So this was a party, huh?

Sho would have imagined that it would have been more fun. Shimazaki had said that parties were fun. He said that even a stuffy work party like this could be fun if you had the right kind of help. Sho had no idea what he had meant by help but he nodded and agreed anyway. He always agreed with Shimazaki even if he wasn't sure what he was talking about. Like when he said about how he didn't like or trust big sis' new boyfriend even though he was soft as a baby kitten. He went crying to Fukuda for a papercut of all things. Shimazaki always got weird when Hatori was around and stuff. Sho didn't get it.

He hoped that Shimazaki had a good time at this party, though.

And he hoped that he let Sho hang out with him, too. Fukuda said that they were going to be party buddies for this thing. He had said that Sho and big sis would probably be the only kids there and that it would be long and boring. Well he was wrong. There were other kids here, too, they were sitting with their parents and stuff. Sho was sitting alone with big sis. Dad was making his speech about how great the future would be once Claw took over the world and stuff. So boring.

The most boring.

Shimazaki must have been so bored. Sho knew that he and Fukuda had to be party buddies but he would have rather been party buddies with Shimazaki. He was just more fun. That was probably because he was younger than Fukuda. Shimazaki said that dad and Fukuda were middle aged and once someone became middle aged they stopped being fun because they were starting to get old and stuff. Maybe that was why Fukuda didn't know how to have fun. That may, also, have been why Fukuda didn't get along with anyone at Claw. Maybe it was because the only other person his age was dad and dad didn't get along with anyone.

Anyone but big sis.

Dad and big sis had made up again…and he knew that he should have been happy for them but he was having a hard time being happy for them so he just said nothing. She got a whole day with dad, Sundays, and he didn't get any day at all with dad. Not a Sunday or a Monday or a Tuesday or even any other day of the week. That was fine. He didn't care. Dad was a jerk anyway. Even now in his speech he was being a big jerk. He was talking about how Claw was going to rule the world and when Claw did he would be the boss of everyone. He didn't know why people clapped at the end of his speech. That sounded terrible, having to be bossed around by dad until the end of time. It was hard enough having spent the last ten years of his life being bossed around by dad.

These people were so weird.

Shimazaki said that a lot of people thought that dad was God. He said that a lot of people worshipped him because he was super powerful and stuff. He also said that those people were crazy. Fukuda said that Shimazaki had just been exaggerating and that people only were very in favor of dad's dream. He said that a lot of the people here were financial backers, which meant that they gave dad the money he needed back when he was getting Claw off the ground, and that parties like this were to make them happy. To show them that Claw was a thing and stuff. To show them that dad was doing good work with their money and stuff. Sho didn't get it. Why would someone give dad money just so that he could rule the world someday? Who actually wanted to be bossed around by dad for the rest of the history of the world?

Well these people, apparently.

Sho looked around the room. People were listening to dad like he was saying something interesting. Even big sis was watching dad, listening to dad, and mouthing along with the words, too. She said that dad had practiced that speech on her. If that was true, it probably was considering the fact that big sis had no idea how lying worked, then she should have been the most bored of all. But no, she was the most interested of all, even though she had heard this whole speech already. Whatever. She was boring and weird. That was fine.

He shifted in his seat.

Those were jerk thoughts. He'd been having jerk thoughts all night. Maybe his bowtie was too tight and cutting off blood circulation to his brain or something. Big sis had tied this for him. The whole thing had been awful and it had taken almost a whole hour. Dad told her to let him do it but Sho was not about to let dad anywhere near his neck. Big sis figured it out eventually….though he had no idea why he had to wear fancy clothes. Dad was just in his normal suit. Sho hated fancy clothes. Especially the ones that big sis had picked out for him. He hated the shirt because it was white, which meant that he would have to work extra hard at keeping it clean, and also the collar poked him. He had on too many layers, too, and he was hot. He had on a green suit coat over his shirt and it matched his pants, which were also green, and that was way too much green anyway. He looked like a leprechaun with his red hair and green clothes. He wished that he could have just worn his normal clothes.

He hated fancy clothes.

Shimazaki said that fancy clothes were a necessary evil. He said that when you rose as high in the organization as he had then you had to get into your fancy clothes and go to things like this. He said that it was ok, though, because people loved fancy clothes. Especially girls. He said that getting girls was mostly just about dressing nice, working out, and smelling good. All of those things said to a girl, to her brain, that you were a well put together guy and that they should kiss you and all of that other stuff….so gross…and that was the point of fancy clothes. He said that and then he made Sho tell him how he looked because Minegishi had picked his fancy clothes out for him and they sometimes pranked him by making him wear dumb stuff.

He looked fine.

His shirt was black and his pants were black and his suit coat was black and he looked fine. Well he looked like Halloween, and Sho had been mean to say that but it was the truth, but Shimazaki hadn't gotten mad at all. He had just laughed and then undid his top two buttons and told Sho to go home and get dressed because there would probably be girls his age at this party. There were but Sho didn't care. He looked around the room. Most of these kids were either a lot older than he was or a lot younger. Still, it was…sort of weird actually…to be in the room with so many kids his own age, but he wasn't freaking out or anything. Not like dad. That was why his aura was like that. Fukuda had told him, before, that dad was afraid of being around people because he was so bad at it. Sho couldn't imagine dad being afraid of anything…and also he was really good at talking to people. Ordering them around, anyway. Sho had never seen dad just talk to someone like normal. He hadn't even talked to mom like normal back when they had lived in the castle. No, dad was just a mean jerk. That was all. Sho knew it, all of these people knew it, but they still clapped whenever he said anything…and Sho just did not get it.

He played with his phone.

He was bored so he played with his phone. At least big sis had found him something with pockets. She had her blue Elsa bag with his because girl's clothes didn't have pockets for some reason and he was not about to let her use him as her pocket slave. He had enough stuff to carry. He had his 3DS, his phone, the chargers to all of that, a little notebook, and also some colored pencils. That was all in case he got bored. Shimazaki said that this would be fun but Fukuda said that it would be boring….and while he liked Shimazaki a lot better than Fukuda he knew that Fukuda was more likely to tell the truth.

This whole thing was starting off pretty boring.

Big sis was whispering at him to put his phone away. He whispered back that he wouldn't. He felt someone looking at him. Fukuda. He waved again. Sho waved aback again. He hoped that Fukuda got tired soon so they could go. Fukuda was old and old people needed their sleep and stuff. Even with all of the other kids here he had no idea what was supposed to be so much fun about this. He looked around the room again. Some girl with pink stripes in her hair smiled at him. He looked away. He knew what it meant when girls smiled at you.

He didn't get it.

Girls. He didn't understand girls one bit. They were always trying to hold your hand and kiss you. Sometimes it felt like all they ever thought about was holding hands and kissing. Even big sis. She had a guy and all she ever talked about when she talked about him was how awesome he was and stuff…even though that wasn't' awesome at all, the way he was, and she could have had a much cooler guy…but whatever. She was just like all the other girls. All she ever thought about was kissing and hand holding. Well Sho had better things to do with his time than kiss girls and hold their hands and stuff. He'd been kissed by plenty of girls before. It wasn't anything special.

He just didn't get it sometimes.

Why people kissed and held hands. Even Shimazaki liked that stuff. Well he liked the stuff that came afterwards, too, that adults did together. Sho wasn't really sure how that worked. He said that he liked kids but he never wanted to have any of his own but then he went and kissed girls, and probably did all of that other stuff with them too, but didn't have any kids. Wasn't that the point of doing any of that stuff? To have a kid? He didn't know and all Shimazaki had told him was that he would understand when he was older. Sho was so sick of hearing that. He was ten now. How much older would he have to be before he was old enough to understand stuff? Even Fukuda said that to him sometimes. When he was older he would understand why dad liked big sis better. When he was older he would understand why dad wanted to take over the world. When he was older he would understand why they had to do things like throw dumb parties and stuff. When he was older he would understand why dad had forgotten his birthday. When he was older he would understand why mom had left.

Older, older, always older!

