The best thing to do was to stay far away from big sis.

This was not an easy thing to do when they lived in the same house and slept in the same room and had to sit at the same table. Sho made it work, though, because he had to. He had no choice. He had been made at her, madder than he had ever been in his entire life, and he had been ready to do the worst thing that he ever could have done. It was one thing to fight with someone but he hadn't wanted to fight her. Sometimes he felt so mad at her that he had to pull her hair or kick her or pinch her or something like that but those things…they were not nearly as bad as what he had thought of doing to her the other day….

He had wanted to hurt her.

To hurt her for real. To hurt her like dad hurt people. That was what dad did to people, he hurt them, and he made them bleed. That was what he had wanted to do to his own big sister. That was what he would have done to his own big sister if he had opened the door. But he hadn't. He had stayed in the bathroom for the whole night to make sure that he didn't hurt her. He had stayed in there even when she'd knocked on the door because she had to pee and brush her teeth and stuff. He knew that he should have come out, they only had the one bathroom after all, but he couldn't. Not until the mad feelings, the scary ones, went away. Also her record for holding it was longer than his so she had ended up being just fine.

Everything had ended up being just fine.

Dad woke up and dragged him out of the bathroom, because it was not his personal bathroom and there were other people in the family besides him, and then he had just spent the whole day avoiding big sis. She had spent the day with dad in his office and he had spent the day with Fukuda in his office. He had wanted to spend the day with Shimazaki but he had to take a personal day because Fukuda had messed up his tattoos while he was healing him and he had to get them all retouched and redone. The whole thing took a very long time because of the colors and details and stuff. Sho had wanted to come with but he had to spend the day with Fukuda.

Because Fukuda had asked after him, specifically.

Fukuda said that he was a good helper. Fukuda said that things got done a lot faster when he was around. Fukuda said that it was nice to have someone he could have lunch with. Fukuda had been so nice to him…even though he shouldn't have been. Sho had wanted to make his own big sis bleed, wanted to hit her that hard, and he didn't deserve Fukuda being nice to him. That was why dad sent him away, too, because dad was ashamed of him. He had always been ashamed of him, Sho wasn't dumb he knew that big sis was dad's favorite, but now…now he knew that it was ok. The way dad felt about him.

Sho was ashamed of himself, too.

He was so ashamed of himself that he could barely eat his dinner. It was Japanese food, because they were in Japan, even though what really wanted was no food at all…and if he had to have food he would have made himself a jellybean sandwich…but instead he had to have a real dinner. They were with dad so they had to eat real food. Rice and fish and pickles and salad and also omelets because they were dad's favorite food.

With lots of ketchup.

That was something that people made fun of dad about. Well mostly Shimazaki. He said that dad smelled of ketchup all the time. He said that dad thought that ketchup was a food group. He said that dad was like a vegetarian vampire. He said a lot of funny things. Even after he had been healed up, when he should have been all sad and scared and stuff, he had been right back to saying funny things like…like he was fine. Even though things weren't fine and dad had beaten him up so bad…but everyone acted like things were fine. Fukuda acted like things were fine and Shimazaki acted like things were fine and even dad, the guy who had beaten Shimazaki up in the first place, acted like things were fine. He even said that things were fine. He said that Shimazaki had learned his lesson and now things could go back to normal.

Sho was having trouble getting back to normal.

Even now things were not normal. He was sitting at the table eating dinner with his family but things were not normal. He kept on looking at dad. He was…scared…even though he knew that dad would never punish him that badly. That was the punishment for liking big sis and Sho, of course, was not going to like his own sister like that. That was wrong, very wrong, even more wrong than Shimazaki liking someone as boring as her. Sho would never be on the other side of that punishment…even if he knew that dad was capable of doing that to people who were on his side….

"Daughter. Don't reach across the table. It's rude." Said Dad. Sho jumped, a little, when he started talking. Dinner had been silent. There was nothing to say. Sho didn't know what he was supposed to say. He was…he was still mad at big sis…and he was still mad at dad…but the person that he was most mad at was himself.

