A/N: "Italics within quotations means that person is using sign language."
Chapter 9 – The Truth
When Sara and Shelly arrived home from the hospital they both fell heavily onto the sofa as simultaneous sighs escaped their mouths, which made them laugh tiredly.
"It's the third time I've been shot but this one … this one was definitely the worse." Shelly mumbled.
"That graze on your shoulder with seven stitches is worse then being shot straight on to your shoulder?" Sara asked incredulously.
Shelly laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, it is. Before was just business, this one had emotion behind it." Sara nodded. "I'm going to go have a shower. I've got hospital all over me." Shelly stood up and headed to the bedroom for a change of clothes.
"Don't take too long. Your father should be here in about half-an-hour." Shelly snorted in slight disgust and continued on.
20 Minutes Later
For the first time since entering the apartment and sitting down on the sofa, Sara moved. She headed for the door just as the second knock rang through and opened it to reveal a weary looking Grissom.
He tried to smile but looked more like a grimace. "Hi."
Sara waved him in, closed the door, then followed him into the living room; she stayed standing, while he sat on the sofa. "How are you doing?" She asked.
"I'm not sure. I haven't felt this vulnerable since the last time I saw Shelly's mother."
Sara looked at him for a couple seconds. If he's admitting something like that then he must be tired. She thought. She was about to offer him coffee when Shelly walked out of the bedroom dressed in her black khakis and Cubs jersey. Wow. Cut this tension with a knife.
Shelly sat down slowly on the chair across from the sofa, never taking her eyes off Grissom. He had his head down in a defeated posture and didn't notice Shelly as she sat down across from him. He did, however, feel her eyes boring into him so he looked up and right into those eyes, blazing blue.
They sat that way for several minutes before Sara finally had enough of their silence. "So," She started uncomfortably. "Griss … this is Shelly O'Brien. Shells … this is your father, Gil Grissom." Like they need introductions, she thought with a role of her eyes. "I'm going to go into my room so you two can talk." She sat on her bed and left her door a-jar so that she could still hear them and be ready to protect Grissom incase Shelly went to cause bodily harm.
They both sat staring at each other, Shelly glaring and Grissom uncertain.
"What … how … why did …" Grissom shook his head to clear his foggy state. "Why did you come looking for me?" He asked perplexed, almost sounding accusatorily.
(Sara flinched.)
Shelly's eyes showed her hurt.
Grissom growled at himself before saying, "That's definitely not how I wanted that to come out." He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. He then placed his head in his hands before quickly dropping both between his legs, hiding. "I just … I'm not good with people."
"So you didn't want me to come looking for you because you're not good with people? What the fuck kind of nonsense is that?"
(Sara bit her lip to keep herself from chiding Grissom for being so socially inept, knowing that he didn't really mean to hurt Shelly with his words.)
"That's not it. I didn't ask that because I regret you looking for me. It's just that … I'm really not that good with people. I've been told so on many occasions by my friend, Catherine."
Shelly glared at him. "I'd say you're not good with people. And who the hell is Catherine? She the whore you slept with?" She asked hotly.
(Sara flinched again. This was definitely not going the way she hoped.)
"Excuse me?" Grissom sat shocked.
"Yeah, you know, the whore you cheated on my mother with. The one that took you away from us; took you away from me."
Grissom was frozen in his seat as he sat staring up at the now angrily pacing young teen that was supposed to be his daughter. "I didn't … what are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about how my mother walked in on you with some whore. She told me so herself. She said that she was going to your hotel room early, as a surprise for you. She said that you … you …" She turned around and wiped angrily at her glassy eyes, willing the tears not to fall.
(Sara wiped at her own silent tears.)
Grissom's first instinct was to get up and go over to Shelly. But I'd bet a years pay that I'd quickly lose a limb for that. So he stayed sitting, listening as Shelly's voice got louder; sounding more fierce yet very child-like and hurt at the same time.
Shelly turned back around quickly. "She said that she knocked on the door and some half dressed hutchie wench answered it instead of you. She was coming over early that day because she couldn't wait to tell you that she was pregnant with me you ass! And then you had to go and cheat on her. She said you even bragged to her about it by fucking kissing the whore in front of her. Right in front of her!"
"I would never do that!" Grissom yelled as he shot up to his feet and stood there angrily.
