How to Lose Your Ears in Ten Days

Day 5

By YaoiKitten

For Rahzel, for everything you've done for me and being a sweetheart about it.

Ritsuka shouldn't have been surprised to see Natsuo and Youji waiting for him out in the hall during his lunch break. He knew, fundamentally, that the Zeroes had a habit of popping up when you least expected them and then disappearing just as quickly. Soubi had told him about how they had left him at the café the other day, but had been strangely tight-lipped about what their conversation had been about or why they left. Ritsuka had gotten so frustrated with Soubi's lack of detail that he had picked up his school bag and went home. He had a curfew, anyway, and it was getting late.

Soubi had let him go, had not even tried to stop him. That, in and of itself, had Ritsuka more vexed than anything. Soubi had just let him walk out.

Now, the Zeroes were standing out in the hall, waiting for him. It seemed strangely ominous somehow, as if they were there for a fight. His hand fluttered to his cell phone, ready to call Soubi at a moments notice.

But Natsuo smiled at him, and Youji waved. He reminded himself that they weren't there for a fight, but old habits died hard. He kept the cell phone in his hand just the same. Ever since they went back to Negisa-sensei, he just couldn't trust them-- though it wasn't like he ever did in the first place.

"Hey Ritsuka!" Youji said when he went out to meet them.

"How did you guys get in here? This isn't your school…" He didn't think that they even went to school, other than that Fighter school that they had attended. He didn't even know what they were doing now, if they worked or went to school or where they lived. He'd have to ask Soubi about it later.

They laughed together, a childish melody that made Ritsuka cringe. It was too creepy.

"We're the same age, like anybody knows whether or not we attend this school!"

Ritsuka nodded. They had a point and he agreed that it had been a stupid question on his part. "What do you guys want?"

"To see you, Loveless."

He flinched. He hadn't heard that name in a while.

"Let's go outside, and not do this here." He turned and walked down the hall, obviously expecting the Zeroes to follow him.

Natsuo walked up beside him and threw his arm around his shoulder, pulling him close to speak softly into his ear. Natsuo was a little shorter than him, but he was tall enough that is wasn't uncomfortable. "Are you nervous around us? Why?"

Youji came up on his other side and, not seeing anything else he could do, slipped his arm around Ritsuka's waist. "We're not here to fight you, y'know."

Ritsuka kept walking, hoping that they would get bored of trying to torment him and let go. He wasn't scaring, which was good since they really weren't trying to threaten him, maybe just creep him out a bit. The feel of their hips rubbing against his definitely made him uncomfortable though. "Does this have something to do with Soubi?"

Youji looked at him, clearly surprised. "He told you about our conversation?"

Ritsuka stopped midstep, pulling back and ducking under limbs to squeeze out of their grasp. They turned around and looked at him. Natsuo had his hands on his hips and Youji had his arms crossed over his chest. He had pissed them off, apparently.

"No, he didn't tell me. We fought about it, but he never told me anything."

Natsuo smirked. "Like he ever does."

"We'll tell you," Youji offered. His arms were uncrossed and he looped one hand around Natsuo's arm. "We'll tell you everything. That's why we came."

Ritsuka blinked. He knew they were telling the truth. In all of his memory, the Zeroes were the only ones who had ever told him anything useful about the whole fighter/sacrifice thing. As much as he was loathe to admit it, he trusted them. They were childish, annoying, and emotionally lacking, but he trusted them to tell him the truth. They had lied to him less than Soubi, anyways.

"All right," Ritsuka said, walking up and placing his arms around each of their waists, leading them down the hall. He would play nice to get to the bottom of what was going on with Soubi. The Zeroes responded well to flirting, and he wasn't above using his charm to get information.

Natsuo and Youji looked entirely too pleased as they were led down the hall. Ritsuka couldn't see it, but they had clasped their hands together behind his back as they walked.

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"Eeeeeehh?" Ritsuka squeeked, his eyes gone wide. "He said that?"

Natsuo and Youji looked at each other. "He got up and walked away from us after he did. I think we hit something there."

Ritsuka looked at them. "He did say you guys had left when he got back."

Youji laughed. "We were afraid he was going to hit us if we stayed any longer."

"He got THAT mad over it? That's not like him."

"That's why we figured it was so important to tell you," Natsuo explained. "He's been worried about you, too. He said you had been acting weird."

Youji poked him. "He said you were being more cuddly!"

Ritsuka blushed but didn't look away. "So what? He's m-my… my boyfriend. I'm allowed to get cuddly aren't I?"

"And more!" Natsuo told him, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

Youji leaned into him, lowering his voice so that only the three of them could hear even though there was no one around. "Admit it, Loveless. You're horny. You want Soubi." He put extra emphasis on Loveless, dragging the word out over his tongue to get the point across.

