Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Aforenotes: Alright. Let me clear some stuff up for you:
Cerise is 32.
Naruto is 33, and so is everyone else who was 12 in the beginning of the series.
(Which means Neji, Lee and Tenten are 34 because they were 13.)
Tsunade is 71, but is using her jutsu, so she doesn't look like it. When she retires, she plans to make Naruto the sixth Hokage.
Every single genin is 12 unless stated otherwise.
Just a little more things to clear up. See, I stuck everyone in my favorite pairing. So...
Cerise married Naruto. (Durh) Their daughter is Uzumaki Ritsuko.
Tenten married Neji. Their son is Hyuuga Hiraku.
Hinata married Kiba. (He almost married Martini but I decided otherwise.) Their son Inuzuka Kiba Jr.
Temari married Shikamaru. Their daughter is Nara Shikara.
Sakura married Gaara, but they divorced. Their children are Haruno-Sabaku no Ulrio and Haruno-Sabaku no Minako (Sakura, Ulrio and Minako live in Konohagakure, Gaara declared unfit to parent by Tsunade... And himself.). Ulrio and Minako are male-and-female twins (What are they called?).
Shino married Miashi, an OC. Their daughter is Aburame Celia.
Lee, Sasuke, Kankurou, Ino, etc. are single (Unless I decide that they're married in later chapters.)
Uzumaki Ritsuko and the Chuunin Exams
By Fleur de Anemone
Chapter one: The Three POVs
"I hear we have a good crop of genin this year."
Cerise sat on the edge of a desk, toying with a kunai as Naruto looked out a window. The genin were pouring into the building by now, even though the third-floor doors opened in ten minutes. "I mean, if Kiba and Hinata's son is in it... Think about it, byakugan and a puppy? Freaky... Tenten and Neji's son is, too... My danger senses are tingling."
"Our daughter is in it too, Naruto." Cerise replied, the kunai slipping and stabbing into the floor. "Ritsuko is well trained, but I feel she takes from my side of the family."
"In terms of looks, yes, in terms of strength, no."
"Are you saying I'm weak?"
"No, I'm just saying that I'm stronger."
Cerise mumbled something that sounded like "Whatever..."
Ritsuko's POV
I rubbed my bleeding cheek, glaring at the chuunin in front of the doors.
"Kids like you can't pass," One of them said. "Go back home to your parents."
My ocean-colored eyes flickered slightly. "I'm sorry, sir, but my parent's are inside and I need to get through or they will be very disappointed."
"The only people in there are Uzumaki Naruto and Uzumaki Cerise."
"That's them."
The chuunin leaned forward. "Are you saying that your parents are Uzumaki Naruto, the greatest hero of Konoha and next in line to be Hokage, and Uzumaki Cerise, his wife since he was seventeen?"
"Is it just me, or did you hit the nail on the head?"
This seemed to annoy the chuunin.
I was pleased.
"HEY RITSUKO WE HAVE LIKE FIVE MINUTES, CAN'T YOU JUST KILL HIM OR SOMETHING?"
And that was my annoying teammate.
Kaz Rufy.
Now, you might be wondering why my strange friend was shouting. Well, see, in all truthfulness, Rufy was like... Half deaf. I swear to God, he's half deaf. He NEVER takes off his headphones. I've been training with him for a year, and I've never seen him without his headphones. He's always listening to the Black Eyed Peas, them and their funky ungodly music. If you say something to him, he won't know. So we speak to him in sign language.
"No, Rufy, I'm not going to kill him." I said, moving my hands in the necessary motions. "I mean, come on, his blood isn't good enough to spill. But then again, it might convert to being good enough if he doesn't move his ass."
Rufy laughed after translating my hand motions.
Cicada didn't care and focused on her book. Oh, right, that was my other teammate; Cicada. Well... Aburame Celia. See, her nickname's a pun because she's so quiet while cicadas are always chirping and chirping. It's so goddamn annoying. Chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp... See, isn't that annoying? Celia only spoke when it was necessary. And now was necessary.
