A/N: I'm soooo sorry for taking two weeks to update, but life hasn't been kind to me as of late. I'm still fighting the MS flare-up, and the meds I'm on aren't really helping very much. I'll do my best to get back on track with weekly updates to the story, but if I'm not able to, you'll know why.
Thanks so much to all who've been reading and reviewing, not to mention waiting very patiently for the updates. :)
Chapter 84:
The next month passed peacefully for the Rabb family. Ainsley continued to grow and to change, endearing herself to her parents even more than anyone thought possible. Mac and Harm had not yet begun their testing with Dr. Kendall, but were schedule for their blood work and Harm's test that coming Wednesday.
Mac was excited. The sooner they began the sooner they could give things another try. Alas, though all things must come in their own time...The Monday before "test" day, Harm arrived home from JAG with a very sad look on his face. Mac had beaten him home as she had been in court and left directly from there. She was preparing some left over chicken and beans when he walked in looking like he'd just lost his best friend.
"Hey, honey" he sighed and dropped his case on the floor.
"Harm?" she asked taking in his look and his stance. "What's happened? Mattie? Your Mom?"
"No, no, everyone's fine" he said. "Well, everyone except me."
"Your back?" Mac asked rushing over to him. "Sit down, let me get something for your legs."
"I'm not hurt, baby" he said, reaching out to bring her close. "I've got some news you're not gonna like, that's all."
Mac slipped her arms around him and exhaled. "If no one is sick and you aren't hurt then nothing can be that bad. Tell me."
He took a deep breath. "I got orders today to report TAD to Key West. I leave at 0030 tomorrow, and I'll be gone a solid week."
"A week?" Mac sighed and pulled back. "That's...That's so long."
"I know" he said, stepping back from her and loosening his tie. "I'd get out of it if I could, but you know how these things go."
"I know" Mac sighed. "It's just...this is the first time we'll be apart since the baby and the wedding. I knew it would come but...I prayed it wouldn't."
Harm pulled his tie off and tossed it over the back of the sofa before walking over to where Ainsley laid playing with her animal blocks. "Hey, beautiful" he said as he bent down and picked her up. "Daddy's sure gonna miss you."
Ainsley studied her Daddy's face and smiled. "Baa" she commented and reached for his fruit salad before attempting to put it in her mouth.
"No, no, baby" he said with a smile as he shifted the baby to his right side, "don't eat daddy's medals. That's not the best way to get your recommended daily allowance of iron."
"She's happy now" Mac smiled. "Not a happy duck at day care today, so I was told."
"Uh-oh" he said playfully as he held Ainsley up in front of him. She was just over 7 months old now, and she seemed to show them something new every day. "What did we do today, Ainsley Rose?" Hmm?"
The baby simply stared at him and tried to get his insignia in her mouth this time.
"She got into the toddler's room and had quite a fit when it was time to leave" Mac replied. "She just rolled right in there. She's going to crawl any day now."
He smiled, and then quickly frowned. "I'll probably miss it."
"You don't have to go" Mac sighed.
"Yeah, I do" he said. "You know that, Mac. Like you said, we both knew this day would come."
"I know" Mac frowned. "I hate it." Just then Ainsley began to cry loudly.
"Oh, what's wrong, baby girl?" he asked, bouncing the little one gently. "Is she hungry?"
"Nope, she just ate" Mac replied.
"Hmm" he said, "I bet it's her teeth." With that comment, he remembered the conversation that Saturday morning not long ago, when they'd discovered the baby's first tooth, and from there they'd talked about returning to Dr. Kendall. "Oh, no" he gasped when he realized what being TAD for a week would mean. He looked Mac in the eye. "Our appointments."
Mac sighed. "It's okay. I'll go and do my part alone. You can do yours when you get back."
"I'm sorry, baby" he said to her, seeing the disappointment on her face. "I didn't ask to go; it's just one of those things."
"I know" she replied and continued fixing dinner. "She's mad."
"Somehow I don't think she's alone in that" he said, offering Ainsley a toy as he carried her into the kitchen. "Are you sure you want to start your tests alone? Some of that stuff I'd really like to be here for."
"This is just blood work" Mac sighed. "Don't worry about it. You have more important things to do."
"No" he said gently. "They're not more important things; they're just part of my job. It's only for a week; it could be for a month. Let's try to look on the bright side."
"Right" Mac sighed and turned around. Taking the baby from him she went to sit on the couch. "Is it dangerous?"
"Nope" he said, opening the fridge and grabbing a beer. "Just your basic, run-of-the-mill investigation."
"At an air station" she frowned and rubbed Ainsley's head as the baby began to quiet.
"You're afraid I'll end up in the cockpit, aren't you?" he asked, taking a drink from the longneck bottle.
"'I'm afraid that given the chance you'll jump into one" Mac replied and set the baby down again. "Be good and play, angel."
"I don't plan to do that" he said honestly. "We talked about this; I know I can't press my luck, and if I want to be able to do my quals, I can't be joyriding like I wish I could sometimes."
Mac turned to face him/ "I want you to promise you won't go in a cockpit until you are cleared. Promise me."
He set the beer bottle on the counter and took her in his arms. "I promise. I can't do anything foolish; I have way too much to lose."
She pulled back and placed a kiss on his lips. "Yes you do. You hungry?"
"Famished" he replied with a smile. "Whatcha making?"
"Chicken and black beans" Mac replied. "Go get changed and washed. I'll let you do all the baby stuff tonight. She's getting peas."
"Peas? Oh boy" he laughed. "I guess I shouldn't even bother with a shirt, huh?"
"Not on my account" Mac replied. "She might like the peas though. She liked the squash and we didn't think she would."
"True" he said, "but those beets... Please tell me you threw the rest of those out."
"In the trash, along with that shirt" Mac sighed. "I told you not to force her. I told you she didn't like them."
"Yeah, well..." he said with a laugh. "Little girls are supposed to eat those kinds of things for their daddy, but apparently we forgot to tell her that."
"Go get changed, you can eat then you can feed her. When's she's done you'll both need a bath" Mac replied.
"Yes, dear" he answered with a grin, grabbing his beer bottle and heading down the hallway.
Harm returned a few minutes later in just his undershirt and jeans. Mac served him his supper then dished out her own. "Mattie's staying out late again."
"With whom?" he asked.
"Her friend Susan" Mac replied.
"Don't think I know Susan" he said, taking a bite of his dinner.
"Me neither" Mac sighed. "And she didn't give me her phone number. How is it?"
"Delicious as always" he said, pausing to swallow. "We'll have to dig a little deeper into 'Susan'. I want to know who my kid is hanging out with."
"Amen" Mac sighed as she watched Ainsley reach for Harm's beer. "No, no, baby."
"She's okay" he said. "She can't reach it from the high chair. When can she start eating finger foods, you know, Cheerios and such?"
"Whenever now" Mac sighed. "Want to give her a few Cheerios on her tray?"
"Yeah, why not" he said. "At least it'll be a 'first' I won't miss while I'm gone."
"If she does crawl, I'll try to film it, okay?" Mac smiled.
"I know you will" he said. "I just hope it doesn't happen. I haven't missed anything with her yet, you know?"
"I know" Mac said. "But you will and so will I."
He nodded. "All part of letting her grow up, I guess. Where are the Cheerios? I'll get her a few."
"Top cabinet over the sink" Mac replied.
He went to get the cereal box, opened it up and placed a small handful of Cheerios on Ainsley's tray. "Here, baby girl" he said, putting one to her lips. "See what you think of it. This is one of mommy's favorites."
Ainsley opened her mouth and took in this new treat. She gummed the Cheerio and let out a yelp of glee.
Harm smiled at the baby. "I think we have a hit here, mommy."
"I'm glad. I'd hate to have to fight her on sugar cereals" Mac sighed.
Harm laughed a little. "Now you sound like me. When did you become Miss Healthy?"