Well even if he lived long enough to see the sun burn out he would never be able to understand some stuff. Like when everyone clapped like crazy when dad's stupid speech was over. Dad was bossy and his speech was a bossy person's speech and everyone should have been telling him that he was a bossy jerk instead of clapping for him like he had been saying good things or whatever. He hadn't. He had just been saying all of the things that he had been saying for as long as Sho could remember. The crowd wasn't even all espers, there were a lot of normal people there, and they had still been clapping. Some of them even followed dad when he came down from the speech making place, too, which was just…..why?

Seriously. Why?

People were trying to talk to dad but, instead of talking to the people trying to talk to him, he just went right over to him and big sis. Sho didn't get it. If there were all of these adults here then why was dad coming to talk to them? They were his kids. They lived with him. He could have talked to them, bothered them, at any time. Why did he have to come up to them now? And why while his aura was all like this? He wasn't mad but…but his aura was acting like he was mad and….and Sho didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.

"Son. Daughter. I'm leaving." Said Dad when he got to their table. The people were still saying dad's name and trying to get his attention and stuff. Sho didn't get it. He didn't get why they wanted to talk to dad, he didn't get why dad was talking to them, but he especially did not get why big sis wanted dad to stay.

"But I want you to stay, dad, please? It's a party and the point of a party is to have fun…and I want you to have fun." Said big sis. She wanted dad to stay. Of course she wanted dad to stay. She wanted dad to stay because he liked her best and she liked him best and-and-and-it just was so-so-so-he didn't even know. Dad wasn't even looking at him. He had said son and daughter but he only meant daughter. He always only meant big sis. He only meant Sho when he was mad about something. Sho was tempted to do…something. Something to make him mad. Something to show people what dad was really like…even though he had just been showing everyone what he was really like.

"If dad wants to go then let him go. He doesn't care about stuff like this. He doesn't care about anything." Said Sho. He crossed his arms and made himself feel small. Look and feel small. Smaller than he was. Dad's aura was focused on him, now, and it just…didn't feel good at all. None of this felt good. Nothing about this felt good and he just wanted to…to go away. To go far away from dad.

"But-" said big sis. She was going to try and get dad to stay even though he didn't want to stay. She didn't want to be alone with him….why? What made her want to be with him all the time? Dad had ben smothering her, he had heard her loud and clear, and then dad had ignored her…and she needed to make up her mind already! She needed to make up her mind because…because he just…he didn't know how much longer he could just sit there and listen to her-

Deep breaths.

She loved him and he loved her. So what if she always went crying to him whenever dad said or did something that made her mad. So what if she couldn't decide if she wanted dad to love her or not? He didn't care. He didn't care if he as stuck at this dumb party with her and dad and her begging dad to stay and him wanting dad to go and dad probably going to end up staying because he liked big sis best. Fukuda said that dad liked big sis best because when he looked at her he saw himself. That made no sense, big sis didn't look a thing like dad or anyone else in their family, but Fukuda said that Sho would understand when he got older. Well Sho wanted to understand now. He wanted to understand why she liked dad so much when she had just been upset about how he treated her…and he wanted to know why dad didn't care about him at all…

Dad hadn't even been able to remember his birthday.

Dad hadn't even bothered to remember his birthday but he remembered to come to this stupid party that only big sis wanted and he remembered to come and tell them, well big sis, that he was leaving and he remembered to spend time with big sis every Sunday and….and for some reason he couldn't even remember Sho's birthday. He had just forgotten and…and Sho had no reason to be upset because he didn't' care about dad or what he thought or how he felt or…or anything. He just…he just didn't care…so why did it still hurt? Why did he still hurt?

And why was the hurt getting worse for every second that dad was there?

"No buts. I've done my part and I'm leaving. Daughter, look after your brother. Son…don't ruin this for your sister." Said Dad. Sho's aura flared. He couldn't help it. Dad just assumed that he would ruin this for big sis? Why? Why did dad just assume that he would ruin everything like a-a-a ruiner? He loved big sis and he knew that she had been looking forward to this party for a while and-and-and even though he thought that it was a boring waste of a night, even if there were snacks and other kids and stuff, he still wasn't going to go and ruin stuff for her!

He loved her…even if he was thinking jerk thoughts about her he still loved her.

"I'm not going to ruin anything…" muttered Sho. He crossed his arms and sank down into his chair. He could feel Fukuda coming. Good. Then he and Fukuda could be party buddies like Fukuda had said and then dad and big sis could have fun together and then everyone would get what they wanted and then…and then he could go eat cookies and drink soda even though he wasn't supposed to have sugar or liquids this late at night…and then also he would stuff his pockets with snacks like Shimazaki had said that you were supposed to….and then he would go home and sleep and this would be over and then everything would just get back to normal and…

And maybe some of the jerk thoughts that he'd been having would go away.

He wished that he knew someone who could just go inside of his head and make his thoughts all better because he was having some very mean ones. There wasn't anyone like that in Claw, though, because telepathy was a rare gift and dad didn't like telepaths anyway. So he was stuck with his mean thoughts. At least Fukuda was coming. Sho would rather have gone over and hung out with Shimazaki, it looked like he and big sis' boyfriend were trying to see who could drink the most fancy bubble juice, and Sho wanted to be over there…but he also wanted to be with Fukuda. Even if Fukuda was more boring, a lot more boring, Sho didn't care so much about how he looked or acted when he was with Fukuda. Being around Shimazaki made him kind of nervous because Sho wanted him to think that he was cool and he knew that if he did something dumb then Shimazaki would not want t be his best friend…and he really want to be best friends with Shimazaki…

He was just so cool…and stuff…which was a mean thing to think with Fukuda being right there and all.

"I can take your son home if you want, boss, Shigeko can probably handle this. It is her party after all." said Fukuda. Sho…he knew that Fukuda wanted to be his friend and all but…but that was just…Sho balled up his fists and hid them in his suit coat. He didn't want this to happen, him to get mad, but Fukuda….Fukuda was talking like Sho was a ruiner, like he was going to ruin this party, like he was just someone who was put there on this Earth to ruin things. Like everything wrong in the world was his fault because he had been born wrong and big sis had been born right. Like…like…Sho took another deep breath. Then another. Then another…even though they weren't enough to make him calm down. Fukuda was talking like dad talked. Fukuda…any minute now he could be like dad. Any minute now he would start to talk about everything wrong that Sho had ever done in his life and how much of an embarrassment he was and…and all of it…and Sho knew that Fukuda wasn't like that but now he just…he had that feeling inside of him and no matter how many times he breathed in and out he just could not get the bad feelings to come out. Maybe the part where he breathed in was keeping them stuck inside of him. Maybe if he stopped breathing then he would feel better. Maybe everyone would have just been happier if he stopped breathing and-

And he needed to go somewhere small and dark.

"I'm not going to ruin anything and I don't want to go home!" said Sho. He needed to get away. He wanted to get away. He needed to get away from there because there was just…just so much happening. Dad was there and Fukuda was there and he was talking like dad and then big sis was there and she was asking dad to stay and it was just…too much. It was even worse with all of those people who were trying to talk to dad and be near him and…and asking for him even though he was such a…a lot of bad words…he was a goddamned mother fucker. That was what he was…and the minute he thought that he pulled his head into his shirt because he got the feeling that dad could hear him…but he didn't because he couldn't hear thoughts…and he also wished that Shimazaki could have heard him too because that was some very good cursing he had just done.

He kind of wanted to curse some more.

He wanted to go up to dad and start calling him every single curse word that Sho knew. Shimazaki had taught him some good ones and he knew that dad would be mad if Sho started curing him out but…but maybe he deserved it. No, there was no 'maybe' about it. Dad did deserve it. He deserved to be cursed out in every single bad word that there was in Japanese and also a few of the ones in English that Shimazaki had taught him too…but Sho doesn't curse dad out. He doesn't do it because….because he isn't a ruiner like everyone thought. This was big sis' party and she had been excited for this for a while…and he was not going to ruin it for her. He wasn't going to be what everyone thought that he was.

It had nothing to do with being afraid.

