Get On The Show!
Author's Note: Hey there, folks! L1701E here! It's been a while since I did a Misfit fic, I know. However, I managed to get myself some inspiration at last with the help of talk shows. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: All characters belong to me, Red Witch, and others, including Marvel Comics. Enjoy! Oh, and here's your quote: "Take me! I'm old!" – C. Montgomery Burns, the Simpsons.
Malibu Base
Malibu Base, an Army base located in California, was the home of the team of elite soldiers known as the Malibu Joes. These soldiers also had charges. The charges were a team of young mutants known as the West Coast Misfits. Three of them were lounging about in the West Coast Misfit Manor, their headquarters, watching TV.
"Man, I can't believe how stupid some of these people are." A lion-like kid laughed, dressed in a Van Halen shirt and acid-washed blue jeans. His chocolate brown eyes shone with happiness, and his shoulder blade-length brown hair with black tips resembled a lion's mane. His right eye had a birthmark over it of a blue eight-pointed star with longer cardinal points. His hands were covered by a pair of fingerless black biker gloves and wrists decorated with several wild-patterned bracelets. He was Ace Starr, a feral mutant with enhanced abilities, a healing factor, and the ability to fire blue laser beams from his claws. He was called Wildstar.
"Yeah, I'm, like, totally with you there, man." A tall, skinny, blond kid grinned, his voice containing a bit of a Valley Girl-style accent. He was wearing Oakley aviator shades over his eyes, and he was dressed in a white shirt with a loud Hawaiian shirt over it. He also had on khaki surfer shorts. He was Jack McCormick, a mutant codenamed Beast King for his ability to transform into any member of the animal kingdom.
"Makes for good entertainment, though." A tall, muscular brown-eyed Native American kid shrugged. He was dressed in a black t-shirt with blue jeans. His shoulder-length black hair was kept out of his face by a red headband. He was John Proudstar, a powerhouse Apache mutant codenamed Thunderbird. He was the team's resident strongman/superathelete, who was capable of lifting two tons, and running at speeds up to 35 mph for very long periods of time thanks to his superhuman endurance. Not to mention he could take a beating thanks to having denser skin. The three young mutants were sitting on the couch, watching the greatest TV talk show of all time: Johnny Stringer.
"Actually, John…" Ace started. "I was going to say that people should be smart enough not to get into those situations in the first place." A blonde-haired woman walked by behind the couch, and noticed the three. She was codenamed Kicker, a ninja-trained Joe. She was the 'den mother' of the West Coast Misfit team. She looked at the TV.
"What is that?" She pointed at the screen, showing two brawling guys being separated by black-shirted and blue-jeaned security guards.
"John-ny! John-ny! John-ny! John-ny!" The audience chanted.
"Johnny Stringer." Ace snickered.
"This show rocks." John laughed. "Hey look, that was a nice uppercut!"
"Ooh, man!" Terrell grinned. "The guy's a kung fu man!"
"Boys, that show is so mindless." Kicker shook her head and crossed her arms.
"Mindless is good." Ace nodded. "Mindless is very good."
"It's either or some stupid little kids' show with cheap Kermit the Frog ripoff puppets." John grumbled. Kicker, Ace, and Jack looked at him like he had just turned yellow and sprouted a giant starfish from his back. "What?" John blinked. "What? I like Kermit!" The Apache powerhouse glared at the two mutants and the blonde ninja. "Don't tell me none of you don't like Kermit!"
"…I like Kermit." Ace blinked.
"…Me too." Jack added.
"…I loved the Muppet Show as a kid." Kicker nodded. She then looked at the TV, which showed a guest blasting another with a ray gun. She shook her head. "Whatever. Look, boys. Maybe you should find something better to watch." The three boys blinked at her, then turned back to the TV. The screen showed one guest smashing a chair across the back of another.
"Nah." The two boys answered in unison. Kicker sighed.
"Oh, you three…" The blonde shook her head. "Just try to find something good on. And if there isn't, find something constructive to do." She left the room.
"Hey, look…" John pointed at the screen.
"Are you a man who is dating multiple women at the same time? If so, call us and tell your story at 555-JONNY." The TV ad inquired. John and Jack blinked and looked at Ace.
