Youth and Innocence
Chapter 12
Standard disclaimer: All characters belong to Kohta Hirano and his publishers. I have no stake in them.
12.
Leung continued to crush the stress ball in his right hand. He'd watched as Integra came back into the mansion. Stress? Jumping Jesus, he felt stressed. Mentally, spiritually and physically he felt like he was coming apart. There were just two things that could soothe him and he couldn't indulge in either one. With seventeen years of being clean, being straight? No, getting the monkey off his back was too hard, he wouldn't throw that out over a bloody vampire trick. He squeezed the stress ball, feeling the crunch of the filling inside and his fingers pushing through the resilient material until it finally gave way. The falling stuffing reminded him of rice and he smiled at the memory of killing a vampire who stooped to count grains from a rice bag many years ago. Legend had it that some were so obsessive they had to count every last grain. It doesn't usually work, but this one time rice saved about fifty lives.
He cursed softly as he had to pick up the mess on the hallway floor. His other worry was so troubling, there was no stress ball in the world that could stand up to it. Seventeen years ago he'd faced both of his problems, cold turkey. Arthur had helped him then. He owed so much to the Hellsings, that was where the mental anguish was coming from. She was his ideal victim. What was he doing thinking such things about the child of Arthur and Dayita? 'D' was like an angel, Leung sighed. Now she was one he supposed. If anyone deserved to be, at least. He'd never know not where he was going. Pulling on all of his self controls, he crossed the hall to Integra's office.
"Come in," Integra called to the person knocking. She felt some embarrassment as Agent Leung entered. Having never found out when their time was to be she'd sort of hoped he'd forget too. He didn't look at all like the wreck he did last night. Today he was the professional she'd always seen him as. His bald head gave him a sleek, dangerous look, but his smile tended to make her smile back. "I'm so sorry, what time were we to..."
Leung raised an eyebrow, "What time, Miss? Oh, I was told one, but no worry, boss," it was frustrating, not knowing how to address this woman/child. "We can start your class whenever you're free."
"Oh," she glanced at the clock, hating how long she'd made him wait. Her stomach rumbled. "Have you eaten?"
"Yes Miss," he lied. His stomach had been spasming since last night and he didn't dare try to put anything in it beyond water and rice. "But if you would like to get something..."
"No, no, I'm fine," without Mary to baby her, Integra thought she might just as well push on, "can we begin now? Where should we go?"
Leung smiled and rubbed his head before speaking. It was one way of pushing back his demons, "We have a practice room, you know where that is, right? There isn't a ladies locker, but we can take turns. Do you have anything to work out in?"
"Yes, I'll go get them and meet you there then!" She stood, feeling excited to finally get her hands dirty, in a manner of speaking. Much more interesting than these police reports, she thought as she tossed one back into the 'in' pile. Integra practically ran to her father's room, waving her goodbyes.
When she arrived back downstairs, Integra was surprised to bump into Mr. Draper standing just inside the doorway. "Oh, I didn't see you," she mumbled, looking around.
"Not a problem, Miss," his accent pinned him forever as a lad from Liverpool, though he'd not been back since his twenties. He cringed to think of how long ago that was now. "You looking for Pat then? He asked you to wait a bit, he's having some trouble, G.I., I'm thinking." To her blank look he added, "Gut rot? Tummy trouble."
Integra nodded tentatively at that. Her stomach was fluttery as well, but that was nerves. She pulled up Mr. Draper's file in her mind, hoping to find something to talk about. "So he asked you to tell me?" That got her a nod from the tall man. "Well, um, you've been doing switchboard for us lately?"
He pursed his lips before answering, "yeah, fair bit. Since your father- well, I am sorry about that," he didn't know how to say it and she seemed a bit put out, so he stumbled on, "well, for a while now, but I get to go out tonight." Her nod wasn't enthusiastic, but she wasn't the one who'd been answering the bloody phones for months on end. "Well, I'm pleased anyway. Reynolds is letting me tag along, not one of the big cases, but I'll pick off ghouls anytime!" He shifted his weight, feeling overly tall around such a tiny girl. "I was just here to ask Pat if he'd take over comm tonight. You know, since last night was so... he might need a break. He asked me to let you know... about his... delay."
Integra didn't know what else to say, so they both stood, looking out at the padded floor mats and avoiding eye contact in the mirrors that lined the wall. "Well, um, I did get ready a bit quickly..." There was one odd thing in his file, "so, you have a degree in theology?" She saw his face brighten a bit.
"Yeah. You know, it comes in handy now and then, more than you might expect." He smiled at her, thinking that at her age he wouldn't have even tried to chat with some doddy old man. Good breeding, he guessed. "You know, vampires don't fit easily into our typical religious view-"
"Sorry, Ma'am," Leung interrupted as he came out of the changing room. "Thanks, Stephan! Now, Miss, shall we begin?" He waved a hand to the blue mat and she dutifully moved, smiling at Draper who took that as his cue to leave. "Right, now don't go thinking we're gonna do martial arts, because we're not. I'll be teaching you self defense and then later combat. First, limber up."
