Disclaimer: I keep forgetting to put this, but by now everyone knows they're not mine...sigh...

A/N: For those interested in reading them, there are links to two very recent (February 20 and 22, 2005) interviews with DPB on www dot spoilerfix dot com, down towards the bottom of the JAG page. I happened upon them tonight and while I now feel like they probably won't actually be killing Harm off at the end of the season, I'm not at all happy with DPB's description of what we can expect the season 10 finale to bring. Sounds like we can let go of any real hopes we have for a shippery finish to this romance, folks... :( I'm also disgusted that IF they go into season 11 (which I hope they don't), the show will be nothing like what we've come to know and love as JAG. I'm sorry, moving it from DC to San Diego, it just doesn't work for me. We don't want a "younger, hipper JAG" - we love the JAG we have!

Sigh...oh well, like I told my husband tonight, at least Harm will be there all the way through theend of the JAG I love so much... :( sniff...sniff... It was hard to write this chapter being so mad about this season tonight, but I gave it a try. Please let me know how I did!

Chapter 41:

"Welcome back, Commander" said Coates as Harm stepped off the elevator at JAG. "We missed you, sir."

"Thank you, Petty Officer" he replied. "It's good to be back."

"Is it really, sir" asked Coates, "or are you saying that to try and convince yourself that you're OK with being here while the Colonel is still on maternity leave?"

"A little of both, I guess" shrugged Harm. "I'm glad to be back, but leaving this morning was hard."

…flashback…

Mac awoke a little after 6:00, alone. She sat up and peeked into the bassinette, no baby. The smell of Harm's shower gel faintly filled the air, so she knew he'd already showered and, probably, dressed. She smiled as she got up and started towards the kitchen to fix him some breakfast, but her smile quickly faded when she walked past the nursery.

"Hey" she said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?" Harm was sitting in the glider rocker with Ainsley, a steady stream of tears rolling down his face.

"I…I'm not sure I can go back today" he said, his voice wracked with emotion.

"Oh, babe" said Mac, kneeling down beside the rocker, "I didn't realize you were having such a hard time with this."

"Me either" he replied, wiping away the newest tears before they could fall on the baby. "I got up and showered, put my shirt and slacks on and she was awake, so I brought her in here so you could sleep some more. I sat down here to spend some time with her, and when it really hit me that I'll be gone all day, I just lost it."

"I'm sorry" said Mac, tearing up a little herself. "Do you think you need a few more days off?"

"Yes" he answered, "and no. If I take more time off before going back, it'll make those days easier, but it'd only be prolonging the inevitable."

"True" whispered Mac.

"I knew it'd be hard to go back after not ever being away from her for more than a trip to the grocery store" he continued, "but I didn't think it'd be this hard."

"Can you tell me what's making it so hard for you?" asked Mac.

Harm looked down as Ainsley, who'd fallen asleep in his arms, and the tears came again. Mac put her hand on his knee and rubbed it gently, giving him a few moments to compose himself.

"I guess I'm afraid" he said, "that she'll need me or you'll need me and I won't be here."

"You're only going back to the office, babe" said Mac, "you won't be but a phone call away if we do need you for anything, right?"

Harm nodded.

"We'll be OK" she said, "I promise you, we'll be just fine. You can call and check in as many times as you want to, I can call you, anything that you think will get you through the day."

"Think a call every 15 minutes would be pushing it?" he asked with a little smile.

"Yes" replied Mac, also smiling a touch, "but if that's what you need today, that's what we'll do."

"I think I can survive with a call every couple hours" said Harm, beginning to feel better about leaving his baby girl all day for the first time in her life, "as long as you promise to call me if you need me, agreed?"

"Absolutely" said Mac. She felt confident in her own mind that she and Ainsley would have a great day at home, just mommy and baby, but she knew in a matter of weeks, she'd be in his place and would no doubt have the same trouble getting through it.

"How about some breakfast?" suggested Mac.

"Not yet" said Harm, "I'd like to sit here awhile longer. I think you've got enough time to take a shower before she wakes up to eat again, though, and then I can fix breakfast while you feed her."

"OK" agreed Mac, leaning in for a kiss before leaving. Harm sat with Ainsley, softly talking to her as she slept.

