Wasuremono: The Things We Leave Behind
Chapter 2: Sherry of 1000 Tales
"This is supposed to be a theme park?" Nami said in disgust.
She had good cause to be disappointed. The "Magical Ocean of Adventure Theme Park" covered quite a bit of ground, but you could have taken all the attractions that weren't broken, utterly worn out, or just plain bad and fit them into one room, and even then, it would be a mostly empty room. Malfunctioning clockwork automatons made up to look like characters of legend sputtered into occasional life, straining to fulfill their endlessly repetitive tasks. Rain-streaked wooden cutouts leered down at the very few visitors unlucky enough to be stuck spending the day here, while from below, weeds poked freely out from the paving stones. Somehow, the mechanical characters, even those that were smiling, seemed to have expressions of misery mirroring those on the faces of the patrons. Only Nami's companions seemed the least bit interested in what the park had to offer.
"These animatronics are really well crafted." Usopp commented, taking a closer examination of the moving joints of a mechanical Noland.
"That's it, the city of gold sank into the s-ank into the s-ank into the s-ankintothes-ankitos-ankintos-" the clockwork dummy responded, its vocal spring squealing horribly as it caught on a loose internal part. Sparks flew out of Noland's gaping grin.
"How can you say that? These are in terrible shape!" Nami said.
"They weren't always. But it doesn't look like there's been any maintenance on them for years. Even the best engineering will deteriorate over time. They could be fixed up as good as new." Usopp tapped Noland's violently quivering head. With a small but firey explosion, the head exploded free of the body and flew off into the woods, leaving billows of acrid smoke in its wake and still chattering rapidly about the city of gold.
"I'd like to meet this 'Sherry'" Sanji said, straightening his tie. "I don't think the 'most beautiful pirate queen in history' could compare to Nami-san, but it doesn't hurt to check."
"Uh, well." Their guide, the knock-kneed teenager in a patchwork Gold Roger costume who had introduced himself as "Reggie", coughed. "I think she should be in the main office. She's the owner, you know. She built the park to represent all the adventures she had when she sailed the seas. That's how she got her nickname, '1000 Tales', because she has about a thousand stories to tell."
They could tell when they were getting closer to the center of the park because the sad fairytale display began to give way to broken rides. The ferris wheel, the bumper carts - almost everything was out of service, and those that weren't might as well have been. Nobody was brave enough to risk their lives on such rickety contraptions.
The central office proved to be a shack hidden behind a section of the long-collapsed roller coaster track. On the door was a weathered poster bearing the legend "Sherry of 1000 Tales".
Sanji's eye bugged out heart-shaped at it. The woman on the poster was gorgeous, voluptuous, and not wearing much beyond her vest and diaphanous pantaloons. "She's the owner?" he gasped.
"Uh, yeah, but--" their guide began.
"SHERRY-SAN!" Sanji cried, flinging open the door. "It's so nice to MEET YOU! My name is AAAAAAAAGGGGGGH!!"
Luffy, Usopp, Chopper and Nami stepped into the shack over Sanji's quivering body. "Ba-ba- baba- baba..." he muttered in shock, curling up into the fetal position.
"Well, honestly." Nami sighed. "I could have seen this coming - that poster looked faded enough to be about a hundred years old."
"How rude!" croaked the incredibly old crone within the shack, hobbling out from behind her orange-crate desk. "It's only seventy-three years old, impertinent girl!" She shook one long, claw-like finger in Nami's face. "What's the meaning of coming into my office?"
"Uhm, they're pirates, Grannums." Reggie said apologetically. "I don't think they're raiding us, though."
"If they are, they'll have to answer to me." Sherry's dusty voice croaked. "Your crew would do well to remember who you're talking to. I captained one of the largest pirate crews in the world, back in my youth, you know."
"We don't have any intention of stealing from this place." Nami said. "We'll just be here until the log sets. How long does it take?"
"Nineteen days." Sherry answered. "So you might as well get used to the place."
