Sho had ridden on a train before.

Sometimes they took trains but not that often. Dad didn't like being around normal people. Sho didn't like it either. Being surrounded by normal people. He spent most of his time around espers. Sure he went places but he was usually with big sis. He wasn't sure what to do. There were people all around him and they had no auras and…and it was kind of weird. He was between Fukuda and another guy, Higashio, so at least there were auras on either side of him. Across from him was a guy called Ootski. They worked with Fukuda a lot. They were sort of like his friends.

He hadn't known the Fukuda had friends.

But he did. They all worked together and they were all going to go with him on this mission and…and that was ok. Sho was near people he didn't know all the time. He'd spent half his life at Disney Land after all….big sis had better not go without him…and he knew how to be around strangers. Even though he had never been out in the world with nothing but a bunch of strangers before…but also Fukuda. He had never been out in the world with just Fukuda before…but now he was…and he was fine. He wasn't scared or worried or nervous or anything.

He was kind of hot, though.

He had to wear long pants and a long sleeved shirt. Because of his scars. Sometimes he could get away with wearing a short sleeved shirt when he was out in the world, the scars on his arms weren't nearly as bad as the scars on his legs and back, but Fukuda said that they shouldn't take any chances. So he had to wear long pants and a long shirt even though it was summer. He also had to wear sunscreen on his face and neck even though Fukuda could easily have healed his sunburns.

Big sis worried about nothing.

She had been all worried about him. She had put sunscreen on him before he left and she had packed him money and snacks and also even tried to pack him a sweater even though it was summertime. She could be so weird sometimes. Everything could be so weird sometimes. Like how he felt. He had been away from her before, they didn't spend every moment of their lives together, but he had never been this far away from her before. He would be gone for days and days…and he didn't know what he was going to do. He had never slept away from her before. Sometimes she slept with dad but they were always in the same house. Now he was going to have to be away from her…and they had been together for the whole nine and a half years that he had been alive…

He felt weird.

He was excited. He was going to see Baby Mukai! He had his sketchbook in his lap and a pencil in his hand. He really needed to draw her something. She deserved it. She was the best baby sis in the world and she deserved a new drawing just for her…but he had no idea what he should draw. He was just making lines now. He was just putting his pencil to the paper and making lines in the hopes that they would come together to become something that she would like. It was like if he just made enough lines they would turn into a drawing but making lines wasn't helping and now he was just making a mess and he needed to start over but he had already started over twice so maybe he just sucked and she wouldn't even like his drawing and then he was just a bad artist and she wouldn't ever want a drawing from him again and then he would feel bad about himself and he didn't want to feel bad about himself and-

A hand on his arm. A green aura over his.

"Looks nice." Said Fukuda as he tried his best to calm Sho down. The little guy was getting himself upset…and Fukuda couldn't blame him. This was his first time being away from his family. They may have treated him poorly but he was still a nine year old boy away from his dad and sister for the first time. No wonder he was getting so mad at his sketchbook.

But Fukuda could not allow him to get mad.

They were on a train. They were on a public train. There were people, normal people, on all side of them. He hadn't taken a car because he knew how Sho did on long car rides. They were worse for him than plane rides. At least on a train he could look out the window and stretch his legs. Plus he so rarely traveled by train. This would have been an interesting experience for him. Getting up and walking around. Looking out the window. All the stops that trains made.

Trains made a lot of stops.

And Sho had always had problems sitting still. It would have been a…tragic accident. Sho slipping away into the crowd. Fukuda going after him. Them getting off at some stop and then just…never being heard from again. Japan was a big county. People went missing every single day. It was something tragic that happened. There was nothing that anyone could do about it. Little boys went missing all the time. It happened. Suzuki would be upset but…well…he had his heiress. He had his heiress and he could always have another son. Yes. Sho would not be terribly missed.

They could figure out where to go later.

"No it doesn't." said Sho. He pulled his sketchbook up to his chest and faced out the window. The world was going by fast. They had just left that station. He didn't know how many stops it would be until they got there. Too many. Not enough. He had to get this drawing done for Mukai but he had no idea what to draw for her. She liked….she liked baby stuff. She liked shiny things and putting her arms in paper towel holders and sucking on her pacifier and people smiling at her and also movies with fighting…she really like that cauldron thing…maybe he should have drawn her something from that. She liked the part where the dead people came to life…

But she was just a baby.

He didn't want to scare her. She was just a little baby after all…but that was what she liked…but she had a mom now and her mom might not have wanted her to have drawings like that. He didn't know her mom at all, though, so he had no idea what she would have liked for Mukai to have. He didn't know much about moms in general since his had left…and stuff…

Where was mom?