"Pass the soy sauce, please." Said big sis. She was sitting across from him at the table. They were having dinner now. He had moved his chair far from hers so that he couldn't hurt her. She was even too far away for him to kick her under the table. Not that he wanted to. She hadn't done anything to make him upset lately…well she had gotten Shimazaki beat up because she liked him….but he was trying not to think about that.

"Here." Said Sho. He passed the soy sauce with his powers. He didn't want to get close enough to her that he might hit her…because that was wrong. He didn't know where this had come from, how he was always two steps away from hitting her or someone else but mostly her, but he did know that he didn't like it.

"Do it by hand next time." Said dad. He was scrolling through his phone. He didn't even look up. Sho tried not to look at him. He wasn't usually like this around dad, not unless he had just been punished, but being like this was better than being mad…even though he was kind of mad. Mad enough to take his plate and smash it into dad's head and-

"I don't mind." Said big sis. He put his hands behind his back and pressed his back against his chair. He could have used his powers to…but he wouldn't. He was not going to be that sort of person…more so than he already was. He was…he had been such a bad person…and now…and now he just…he just wanted to be alone where he couldn't hurt anyone.

"Yes you do." Said dad. He still wasn't looking. He never looked at them…until he did. Until he looked at you and his eyes got all narrow and small and his aura got all mad and he just….Sho wanted to close his eyes, he wanted to cover his eyes, even though he was seeing what happened in his brain and not with his eyes.

"But I…yes dad." Said big sis. He loved her and he hated her. He wanted to hug her and he wanted to push her away. He wanted….he wanted a lot of things. It was like there were two different Sho's inside of him. One was good and the other was bad. The bad Sho always tried to take over…even now. Who was dad to tell them how they felt? How could he just-

Stop it.

Sho stabbed his fish with his chopsticks. He kept one hand behind his back and stabbed his fish with the other. This helped. He hated that this helped but it did help. He hated how he felt, how he was, and who he was. He wanted to be better, he wished that he could have been better, but he was not better. He was terrible. He was the worst. He was the worst little brother and the worst son….he was so bad that dad was even sending him away on the Seasoning City mission….and dad had never sent him away before…

"Sho, it's already dead." Said big sis. He knew that it was already dead. He had eyes. He could see that this piece of fish was dead and now he was supposed to eat it even though it wasn't cooked and he knew that people ate raw fish but mom had never fed them raw fish, she always fried it and stuff, but he was supposed to like raw fish but he liked mom's fish and he wanted mom and big sis was not mom and mom was gone and now dad wanted him gone and he should have been gone and-

"Chopsticks are not a stabbing implement. Eat properly or don't eat at all. The decision is your own." Said dad. Sho felt his chopsticks get yanked out of his hand. They laid themselves down across his plate. Dad was looking at him now. Big sis was looking at him now…and it was too many people looking at him.

He didn't want people to be looking at him like that.

"I'm going to go eat dinner with Fukuda." Said Sho. He didn't wait. He just picked up his plate and took it with him. That was all that he could do. At least Fukuda still wanted him around and at least he couldn't hurt Fukuda, not really, because he healed fast. He didn't want to sit there with dad on one side of him and big sis on the other and all of them looking at him and-

-and he left.

He slipped his shoes on and walked down to Fukuda's house. He didn't like far away. Dad had made this neighborhood for Claw members. This was different than the houses in the middle of nowhere they stayed at. This was Tokyo and there were normal people around…and they made Sho feel weird…so he walked faster. Fukuda didn't live far, dad didn't let him, so the walk wasn't very long at all. He hadn't even dropped his plate or anything.

So it was a good walk.