(It was Sara's turn to be frozen in her seat. It was the first time that she had ever heard Grissom raise his voice to that level.)
"Bullshit! Why would my mother lie to me about that? My mother was the one that stayed!"
"I never even knew about you!"
"Right. My mother told me she never got the chance to tell you because you practically pushed her out of the hotel that night. How could you? You're such an ass. How could you be such an ass?" Shelly ended on a whisper because her sobs had started to rack her body.
(Sara's heart tore to pieces as she forced herself to stay in her room. She was now pacing with caged agitated, ready to go out and wrap her arms around the broken girl in her living room much the same way she did the first night.)
Grissom slowly lowered himself back down to the couch with his head in his hands. "That's not how it happened." He argued gently, his voice already sounding beaten and hurt from the lies that Rebekah had told about him.
"Then how did it happen, Gil?" Shelly sat back down heavily in the chair, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees, waiting for Grissom to explain his side of the story.
"I had already bought the ring." Grissom said on a sigh as he pulled a box from his pocket and passed it over to Shelly.
"What is this?" She asked before she opened it then gasped.
"It's the ring that I bought her. I wanted you to see it. That's why I went back to my place before coming to see you here."
Shelly looked up at him, her mouth hanging open in surprise. Did he really love my mom? What in the hell happened?
Grissom continued, "I went to see her in Chicago for Christmas, as planned. I stayed from the 22nd 'til the 27th. The next time I was supposed to see Rebekah wasn't until the middle of January because I told her that I was really busy." He took a deep, ragged breath then continued. "I made her think that I was busy because, in truth, I actually had five days booked off starting December 31st. I flew down there to surprise her. I wanted to propose to her before midnight that way we would uhhh …" He looked over to Shelly sheepishly as he finished, "that way we could be together from one year to the next; a symbol of what our life would be like."
Shelly cringed as the unwanted vision of her parents together in bed popped into her head. Shaking away the disturbing picture, she turned her inquisitive blue eyes back to Grissom. "So what happened?" She asked softly, her anger seeming to dissipate slightly at the pain in his voice.
Grissom sighed. "I went to her apartment…"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A young and handsome 31-year-old Gil Grissom walked up to apartment number 366 and stood outside to steady his nerves. He stood outside the door holding a bottle of 'Pinot Noir' Champagne in his right hand and a half dozen long stemmed, white roses in his left.
After taking many deep breaths to calm himself, he moved the bottle to under his left arm so he could reach for his keys.
Just breathe, Gil. It won't be very romantic if you pass out and the champagne spills everywhere. Not for the first time that night, his smile was bright enough to light a room.
When he finally managed to get the door open, battling his shaking hand, he tossed his keys softly onto the hall table and pulled the bottle from under his arm. He took a step into the small hall that led from the door to the living room. To the left was the kitchen and to the right and up the hall some more was the only bedroom.
As he took another step, he noticed how quiet the apartment was. Maybe she's sleeping? That's when he heard it, a moan coming from the bedroom. His first thought was that something bad was happening to Rebekah, but that was until he noticed a pair of man's jeans thrown across the top of the couch. That was when his investigative mind took control.
He took in the apartment. Along with the jeans over the couch, there was a bottle of Scotch, half-downed, with two small shooter glasses sitting on the living room table; a woman's shirt and bra lying on the floor near the bedroom door; a man's sweatshirt also lying on the floor but behind the couch, and noises, this time a man's grunt, coming from the bedroom.
That's when the investigative mind took backseat to the angry boyfriend. Gil dropped the roses to the floor and slowly opened the bedroom door. There he saw a man's sweaty back facing him and heard Rebekah's voice calling for more. Standing there, just inside the bedroom door, champagne bottle still in hand, Gil's eyes began to glaze over with unshed tears and his stomach began to rebuke the few peanuts he ate on the plane, as the woman who was supposed to be the love of his life was getting slammed into harder and harder by a different man, in the bed they shared.
He lost it; his rational side unable to cope with what was happening. He took two quick, angry steps to the side of the bed, unheard by the two occupants currently in it, and swung the champagne bottle so it hit the man's right temple, sending him sprawling to the floor with a thud.
"Joseph!" Rebekah yelled and went to help him up, thinking that because they were both a little tipsy, he had just fallen out of bed. (Her eyes were closed so it's not like she saw why he really fell.) She then took in the liquid and broken glass in her bed and turned her head towards Gil. Seeing him there and the fire in his eyes made her breath catch in her lungs. She was frozen to the bed, sitting half naked against the headboard.