"Wow, you're awesome, lady!" Luffy said, staring at the old woman. "You're super old and wrinkly, but your hair is still really black and silky. You're like a shrunken head I saw once, only alive and you've got a shrunken everything!!"
"How detestably forward! Young man, there are indeed living shrunken heads on the island of Myopopo! I've met them, and they look nothing like me! Absolutely nothing! They're much shorter!"
"The living shrunken heads - yes, I met them too, once, you know--" Usopp began.
"Can you tell us a little about the lay of the land?" Nami interrupted. Sherry hobbled over to an antique looking map on the wall. "This here, where we are right now, is called 'Reverse Mountain', because it's where you start and it's where all the parts of the park meet. It's where all the big rides are. To the north is 'Fairytale Island', and to the south is 'Sea Monster's Lair' - that's the funhouse and such."
"I didn't mean map of the park! What else is on this island?"
"Tortugan doesn't have much. A few small towns, and the capital, Tortuga, which is pretty big."
"The capital--"
"--is a great place to go if you like having body parts chopped off. The local authorities don't cotton to pirates, or really, to any kind of fun. That's why I'm way out here. I suggest you stay here at the park. Although there is one very important thing you need to know." Her face took on a grave expression. "One item of vital importance to your remaining here."
"What's that?" Nami asked.
"800 berries per person per day, admission."
"I'M NOT PAYING THAT!" She turned and stalked out the door. "For this place? What a rip off. Come on, let's just wait on the ship!"
"Oi, Granny." Usopp spoke up. "How many people do you have working here?"
"It's just my lazy great-great-grandson. There used to be more, but business is off."
"Well, I couldn't help but notice that some of the rides and displays are broken." Usopp said. "If you don't mind me taking a look at them, I bet I could get some of them working again."
"Yeah! That sounds fun!" Luffy grinned. "I'll help too!"
"It's a good idea, since we're free anyway." Chopper said.
"Really? That's a very generous offer." She smiled, revealing several gaps in her teeth. "If some of those things were fixed, we might actually bring in some more business. I can't promise I'll be able to pay you, but if we end up increasing ticket sales, you can have the extra money."
"Oh no." Usopp said, folding his arms. "The Great and Manly Usopp does this out of the goodness of his--"
"What percentage of the extra?" Nami said, popping back in through the door.
"Crap, how far away were you when you heard 'money'?" Usopp murmured.
"What about sales of food and merchandise?" Nami pressed on. "And if my workers incur expenses renovating the park, how much interest will we get with our compensation?"
"Er..." Sherry began, chuckling embarassedly. "I'm not so good with money details like that. All I usually do is charge admission. I tell you what, why don't you just keep track of it and take whatever you think is a fair amount for yourself?"
"Th-th-" Nami swallowed a sudden rush of drool. "That sounds like an acceptable agreement."
"If that's how good Sherry's business sense is, it's no wonder this place is falling into ruins." Usopp said to Chopper under his breath.
"If we're going to make any profit, we need to divide up tasks efficiently." Nami said. "Usopp, you can take care of fixing the clockwork in 'Fairytale Island'. See if you can repaint some of the cutouts too. Chopper, you can get started cleaning up the place, there's garbage everywhere."
"I'll do my best!"
"Sanji, could you make some concessions to sell?"
"I'll get started right away, Nami-san!" the cook cried. "I know plenty of little things I can make that would be suited for selling as refreshments."
"And I'll fix the roller coaster!" Luffy cheered. "Hey, old lady, where do you keep the really big hammers?"
"NOBODY'S going to TOUCH those big deathtraps, especially not you!" Nami shouted. "Let's get the little things fixed first, since we have less than three weeks to turn a profit. Luffy, you can be our publicity person, to let people in the city know that the park is being improved. You're... noticeable enough. I'll print some flyers for you to hand out. You can help with cleaning until then."
"H-hey," Usopp stammered. "Just a minute, when did you suddenly take charge of this? I just wanted to help out an old woman, not make a pile of berries off of her."