He used his powers to let himself in. Fukuda said that Sho could let himself in at any time of the day or night. He said that his door was always opened for Sho. It was locked for everyone else, Fukuda said that most of Claw was made up of dumb and annoying people, but it was opened for Sho. So that was why he let himself in, slipped off his shoes, and then sat down on at Fukuda's table like he owned the place…which he sort of did since dad owned all of these houses. He sat down and just…sat. He wasn't hungry but he knew that he had to eat or he'd die of starvation. He knew that he had to eat since he had come all the way here and if he didn't eat then he was just barging in for no reason at all. That would have been weird and then Fukuda would have thought that he was weird and then he would have wanted Sho gone too and-

"Hey. I thought I felt you coming." Said Fukuda as he came into the kitchen. His hair was wet and he was wearing pajamas. Sho saw a dirty plate and cup in the sink. Fukuda must have just finished dinner…and now he felt so out of place…and he wanted to go…but he wanted to stay, too.

"Can I eat dinner here?" asked Sho since, well, what else was he going to say?

"Sure. In fact I think I'll join you. That is if you don't mind me having dessert." Said Fukuda

"I don't mind." Said Sho. Fukuda got a bowl from the cabinet and then some ice cream from the fridge. Vanilla. The most boring of all flavors. Not even any toppings. Ick.

"What's that look?" asked Fukuda as he sat down.

"You're eating plain vanilla ice cream with no topping. It's so gross." Said Sho sticking his tongue out.

"How can plain vanilla be gross? It's the simplest of all flavors." Said Fukuda

"Because it's so plain. You aren't putting any chocolate or caramel or anything on it. Not even sprinkles." Said Sho

"You're right, this could use some sprinkles." Said Fukuda. He went over to the cabinet and got out a thing of sprinkles. Sho didn't know why he cared but he did. Fukuda had listened to him and talked to him and didn't make him feel dumb or try to boss him around or tell him that he was wrong and ridiculous and all of that other stuff.

It was nice.

"So…your dad picked dinner again?" asked Fukuda motioning to Sho's plate of food. Sho nodded. This was a dad meal. Fish and rice and pickles and salad and an omelet with ketchup. Dad food. Sho would have rather had jellybeans and fried chicken, or cheese sticks and fried tofu, or cereal and caramel sauce.

"Yeah. Well he and big sis did. He asks her what she wants for dinner and then she just says that she'll eat whatever he wants and then that's how they decide." Said Sho. Nobody ever asked him. Well big sis did when dad wasn't around but when dad was around it was like he didn't even matter.

"I'm sorry that they didn't include you." Said Fukuda

"It's fine. I know how things are." Said Sho

"How are they?" asked Fukuda. Sho sighed. How could he not know? He had known dad since they were kids, Fukuda had said, and he knew how dad was. How dad only liked people who were like him. Sho didn't know why he'd even been born. Dad had already gotten big sis. He didn't need another kid…well he needed a boy. That was all. If big sis had been born a boy then dad wouldn't have had him at all. That was the only reason why he had even been born, because she was a girl, and if he had been born a girl then dad would have gotten rid of him a long time ago…or like how he was trying to do now…because he had picked Sho to go on the Seasoning City trip…

All alone. Without the family.

"Fine. Normal. Everything is normal." Said Sho. Things were normal. He was normally a jerk so that was normal and big sis was normally bossy so that was normal and dad was normally mean so that was normal too. Everything in his life was normal, the most normal, plain vanilla ice cream normal.

"I mean…how have things been with you. You've been pretty shook up since what happened." Said Fukuda

"I'm fine. I'm the most fine. I'm normal. I'm a jerk and I've always been a jerk and I always will be a jerk so I'm normal." Said Sho. He took his chopsticks and stabbed his fish. He stabbed and stabbed and stabbed as he spoke. He stabbed until his fish totally fell apart and then all that was happening was him scratching up his plate.

His chopsticks were taken from his hand.