"Having fun Bekka?" Gil growled as something within him snapped. "'Cause I'm going to be." He watched as tears fell from her eyes and sobs racked her body. He then turned his attention to the naked man that was stumbling towards the door, his hand covering the gash over his right eye. He walked towards him, outwardly looking as if it was a normal day and he was just walking down the street; the only thing giving away his anger were his eyes.
He grabbed the man by the neck and threw him against the wall. "Who the fuck are you?" He growled.
The man attempted to answer but Gil's hold around his throat was too tight so he eased up to let him speak. "Joe … name … is Joe."
"What the hell do you think you're doing here Joe?" Gil's low, calm voice was more threatening then if he had been yelling.
"She said … lonely. Wanted comp … company." He managed to choke out before Gil tightened his grip again.
He smiled, seeing the life draining from the other man's eyes. "Like this company, hey Babe?" Gil asked over his shoulder. "Would you still like him more then me if he were brain dead?" As Joe's eyes slowly began to close, Gil realized what he was doing and jumped back as if he had been burned.
I'm becoming the bastards that I put away. What the hell is wrong with me? He berated himself. He looked down at the man who was fighting consciousness and fighting for air then looked over to Rebekah who was still sitting frozen on the bed. He slowly began to back out of the room as he continued to look back and forth between the two.
Just as he reached the front door, he turned to face it and pull it open but a hand grabbed his arm from behind trying to halt him. He turned and, without looking, threw a right hook that connected with whoever it was that was trying to stop him. He looked down, into the now red and instantly puffy eyes of Rebekah, and cringed. I hit a woman, he thought, How much worse of a man could I become?
"You should put ice on that and get your boyfriend a glass of water." He said with a calm he didn't feel as he walked out of the apartment and walked out on the worst day of his life.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"She tried to contact me a few times after that but I couldn't give the effort to answer." His tears were silent as he looked into the wet eyes of his daughter. "She tried to phone me two months after that day but I didn't answer." The regret in his voice was loud and clear.
Sara walked back out of her room and sat on the opposite end of the couch from the other two; giving them her silent support but also the space they still needed.
Shelly nodded, putting the pieces together. "You think that she tried that time so that she could tell you she was pregnant?" At Grissom's nod, she sighed. "I would like to imagine how my life would be different if you had picked up that call but …" She paused, looking deep into her father's glassy blue eyes. "I'm glad you didn't."
Both Sara and Grissom looked at her like she had grown an extra head. Grissom's gaze however, also had a mix of hurt.
Shelly shook her head and tried to explain the best she could. "I'm glad you didn't pick up because look at all the shit you would have had to deal with. Sitting here and listening to you now, I know that you would have done anything, even move to Chicago, to help my mother with me. But look at the shit you would have missed out on if you had done that. The promotion to shift supervisor; your friends and co-workers, and don't forget your reputation because if you had to move to help us out then you wouldn't of been able to do seminars which means your name isn't put out there." After a quick breath she continued.
"Now let's look at the shit you would have been faced with. The hurt of having to see the woman who cheated on you almost every day; the hurt of knowing that your child grew up with this woman instead of you because god knows my mother would not have let you take me from her; and seeing this smart, and supposedly wonderful woman fall into drugs, alcohol, and bed with stupid men who hurt her. Sure you would have been there to stop her but would she have listened? No, my mom was stubborn, she wouldn't have.
So for me to know that you missed out on all those stupid things and you were able to live the better life that you did, it makes me glad that you didn't forgive her. Shit man, I don't forgive her."
Silence engulfed the apartment as all three of them sat with their heads down, no one knowing what to say. Finally, Shelly sighed.
"But I do forgive you." Shelly whispered. "I don't know why … I guess it's … I forgive you because you're my father and you're the one that didn't lie to me … and because I love you un-conditionally." Shelly got up from her seat and surprised Grissom by wrapping her arms tight around him.
Grissom buried his face into Shelly's neck, her hair catching his silent tears, as he too wrapped his arms tightly around her. After a few minutes, Grissom lifted his head from her neck and pulled her away from his body so he could see her eyes. He held her face in his hands and spoke softly,
"I thank you for forgiving me for my past mistakes and I'm telling you right now Shelly … you were never one of those. However, the actions between your mother and I after your conception were." He paused to take a cleansing breath.
