As he made his way down the corridors to the practice gym, John tried to dismiss Dr. McKay's statements as the workings of an overactive imagination and mistaken impressions.
"But Caldwell sees it?" John questioned under his breath. Then he shook his head dismissively. "Whatever that means."
He entered the gym before he quite realized that he had reached his destination. Teyla, dressed in her fighting garb, spoke without breaking her kata. "You are late, Colonel."
"I'm not…" John glanced at his watch.
Tyela raised an eyebrow in response, still not breaking her kata.
"…that late," he finished helplessly. He set his duffel down and pulled out his fighting sticks.
The Athosian leader ended her kata gracefully and turned to face John. "It is fine, John. I have taken to scheduling our training sessions accordingly." She smiled.
"I'll have you know that I have a perfectly good reason for being a little late, in the form of Rodney and his crazy theories," Colonel Sheppard protested, matching his stance to Teyla's as she fell into her fighting stance.
"Of course," the pretty Athosian replied as she twirled her sticks in her hands, circling the Colonel.
"I mean," John began. "McKay may be almost as brilliant as he thinks he is," he dodged a strike from Teyla. "But sometimes," he tried a feint that Teyla saw through easily. "Let's just say," he caught a strike from Teyla and parried with one of his own. "That sometimes he may be a little too smart for his own good."
"Are you certain that Dr. McKay is incorrect in these theories you speak of?" Teyla responded.
Unbidden, a memory of standing on the balcony with Elizabeth filled his thoughts. She had been letting her hair grow out and he remembered how he had thought that he liked it longer. He could remember her smile, the one that made his breath catch just a little. And most definitely, he could remember thinking that Elizabeth had the most beautiful eyes that he had ever seen.
Suddenly, John found himself flat on his back from a leg sweep that he had missed coming, so wrapped up was he in his thoughts. He sat up slowly and took Teyla's offered hand to help him stand. "I'm not sure, maybe he's right about some of it," Colonel Sheppard finally admitted. He resumed his fighting stance as Teyla did.
They began to circle each other once more.
"But why should Dr. McKay's theories bother you so much. Unless they are something dangerous, or something that may effect Atlantis or my people adversely?" The Athosian leader asked, worry in her voice for the both the people that she lead on the mainland, and for those she cared about in the city.
"They are definitely dangerous," John muttered without thinking, only realizing how badly it sounded when he saw Teyla's concerned expression. "Not that kind of dangerous," he quickly assured his friend. "Rodney's trying to horn in on Dr. Heightmeyer's territory."
At the prompting of Teyla's expression, "He's got some theories about Eliza…Dr. Weir," John explained.
The pretty Athosian nodded, and reassured that there was no impending threat, began to circle her opponent again. "And these theories are somehow dangerous?"
John gave her a wry grin. "They could be, if they were true. But I think Rodney's just seeing things that he wants to see."
"About Dr. Weir?" Teyla watched John closely as she circled. "And you perhaps, John," she added perceptively, striking him smartly on his arm as the Colonel dropped his guard.
John narrowed his eyes slightly. "He also said something about others sharing his theories; about how everyone, including Caldwell, can see something."
Teyla shrugged lightly, spinning the fighting sticks in her hands. "One does not become a wise leader without being observant, Colonel. One does not become a good leader without being able to 'see' things."
John suddenly stepped back and asked the Athosian leader, "Do you think there's something there? Do you think that Elizabeth feels something…about me?" For a moment, the Colonel's expression was completely open and unguarded.
Teyla lowered her fighting sticks and regarded her friend and team leader. "Do you, John?"
John considered the question. He thought about how sometimes he was certain that Elizabeth and he shared some unspoken sort of emotion. There were times that he saw a depth of feeling in her autumn colored eyes that he thought was more than feelings of friendship. Sometimes, it felt like sparks flared in the room around them. And there certainly seemed to be an attraction between them.
"That's the dangerous part, Teyla. Maybe she does, and maybe I feel the same." He sighed.
"I do not understand. How is that dangerous?" Teyla asked, clearly confused by the Colonel's response.
"I may not always agree with the Regs. But not following this one could lead to a whole world of trouble for everybody." At the prompting of Teyla's expression, Colonel Sheppard explained, "The military has some very definite rules about fraternatizing with a Commanding Officer."
"But Dr. Weir is not a part of your military," the Athosian responded simply.
"Maybe not," John conceded, "but I'm not sure the SGC would see it that way. I'm pretty sure they would say that that was splitting the hair a little thin. And even if they didn't…" he trailed off, going to where his duffel lay on the bench and putting his fighting sticks away. He sat down and Teyla joined him, setting her own sticks into her bag.
"Someone once said that all the greatest love stories are tragedies and that all love is unrequited. I'm starting to think that maybe those aren't just clichés," the military commander of Atlantis said quietly.
"Among my people, the only tragic love is that which is unfulfilled because fear prevents us from feeling it," Teyla responded simply. "Life has taught us that it can be many things: hard, beautiful, painful, joyous…and above all, fleeting." Her expression became shadowed as she thought of the terror of the Wraith and how the cullings had shaped her people for more generations than she wanted to remember.
She turned to her friend. "There is too little beauty in this life for us to deny it when it appears before us. And life is far too short to deny ourselves any part of living it." She rose and gently placed her hand on his shoulder in parting before leaving the gym, and Colonel Sheppard to his thoughts.
God knew how he wished Teyla were right. The temptation to damn the consequences was certainly there. He knew that it would be far too easy to forget the Regs and try to have something with Elizabeth. He sighed heavily.
John really was the hopeless romantic that Elizabeth, when she had been possessed by Phoebus, had called him. It would just take one touch, one real kiss, a single admission, for him to cross a line with her. If she so much as beckoned, he was chagrinned to realize that he would follow, heart in hand, irregardless of the fact that in this case, not just his heart might get broken.
"Damn," he swore feelingly. "Johnny boy, are you stupidly falling in love with Dr. Weir? 'Cause that would be… with Elizabeth… that would be…"
He would have damned Rodney and Teyla too, for making him admit the possibility to himself, but he knew sooner or later it would have come up. Sooner or later his heart would have forced his mind to acknowledge it. Their words had just lead to it being a little sooner rather than later.
"Damn," he murmured this time. But before he could get any further in his thoughts, a call came over his radio.
"Colonel Sheppard," Elizabeth said, "I trust that you didn't forget our meeting to discuss how best to proceed in continuing to explore the city." Her voice, even over the radio, sounded playfully sardonic and amused. "As it was, after all, your suggestion."
"I'll be right there," John responded. "Just give me a chance to clean up a little first, now that I've finished my sparring lessons with Teyla."
"I'll meet you in my office then in a half an hour," Dr. Weir concluded the call.
John rose from the bench, grabbed his bag, and headed back to his quarters to clean up. And in a little under a half an hour, he strode into Dr. Weir's office.