"Daddy has to go back to work today, baby girl" he said. "I'd much rather stay here with you and mommy, but I've got some big cases waiting for me and I've gotta get back. I'll be thinking about you all day though, you can be sure of that, and I'll come home as soon as I can tonight, OK? Promise me you'll be good for mommy, she's gotta get used to me not being here all day, too. I know, she's a Marine and she can handle anything, heaven knows I've heard that speech no fewer than a million times, but try to go easy on her, baby." Ainsley snuggled in a little closer to her daddy, and it was all he could do not to cry again.

…end flashback…

"The General would like to see you in his office, sir" said Coates.

"Thank you, Petty Officer" replied Harm as he pressed ahead towards the bullpen.

"Commander, you're back!" exclaimed Harriet. "Good to see you, sir. How's the family?"

"They're doing very well, thank you" said Harm. "I've got some pictures if you wanna see them."

"Do you even have to ask, sir?" said Harriet.

Harm laughed. "Follow me, they're in my briefcase."

"Yes, sir" replied Harriet. Once inside his office, Harm dug a small photo album out of his briefcase and handed it to a very eager Harriet. Inside were pictures of Ainsley's entire life to date: some from right after she was born, several in the hospital, several more at home.

"Oh, she's such a living doll!" exclaimed Harriet. "I love this one here" she said.

"Which one is that?" asked Harm, looking up from his desk where he'd been arranging the files that had been waiting for him for a few weeks.

"This one of you and the Colonel holding Ainsley in the hospital." replied Harriet, pointing out the picture to him. "This must have been the day you took her home."

"It was" said Harm, "Mattie took that right before we left the hospital."

"It's a great one, sir" said Harriet. "You should frame it and set it on your desk."

"One step ahead of you" said Harm, pulling a small, flat box from his briefcase. He lifted the lid off and pulled out an eight-by-ten collage style frame and showed it to her. In the center was the picture Harriet liked so much of the family at the hospital, and surrounding it were 5 other pictures. There was one of Ainsley in her sunflower dress, one of her sleeping on her daddy's chest, another of Mac holding and looking down at her, one of Mattie holding Ainsley, and one of Harm giving Ainsley her first real bath.

"Did you put this together, sir?" asked Harriet as she handed it back to him.

"No" he answered, taking the frame from her and placing it prominently at the corner of his desk. "I helped Mac choose the pictures, but she put it together. I'm not real good with that kinda stuff."

"Well, it looks great" she said. "I best get back to work, but I'm here if you need anything, sir."

"Thanks, Harriet" said Harm. He started to sit down at his desk when he remembered the General wanted to see him. He picked up the photo album and walked to the CO's office, knocking firmly on the door.

"Enter"

"You wanted to see me, sir?" asked Harm as he entered the office.

"Yes, Commander" said General Creswell, "please, have a seat. First off, welcome back."

"Thank you, sir" replied Harm.

"How are the Colonel and the little one?" asked the General.

"They're fine, sir" said Harm, "I've got a few pictures of Ainsley if you'd be interested in seeing them" he added, holding up the album in his hand.

"I'd be delighted" replied Creswell, taking the album. "I remember when my little girl was born, for those first few months I wanted to show her picture to anyone who wouldn't run in the opposite direction when they saw me coming."

"Understood completely, sir" laughed Harm. "I always swore when I became a father I'd spare everyone the chore of looking at countless pictures of my kid, but I've gotta admit now that it's a reality, I don't think I'll be able to stick with that plan."

"She's absolutely beautiful" said the General as he flipped through the pages of pictures.

"Thank you, sir" replied Harm.

"From the looks of things" continued Creswell, "you're quite the hands-on dad, huh?"

"Very much so, General" answered Harm proudly.

"Well, that's just great, Commander" said the General as he closed the book and passed it back to Harm. "I'm sure both the Colonel and your daughter appreciate that."

"I believe they do, sir" said Harm.

"Is Colonel Mackenzie still planning to return in another 6 weeks?" asked the General.

"Yes, sir" replied Harm. "She'll return to half days in another 6 weeks, then resume full duties 4 weeks after that."

"Very good" said the General. "Give her my best and tell her we miss her around here."

"Will do, sir" said Harm. "Is there anything else, General?"