"When I saw that latest rates for dentists on the internet" Mac sighed. "A lot of money."
"Have you noticed how a lot of your melancholy moods of late have stemmed from her teething?" he asked.
"Where did that come from?" Mac asked.
"I just mean" he began, "that when you found that first tooth, you got upset because she was growing up so fast, and now you're thinking about the high cost of dental care. I just happened to notice that the baby's teeth seem to be a common theme right now, that's all. Nothing wrong with it, just something I picked up on."
"If you mentioned it, you think there's something wrong with it" Mac replied. "That or you feel like I do but won't admit it."
"No, Mac" he said calmly. "There's nothing wrong with it at all. As for me feeling the same way... Maybe a little, but...I dunno. I hate that I have to leave her; she's so young."
"I'll be here for her" Mac replied. "You'll do fine and so will she. We'll call you every night and send videos on the webcam."
"It won't be the same" he said. "I mean, I'll look forward to it every night, no doubt about that, but I'll miss holding her...and you."
"Well, I guess you'll have to hold us as much as you can tonight" Mac smiled as the baby reached down for the little treats on her tray and started to toss them every which way .
Harm smiled. "She's gonna have those all over the floor before she's done."
"She's having fun" Mac smiled just as Mattie came in the front door. "Home!" she announced and immediately headed for the steps to her room.
"Freeze" said Harm. "Front and center, please."
Mattie groaned and came to the kitchen, scarf wrapped tightly around her neck, hair filled with extra hold gel and skin dyed with make up that made her look ten years older. "What?"
"Uh, where exactly have you been dressed like that?" he asked. "The truth, please."
"Out with my friends at the mall" Mattie replied. She knew she wasn't allowed at the mall on school night, but that was better than the heat she'd get for the whole truth.
Harm looked his teenager in the eye. "We both know that's not the whole story. You wanna try it again, or should I go straight to the sentencing phase of the trial?"
"It's the truth," Mattie insisted. "I was at the mall with Susan and Kim."
He nodded. "Aside from not being allowed at the mall on a school night, that alone isn't all that terrible. Something tells me, though, that Susan and Kim aren't the only ones you were with. Am I correct?"
"No" Mattie insisted. "Can I go now I have to pee?"
"Come to think of it" said Harm as he looked at Mac, "we don't recall meeting 'Susan', do we, Mac?"
"No. Kim I know, she's nice and uh clean..." Mac frowned taking in Mattie's attire. "But Susan, no I don't know her."
He turned his focus back to Mattie. "Okay, kiddo. Start talking."
"No, there's nothing to talk about. We went to the mall, we ate pizza and I came home. Why won't you believe me?" Mattie asked clearly annoyed.
"Oh, we believe that's what you did at the mall" he said. "What we don't believe just yet is that it was just you and two female friends. If we're wrong, you'll no doubt be able to prove it, but if we're right and you keep lying about it..."
"Harm?" Mac interjected gently.
He looked up at her.
"Can we speak in the den?" Mac asked. "Let Mattie use the head and we'll meet on the sofa in ten."
With a nod, he agreed, rising from his kitchen chair and joining Mac in the den.
"You're pushing" she said as soon as she was sure Mattie was out of earshot.
"Am I?" he asked. "I'm not trying to; I just think she's lying to us, Mac."
"She is and the more you push her, the more lying she's going to do" Mac sighed. "Make it easy; if she's still wearing that scarf when she comes down take it off."
He looked at his wife as a smile came over his face. "I dunno why that didn't occur to me. You're smart, babe."
"If she's hiding a hickey or something there's no more denying it...If not...ask her to invite Kim and 'Susan' over to dinner one night next week" Mac suggested. "Keep pushing and we're going to be fighting all week."
"By 'we', you mean you and Mattie" he said, "I won't be around, remember?" His face once again fell sad.
"I know and I don't want to be missing you and fighting her" Mac sighed. "Not with Miss Ainsley being such a little terror lately."
"Aw, my baby's not a terror" he said with a kidding laugh. "She's simply growing into her own little self, that's all."
"She escaped from the infant room, Harm" Mac sighed. "She's a terror. But she's our terror."
He smiled and pulled Mac close. "Well, I'll miss her like crazy; terror and all."
"Sentiment later, sailor" Mac sighed. "Ready for round two?"
"Let's get it over with" he said with a sigh. "I've got packing to do. Mattie!"
"I'm busy" she called from the kitchen.
"Doing?" called Harm back to her.
"Cleaning milk out of my shirt" Mattie replied. "Little Miss dumped it."
Harm looked at Mac. "There shouldn't have been any milk near the baby, should there?"
"Not that I know of" Mac replied. "Unless Mattie left a cup on her chair."
They walked towards the kitchen. "How did Ainsley spill milk on you?" asked Harm as they neared.
"I was pouring the milk, I went to put the carton away and deluge" Mattie griped. "She touches everything." And surely she did, there was not only milk on Mattie, but on the floor, and all over Ainsley.
"Ah, she wanted milk for her cereal" Mac smiled. "Didn't you baby?"
"Sorry she got you like that" said Harm, grabbing a few more paper towels and handing them to the teenager. "When you're cleaned up, we need to talk in the other room."
"I have homework to do" Mattie replied.
"It can wait ten minutes" said Harm, busily cleaning up the baby.
Ainsley picked that moment to give her Daddy a milky kiss and giggled at the mess she had made. Mac was busy mopping up the floor, humming as she mopped.
"I'm gonna go change her into something dry" said Harm, "then we'll all sit down and chat. Don't miss that puddle on the table, Mats."
"She spilled it" Mattie grumbled.
"Yes, and you let her get close enough to spill it" said Harm. "I'll be back."
Harm quickly changed Ainsley into her little pajama set and came back to the den. Mac had stayed to supervise and assist in the clean up and shortly joined Harm in the den with Mattie behind her. "Sit down, Mattie."
"We're going to ask you one more time" said Harm as Mattie took a seat beside Mac, "to tell us who you were with tonight."
"At the mall" Mattie repeated. "Can I go now?"
Mac caught Harm's eye and motioned to the scarf Mattie still had around her neck. She made a pulling sign with her hand using the baby she'd been handed to demonstrate.
"Yeah, you can go" he said, "but not before you take that scarf off."
"Why?" Mattie asked.
"Because I'm asking you to" he said.
Mattie looked scared. "It's just the style" she covered.
"You're at home with your parents and your baby sister" said Harm. "No reason to impress us with fashion. Come on, take it off and you can go."
Mattie was running out of excuses, but still she made no move to remove the scarf. Ainsley found the panicked look on Mattie's face funny and giggled.
"I heard your dad ask you to do something" Mac said calmly. "Please do it or one of us will do it for you."
Mattie sat frozen in fear. Looking at Mac for a moment and receiving an affirmative nod, Harm reached out and undid Mattie's scarf, gently pulling it from around her neck.
Mattie's hands flew to her neck and tried in vain to cover the bite mark on her throat. She looked at her father and saw the pain and disappointment on his face.
"Mathilda Grace Rabb" said Harm, his voice low with emotion. "Spill it. Now."
"Harm" Mac's tone held a tone of warning.
He took a deep breath. "Mattie, talk to us. We need to know where you were and who you were with."
"I don't want to tell you. I'm an adult, I don't have to tell you everything that I do" Mattie shot at them. She didn't want the heat she knew she'd get. She just wanted to date her new friend in peace without Harm and Mac's scrutiny.
"If you want us to treat you like an adult" said Harm, his voice still telling of his hurt, "you have to act like one. Obviously you weren't at the mall with two female friends; at least let's hope that's not where the hickey came from."
"So what if it did?" Mattie shot.
"Come on, Mattie" he said, feeling his patience begin to wear thin. "You broke the rules by being out on a school night without permission, and you lied about who you were with. I have to spend the next week in Key West; I don't need to be worrying about this kind of thing while I'm down there to do my job. Do I just need to ground you for the duration of my trip?"