He took his hands and put them behind his back. What had he been doing? He had been…been stabbing his fish…but it was dead so it didn't matter…but he had been a jerk. He had even been a jerk to his own dinner! And now Fukuda was getting up and now he was going to leave Sho all alone and maybe he should have been all alone and maybe everyone in the world would have been better off without him and-

A fork was put in his hand.

"Chopsticks aren't for stabbing. Try this, it'll work better." Said Fukuda. Sho took his other hand from behind his back and wiped his eyes. Then he put it behind his back and went back to stabbing. He stabbed his salad and his rice and his pickles and his salad and his plate and then food got everywhere but Fukuda didn't try to stop him so he just kept on stabbing and stabbing and stabbing until his plate broke in half.

Fukuda didn't say anything.

He just took the two halve of his plate and put them in the trash. Then he got some cleaner, a roll of paper towels, and he cleaned up the table. Sho watched him. He felt….better. Sort of tired, sort of….foggy….but not mad anymore. Still sad. Still upset with himself for being a jerk but not….but not as mad…

But he had still been acting like a jerk.

"Well somebody doesn't like fish." said Fukuda with a laugh. He just…laughed…like it was nothing. Even though Sho had wasted food and broken a plate and lost control of his feelings. Fukuda just laughed like…like the whole thing was nothing….

"It…it's not that I don't like fish it's that….Fukuda? Do you…do you like yourself?" asked Sho. Fukuda was someone how could talk to about anything. He had said so. Fukuda said that he would be there for Sho no matter what just like he had been there for mom no matter what. He and mom had been best friends, Sho remembered, and that…that was sort of like…like having a piece of mom there with him. Kind of like how he had Mukai's little baby sock tucked away with his stuff for when wanted to feel like he was near her. He missed mom so much….and Fukuda had said that it was ok to miss his mom. To still love his mom. Fukuda missed mom too, he had said, and he still thought about her all the time, too. He didn't think that she was a traitor. Sho…didn't know what to think.

About mom and about how long it took for Fukuda to answer the question.

Sho watched him as he cleaned the rice and stuff up off the floor. That might have been what had been making him take so long to answer. His aura was calm and his face was….not so calm…but he wasn't mad at Sho or anything. Fukuda could never be mad at him. He swore on his life that there was nothing in this world that Sho could do to ever make him upset.

He eventually finished cleaning up the floor.

"Sho….that's a very complicated question. I like…some aspects of myself but not others." Said Fukuda slowly. He sat back down and picked at his ice cream. It was starting to melt. Sho wondered why he didn't just eat it already. It felt weird sitting at a table with nobody eating anything. Sho wanted to tell him to eat. He wanted to tell him to eat or just…just say something….because there was a lot of quiet then…and Sho didn't like it and he didn't know what to do with it.

"Do you ever….do you ever think about doing things that are….bad?" asked Sho. He wasn't big sis. He knew that it was his turn to talk. He knew that he need to talk so he talked. He got right to it. What he wanted to know. Fukuda wasn't dad. He could talk to Fukuda and not have to worry about getting hit. Fukuda was a lot nicer than dad.

He wished that Fukuda had been his dad.

"I've done a lot of things that I'm not so proud of in my life but…but that's normal. We all have regrets." Said Fukuda slowly. He looked down at his ice cream as he said that. Sho wondered if he was going to put it back in the freezer. It was soft serve, now, but it would turn to soup very soon.

"It's not something that I did that's….that's making me want to stab things. It's…I was thinking about…about doing something very bad and…and I had to hide in the bathroom to stop myself. I had to hide in the bathroom because if I didn't then I was going to do it and I don't want….I don't want to be that kind of person." Said Sho

"Sho….whatever you were going to do couldn't be that bad-" said Fukuda

"I wanted to beat big sis up so bad that she bled….like dad did to Shimazaki…or like he does to traitors. I wanted to do that so bad because….because she made him get beat up and-" said Sho

"Sho. No. First of all he had his part to play in all of that. She may have had feelings for him but he was wrong to return them and he was wrong to let your father know that he had those feelings for her and, yes, your father….he was and was not wrong in what he did….but Shimazaki largely brought it on himself. Your sister….she should not have had feelings for him but-" said Fukuda