He pressed his forehead against the cold window. She could have been anywhere. She could have been at any of these stops. She liked trains. He remembered that she had met dad at the train station, she had said, and that they had fallen in love right there and decided to get married and have kids. She also liked to take him to the playground by the train station. They had spent all day there once…when he had been little….but she probably wasn't anywhere near here. She was gone and he should have just accepted that she was gone instead of looking out the window and expecting every single brown haired lady to be his mom.

Maybe he should just draw her…but not for Mukai…just to draw her.

But he didn't get the chance to draw anything. His sketchbook was taken off of his lap. He knew that it was Fukuda. Those other two were talking to each other about boring adult stuff that he didn't care about. Fukuda cared about him, though, and his drawings. He didn't steal them like dad did. He just flipped through his sketchbook but also always gave it back.

"Well I think that it's a very good drawing. What is it? The wind passing us by?" asked Fukuda. He could not let Sho get upset. When he got upset the only thing to do was let him burn out. He was like a little grease fire and they could not afford to have a grease fire right now. Ootski and Higashio would understand, of course, they knew what Suzuki could be like and Fukuda had given them the rundown of how Sho could be, but the rest of the world…not so much.

Sho was not a demon child.

That was what Shigeko's entourage called him, and they were Shigeko's and not Suzuki's since she had chosen them to follow her around and God only know what else, a shrieking demon child. Other names, too, and Fukuda had no idea how adults could be so callous towards a little boy. They knew that he'd had a very difficult life and they knew that he could not be held responsible for how he was. Suzuki was not a good father and Fukuda…well he had failed Masami…and he would continue to fail her.

Since he had no clue where she even was.

"No….I don't even know. I was trying to draw something for baby sis but…but I couldn't think of what she would like. She likes that cauldron movie so maybe I should draw her something from that…or something." Said Sho. His face was still pressed up against the glass. He could have licked the window if he wanted to. He didn't know where he had gotten the idea from but he totally could…but that wouldn't solve any of his problems.

"Baby sister? You have a younger sister?" asked Higashio catching the tail end of that conversation. He had been leaving the little boy alone. That was Suzuki's child and he had no idea how he was supposed to act. He had repaired some of the Suzuki children's toys in the past but he had never met them. He hadn't even seen either until Suzuki's Daughter's address to all of Claw…and how a little girl like her managed to run all of Claw was beyond him…

He had no idea how he was supposed to treat that little boy.

Fukuda had said that Suzuki's son had a lot of emotional problems. Nothing serious, just some anger issues, and he did not want to be on the other end of those anger issues. He had been on the other end of Suzuki's anger issues more than once. He knew, though, that the child was not the father. He may have looked like his father but there was a sort of…wistfulness….and melancholy to the child…

Poor little boy.

"She's an orphan that was left with Claw. An esper baby. Suzuki let her stay with his family while I looked for a home for the baby. That was what his leave of absence was about." Said Fukuda. Nope. Dangerous ground. He had told Sho not to call the baby his sister in public…but he was only nine after all. Fukuda couldn't fault him for that. He also knew that he was in no danger from these guys. They worked closely with him…on matters like these. Fukuda was the healer. Higashio could disassemble and reassemble objects. Ootski could repurpose energy. Together they could repair and rebuild an Awakening Lab.

Joy.

Masami would have hated him for the rest of his life if she knew that he was taking her son back to the sort of place that had….that had almost killed him. She would have hated him until the end of time if she knew that he had allowed her husband to…to torture her son until he got his full adult powers. She would have been fully within her rights to hate him…and he was ok with that. He loved her so much…and he missed her more than anything…but if she hated him then she hated him. Her hating him would at least mean that…that she knew why she should have hated him…which meant that she would have been in communication with him…

He had been trying to contact her in any way that he could. Nothing.

"So that's what that was about. I thought that the whole thing was a prank, honestly, do I do like the raise." Said Ootski. He bushed his bangs out of his eyes when he spoke. So that hadn't just been the Awakened playing a prank. They really had been at the mercy of a little girl. Good thing he had been halfway around the world at the time. He'd heard that it had been a real madhouse for about a month. He wondered why Suzuki had left his daughter in charge if he was still around.

But he didn't ask.

He knew Fukuda. He knew Fukuda about as well as anyone could know Fukuda. He was the man who knew all of Suzuki's secrets. Something was up with that baby…and this was the first he was hearing of a baby…but he was not about to go digging around in Suzuki's private business. He really did not like nosy people.

