Dad was being weird.
Not that dad wasn't always weird but now he was being extra weird. Not that Mob should have calling dad weird, even in her head, because that was mean. Even if dad was mean a lot of the time Mob could not just go off and call him names like that. Even if her head. She knew that he couldn't hear her thoughts, he had said before that telepathy was the one power he never wanted, but she still felt bad about calling her dad weird even in her head…even if he was being kind of weird.
"Daughter?" asked dad
"Yes?" said Mob
"Nothing. Watch television." Said dad. He had been doing that all night. All. Night. Mob wished that he would just say what he wanted to say. He was just…not saying anything. That wasn't like him at all. That was just…not like dad at all. He always spoke his mind no matter how mean it sounded or how much it hurt people's feelings.
She hoped that he wasn't planning on hurting her feelings.
She had no idea what it was that he was planning on saying to her. What it was that he wanted to say. She didn't ask him, though, because that might have made him mad. He had been sort of mad at her earlier that day. Maybe because she had been away from Sho for so long. He had kicked her out of his office…sort of. He had thanked her but he had also told her to go away…and she didn't understand at all.
Mob drew her knees up to her chest and bounced her fingers off of her leg.
She really wanted a cigarette. She wished that she could just have one more. Then she could quit forever, really, if she just had one more. Vaping was not the same as smoking even if it tasted a lot better and didn't burn the insides of her nose and mouth. She wasn't going to take up smoking, though, because she had promised Minegishi that she would stop and also dad liked her better when she didn't smell like an ashtray.
Now she smelled like bubblegum.
That was her favorite kind. Her top favorites were bubblegum and then pineapple, and then strawberry, and then very berry, and then tropical berry but she didn't like the chocolate kind because it tasted gross. She didn't like them as much as smoking though…and she really needed to smoke something…well not NEEDED because she had lived ten years of her life without smoking and therefore it was not a need…but she really wanted too….
Minegishi was right. Quitting was hard.
"Daughter?" asked Dad again. Mob didn't let herself get upset. She kept her aura in close and her eyes on the TV. This was a documentary show. Every episode was a different documentary on a different thing about Japan and she and dad had been binge watching it all night in dad's room even though it was late and she was tired and she had to get up in the morning and so did he and why were they even watching this?! They were Japanese. Well they were only half Japanese but still. Why would they watch a documentary show in English made for people who were not Japanese when not only were they both Japanese they were currently IN JAPAN? She could understand if dad was feeling homesick but they were HOME….in their home country. She knew full well that they could never go home again. That they could never go back to the Castle again…
She didn't know what she was so upset about but she knew that a cigarette would really have helped.
"Yes, dad?" asked Mob. She kept her aura from looking mad and she kept her voice normal and she was normal and this was normal, she watched TV with dad all the time, but him being all…like this was weird and it would have been mean of her to even think that he was weird…or annoying…even though he was being weird and annoying and…and stuff….
"Nothing. Continue to watch television." Said Dad. Mob closed her eyes. The picture on the TV went to bars…that was her doing. So was the flickering of the lights above them. Mob knew that she had messed up. Dad hated it when she lost control. Now he would be so mad at her. Now he would pull on her hair or push her out of bed or just tell her how disappointed he was in her or something like that.
Even though he was the one who was bothering her.
It was hard to maintain control when someone was bothering you. She was so tired of people bothering her. Like today. She had to hang out with Minegishi all day, always a good time though, because the Awakened kept on asking her to make dad reconsider about the chair jousting tournament even though someone had lost an eye. Then, after she had managed to make them go away by saying that after the wax man was done they could go sock skating, dad made them stop sock skating so they had tried to bother her again while she was looking for Minegishi…and she had no idea why she had been in such a bad mood all day.
She really wanted a cigarette.
But she had quit. Dad hated how she had smelled and Minegishi had asked her to quit nicely so she had quit. She was done with that…even though she hadn't wanted to be…and even though she still wanted to be. Because that way Minegishi would be happy with her and then they would still want to be her friend. Mob never wanted to stop being friends with them. She wanted to be their friend more than she wanted to smoke. That was why she had said no when Shimazaki offered her one of his cigarettes.
He was so annoying.
She had said 'no thank you' and then he, for some reason, took that as her permission to sit on dad's desk and bother her when she was trying to work. He had touched her hair a lot and told her that she smelled a lot better now that she had stopped smoking…even though he had asked her to smoke with him right before he said that. She didn't understand him. She didn't understand why he kept on touching her hair, either. It was just hair. Lots of people had hair. He should have gone and bothered someone else…but that was mean. He just liked to touch things. He couldn't see so he had to touch a lot of things. His powers could only tell him so much about the world. So she shouldn't have been so mean to him.
