A/N: Okay, its supposed to be funny, and I try! I swear. Just poking fun at one of my favorite shows. Hopefully I can stick to it and do a whole season. And I know this idea of a Diary is old and has been beat around the head a lot, but I like poking fun! And this is the best way to do it! Although, I might try a Character POV some time... we shall see! Enjoy.
-MythDreamer
Disclaimer: LOST isnt mine, sadly.
Diary of a Deranged Island Castaway
Chapter One - Pilot Part 1
Blasted plane crashed on an island that appears to be uninhabited, however I suspect that there is a resort for rich people somewhere. I shall use my mental powers to get in. When I find it... where was I?...
On an island.
Any ways, hot guy in a suit ran around after the crash, trying to save every one. Didn't go so well. Then there was the Brit guy, who kept running for the bath room on the plane, (suspect he either has diarrhea or is stoned. Or both.), but he was looking around like a kid who lost his mommy and he nearly got smashed by the plane when it blew up. Every one settled down to TV Dinners after hero-guy Jack took his shirt off (did I mention RAWR?), and talked that chick Kate into sewing him up. I was totally grossed out, and left them alone, considering I know he was in no shape to get in on, regardless of how she was looking at him.
And did I mention the bald man who went around shoving his foot in peoples faces and saying "Look! Look, I can wiggle my toes!"? I suspect he has been smoking hash while the Brit was doing his business with the diarrhea.
Also, crazy Toe-Man's feet stink. I suspect he has Athletes foot.
Later, after it got dark and everyone got comfy, (there was lots of cuddling. Hick guy who is waaaay to tan not to have spent some time at the salon... and Iraqi, who is also amazingly hot, slipped off talking, I suspect them of cuddling.); any ways, after everyone settled down, this weird thing started throwing trees in the darkness. It was PITCH BLACK, but we ALL SAW IT! (Of course we all saw it, its only like one of the greatest sic-fi movies ever made... RAWR... you did see it, didn't you? Oh well... un-literate anti-sci-fi people.). So then, unwisely in my opinion, we all LAID DOWN AND WENT TO SLEEP.
But, I'm not Dr. Jack Shephard, so my opinion that we should all throw ourselves into the ocean before the Beast gets us, was ignored.
Slept pretty good, except the Korean lady kept talking in her sleep. I wonder if her husband knows she speaks English?
Other Questions to Muse on:
Why does the 'rock god', Charlie, look like Pippin from Lord of the Rings?
Why on earth is that chick, Shannon, letting her brother cuddle with her like that? And seriously, I don't think their even related...
Did I mention that her 'brother', Boon, is a total twit? Lifeguard my ass.