Ritsuka's Look could have frozen hell, but it didn't faze Youji. He just smiled back at him sweetly.

"I. Am. Not."

Natsuo was the one to laugh. "You're in denial! How could you not be?"

Ritsuka glared at him now.

"He won't try anything until you let him know its okay. He is afraid of being rejected by you, so he won't even try," Youji told him. He said it as if he was just stating a fact, like saying the grass was green.

Ritsuka's face was red, but he couldn't tell if it was from anger or embarrassment. He didn't know what to say.

"Look, this is how it is," Natsuo began. "He says you're acting weird. You say he's acting weird. You are seventeen years old, and you want him. Deny it all you want to, but your frustration is so TANGIBLE that Soubi must be an idiot not to get it. He is too afraid to make a move on you, though, because Seimei rejected him again and again when they were fighter and sacrifice. And have you LOOKED in the mirror recently? Am I the only one who is thinking all this just might have something to do with each other?"

Youji looked entirely too pleased with his partner. "Nope, I get it."

They both turned and looked at Ritsuka. "Do you?" they asked in unison.

Ritsuka was shaking, but he wasn't sure why. Maybe it was that they had brought Seimei into this, but he had a feeling it was more about the weight of Natsuo's words. He flopped back onto the lawn and stared up at the gray fall sky. They had chosen to sit in the grass under a tree where they wouldn't be bothered. It was chilly, but they were all right without coats for a while. "Why are you telling me all this? Why do you guys care if Soubi and I are having problems?"

The Zeroes looked at each other, then at him. "Because we are genetically engineered for each other."

Ritsuka craned his neck up to look at them. He didn't get it at all.

"Do you know what its like to question why you're with someone?" Youji asked Ritsuka, but his eyes were on Natsuo.

Ritsuka sat up. "Of course. I ask myself all the time why I put up with Soubi."

"Yeah, well, we don't," Natsuo said. "We don't have to ask that, because we know why. We are genetically engineered to be together. It's not that we love each other, it's not that we even like each other. We just are together because we are meant to be."

"Do you know what that's like? Never falling in love? Never knowing if you are in love with your partner, never being sure if you would have still loved them if you had just met one day on the street?" Youji asked.

Ritsuka nodded. He was starting to understand.

"We want you and Soubi to succeed because you don't share the same name. Soubi was meant for Seimei, but instead he's with you. Soubi fell in love with you so much that it didn't matter to him that you were not the one who shared his name. We want you to succeed because, if you do, you prove that we are together of our own will and not of our genes."

Ritsuka looked at them. This must have been what Soubi meant when he had said that they had matured.

"Tell us, Ritsuka. You're the philosopher. Prove to us that we are together because we want to be, because we love each other, and not because we are supposed to be. If you and Soubi can do that, then our kind of love will be validated too."

Ritsuka nodded. He understood. He understood how hard it must be to live each day wondering why you are with someone. He understood that they needed to know that love was enough to keep two people together. After all, if it wasn't, then no one would ever stay together.

He knew that was true for him and Soubi just as much as anybody.

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Ritsuka had no sooner noticed that Soubi wasn't waiting for him outside the school when his cell phone lit up red. He had the long lariat tied around his messenger bag and the phone buzzed against his thigh. He fumbled to answer it, untying the straps and snapping it open. "Hello?"

"It's me." Soubi's voice came clear over the phone. It sent little chills down Ritsuka's spine. "You're out of school now?"

"Yeah, I just got out." Ritsuka told him, wondering where he was. Only one way to find out. "Where are you?"

"I went grocery shopping. If Yuiko still wanted to go on that picnic tomorrow after school, I need to buy more food."

Ritsuka wondered why Soubi couldn't have waited so that they could have just gone together. Then he realized how odd it would be to go to the grocery store with Soubi. It was so domestic, something that lovers would do. Besides, maybe Soubi had plans later or he was busy tomorrow for some reason…

"Ritsuka?"

"Yeah."

"Does Yuiko still want all of us to go out Sunday?"

Ritsuka nodded, then realized that Soubi couldn't see him. "Yeah, she was still talking about it today."

"All right then. I'll grab some more stuff to make and I'll be home in a few. Can you meet me there?"

He readily agreed. Ritsuka knew he shouldn't be so bent out of shape about Soubi not coming to pick him up. Soubi was busy, he had to remind himself, and it wasn't like this was the first time he couldn't come and pick him up. He wasn't the center of Soubi's world, after all.

At least, not completely.

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Soubi had given Ritsuka a key to his apartment long ago, so he had no problems letting himself inside.