This had nothing at all to do with him being afraid of dad. He wasn't afraid to get hit. He wasn't afraid to get slapped. He wasn't afraid to get yelled at. He wasn't afraid of dad at all. He just…was not going to ruin this for big sis. No, he was not some ruiner that just went around ruining everything. He was….he was not that person. He was not going to go out there and ruin everything and he was not going to…to be what dad thought that he was.

He closed his eyes.

He closed his eyes and looked around. There were so many auras…and dad's was leaving. Dad's was leaving and big sis' aura was still there…and still like normal….and then Fukuda was there and…and he could sort of feel Shimazaki but he kept on teleporting…and also his aura felt really mad and also kind of….snappy? Fizzy? Poppy? It was hard to focus on. It was like the end of a sparkler. It got like that sometimes…and Sho didn't know why. He didn't know why but he wanted to know why. He wanted to crawl out from under that table and ask Shimazaki why his aura was being like that. He wanted to crawl out from under that table and hang out with him and…and he knew that he had promised Fukuda that they would be party buddies but…but he should not have agreed with dad like that. It was supposed to be him and Fukuda on one side and dad and big sis on the other side. Just like how back when they'd had a mom it had been him and mom on one side and then dad and big sis on the other.

He wanted someone on his side.

But now….now it seemed like no one was on his side. Being ten sucked. He was all alone and…and it sucked! It sucked a whole bag of dicks! Which was a gross way of saying that something really sucked. Shimazaki had taught him that one. Sho didn't get it. Why would anyone want to suck on those and also why was there a while bag of them? And how had they gotten in the bag in the first place? Was there just some chainsaw maniac going around chopping them off and putting them in a sack and then making people suck on the sack full of other people's-

Sho laughed.

Even though he knew that it wasn't funny, the thought of someone chopping his off and putting it in a sucking on sack made him cross his legs in horror, but it's also just a little bit funny because…because it was just crazy. Crazy things were funny. Therefore it was ok to laugh. So he did laugh. He laughed and….and now he felt better. Better enough that maybe he could come out from under the table and go and see what Shimazaki was up to…or go be party buddies with Fukuda because he was lonely and old and stuff. He was lonely and older than everyone there and he probably needed someone to hang out with. He wouldn't even be able to mess around on his phone he was so old. He was always making Sho show him how Youtube and stuff worked on phones…so Fukuda needed him more than Shimazaki…and he really wanted to go and see Shimazaki…

But Fukuda needed him more.

Sho lifted up the table cloth and was about to crawl out from under the table when he bumped into something…or someone. Another kid. That was weird. No aura. That was even weirder….or maybe it wasn't because kids didn't usually have powers unless they were prodigies. So a kid without an aura wasn't weird…but being this close to another kid and talking to someone who didn't have an aura at all…that was weird. That was weird and that was why Sho had made that squeaking noise and thrown himself back….and stuff….

"Oh! Sorry, I didn't know that someone else was under here. I'll just go and-" said the other kid. Sho….he didn't want this kid to go. He never talked to the other kids, there were never any kids around Claw for him to talk to, and when he was out in the world he was out with Shimazaki and when he was with Shimazaki he never wanted to talk to anyone but him….so it would be nice to talk to another kid. He looked like he would be a cool kid to talk to. His hair was spiked up and he had a 3DS in his hand…so maybe he was cool…

And maybe he would think that Sho was cool too.

"You-you can stay. There's plenty of room under here." Said Sho. His voice came out weird there. He was out of practice when it came to talking to the other kids. He couldn't even remember the last time that he had spoken to a kid his own age. Well one who wasn't his big sister but she didn't count because they were siblings and also she thought that she was an adult and stuff.

This was weird…but in a good way.

"Are you sure? I can leave if you want. I mean the last kid who's table I tried to crawl under threw a cookie at me." Said the kid

"He threw a cookie? Why? These cookies are awesome." Said Sho. Big sis had specifically asked for the cafeteria cookies to be served here. Who was stupid enough to just throw one?

"I know, right? But then he was all 'get out of my fort big kid' and I was all 'this is a table, little kid' and then he threw a cookie at me….but it's ok. He was like six or seven or something and that's just how little kids are. Am I right?" asked the kid. He was under the table now. There was plenty of room but Sho got the feeling that one of them was too close to the other…but he also didn't want either of them to move. This was a big kid…bigger than Sho…but he was a big kid too now. He was ten. Double digits meant that you were a big kid now…and this kid certainly thought that he was a big kid now…so he had to act like one…because suddenly he felt like the biggest baby on the planet!

He had been such a little kid just now.

"Y-yeah…little kids can be such babies sometimes." Said Sho. He sat normal, looked normal, even made his aura normal even though this other kid couldn't see it. This other kid was a normal person…and he was not supposed to talk to normal people…but dad was gone and big sis was too busy with the party that she had planned to tattle on him to dad…not that she did that…so this was ok. He was ok. This whole thing was ok.

"Tell me about it. I have this little brother, well I call him my little bother, and he's here too. He's hiding over there with the cookie thrower and they've got some kind of secret fort clubhouse thing going which is just…whatever. Who still builds forts? I'm just looking for a place to play Smash in peace without my dad being all 'don't embarrass this family' and stuff. Dads, am I right?" asked the kid

"Yeah…dads suck. Well mine does, anyway. Um….you like Smash Brothers?" asked Sho. He suddenly felt like a little bother, not a little brother, and also he felt like he was seven. Big kids didn't build forts? But Shimazaki was thirty and he loved to build forts…and Sho didn't know why he cared what some kid he just met thought but…but he really cared…he cared a whole lot…and he didn't know why.

He didn't even know this other kid's name but suddenly what he thought felt like the most important thing in the whole world.

"Hell yeah! I just got it for Christmas for the 3DS and I've been playing nonstop. You like Smash too?" asked the kid

"Um….yes? I mean yeah. I play it all the time. I got it for Christmas too. I mostly just play against the computer because my sister kind of sucks. Her main is Peach but he always just spams the umbrella smack and when she thinks that she's going to win she just throws herself off the world a bunch of times." Said Sho

"That's stupid as hell. Why's she do that?" asked the kid

"She thinks that she has to because she's so much older than me." Said Sho

"How old is she?" asked the kid

"Ten…we're both ten but our birthday are super close together. I just turned ten and she's going to be eleven soon." Said Sho. That felt weird saying it out loud. Was May soon? It was still December. He didn't know. He probably sounded so stupid that this kid was never going to want to play with him ever and…and also Sho didn't even want to be there with himself because he had said something so stupid…

"That's cool, you guys are almost twins. Hey, who's your main? I'm usually Mario but sometimes my little brother throws a tantrum because he wants to be Mario but, like, the only Mario because even with color variants he still gets confused and I have to do what he wants because I'm twelve and he's five and I have to be the bigger man or whatever. God, it sucks being the oldest." Said the kid

"Um…I'm mostly Kirby but also sometimes Toon Link…but not because I throw a fit or anything. My sister is just always Peach or sometimes some other girl character…because she's a girl…but I guess that you figured that because I said that she was my sister…and stuff…and sisters are always girls or else they'd be brothers…and stuff." Said Sho. He was stupid. He was so stupid. That was why that other kid had started laughing at him. Because he was stupid and he'd said something stupid and now this kid thought that he was stupid and-

"You're really funny, you know that? I'm Hideki, by the way. Hideki Yuta." Said the kid. Sho caught his breath and tried to remember what he was supposed to do now. The kid had introduce himself and now it was Sho's turn…but how did that work!? What country was he even in? Um…Japan! They were speaking Japanese so this must have been Japan so in Japan they…they were supposed to bow! But they were sitting under a table…shake hands? But they weren't old people…..they were big kids but not old people….

Say. Something.

"Suzuki Sho. It's a pleasure to meet you." Said Sho. He wanted to crawl into a hole and die the minute he finished talking. He wanted to get a spoon from on the table and start digging…event though they were on the top floor…but still! He wanted to dig a tunnel and live underground with the mole people and then…and then…and then just get out of here already before he made a bigger idiot out of himself than he's already done!