"Who says we can't do both? I'm not going to sit here for nineteen days doing NOTHING!"
Chopper rushed to hide behind Usopp in his usual reversed way. "Nami is scary..." While Chopper and Luffy rushed off to pull weeds and pick up trash, the other three walked back to the Going Merry for the supplies they needed. At their arrival, Nico Robin was leaning on the ship's rail looking down at them, a little flushed and winded.
"Hey! Robin! How was your day alone with Zoro?" Usopp called.
"DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT!" Sanji yelled at him. "Robin-chan! I'm baaack!"
"Welcome home, Cook, Navigator, Sharpshooter."
"Nami - " Usopp began when they were on deck. "I want to show you something. There's something I've been working on that I think could really help turn the park's fortunes around."
"Yes, what is it?"
"In here." He led her into the men's bedroom and pulled a large trunk out from under his bed. "I started off just building one for me, but then I thought you could use one too." He flipped the lip open and pulled out what was inside, laying it out on the bed.
".... THAT?"
"See, this one's mine, and that's yours."
"You want me to WEAR THAT? In PUBLIC?" Nami goggled at him. "Are you CRAZY?"
"Nobody will be able to see your face. Besides, when I was a kid this kind of live show was really popular. I bet we bring in crowds of people to see it. Crowds of paying customers."
"Weee-ll..." Nami said uncertainly. "If you're sure we won't have to show our faces... maybe."
"That's the spirit!" Usopp crowed. He picked up the gaudy red helmet from the bed and pushed it down over his head, his nose escaping from the faceplate with an audible "twaaaang!" "The Usopp Galaxy Fantastic Volcano Hurricane Action Rangers are ready for deployment!"
"...I'm embarrassed already...."
End Chapter 2! Please leave your reviews! Next time: The Straw Hat pirates do their best to help out the park, but problems arise. A mysterious woman named Swiss appears - will she be a friend or an enemy? .... And how can she eat as much as Luffy? Next chapter: "Swiss: A Cheesy Encounter"!
Chapter 2: Sherry of 1000 Tales
"This is supposed to be a theme park?" Nami said in disgust.
She had good cause to be disappointed. The "Magical Ocean of Adventure Theme Park" covered quite a bit of ground, but you could have taken all the attractions that weren't broken, utterly worn out, or just plain bad and fit them into one room, and even then, it would be a mostly empty room. Malfunctioning clockwork automatons made up to look like characters of legend sputtered into occasional life, straining to fulfill their endlessly repetitive tasks. Rain-streaked wooden cutouts leered down at the very few visitors unlucky enough to be stuck spending the day here, while from below, weeds poked freely out from the paving stones. Somehow, the mechanical characters, even those that were smiling, seemed to have expressions of misery mirroring those on the faces of the patrons. Only Nami's companions seemed the least bit interested in what the park had to offer.
"These animatronics are really well crafted." Usopp commented, taking a closer examination of the moving joints of a mechanical Noland.
"That's it, the city of gold sank into the s-ank into the s-ank into the s-ankintothes-ankitos-ankintos-" the clockwork dummy responded, its vocal spring squealing horribly as it caught on a loose internal part. Sparks flew out of Noland's gaping grin.
"How can you say that? These are in terrible shape!" Nami said.
"They weren't always. But it doesn't look like there's been any maintenance on them for years. Even the best engineering will deteriorate over time. They could be fixed up as good as new." Usopp tapped Noland's violently quivering head. With a small but firey explosion, the head exploded free of the body and flew off into the woods, leaving billows of acrid smoke in its wake and still chattering rapidly about the city of gold.
"I'd like to meet this 'Sherry'" Sanji said, straightening his tie. "I don't think the 'most beautiful pirate queen in history' could compare to Nami-san, but it doesn't hurt to check."
"Uh, well." Their guide, the knock-kneed teenager in a patchwork Gold Roger costume who had introduced himself as "Reggie", coughed. "I think she should be in the main office. She's the owner, you know. She built the park to represent all the adventures she had when she sailed the seas. That's how she got her nickname, '1000 Tales', because she has about a thousand stories to tell."