"But if I had known then that your mother was pregnant with you then I would have jumped for joy and been with you every minute of every day; no matter what the history between me and your mother was like, I would have been there. I would have heard your first word; seen you take your first step; helped you potty train…" That made a laugh bubble up from everyone before Grissom continued.
"I would have dropped you off your first day of kindergarten; I would have helped you with your homework; I would have scared away your first boyfriend; I would have been there when you graduated; and most importantly, I would have been there to keep you safe. I would have made sure that Rhory didn't know your name never mind touched you in anyway."
"But there is another thing that I'm glad for and you should be too." Shelly interrupted. "He gave me Brennan. True, it was a very sick way for it to happen, and it should never happen that way for anyone, but Brennan saved me. You have the chance to do all those things you mentioned with Brennan now. He's your second chance."
"God, but I wish I had those chances with you kid." With that said, Grissom wrapped his arms around his little girl again and they sat that way silently holding each other for many silent minutes.
While they had comforted each other, Sara had snuck off into the kitchen and was making coffee for Grissom and herself and hot chocolate for Shelly.
While Grissom and Shelly were sitting, talking on the sofa, Sara went to her computer with her coffee mug and began her research.
"Could you uhhh… could you tell me about my mom?" Shelly asked timidly, not wanting to bring up the hurt but wanting to know more.
"She … you don't remember her much?" Grissom asked, a little surprised since she seemed to have a great mind and memory.
Shelly shook her head lightly. "I remember what she looked like on drugs and I remember some of the shit she told me about certain things but I have a feeling that all of it was just that … shit." She took a deep breath. "You knew her before she went to hell. You know that good things about her. I want to know the good things; what you first saw."
Grissom looked down quickly. "Before that night, I didn't think I met anyone nicer then your mother." He sighed and when Shelly gripped his hand, he smiled up at her and continued. "She was brilliant. I.Q. had to be up around 150-something. She always kept me on my toes with her questions and the topics she could talk about from criminology to the arts." His smile deepened. "She taught me a lot about how to interact with people. Growing up in a deaf household, it was hard for me to learn…"
Sara looked over at him. I knew he was losing his hearing and that he obviously did something to fix it but … he grew up that way? That definitely explains a lot. She had a small, sympathetic smile on her lips as she turned back to the travel website.
"Oh crap." Grissom said as he lowered his head.
"What is it?" Shelly squeezed his fingers.
"Mom's going to be pissed."
Sara almost laughed at the obscurity of that statement coming from Grissom.
"What?" Shelly's eyebrows rose in the familiar Grissom way.
"My mother, your grandmother … oh that's sounds weird." This time Sara did laughed at the scrunched up look on Grissom's face but she quickly covered it with a cough.
"Why?" Shelly asked innocently. You'd think she'd be happy, she thought.
"Because …" Grissom looked at her impishly. "She didn't exactly … she wasn't really a fan of your mother after what she did." He rambled.
Shelly nodded her understanding.
"I guess I have to teach you to sign for when you-"
"Don't Bother." Shelly signed.
Grissom sat shocked for what felt like the hundredth time in the last twenty-four hours. "You know sign?" He asked incredulously.
Sara looked over when things went quiet and she was shocked to see the silent conversation happening. She was happy that she learned to sign back when she figured out Grissom was losing his hearing and she thought she would need it to communicate with him.
"Yes. When I twelve years old, my hearing go in, out when I sick. Care not take me to hospital … not important." Shelly rolled her eyes. "Instead buy me sign books. I not good, I try."
Grissom looked very concerned, which started to scare Shelly.
"Your hearing was going in and out?"
"Yes. Part of sick."
Grissom shook his head sadly and looked down. Shelly tapped his shoulder. "Dad?"
His head jumped up with an added smile at the use of 'Dad' but the smile quickly disappeared as fast as it had appeared.
"Dad? What's wrong? My hearing problems were just part of the sickness … right?"
He shook his head again, and sadly informed her, "The sickness probably heightened it but it's not from that." He sighed and mumbled, "And people ask why I don't want children."
Shelly looked hurt and floored from his comment. When he saw this, he slapped his forehead forcefully and said, "That didn't come out right."