"Man, Suzuki, you're funny as hell. You know that?" said Hideki. Sho made a weird noise that might have been a laugh and turned red. What was WRONG with him?! Was he this out of practice when it came to talking to someone his own age who wasn't his big sister? Seriously? He needed to pull himself together. He needed to stop acting like an idiot. He was not a moron. He was not a moron and he was not going to sit there and make a moron out of himself like this. He was Suzuki Sho and he was…boy was he going to do something….

Because now there was silence.

Was this an awkward silence? How much silence did there have to be before it became awkward? Was it awkward already? Was he somehow making it awkward by thinking that it was awkward? But then how was he supposed to judge if this silence was awkward or not? And what was he even supposed to say to that? He couldn't just tell Hideki that he agreed, he thought that he was really funny, because then he would seem full of himself and people hated it when other people were full of themselves. But then if he disagreed and said that he wasn't funny at all then he would be a dower and nobody liked a downer….so was he supposed to say 'thanks'? But that didn't seem right either?

Why was this so HARD?

"Um…thanks? Do…you-you want…to play? With me I mean?" asked Sho. He held up his 3DS in case Hideki didn't know what he meant…even though he obviously knew what Sho meant because they had just been talking about Smash Brothers and stuff. Well Sho had other games in his case but…but he knew that Hideki liked Smash Brothers and that he also liked Smash Brothers so why not play some Smash Brothers!? There was nothing weird about wanting to play Smash Brothers! There was nothing weird about Sho! He was normal! This was normal! There was nothing at all abnormal about this or the way he was feeling!

He was normal damn it! He didn't know who he was arguing with but he knew that he was normal!

"Hell yeah! I like the way you think, Suzuki!" said Hideki. Sho…he felt good. He felt good and like…like he could float away. But he wasn't going to. No, he wasn't supposed to show his powers to normal people. He wasn't supposed to freak normal people out like that so that was why he made sure to keep his powers in check no matter how hard it got…

And boy did it get hard.

More and more people started showing up. The more people that showed up the less room that there was. The less room that there was the closer that he had to get to Hideki. He had to get close to him otherwise…otherwise there wouldn't be room for the other kids. Sho hadn't invited them and neither had Hideki. They just sort of came. This was a boring party, an adult party, so they decided to have their own DS party under a table.

Well most of them.

Some of them were just on their phones. Some of them were eating. One girl kept on complaining about how boring it was under there until another girl told her to leave. Sho told her that if she was so bored she could go and talk to his big sis. There. That would show the pink haired girl the meaning of the word 'boring'. It was many things under that table but boring was not one of them. Sho's heart was beating too fast and his stomach had too much of the live goldfish swimming around in it feeling to be bored. That was because these were close games, that was all. Big sis never played him for real and playing against a computer program was nowhere near as close to playing with another person. He was ok. He was having fun. That was all. That was why he felt sort of like he wanted to run far away from Hideki but also how he wanted to be close to him for the rest of his life…

What was wrong with him?

Sho didn't know. All he knew was that there was a goldfish in his stomach and…and maybe it had invited friends. Or maybe it had laid eggs. Maybe his stomach was full of live goldfish and…and there was no way to make them stop. Did he even want them to stop? He didn't know. He didn't even know what this was. All he knew was that it just would not quit…and that was….that was ok. He didn't know what it was but it just would not quit…and he didn't know if he wanted it to quit. He didn't know if it would go on forever or if he wanted it to go on forever…well he wanted to play Smash with Hideki and these other kids forever…but he also knew that he sort of wanted it to end because this was just so much and…and he had no idea what to do with this feeling now that he had it inside of himself…like he had swallowed a million goldfish and they had laid a million eggs and-

"Hey! No room!" Sho died. The minute that other kid, Sho couldn't remember his name, said that he died. He died because he had been distracted. That was the last time he could fall off the world. Now he was dead. He was dead in the game and now he felt like he was dead, or soon to be dead, in the real world. He knew that aura. He had been too distracted with what he was doing to notice but now that he felt him….Sho knew that aura and he knew that he was dead…

Why, though?

He wasn't doing anything wrong…well he wasn't supposed to be with normal people. That was it. That was why he suddenly wanted to scoot far away from Hideki. Because he was so obviously a normal person and Fukuda would be able to tell that he was a normal person and Sho was not supposed to be near normal people and…and that was why he wanted to scoot far away from Hideki. That was it and nothing more.

"Aww…it's someone's dad." Said Hideki. He threw the match….sort of like he was done playing…but they couldn't have been done playing…because Sho didn't want to be done playing. He wanted to play all night. He loved this party. He loved this party and he loved playing with the other kids and…and he loved this and…and he loved….

He loved Fukuda but he wanted him to get lost, too.

"He's not my dad. He just takes care of me sometimes." Said Sho. He knew, by the look on Fukuda's face and aura, that he had said something mean…but it was the truth. Sure he wished that Fukuda had been his dad and all but wishing was not something that could, you know, change reality. He wished for a lot of things but that didn't make them real.

"Brought you something to eat, Sho." said Fukuda. The sad look passed from his face as he passed Sho a plate of food…which he did not need. He was a big kid and he could feed himself and he did not need these other kids, he did not need Hideki, to think that Sho was a little kid. Because he wasn't. He was ten and ten was not little.

"Thanks, you can just leave it here. Um…I'm just playing Smash with these guys…and I don't think that you'd like to play too because…um…you probably didn't bring your DS and also whenever we play together you throw yourself off of the world on accident and it makes the match too short…but we can hang out later! Also there's other adults here for you to hang out with so…so you won't be so lonely." Said Sho. He wasn't trying to be a jerk. If he had been trying to be a jerk he would have told Fukuda to get lost because he was being all embarrassing. The only thing more embarrassing would have been if it had been big sis telling him to eat…or rather not to eat because he wasn't supposed to eat or drink this late at night because then he would wet the bed maybe….and, yeah, that would have been a thousand times worse…

"Just come and find me when you're ready to head home." Said Fukuda. Sho was so glad when he put the tablecloth back and went back to doing whatever it was that he was doing. Sho loved Fukuda, he really did, but he was a big kid now and he could do things on his own. He didn't need to be Fukuda's party buddy because he already had a party buddy…and he knew that it was mean of him to ignore Fukuda like that…but he would make it up to him. They could play some of those boring games that Fukuda liked when he had been a kid or something. Later. Not now. Sho had some more Smash to play now.

Or at least he would have if the stupid table cloth hadn't been lifted up again.

If not for the lack of aura Sho had been about to say something that he shouldn't have. He had been about to tell Fukuda to get lost and to hang out with someone else for a change. He had been about to tell Fukuda to go home if he wanted to leave so badly. He was about to tell Fukuda that Sho would either teleport home with Shimazaki or just call a car on his own. He was about to say all of those things but, thankfully, he didn't.

Because that hadn't been Fukuda at all.

"Hey, if any of you feel like having some real fun a bunch of us are going to go and play in the coatroom." Said that annoying girl with the pink stripes in her hair. Sho didn't know what could be more fun about a coat room than under a table. Under the table made for a much better clubhouse and also-

"Hell yeah!" said Hideki. Sho was…so confused. He was confused when Hideki said that and did a fist pump. He was confused when Hideki closed his DS and put it in his pocket. He was confused when Hideki and a couple of the other older kids started to crawl out from under the table. He was confused and…and the only way to stop being confused was to get to the bottom of this already.

So that was what he did.

He followed Hideki out from under the table. The world looked too bright, now, but that was because he had been hiding under a table covered in a Claw red tablecloth. There were fewer people around, now, and fewer auras too. Big sis' aura was still there but it was all…fuzzy. Sho didn't pay much attention to her. He lived with her, he would see her when he got home, right now he had someone new to pay attention to…and stuff….

And he needed to know what was even going on because then seconds ago they had been having the time of their lives and now he was just…getting up and leaving…and stuff.

"Hey, where are you going? Come on, I was totally going to kick your ass in the next round." Said Sho. He tried not to show what he was feeling….and it was hard because he didn't even know what he was feeling. He was just…he still had the goldish in his stomach, all of them, but now it felt like they were trying to eat each other. He felt…he didn't know how he felt but he knew that he wanted to make it stop…

Somehow.

