Mob loved her dad very much.

She loved him even though he could be mean sometimes. She loved him even though he took baby Mukai away. She loved him even though he hit Sho sometimes. She loved him even though he made her cry sometimes. She loved him even though sometimes when she was near him she had trouble breathing and not just because she had hurt her lungs by smoking. She loved him even though she kept secrets from him. She loved him even though she didn't always agree with what he did. She loved him even though he had decided that mom was a traitor. She loved him even though he could just the meanest and weirdest person that she had ever met in her life.

She loved her dad.

That was why she was sitting in his bed, now, and not hers. She was sitting in his bed and waiting for him because she loved him a lot and liked spending time with him and also he had been waking her up in the middle of the night, every night, to carry her to his bed. She had might as well save herself the trouble. It was ok to leave Sho alone because he had gone to sleep at Fukuda's house. She sort of wanted to sleep away from home too but dad wanted her to be near him. Why else would he carry her to his bed every night like that?

She drew her knees up to her chest.

She felt…not good. She hated this time of year. This when mom had left. Sho hated it too. She wondered if dad hated it…but he probably didn't. He had fallen out of love with mom a while ago. Now he thought that she was a traitor and stuff. Mob…she didn't know how to feel about mom. Sometimes she was mad that mom left and sometimes she wanted her back more than anything else in the whole, wide, world. She wanted mom to be here in dad's bed, not her, because this was where she belonged. She belonged with dad and Mob belonged in her own bed in her own room with Sho. She wanted mom back but also she was just so mad at mom…and she knew that she was not supposed to get mad at anyone. She was not supposed to get mad because she was supposed to be sweet and nice like mom said…

It was hard.

She thought about something else while she waited for dad. He was taking a bath now. He did that sometimes before bed even though that meant that he was going to sleep with wet hair and you were not supposed to go to sleep with wet hair because then you could get sick. Mom had said so. Mom had taught her that and some other stuff…but there was a bunch of stuff that mom had forgotten to teach her, too. Like what to do when Sho got mad and kicked holes in the walls. She had no idea how to make him stop…and he had no idea how to make himself stop either. She was so lost sometimes…lost and sad….

She didn't like feeling this way.

She wanted to feel happy. She thought about the things that made her happy. She had to think about good things like how she had the little baby sock now. Also Sho had drawn her a picture of a tuxedo cat and it was very nice like all of the things that he drew. Also she had some very good friends now and she'd never had any friends before let alone very good ones. Also Hatori had said that he liked her phone case. It had taken all day for her to find some excuse to go and see him but it had been worth it because he saw her phone case and told her that he liked it…she was happier now than she had been before. You had to accentuate the positives, like in the song, and that was what she was doing. So what if she felt empty and aching sometimes? She had a lot of good things in her life. She had a dad who would be mean and weird but he loved her and a little brother who could be mean sometimes but who also loved her and good friends and nice things and she liked a boy who was very nice…even though he did curse at his games a lot…and who was very tall…well he was shorter than Minegishi even but he was still taller than her….and he was nice to her. That was the main thing.

Mob liked it when people were nice to her.

Maybe dad had stopped being nice to mom. Maybe that was it. Mob couldn't imagine being with someone who wasn't nice to her. She knew that when she finally met someone who she liked and who liked her back…and who dad wasn't going to beat up…then she would never leave him. She would be with someone who was nice to her but nice in that 'in love' way. The way where he would look at her and see her for who she was and accept her and care about her even though she was clueless and couldn't control her powers all the way and all of that other stuff that was wrong with her.

She wanted to know what that felt like more than anything else in the world.

But she would never know what that felt like. Not if dad kept on beating up people he thought liked her. She was always supposed to be at his side. Even when she got married and had babies she was supposed to always be at dad's side. She was his daughter and that was her job…even though she wasn't sure how she was supposed to grow up and get married and stuff, stuff that he told her that she was supposed to do, if she was right by his side.

But that was all for later.

She would figure it out later. Right now she could feel dad's aura moving. That meant that he was done with his bath. Now he would come to bed and then they'd either go to sleep or watch TV all night. That was fine. She liked watching TV with dad…even the documentary show about Japan. Even though she was Japanese. Even though she had never wanted to know as much about chopsticks as she did now. She would let him pick. If she picked she'd end up picking Frozen.

She liked that movie.

Elsa was just like her only not Japanese and a lot older and also a lesbian. Well Minegishi said that Elsa was clearly a lesbian and the whole movie was about her figuring it out…even though that made no sense. The movie was about having powers that you couldn't control and being scared of yourself. Elsa had a whole song about it. If the movie was about a girl who liked another girl then it would have been a much shorter and much more different movie. If she liked another girl then she could have just met a girl and fell in love and then the whole movie would have been different.

