… Ah, the anticipated (or not?) chappie five is out. Enjoy!
Chapter 5 … Six Drunk Dog Demons and a Playboy Magazine
Kagome couldn't help but feel a little bad. After all, the Inuyashas had saved her, and to thank them, she had given them a nice, big "sit." Although she did feel guilty, she was glad to be back in her own time for a while. She needed to get caught up on homework and such. School was becoming quite a bother, though.
Today she had a busy agenda. She had to go to a friend's house after school to get caught up on note taking, and that would take forever, or at least close to it. Then she had to start on her tedious homework at the library. After that, she would finally get the chance to go home and crawl in bed, not to be disturbed. That was the plan, anyway.
And so she began it.
Meanwhile, the Inuyashas weren't too pleased by that "sit." (But I'm sure you all ready knew that.) As they were recovering, they complained openly.
"Feh. Grrrummr…"
"Argh! Remind me to conk her on the head when she gets back, the little—"
"Darn. I didn't get to see up Kagome's skirt this time."
"Wahhh! That hurt!"
"I want some jello!"
"What's jello? And aren't we supposed to be complaining openly as we are recovering?"
"Huh!"
Shippo peeked out from behind the rock. He was actually quite entertained watching Inuyasha argue with himself.
"What are we going to do with those clowns?" Miroku sighed.
"Clowns! We were just cruelly sat by some freakishly unfair girl!" angry Inuyasha retorted.
"And I want some jello!"
"Hey," normal Inuyasha cut in, "I have an idea we can use to get back at Kagome."
The other six Inuyashas twitched their ears with interest. They listened intently as they were told the idea.
Afterwards:
"…so, we'll go to the present time and do something really mean to her?" scaredy Inuyasha summed up.
"We can steal her panties!" perverted Inuyasha said excitedly.
Miroku drooled at the thought of seeing this, earning him a slap on the cheek from Sango.
"What makes you think we'll let you do that to Kagome?" Shippo blurted out.
Angry Inuyasha gave him one simple, intense glare, and Shippo backed down immediately.
"U-uh…have fun," he stammered.
So Miroku, Sango, and Shippo watched as the Inuyashas all jumped down the well with thoughts of revenge. It would be a loooong night for poor Kagome, they knew.
Meanwhile…back in the present time…
Sota was taking a walk around the yard. School had just ended half an hour previously, but no one was home except him. His mother was doing some volunteer work at some shelter, his grandpa was buying some medicine for Buyo (who somehow managed to get a jellybean stuck up his nose), and Kagome was busy studying all night. That left him alone to wander around the yard and procrastinate doing homework. Goody.
He decided to sit down in the grass facing the well Kagome often went down. He wondered about it and went into daydreams about himself entering the feudal era through the well and saving the day. It made a big, goofy grin spread across his face.
But that grin quickly faded. He saw something come out of the well. It was…Inuyasha! What the heck was he doing here?
"I-Inuyasha?" he stuttered. "I-is that y…you?"
He stood up hastily. It was Inuyasha. There was no mistaking those puppy dog ears and the red kimono.
"Inuyasha!" he shouted. "What are you doing here? Kagome isn't here right now."
Inuyasha started crying like a three-year-old. Sota collapsed in surprise. He thought, what the hey?
"They're making me—sniff, sniff—do something mean to Kagome with them! They're meanines! Wahhhhh!" Inuyasha bawled.
Sota slowly recovered. "Inu…Inuyasha? Um…AHGH!"
He promptly fell over again. He knew he had to be seeing things. If Sesshomaru hadn't stolen his Tylenol, he would've run for it at that moment. What he saw was unbelievable—another Inuyasha!
"Feh. Crybaby. Get over yourself," the other Inuyasha snorted, shoving the crying one.
"UGH! It was scary in that well!"
Yet another Inuyasha appeared. Sota was flipping out. Had somebody given him some type of hallucinogen drug without his knowledge? Was that the exclamation for the "illusion" Inuyashas?
"Move outta the way, idiot!"
"But I want some jello!"