"Didn't you here her? Coatroom games can only mean one thing." Said Hideki

"Hide and seek?" asked Sho. The minute he said it he felt like a moron. That was the only thing he could think of, really, to do in a coatroom that you couldn't do underneath a table. Really what else was there? Well there was always wearing the coats while they were hanging and then pretending that you were a scarecrow…but he got the feeling that doing that was even more babyish than playing hide and seek.

"Suzuki, you're funny as hell. Come on, you know what I mean." Said Hideki. No. Sho had no clue what he meant. He went over everything that could be played in a coatroom….and it all seemed babyish the more he thought about it. Maybe his brain was still nine even though the rest of him was ten now. That would have made sense. That was why he didn't have the first clue what Hideki was even talking about….

But he was not going to look like a baby.

"Yeah…I know what you mean. I totally know what you mean." Said Sho. He had no idea what Hideki meant but since it was some big kid thing that all big kids knew he was going to go with it. It was just playing more games. Maybe the wifi was better in there or something. Maybe they were going to play a more gown up fighting game like Mortal Kombat or something. Or maybe they were going to play a horror game together or something. Whatever it was Sho was up for it.

How bad could it be?

Bad. It could be very bad. It could be the worst. Apparently coatroom games were just…kissing. Just spinning an empty bottle around and kissing whoever it landed on. This was…he had seen this game before in movies and stuff but he hadn't known that it was real. When would he have ever had the chance to play this? And who would he ever have played this with? His own sister? He wanted to throw up at the thought. He wanted to throw up in general. The goldfish in his stomach were still eating each other but they were not going down without a fight. This was…this was a lot. He'd been kissed by girls before but that had been when he had been little.

He wasn't little anymore.

And this was different. This wasn't some girl chasing him around so she could kiss him and stuff. This was….this was like some crazy random chance game where…where he could end up kissing any one of these girls…and he didn't want to kiss any of these girls…he didn't want to kiss any of them at all even if he was a ten year old now and this was what ten year olds did, they kissed girls. He just wanted to get back under the table and play more Smash Brothers….

"I'm going to try and get it to land on that girl, Asagiri, the one with the pink stripes in her hair. I can't believe she's your age." Whispered Hideki

"Um….yeah. She's pretty. I like her…hair." Said Sho. She looked normal to him. Well she had boobs but he wasn't going to look at them…because that was rude. He wasn't going to look at them….or any of the other girl's boobs…and how did all of these girls have boobs? And why was everyone else staring? Didn't they know that it was impolite to stare at girl's boobs? That they didn't like that and that they called you a pervert and slapped you when they caught you looking?

Sho wasn't staring because it was impolite to star.

"Ok, so we can either play spin the bottle of seven minutes in heaven. I say we play seven minutes in heaven since I'm the one who found the bottle but I'm going to be polite and let you guys vote." Said Asagiri, the pink haired girl. Sho wondered if he should just come clean and say that he had just turned ten a few weeks ago, he had no idea what he was doing, he didn't like girls yet, and he really just wanted to play videogames….but Hideki was sitting right there and if he said that then he would look like the little kid that he was inside…

"Oh my God Minori, no fucking way. I don't even know any of these guys, there's no way I'm letting them feel me up. If you want to get felt up then you just go and do that. I have standards." Said the girl sitting across from Sho. Sho decided that he liked her the best. He didn't know what she meant but if even someone older than him wasn't comfortable doing it than it must have been something really bad.

"I-I don't want to get felt up! I don't just go around letting random guys feel me up! Who do you think I am?! I was just trying to take everyone into consideration. I mean some of us are ready to do more than kiss and all. That doesn't mean that I'm just going to let random guys do whatever to me. Honestly!" said Asagiri. Sho hoped that she and that other girl ended up beating each other up so he would have an excuse to leave. He didn't want to do anything with anyone….but maybe that was weird. Those were girls. Those were girls who wanted to kiss. Those were girls who had boobs. He was supposed to want to kiss them and touch their boobs and stuff. That was the normal stuff that he was supposed to want to do…so why didn't he want to do it?

What was wrong with him?

"Come on, let's just play something before people start coming in looking for their coats." Said Hideki. Sho wished that someone would come in looking for their coat right now. They were in the very back of the coatroom sitting under a rack of coats. They could have made an awesome fort out of all of this…but they were not going to because they were not little kids. They were big kids and big kids didn't build forts. They kissed.

So that was what he was going to do.

"Since Akemi is so morally opposed to seven minutes in heaven let's play spin the bottle. The rules are simple. You spin the bottle and you kiss whoever it lands on. No exceptions. No respins either. You get who you get and you don't get upset. I'll go first." Said Asagiri. She spun the bottle. Sho watched it spin. He wondered if it would just end up going on forever. That would have been cool. Maybe she spun it too hard and it would end up spinning for a thousand years or something like that. That would have been so fucking awesome…

It didn't spin forever.

It slowed down…and down…and down…until it stopped on him…and he had to act fast. He gave it a tap with his powers just as it was about to slow down. It went past him, past Hideki, and it landed on another girl…and that sucked because now she would have to spin again and then it might end up landing on him again and….

"You made up the rules, Minori, and now you have to follow them." Said the girl, Akemi, the one that Sho decided was the best one of the lot. She seemed ok…but also she was making no sense now. Girls didn't just kiss other girls. That was…not how it worked. Girls kissed boys. If girls could kiss each other then why were they always trying to kiss him!?

"Akemi Yuki I will fucking kill you…" muttered Asagiri. Sho hoped that they did end up killing each other. Sho hoped that they ended up having a great big fight and then he could go back under his table and play some more videogames with Hideki and then they could just forget this whole big kissing…mess…that they were about to get themselves into.

But they didn't beat each other up.

No, Asagiri kissed the girl that she landed on. It was quick, super quick, but she still made noises like she was going to throw up. Sho didn't get it. If she didn't want to have to do that then why did she make the rules that you had to kiss who you landed on? Also…how did that even work? Two girls kissing? Did that mean that, in this game, two boys could kiss? Did that mean that in this game….in this game…he could end up kissing another boy?

The lights above them flickered.

"Hell yeah! Even God approves!" shouted Hideki. Sho didn't say that it had been his powers that did that. He didn't say that it had been an accident. He didn't say that the thought of kissing another boy…it made the goldfish in his stomach go crazy. He had never kissed another boy before…he had never even thought about it before…because he couldn't kiss another boy. Because he was supposed to kiss a girl. Because that was what boys did, they kissed girls, and he…he knew that sometimes boys could kiss other boys….but he was different enough as it was….so it was not ok for him to kiss another boy….

But it would ok now…because that was just how the game was played.

"That's just the faulty lighting in this dump. God, don't blow your load." Said Asagiri. Sho had no idea what that meant or why it was so good that two girls had kissed…or of anything. Maybe he wasn't a big kid after all. Maybe he was still a little kid. Maybe he should have just gotten up and walked away and gone off to throw cookies with all the other little kids…

Hideki elbowed him in the side.

Right. He was ten and this was what ten year olds did. They played this game. They sat in coatrooms and they spun bottles and kissed each other. So that was what Sho was going to do. He was going to spin the bottle and he was going to kiss whoever it landed on. When it was his turn, of course, because they were taking turns and he wasn't…well he did and he did not want to play. He mostly just wanted to get his turn out of the way, he decided, because at least when it wasn't his turn he could nudge the bottle away from him. Not in a big way, no, just enough so that he didn't end up having to kiss anyone.

And he didn't.

He made it through the circle without anyone else landing on him. He nudge the bottle just enough to get it out of the way but not so much that people suspected him. Not that they would. Nobody there knew that he had powers. Nobody there knew that he could do things that they couldn't. They thought that he was just like them, that he was a normal person, even though he wasn't. This was what it felt like to be just like everyone else….

Well he imagined that it felt a little less like there were live goldfish in his stomach but it was still a nice feeling.