"No!" Mattie exclaimed. "Fine, I was with my friends and we met up with some guys there. Satisfied?"
"We are most certainly not satisfied!" Mac snapped, her patience, the same patience she'd warned Harm to keep having snapped at the hurt in her husband's voice and the sound of her voice. "You tell us which boys you were with, and how on earth you got that thing on your neck and you do it now or you will not appreciate the consequences!"
"We were with Michael and Austin" said Mattie, "two guys from our math lab, and all we did was have pizza!"
"Explain the hickey" Mac insisted folding her arms.
"Michael kissed me" she said. "Big deal."
"If that's how he kisses" said Harm, pointing to the mark on Mattie's neck, "I'd hate to watch him eat! He's got terrible aim!"
"Okay so maybe we made out" Mattie sighed. "I knew you guys would flip out. You treat me like Ainsley."
"Not hardly" said Harm. "But we've talked about the rules, Mattie, and you know what they are, yet you willfully chose to disobey them. I'm very disappointed in you."
"Yeah, yeah" Mattie groaned. "So what now? Scrub the toilets with a toothbrush? Extra diaper duty?"
"Extra chores for two weeks, no TV for two weeks, and you can get up with your sister if she needs a bottle in the middle of the night while I'm gone this week" said Harm. "Oh yeah, and you're grounded from going out for six weeks." It seemed kind of harsh; all this for coming home with a hickey, but it was the lying that'd done Mattie in.
"You've got to be kidding?" Mattie exclaimed. "There's no way I'm staying home for six weeks and no way I'm getting up to feed the baby when Mac's right here."
Mac decided to let Harm field that one. She wasn't sure she agreed with it but they decided early on never to contradict the other in front of the children.
"You'll do it, Mats" said Harm, "because that's the punishment I laid down for you. All you had to do was tell me the truth and we could have talked things out, but you lied over and over, and that...that really hurts."
Tears sprung to Mattie's eyes. "Not as much as this does!" she declared and turned to run up the steps to her room.
Harm ran his hands over his face. "I've gotta go pack. You need me to clean up the dinner dishes?"
Mac shook her head. "I need you to come here a minute."
He walked over to where Mac sat with Ainsley on the sofa.
Mac moved the baby to the floor, laying her on her tummy and opened her arms to him. "Come on."
He sat down and leaned into her open arms.
"Let's talk about this" she said.
"Not right now, sweetie" he said softly. "I know I overreacted, but she...We'll talk about it later. I'll talk to Mattie before bed."
"I don't mean about overreacting, I mean about this look I see in your eyes" Mac sighed. "She hurt you and that hurts me."
He nodded. "She did hurt me. I know it's just normal teenage stuff, but I don't know why she felt she had to lie and be dishonest. I can't worry too much about it now, though, I've gotta get ready to go."
"Can we just hold each other for a few more minutes?" Mac asked. "I don't want to think about you leaving us."
With a little nod, he leaned his head against her shoulder once again, and together they sat in silence for just a little while.
They sat that way until Ainsley decided it was time to make a break for it and starting rolling her way out of the den. She rolled over past the TV and underneath one of the chairs. It was then her little legs and arms hit the wall and she couldn't figure out how to free herself from the chair. Having only one option left, she let out a wail.
"Uh-oh" he said, rising from the sofa and heading for the kitchen. "Someone got herself stuck, huh?"
"Try to talk her out honey, play with her. I'll get your things together" Mac offered.
"Okay" he said with a yawn. "Come on, Ainsley Bear; let's get you out of here." He moved the chair carefully and then got down on his tummy so he could look into her little face. "Oh, now, don't cry. Come on, roll to daddy. Come on, come see me." Ainsley remained under the chair, crying at her daddy as he just laid there and looked at her. "Oh, alright" he said after a moment, moving to pick her up and cradle her close. "Daddy's sure gonna miss you, baby girl." He placed a kiss atop her head.
Harm stayed in the den and played with the baby, determined to teach her how to roll in both directions. By the time she finally managed it, it was time for her bath, which Harm took care of as he'd miss it the next week. Finally it was time to go and say goodnight to Mattie who was no doubt still mad at him.
He walked up to her room and found her lying on her bed, still crying silently staring at the shadows on the wall.
"Mats?" he said, gently knocking on her door frame. "Can we talk?"
"Do I have a choice?" she asked.
"Yes, you do" he said. "But I'd really like it if you'd choose to talk to me."
"Why did you get so mad?" she asked. "It's just a hickey."
"Because you lied to me" he replied. "You broke the rules, which was bad, but then you lied about them, that's even worse."
"But I had to" Mattie protested.
"Had to break the rules?" asked Harm. "Or had to lie to me?"
"Both I guess" Mattie replied. "But more the second."
"Mattie" he said gently, "you can tell me anything, no matter what it is. I thought you knew that."
"I know I messed up, I just didn't want you to be disappointed in me" she said her voice starting to crack. "I just wanted to forget I did that."
"I'm sure you did" he said. "But you could've told us about it when you got home, and things would've gone far smoother than they did, don't you think?"
"I guess, but..." Mattie rolled over to face Harm, tears spilling down. "I'm sorry, daddy."
"Hey, come here" he said, opening his arms and welcoming her into them. "I love you so much, you know that."
She nodded. "I didn't want to make you ashamed of me. I didn't know what I was doing; I just wanted to try it."
Her words caused every fiber of his being to freeze. "All you 'tried' was kissing, right?"
Mattie nodded. "That and the neck thing."
"Okay, okay" he said, calming himself down as best he could. "I know you're wondering about a lot of 'things' right now, and you may be tempted to try them, but we've talked about all that, correct?"
Mattie nodded. "Yeah we have. I'm sorry about not wanting to feed Ainsley too" Mattie replied. "I guess I'm still...dad?"
"Mm-hmm?"
"Are you and Mac going to have another baby?" Mattie asked.
"We want to" he answered. "We plan to. Why?"
"Just asking" Mattie sighed. "I heard you talking about it, that's all."
"Yeah, we've talked about it" he admitted,"and actually we've even met with our doctor again. Does that bother you, kiddo?"
"I guess I thought you would have talked to me first" Mattie sighed. "But it's okay."
"I'm sorry, Mats" he said, pulling her closer. "I guess we never thought about that."
"Its okay" Mattie smiled. "Are we okay now? I don't want you to be mad at me while you're away."
"I won't" he said. "We're okay; let's just work on better communication and on honesty, alright kiddo?"
"Okay" Mattie smiled. "I love you dad."
"Love you, too, kiddo."
Mac was in bed by the time Harm made it downstairs and changed his clothes. Her eyes were shut and the moonlight was shining in the window playing across her face. She looked like an angel.
He slid into bed beside her, leaned over and whispered against her ear "hi, beautiful."
Mac groaned a bit and turned to face him. "How's she doing?"
"She's fine" he said, planting a soft kiss against her cheek. "How are you?"
"I'm sad" Mac replied rubbing her cheek on his chest. "I don't want you to go."
He smelled the soft scent of her shampoo as her head rested against him. "I don't wanna go" he whispered. "Don't have a choice."
"Resign?" she asked teasingly leaning to place a kiss on his nose.
"Not exactly an option, my love" he replied, pulling her closer.
"I know" she sighed. "I'm going to be scared at night without my handsome sailor."
"Really?" he asked. "I didn't think you got scared when was gone."
She nodded. "I never used to. But I do now. You know I haven't had one bout of insomnia since we moved in together."
"Is that so?" he replied, kissing the top of her head.
"Mm-hmm" Mac nodded. "Know why?"
"Sure don't" he answered. "Tell me why."
"Because I have your arms around me" Mac replied. "There's no reason to be scared. If I do get scared I know you're here to hold me and make it all go away."