"No fuckin' shit Sherlock." Shelly spat sarcastically. Sara looked up at the harsh words and watched as Grissom tried to pull himself together.
He rolled his eyes while wondering how it went from heaven to downward spiral so quickly. Me, that's how. "I love the fact you're here Shelly. I will try my hardest to never hurt you again, ever. I've known you only a couple hours and I already want you to stay and never, ever leave my side; understand?" At Shelly's weak nod, he continued. "The only … only reason I never wanted kids is my hearing disorder."
"You hear fine to me." Shelly remarked perplexed.
Grissom half-smiled. "That's 'cause you're on the outside. It's a hereditary disease called Otosclerosis. My mother passed it down to me and apparently I have passed it on to you."
"A hearing disease? But it was just the cold. I was sick." She panicked slightly.
"And the stress from being sick made it prominent. Have you had anymore problems with it?"
Shelly shook her head slowly, trying to come to grips with this. "Not really. I only learned sign language more after the sickness because I thought it intriguing. I didn't have anyone to practice with until Deb volunteered to learn it with me. We've been teaching Brenn but we're both still learning," she smiled,"as you could tell."
They smiled and that's when Sara broke in. "On that note, Griss, when can you get a week off from work?" He looked at her as if a lamp had spoken the question. She sighed, "Okay then. I have two tickets here to Chicago leaving in three days, February 28th. From there, I'm going to save two more tickets to go wherever it is your mother is living. Those will be set to leave on the 4th of March, late night. You'll both be in Chicago on the third of March for Brennan's first birthday, right Shells?"
Shelly nodded numbly; in total shock that someone would actually be helping her this much, on top of the dangers of last night.
Grissom just smiled at Sara, which she quickly reciprocated. "LA, landing at the closest port to Santa Monica." Sara nodded and went back to the computer.
Shelly, finally getting her bearings back, stated, "Only two?"
Sara looked over at her then to Grissom, who was digging into his pockets, seemingly oblivious to Shelly's comment.
"Yeah, I thought it only fair that your father … that he goes with you." She paused mid-sentence; she was still having troubles feeling out the words father, dad, daddy, grandfather, or granddad when talking about Grissom.
"But … you're not coming?" Shelly asked innocently.
Sara looked over to Grissom who had just worked his credit card out of his wallet.
Shelly looked over to her father and demanded, "Make her come with!"
He just smiled, stood up, handed a very stunned Sara his credit card and told her gently yet firmly, "Three tickets to Chicago, then LA, then back home to Vegas." He then turned and took his seat again beside Shelly, whose smile was lighting up the room.
Not knowing how or what to respond, Sara nodded zombie like and finished on the computer as Grissom and Shelly sat on the sofa; Grissom helping her with her signing.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Shelly stayed at Sara's apartment again, familiar territory and Grissom's guest room being a 'Roach Motel' being the reasons for their arrangement. She and Sara had both taken Sara's bed, both thinking that Grissom would take the sofa. But instead, Grissom had taken the time to go home and think.
If I move the bugs into the attic and just make sure the temperature was correct then Shelly can stay in the guest room. But what about Brennan? God, Brennan and those pictures … he looks so much like I did at his age; Chunky cheeks, little roles, big blue eyes, brown curls, happy boy. Mother always said I was a happy baby. Holy shit.
He looked around his townhouse and stared into his reflection in the back window. You're a father. I'm a grandfather. He plopped down onto his hard couch and placed his hands over his face. "Oh god." He groaned. "Mother is going to kill me."
He got up and walked towards the kitchen, mumbling in his best 'old grandmother' voice. "How could you be so irresponsible? You're a smart boy Gilbert, what the hell is your problem." Then he faked a slap upside the head as a demonstration of what he was expecting. He smiled though, as he pulled out a water bottle. "At least I won't have to hear the lecture." He laughed as he walked into his bathroom for a relaxing shower before bed.
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A/N: I apologize for the wait but life is kind of rough at the moment. Between being sick, my seminar program, getting sicker and then having my computer totally piss me off 'cause it doesn't seem to want to upload my story ... I have to do it at the program I'm at on the weekdays only, soit's been hard. I swear my life is one big conspiracy … oh well.
Next chapter, which will most likely be the second last if not the last, will hold Shelly's obligations of being Deryck's 'Keeper' and we'll see Griss meet the boy who looks so much like him.