"Dont. You. Dare."
The edge of the kitchen table bit into her palms as she clutched it, fingers curled under the lip with feverish desperation, calculating.
"Not another step-I'm warning you!"
The words quivered as the bluff escaped her lips.
A conniving smirk leered at her from the opposite side of the table.
Her options were limited. If she dodged left, he would certainly capture her before she could make it to the kitchen. She could go right, and possibly take cover behind the sofa, but how long could that last? In her civilian form, he was undoubtedly faster and stronger than she was. And, as luck would have it, her brooch was still where she had safely tucked it away the night before: inside the drawer beside her bed. Naively, she had thought there would be no need for it today.
How wrong she had been.
Usagi focused her eyes on her opponent's, willing herself not to stare at his grotesquely disfigured face. Deep blue eyes. So deep she could fall right into them. And she had, time and time again, completely let go and fallen into his currents. How could he betray her like this?
But she had an objective. And there was only one option: she would have to make a break for the bedroom.
He noticed her eyes flick back and forth between himself and the bedroom door.
"Don't run away from me."
His little rabbit had turned ghostly white, eyes larger than ever. His heartbeat pounded against his eardrums as she trembled on the other side of the table, her beautiful features twisted in disgust, absolutely repulsed by the sight of him. It had been far too long since he enjoyed the pleasures of torturing her, yet the same electric jolt was jumping up his throat as he had felt all those years ago. Before they were lovers, before they were Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon, before they were even friends. When he would tease her mercilessly in hopes of an adorable reaction.
He had really done it this time.
"I just want one kiss."
His voice was smooth, but she clutched at her chest, delicate fingers closing around the empty space where her brooch usually lived. The determination in her eyes never wavered.
"Not on your life."
He drummed his fingers against the cool wood of the table and leaned in, his grin widening as she flinched.
"It looks like Sailor Moon won't be able to save you, Usako."
She made her move. Darting left until he had almost reached her, then jumping over the table and sprinting toward her only escape. Chairs clattered to the floor behind her but she didn't dare look back, even as she heard him curse under his breath. She was nearly there, the door almost within reach-
"Nice try."
His dark frame had slipped in front of her at the last second, cutting her off. She didn't have time to react before she was thrown over his shoulder, his raw strength easily tossing her about like a doll. Why was he so strong even in his civilian form? It wasn't fair. She brought her fists down against his back uselessly, trying to beat some sense into him. She would have kicked him, too, had her legs not been entirely encased by his arms.
"Put me down, Mamo-chan!" He chuckled at her foolish attempts, which only made her all the more furious. "I am not above using the Moon Rod on you," she warned.
Suddenly, she came crashing down on the bed, Mamoru stretched above her. His large hands pinned hers to the bed, and his hips pressed against her legs, holding them in place.
"I'd like to see you try," he taunted.
Usagi wriggled beneath him, but he had her right where he wanted her. There was nowhere left to run. She couldn't even fight back. He leaned in.
"No, Mamo-chan, please! Don't!"
He ran the tip of his nose up the length of her slender neck and whispered in her ear.
"Why don't you want to kiss me, Usako?"
"It's so gross! Please, Mamo-chan, please!" Her cries rose in pitch and fed the twisted, inner bastard inside of him.
"What's gross?" he teased, planting kisses along her jaw, slowly inching his way toward her mouth.
"That thing on your face! If you kiss me like that, I'm going to throw up on you!"
Mamoru ignored her threats and nuzzled into her cheek, the bristles on his own face rubbing against her smooth skin. She gagged.
"IT'S SO GROSS MAMO-CHAN PLEASE I CAN'T-"
"Just give me one kiss and I'll let you go."
Usagi debated. Once again, her options were limited. Did she give in, give him what he wanted? Kiss the most horrid abomination to ever walk the earth? Or, if she resisted, did she risk him rubbing it all over her body and doing even more disgusting things with that-
"Fine."
He beamed stupidly above her and, had she not been restrained, she would have smacked him.
"But make it quick."
"Not on your life."
And then he was kissing her. And it was just as bad as she had imagined. Rough whiskers scratched against her upper lip as he moved his mouth on hers. She squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for it to end. His tongue ran against her lower lip, coaxing her mouth open, and she obliged, although begrudgingly. He deepened the kiss and she allowed it to continue, until something began tickling the back of her throat. She coughed and he immediately released her.
"Usako? What's wrong?"
She just actually might throw up.
"EW! Mamoru-baka, you got a friggin 'hair in my throat!" she managed between gulps of air.
Mamoru was struggling to breathe himself, collapsed in a heap of laughter on the bed beside his wife. Of all the pranks he had played on Usagi through the years, this one had been the best.
"Why do you still have that disgusting thing on your face, anyway?" she demanded, fingers now searching her mouth for the offending hair.
"It's Movember," he stated matter-of-factly.
She grunted. "Movember is over. You were supposed to be shaving it off!"
She had apparently found the hair and was now examining it on her fingertip, her cheeks turning a faint shade of green.
"I was shaving. And I was saving the mustache for last. I just wanted to see what it would look like," he said innocently.
She wiped her finger on his shirt before glaring up at him.
"It looks like it's 1978 and you're trying to lure me into your van," she snapped.
He laughed again.
"So, I take it you don't like it."
"No." She folded her arms.
He couldn't help himself.
"You sure you don't want one more ki-"
"Dr. Chiba you get your butt back in that bathroom and shave that awful thing off your face if you ever want me to kiss you again."
He stood and started for the bathroom. The sound of sliding wood brought his eyes back to his wife and found that she now had her brooch grasped tightly in her hands.
"And if you don't look like my Mamo-chan when you get back, you're going to have Sailor Moon to deal with!"