He had never once fit in anywhere in his life. Here he could…no. He wanted to fit in here but he couldn't. He was the youngest in the room. Well Asagiri was supposed to be his age but she didn't look like she was his age at all. She looked older and acted older. As old as all of these other kids. He was the youngest in the room and of course he didn't fit in….

Well he had to.

He had to try harder to fit in. He was sick and tired of being different. He had spent his entire life being different and for once he just wanted to be like everyone else…and that meant taking his turn and playing this game and not thinking weird thoughts like what it would be like to kiss another guy and stuff like that. He was not going to kiss another guy and…and the thought of it should not have been riling up the goldfish in his stomach! He was not going to think about this! He was going to take his turn like normal and…and that was what he was going to do!

It was his turn.

Sho took a deep breath and spun the bottle…maybe too hard because it just spun and spun and spun. Round and round and round it went. He didn't care where it stopped. He would kiss any of those girls. He didn't care. He was supposed to want to kiss girls and…and that was what he was going to do. Kiss a girl. Like he was supposed to. Yes. That was what he was going to do…if it ever stopped on a girl…which it would. Any minute now it would stop on a girl. Any second now.

He was not nudging the bottle with his powers to make it keep on spinning.

He was just…sometimes he lost control of his powers and this was one of those time. He was fine. He just had to…he made himself stop…and it spun. It made one more pass before it slowed down in front of him…and that was where he stopped it. If it landed on him then he would have to kiss himself…he wasn't sure how that worked but he would figure it out when it came to that….but first he just had to make it stop on himself…

Or a little to the left.

He had done it because…because he had been nudging that bottle away from himself all night. That was all. He hadn't wanted to kiss anyone at all that night so he had been nudging the bottle out of the way…and that was why he had sent it a little to the left. That was why it had landed on Hideki. It had been a complete and total accident. A force of habit. Asa force of habit he had used the force to make…this…happen.

This was happening.

"Spin it again Suzuki. That doesn't count." Said Hideki. Sho felt like he had been kicked in the stomach. He felt like he had been kicked in the stomach and not his stomach goldfish were freaking out and trying to chew their way out through his stomach and…and he didn't know why. He should have been relieved. Now he didn't have to do something as weird as kissing another guy…because he was not supposed to want to kiss other guys…because guys were supposed to kiss girls. He was supposed to kiss girls and…and think about kissing them and stuff…and all of that other stuff too….but he couldn't. He looked from Hideki to the girls around him. He settled on the girl with the pink stripes in her hair. She was pretty and she had boobs and stuff and….and he was supposed to want to kiss her. Not Hideki

He wanted to kiss Hideki.

It explodes in his mind. The thought of it. He wants to kiss Hideki. He wants to kiss him. Sho wanted to kiss HIM and that…that is not ok. He's supposed to want to kiss girls. There are girls all around him but he doesn't want to kiss them. He wants to kiss…he wants to kiss Hideki. Because he's cool. Because they have the same taste in video games. Because Hideki said that he was funny. Because his hair looked cool all spiked up like that. Because he just…because he was just….someone who Sho wanted to kiss.

He wanted to kiss Hideki so badly….and he just didn't get it.

"Uh, no, it does. It's my bottle, I found it, and what I say goes. You get who you get and you don't get upset." Said Asagiri. Sho liked her a lot, he decided, and that…that was just not something that he should have liked her for. He should have been arguing against her. He should have been saying that he was not going to kiss another guy because….because that was not ok…and he should have been trying to kiss her or one of the other girls…but he just….didn't want to….

What was WRONG with him?

"Come on, he's only ten. It's wrong as hell to make him kiss me…and also I don't want to kiss him because, like, he's ten." Said Hideki. Sho felt, once again, like he had been kicked in the stomach. He wondered how many times he could feel this before the goldfish inside of him ate through his organs and left him with no stomach or anything at all. He wondered how long it would take before he just…died. Because he wanted to die. This was a lot. This was too much. He wanted to kiss Hideki and Hideki didn't want to kiss him and…and that bothered him so much even though he knew that it was so weird that he was bothered by this and….

And he wanted someone to come and rescue him.

But he was in the coatroom. The party was outside of the coatroom and that was where anyone who could rescue him was. Fukuda was probably having fun talking about finance or strategy with the other adults, so boring but also good for him for being less lonely, and big sis was probably still talking to all of those adults or hanging out with her friends or something….he couldn't even feel her aura actually…and Shimazaki….

He didn't even want to think about Shimazaki right now.

"I'm ten but you've been trying to make the bottle land on me all night." Said Asagiri

"Minori, just drop it." Said Akemi

"No fucking way. You get who you get and you don't get upset. Those are the rules. If you don't want to follow the rules then you shouldn't have come and played with me. You should have found your own bottle to play with in that case." Said Asagiri

"I am not kissing him. We're both guys." Said Hideki. Sho, once again, felt like he had been kicked in the stomach…or maybe this was an even worse feeling. Yeah, maybe it was an even worse feeling, because now Sho was just…more aware. Yes, no he was even more aware of how different he was. He was more aware of how much….how much more different he was than everyone else. He was an esper, he had red hair and blue eyes, his dad was going to take over the world, he was covered in weird scars, and now he wanted to kiss boys instead of girls. How much more different could he possibly get?!

"So? I kissed her and we're both girls." Said Asagiri

"That's different." Said Hideki

"No. It's the same. You either follow the rules or you don't play at all. Now come on, you're holding up the game. I don't know how much longer we can be in here for. My dad's going to be looking for me. I don't know how much longer he'll think that I'm in the bathroom for so, just, kiss already." Said Asagiri

"Well then I'm not playing anymore. Come on, Suzuki, let's get the hell out of here." Said Hideki. Sho…he had no clue what he even wanted anymore. He knew that he wanted to kiss Hideki. He knew that he wanted to kiss Hideki more than he had ever wanted to kiss someone in his life…which was at all because he had never wanted to kiss someone before…and he also knew that he should not have wanted to kiss Hideki in the first place because they were both guys and that was not ok….

What was wrong with him?

"You know….if you kiss him then I'll kiss you. I mean, outside of my turn. For real. I'll kiss both of you if you want." Said Asagiri. Sho didn't get it, why she wanted to see them kiss and stuff, but he was…a lot of very confused feelings. That was what this was. The goldfish in his stomach weren't fighting, they weren't trying to eat each other, they were just very confused about this whole thing. He wanted….maybe it was ok to want to kiss Hideki…because then he got to kiss that girl…and he was supposed to want to kiss a girl….so then it was ok for him to want to kiss Hideki.

"Minori, just drop it. If they don't want to kiss then don't make them kiss. You're being really weird right now." Said Akemi

"I am not, you're the one being weird." Said Asagiri. In Sho's opinion this whole thing was weird…but nobody had asked for his opinion and he wasn't going to give it because he got the feeling that his opinion was weird…and stuff. No, he wasn't going to say anything. He was just going to….going to….

He had no idea what he was going to do.

"If I kiss him then I get to kiss you? For real?" asked Hideki. Sho didn't get what was so exciting about that. They'd been playing this dumb kissing game all night. So what if he got to kiss her…and that was just him being weird again. Why as he being so weird?! What was….what was his brain thinking?! His brain was always making him think jerk thoughts and now it was making him think weird thoughts and…and why did he have to be so different!? Why couldn't he just be normal for once in his life?!

"Yeah, for real." Said Asagiri. There was something in her eyes and her tone and….and Sho felt as clueless as big sis. He had no idea what she meant and he had no idea what Hideki was so excited about and…and he had no idea how he felt. If he had no idea how he felt then he knew that he wouldn't be able to understand the feelings of others, either, so there was no point in trying to make sense of….of all of this. If he couldn't make sense of his own goldfish then why did he think that he could make sense of other people's?