"Ah, I see" he said, squeezing her a little tighter. "You just need me to chase your monsters away, huh?"
Mac nodded. "I do. I feel so warm in here, so protected and safe. What if I can't sleep all week?"
"Then you call me" he said, "no matter what the time, and I'll sing you to sleep."
Mac smiled at that a little. "Can you do something for me?" she asked kissing him softly.
"Name it" he replied gently.
"Make love to me?" she asked softly. "Give me something to dream about while you're gone."
"You wouldn't be the only one dreaming" he answered in a passionate whisper.
Harm leaned down and placed a kiss on her lips, using his skilled tongue to pry open her mouth so that his tongue could dance with hers, a dance their bodies would later imitate. Mac wrapped her arms around his neck and held onto him leaning into his kiss.
As he held her close Harm ran his hand up and down her soft back, pulling her closer to his body as if to make her part of him. If only he could literally make her part of him he wouldn't have to leave her in a few hours.
He broke the kiss on her lips and trailed kisses along her jaw to the soft skin at her throat.
Mac moaned in the back of her throat at the sensations Harm's hands and mouth sent coursing through her body. She felt on expert hand working its way underneath the long backless nightgown she had chosen specifically for this occasion.
"New?" he asked as he fiddled with its hem so that he may remove it and expose her body to his view.
"Not really" Mac replied. "I was just saving it for this particular event. Can't have you going off without no pleasant memories now can I?" Mac asked him running her fingertip up his bare chest.
"No you can't" he replied smiling playfully. "How much of this is there?" he asked still working to get all of the material gathered so he may remove the silky garment without ruining it.
Mac laughed. "You're doing just fine, sailor."
Harm did not think so however, and rolled out of bed. "Harm?" Mac queried.
He didn't say anything; he just stepped around to her side of the bed and reached his hands down to her. "Come to me, Mac. Come to me."
Unsure of what he wanted Mac took his hands and responded to the gentle pressure he used to pull her up. She rose and stood before him wearing that long, delicate nightgown. He stepped back. "You...I don't know the words for how amazing you are."
Mac shook her head and closed the gap between them. "None needed."
She leaned her face up just as he leaned his down and their lips met yet again. This kiss began tender, like most of their kisses did, but changed course halfway through. Harm's mouth became insistant, demanding, and hungry. He wanted to taste her, explore her, and he would do just that.
Harm wrapped his long arms around Mac's body and began to play with the thin strings at the back of her nightdress while his mouth once again explored her throat, her cheeks, until his lips were directly against her ears. "Can I see you Baby?" he asked. "Let me have this memory to take with me."
Mac nodded. "Yes" and lifted her arms over her head. Harm reached up, captured her hands and eased them down. "Not yet."
He dropped to his knees them and lifted the hem of the gown just a few inches. He began his exploration of her body by kissing each ankle bone before he proceeded up her right leg and down her left leg.
"Perfect Mac" he whispered as he reached the top of her left leg. He placed the smallest, gentlest of kisses there before backing up and rising taking the material of Mac's nightgown with him.
"Lift up my love" he requested, now ready to bare her body to his view.
Mac obliged him raising her arms above her head and shifting so he could remove the nightgown from her body. He let it drop from his hands once she was free of it and pressed her chest to his. "Beautiful" he whispered to her. "So beautiful."
Mac wrapped her arms around Harm's broad strong back, one finger tip finding the scar left over from his operation. She kissed his lips then placed little kisses on either side of his mouth.
Harm started to walk Mac back to the bed, stepping lightly brushing her knees against his until her legs were touching the side of the bed. "Lie down" he instructed.
Mac smiled a bit. "How come? I kind of like this."
"Because" he whispered, "I can't do what I want to do like this...though this is nice." He once more captured her lips with his own.
"Very nice" she breathed into his mouth. "But now you've got me curious."
Harm gently pushed Mac's shoulders and she obliged him by lying down. Harm ran his hands over her tummy, feeling the soft skin, skin he hoped one day would once again stretch taut as she grew large with their baby.
"Its still soft, tiny" he whispered. "But not much longer. I promise."
He slid his hands up to her breasts and cupped their heavy weight in his hands before burying his face between them kissing the sides until her reached her nipples.
Mac whimpered a bit as he did this but a response died on her lips as she felt Harm take her nipple between his teeth. Harm lifted his face and reached up to capture her lips with his all the while stroking her warm breasts.
"Mac" he gasped.
"I know," she breathed. "I know."
They continued like this for awhile, kissing, stroking, exploring, and trying to memorize every inch of one another's bodies as if they'd never see each other again. Finally though, it was becoming too much for Mac's responsive body to handle. Somewhere in the passage of time Mac rid Harm of his boxers and he rid her of her lacy panties. Now skin to skin Mac could feel his hot hard arousal against the softness of her skin as it pressed into her belly. She wanted him; she needed to feel him, only she didn't have the breath or the strength to vocalize that.
She thus locked her legs around him, pulling him close. He rose up once and pressed down, entering her, filling her to capacity. He brought her soaring with him as he moved plunging deep, then he withdrew, not returning to her body. His lips seemed to be everywhere, over her own lips, on her neck, over her nipples, teasing and nibbling, first one then the other. Mac writhed against the pillow whispering frantic incoherent whispers begging him to cease this torture and come to her, fill her, only he did not. He stroked and caressed the length of her with his kiss, tasting every inch. When he was done he rolled over and lifted her above him positioning her so that she could ease herself down onto his sex. He began to move under her and she did the same. Harm left his eyes opened and watched as her as their motion slowly brought them both to their climax.
When their love making ceased Mac slipped herself off of him and lay to his side, amazed at the pleasure they could derive from each other even after they'd done this dance many times. His arm came around her and he held her close, stroking her arms with his left hand, the moonlight glinting off his wedding band as he lay there, relishing in the glory of feeling her next to him, warm and alive.
It was as thety did this that she heard his voice, husky and low against her ear, "Will you miss me?"
"Harm" she began.
"Will you miss me?" he repeated not wanting to have any other conversation at this moment.
"Yes," she replied and buried her face in the crook of his arm. "God, yes…"
Two days had passed, and for Harm and Mac it felt like two hundred days, two hundred years. He missed her terribly, and she...she did more than miss him. She pined for him, ached for his arms at night, the smell of his shampoo in the morning, the week could not pass fast enough for either of them.
Both would wait with baited breath for the stroke of ten when Harm would be able to call home and talk to his wife and daughters. Tonight though, it was ten fifteen and he still had not called.
"Something's happened" Mac fretted to Mattie as the teen rocked the baby. "I know it."
"He's probably in the workout room or something" said Mattie. "I'm sure he's fine."
"He always calls at ten. Its ten sixteen" Mac sighed.
"Call him" said Mattie, moving her baby sister in her arms. "He left the number for you, use it."
"Then he'll know I was worried" Mac frowned.
"If he's not able to call you on time" replied the teen, "he knows you're worried. I'm sure there's a good explanation for why he hasn't called yet. You know how TAD can go sometimes."
"But this is...he's in a plane. He promised me he wouldn't..." Mac reached out for her baby wanting to hold her close.
Just then, the phone rang, startling Mac as she took Ainsley into her arms.
Mattie grabbed for the handset. "Rabb residence."
"Hey, kiddo" Harm said. "How's everything at home?"
"Good" said Mattie, "but we miss you like crazy. How's Florida treating you? Is it hot?"
"It's not too bad" he replied. "How's Mac? She there?"
"Yep" answered the teen. "She's been worried about you, since you didn't call right at ten. How come you called late?"
"I was in the infirmary" Harm replied.
"Oh, wow" said Mattie. "Why? What happened? Are you okay?" The questions came one atop another.
"Yeah...I had to get a couple stitches, but I'm fine" Harm replied. "Get Mac for me."
"She's right here" said Mattie, "I love you, dad."