She snapped her book shut. "Ritsuko, listen, are you going to stop to argue, or are we just going to walk around them and get to room 301? Surely, you've noticed."
"I only noticed because Dad told me." I motioned so I could get Rufy's opinion.
"CHEATER!" He cried, sounding outraged.
"Yeah, well, whatcha gonna do? This is unofficial, so my dad felt it right to tell me." I shrugged and motioned.
Cicada looked at us like we were stupid and sighed. "Could you fine gentlemen step aside and let us proceed to the third floor?"
The chuunin blinked and smirked. "This is the third floor," The other one said, the one I didn't freak out with my sharp tongue. Which isn't very sharp, if you think about it...
I motioned his response to Rufy, who yelled, "NO IT'S NOT THIS IS THE SECOND FLOOR! TAKE OFF THE GENJUTSU, STUPID, OR I'LL REMOVE IT MYSELF!"
I looked at Rufy and motioned. How are you going to do that?
"...I DON'T KNOW!"
The chuunin dropped the genjutsu, revealing the sign that said not 301, but 201.
"Fine." Cicada walked around the chuunin and began to climb the stairs behind. "Onward. Good day, gentlemen. Come on, Ritsuko, and bring Rufy."
"Yeah, don't forget your little freak friend."
I didn't motion to Rufy, so he just stared at the chuunin blinking. Rufy most likely heard Trench men hits, with no delusion. The feeling irresistible and that's how we movin', because that's what we could hear through his 'phones.
With a glare at the chuunin, I followed Cicada. Rufy tried, and suceeded, to moonwalk up the stairs
Naruto's POV
I shoved Cerise away, looking at the doors. "Looks like the genin are here, love."
I ran over and looked out the little window above the door at the approaching genin. Cerise hugged me from behind and kissed the back of my neck, playing with my hair. "So?"
"Well, Cherry-chan, we can't make out in front of the kidlets, can we?" I said, sweatdropping.
"Kidlets!"
"Yes, kidlets. Now stop teasing and get off...!" I spun around and pried her off me, throwing her into a chair. "Stay, girl!"
I threw open the doors, grinning. "WELCOME TO THE CHUUNIN EXAMS!" I exclaimed. I held up a little stack of cards and gave one to everyone as they came in. "Sit in the seat marked with this number; you can chat and junk until all the genin are here, or at least until three."
I watched Ritsuko check the clock as she took her number; 2:45 PM. 15 minutes. Ah, the quick-thinking of youth. Oh my God, did I just think that? I sound like Lee! I do not want to sound like that spandex-wearing trainaholic...
Like ten minutes later all the genin were here. I tried to shut them up, to no avail... it was sad, really... And so finally...
I threw a kunai and broke a light.
"HEY! I SAID STOP TALKING! Do you want me yell at you like Ibiki yelled at us 21 years ago? Come on, you maggots, get your head down from the clouds!" I shouted.
Everyone shut up.
"Thank you." I continued calmly. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto, the examiner of this first test. Here to assist me is the beautiful Uzumaki Cerise."
Cerise giggled and waved.
Ritsuko gagged.
"Now everyone, we will now hand out the exams. Yes, it's a..."
"A PAPER EXAM?" The shriek was unmistakable. It was Ritsuko. She stood up, eyes wide. "DAD, THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS...! CAN'T WE JUST FIGHT?"
"Shut up!" I snapped. "Just because you're my daughter doesn't mean you can make me change the rules. There will be NO fighting without my permission. Thoses little idiots who do so will be failed at once, along with their teammates! Now sit down, Ritsuko, and shut the hell up. When you are given the test, you are not to look at it. Those that do will, once again, be failed with their teammates. Now, for the rules."
There was a ripple of "Rules?" through the genin. I chuckled. This might actually be fun, eh?
"I'll write them on the board as I speak them." I went on. "Everyone will start out with ten points. The test is ten questions that each equal one point, but this uses a certain system called the 'subtraction system.' If you answer all the questions right, you keep your points. But if you miss like six questions, you'll only have four points at the end. So that means if you get them all wrong, you get zero points. Whether you pass or fail mostly depends on the toal score of you and your teammates.