"It was real and it's over. A blessing in disguise, really, since now Suzuki sees how competent his kids are and we get to bring Sho with us for this mission." Said Fukuda trying to sound more cheery than he was. Another stop had passed. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. The trip would not be so long and…and he knew that he needed to make some decisions soon. As to what to do with Sho. Sho was…Sho was not doing well with Suzuki as a father…and he had promised Masami that he would bring Sho to her…

But he had no idea where she was. She could have been literally anywhere. She could have left the country for all he knew. She wasn't answering her phone, but he only had the number for the burner, and all of emails went unreplied to. She had moved since she had run away, too, since his letters had come back 'return to sender' and…and he had no idea what he was supposed to do.

He had made a promise.

"Yeah…I get to be here." Said Sho. He held his pencil in his hand. He didn't want to be there. He wanted…he didn't want to be back with dad but he didn't want to be there. He wanted…he didn't even know what he wanted. He had never been this far away from his family before…well mom had run away and dad had always been away for work…but it was still weird. He had never been this far away from big sis before, either, and he sort of missed her even though she was super annoying….but there was no point in being all upset and stuff…..because he wanted to be here.

He wanted to see baby sis.

He wanted to go to Seasoning City and see baby sis. He wanted to spend time with Fukuda…even if all of these other guys were also coming too….and he wanted to just…be happy. But he couldn't be. Even though he was far from dad and even though he…he should have been happy that dad wasn't there to be a jerk to him and big sis wasn't there to try and boss him around…he still felt so…he didn't even know.

His sketchbook was back in his lap.

"Why don't you draw her something that you would like to draw, not something that she would like you to draw?" asked Fukuda. They passed another stop. It had been a stupid idea. He could not just take Sho and drag him off the train. He would make a scene…and also he couldn't just hide Sho somewhere until he found Masami. She had found a way to disappear completely and never be found. If all of Suzuki's men hadn't been able to find her in three years then he wouldn't be able to just find her in an afternoon.

And Sho would want to know why they hadn't made it to Seasoning City.

Fukuda had no clue how he was supposed to explain to Sho what had happened between him and Masami. How he had been the one to help her escape and leave her family behind. How he had been the one to…to tell her to get out. Also everything else. Sho…he could never know the whole of it. He wouldn't be able to understand. He was nine and these things were so black and white to him. He was still at that age where he couldn't see that Masami and him…what they had done looked wrong from an outside perspective. Cheating was wrong but…but he'd loved her and Suzuki had been terrible to her…and it wasn't as though he had planned it out.

It had just happened.

They had picked the kids up and tucked them in and then….and then she had been about to see him out…and she had just looked so beautiful. So beautiful and so sad….and someone as beautiful as her should not have looked so sad…and then he had gotten closer and she had gotten closer and then…and then it just happened.

They crossed a line.

And Sho could never know that story or…or even a more sanitized version of it. He was too young to understand and he was too young to have all of that put on him, too. He was just a kid and…and he was too young for all of this. For any part of his life. He should have been at home with his mother. He should have been getting ready for his first day of fifth grade, not his first mission, and Fukuda…he wished that there had been some way that he could have gotten Sho to Masami. That he could have given Sho the life that he should have been living.

But there wasn't.

"Yeah, I guess." Said Sho. He put his pencil to the page and…and came up with nothing. For once in his life he had nothing to draw. Usually it was the opposite. Usually he had trouble getting all of his ideas to sit still. Usually his mind was just full of ideas and they were always pushing at each other to get to the front of the line like rude people at Disneyland. Usually he ended up starting two or three drawings at once and not being able to stop until all of his ideas had come out.

But not now.

Now the page was as blank as his mind…and he couldn't stand it. He had the pencil in his hand and he knew that he needed to draw something but he had no idea what. He knew that he needed to just…draw! To make pictures on the page…but he couldn't. His brain was too busy thinking about dad and big sis and baby sis and mom and how he was far from home and how he hadn't been home in so long and he just….he couldn't!

He scribbled.

He scribbled because he had to draw something. He scribbled and he scribbled and, distantly, he was aware that Fukuda was saying something to him but he had no idea what. He just kept on scribbling. It was like his hand had a mind of it's own. It was like his hand was trying to say something that his brain hadn't been clued in on. His brain couldn't get a clue….or maybe his hand couldn't get a clue…or something. He didn't know. All he knew was that he scribbled and scribbled as he went faster and faster and faster and he had to go faster still and it just happened and it made him feel both better and worse and-

And his page ripped.

He didn't think. He just threw his sketchbook. Even though he knew that he had to behave in public. Even though he knew that he was on a train surrounded by normal people. Even though he knew that he was acting like a baby he still threw his sketchbook…right at the guy across from him.