Even if he was annoying.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I'll go if you want me to." Said Mob. She untucked her legs from inside of her nightgown and began to climb off of dad's bed. She hoped that she left before he could think of any mean things to say to her. He must have been tired, his day started before hers, and it went for longer than hers too. Maybe he would be too tired to think of any mean things to say or to come up with any ways to punish her.
She was not so lucky.
"Daughter. No. Stay. I want…to talk to you about something." Said Dad. He used his powers to keep her from leaving. She settled herself back down on his bed. Talk. Nothing good ever came from dad saying that he wanted to talk to her. Well bad things happened when he said 'discuss' so maybe talking was different. She didn't know.
She did know, however, that if dad said that he wanted to talk to her then he should have got to talking instead of just sitting there and watching TV.
"Yes, dad?" asked Mob. She hoped that he wasn't about to say something mean…and it seemed like he wasn't. His aura wasn't mad at all. It was all tucked in, actually, which was very strange for him. Maybe he was worried about something at work. Well it was nothing that she had done. She had heard him loud and clear, she was not allowed to make any choices.
She was never allowed to make any choices.
Like now. She wanted to go to bed. She wanted to go to her own bed in her own room, the one she shared with Sho, and she wanted to lay down in bed and sleep. That was what she wanted. She also wanted to smoke, too, but she didn't get to make a choice about that even though she could have quit whenever she wanted. That was why she wanted one so badly now. If she had chosen to stop smoking on her own then she wouldn't have wanted to smoke so badly that even taking Shimazaki up on his offer from earlier didn't seem like such a bad idea…
But it would have been. Which was why she said no.
"I was wondering if I could…ask you something." Said Dad
"You can ask me anything, dad, you always do." Said Mob. This as very strange. Dad never asked her if it was ok to ask her something. He just asked her questions. She wondered what this could have been able. For a moment she thinks that he may have been getting ready to tell her that he knew about the smoking and the drinking and also the mangas that she kept in the bag under her bed with the people kissing…but if he knew then he would have said something to her instead of just…being all weird like this.
"I was just wondering if you were interested in anyone." Said Dad. Mob blinks. That was…what was the question? She was interested in everyone. Everyone was interesting to her since she knew so few people. Even talking to the Awakened, the ones who were sort of normal, was interesting….but she got the feeling that dad meant something else…she hated how bad she was at talking.
"What do you mean?" asked Mob. It was best just to ask instead of pretending that she knew what he was talking about. That way they could get this done with as soon as possible.
"Romantically. Are you interested in anyone romantically?" asked dad. Mob's brain stopped working for a moment….before it suddenly went faster than it ever had before. Why was dad asking that?! What did he even want to know about that for?! What was he planning on doing with that information?! There was no reason for him to want to know about how she thought about boys and holding hands and kissing and-
Wait.
Did he KNOW?
Did he know that she had kissed a boy? Did he know that she had betrayed him!? Who talked? Someone in her small circle of people she trusted had talked. Minegishi? No, they were her best friend…but they were really bad at keeping secrets…like how they had told her about how Shimazaki had conversations with himself in his sleep and also about his serious medical condition where unless someone was paying attention to him he didn't know if he was real or not…but Minegishi was the only one who knew…well them and Mukai…
But Mukai couldn't talk yet.
What the H-word!? They had told?! Mob trusted them and-conceal, don't feel. Conceal, don't feel. She had to calm down before she lost control again…she had to calm down so that she could think. She had to calm down because she was thinking thoughts that made no sense. Minegishi was her best friend. They would never tell her secrets. That was what best friends were for. They would never have told dad about how she had kissed….and if dad knew about that day, about how she had betrayed him, then he would not have waited this long to tell her that he knew. He would have punished her a long time ago.
Dad never waited. He always got right to the punishments.
So then why was dad being so nosy!? Mob didn't go around asking him if he liked any girls…because there was no reason to since he was married to mom and he was not allowed to like any girls but mom like that…but even if he and mom had been divorced Mob still would not have asked him if he liked any girls! Because that was not the sort of thing you asked your family members! She didn't go around asking Sho if he liked any girls! And Sho never asked her if she liked any boys!
This was not the sort of thing that you wanted to know about your family members!
"Wh-why do you want to know?" asked Mob. She needed to stay calm and then figure out what dad even needed this information for. Ok, if he knew that she had betrayed him and kissed a boy then he would have punished her. Also she didn't currently like anyone like that, Hanazawa was more of a faraway memory by now since she hadn't seen him since they'd kissed, so that wasn't even a secret that she had….