"But she said that she didn't! She lied to me! She told me that she never liked him in the first place even though I knew that she did! She told me that she thinks that he's annoying and stuff and that she never wanted him to talk to her and touch her and stuff but she never made him stop! Like she expects me to believe that? He's the coolest guy ever! He's good at making forts and thinking up games and pranks and he's good at fighting and he's super strong, too, even without his powers and he has a bunch of cool tattoos and his powers are cool too! Like he can-" said Sho. He stood up in his chair and Fukuda put a hand on his shoulder. Sho felt himself getting red and he sat down. Right. He had gotten way too excited.

"Sho…she shouldn't have lied to you like that. When people make mistakes then the best thing to do is to own up to them and deal with the consequences. She's old enough to take responsibility for her actions. I agree with you. She should not have been telling lies like that." Said Fukuda. He was looking at Sho now. The ice cream in front of him was becoming the softest serve that Sho had ever seen. Some of the sprinkles were starting to float. Fukuda didn't mind.

He thought that what Sho had to say was more important than ice cream.

"Yeah, she shouldn't have lied. She likes him and she should just admit it….and he likes her too…and it sucks but at least he admitted it….even if I don't know why he likes her…but at least I didn't have to beat him up…because I didn't really want to. I wanted to beat her up but…but I didn't want to beat him up. Even though he likes my sister and that's what you're supposed to do when a guy likes your sister. You're supposed to beat him up and stuff. Even though I have no idea why he would like someone as boring as her. She can't even build a decent couch fort." Said Sho. Fukuda was looking at him, still, but now there was something else to it…something that Sho had never seen before.

"Sho….how do you feel about him?" asked Fukuda. That was a weird question. Shimazaki was awesome and Sho wanted to be his best friend. He had said so before.

"I already told you. He'd the coolest guy ever and I want us to best friends. I want us to hang out all the time and have fun all the time and be best friends and stuff. You know that." Said Sho. Was Fukuda getting forgetful? His birthday had just passed after all. Sho had told him and told him and told him how awesome Shimazaki was. Also Fukuda could see it for himself.

"You told me that you wanted to be his best friend but…how does he make you feel?" said Fukuda. Sho blinked.

"I don't get it." Said Sho. He felt like he wanted to be Shimazaki's best friend. What else was there to it? He wanted to be his friend so he tried to be his friend but then he got all nervous because if he said or did anything dumb then Shimazaki wouldn't want to be his friend anymore. It was simple.

"Just how do you feel when you're near him? That's all." said Fukuda

"That's a weird question. I feel the way I always have when I want to be best friends with someone. I feel all nervous and I don't know what to say because if I mess up then he won't want to be best friends with me anymore. I get all hot and full of energy and I try to do stuff so he thinks that I'm cool and stuff and he wants to hang out with me and be best friends. How else are you supposed to feel when you want to be best friends with someone? You know what it's like. You and mom used to be best friends." Said Sho

"Your mother and I…it was different between your mother and I." said Fukuda. He looked away from Sho and started to eat his ice cream now. It had turned into sprinkles soup but maybe that was the way he liked it. Dad ate weird stuff, too. He put ketchup on everything. He put it on his tempura and his omelets and his fries and his salad and also he dipped his bread in it, sometimes, as a midnight snack…and Sho had thought for the longest time that he had dreamt that until he caught him doing it again last week.

