Authors Note: Apparently that last chapter was confusing. Or at least you can't see where I'm going with this? Well, just hold on. Lily wants a gentlemen and she feels that she won't find that with any of the guys at Hogwarts. She has, however dated. She's not stuck up. Lily is a very difficult character to portray. She's fast tempered but not bitchy, her morals are strong, but she's not naïve. She's hardcore, but caring. Headstrong, but not stuck up. The balance. And one has to get that right, because otherwise it's difficult to justify James' obsession. To clarify the relationships…

Lily and Remus are friends by connection. They didn't really…date…but they went through a lot together. Lily still loves him, or thinks she does, while he finds her compelling, but perhaps not his type. (Perhaps.)

James is hopelessly in love with Lily. He has matured a bit over the summer, but still nothing drastic. He will make some personality changes throughout this story. But he has seen that it is necessary to take another route to Ms Evans' heart if he truly wishes to win it. Which he does. A lot. So he's not as gentleman-y as Lily would like, but he's going about thisall in a more subtle approach anyways. You might not hear from him so much in later chapters, but imagine that he's becoming more and more passive. He sees Lily's like/love for Remus. He's not stupid.

Sirius and Jessie…right. Well, Sirius is headstrong! He's had lovers, snogging partners, fangirls, but never really a girlfriend. Until Jessie. So, that's totally a big deal to him. See, for Black, love equals weakness. He's never had to be loved by his family and he sort of takes pride in that. He's your typical hardened male type. But he's still a sweetheart when he wants to be, a puppy underneath. So admitting that he truly loves Jessie is difficult for him.

I MIGHT do a backstory on the beginnings of their relationship, since it's such an important thing for understanding Sirius as a character.

Remus is pretty low-key on the romance scale, he has fangirls, but he never participates (?) with them. He's pretty wrapped up with something that will come up in chapters to come (oooh, cliffie!) Anything else? Oh yes, Li.

Li likes someone a lot, but that will come up later. Not that important now. Well, it is. But I just don't have to tell you all until it comes up in the story, I don't think. Sorry for rambling.

I do not own Harry Potter or any of that. J.K. does and she is super cool.

Fighting Logic

Chapter Two: Shades of Gray

Maybe you're older, wiser in your own right, it's your mistake
I'm gonna do my own thing regardless, my choice to make
I am real, in touch with my feelings, and I know my place
You have shown, on the other hand, both sides of your face
I see the world in a different light
Things not always black and white
Through all these years still, to this day
My hardened eyes see only shades of gray
-Biohazard

The rest of the train ride commenced with angry silence. Jessie stared determinedly at the door, while Lily gazed, eyes flashing, out the window at the falling rain. The countryside had begun to unfold as Li attempted to make conversation with the pair. Gray hills flew past Lily's eyes, then again and again. Ordinarily, she wouldn't be so impractical as to not at least talk things over with her friend, but Lily wasn't in a talking mood, especially since she knew that it would only lead the fiery spirits to more shouting.

Meanwhile, back in the boys compartment, Sirius' face was drained of nearly all its color. Nearly five minutes ago, the boys had been shoving one another jovially in attempts to overhear the girls' conversations through the wall separating them, but no more. Now forced conversation loomed in the air between the best friends, where awkward silences were soon to come.

Sirius let out a barking laugh, sucked dry of all its mirth, "What's up guys?" He said, grinning in an awful way. The three just looked at him, knowing this side of Sirius. Sirius saw their faces, and allowed his own to fall, as he quietly slipped out of the room.

Okay, just…confront her. You can do this. Well, not that you have to. That's right. No body does this to Sirius Black. Just…don't jump to conclusions just yet. Sirius thought to himself, taking a deep breath in front of the girl's compartment. He knocked softly.

Inside the compartment, Li jumped then laughed nervously, standing to answer the door. She poked her head out. "Oh, hey Sirius." His ashen face, normally lit up so boyishly, surprised her.

"Uh, hi Li." He mumbled, shoving his hands in his jean pockets. Li observed how magnificently he fit into his jeans. She shook her head, clearing her mind. Jessie's boyfriend! She reminded herself. Well, there was no denying it; even Lily had noticed (along with the rest of the female population at Hogwarts) Sirius was drop dead gorgeous. "Can I talk to Jessie? Please?"

"Um, sure." Li blushed and looked down, "Jessie? Sirius." Jessie stood up and walked outside into the hallway, leaning against the wall opposite him.