"Anyone caught cheating off anyone else by the chuunin stationed around you..." I flourished my chalk overdramatically and drew the rule on the blackboard... Which was green. "...Will lose two points, regardless of how many you end up with. If you end up with zero points... Well, you'll be failed along with your teammates."
I watched Ritsuko kick Rufy and explain what I just said in sign language.
"WHAT?"
You'd better not screw up, dimwit. Ritsuko motioned.
"YOU'D BETTER NOT SCREW UP EITHER!"
And both of them headdesked within a milisecond of each other.
"Ritsuko!"
Cerise pointed to a seat in the front. The unfortunate boy she pointed at was Neji and Tenten's son, Hiraku. "I can't have you sitting next to a teammate during this. Please, switch with Hiraku."
Ritsuko stood up glumly. She and Hiraku passed in the aisle, mumbling a quick "good luck," to each other that I could easily hear. Ritsuko sat down, and of course, headdesked.
Finally satisfied, Cerise and I said as one, "The test will last one hour. Begin!"
Kiba Jr's POV
I had, like, no idea how to do this. You can't cheat, and these questions are freaking impossible. I looked at the clock and I was all: Holy shit, it's already been TEN fucking minutes? I'VE DONE NOTHING!
I considered my stupid options. One, was to not do anything and fail me and my teammates, Nara Shikara and Haruno-Sabaku no Ulrio. Two, was to procrastinate to the point of no return and hope to find an answer. Three, was to cheat.
I CAN'T FUCKING CHEAT!
I headdesked numerous times. Is it just me, or do people headdesk a lot?
I turned and looked around at the other genin. Dad said there were a lot when HE took it like 21 years ago when he was like 12. But there weren't. Hmm... 21 years... I looked at Naruto and Cerise, who were boredly pacing and poking things with kunai. That would... Should... Mean that Naruto and Cerise were both... 32 or 33. I sighed and looked back at my paper.
Question one: Solve the cryptogram. Um... Okay, next.
Question two: Line B, seen in the picture, is the greatest possible distance a shinobi can throw his shuriken from a tree of seven meters. For enemies who appear within the circumference of the shuriken's range, explain the attack options using this distance. Show your work.
Where the Hell did that come from? Who gives a crap if the tree is seven meters... Ahh, skip it. I looked at question ten, deciding to work backwards.
This question will be revealed 45 minutes after the test begins. Listen to the examiner(s) closely before answering.
WHAT'S WITH THAT?
My puppy's name was Akashi, the "aka" in rememberance of dad's dog that died of age a few years ago. I stroked Akashi carefully as he perched almost catlike on my head. I poked the little red triangles under my eyes. I headdesked again. Nothing was going to help me now... SO I just decided to... Think.
People always said I was the spitting image of my father with my mom's hair. So, yeah, they're right. I look exactly like my dad, Inuzuka Kiba Sr, but I have the same hair color as my mom... So... It's black... With like... This purple hue. It's girly, but I needed SOMETHING from my mom. And I did NOT want Inuzuka Hinata's white-lavender eyes. In all respect...
Those eyes...
Were REALLY freaky.
I shot a minute glance at Ritsuko beside me, procrastinating as I was. She was the spitting image of her mother. Same hair, same skin tone, same whatever, except her eyes were a shocking electric-ish blue. Wait a second, why do I care?
I then proceeded to tear the hair out of my scalp. I was going to fail... Shikara and Ulrio are going to kill me...
"Kiba?"
I blinked. Who...
Ritsuko.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS SHE DOING? We're in the front row. If her parents catch her talking to me...
"Do you know what they're trying to make us do?"
I blinked again, this time twice. What does she mean?
I shook my head.
"Dad said," She whispered. "That anyone caught cheating would lose points. Don't you get it, Kiba? This isn't a test to become a chuunin, this is to see how well we gather information. We're supposed to cheat. In face, they encourage it."