"No, Commander" he answered, "I just wanted to welcome you back and see how the family was doing. We're pretty swamped around here right now with you and the Colonel both being out for the last several weeks, but don't hesitate to speak up if you need a little time here and there, understood?"

"Yes, sir" said Harm, "thank you, sir."

"Dismissed."

Harm returned to his office just as his phone began to ring.

"Rabb"

"Hey, babe, how're you doing?"

"You mean aside from only having been here an hour and already missing you both like crazy?"

"Yes, aside from that"

"I'm OK. I have the collage on my desk, it looks great."

"I'm glad. Have you shown off the rest of the pictures yet?"

"Oh yes, Harriet has seen them and the General."

"And?"

"They both said Ainsley is adorable, but we already knew that."

"Very much so. What's your caseload look like? Is it a nightmare?"

"Not really. I haven't had a chance to look through very much of what's on my desk yet, but I saw a misappropriation of funds, a drunk and disorderly and a conduct unbecoming, none of them look too bad."

"That's good, babe. I was hoping you wouldn't walk into a murder or anything too serious your first day back.

"Yeah, that wouldn't have made today any easier for sure."

Well, I'll let you go, I just got done feeding her and put her down so I thought I'd make sure you were still doing alright."

"I'm fine, Mac, I promise. You go get some rest or walk on the treadmill or whatever you want to do, and I'll call you after awhile, OK?"

"Treadmill sounds like a great idea. I love you, Harm, I'll talk to you later."

"I love you too, Mac. Bye."

"Bye."

Harm hung up the phone and leaned back in his chair. He stared at the pictures on his desk for several minutes before taking a deep breath and forcing himself to get some work done.

"Hey" said Mac as Harm walked through the front door, "welcome home."

"Thanks" he said, giving her a kiss as he unbuttoned his uniform jacket. "Let me get this thing off so I can hold my girl." He removed the jacket and draped it over the back of the couch, then took Ainsley from Mac's arms.

"Hello my love" he said, kissing her over and over. "Daddy missed you so much. Did you have fun with mommy today?"

"Tell daddy yes" said Mac, "say I had a busy day."

"Oh yeah" asked Harm, loosening his tie with his free hand, "what'd she do?"

"Let's see" said Mac, "she nursed, she had a diaper change, she napped, she nursed some more, had another diaper change and took another nap, followed by more nursing, another diaper change and, believe it or not, another nap." Harm laughed at Mac's account of the day's activities.

"Then she was awake for about an hour" continued Mac, "nursed some more and spit it up all over both of us, so then she got a bath and we both got a change of clothes. After that, she spent some time in her bouncy seat while mommy worked on a little something special."

"Something special?" asked Harm.

"Mm-hmm" replied Mac. "Come on, I want you to see it."

"OK" said Harm. "Come on, Ainsley, let's go see what your mommy is up to." He followed Mac into the nursery as she turned the light on and walked over to the dresser. From there, she didn't say anything.

She didn't have to.

"Oh, Mac" said Harm, immediately realizing what the "something special" was. Next to the silver frame that Trish had given them at the baby shower, the one with the picture of Harm, Sr. holding a newborn Harm, Jr., was another silver frame. Inside this one was a picture of Harm and Ainsley that Mattie had taken in the delivery room when Ainsley was only a few minutes old. Harm was holding her in almost the exact same manner as his father held him, looking down at her in total, loving admiration. The pictures couldn't have looked any more alike if they'd been staged to do so. The inscription on the new frame read "Another generation of love…"

"Do you like it?" asked Mac.

"Mac…" was all he managed to get out before he felt a lump in his throat. He took a couple of deep breaths. "I love it, babe, but how come I've never seen this picture before now?"

"Because" said Mac, "as soon as I saw it, I knew this was what I wanted to do with it and I wanted it to be a surprise, so I had Mattie upload it and delete it from the memory card in the camera so you wouldn't find it."

"Well, it worked" said a still emotional Harm. "Can you believe how similar this picture is to the one of my dad and I?"

"I know" replied Mac, "we could almost lay one on top of the other and they'd match up. Of course some of that is just sheer luck with the way Mattie took the picture, but there's no denying that you're your father's child, babe."

"I just hope I can be as good a father to her as he was to me" said Harm, holding Ainsley close and staring intently at both pictures atop the dresser.

"I know you will be" said Mac.

A/N: Look for the next installment early next week...