"Wha—? Fine. Stick your finger up your nose and find some!"
"Really? Okay!"
Now that was something Sota never thought he'd see—Inuyasha picking his nose. Why was he seeing five Inuyashas anyway? Were they twins or clones or something?
"C'mon. Let's go find Kagome's panties, all ready!"
A sixth Inuyasha popped out of the well. Great.
Sota finally found himself able to speak again. "Uhm…hi?"
All six of the Inuyashas glanced over to Sota and then continued their arguments. They looked rather comical, actually.
"Can someone please tell me what's going on?" Sota asked loudly so the Inuyashas would be sure to hear him.
"He told me that my boogers were jello!"
"Where's Kagome's underwear?"
"OOOHHHHHHHH! BUTTERFLY! HEEEELP!"
"Uh, let me rephrase that," Sota said hesitantly. "Why are there six of you?"
All six Inuyashas began talking at once.
"There was this scary Roku dude—"
"Jello!"
"That asswipe split us—"
"I was too busy distracted by Kagome's bu—"
"It makes me sad to talk about it! Wah!"
"That isn't jello, you mor—"
Sota couldn't decipher a word of it. He shrugged and led the six dog demons in the house.
"Here you go. Just stay here until Kagome gets back. She'll sort this out," he said. "Oh, and DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING."
Sota was about to go to his bedroom and finally start his homework (so he wouldn't have to get stuck with the six weirdos) when one of the Inuyashas raised his hand.
"Teacher-Sensei! Teacher-Sensei!"
Sota sighed. "Um, it's just Sota. I'm not your—"
"I have a question! I have a question, Just Sota-Sensei!"
Sota sighed once more. "Fine. Fire away."
The odd, perky Inuyasha exclaimed, "Do you have any jello?"
"Yeah. There should be some in the fridge."
After saying that, Sota hurried away. He didn't want to remain any longer. ( I don't blame him, either.)
After he was gone, cheerful Inuyasha sniffed his way to the kitchen. He peered all around him and then asked, "What's a fridge?"
Scaredy Inuyasha shrugged. "I dunno. It sounds kinda scary, though."
Angry Inuyasha poked through some cabinets. "Everything sounds scary to you, you chicken."
"Oooo, this smells good." Perverted Inuyasha held up a large bottle of liquid.
Crybaby wiped away his tears and took a whiff. "Ahhh, you're right."
Cheerful Inuyasha grinned. "Maybe it's jello!"
He took a big sip of it. His grin broadened.
"This is good stuff!" he exclaimed. "This is even better than the time when normal Inuyasha had a dream he was kissing Kagome and accideghf—"
Normal Inuyasha covered his mouth and muttered angrily, "That's confidential."
While this was going on, perverted Inuyasha took a large sip of the juice a.k.a. wine. He seemed to really enjoy it too. Soon all of the Inuyashas except normal Inuyasha had gulped down quite a bit of the stuff.
"Hey, don't drink it all!"
"Heh…this is good…"
"C'mon, normal, try some!"
"Hey, look! Another bottle!"
Normal Inuyasha watched as his many doubles gulped down another bottle. He, however, refused to try any. That's why he stayed in the kitchen while the others led an excavation to the basement where they sniffed more bottles of wine.
Pretty soon, there were at least ten empty bottles. Normal Inuyasha observed that the others were beginning to act a little…well, silly. Their voices were beginning to slur, too. He figured that jello was pretty odd if that was indeed what they were drinking.
Eventually, normal Inuyasha lost count of how many bottles were now empty. The Inuyashas were really beginning to act goofy now.
Normal Inuyasha began to grow curious. He craved to try the stuff, too. So when no one was looking, he reached over and smelled a half full bottle. It did smell pretty good—strong and good. He found himself taking a sip, and an hour later, he was as drunk as the rest of the Inuyashas. What a sight that was!
"I luff luffly Kalome…" scaredy Inuyasha sang off-key. "I luff her…Kalome…"
"It's Kagome, stupid jello demon," cheerful Inuyasha said as he ran into a wall.