They could tell when they were getting closer to the center of the park because the sad fairytale display began to give way to broken rides. The ferris wheel, the bumper carts - almost everything was out of service, and those that weren't might as well have been. Nobody was brave enough to risk their lives on such rickety contraptions.
The central office proved to be a shack hidden behind a section of the long-collapsed roller coaster track. On the door was a weathered poster bearing the legend "Sherry of 1000 Tales".
Sanji's eye bugged out heart-shaped at it. The woman on the poster was gorgeous, voluptuous, and not wearing much beyond her vest and diaphanous pantaloons. "She's the owner?" he gasped.
"Uh, yeah, but--" their guide began.
"SHERRY-SAN!" Sanji cried, flinging open the door. "It's so nice to MEET YOU! My name is AAAAAAAAGGGGGGH!!"
Luffy, Usopp, Chopper and Nami stepped into the shack over Sanji's quivering body. "Ba-ba- baba- baba..." he muttered in shock, curling up into the fetal position.
"Well, honestly." Nami sighed. "I could have seen this coming - that poster looked faded enough to be about a hundred years old."
"How rude!" croaked the incredibly old crone within the shack, hobbling out from behind her orange-crate desk. "It's only seventy-three years old, impertinent girl!" She shook one long, claw-like finger in Nami's face. "What's the meaning of coming into my office?"
"Uhm, they're pirates, Grannums." Reggie said apologetically. "I don't think they're raiding us, though."
"If they are, they'll have to answer to me." Sherry's dusty voice croaked. "Your crew would do well to remember who you're talking to. I captained one of the largest pirate crews in the world, back in my youth, you know."
"We don't have any intention of stealing from this place." Nami said. "We'll just be here until the log sets. How long does it take?"
"Nineteen days." Sherry answered. "So you might as well get used to the place."
"Wow, you're awesome, lady!" Luffy said, staring at the old woman. "You're super old and wrinkly, but your hair is still really black and silky. You're like a shrunken head I saw once, only alive and you've got a shrunken everything!!"
"How detestably forward! Young man, there are indeed living shrunken heads on the island of Myopopo! I've met them, and they look nothing like me! Absolutely nothing! They're much shorter!"
"The living shrunken heads - yes, I met them too, once, you know--" Usopp began.
"Can you tell us a little about the lay of the land?" Nami interrupted. Sherry hobbled over to an antique looking map on the wall. "This here, where we are right now, is called 'Reverse Mountain', because it's where you start and it's where all the parts of the park meet. It's where all the big rides are. To the north is 'Fairytale Island', and to the south is 'Sea Monster's Lair' - that's the funhouse and such."
"I didn't mean map of the park! What else is on this island?"
"Tortugan doesn't have much. A few small towns, and the capital, Tortuga, which is pretty big."
"The capital--"
"--is a great place to go if you like having body parts chopped off. The local authorities don't cotton to pirates, or really, to any kind of fun. That's why I'm way out here. I suggest you stay here at the park. Although there is one very important thing you need to know." Her face took on a grave expression. "One item of vital importance to your remaining here."
"What's that?" Nami asked.
"800 berries per person per day, admission."
"I'M NOT PAYING THAT!" She turned and stalked out the door. "For this place? What a rip off. Come on, let's just wait on the ship!"
"Oi, Granny." Usopp spoke up. "How many people do you have working here?"
"It's just my lazy great-great-grandson. There used to be more, but business is off."
"Well, I couldn't help but notice that some of the rides and displays are broken." Usopp said. "If you don't mind me taking a look at them, I bet I could get some of them working again."
"Yeah! That sounds fun!" Luffy grinned. "I'll help too!"
"It's a good idea, since we're free anyway." Chopper said.
"Really? That's a very generous offer." She smiled, revealing several gaps in her teeth. "If some of those things were fixed, we might actually bring in some more business. I can't promise I'll be able to pay you, but if we end up increasing ticket sales, you can have the extra money."