"Sho!" said Fukuda. Sho knew better than to….well he didn't. Fukuda reminded himself that Sho did not know any better. That he was just acting out because he had never been taught any better. Sho acted up and threw things all the time. He had been doing this since he had been little. Fukuda could not fault him for this.

"Thanks for the paper. I've been needing a new fan for a while." Said Ootski. He wasn't mad at the kid. He didn't much fancy having things thrown at him but he was the adult there and he was going to handle this with tact and grace. There was a piece of paper with a rip down the middle. He finished tearing it off and began to fold it into a fan. Fukuda was trying to talk Suzuki's son down now. Ooski had no clue if this was normal behavior from a child his age, he wasn't anyone's father uncle or brother, but he did know how to treat his coworkers and the kid was sort of like a coworker.

Tact and grace.

He sent a bit of energy at the kid. Enough to make a breeze. Now he was calmer. Good. He had no idea what had set him off but he had no idea how to deal with kids. The environment was probably overstimulating for him. Also Fukuda had said that he had emotional problems. Probably inherited from his father. Anyone with eyes could see that Suzuki was a little off.

"How'd you do that?" asked Sho. He wiped his eyes. Fukuda had been sort of mad at him. He had been telling him that it was ok to have big feelings like that but he was not back at the HQ. He couldn't just go around throwing things at people. Also they were on a train and if they made a scene they could get kicked off.

"I can harness energy and repurpose it. I mostly use paper fans to do so. Easier to carry around." Said Ootski

"You really should have asked him. Here, let me fix your drawing." Said Higashio. Ootski could be so clueless sometimes. He took the paper fan and put it back in the little boy's drawing book. He glanced around to make sure that nobody was looking and then he quickly restored the drawing book back to what it should have been. He closed it and handed it to the little boy.

Oh. So that was his name.

"Leader. I know you. I've fixed a few of your toys." Said Higashio as he handed 'Sho' back his drawing book. That was his given name. He had been calling him Suzuki-san this whole time. A tad bit confusing since his father was also Suzuki-san.

"It's the character for leader but I'm called Sho…and thanks for fixing my sketchbook. And I'm sorry that I threw it." Said Sho. He felt…bad….about what he did. He shouldn't have been getting upset and he shouldn't have been throwing things like a little kid, either, because he was not a little kid. He was nine and he was on his first mission and he just…should not have been acting like that.

"It's ok, Sho, as long as you're sorry it's ok." Said Fukuda. That had been…he felt like it had been close but he knew that there hadn't been any stakes at all. Sho was a little kid. Sometimes kids threw things. He couldn't help it. This was….this was fine and everything was fine and…and he let them pass the next stop. He wasn't going to take Sho away from…from this life he had been living. He wasn't going to deliver Sho to his mother.

He had no idea where she was.

Even if he did manage to get Sho away from everyone else there was nothing that he could do if Sho got upset. He couldn't even put up a barrier. He couldn't do anything to calm Sho down. Sho would get upset and then…and then it would all be over…and it couldn't even start since he had no clue where Masami even was!

Gone. She was gone.

"I won't." said Sho. He opened his sketchbook and felt…better…as he ran his fingers over the clean page. He felt a lot better and he didn't know why. Maybe because he hadn't hurt anyone. Maybe because nobody was mad at him. Maybe because…because he was far from the people who were usually mad at him…or afraid of him…or should have been afraid of him…

He was all alone now.

Alone but also surrounded by people. He was…he didn't know what to call this feeling. This feeling like he could finally just…breathe. It felt nice. He felt nice. He picked up his pencil and held it in his hand. He wanted…he wanted to draw…he wanted to draw what he wanted to draw. The person he wanted to draw most in the entire…the second person he wanted to draw most in the entire world. Not mom. He could barely even remember her face and Mukai didn't need a drawing of his mom, anyway because she had her own mom now.

He drew a picture of baby Mukai as he remembered her.

She had probable grown in the time they had been apart, babies grew fast he knew that much, but…but he knew that she would like this drawing just the same. Because he had drawn it for her. He would give it to her and then he would tell her that story of his first train ride without dad or big sis…and she would listen and smile her little bay smiles and maybe she would be able to crawl over to him and hold up her own head and…and then maybe they could play the game where she threw her socks…or maybe the one where they played with the cardboard paper towel roll holders…and she would smile and be happy…and he would be happy, too, because he had made his little sis….pretend little sis…happy.

That was all that he wanted, her happiness.

He spent the rest of the train ride drawing Mukai's picture.