"Love you, honey" Harm replied.
"Harm?" Mac said into the phone. "Why are you so late?"
"I spent the last two hours waiting to get stitched up" he answered. "I would've called on time, but it's kind of hard to do that when a junior med tech is using you as a guinea pig."
"Stitched up? Why?" Mac asked. "What happened? Do I need to come down there?"
"No, sweetie, no, no" he said adamantly. "It's nothing serious, just a cut on my finger."
"You needed stitches. I was worried sick" Mac scolded.
"I know you were" he said sympathetically, "and if I could've called at ten, you know I would have. I got cut on the edge of a filing cabinet drawer that could double as a Ginsu knife, and I literally spent two hours waiting for them to get around to fixing me up. In the hurry to get to the infirmary, I left my cell phone in my room, and of course they wouldn't let me call you from their line. I dashed back and called you first thing when it was over. I miss you so much, baby."
"As long as you're okay" Mac sighed and set Ainsley down on her little mat. "I miss you."
"I'm fine, I swear" he said. "How's our baby girl? She all grown up yet?"
"She's good. She's fussier at night these last two nights" Mac replied.
"Teeth?" he asked.
"Maybe. I think she's missing you though" Mac replied. "Not to make this harder on you but I think that's what it is."
He sighed. "You know, we should've made a tape of me talking to her or singing her song. Didn't even think to do that."
"I think it might just make her look for you, babe" Mac sighed. "She'll be happy to see you when you get home. And so will I. I miss your arms."
"I miss your whole body" he replied softly. "My memory from the other night's already wearing thin. I miss you so much it's killing me."
"Me too" Mac replied and yawned.
"You sound like you're ready for bed" he said.
"I am" she replied. "Ainsley?"
"Probably not so much" he said with a little laugh. "Why don't you let Mattie take care of her so you can head for bed?"
"No I mean...Mattie do you have the baby?" she asked.
"No" said the red-haired teen. "She was on her mat. Did you look around?"
"Did you lose her again?" asked Harm.
"Yeah, she was on her mat and now she's gone" Mac sighed. "Ainsley? Answer mommy."
"Don't tell me she learned to talk in the past 3 days" said Harm, feeling even more homesick than before.
"No, but she'll babble" Mac replied. "Ainsley! Ainsley this isn't funny!" Mac scolded and started to look around the living room. "Oh!" she gasped in delight. "Oh my goodness!"
"What?" exclaimed Harm in panicked horror. "What happened?"
"She...Oh Ainsley, baby!" Mac squealed. "Oh."
"Mac! What happened? Is she hurt?" he yelled. "Talk to me!"
"No, she...she's fine she...She just crawled across the living room" Mac told him pride dripping from her voice.
"She crawled?" he repeated, his voice a mixture of happiness and pain. "Do you have the camera handy?"
"Yeah" Mac replied. "Let me get her to do it again. I'll call you back." With that, she hung up.
Harm closed his cell phone and slumped back against the headboard of his bed. "I knew I'd miss something big" he said, wishing against everything he'd been able to see Ainsley's first crawl.
He lay there for nearly an hour waiting for Mac to call him back or e-mail him the video of his baby daughter crawling across their floor. Finally the phone rang.
"Yes, my love?" he said.
"Sorry, it took forever to get her to do it again" Mac replied. "I'd call her and she'd start rolling, but I finally got it."
"Should I boot up the laptop?" he asked.
"Yep" Mac replied. "She's really good at it too. I'm so proud of her. She'll go a few clicks then stop and look at you, then go again."
"I thought babies usually had to practice to get good at that" he said as he dug his computer out of its carrying case and plugged it in.
"Well she seems pretty good at it to me, but of course I'm her mommy so I'm biased' she said yawning again.
"Well send it my way" he said, "let daddy see for himself."
"It should be there" Mac said.
"Ah, yeah, it just showed up" he said, clicking the mouse over the e-mail. "Okay, it's opening...Oh, wow...look at her..." He was so proud of his little girl; it was all he could do not to cry.
"You okay?" Mac asked.
"Not really" he said as he swallowed hard.
"I shouldn't have told you" she sighed. "I'm sorry."
"Its okay" he said, trying to mask his sadness. "You were excited, and you wanted to tell me. I'll be okay; I'm just really missing my girls tonight, that's all."
"Only five more days" he replied. "Ainsley, Mattie and I are planning something special."
"Oh, you are, huh?" he said. "I can't wait to see what that might be...but I really can't wait..."
"I know, honey" Mac replied then broke into a fit of laughter.
"What's so funny?" he asked, figuring he was missing out on yet another precious moment in his daughter's life.
"She's using her feet and her hands to hold her bottle" Mac laughed. "You're a silly girl aren't you?"
With those words from Mac, Harm felt a wave of emotion come over him, and he closed the phone without warning.
Mac was so engrossed in watching her baby girls' antic that she didn't think anything of the broken connection, she just stood up, gathered the baby and got her ready for bed.
Harm tossed the phone onto the desk beside the laptop, which he powered down and unplugged before changing out of his uniform. With a heavy heart, he brushed his teeth and crawled into bed, missing his family so terribly, just from the phone call, that a small part of him felt like an outsider, looking into their precious world and having to relive it second-hand via modern technology. He knew he'd miss something big with Ainsley that week, and the fact that he was right about that pained him something fierce.
Three days later Mac was getting much more tired. She missed Harm so much she ached and the baby was getting fussier. He'd grown distant in the last few days, keeping his phone calls short and not asking very many questions. Tonight was the worst, only six minutes and twenty four seconds. She lay awake, again, and fretted about that. She missed her husband; she wanted to hear his voice, so in spite of the time, 0341, she dialed his cell number.
He awoke with a start, taking a moment to figure out if it was the alarm clock or his phone making all that noise. Once he decided it was his phone, he grabbed it from the nightstand, dropping it before finally getting it open to answer. "Mac...? It's...What's wrong?"
Her only reply was a strangled sob.
"Mac? What happened?" he asked, fearing something had happened to one of the girls. "Is the baby okay? Mattie, is she okay?"
"Yes" she replied. "They're both okay."
"But you're not" he said. "What's wrong?"
"I miss you" she sobbed. "I miss you so much. I need you...I want you to come home" she cried.
"You miss me enough to call at...whatever time it is, to say you miss me?" he asked, still trying to wake up. "Baby, have you been laying awake thinking about this?"
Mac nodded but did not realize that he couldn't see her.
"Mac? Talk to me, baby" he said gently. "I miss you, too; I'm, God, I'm here all alone in this room, and this bed is so empty without you beside me."
"I...I'm sorry. I can't sleep...I..." she sobbed. "I need you to hold me."
"Baby doll, I...I can't hold you from here" he said, the sound of her crying causing his heart to break. "But if I could, I'd hold you as close to me as I could and never let go. Can I do anything to make you feel better tonight, my love?"
"I don't know. I'm...I don't know" Mac sighed calming down a little bit.
"When did this start, baby?" he asked. "Have you lain awake crying for me since I left? Please tell me you haven't."
"I wasn't always crying" she replied. "That's new."
"How much sleep have you been getting?" he asked. "Between getting up with the baby and missing me, how much have you slept?"
"Two hours" she replied.
"Mac" he said, "two hours a night isn't nearly enough. You have to take care of yourself, remember?"
She mumbled something then but he could hardly hear her.
"I didn't hear you, sweetie" he said.
"It wasn't a night" she said more clearly some of her tears having stopped.
"Oh Mac" he gasped. "Two hours in five days? Baby, this...I'm so sorry that you're so upset, but you have to find a way past it, or by the time I get home, you'll be sick, to say nothing of too worn out for me to do all the things I want to do with you."
"Before we got married I went weeks on end with half hour of sleep a night" Mac replied. "It's no big deal."
"But it is" he insisted gently. "When have you been getting into bed? What time?"