Integra nodded. His style had changed, there was none of the very polite man she had seen earlier. She tried to follow him as he stretched and appreciated that he wasn't as tall as the rest of these men. He was taller than she, but maybe half a foot. "What's the difference?" She'd asked politely, but he looked insulted anyway.
"Different disciplines, Integra. One you need a proper teacher for," he'd had his family and they hadn't even been enough. As an adult he sought out schools, but none here were tough enough. He'd once considered leaving Hellsing to start his own, but that was before his problems had manifested. Now he wouldn't consider being around so many... Even if he'd restricted classes to grown men, people in England wouldn't pay to be bruised up after every session, his family's concept of conditioning, toughening. "No, don't bend your knees, more like that, yes." It helped him to think of her as another agent. He often worked and sparred with them, no trouble there. "And between self defense? Well, you try to survive one way, and try to kill with the other. They're related, of course, but still, different strategies."
She laughed, full of confidence at her ability to cheat death. "Well, I want to learn it all." She looked him in the eye, her peripheral vision catching their reflections as he faced her. In one, she saw his hand reach into his pocket, a glint of light was her only warning but she moved away as he brought the hand back up, slashing at the air.
"Good," he said softly as he crouched low, putting him directly at her level. "Now try to disarm me."
Integra tried to trust her instincts, which were telling her to run but they were in conflict with her rational mind which said he was her teacher, he wouldn't hurt her. She eyed him warily. "Is this combat or defense?" Her voice tight with tension.
Leung swallowed before answering, "Defensive. You cannot outrun me and I am armed. Now Integra, disarm me." He held his hand out farther, an awkward position designed to lure her off balance. She lunged and he was able to grab, turn and arm lock her in a split second. "You crossed in front of my body, boss. That leaves you open here," he used his knife hand to point at her jugular vein, "and here," he pointed at her chest, under the arm he was lifting, not too tightly he hoped as it was the arm she'd been shot in, "and here," her stomach this time. His small switchblade glided across her t-shirt, making her aware of how it stuck to her skin. Mary had obtained a training bra for her, but Integra didn't think she needed it yet. Watching the dagger move across her breasts, she swore she'd never go without it now.
He was sure she could feel his racing heart, but was careful to keep his hard on away from her legs. He spun her free content that she had learned something, but uncertain if it was what he'd intended. "Now, if your enemy is vampire, it'll try to move you to expose pulse points, but humans don't care. All vulnerability needs protecting. Again."
Integra was too shocked to move at first. She'd fenced competitively and only days ago she'd faced guns aimed and even one shot at her, but the danger he presented seemed to be worse. Why? Well, who used a live blade in the first class? Hellsing agents, she guessed. She took stock of their positions again. He held out his hand with the switch blade outstretched. This time she aimed a kick at the hand, but he read it easily and caught her, lifting the leg and forcing her down, his knife again tracing lines as he spoke in his controlled manner. After several more attempts she figured out that what scared her was the effort he seemed to put into staying calm. She shivered involuntarily.
"Are you all right, Lady Hellsing?" Walter's voice was a welcome addition to the room, she thought while being head locked by her instructor. Leung let her up, shifting his legs in his baggy sweats and turning to the doorway. "Agent Leung," he greeted his comrade calmly, no hint of concern in his voice, though it was there in his mind. He knew a crazed look when he saw one. He unfolded a metal chair and sat to the side. "Carry on, I can wait. We need to palaver, Patrick."
Integra let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Walter wouldn't let her get hurt, she thought, but then wondered where such certainty came from. She looked at the knife, glinting in the harsh light. "Again, Miss Integra," Leung instructed. She didn't want to, really. A quick look between Walter and her teacher gave nothing away on either face. Leung took his stance again, hand tantalizingly outstretched.
She should be able to get that damned knife, she chided herself, what was she afraid of? Integra crouched low, like the agent. She lunged, aiming a fist at his chest, not going for the obvious attack on his hand. His surprise may or may not have been real, she wasn't sure, but the trace of blood seeping through his shirt was. He'd been scraped up pretty bad there last night. "Oh, I didn't mean to..." she stopped at his smile. He seemed pleased at her attack and bowed to her.
"I will check your training schedule, Ma'am and see where you can fit this in amongst your classes," he was back to being her perfect employee, the gleam she'd seen in his eyes gone.