"Yeah, that makes sense. She's a girl and all…and also you knew dad first….and also don't tell dad I was talking about mom. I guess that you wanted to be best friends with dad, then, because you knew him since you guys were kids and stuff…not that I even know what you wanted to be best friends with him. He's so bossy. Your best friend shouldn't be bossy. He should know how to have fun and have good ideas but he should never boss you around. Shimazaki never bosses me around. He even says that some of my ideas are good, like when we switched the salt and the sugar in the cafeteria, or when we moved all of those wet floor signs-" said Sho

"Sho….your father and I have a very complicated relationship…and also you should not have done that with the wet floor signs. You…you're just a kid and you didn't think it through but a lot of people got hurt that day." Said Fukuda

"Oh….I'm sorry. I didn't think of all the extra work that would have made for you. I just thought that it would be funny to watch people fall down and Shimazaki agreed. He said that I had great ideas." Said Sho. Shimazaki had said that and then he'd patted him on the head…and now Sho was remembering that…and his face was all red now…and he didn't even know why. What did he have to be nervous about? It was just a memory.

"It's not about the work just…it's dangerous and don't ever do that again. He was wrong to encourage you to do that, alright?" said Fukuda

"Alright….we won't do stuff like that anymore….but I know what you're going to say next. You're going to try and tell me not to be friends with him just like dad told me not to be friends with him. He's not a bad influence like dad said. We have a lot of fun together. He's….he's really cool." Said Sho. He was playing with his shirt, now, because he needed to do something with his hands. His powers were making the table rise up a little bit off the ground…and he didn't get it. He almost never lost control of his powers when he was mad…but now he wasn't mad. He was…nervous. Nervous and happy at the same time…which was a lot better than being sad and mad. He knew talking to Fukuda would make him feel better.

"Ok, ok, I get it. You think that he's cool and you want to be…best friends…with him. Do you want to be…best friends…with anyone else?" asked Fukuda

"No. Just him. Shibata's nice too but he's always picking me up and telling me that I'm adorable and stuff like I'm a baby or something. I mean he's good at throwing me in the air and he can push me so hard on the swings that I go over the bar but I don't want to be best friends with him. Just Shimazaki." Said Sho

"It must have been hard for you, then, knowing that the person you want to be best friends with liked your sister in that way." said Fukuda. Sho felt his heart sink down into his feet. Right. That. He had almost been able to forget about that…but now he remembered…and it had been hard. What did he see in her? He was fun and she wasn't.

"I don't want to talk about it…but it was hard. It…it hurt kind of…that he would like her back. She's so boring. She doesn't know how to do fun stuff…and she lied to me, too, which she shouldn't do because we're brother and sister and we shouldn't lie to each other. She just….lied and said that she didn't like him. I know that she did. She has every reason to. He's the coolest guy ever…and I guess that because she was lying to me…and also because she had gotten him beaten up…it just made me so mad and I…I didn't even do anything. I didn't hit her but…but I still feel worse than I have ever felt in my life…because I wanted to beat her up so bad…." Said Sho. Fukuda put a hand on his shoulder. Suddenly he was covered in a green aura. He wasn't hurt, his body wasn't, but Fukuda still helped him feel so much better….

"That sounds pretty hard. The whole things sounds like it was pretty hard for you. Seeing someone who you care so strongly about getting hurt. Knowing that…knowing how strongly that person felt for your sister…and knowing how strongly you felt about them. That's a lot of feelings to have at once. Sho, you shouldn't hit people, and you should always apologize if you do, but you also should never hit someone as hard as your father does…or as many times…or in the same way. Your mother would not have wanted that." Said Fukuda

"Yeah, I know that mom wouldn't have wanted me to….that's why I hid in the bathroom! I know that she would hate me if she saw me now and-" said Sho. He wanted to hit Fukuda, and he did, but only once. Fukuda caught his arm and looked….mad?

Oh no….

"No. I never want you to say that again. Your mother loved you. She loved you then and she loves you now. She loves you and…and even if you had beaten Shigeko as badly as your father beats people, to within an inch of her life, your mother would not have hated you. She loves you more than anything else in the world. Even though she's far away she loves you…and even if she left you she loves you…." Said Fukuda. Sho pulled his arm away. He held his hands behind his back. He had to.

