Disclaimer: If only they were mine...sigh...
A/N: There may be a delay in the next few chapters. My grandma informed us today that she'll be moving in with my parents in a couple of weeks, and I'll be crazy busy helping them prepare for that. I'll also possibly be going with my mom to get grandma, who lives 18 hours away from us, and bring her back. SO... I'll get as much done on here as I can, but like I said when I was preparing for my surgery last month, DON'T WORRY, this fic will NOT go unfinished, I promise:)
I keep forgetting to answer everyone who's asked me how I came up with the baby's name, so here goes: I looked through my (as of yet unused) baby name book and happened upon "Ainsley". I liked it, but wasn't sure until I decided to use "Rose" for a middle name. "Ainsley Rose Rabb" just had such a gorgeous ring to it, I thought so, anyway.
Oh yes, a big THANK YOU to everyone who helped me remember where Grams farm is located! As soon as I saw "Belleville", I remembered it. :)
Chapter 43:
"Hey" said Mac as Harm walked through the door. "How was your day?"
"Busy as hell" he replied, bending down over the back of the couch to give her a kiss. "I don't think I spent more than 5 minutes at my desk all day, it was crazy."
"You hungry?" she asked.
"Famished" he replied as he took off his jacket and loosened his tie, "what are we eating?"
"Spaghetti" answered Mac, "It'll be ready in 10."
"Great" said Harm, "where's Ainsley?"
"In her crib" said Mac, getting up to put the pasta in to boil. "She's been asleep for over an hour, so odds are she'll wake up about halfway through dinner."
"Probably so" replied Harm with a smile, "but that's OK."
"Oh, you won't need to call your Grams tonight" said Mac, "I found the church."
"Oh yeah" said Harm, "that's great. Where'd you find it?"
"Online" replied Mac "after I looked at the atlas some more and it dawned on me that it wasn't in Virginia, it was in Pennsylvania."
"Ah-ha" said Harm, popping the top on a Coke and taking a drink. "I guess that would explain why you couldn't find it in Virginia!"
"Indeed it would" agreed Mac. "It's in Mount Union, about 80 miles south of Belleville. I don't know why I was thinking it was in Virginia last night."
"Because you were tired and none of us think at our best when we're tired" answered Harm.
"Good point" said Mac. "Anyway, once I remembered where it was, I did a search for 'Prairie Garden Church Mount Union' and found a phone number."
"Call it?" asked Harm, swallowing down another gulp of his soda.
"Yep" said Mac. "I spoke with the secretary, her name's Evelyn, real sweet, and she said the church is available on December 31. She's sending me some paperwork and a little other information, but I really think this is the place."
"That's great, babe" said Harm, leaning over her shoulder to take a peek at the spaghetti sauce, not missing the opportunity to kiss her neck. Mac giggled a little as she felt his nose brush against her ear.
"Careful, sailor" she said, "don't start something you don't intend to finish."
"I never do" replied Harm with a twinkle in his eye.
"Go change out of that uniform before dinner" said Mac in a jovial tone, hoping to change the subject before they ended up with clothes strewn about the kitchen and an overcooked pot full of pasta. "I don't want to have to wash tomato sauce spots out of that shirt."
"Yes, ma'am" laughed Harm, thinking to himself as he walked down the hall how much he loved her.
"I'm really not ready for tomorrow" said Mac as they sat at the dinner table.
"I know" said Harm, "but at least it's only half days for the next month."
"Yeah" replied Mac, "but still it's gonna be an adjustment from being home with her all the time."
"I understand all too well" said Harm, "you might handle it better than you think, though."
"Oh, like you handled your first day back maybe?" retorted Mac.
"No" said Harm, "I'm hoping you'll do a lot better than I did."
"What if I don't, though?" asked Mac. "What if I'm just as upset and anxious as you were? I won't have the option of calling home and checking on her like you did."
"You can call the day care, babe" said Harm, "I'm sure they'll tell you anything you want to know. They're professionals, they handle situations like this all the time."
"And just what exactly do you mean by 'situations like this'?" queried Mac, her tone a bit on the defensive side.
"I simply mean" answered Harm "that they deal with nervous parents leaving their babies for the first time on a regular basis, and I'm sure they're used to - "
"To what?" asked Mac as she abruptly cut him off. "To paranoid, insecure first-time moms calling every half hour to make sure their babies are surviving without them?"
"Don't put words in my mouth, Mac" said Harm, growing defensive himself as the conversation drew on. "I never said anything about you being paranoid or insecure!"
"You implied it!" said Mac, feeling her face become hot.
"I did not!" said Harm, "and I don't like you saying I did!"
"Fine, whatever!" yelled Mac. She tossed her napkin into the middle of her half-cleaned plate and stood up from her chair.