Minegishi just didn't understand Frozen.

Dad didn't understand Frozen either. He said that it was boring and that he was sick of it. Mob didn't understand how anyone could ever be sick of Frozen. It was the best movie ever made. Elsa was the best person ever. She had trouble controlling her powers and she loved her sister and she didn't have a mom and dad but in the end she got past all of that stuff and made friends and also she could totally get a girlfriend if she wanted to. It was a great movie, one of the best ever made, and she really wanted to watch Frozen so badly even though she had seen that movie more than a hundred times, but she knew that dad would not have let her watch it because he only wanted to do things that he wanted…and that was ok because she loved him.

She loved her dad very much.

She sat up normally when his door opened. His aura flared when he saw her. Was he mad? Why would he be mad at her? She was just in his bed. She'd been in his bed before. He had been carrying her to his bed night after night. Did he just like carrying her? Was that it? She didn't know. She didn't understand him sometimes.

"Daughter. Explain." Said dad. Mob didn't like it how he always said that. But she didn't say anything. Dad was dad.

"You always carry me to your bed so I thought that you would be happy if I just…waited for you. I can go back to my bed and fall asleep so you can carry me in later if you want." Said Mob. She didn't much want that. She didn't like it when he woke her up in the middle of the night. She didn't like waking up in the morning not knowing where she was. She didn't like how dad wouldn't just say that he wanted her to be near him…and that must have been what he wanted. After all, he had been carrying her to his bed.

"That…that would be…acceptable." Said dad. He was still staring at her, though, and he wasn't moving from the doorway. Mob could see some water still in his hair. It was weird. She had never seen him with water in his hair before. He was just in his pants and his undershirt, too, which was also weird.

Maybe she looked weird to him, too.

People looked different at night. At night she had her hair down and she wore pajamas. During the day she had her hair in braids and she wore clothes. At night Sho slept without a shirt on, during the summer, and also his hair was even more spiky than normal from how he slept on it. Her friends looked different at night too. Minegishi let their hair be messy and they wore T-shirts and pajama pants with pretty flowers. Shibata wore striped pajamas that matched and were all fancy. Shimazaki hardly wore anything at all. Dad was the only person she knew who looked mostly the same from day to night.

Well except for now.

"Do you want to watch TV?" asked Mob. She saw his shirt folded on top of his dresser. He didn't put it on, though, he just sat down on the edge of the bed. She scooted away from him. She might have been taking up too much room. She didn't want to be a bed hog. That was why she and Sho didn't share anymore. He called her a bed hog even though she always slept so far to the edge of the bed that she even fell out sometimes.

"That would be acceptable as well." Said Dad. She wondered why he was talking like that. His aura was all turned in and he was talking to her like…she didn't know. Not in the way that he usually talked to her. Not that she was that good at these taking things and not that he had been talking to her that often lately. He'd had a lot to do lately. Fukuda had even said that they were extra busy now and would maybe even be in Tokyo getting things sorted out until New Year's.

Mob didn't know how to feel about that.

On the one hand she didn't like it when they moved around a lot. She liked being able to have her body clock align with the clock of the country that she was in. She liked being able to understand what everyone was saying all the time, too, and also looking like everyone around her. She just liked being in Japan and…and she also didn't. Because this was the last place that she had lived with mom…well the only place she had lived with mom….and she just didn't want to think about mom anymore even though that made her a terrible daughter.

She always got upset around this time.

"Do you want to re-watch the episodes of the Japan show that you like? Or we can watch a different documentary…or something." Said Mob. Dad had gotten closer to her now but that was not saying much. He was keeping himself and his aura away from her. She didn't know why. He was always letting her hang on to him while she slept…and maybe that was it.

Maybe he could only be hugged for so long.

Was it possible for a person to run out of hugs? Mob didn't know. She knew that she could hug the people she loved all day. She also knew that dad was a different person from her all together. Dad didn't like to be touched that often. Not when she had been little and not now either…which made no sense because dad had also been carrying her to his bed every night and stuff….

He was hard to understand sometimes.

"We can….you can choose the program. Nothing about rodents." Said dad. He got a little bit closer to her. She got a little bit closer to him. She needed some bed too. She wanted to be near him. She loved him and….and she felt sort of sad inside. Empty and aching. This came and went. It would pass but it passed faster when she was with someone she loved. She wished that she could go next door to see Minegishi but dad probably wanted her near him and also their aura looked like they were asleep and Mob was not allowed to wake them up unless there was an emergency.

The empty and aching feeling she got was not an emergency.