"If she loves me so much then where is she!? Why did she leave me!?" shouted Sho. He wished that he had been sitting on his legs, too, because he started to kick and…and he banging his leg against Fukuda's a few times…but then that was all of it, all that had happened…..because he stopped.

Mom would not have wanted him to hurt Fukuda like that.

"Sho…stop it. Just…your mother left because….because she had no choice. She did what she thought was best. She knew that she could not have been any mother to you if she had stayed-" said Fukuda

"Well she's no mom to me being gone, too." Said Sho…though he regretted it the instant he said it. Fukuda looked like he had been hit in the face.

"Your mother…she wanted to take you with her but…but she didn't know how to take care of you and…and she thought that you would have been better off being raised by your father. Because he's an esper and because…because she isn't. She had no idea how she was going to take care of you and…and that's why she left you." Said Fukuda

"Fukuda…did mom tell you that she was going to leave?" asked Sho. No. Fukuda…he could not have known. If he had known then he would have stopped her. Then he would have told her what a bad idea that was. That was what best friends did, they told you when you had a bad idea, like how Shimazaki told him that it would have been a bad idea to soap the staircase even though people falling down the stairs would have been funny. They had wanted to laugh at people, not kill them, he said. He told Sho that he had a bad idea just like Fukuda should have told mom that leaving would have been a bad idea.

"Your mother…she…she never told me that she was planning on leaving but…but I know her and…and I can speak for the…the way that she would think. I know her and….and I know that she loves you." Said Fukuda. Sho let out a long breath. That…that made him feel better and also not better. Mom…mom hadn't told him that she was planning on leaving. That was good…but she also hadn't said with her own mouth in her own words that she loved him…

But Fukuda knew mom. He knew how she felt.

"Ok." Said Sho after a while because, well, he had nothing else to say to that. Ok.

"I know you, too. I know how hard it's been on you. I know that out of everyone else in your family your mother leaving…it hurt you the hardest. She really loved you and you loved her and…and I know how hard these past few years have been on you. I know how hard they've been and…and I am truly sorry." said Fukuda

"…yeah. It is…hard. It's been hard." Said Sho. He didn't know why he suddenly felt the corners of his eyes prickling. It was pretty hard. The whole thing was pretty hard. He knew it and…and he didn't need someone else to tell him things that he already knew.

"You've been very brave, all of these years, and I…I'm proud of you. Of the person you've become. There are some things about yourself that I know that you're not happy with, I know that you're upset about how you…you feel about your sister…how you felt about her the other day….but I also know that you're a good person. You didn't hit her. Wanting to do something and doing it…those are different things. You didn't cross that line, you saw the line and you didn't cross it, and I am so proud of you-" said Fukuda. He would have said more, probably, but Sho had something to say. It just came out. He couldn't help it. He felt it and he just had to say it.

"I wish you were my dad." Said Sho. Fukuda closed his eyes and shook his head. Sho knew that he shouldn't have said that, how dad would have broken him into a million pieces if he heard Sho talking like that, but that was how he felt. In his whole nine and a half years of life dad had never once said anything so nice to him.

"Sho, no. You shouldn't say things like that. You have a dad and he loves you…in his own way…" Fukuda

"I don't want him to love me in his own way. I want him to love me in the way you love me. I don't even think that he loves me. He's never nice to me, not like you are, and…and he doesn't even want me around. That's why…that's why he's sending me on the Seasoning City mission. He's going to send me away and then he's going to leave and then when I come back I'll be living here all alone and working with the mission squad and-" said Sho

"Sho. No. You have got it so wrong…not to be mean but you are so wrong." Said Fukuda

"Then why is he sending me away?" asked Sho. He knew dad. He wasn't clueless like big sis. He knew dad and he knew that dad was going to send him away so he could get rid of him permanently. Then it would just be him and big sis like he had always wanted.

"Sho…I asked for you to be included. I told your dad that it would be best if you came with." Said Fukuda. Sho…was confused. Why? He had never gone on any missions with Fukuda before…or anyone. Dad sent other people on missions…and also he had no idea what he was supposed to even do….because he had never been on a mission before!