"Mac" asked Harm, "why are you acting like this?" He didn't feel he'd done or said anything to provoke this outburst, and he really wanted to know why it happened.
"Gee, I wonder!" she answered, her voice filled with anger. She left the kitchen and stormed up the stairs, slamming the door to one of the guest rooms behind her.
"Shit" said Harm to himself as he slumped back down in his chair, running his hands through his hair. He wanted to go after her, but he knew she needed some time to cool off, and truthfully, so did he. Within a few moments, he heard Ainsley crying in the nursery.
"Way to go, Mac" he mumbled under his breath as he headed in to get the baby.
"Hey, sweetness" he said as he lifted Ainsley out of her crib. "Mommy woke you up, huh? I'm sorry. Shhhh… it's OK, daddy's got you…" He changed her diaper, then sat down with her in the glider rocker. She was quiet for a few minutes, but it didn't last long.
"Are you hungry?" he asked her, having no idea when her last feeding had been. He debated on taking her upstairs and asking Mac, but decided against it and headed to the kitchen instead.
"Daddy's gotta put you down for just a minute, Ainsley" he said as he placed the fussy baby into her swing. He walked into the kitchen and opened the freezer. Mac had been pumping her milk for a couple of weeks so she'd have some to take to the day care each day, and so Harm could begin helping out with the night time feedings. She'd been freezing it all, since she still nursed Ainsley as much as she could. He pulled a storage bag of milk from the freezer, checked the date to make sure it was one of the older ones, and plugged in the bottle warmer.
"I'm hurrying, baby, I'm hurrying" he called to Ainsley as her howls intensified. He set the milk into the warmer while he put a nipple and ring together for the bottle. When the milk was thawed and sufficiently warmed, he removed it from the warmer, took the clip off the top of the storage bag, and carefully slid the bag into the bottle, pulling the sides down over the top edge like Mac had shown him.
"It's almost done, baby girl" called Harm. He screwed the nipple and ring on tight, then pushed the air out of the bottle from the underside. He grabbed a clean burp cloth from the drawer next to the stove and hurried into the living room.
"Come here, Ainsley" he said, lifting the hysterical little girl from her swing. He sat with her on the couch and placed the bottle into her mouth, and she began sucking away.
"I dare say you were hungry, my love" he said, gently combing her fine, dark hair with his fingers. He hadn't given her very many bottles, only a half dozen or so within the last 2 weeks, but it fast became something he cherished. Ainsley emptied the bottle in less than ten minutes, and after he'd burped her, Harm decided to brave the storm and take her upstairs to Mac.
He knocked gently on the guest room door before opening it just a bit to look inside. There he saw Mac laying on the bed, her back to the door. He slowly opened the door and walked in.
"Mac" he said.
"What?" she replied. He could tell by her voice that she'd been crying…a lot.
"Someone wants to see her mommy" he said, sitting down at the foot of the bed with Ainsley.
Mac rolled over and looked at them as she did a quick check of her internal clock.
"Oh crap" said Mac, "she needs to eat."
"Already taken care of" said Harm as Mac was unbuttoning her shirt.
"You gave her a bottle?" asked Mac.
Harm nodded, saying a silent prayer that Mac wouldn't fly off the deep end over it.
"Oh" she replied. "Thanks."
"Welcome" said Harm.
"You should have brought her up" said Mac. "I could have fed her."
"I know you could have" he said, "but I decided you needed a little down time. You feelin' any better?"
Mac nodded unconvincingly.
"Here" said Harm, "let's go downstairs and spend some time with her like usual, then you can feed her before we put her down for the night, then you and I need to talk, OK?"
"Actually" said Mac, "I need about 20 minutes to pump, since she didn't nurse this last time, then I'll be down."
"Sure" said Harm, holding Ainsley down for Mac to give her a kiss on the top of her head.
…later that evening…
When Mac returned from putting the baby to bed, Harm was sitting on the couch. Two mugs of spiced tea were waiting on the coffee table. He was at one end of the couch, and she took a seat at the other end.
"Want some tea?" he asked.
"Sure" she said. He picked up a mug and handed it to her, taking the other for himself. They drank in silence for what seemed like hours before Mac finally broke the silence.
"I owe you an apology" she said, looking down at her tea.
"Yeah, I think so, too" said Harm. "You wanna tell me what happened?"
Mac took a deep breath, sat her mug back on the table and began to cry. Harm scooted over close to her and held her tight.
"I don't know what happened" she sobbed. "One minute we were talking and the next I'm handing you your head and stomping upstairs."
"Yeah, you were" said Harm, wiping away the tears as they rolled down her face. "Any idea why?"
Mac cried even harder, and Harm got his answer.
"It's OK to be scared to leave her, babe" he said. "I mean, look at me, I was a mess my first day back and she was at home with you. I'm worried about her going to day care, too, but I know she'll be fine."