"No Ratatouille?" asked Mob as she turned the TV on. She decided to stay out of the Disney app because then she would want to watch Frozen even though she knew that she couldn't watch Frozen because dad didn't like it.

"No." said dad. His aura showed what he felt. Mob didn't get it. It was a perfectly nice movie even if there was no singing and Remy didn't meet a girl rat and fall in love with her and stuff. Or a boy rat. She wasn't going to tell people, even fictional people, who they could and could not fall in love with.

"Why do you hate that movie so much?" asked Mob

"Because the idea of rodents having intelligence comparable to that of humans is disturbing. I've told you that before." Said dad

"I know. It's just a movie though. Real rats and mice aren't that smart. They have trouble with mazes and stuff. Like when me and Sho played maze with the ones we borrow from the pet store." Said Mob

"I remember that day. What were you two even trying to prove with that experiment?" asked dad

"That running rats through a maze is fun." Said Mob. What else did she need to prove? It had been fun and that was what mattered.

"Fair enough, though you would have had better results with a larger sample size." Said dad

"That's was all the Awakened came back with." Said Mob. She wondered why they had come back with so many different kinds of animals but it had still been a fun time. She had been so little back then. So had Sho. It had been so long ago. Before she had made friends with Minegishi and Shimazaki and Shibata. Before she had gotten too old for Fukuda to be nice to her anymore. Before baby Mukai had been born…Mob missed baby Mukai so much…but she was in a better place now. Besides, Mob still had her little baby sock and her pictures and her memories of their time together. Things were always so much better in her memories.

"They are useless, aren't they?" said dad. Mob frowned. Her aura showed what she felt and she braced herself for mean words…that never came. Dad was still just looking at her. She didn't know why. She decided to keep talking. That might have been what he was waiting for.

"No….I mean they can act like a bunch of little kids sometimes but I don't think that they're useless." Said Mob

"They have few uses, then, that would be more precise." Said dad

"Yeah…they have trouble with stuff." Said Mob. She could admit that. They were like little kids, the newer ones anyway. They had trouble with things that had a lot of steps and also things that they had to work together.

"But you do have a way with them." Said dad

"What do you mean?" asked Mob. They didn't listen to her. The followed her around and tried to talk to her and also they kept on bringing her snacks and stuff but they still fought and were still mean to one another. That was not having a way with them at all.

"They are quite taken with you but then again who wouldn't be. You're you." Said dad. Then he got sort of quiet. Mob wondered why his aura looked like that. He had said a nice thing about her. Maybe he was as shocked as she was that he had said a nice thing.

"Thanks dad. That was really nice." Said Mob. She stopped flipping through shows. She looked at dad with her eyes and her aura. Maybe he was going to say another nice thing to her. Maybe he was going to give her a hug and tell her that he loved her and…and stuff like that. Stuff that mom used to do. Stuff that Minegishi did if she was especially sad. She wasn't that sad now, no, she was happy. Dad had said something nice to her.

"…I shouldn't have said that to you. I apologize." Said dad. Mob blinked. What the H-word was that? She may not have been the best at talking but she did know that there was nothing wrong with saying nice things to someone. You were supposed to say nice things to the people you love. You were supposed to want to make them feel good. That was part of what it was to love another person. You made them feel good and they made you feel good. Love just…was good. It could be like a mirror, it seemed, where you got back the love you gave…or something. She didn't know. She only knew what she had been able to put together from her life and also TV. Nobody had ever sat down and told her what love was. She wished that mom had taught her what love was. That seemed like something more important to teach someone than how to make an omelet and how to braid hair and pair socks so the elastic didn't wear out.

"But….that makes no sense. Why would you say sorry for being nice to me?" Said Mob

"Because…because I just should not have said that to you. I haven't been…myself…lately. I apologize." Said dad. Mob didn't get it. She truly did not get it. Dad was mean all the time. He said things that could make her wish that she had never been born, sometimes, and those weren't even things that he said to her. Those were things that he said to Sho. The things that he said to her, the mean ones, never made her wish that she had never been born. They just made her feel like…like she was empty and aching inside. Dad never said sorry for saying those things but he said sorry for being nice?

What even happened in his mind?

People were complicated and dad was the most complicated person of all. She sort of wished that he was more like Shimazaki. He may have been very annoying but at least he made sense in his annoyingness. He never confused her. Dad…dad confused her. Like right now she was just so confused that she wasn't even sure if they were even still speaking Japanese.

"Dad…..I like it when you say nice things to me. I love you so much dad and…and I wish that you would say nicer things to me. I'm sorry but that's just how I feel." Said Mob. She knew that she should not have been talking to her dad like that but she also knew that…that she wanted to feel loved. The feeling went away when she felt like this.

All loved and stuff.