But Fukuda had been the one to tell dad to bring him….

"I don't get it. Why? I've never been on a mission before. I'm not even a part of Claw, not really, because I don't have a rank or-" said Sho

"Sho, I asked him to bring you with because…because I thought that you would have a good time. You don't have to do anything. Me and the others are just going to see what's making the new Awakened so…well…not smart. You just…have fun. I mean you and I will have fun. I want to show you Seasoning City, Sho." said Fukuda

"Why? What's in Seasoning City that's fun? Tokyo is fun. There's Disney Land…but that's getting kind of boring since we spent a whole week in there before…but there's the parks and the zoos and the arcades and the-" said Sho

"Your dad and I grew up in Seasoning City and I just…wanted to show it to you. There are parks there, not Disney parks but some cool ones, and there are other places too. There's this breakfast place we used to go to and the manga shop and also….also a few other places." Said Fukuda. Sho tried to imagine it, him and dad as kids, but he couldn't. It was like the time he and big sis had found dad's old toys in the Treasure Room. It was sort hard to imagine him as just being a normal kid…and Fukuda too…

But he wanted to.

"I…I'd like that. It sounds fun." Said Sho. It did, it really did, and….and he would be away from dad and big sis…and if he was away from them then he wouldn't be mad…and if he didn't get mad then he wouldn't hurt anyone…

"Sho….I'm glad. We'll have so much fun. I'll show you the spot in the woods where we'd hang out and bury things for the future….if it's still there. I'll show you the park we used to hang out in and….and the house I grew up in and…and also…your sister will be there. Mukai, I mean. She lives in Seasoning City. Remember? I told you that already?" asked Fukuda

"Yeah…but you also said that it would be years and years before she got…situated." Said Sho. His heart hurt. He missed her so much. Even if she was a crayon eater he missed her….and now he could see her….and he felt…good and bad at the same time….

"She's a smart kid, she adjusted pretty fast. I bet she misses you. I bet she misses her big brother." Said Fukuda. Sho shook his head.

"Pretend. We were just pretending that we were brother and sister." Said Sho. He knew that she wasn't his sister. She was just a person who looked a lot like him. She was just a baby who he loved and looked after like a little sister. That was all. She was just the best baby in the whole world and he missed her so much and….and he wanted to see her more than anything else in the world.

"….right. Pretend. You know…that's actually the biggest reason why I wanted to…to bring you with. So you could see her again. I know how much she misses you…and how much you miss her. You can see her but listen, ok? You cannot tell your dad or your sister about this. Your dad…he doesn't want you to visit her because…um…." Said Fukuda

"He's a jerk and he wants everyone to be miserable." Said Sho. There. Fukuda should have known that. He had known dad for years. He should have agreed, too, instead of just shaking his head like that.

"No…he just…ok. So you know how you and your sister need bodyguards when you go out? Because people are always trying to kill you? Well he doesn't want that for the baby. He wants her to have a normal life and that's why he doesn't want people to know that he knows her. He just wants to keep her safe. You understand, right? That she could be in danger if people know that I'm taking you to visit her? That I could be in danger, too, for disobeying your dad? Do you understand?" asked Fukuda. He had his hand on Sho's shoulder and he was looking him right in the eyes. Sho…he knew how much big sis missed baby sis but…but he didn't want baby sis to be in danger…

"Yeah, I get it. Don't tell anyone. I can keep a secret." Said Sho. He could and he would. He felt so much better now. He knew that coming to see Fukuda would make him feel better. He had something to look forward to and…and it was so nice just to have someone listen to him and…and stuff. To have someone who listened to him and didn't tell him that he was being dumb or whatever. That was the best thing ever.

Well the best thing ever would be seeing Mukai again being near her…being her big brother again.

Even if he had to keep it a secret from big sis.