"Oh no." Usopp said, folding his arms. "The Great and Manly Usopp does this out of the goodness of his--"
"What percentage of the extra?" Nami said, popping back in through the door.
"Crap, how far away were you when you heard 'money'?" Usopp murmured.
"What about sales of food and merchandise?" Nami pressed on. "And if my workers incur expenses renovating the park, how much interest will we get with our compensation?"
"Er..." Sherry began, chuckling embarassedly. "I'm not so good with money details like that. All I usually do is charge admission. I tell you what, why don't you just keep track of it and take whatever you think is a fair amount for yourself?"
"Th-th-" Nami swallowed a sudden rush of drool. "That sounds like an acceptable agreement."
"If that's how good Sherry's business sense is, it's no wonder this place is falling into ruins." Usopp said to Chopper under his breath.
"If we're going to make any profit, we need to divide up tasks efficiently." Nami said. "Usopp, you can take care of fixing the clockwork in 'Fairytale Island'. See if you can repaint some of the cutouts too. Chopper, you can get started cleaning up the place, there's garbage everywhere."
"I'll do my best!"
"Sanji, could you make some concessions to sell?"
"I'll get started right away, Nami-san!" the cook cried. "I know plenty of little things I can make that would be suited for selling as refreshments."
"And I'll fix the roller coaster!" Luffy cheered. "Hey, old lady, where do you keep the really big hammers?"
"NOBODY'S going to TOUCH those big deathtraps, especially not you!" Nami shouted. "Let's get the little things fixed first, since we have less than three weeks to turn a profit. Luffy, you can be our publicity person, to let people in the city know that the park is being improved. You're... noticeable enough. I'll print some flyers for you to hand out. You can help with cleaning until then."
"H-hey," Usopp stammered. "Just a minute, when did you suddenly take charge of this? I just wanted to help out an old woman, not make a pile of berries off of her."
"Who says we can't do both? I'm not going to sit here for nineteen days doing NOTHING!"
Chopper rushed to hide behind Usopp in his usual reversed way. "Nami is scary..." While Chopper and Luffy rushed off to pull weeds and pick up trash, the other three walked back to the Going Merry for the supplies they needed. At their arrival, Nico Robin was leaning on the ship's rail looking down at them, a little flushed and winded.
"Hey! Robin! How was your day alone with Zoro?" Usopp called.
"DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT!" Sanji yelled at him. "Robin-chan! I'm baaack!"
"Welcome home, Cook, Navigator, Sharpshooter."
"Nami - " Usopp began when they were on deck. "I want to show you something. There's something I've been working on that I think could really help turn the park's fortunes around."
"Yes, what is it?"
"In here." He led her into the men's bedroom and pulled a large trunk out from under his bed. "I started off just building one for me, but then I thought you could use one too." He flipped the lip open and pulled out what was inside, laying it out on the bed.
".... THAT?"
"See, this one's mine, and that's yours."
"You want me to WEAR THAT? In PUBLIC?" Nami goggled at him. "Are you CRAZY?"
"Nobody will be able to see your face. Besides, when I was a kid this kind of live show was really popular. I bet we bring in crowds of people to see it. Crowds of paying customers."
"Weee-ll..." Nami said uncertainly. "If you're sure we won't have to show our faces... maybe."
"That's the spirit!" Usopp crowed. He picked up the gaudy red helmet from the bed and pushed it down over his head, his nose escaping from the faceplate with an audible "twaaaang!" "The Usopp Galaxy Fantastic Volcano Hurricane Action Rangers are ready for deployment!"
"...I'm embarrassed already...."
End Chapter 2! Please leave your reviews! Next time: The Straw Hat pirates do their best to help out the park, but problems arise. A mysterious woman named Swiss appears - will she be a friend or an enemy? .... And how can she eat as much as Luffy? Next chapter: "Swiss: A Cheesy Encounter"!