Dumbledore & Fawkes Through The Years

(One-Shot)

Disclaimers: (sings Queen's song "I Want It All") I own it all. I own it all. I own it all. & I own it NOW!

Not!

AN: OK here's the one-shot of Fawkes, based on a series of 6 pictures. It's divided into 6 parts. Please be aware that both the pictures & this One-Shot contain the MAIN spoiler for Harry Potter & The Half-blood Prince.

Inspired by the six pictures of "caladan_dd" on livejournal: Dumbledore and Fawkes (different moments in time).

Summary: Fawkes reflects on life with Dumbledore.

The Phoenix: I visit few if any humans. I never stay long. I come to those who are wise beyond years & destined to do great things. I am the Immortal. I do not stay long.

(1) I came to you on a Christmas Eve. You stared at me, surprised to find my Golden Egg among the presents. You watched over me, keeping me warm under the tree, until I hatched into the Mortal world. My first memory is of yells & water hissing. Apparently, I had set the pine on fire & you had it in your head to put both of us out. I was drenched & my first ashes stuck to me but you dried me off. I was soon perched on your arm. You gave me a name; Fawkes. I've never had a name before.

We went everywhere together, down town, to school. You showed me off to all your friends. Your little brother made fun of us. Maybe he was jealous of me or the attention you got because of me. Maybe he was too young to understand me. Either way, I was annoyed. One day, I left your arm & dug my talons into Abe's. I made him scream like a girl! I left him to tend to his marks. You didn't approve however & glared at me through those moon spectacles. You were mature for your age. I've never visited anyone so young before.

I decided to stay a little longer ...

(2) You were always reading one book or another. I soon found out you were a daring young man, who one day became interested in Dragons. You even went on a few quests, trying to find out uses for them. Do you have any idea how many times I burst into flame because of you? Half the time it was the Dragon's fault! I'd squawk of danger at you from among the ashes. You'd only laugh at me, mere chick that I was.

But we always made up for it over a bowl of oatmeal by the fire. I'm willing to bet my Golden Feather that you never noticed I was a chick most of the time, perched on the bowl's edge. I'm willing to bet because you'd never notice the pile of ashes I'd shake off into your side of the bowl. (Forgive me a cruel chuckle!)

I decided to stay a little longer ...

(3) You were a bad influence on me. I started to get bolder myself. I remember the day you were called to be the next Headmaster of Hogwarts. You were hurrying around the house to get ready, frantic & excited.

You forgot my water that day.

In revenge, I entered your room to steal you best pair of socks. I didn't do it very well, hiding one at a time. You caught me when I had gone back for the second one. I remember the conversation that took place.

"FAWKES!" You yelled behind me. "NOOO!"

"Uh-oh." I looked around, sock still hanging in my beak. I tried not to burst into flame from sheer fright.

"I'm already late, now more than ever thanks to you!" You glared at me through your moon-shaped spectacles.

I did something I never had before. I lied for the first time in my Immortality. "I'm just putting them back. See it was a … er … owl. YES! Owl! She … or he, I do not know or care … took them & I took them back & … well … what I mean is …" I was no good at lying, I knew. In the end, all I could do was chirp.

… & burst into flame.

You swept up every last one of my ashes & put them in my firebowl under my perch. Even as a pile of ashes I could still hear your laughter. I was never in any real trouble like I had thought. I never needed to lie. I now hang my head in shame.

I decided to stay a little longer ...

(4) We had finally gotten through our first year at Hogwarts. We went into the Forbidden Forest to the Lost Lagoon, left over from the once great lake, to celebrate. Well, you said you wanted some piece & quiet. I called it celebrating. All you did was pull out your Headmaster's Manual to check things off.

I, on the other hand, was excited to be among my own kind. Not another Phoenix, for I am the only one, but I met other beasts of magic, such as Unicorns & Specters. I've never actually gotten around to coming to the Forbidden Forest yet. You'd think being immortal would mean lots of time on your talons but no; I'm too busy taking care of you!

We stayed late into the afternoon before finally picking up & heading home.

I decided to stay a little longer ...

(5) Much longer. Over the years, we defeated the Dark Wizard, Grindelwald together. We built up an Order together. You named it after me. I'd blush but ... I wouldn't want to get ashes over your nice new robe. (I roll my eyes at the thought ... ) But ... we suffered losses as well. The most profound were the Potters.

At least, their son survived.

At least, the traitor was caught.

Or, so we thought … turns out, we had captured the wrong one. But it is too late now & all any of us can do is stand by & watch the innocent fall out of sight. Why didn't I do anything? Why did I not realize we blamed the wrong one? An Immortal never makes mistakes. But I did.

I sit quietly on my perch, watching "the boy who lived" rip your office apart. I started to grow a little nervous with his temper … for I knew that he would soon direct it towards me, but he continued yelling at you. I start to grow frustrated; why doesn't he yell at me? Does he even remember me? Or perhaps, he does remember ... how I managed to fail in the Serpents Chamber. How I just stood by whilst the Basilisk bit him in its final moments of life. Maybe that's why he's no longer talking to me.

I'm the Immortal. I could … no, should have helped. But I choked at the last minute. Harry thought Remus didn't do anything? Remus thought, he himself, didn't do anything? What about me? What did I do? I'm to blame. I didn't do anything either, Harry. Scream at me … please? I deserve it as much as he does. I wasn't even able to help your parents.

But he didn't … I wonder if he even noticed me. He soon left & so did you, not even bothering to set the place in order. Now alone, I feel lost. I let everyone down. I shouldn't have, yet, I did. How many Aurors died over the years? From your first to Sirius. I was unable to save any. I can't even help the Order you built for me. I failed as the Phoenix.

For once in my immortality, I wish death would take me forever.

I burst into flame.

Curse immortality.

But then, I decided, how could I leave you by yourself in such dark times?

I decided to stay a little longer ...

(6) Why? Why did I break my code & stay with mortals all these years? Why did I let myself get attached? Why do I care?

I lie here on your grave trying to sort it out, a streak of red against the blinding whiteness. I am mad beyond reason. Mad at you for leaving. Mad at myself for being mad at you. But I soon remember who's to blame. I soon want … need … revenge. I must do what no Immortal should ever do. I will kill him. He who fled into the night & no one gave a damn to go after him. But I must make everyone think I'm gone. I sing my Song Of Leaving. Finally, I was able to lie & everyone would believe me.

Perfect!

They all think I'm gone for the next 1000 years.

I left to track him down. He was last seeing fleeing Hogwarts with a younger man. I soon find him in the lower part of Scotland, living among muggles, hiding from both Voldemort & the Order. The young man is surprised to see me but I care not for him. I flew past & up the stairs to where the one responsible sat in his room. He looked up at me with ebony eyes but it is already too late. I see red. I drove into him, talons bared & beak first. I burst into flame within him, taking him down with me. I soon rise from the ashes again, but the mere mortal could never return. I have only one thought running through my head.

Why couldn't you have stayed a little longer?