She didn't like anyone specific but she had been thinking A LOT about kissing lately….
Was that it? Had he figured out about all of the weird thoughts that she had been having throughout her day? Did he know about how she sometimes just looked at boys and had the weirdest thoughts? Like how she could have just gone and kissed them? Like how it was something that she physically could do at any time…but she wouldn't because that would have been weird. That was all Shimazaki's fault. He was always saying how he could kiss her…
And then sometimes he kissed his hand and pressed it right up against her cheek just to be annoying.
"I was just wondering about…about that. If you were at that point yet. You're getting older, Daughter, and I was just…wondering about that." Said dad
"Why would you wonder about that? Why do you care? That's…a weird sort of thing to care about." Said Mob. She shouldn't have called her dad weird but…but this was a weird conversation to have with someone. She would never in a million years have had this sort of conversation with him or Sho. Even Minegishi said that asking people if they liked someone was being nosy…and she had been very nosy when she asked them if they liked Shimazaki…because they did kiss a lot when they didn't know that she was around…which was also her being nosy because she should not have been in their house without making her presence known…
Maybe this was where she got her nosiness from.
"It is?" asked dad
"Yes, I mean…why do you want to know? It's kind of personal, dad, kind of very personal." Said Mob
"I am aware that it's a very personal question, Daughter, I'm aware." Said dad
"If you know then why are you asking me this stuff? Like…why do you even care if I like someone like that or not? It's not like I have a boyfriend or anything…and also you're my dad and dads are not supposed to ask these kinds of questions." Said Mob. Dad made his thinking face. That could have been good or bad. She hoped that he was thinking about something unrelated to her and love and her she had been thinking and thinking and thinking about kissing boys...literally anything other than how badly she wanted to have a boy like her and kiss her and hold her hand and stuff…
Literally anything else.
"I have recently come into some information which I find…troubling…and I don't know how I should proceed. I have no idea what I am supposed to do because, as you have said, I am your father. This is something that your mother would have handled but obviously she's not here." Said dad. Mob blinked. Dad had…talked about mom. Like just…just mentioned that Mob and Sho had a mom. That mom was a person in the world who existed…and he didn't even look mad.
He was making his ring spin back and forth with his powers….and his aura was all tucked in…which was weird.
"What's troubling you, dad? Anything that I can help with?" asked Mob. She wanted to talk more about mom. She wanted dad to tell her about mom and just…just anything other than how mom had been a traitor when she left and how they were never supposed to mention her again. She wanted to talk about mom but she knew how much dad hated talking about mom…so she didn't ask.
Even though she really wanted to.
"Just…why Shimazaki?" asked dad after a little while. Mob…was lost. She was so lost she didn't even know where they were or how they had gotten there. Well she knew, obviously, that she was in Tokyo but she also had no idea how her and dad's conversation had gone to Shimazaki of all people. Dad disliked him, dad really disliked him, and now he was talking about him…and that was never a safe thing to do because he came when you said his name, sometimes, kind of like Bloody Mary except he was real and you didn't have to look in the mirror and say his name three times to summon him.
Once was usually enough….but Mob could still feel his aura. It was all tangled up with Minegishi's next door.
"What about him…and also he comes when you say his name…so maybe don't say his name." said Mob
"I'll say whatever I want to…but thank you for warning me." Said dad
"You're welcome, dad." Said Mob. There was another stretch of silence. Their show went to the next episode. This one was about chopsticks. Why someone wanted to make a whole episode of a show about chopsticks of all things she did not know. Still, though, she would have rather stayed up all night talking about chopsticks than about her liking boys…or Shimazaki…and how those two went together she would never know.
Dad could be so weird sometimes.
"I saw you with him today." Said dad. That had been a long period of silence. Long enough for Mob to have thought that their weird conversation was over and done with. She didn't want to get back to it. She wanted to learn about chopsticks and why foreign people were so interested in them…and also she wanted to get some of those fancy chopsticks with cats on them…those looked pretty….
But she did not want to talk about Shimazaki.
"Yes, he was in your office with me." Said Mob. She stared at the TV and waited for dad to say something else. She wished that he would have just figured out what he wanted to say before he said it…and also that he didn't go back to asking her personal questions. She didn't want that at all.
"He was…Daughter? Why him?" asked dad
"He was in your office because he hangs out there all day. He hangs out there all day because you hang out there all day. You hang out there all day because that's your office where you work. I was there, too, because you asked me to help you out. That's what happened." Said Mob. She was as specific as possible. That way he couldn't tell her to explain. She hated it when he said that. 'Daughter. Explain.' And stuff like that.