"Midnight" Mac replied. "After Ainsley's bottle."
"Bottle?" he asked. "You usually nurse her before bed. What happened?"
"She's been falling off on the bottles, and I know you are going to want to feed her some so I added an extra" Mac replied.
"You didn't have to do that for me, baby" he said softly. "But thank you. I hate that you're so sad...I wish we were together tonight...I'm missing you, too."
"Why have you stopped talking when you call then? Only six minutes tonight" Mac sighed.
He offered a deep sigh. "I've been beating myself up over being gone this week. It seems like every call only makes me feel worse, which is so stupid because I'm supposed to feel better after I hear your voice and find out how my little angel is doing, but..."
"You're crying at night too, aren't you?" Mac asked. "And we didn't get disconnected the night she crawled? Did we?"
"No" he replied softly. "I didn't want my disappointment cloud your happiness, and I didn't handle it well. I'm sorry, baby."
"I can't do this anymore" she sighed heavily. "We have to do something."
"Like what?" he asked calmly. "We both know TAD is a part of military life, and this is the first one since we had the baby and since we got married; it's bound to get easier."
"I'm being dramatic; I'm sorry" Mac sighed. "My head hurts."
"I'm sorry about that" he said softly. "If I was there, I'd give you a little back rub, that almost always kills those headaches."
"But you're not here, and that's the whole point" Mac sighed. "I know this is hard on you but...I feel like...I just...It's finally happened. My worst nightmare has finally happened" she sighed.
"I'm coming back, Mac" he said. "I'll be home in two days."
"I know" Mac said. "But I've always been on my own, tough, hard, now...I'm dependent on you. I need you like I need air and that scares me just a bit." She had regained her composure now and was starting to relax.
"I need you the same way" he admitted. "I think it's called being in love."
"It's nice, isn't it?" Mac asked. "Harm?"
"Mm-hmm?"
"You said if I couldn't sleep you'd sing to me" Mac reminded him.
"I did, didn't I?" he replied. "What would you like to hear, my sweet love?"
"Any song that makes you think of me" Mac replied. "Something romantic."
"There's one song that will always make me think of you" he said. "Know what it is?"
"No" Mac replied. "Tell me." Her voice was starting to fade as she listened to his rich voice and let her body relax.
"Our wedding song" he replied softly as he began singing the first lines of the ever-popular Elton John song from "The Lion King" soundtrack.
Mac listened to Harm's voice as he sang the words that had become immortalized on their wedding day. She didn't hear a word after the first chorus though, for she was finally asleep.
After that night, Harm and Mac would stay on the phone until she fell asleep. Hearing his voice in the night was what she needed to feel secure and know he was close to her. Still, the day of his homecoming could not come soon enough.
Mac kept her appointment with Dr. Kendall for her lab work, and now had to wait for the results, which would not come in until Harm was home, thankfully.
Finally the day of Harm's homecoming was upon them. Mac took a half day and spent time getting everything ready for him. She'd promised him a surprise and he would surely get one.
He walked through the front door that afternoon a little before dinner time. Instantly, he knew something special was in the oven by the aroma which greeted him. With a smile, he headed for the staircase, only to be stopped by what he saw in the kitchen. There was a handmade banner which read "Welcome home, daddy" in bright red letters, and standing beneath it were the three most important people in his life. With an even bigger smile, he went to them, taking them all into a hug. "God, I missed you all!"
Mattie and Mac squeezed Harm tightly and Ainsley squealed loudly, delighted daddy was finally home to play with her.
Mac pulled back after a minute, "I think I have something you want" she teased holding Ainsley out to him.
"Come here, beautiful girl" said Harm, taking the baby in his hands and holding her above his head, something he missed doing while his back was at its worst. "Daddy missed you so much, little one." He brought her close and planted a huge kiss against her cheek.
Ainsley giggled a bit at first then started to whimper as Harm held her.
"Oh, hey now" he said as hr swung back and forth with her gently. "Daddy wants a happy baby, not a sad baby. What's wrong?"
"I think she wants to be cuddled" Mac replied. "She really missed you and she sort of developed that cry while you were away."
"She did?" he asked, amazed and proud. "Well then, you'll get as much of your daddy tonight as you could possibly want, Ainsley Rose." He gave the baby another sweet kiss.
"What about Mommy?" Mac whispered leaning against his back.
He turned his face towards her and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips. "There's lots more where that came from" he whispered.
"Good" she smiled. "If I decide to let you in tonight you'll have to show me what you've got. Mattie! Wash up!"
"If you decide to let me in?" he questioned with a light laugh. "Are you contemplating shipping me to the sofa or something?"
"Uh, maybe" Mac replied. "What do you want for a husband who leaves his wife all alone, night after night."
"Night after...but I had to be gone, Mac" he defended. "I'd much rather have been beside you, believe me!"
"Say what you want" Mac sighed. "Wash up for dinner."
Placing Ainsley into her high chair, he went to the bedroom to toss his things in the corner and wash up for dinner. He couldn't understand why Mac was so upset with him, but he hoped to talk about it once the kids were down for the night.
Mac kept this attitude up all the way through supper. She could see it was starting to hurt him, but that was precisely where she wanted him. She had a plan, a lovely plan that would only work out properly if he was in the right place emotionally and physically. She needed him confused, off his game, and completely vulnerable.
Harm spent the entire meal trying to hide the pain he was feeling. He'd been gone for a week, and his wife was treating him as if he'd run to the corner store for a loaf of bread. He wasn't sure why she was so...cold, so distant when she'd been the one to call him at all hours of the night and cry about how badly she missed him. He wasn't sure what he expected exactly with regard to his homecoming, but he knew one thing - this wasn't it at all.
Harm was sitting holding Ainsley on his lap. The infant had decided that daddy's nose tasted good as she kept trying to get it in her mouth. It was nearly ten when Mac said, "Time to put her to bed."
"You want to feed her, or you want me to give her a bottle?" he asked, not wishing to upset her further.
"You can give her a bottle and put her down" Mac replied. "I have some reading to do."
"Okay" he replied sadly, having no earthly clue what reading could possibly be important enough for her to do at that moment. He went to the kitchen to warm a bottle, feeling sadder by the second, wondering what he'd done - aside from being gone for a week - that could have his wife so upset.
"I'm not sure what's wrong with your mommy, Ainsley Bear" he said as he waited by the warmer. "Daddy sure wishes he did, though."
They baby gurgled in response and turned her little face to brush against Harm's shirt as if to say, "I love you daddy."
He squeezed her close. "I sure did miss you, baby girl."
After feeding the baby and getting her settled into her crib for the night, Harm trudged into the master bedroom and flopped down onto the bed. He sat there on the edge, head in his hands, feeling utterly confused and very, very sad.
Mac listened to Harm as he talked to the baby and watched as he solemnly went to their room. She had him right where she wanted him, just like a sad lonely war hero she'd seen in an old movie a few nights back. Slipping out of her regular clothes and into the plain cotton dress she'd decided to wear for this occasion, she went to him.
The door opened and Harm looked up to see Mac dressed in a blue cotton dress with tiny white flowers on it. She stood in the dimly lit doorway and said nothing.
"Mac?" he asked, still as confused as before.
"Is there a sad lonely sailor in here?" she asked stepping a bit closer.
"Yeah" he replied, his voice still sad and low.
She kept coming closer. "It's been hard hasn't it?"
"Uh...yeah, I guess it has" he answered, eyes now fixed on her.
"You're tired?" she asked. "Stressed? Sore?" She moved even closer.
"Mm-hmm" he replied, beginning to feel a little better. "All three."
Mac closed the remaining space and knelt before him. "Missing someone?"
"I was" he admitted softly. "But I don't think she missed me."
"Why's that?" Mac asked. Yep, this had worked like a charm.
"Because" he began, "she didn't act like I thought she would when I came home."