Relief flooded her. Was every man insane? She'd have to ask Mary, though that hadn't gone so well the last time they'd had "the talk." Maybe one of her friends would be able to tell her, they seemed to talk about boys incessantly. Still... they lived in another world. Would Skip be able to tell her? Could she talk to him about the craziness of the old men around her? Probably not, but thinking about him made her wonder if he was thinking about her. There was time to stop by the stables before dinner... "Thank you, Agent Leung," she said as he toweled off and chatted with Walter. She slipped out as quickly as she could, running up to her room to change.
Skip's father, Mr. Riley, was sitting out in front of the stables smoking. He stomped out his fag as she came up to the entrance. "Hallo, Lady Hellsn'g. Goin' fur a rahde?" He grinned a craggy smile at her. His cheeks were redder than normal. Blushing or was he upset about the animals?
"Well, I thought I'd stop by," she thought for a second, "to see Bennie." She passed him, her own slight blush starting. The smells of the barn greeted her. She breathed deeply, it was a soothing blend of animals, feed and human scents. It smelled of life. She'd forgotten about her father's stallion Antaka, an older horse now getting ornery. He whinnied as she passed his stall. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a carrot, it was for Bennie but she had others. She stretched her hand out to the charger.
"No!" Skip's voice startled her and the carrot fell just in front of the stall. The black stallion kicked his forelegs against the wooden gate in anger as his head arched back. "Sorry 'bout that, Miss Integger," he said, raising a hand toward the stall, where the horse continued to complain. "Whoa, thar, easy boy," he made a soft sound in his throat and the horse stomped its hooves. It echoed his noise and turned its head to the side, watching them. "He's been a bit off since, well, fer a week or so, ma'am, biting fingers an' all." Skip smoothed his unruly hair and it immediately sprang back up.
Integra stepped back, looking down the barn at Bennie's stall. "Is she ready? I could use a good run today."
"Oh aye, she's been waytn' for ya," he smiled. Integra noticed his grin was a little lopsided and decided that made it a little cute. There was a loud crash; Antaka again kicked against the wood. She backed away farther as Skip made clicking noises with his tongue. "Ah'll get 'im some treat, no worries, Miss." He put a hand on her back to lead her toward her horse.
The warmth of his hand was appealing, but she didn't think he should be so bold, so she walked a bit faster and he dropped it. "Can you please?" she asked gesturing for him to help lift the saddle off the side of the stall. Bennie was bridled up and snickered at her as she entered, rubbing her hand on the mare. With his help, she was leading the gray horse out in no time. He walked her to the ring, then leaned on the gate to watch.
"Skip!" his father's voice boomed, "Ah'm in dar office, ya need owt." She saw Skip give a wave and turn back to her as she got Bennie up to a trot. Riding felt good, like it usually did, and it wasn't at all uncomfortable to have Skip there. The barn melted away as she and the horse became one creature, her goals echoed in the animal's movements. There was joy in Bennie's response to her firm direction.
After her ride, she felt like the world made sense again. The crazy old men in her life were forgotten, at least for a few minutes, while she and Skip got Bennie settled for the evening. Her warm feeling of teamwork carried over to Skip and she didn't protest when he put his hand on the small of her back again. They walked out together, stopping in front of her father's horse was behaving now. "Ah'll take 'm out inna bit," Skip boasted. Integra wasn't sure anyone should ride the steed anymore, but he did need exercise.
"Well, I'd better get back, getting a touch hungry," her stomach reminded her with a little gurgle. She watched Skip lean forward awkwardly, his face looming in front of hers. Good Lord, was he trying to kiss her? She pulled her head back, but he had his eyes closed and kept coming closer. She felt his warm breath mixing with hers. Well, why not? She was grown up now after all. She leaned up to him and their lips touched. It wasn't unpleasant, but not the magical moment she'd heard about. His lips parted and a tongue pressed up against her lips. Integra wanted to pull away now, but he wrapped his arms around her neck. This was too gross! With his lips smashed against hers, she clenched her teeth. His eyes fluttered open and he murmured something, then closed them again giving her little mouth little kisses. She examined his far from perfect skin and compared it to the flawless white face she'd touched this morning, the lips, soft and cool. Integra imagined how they would feel against her. Skip's tongue again pushed and she thought about struggling free, she really did. Something in her body disagreed and her mouth opened for him. At that moment, Antaka reared up, crashing his hooves against his gate, smashing it to bits. The sound drew both Integra and Skip's attention, just as the massive body slammed them down. His arms released Integra quickly and she screamed, moving away from the terror of the horse stepping on the boy. His father came running full tilt, grabbing the large creature by the mane. The horse let himself be led away by the man as others came running into the barn, some with guns drawn, but a feeling in her stomach said it was too late. Integra watched Skip's blood soak into the wood flooring. She stood, a sea of calm amid the chaos of the moment, certain that something was dying inside her as Mr. Bennett's warning came back, "He's not a pet, Miss."