"I thought it was…um…hippo or somethin'," crybaby remarked as he hiccupped.
"WHEEEEEEEEEE!" Angry Inuyasha didn't look very angry for once. He was running around the house, occasionally tripping over himself.
"Oooo…let's cut our hair!" Normal Inuyasha suggested. "Kalo-hippo will loooove it. I luff luffly Kalo-hippo…"
He flopped onto the couch laughing for no apparent reason. Just when he was about to snip off three-fourths of his long, shiny hair, though, Sota barged in.
"What's all the racket you guys are making? It's nine 'o clock! Quiet down!" he snapped.
But then he analyzed the situation. Perverted Inuyasha was sleeping on the floor with a bottle of wine in his hand. Cheerful Inuyasha was pretending to be some jello monster. Crybaby Inuyasha was pretending to be Koga as he gulped a bottle of wine down. Were they…drunk? Sota's jaw dropped and his eyes bulged.
"What have you guys done? Kagome can't see you like this; she'll fry me!" he complained.
The Inuyashas didn't listen. "I luff luffly K…"
Sota then quickly ordered the Inuyashas to go outside so they couldn't get ahold of anymore wine. (They had all ready drank half of the total supply.) The Inuyashas were all too drunk to deny him. They did everything he said, and so they found themselves outside. Big mistake on Sota's behalf.
They didn't stay in the yard for very long. They jumped into another person's yard and found a huge dumpster. They were drunk, so they jumped into it and went swimming in the trash. That's where they discovered the item they would treasure in their minds even when not drunk…
…They got their hands on a Playboy magazine.
And that's when Kagome found them. She came home, tired and exhausted completely only to find six drunk dog demons admiring a Playboy magazine. She couldn't believe her eyes.
"I wish that girl was Kalo-hippo," perverted Inuyasha pointed to one of the pictures.
"Ha, ha, ha. Luffly Kalo—OOF!"
Kagome punched normal Inuyasha on the head. Flames were present in her eyes. Basically, she was one very unhappy camper.
"INUYASHA!" she yelled.
There was a pause. The Inuyashas knew what was coming next.
"SIT!"
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
"Ugh…my head," angry Inuyasha covered his eyes with his hand.
"Don't talk so loud. It hurts…" scaredy Inuyasha mumbled.
"I feel like I'm gonna barf," crybaby Inuyasha groaned.
"Not on the Playboy magazine!" perverted Inuyasha exclaimed with his head flat on his pillow.
"That was some bad jello," cheerful Inuyasha complained.
Kagome stood over them. "I fixed you breakfast. I don't care if you're having a hangover; you're eating it!"
"What if it's so gross that we don't wanna eat it?"
Kagome glared. Wrong reply, she thought with a scowl.
"Sit, boys!" she said loudly.
And being sat while having a hangover is twice as bad.
A/N: I hope this chapter isn't too bad. It sure did take me forever to finish typing it, though, all thanks to school and tedious homework.
NEXT CHAPTER: The Accursed New Moon
(The hint from the last chapter is 'the waning moon.' Get it now? Oh, and AnimeLover45, great guessing! You're right!)
Well, here's my favorite part of each chapter: the side story!
Sota's Zany Daydream
(This is an excerpt from when Sota was daydreaming about being a hero in feudal Japan and saving the day and all.)
evil stereotypical demon: "Muahahaha! I will kill you all with my cheese grater of despair! Tee hee hee hee heeee!"
Kagome (gasping in utter terror): "Oh, no!"
Inuyasha (puzzled): "What's a cheese grater? Is it a brand of Ramen?"
Sota (heroic music plays in backround): "Don't worry; I'll save you! Do-do-doooooo!"
(pulls out extremely heavy, fully loaded paintball gun and begins to fire at the demon)
evil stereotypical demon: "OOOOHHHHHHH! NO! My cheese graters don't have a warranty for paintballs! UGH!"
Kagome: "Thanks, Sota. You're the best!"
Inuyasha: "You're my hero! Can I have your autograph?"
Author: "Okay, now I need a Tylenol…"