"How did she act?" Mac asked him, reaching out now to touch the soft skin on his face.
"Like she was upset with me" he said softly. "Like I hadn't been gone more than a few minutes. I missed her like crazy, and I thought she missed me the same, but..."
"But what?" Mac asked.
"But she didn't" he said, "because if she did, she wouldn't have frozen me out like she did."
Mac leaned over and took his lips with her in a gentle kiss, meant to stir him from the inside out. "How's that for a homecoming?"
He stared into her deep brown eyes. "Now that's more like it" he smiled.
Mac pulled back and began to unlace his shoes, working removing first the right, then the left. "I had you big time didn't I?" she asked.
He nodded and laughed a little bit. "You really did...but why?"
"To make you wonder" she smiled.
"Well, it worked" he stated with a grin.
"Mm-hmm" Mac replied. "And there's more where it came from."
"Well, by all means" he said, "let's have it."
Moving both of his shoes aside she reached underneath his pants and removed his socks. She ran her hands over his large feet and took one in her lap and began to massage it.
"Ooh, that's nice" he said as his arms supported him as he leaned back just a little.
"Glad you like it" she replied working her hands over every inch of his foot before moving to the other one. This one had tension in the arch. "Ooh, what happened?"
"Dunno" he said. "Could be anything."
"Let's see if I can get it out" she sighed and began massaging the tension out using gentle pressure and making soft sounds. "How's that, baby?"
"Nice" he sighed, feeling himself begin to unwind at the feel of her touch.
"I hope so" she replied. "I want it all to feel very nice. I missed you so much."
"Not any more than I missed you" he said, sitting all the way up and leaning forward to bring her near for another kiss.
Mac responded well to this kiss, moving her lips up and down over his. "Let's get this uniform off of you" she whispered against his lips. "How's your back?"
"Back's fine" he said as he continued the kiss. "Heart's not so good. Been missing you too much."
"Lay back, sailor" Mac replied. "On the bed."
He did as she asked, but without letting go of her, thus bringing her down on top of himself.
"Harm" she whispered.
"Hmm?" he replied, pulling her into another tender kiss.
"Let me go" she replied.
"Is that an order?" he asked softly, playfully.
"Yes" Mac replied. "I still have work to do. Like getting you comfy and out of this uniform."
"Ah, okay" he said gently releasing his arms from around her body.
Mac stayed on top of him and began to unbutton is uniform shirt slipping it off his shoulders. "Lift up."
He did so, allowing her to slide the garment from beneath him.
"Lean against me" she replied as she dipped her hands beneath his waistband and started to remove his undershirt. "Give me a minute and I'll see what I can do about that pain you complained about."
With relative ease Mac removed his undershirt and discarded it with his uniform top. She pushed Harm back against the pillows and began to rub his chest with her hands, paying special attention to his rib cage and of course the skin around his nipples. She leaned over and kissed her way from one side of his body to the other, then down to his navel and back up until she could take his lips.
"Mmmmm" he said as their lips met. "That felt nice, baby."
Mac returned his kiss. "Nothing feels as nice as...Do you know my favorite part of being married to you?"
He silently shook his head, just a little.
"Sleeping with your arms around me" Mac replied. "I missed that. I missed your strength."
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her nearer than she already was. "I missed you more than I ever imagined possible...the same way I love you."
"Do you want to make love tonight?" Mac asked.
"If we don't" he whispered, "I think I just might die."
"I wasn't sure I wanted to" Mac replied.
"Really?" he asked softly, again a bit taken aback. "Do you want to now?"
"I'm really up to be held close" Mac replied. "Like you promised on the phone."
"I'm not sure how much closer I can hold you" he said with a smile as he squeezed her a little tighter. "But I'll be glad to lie like this all night if that's what you want."
Mac lay on top of his chest, snuggling close. "What kind of case was it, babe?"
"Conduct unbecoming" he said as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Lieutenant charged with getting drunk at a baseball game and cursing at a little boy in line for the concession stand."
"At least it wasn't anything very bad" Mac replied enjoying being held. "Did you enjoy your time with Ainsley?"
"Always" he answered with a big smile. "I missed her almost as much as I missed you."
"She did miss you. When she got up for that night feeding she cried longer and fussed" Mac told him.
"Poor baby" he said. "Did you nurse her or do a bottle?"
"Mattie usually got her, and then I had to get up and nurse her because she was upset" Mac replied. "Do you think..."
"What?" he encouraged, rubbing her back gently as he spoke.
"Do you think you could talk to the General about limiting the amount of trips you have to do? AJ did it for Bud when little AJ was young" Mac replied.
"Mac, baby, one trip in the last 6 months is pretty limited" he said. "But if it'll help, I'll ask him about it."
"That's only because of your back" Mac replied. "You're barely back a month."
"I know" he said. "I'll see what he'll agree to."
"Thank you," she replied leaning down to kiss his chest again. "How about we get rid of these pants?"
"I think that's a very nice idea" he said, still wondering where his wife's little plot was heading but enjoying it so far.
"Do you want me?" she asked as she undid the fasteners on his pants.
"Want you how?"
"As a woman?" Mac asked him. "Do you want to touch me? Do you want me to touch you?" she asked this as she caressed his body through his underclothes.
He felt his heart skip a beat as she touched him. He simply replied "I do."
Mac smiled and began to pull on his pants moving them over his hips and down his legs, revealing his long muscular thighs and calves and running her hands up and down them. "I want you too."
"Come get me" he said, his words deep and commanding.
That was all the encouragement Mac needed. She reached up then and pulled his boxers down until both sets of pants were around his ankles. "Help me."
He raised one leg a little, then the other, allowing her to remove his clothes as she wanted to do. "Better?"
"Much" she replied and began to kiss him again starting at his ankle and working his way up, not unlike what he'd done to her the day he left. She did this until she was once again lying on top of him. She sat up, straddled his legs and began to undo the tiny buttons on her cotton dress.
He reached up to her hands as they worked on the buttons. "May I?"
She nodded and dropped her hands.
He slowly and carefully undid each remaining button, sliding his hand inside the ever-widening gap as it formed along the front of her dress. He stopped with three buttons remaining, sliding both hands inside the gap and running them oh-so-softly against her breasts, which were his for the taking, no bra in sight. "You're so beautiful" he said under his breath.
"You're not so bad yourself" she replied and rolled off of him lying flat, letting him know he was in control.
He in turn rolled over to straddle her and finish up with the buttons. He finished with the last one, leaving the front of her body, from the waist up, completely open to his desires. He looked at her for a moment before leaning down on his elbows and kissing her neck; tenderly at first, then more impassioned, then once again soft as he moved down to her shoulder.
Mac lay back and enjoyed his attentions on her body. She loved the way his lips felt against her skin, warm and soft at the same time. He kissed her arms down to her hands, kissed her belly up to her breasts, and then set to work on her breasts, taking time to nibble, soothe, and bathe each nipple.
"Oh…" Mac gasped as she worked on her chest.
"Feel good?" he asked, pausing only long enough to pose the question.
"Ooh" she moaned in her throat. "Aches" she whispered. "I...Off."
He lifted his body off of hers, and stood at the foot of the bed. Grabbing the hem of her dress, he began to pull gently. "Lift up, baby" he said.
Mac lifted her hips off the bed to make it easier for him to bare her body to his view. When he had done so and stood looking at her, taking her in, she raised her knees, "Make love to me. Now."
He crawled back into bed and straddled her body once more. "What if I'm not ready just yet?" he asked, his blue eyes glimmering in the warm shadow cast upon the room from the street lamp out front.
"I just might die" she whispered echoing his earlier words.
"Well, we certainly can't have that happen" he said, "now, can we?"
"No" she sighed. "We can't. What are you going to do about it?"
"Exactly what I know you want me to do" he replied in a heated whisper as he planted a slow, passionate kiss against her lips.