"Hi Sirius, what's up?" She said, folding her arms across her salmon colored camisole.

Impulsively, Sirius said, "Jess, you really shouldn't be wearing stuff like that. I mean, honestly." He gestured at a passing fourth year boy, a bit gawky looking and with acne splattered face. As the boy walked nervously past them, he shot a scared look at Sirius, for he was well known for impulsive acts, especially when they involved Jessie. As for Jessie, though, he looked her up and down, and not paying attention, swerved into a wall.

Jessie frowned, inwardly agreeing grudgingly. "I can wear whatever I like, Black." She said maliciously.

"Hey relax, woman. I don't give a damn whether you're stark naked, only when you're my girl you've got to look at least halfway sensible."

"Right," She replied, running a hair through her tangled hair, "Right. Only what were you talking to me about? You heard me didn't you, well, out with it." She flinched, hearing her words, bitter and harsh. Too late.

Sirius closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. "You are a cold hearted person, Jess. I thought I knew you better." He would have turned, too and left dramatically. But something held him in place, hoping that she would offer up an apology and kiss him or something. Stupid, Sirius thought.

"I'm not cold hearted! I'm fine! Honestly, it wasn't either of us. I'm sorry for being so brash back then." She said defensively

"Oh yeah?" Sirius retorted, thinking of a time before all of this.

"Yeah. See, it's only…I mean, I care about you and I know you care about me," Sirius let out a rasping laugh, "Well, it's just…we're not compatible! I mean, sure it was fun, and I can still out-prank you any day…but you're too headstrong and I deserve better." There, she had said it.

"Better?" Sirius nearly yelled, "Do you know who you're talking to? I'm Sirius Black! I'm the best 'better' you'll ever get!" Mind blowing, women can be.

Jessie slowly shook her head and backed towards her compartment, "Chris loves me for who I am, and he's kind. You were fun, Sirius and I hope we're still friends, but I don't want to be your girlfriend. Find a fangirl to sugarcoat."

And with that, she had disappeared, bushy head and all, into the small room. Sirius ran a hand through his black hair. Oh shit. Way to go man. Way to go. I'm the best better? You cocky prick! Well...it's true. He groaned, hitting his head against the wall. Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Love sucks, you know that?" Sirius said hours later, his speech slurred slightly. His best friend in the boys compartment now, surrounded him. "Men, this is life." He said, "I don't need them. I don't need her. She's an assssssss hole" He giggled and hiccupped. James rolled his eyes as his friend fell sideways on his lap. He reached over and took the Strawberry Hill bottle from his loose grasp. Sirius grabbed for the booze blindly, his eyes closing, "No, mate. I want to get drunk…" He trailed off before collapsing into a stupor.

James sat, head against the seat for a bit, thinking about Jessie. It just didn't make sense to him. They were the best couple. Sirius has come in hours before, mumbling something about them not being compatible, searching his bag for the liquor everybody knew he kept stashed away. Remus and Peter had left the room when he pulled out the Strawberry Hill. Remus couldn't stand alcohol and he knew that Sirius had been through enough, not wanting anyone but his best mate by his side was understandable.

This was the worst I've seen him at, James thought, looking down at Sirius' sweat drenched hair. Only you can look decent when you're drunk, Black. James smiled. James was very much aware at just how sensitive his friend was. The only time he had seen Sirius like this was once when they were sixteen. Sirius had gotten into a particularly heated row with seemingly his whole family and he had come over to James' house bloodied and soaked from the rain. James welcomed him in, of course. His parents didn't care, they were probably too busy to realize Sirius was even there until a week later. So Sirius stayed with them from then on, but that night was awful. Sirius destroyed an entire room nearly, trashing it totally, throwing thing everywhere, upturning tables, and pounding holes in walls.

Blood, tears, and sweat, James thought. He certainly does view the world differently.

Sirius had become a part of the Potter family nearly. Waking up and taking in meals with James. Brushing his teeth there, sleeping there, even taking James' summer lessons with him. Not a part of the family necessarily, but he defiantly became James' brother. Then again, since when did the rich bother with family?

Well, one becomes accustomed to it, James thought bitterly, holding his drunken, heart-broken friend, who was too proud to admit to either.

A/N:

Thanks for reading! I do appreciate your reviews, few though they may be. Suggestions are welcome. And sorry this chapter was particularly short, I really wanted to emphasize the end point, though. Thank you. Oh man, look! House is on! Does anyone watch that show? I adore it!