She drummed her fingers against the bed. Hopefully that was the end of it.
All she wanted was to come to the end of this. What did dad want? Besides to keep her up all night asking personal questions. All she wanted to do was go to sleep….and that didn't look like it was going to happen anytime soon. Between dad keeping her up and the stress she was feeling she didn't know how she was going to go to sleep.
Smoking had always helped with that…but she had quit so there was no point in even thinking about that.
"Daughter….I'm not being clear enough. Forgive me. This is…not a conversation that I had ever imagined myself having with you…or at least not at your current age. Just...I was just wondering why you…why you feel the way you do about him. Out of all the men you could have had….literally anyone in the world…why him? And why at your age?" asked dad. Mob turned to look at him. She…had no idea what he was talking about. She was clueless, she hated being clueless, but dad could be kind of weird…and weird and clueless were not a good combination. Maybe they needed some interpreters to come in so they would figure out what the other was trying to say so they could just go to bed already.
"Dad…I don't know what you're asking me. I'm sorry that I'm so clueless but…but I really don't understand what you're asking me." Said Mob
"This isn't easy for me, either, Daughter. None of this is easy for me. I mean, you're ten years old and he's at least three times your age." Said dad. Now Mob was even more confused. She had no idea what ages had to do with it. Also he was not three times her age, yet. He was still only twenty nine. His birthday wasn't for a few more months. Mob had already planned out what she would get him. He liked to chew on candles sometimes but not eat them but she would get the nontoxic kind just in case.
"Dad….what does that have to do with anything?" asked Mob
"Because…because you're ten years old…and he's thirty." Said dad
"He's twenty nine. He won't be thirty until October. I'm getting him candles to chew on." Said Mob
"What in the world…one thing at a time. One subject at a time." Said dad
"What?" asked Mob. She had no clue, now, and she just…wanted to go to bed already…but dad was too busy being all weird and stuff…
"Daughter…just…there is not that much difference between twenty nine and thirty. Alright? I am trying to understand you right now and…and I just want to know what you…see…in him…" said dad
"See?" asked Mob
"Yes. I have no idea what I am going to do with this information when I get it but I just…want to know what it is you see in him. What about him…he's three times your age…." Said dad
"Dad…I don't get it…what you mean…and why you keep saying our ages. I don't get it. Why you keep on saying ages and also why you keep on asking me all of this. Why do you want to know about….whatever you want to know about?" asked Mob. Dad was looking at her and she was looking at dad and neither of them was looking at the TV anymore. She had no idea what anything even was anymore…
"Age may not matter to you but…but it would matter to other people. You and him…being together. Society would not approve." Said dad. Mob thought for a moment….and then it came to her. Oh! How could she have been so clueless?
Dad was asking why she was friends with him.
Even though they were barely even friends. He was annoying and he bothered her all the time and also he called Minegishi 'Toshi' even though he knew that they hated that. He was also always in personal space. She didn't much like that. She didn't want to not be his friend…but she did wish that he was a better friend.
"He's alright I guess. He's…Shimazaki. I guess. I don't like him all that much, really, but he's ok….sometimes. He can be nice sometimes but also he can be so annoying…but that's ok. Sometimes we have fun together…sometimes. I wish he would give me some more space, though, and not touch me so often. It's kind of annoying." Said Mob. Dad was looking at her now and his aura was resting on hers and…and she had no idea what it was that he was looking at her like that for or thinking about…or anything.
"So…you didn't want him to touch you." Said Dad slowly.
"No…I mean I don't mind that much. I mean I wish that he would at least ask first, I guess I would like him better if he asked first, I guess." Said Mob. Dad was still looking at her. She wished that he would just start over from the beginning and just…get right to the point…because she still didn't know what the point even was.
"I…have no idea what to do with this information…so just…leave me. It's late. Go to sleep." Said dad. Mob didn't have to be told twice. It was late, she was tired, and she wanted to just go to sleep already. So she did.
"Goodnight, dad." Said Mob. She loved her dad, she liked spending time with him and watching TV with him and…and hanging out with him. He was her dad and she loved him. She loved it when he was nice to her…but she was also tired and stressed and she really wanted a cigarette even though she wasn't supposed to have them but she couldn't help it. That had been…she didn't even know what that had been about. Dad just asking her a bunch of questions that she was too clueless to even figure out what any of that had to do with anything.
She really wished that she still smoked.
Because dad could be very tiresome when he got all weird and stuff like that.