Mac returned the kiss fiercely bringing her legs up to lock them around his hips, using her ample strength to hold him to her. "I want you. I love you so much."
"I know the feeling" he gasped as he moved his body against hers, knowing it drove her crazy.
She gave a whimper and lifted her hips against his body to encourage him. It had been a long week and while neither wanted to rush, both needed to have the other very badly.
While Harm wished the kissing and touching could go on forever, he knew that neither Mac nor he could last any longer. He raised his hips and pressed his length into her. He let out a groan of pleasure as he felt her muscles clamp around him and her hips begin to move with him, in a rhythm so perfect, so ancient, and yet so unique unto them.
Harm kept his pace slow and steady; showing her this was love, not desperation, and Mac received and appreciated that message. When they reached their simultaneous climax, and he had rolled to her side, Mac had tears dripping down her face.
"Did that hurt you, baby?" he asked, reaching over to wipe away her falling tears.
Her face crumbled and she buried her head against his chest.
"Hey, hey" he whispered, wrapping his arm around and bringing her near. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry if I did."
"It didn't hurt" she managed. "But..." She broke off and cried harder.
He rolled over a little in order to put both arms around her. "Shh...It's okay, love" he soothed. "Can you tell me why you're so upset?"
"Because I know" she replied. "As beautiful as this is...it will never get us what we want."
He knew right away what she meant. "A baby" he said.
She nodded her head. "I'm sorry, Harm."
"Please don't be" he said tenderly. "It's not your fault; it's just the way it goes for us, and I'm okay with it. Well, not 'okay', but...I've accepted that we have to work harder to have our babies, but it just means we'll love them that much more."
"I know, but that's not what I'm sorry for" she replied sniffling.
"Tell me why you're sorry" he encouraged, wiping the still-falling tears from her face.
"Because I bring this into every aspect of our lives. I get emotional and cry like this over it when I know it won't help" Mac sighed and tried to sit up.
"No, no" he said, "lie here with me so we can talk about this. It's not wrong for you to be upset about it, to feel like it's taking over every aspect of our lives, or to cry about it." He leaned down to kiss the top of her head.
"But it ruined your homecoming" she whispered. "This was supposed to be full of joy not this pain. There's just so much pain all the time."
"I know, baby" he said. "If I could make it disappear, you know I would, but it's not that easy. I know it's a super emotional struggle that we're going through, but it's based on a medical condition, not anything you or I did wrong. It sucks and it's not fair, but...it's life for us."
Mac remained silent for a minute then just as she was about to speak their first little miracle let out a cry they could hear even without the assistance of the ever presence baby monitor.
"Want me to get her?" he asked as he rubbed her back.
"Yeah" Mac replied. "I don't think she's ready to eat. Might be that top tooth."
"Might be" he agreed. "You gonna be okay for a minute?"
"Yeah" she replied. "I'm going to go to the bathroom."
With a nod and another kiss, Harm climbed out of bed and went to retrieve Ainsley from her nursery. By the time he got her changed, grabbed her pink blanket and returned to the bedroom, Mac was back in bed.
The baby was practically screaming by the time Harm got her into the bedroom, thrashing her little head around and flailing her arms.
"What's wrong, baby girl?" he asked as he tried to calm her down.
Mac slipped out of bed and walked around to where Harm stood rocking the baby. She touched her little head, "Harm?"
"What?" he replied as Ainsley continued to wail.
"Get the baby thermometer" Mac told him and moved to take the baby from her daddy.
"Uh, okay" he said, handing the baby to Mac and heading for the medicine cabinet. He returned 30 seconds later with the thermometer. "Here, babe."
Mac held the baby on her lap and took the thermometer and placed it in the baby's ear. She counted the appropriate number of seconds and read the digital output. "Almost 100."
"100? That's way too high!" exclaimed Harm. "She must be sick, poor thing! What do we do?"
"We calm down" Mac replied. "It's no where near high for a baby. If I hold her, can you check her gums and see if they are hot or red?"
"I'll try" he said. "Lemme wash my hands." He hurried to the bathroom and washed his hands before returning to where Mac and Ainsley were waiting. "Okay, baby girl" he said softly. "Open up for daddy..."
He felt around, noticing her little gums felt hot and a bit swollen, and right there, front and center, was the tiniest edge of another tooth. "Oh yeah" he said. "That top tooth."
"That's what's wrong with her" Mac cooed more to the baby than Harm. "Let's walk baby, and daddy will get you a cold ring. Come on."
"Which one should I get?" he asked as he retied the belt on his robe. "Snoopy or Baby Mickey?"
"Baby Mickey stays colder longer" Mac replied as she followed Harm out to the kitchen.
He opened the freezer and brought out the teething ring, rinsing it off a little before handing it to Mac. "Will she hold it or do you still hold it for her?"
"See if she'll do it" Mac replied sitting down on the sofa with the baby in her lap.
Harm offered the cold ring to the baby but she refused it, still flailing her hands and arms. "Okay" said Mac. "Let me have it." She took the adorable little teething ring and held it in her daughter's mouth. Only then did the baby's wails start to die down.
"Looks like she'll be a rough teether" said Harm through a yawn.
"Seems like it, and these aren't even her molars" Mac replied. "You're tired, babe. Why don't you go to bed? I've got this."
"I know you do" he said, "but I have a better idea. Why don't I sit here with you two until she's ready to go back down, then we can all go back to bed?"
"We could be at this all night, honey" Mac sighed. "She had a night like that when you were away."
"All the more reason for me to wait up" he said. "I'm no more tired than you are, babe, and besides, I've missed you."
"Okay" Mac agreed. "She seem to be settling? I can't see from this angle."
He looked at his daughter as she gnawed on Baby Mickey's ear. "I think so" he said. "Least she's not crying anymore. She still chewing on everything she can get into her mouth?"
"Yes" Mac replied. "Including mommy, right angel?"
"That reminds me" he said as he rubbed his tired eyes, "how'd your blood tests go at Dr. Kendall's office?"
Mac continued to rock Ainsley and stroked her little head. "They were okay for the most part."
"Which part wasn't okay?" he asked, concerned but not too worried.
"My prolactin levels are too high and my iron levels are still a bit too low, but the prolactin is more concerning that the iron" Mac replied.
"How come?" he asked.
"It keeps my cycles from kicking back in" Mac replied. "If my cycles are off we can't get pregnant."
Harm nodded sleepily. "What can he do about it, anything?"
"He wants me to taper off on breastfeeding her" Mac replied. "He wants to recheck in a month."
Again, he nodded. "You okay with that?"
"I don't know" Mac replied. "I don't see as I have much choice. If we want to have another baby I'll have to."
"Don't hate me for what I'm about to say" he said, "but if you're not ready to start cutting back on nursing her, you don't have to. We can wait a little longer, which I know you don't want to do, but I think you have to decide what feels right to you."
"Neither feels right to me" Mac sighed. "But I'm going to try her on the formula Dr. Kendall recommended and if she has even the tiniest problem with it, we'll stop."
"Didn't he say" asked Harm, "when we met with him together, that you could freeze a bunch of milk ahead of time and then use that as you cut out a feeding or two?"
"Yes, he did. I'm going to start there but if it doesn't improve in a month and we have to drop more feedings then I'll have to try her on formula" Mac sighed. "She out?"
He looked once more at the baby in Mac's lap. "Mm-hmm, she's out."
"Can you put her in bed while I go to the bathroom again," Mac asked. "I'll meet you in bed."
"Certainly" he said with a weary smile as he rose from his chair and took his child into his arms.
Harm put the sleeping baby in the bed and then went to join his wife in bed. She was lying down already, and had his side of the covers pulled back. He slipped in beside her and gathered her close. "Good night, sweetheart" she whispered against his chest, closing her eyes. Harm's only response was a light snore.
A/N: I know, not much to this chapter, but hopefully the little bit of fluff made it worthwhile. :)