"I know she will, too" sniffled Mac, "I just can't keep the 'what ifs' from eating me alive. What if she gets scared? What if she won't take her bottle? What if - "
"Try not to do that" said Harm gently. "We could work ourselves into such a panic over everything that might possibly happen when she's away from us that we'd never want to let her out of our sight, but that wouldn't be fair to her or to us."
"So you were calling me paranoid at dinner?" said Mac, reaching for a Kleenex.
"No, Mac, I wasn't" said Harm. "I don't think what you're feeling right now is anything close to paranoia. I think it's a mother's concern for her baby and a natural anxiety about going back to work, that's all."
"I guess you're right" she said, wiping her eyes again. "I shouldn't have torn into you like I did, though. I'm sorry, babe."
"It's OK" assured Harm. "I went through my own version of this 6 weeks ago, remember?"
"Yeah" said Mac. "You really think the day care will indulge me calling to check on her?"
"They damn well better!" said Harm, going into super-protective fiancé/father mode. "If they have any problems with it, you tell them to talk to me."
"Let's hope for everyone's sake that doesn't become an issue!" said Mac. Ordinarily, she would have gone into her speech about how she's a Marine and can take care of herself, and if anything came up at the day care that needed dealt with, she'd be capable of dealing with it, but she found enormous comfort this time in knowing that Harm would step in and deal with it.
"You gonna be OK tomorrow?" he asked her as he pulled her tight.
"No" she said honestly, "but I'll survive. Like you said at dinner, it's only a half day, I'll only be away from her for 5 hours, I can make it."
"I know you can" reassured Harm. "You want me to reheat your tea? Make you a snack since you left most of your dinner?"
"Now that you mention it" said Mac, "I could use a snack."
"What would you like?" he asked.
"Waffles?" she said tentatively.
"Waffles it is" said Harm, taking the tea mugs with him into the kitchen. While he worked on the waffles, Mac went to change into her pajamas and check on Ainsley.
"Mmm" she said when she returned to the kitchen, "those smell wonderful."
"Thanks" said Harm. "I made extras so you can have some for breakfast in the morning."
"Aww, that was sweet of you, babe" said Mac, walking over to give him a kiss. Harm handed her a plate with a waffle on it, and she grabbed the bottle of syrup on her way back to the table.
"How are they" he asked as he pulled the final waffle from the iron and unplugged it.
"Delicious as always" said Mac with her mouth full. Harm walked over to her and kissed the side of her lips.
Mac looked at him with a bewildered expression.
"You had syrup on your face" said Harm, smiling a bit.
"Oh, I did, huh?" replied Mac, putting another bite of waffle in her mouth.
"Yeah" said Harm, heading to the sink to wash up the few dishes he'd dirtied. When Mac finished her waffle, she carried her plate over and placed it in the sink.
"Thanks, babe" said Harm.
"Thank you for the snack" she said with a big yawn. "I'm gonna go finish getting ready for bed" she said. "I wanted to work on some more wedding stuff tonight, but it'll have to wait till tomorrow."
"Definitely so" replied Harm. "Go ahead, I'll be in as soon as I finish up here and check on Ainsley."
"I checked on her 20 minutes ago and she was crashed out" said Mac. "I'll go give her one more kiss on my way to bed."
"OK" said Harm. He put the Mac's plate into the dishwasher, checked to make sure the front door was locked, and headed for the nursery.
"My little sleeping beauty" he thought to himself as he looked at his daughter asleep in the crib. He leaned down and kissed her before making his way to the master bedroom around the corner. Mac was already in bed, so he was extra quiet as he undressed down to his boxers, pulled on a T-shirt, went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He walked carefully over to the bed and climbed in.
"Hey" whispered Mac as he was pulling the covers up.
"Sorry, did I wake you?" he asked. "I was trying to be quiet."
"I wasn't asleep" said Mac. "Did you peek in on Ainsley?"
"Yep" answered Harm, "she's out."
"Uh-huh" said Mac, "I wish we could all sleep so peacefully."
"Me, too" said Harm, rolling towards Mac's side of the bed to give her a kiss, "love you."
"I love you too" she replied, "but aren't you forgetting something?"
"What?" asked Harm, running through a mental checklist of everything he was supposed to do before bed.
"What you started while I was making dinner" said Mac. "Remember, I told you not to start something..."
"That I didn't intend to finish" said Harm, completing Mac's sentence.
"I believe your response to that was 'I never do'", said Mac.
"Well then" said Harm, rolling towards Mac's side of the bed again, "I can't break that record, now can I?"
"No way, sailor" said Mac.
He took her face in his hands, found her lips with his own and kissed her like neither had a care in the world…
A/N: I'll get the next chapter up as soon as I can, I promise:)