"Hell yeah! Ok, Suzuki, don't freak out. I'm going to make this quick. Just….close your eyes." Said Hideki. Sho did as he was told. He wanted to tell Hideki that he wanted him to be quick…and also that he wanted it to go on forever….and that was before it even happened. He closed his eyes and…and he saw with his aura…but he couldn't see with his aura because they were just normal people. Shimazaki had said that it took a lot of practice to be able to see normal people because they had no auras. Shimazaki had said that it would get easier with practice…and Sho wished that he had practiced with more normal people. All he could hear was breathing. All around him he could hear breathing. From the people around him and…and his own. He could hear his own heartbeat too. He could hear his heart beating and he could feel his heart beating and it was beating so fast and….and….and….

And then it stopped beating.

He was being kissed. He had been kissed before, girls liked him for some reason, but now he was being kissed again…and his heart had stopped and his breathing had stopped and he had just…just stopped. His entire body was short circuiting. This felt….good. This felt better than anything that he had ever felt before. Was this…was this IT? That thing that people were supposed to feel when they kissed someone? Well then no wonder girls were always trying to do this to him! This was amazing! This was the best thing ever! He wanted to do this every single day at least a thousand times a day because it felt so good and-

-and then it was over.

Quick. Hideki had made it quick. Too quick…and Sho should not have been sorry that it had been so quick. Sho should not have been sitting there with his eyes closed leaning forward long after Hideki pulled away. He should not have just been sitting there listening to everyone breathing, listening to Hideki breathing, and listening to himself breathing. He should not have just been sitting there with his eyes closed just…listening. He should have opened his eyes. He should have opened his eyes and then pretended that he was going to throw up or something because that had been gross….that should have been gross…because he had kissed another guy and kissing another guy should have been the grossest thing that he ever could have done…..

He kissed a boy.

He kissed a boy and he liked it.

He kissed a boy and he liked it and he wanted to do it again.

But he didn't do it again.

"I think I broke his brain….sorry Suzuki." Said Hideki. He wanted to tell Hideki that, no, his brain was not broken and that he had liked it more than he had ever liked anything in his entire life….and stuff. But he didn't. He couldn't. He needed….he needed to just….just be normal. So he didn't open his eyes and lean in and kiss Hideki again…even if he wanted to. No. He just…he just opened his eyes….and tried to make words…

And he couldn't.

Because he didn't have any words for this. For what he felt. The goldfish in his stomach were just swimming around in confused circles now. They didn't know what to do or where to go and neither did he. He had kissed a boy, he had liked it, and now what was he supposed to do. He felt like dad. Dad was always saying 'I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with this information' and now Sho…Sho had no idea what he was supposed to do with this information. He kissed a boy, it felt good, and now he wanted to do it again…and he just didn't get it. He needed….he needed to talk to someone about this. someone who knew what to do with this information…but he couldn't tell anyone. He couldn't tell big sis because she would probably end up telling dad and dad…dad could never know about this. That was why he couldn't tell Fukuda either, because he and dad were close and stuff, and also…and also he couldn't tell Shimazaki because…well he wouldn't tell dad but…

He REALLY did not want to think about Shimazaki right now.

"I-I-I'm fine. That was just….I've never done that before. So it's…weird. That's all." said Sho. There. He had said something and it made sense but also it made sense without making him sound as weird as he felt. He had kissed a boy, he had liked it, and he wanted to do it again….but he also knew that he was never going to do ANYTHING like this ever again…because it was weird…and he was not supposed to do stuff like this…

Even though he REALLY WANTED to….

"Aw hell…that was your first kiss? Sorry. You should have said something. Seriously! I don't want to be your first kiss….just….I'm sorry as hell, ok Suzuki?" asked Hideki. Sho…how many times was he going to get kicked him the stomach tonight? That…that hadn't been his first kiss, his first kiss had been in preschool when that girl he didn't even know kissed him on the rug when the teacher wasn't looking, but…but it had felt like his first kiss. The first one that he had ever wanted. The first one that had ever felt good. The first one that….that he ever wanted to repeat….

But Hideki had hated it.

Hideki had hated it and he had been right to hate it. Guys were not supposed to kiss guys. Guys were supposed to kiss girls and…and that was how it was supposed to be…and there was just…there was always something wrong with him. There was something wrong with him and there had always been something wrong with him. He had been born wrong and…and everyone else in the world had been born right…and that was….that was just the way that it was with him….

He felt sort of like he was going to throw up…or cry…or wet himself….or just run away.

But he didn't get a chance to do any of those things. No. There was a moment when he saw her move, Asagiri, and then she was on top of him. She was on top of him and he was laying down and…and he wanted to push her off….but he stopped himself. He forced himself not to push her off because….because it was one thing to be meant to your sister but it was another thing to be mean to some girl that you didn't even know. That was why he didn't push her off. Well that and also…also…

Also this was what he was supposed to want.

A girl on top of him. He had seen this before on TV and in movies…and also in life, too. Well the other way around. Sometimes Shimazaki laid down on top of Minegishi and made them read to him and stuff…and probably other stuff too. The stuff that happened when Shimazaki told him to get out of the room because if he stayed he would end up needed to describe what he saw to a therapist in ten years or something. He had never stayed and seen what happened….and TV never showed what happened….past kissing….and he really hoped that this girl didn't want to do any of the stuff that came past kissing…

Because he didn't even know what those things were.

But he was supposed to know…right? Wasn't he? This girl was his age and…and she knew. She knew and everyone else know…but Sho didn't for some reason. Even though this was the sort of thing that everyone knew…and he felt so dumb. He felt like a dumb baby and also a weirdo for not liking this…and he had to like this…even though he mostly just felt pinned down and trapped and…and this was like a play fight but…but she wasn't playing and also he couldn't fight…because she was a girl who wasn't related to him….

Only the biggest losers in the world smacked around women.

Shimazaki had said that. He said that if a woman asked you to fight her then it was a different story but you weren't supposed to just go around hitting them. That was wrong. That was wrong because unless she was an esper she was a lot weaker than you, most likely, and it wasn't a fair fight. Also real men only fought fair because otherwise what was the point of fighting? So he wasn't going to fight this girl…even though she was on top of him…and that was the same as starting it….

He wasn't going to push her off or hit her or anything….even though he wanted to….but he wasn't supposed to want to…so he just went with it….

"Um….what are you doing?" asked Sho

"I promised that I would kiss you for real, didn't I? Your first kiss shouldn't have had to suck like that. Now shut up and be grateful." Said Asagiri. Sho wanted to tell her that it hadn't sucked, that it had been the best thing that he had ever felt in his life, but he didn't. He knew that it would have been a weird thing to say…and he knew that he was weird enough….so he just went with this. With whatever this was….

Kissing. This was kissing.

"Damn Suzuki….you're lucky as hell." Said Hideki. Sho didn't feel lucky at all. He felt…trapped. He felt pinned down and trapped. She weighed too much. She wasn't fat but she weighed way too much. He had no idea what he was supposed to do now. With this or with her…and he just sort of wanted to go home. He wanted to go home and just lay down in his bed and wait for tomorrow to happen. He wished that there was some way to make time go faster. He wished that he had a fast forward button for life so that way he could fats forward past this kiss.

This very long kiss.

Wet. This was wet. This was wet and gross…and not in a good way. It was like she was trying to lick him or something…and that was just…too much. That was too much. She was trying to lick him and also…also she took his hand and put it on her back and…and that was way too much. The whole thing…the whole thing was just too much and…and he didn't know what he was supposed to do…well he knew what he was supposed to do. He was supposed to touch her boob like she wanted him too and he was supposed to do what she was doing, lick her back and stuff, but he just…he couldn't…

His stomach was full of goldfish and now they were trying to escape.

And now he was trying to escape…and he did escape. He pushed her off. He pushed her off even though he wasn't supposed to push people, especially girls who were not his sister, and he wasn't supposed to stop girls from kissing him either…and he was supposed to want to kiss girls…and he was supposed to have enjoyed that…and he was supposed to want to do it again…but mostly he just wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

Everyone was looking at him.

"God. You kiss like a ten year old." Said Asagiri. She wiped her mouth and glared at him…and he was suddenly so mad…so very mad…because it wasn't like he even WANTED to kiss her in the first place! And now she was complaining! Maybe she was the one who was bad at it! Because it was supposed to feel good! It was supposed to feel good and-and-and Sho knew how good it could feel now! And that hadn't felt good at all! That had felt weird and gross and also…also sort of scary a little bit and…and…and….