Dad love, not love-love, which was different. Maybe she felt better because dad love was sort of like mom love. She knew that dad loved her and she knew that dad had trouble showing it…even though he had showed it just fine a few seconds ago. If he could show it just fine back then…he should have been able to show it in the future. She didn't know. She just…she just really liked it when dad was nice to her.

"You…you want me to…to speak to you like that?" asked dad. Mob nodded. She didn't know what was so hard to understand. She wanted him to say nice things to her just like everyone else on the planet. What was so hard to understand about that?

"Yes. I just said so. I like it when you say nice things to me." Said Mob

"How often? I need….be specific. I need specifics." Said dad. He talked slowly and it looked like it hurt him, even, to day that to her. Why? What was so hard so him? To understand that she wanted her dad to love her and be nice to her?

"Specifics?" asked Mob

"What should I say to you? And how often? And…and that's just what I need from you. To know what you want. I am your father and I live to provide for you but I need to know what it is that you want me to provide." Said dad. Mob felt like this was unfair. She felt like dad was just putting everything on her. She wished that he could just be like her and say nice things when he felt them…but dad was a different person from her. Everyone was different and dad was the most different of all and she had to be understanding of him…even though it was really hard sometimes.

"I want….I want you to tell me the nice things that you feel about me whenever you feel them. That's how it works. When you love someone you say the things you feel about them. The nice ones." Said Mob

"I…I can't do that. I apologize but I just cannot show that kind of weakness." Said Dad. He was still talking like he was in pain. Like he had swallowed a fish bone and it was poking at his throat and every time he tried to talk it poked him and stuff. But that made no sense because they'd had omelets for dinner and those had no bones.

"But….I don't know what you mean. How is it weak to love someone? I know you love me and you know that you love me so what's there to…to worry about? I don't understand." Said Mob. She didn't know if she was the clueless one or if he was the weird one or if they were both just incapable of understanding each other. She was close to him now, close enough to press herself to his side, and he was sitting so rigid that Mob was starting to wonder if it hurt.

"Daughter….you don't understand." Said dad

"No. I don't but I want to. I don't see why you're so worried about that. You love me and I love you and you're my dad. You're my dad and…and you're supposed to love me. I don't know what I would do if…if you didn't love me….and sometimes it feels like you don't love me…and it makes me feel sad…" said Mob. She knew that she wasn't supposed to talk about this, bad feelings, and also she knew that she wasn't supposed to let her hair float and her aura look like that and…

And now dad was holding her.

He was strong. He was very strong. He had her by the shoulders and…and she was scared a little. His fingers were digging into her shoulders. His eyes were on hers. They were doing that thing where his pupils got so small that she couldn't even see them. She tried to squirm away but he was holding her still with his powers and his hands and he was so much bigger and stronger than her….and she was so much smaller than him….

She wanted to go back to her own bed.

"No. Never think that. You matter to me more than you will ever know." Said dad. He was talking to her like he was mad at her but he also was saying nice things to her and…and she didn't know what to do…or what was even happening. Was he mad? Was he going to punish her? She tried to close her eyes but she found that she couldn't.

He was so much stronger than her.

"Dad…." Said Mob

"You are my Daughter and I care for you. Never, ever, ever forget that fact. You are mine and I will never, ever, ever stop caring for you. Do you understand?" asked dad. Mob tried to nod but she couldn't. She couldn't move.

"I know-know that I'm your daughter and I know that I'm yours and I know that-that you care about me and I won't ever forget that." Said Mob. She was scared. She was scared even though he was being nice to her….and him being nice to her was somehow scarier than him being mean to her…

"Good. Remember. Even if I don't say it I love you. You need to always remember that." Said dad

"I-I believe you. Um…always knew that you loved me and…and um….do you want to watch the series of Galaxy Express? I know….I know how you like that and I really want to see the whole show and not just the movie." Said Mob. She needed to make this stop. She knew that he liked that show and she knew that she needed to make him forget that she had ever said anything. She wished that she had never said anything. She loved her dad, she really did, bit too much of his love could be sort of…scary.

He let go of her.

Her arms hurt from where he grabbed her. Her aura hurt from how his aura had been against hers. She felt scared and she wanted to go to her own bed in her own room even if Sho was gone and she would be on her own…actually she didn't want to be alone either. She wanted…she wanted to be near dad but not when he was….whatever that had been…and also she wanted her mom even though mom was gone. She just…she didn't want to be scared anymore. She wished that Minegishi had still been up so they could both hang out and stuff…but they weren't. They were asleep for the night and Mob wished that she could have been asleep for the night…but she couldn't.

Because dad loved her and no matter how scary his love was she would always be with him.

She loved her dad.