"What?" Ace looked at the two. "Why are you two looking at me like that?"
"This is you, dude." Jack grinned. "That is so you."
"What're you talking about, Valley Boy?" The young feral crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes.
"Come on, Ace. You date four girls at once!" John shook his head. "That's not normal."
"Coming from the man who dates no girls?" Ace responded. John groaned.
"Gimme a break." John grumbled, crossing his arms.
"Dude, you gotta admit, having four girls chasing after you…" Jack shook his head. "That's so totally not normal."
"Oh, now fellas…" Ace smiled and shook his head. "Come on. It's not my fault that I have four gorgeous women going nuts about me. Besides, doesn't every guy want to be the center of attention to the opposite sex?"
"Whoa!" Jack winced as the TV showed one guest cussing out an audience member, and then start brawling with him. "Bogus."
"Yeah, but in your case, the girls who are nuts about you are members of a team of mutants being trained to serve an evil organization." John reminded Ace. "One of them is an egomaniac, one thinks she's a mutant cat, the third…is creepy, and the fourth is a blonde with an angel's face and a devil's attitude." Ace chuckled.
"Monet likes attention, Sharon spent her early life as a cat, Marie-Ange is quiet by nature, and Jenny is from a crazy Greek family residing in Atlantic City." Ace responded, counting off on his fingers. "Obviously, you don't know the girls like I do."
"I bet we don't." Jack snickered. "Considering how I saw how the redhead and the blonde drooled over you last summer." (1)
"It's an effect I have on women." Ace shrugged. "A lot of the men in my family have a talent for charming women."
"I wish I could get women like Ace could." John muttered. He looked at the TV. A female guest had a male one in a headlock.
"Fellas, I don't need to go on no TV show." Ace groaned. "I'm plenty well-known as it is."
"Yeah, but you're like, dating four women…at once!" Jack exclaimed. "Dude, that'll cause disaster!"
"In Ace's case, it only causes catfights. Which are good." John smirked.
"Yeah, but still…" Jack started.
"Oh, come on." Ace sighed. "I'm living an American Dream, man. What guy would not want to be the center of attention of several beautiful women?"
"I know that silver-haired jerk would." John rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, yeah." Ace chuckled.
"What do you see in them, anyway?" Jack wondered. Ace smiled.
"Well, obviously, they're all easy on the eyes." Ace smiled happily. "They are all special in their own way. Monet is always fun to be around. I could always count on her for study tips. Marie-Ange is a great sparring partner, and always up for a nice quiet night. Jenny is a party girl. When I'm up for a loud night of fun, I can always bring her along. And as for Sharon…well…it's nice to be around a fellow feline."
"Huh." John smirked. "Different girls for different moods, huh?"
"Yup." Ace nodded.
"Tarot can fight?" Jack blinked.
"She's the best of the Hellions. None too bad with a sword, either." Ace nodded. "And you should see her when she does the splits, heh heh."
"Hi-O!" Jack's eyes widened.
"So that would explain it." John smirked. "I'm not a romance fan, but I can't help but envy you, Ace."
"See? That's why you need to get on Stringer." Jack smirked, pointing at the screen, now showing two guests whacking each other with teddy bears.
"Oh yeah, go on the show and beat up a guy with a teddy bear. Hah hah hah." Ace rolled his eyes. A phone that sat on a small end table next to the couch started to ring. John picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Bonjour. Is Ace there?" A French-accented female voice inquired over the phone.
"Oh, that's Marie-Ange." Ace nodded.
"Ace?" Another female voice piped up. "Give phone! Catseye wants to talk to Ace!"
"Non! I am talking to him right now!" Tarot was heard snapping at Catseye. "Vait your turn!"
"Wildstar love Catseye, not you! Catseye want to talk to Wildstar right now!"
"Wait your turn!" Tarot snapped.
"Normally, Marie-Ange is pretty calm." Ace explained. "But mention me…" The sounds of a catfight could be heard over the phone.
"Man, sometimes this stuff drives me nuts." John grumbled.
"Maybe I should go on the show." Ace blinked.
"Yeah. The catfights alone could be worth it." Jack laughed.
The End
(1) – See "Mad Malibu Summer"!