Chapter Four

We sat in total silence for 10 minutes. According to the textbooks, silence during the first session is completely normal. I took in his body posture; his fists where clenched, his shoulders rigid, he avoided eye contact and he hadn't stopped bouncing his right leg since he sat down. It was clear that being in here was bringing up some bad memories. He shuffled in his seat and switched the bouncing to his left leg. I couldn't take the silence any longer and was about to say something when he beat me to it. "Are you going to try and kill me too?". He tried to sound tough and hard but he cracked on the word kill. I was surprised by his forwardness but I couldn't blame him for it. "No Liam..." I tried to sound as reassuring as I could. He leaned towards me as if he was trying to read my thoughts, trying to uncover any hidden agendas. Finally, he sank back into his chair and his shoulders relaxed a bit.

"Aren't you the woman that fell weirdly in the corridor this morning?" I let out a loud groan. "I wasn't there though, I just heard about it from a friend of a friend. He said that if anyone had recorded it and uploaded it on to the internet, it would have went viral!" he said, while trying to laugh. "I guess I lost my one chance at being famous then. Such a shame though, I would have gotten a robot that made me an endless supply of Belgian waffles and Oreo milkshakes!" He let out a chuckle. "That's actually a really good plan!" It was nice to see that he was feeling a bit more at ease. "Now, as much as I would love to talk about my embarrassing misfortunes and what I would do if I got famous, we have to address the reason that you're here..." I say while pulling out his file. He shifted around uncomfortably.

"So It says here that you've been part of the lacrosse team for the past 3 years, that's pretty impressive!" He gave me a smile. "Yeah, its one of my passions". I kept skimming through the rest and then finally found the reason why he was sitting in front of me. "And it seems like keying coaches' cars used to be another? You want to tell me about that?" I asked him softly. Observing the way he looked at me when I mentioned that situation, he was still holding on to that guilt and regret. It didn't take him long to start talking. "I know it wasn't the right thing to do but I couldn't help it. That's why my parents decided to pack up and move to Beacon Hills. A fresh start. After a while I was okay, I met some really cool people, I was doing well at school and lacrosse, I was happy. Until... Other things changed... I found myself in difficult situations... Life got complicated... I can't quite explain what happened...But I'm starting to lose control once again..." He kept his head down. I got up from my chair and took a seat next to him. As soon as I placed my hand on his shoulder, a shock went up my arm and I started feeling slightly lightheaded again. I tried my hardest to ignore it and kept my focus on the boy who was trying not to break down in front of me.

"Liam...". His shoulders started trembling and I heard him sniffle; he was crying. I managed to reached for the box of tissues and handed him one. "I'm so tired Miss R! I'm tired of feeling weak and helpless! There's so many expectations especially being a senior and I'm tired of letting everyone down! " Before I could process what was happening, he hit his fist hard onto my desk making me jump. He looked at me, eyes wide as he scrambled out of his chair and moved further away from me. "I-I-I'm so sorry, I d-d-didn't mean to..." Even he looked surprised at what he had done. "Liam, stop!" He was about to make a run for it but I couldn't let him leave in the state that he was in so I grabbed his arm. He tried to pull away from me and I had to muster ever ounce of strength I had to keep him from leaving. Liam slunk to the ground with his back against the wall and put his head in his hands sobbing uncontrollably.

I crouched down slowly facing him. "Hey, Liam, look at me." He slowly lifted his head, eyes swimming with guilt and clearly ashamed of what he'd done. I couldn't help it, I pulled him into a hug. His whole body was shaking and he returned it holding me tight, still crying. "You're okay, you're going to be okay" I said softly over and over again. The whole situation with Liam reminded me of how I was after my parents had passed away. An idea of how to help him popped into my head. All of a sudden, someone burst into my office. "Zel! Is everything okay?! Someone said they heard a loud bang!" Patrice was red in the face from running. Liam pulled away and started wiping his face. "Yes, perfectly fine Patrice! We were doing some bashing therapy, that's all!" I say smiling at her. Patrice didn't look completely convinced but she seemed to have bought it. I mean, technically I wasn't lying. "Okay, well I'll see you later then. Maybe next time try a more quieter therapy?" she suggested, before closing the door.

I turned my attention back to Liam. "How are you feeling?" I ask him. "How are you not afraid of me? I could have accidently hit you instead of the desk... Or worse..." he drifted off as if he was remembering something. I helped him up to his feet. "I'm pretty sure it couldn't get any worse than having your head bashed in" I say laughing lightly. "There's five more minutes left before you have to go back to class and I have this idea that we could try. Will you let me help you?" He nodded his head. "Great! Basically you have to find an outlet, something to help you express everything you're feeling. Everyone has their own unique way of doing it. For you I would have thought it would be lacrosse but I feel like now you need something more. I'm more than willing to share what works for me with you and no before you ask, it's not a feelings journal. Although that can be pretty helpful too." He motioned for me to go on. "When I was younger, my father started training me in the different fighting styles, I particularly enjoyed kick boxing and hand-to-hand combat which helped me feel like I was in control of my life somehow and plus I got to hit stuff, in a safe way. Maybe we can try that together? We'll meet on Saturday mornings here on the lacrosse field."

He looked very interested but then he pulled a face. "What if I hurt you by mistake?" I laughed at his question. "Hey, I'm stronger than I look! Besides I've been doing this since I was 7 years old. I'm just a little worried that I may hurt you!" I smirked at him. "Okay well I'm in!" he said enthusiastically. "Oh before I forget, we do need to have the lacrosse coach present on the day we train, do you know where I can find him?" "Their office is close to the boys gym lockers down by the field." I looked at him confused. "There's more than one coach?" He nodded, "Yeah, there's Coach Finstock , he's the main one in charge and can be a little... odd... Personally I would go with the other one, Scott McCall. He's a little more approachable."

The school bell rang indicating it was time for the next class or in my case, our counselling session was over. "We're friends now, so I'm calling you Zel too!" he said quickly while giving me a hug. I returned it, realizing that I somehow allowed myself to develop a sisterly love for this boy whom I've only just met. I never had many friends growing up; in Alaska we lived in a very closed off area, everyone kept to themselves and hated socializing. When I was with Gracie, we moved around so much that it was hard to maintain a proper friendship with anyone. But the one friend I did have was more than that, she was my sister. Our fathers were best friends and when they introduced us to each other, we instantly clicked. I was five at the time and she was six. We would send letters and emails to each other as often as we could as her family travelled a lot but when we were together, nothing could separate us. Having Liam call me his friend reminded me of friendship I had with her. What I wouldn't give to see her again...

I shut my office door, staggered towards my desk and collapsed into my chair. I could feel every single pain and ache return to my body. I was completely exhausted and I didn't have any energy to go back and answers Gracie's message but I took it off silent. I know she's going to kill me when I get home. My mind wondered back to the shock I felt when I touched Liam's shoulder. That jolt felt familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it. I moved my hands to my lower back to message the sore spot. That's when it hit me, I had felt a similar shock when the guy from earlier on helped me up! A loud thud against my door pulled me from my thoughts. I quickly checked my schedule to find that Liam was the only appointment I had today. I got up to go investigate. As I got closer, I could hear whispers coming from the other side of the door. "I'm pretty sure we are going to get arrested for doing this". "We won't, I am the law!" Before I could open the door to see who the voices belonged to, I felt a sharp pain piercing through my mind and I passed out.