And he wanted to go.

"I am ten!" said Sho. That was all that he could day before he ran away. As he ran away he heard that Akemi girl tell Asagiri that she was ten, too. Sho didn't stay and hear the rest of it. He just ran out of the coatroom. He needed to find a place…a place where he could be alone…but there was no such place. The party was emptying out but…but there were still so many people and…and he just didn't want to be around people right now!? Was that so bad?! He just…he just wanted to be alone already! He wanted to be alone so that the goldfish in his stomach could be dissolved by his stomach acid already and…and he could just be done with this and with everything! That was what he wanted! He wanted…

He wanted his sister.

Big sis…she was bossy and she thought that she was mom and she was dad's favorite but…but stuff always made sense when he was near her. She always took care of him whether he needed her or not…and she was…she was his sister and there was no chance at all that she would try to kiss him in any way…well she kissed him on the forehead a lot but that was a sister kiss, not a girl kiss, and he just…he didn't want to be around anyone right now. He wanted…he wanted his big sister…

But she was gone.

Her aura was big and bright. He would have seen it if he had been in range…and he wasn't in range. She must have gone home. Shimazaki was gone too. He must have taken her home….and he sort of wanted to be near Shimazaki…but also not at all because…because now he was thinking about Shimazaki and…and also about stuff that he should not have been thinking about and…and he just needed to…to stop it!

He needed to stop thinking.

He went over to the dessert table. He needed to stop thinking and…and he still hadn't eaten anything. So that was what he was going to do. He felt Fukuda's aura…and it felt weird. Fuzzy. A lot of people had fuzzy auras right now. That was…this whole thing was…weird. He wanted to be alone. He didn't want to be near Fukuda right then because he was fighting with Minegishi…and also Shibata looked mad at him too…and also Hatori looked…he looked like he had the flu or something. He had sweated through his clothes and his hair was messy and his clothes were messy…and also he had broken the zipper on his pants or something and now everyone could see that he wore Mario boxers…and Sho was going to stop looking over at…whatever that was. Even though Fukuda looked like he needed rescuing…

Well Sho had needed rescuing too.

Sho made a plate and just…sat under the table after he had made it. He needed to be in a cool, calm, dark place. He needed to calm his brain down. He held his head in his hands for a while, then ate something, and then repeated. Over and over again. He just…he needed to calm down. He needed to calm down and just…just be done with all of this already…he needed to make the goldfish in his stomach stop swimming….but he couldn't. Not after all of that…

He wished that tomorrow would happen.

He wished that he had a fast forward button and that he could just hold it down and wait for tomorrow to happen. Then things could go back to normal. Then he could go back to playing with big sis and building forts and drawing pictures and just…just being normal. The normal things that he used to do. The things that he had done back when he had been nine. He was ten now…but he wanted to be nine again. He wasn't ready at all to be ten. No, he wished that instead of a fast forward button he had a rewind button…or something. Some kind of magic remote that could make him nine again. Being ten….being ten was just too much….

He wanted more than anything, he wished in that moment more than anything, that he could go back to being nine.

But instead of rewinding or fast forwarding time he just…he ended up with Fukuda. He had been so sitting there in the dark with his eyes closed but he hadn't been trying to see. No. He didn't want to see. He wanted to be alone. He wanted to pretend that he was alone and that…and that none of that had happened…but it had happened. All of that had happened and now…now he had to move forward. He didn't have a magic remote that could fix this, that could rewind him back to nine or fast forward him to being in the next day, so he just…he just had to sit there and wait for time to pass…

And be alone.

But he wasn't alone. Fukuda was there. Fukuda was there and his aura was there and Sho…he pulled away from his aura. He wanted to be alone…and he wanted to go home…but he also didn't. No. Big sis was probably home and she…she would ask him what was wrong…and he didn't want to talk to her or anyone about this…and he certainly didn't want any of this to get back to dad. Any of it. The part where he had kissed another boy and liked it, the part where he had kissed a girl and hated it, or the part where all of the people who he had kissed had been normal people…

Dad could never know. Nobody could ever know.

"Hey, you ready to go?" asked Fukuda. Sho…he was ready to go. He had been ready to go. He had been more ready to go now, from this party, than he had ever been ready to go from anything else in his entire life. He needed to go home…but also not home. Just…away from here.

"Yeah. I…I want to go." Said Sho. He didn't know where he wanted to go but…but he knew that he wanted to go away from here. Away from all of this. Away from the other kids and…and away from the goldfish in his stomach and…and away from being ten. Being ten was too much. Being a big kid was too much. He wanted to be a little kid. He wanted to go back to being a little kid….but he couldn't. He had no clue how to go back to being a little kid…and he had no clue where he wanted to go…and he had no clue where he even could go. He could walk for a thousand years but no matter where he went or what he did his stupid brain with it's stupid thoughts would still follow him…and he just…he wished that…he wished that….

He wished that he had never even heard of kissing let alone….let alone done it.

"Yeah, it's late. Come on, let' get you home. You want to say goodbye to your new friends?" asked Fukuda. Sho shook his head. Nope. No way. He never wanted to see or hear from any of those kids ever again…even Hideki. Especially Hideki. He was…Sho had no idea how he felt about Hideki. He had no idea how he was supposed to feel about Hideki. He was…he was a cool person and…and Sho wanted to be his friend…but also…also he wanted…

Sho had no clue what he wanted.

He wanted to kiss him again. He wanted to kiss him and hold his hand and…and he didn't want to feel this way. He was different enough. He was weird enough. He didn't want to be any more different, or any more weird, than he had to be. Than he was now. He was…he was different. He was different enough and he just….he just wanted to go home. He just wanted to go home, or at least away from here, and he just…he wanted to make sense of this…of all of this…

"No, I-I just want to go. I…I um…I did…I mean…I just want to go." Said Sho. He wanted to tell Fukuda about what happened. Fukuda was always there for him and…and he had always helped out Sho when he'd needed it…but also…also he just…he didn't know. He didn't know and…and he wanted to know…but he also didn't want to do…and…and all of that….he just…he didn't want to….

He didn't even KNOW anymore.

He just knew that he wanted to get out of there and he wanted to be alone…but also not. He wanted to be alone and he also wanted to be around…around someone who could…who could just be there for him. He wanted…he wanted someone. Anyone. He did and did not want to be alone. He didn't want to talk about what happened…but he also did. He wanted to talk his feelings through, like his book said that healthy people did, and he also wanted to exorcise them like dad said that he was supposed to. He just…he wanted….he wanted….he didn't want…he didn't want but he wanted….

He wanted to have a sleepover.

"Fukuda…can we have a sleepover? I don't want to go home. Can I sleep at your house? I just…I feel tired…and stuff." Said Sho. He didn't want to be alone with dad and big sis and his goldfish. He wanted to be alone with someone…someone who understood him. Someone who would be there for him. He didn't want…well he did want…he just wanted….

He wanted a lot of things and most of them involved going home.

"Sure thing. Come on, let's get you home." Said Fukuda. Sho went with Fukuda. He let Fukuda help him out from under the table and he let Fukuda pat him on the back and he let Fukuda get their coats and…and he just left everything to Fukuda. He didn't want to have to do anything or think about anything or anything like that. He just…he wanted to turn off his brain and also get rid of his gold fish and just…just…just forget.

He just wanted to forget about everything that happened.

Sho just wanted to forget about this whole party. About kissing and feelings and all of that. He wanted to go home and go to sleep and wake up and just…just be in tomorrow. Just be in a tomorrow where he had never kissed another boy, never liked it, and never wanted to do it again…but he knew that it could not happen that way. He didn't know how to travel through the multiple universes, that wasn't in his power set, so he had no idea how he could even do that…and so he knew that when he woke up tomorrow he would be in this same universe. The same one where he had kissed a boy and liked it, kissed a girl and hated it, and had a bunch of goldfish living in his stomach….

So this was a party, huh? It sucked. He wanted to go home.