He stood in the doorway, looking around the empty apartment. He could count the number of times he had been there without Soubi on one hand, and half of those times were with other people. The room seemed empty and stark without someone to live in it.

He hung his bag up on the back of one of the kitchen chairs after he kicked off his shoes and switched to slippers. Soubi had bought a pair just for him, a dusty purple color that matched his eyes. Soubi preferred to just wear his socks around the apartment, so the other pair sitting by the door was mostly used by guests.

Ritsuka came to stand in the middle of the floor and he looked around, wondering what to do with himself. From his vantage point, he could see every corner of Soubi's one room apartment-- Kitchen, Dining Room, Bedroom, and Bath. The only thing he couldn't see was the little closet where the toilet was and the closet for clothes directly across the room from it. He couldn't see how Soubi could have possibly put up with the Zeroes in such a tiny space the span of time that he did.

He decided on the bed and plopped down on it, stretching his limbs over the mattress and settling into the nice, Soubi-sized indentation in the middle. He shut his eyes and felt the blue silk duvet under his naked fingertips and smelled Soubi's scent on the linens. He smelled like lavender shampoo and the faint odor of tobacco. He likened the scent to lavender incense, and he would never admit that he had a few sticks of the stuff at home.

His mind kept drifting back to the conversation that he'd had with the Zeroes. Was Soubi really just afraid of rejection? Did he not want to get close to him because he was afraid he would just push him away? Could Soubi have really been suffering this entire time, never pushing him because of his own insecurities?

The Zeroes had told him that Soubi had to be so forceful in the beginning because he was desperate to establish a bond with him. He got that. He wasn't too upset about that. He was upset that Soubi hadn't tried to strengthen that bond after everything was said and done. Now he knew it was because he hadn't wanted to push his luck.

Well, then, Ritsuka would just have to push it for him.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard the door being opened. His heart was beating rapidly but he kept his eyes shut, trying to steady his breathing.

He listened to the rustling of plastic grocery bags being placed on the kitchen counter, and then nothing. He heard the padding of socked feet across the hardwood floor, then nothing. He was standing directly over the bed.

He slowed his breathing, moving his head up and down a little to cuddle deeper into the mattress, into this fake sleep. He felt weight settling on the right side of the bed and his lips twitched. His heart was beating out of his chest, but he concentrated on keeping his breathing even.

Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it…

There it was. Soft, warm lips pressed against his. He knew that he would make too tempting of a target for Soubi to possibly resist. He kept his face neutral while he was kissed, letting Soubi peck at first his bottom lip, then his top, then the side of his mouth. His insides melted with the attention, and he could feel the flush moving up his stomach, his chest, his face.

He couldn't help it. He began to kiss back. Soubi stopped what he had been doing, letting Ritsuka kiss him. It was obvious the boy wasn't asleep now, and he had tried to be gentle enough not to wake him. Ritsuka reached out with one hand and found Soubi's thigh. He had sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned over to kiss him. He reached up with his other hand and placed it on Soubi's back, keeping the other man from being able to pull away or retreat.

Soubi began to kiss him again, their lips meeting and parting in sweet little breaths of air. It was intoxicating, kissing like this. It felt as though energy moved between them, electricity from Soubi was transferred from his lips to fill Ritsuka's lungs before being pushed back through Soubi. It was like they completed a circuit when they kissed, but it was more than something supernatural between them. It was what the Zeroes and the others like them were searching for.

Soubi pulled back enough to break the kiss, and Ritsuka finally opened his eyes. He was surrounded by a veil of long, pale hair. Soubi's face hovered inches in front of his.

Ritsuka reached up and ran his fingers through those long strands, as much to get them out of his face as to feel the texture between his fingers and spread the scent of lavender around him. He craned his neck upwards those last couple of inches and pressed his lips against Soubi's again.

So he was being forward. He figured after years of playing coy, he could be blunt now.

He pulled back and looked into Soubi's eyes. He was constantly amazed at the iced blue he saw in them. They weren't cold and impersonal, though, as most pale eyes are. They were warm when they looked at him, more like the blue of a warm ocean beach than an Antarctic Iceland.

Soubi looked at him, a mix of wonderment and confusion clear on his face.

"Do you want to come down here with me?" Ritsuka asked in a low voice. It was the kind of voice you used when coaxing a frightened animal out of a corner.

Soubi only hesitated a moment before moving to lay next to him. Ritsuka moved over, giving him some more room. The faced each other on the bed, both lying on their sides with their hands folded in front of them. They didn't hold hands, but their knees did touch. Lying like that, they could see right into the other person's face. It would be hard to hide anything.

"Natsuo and Youji came to see me today," Ritsuka began conversationally.

"Oh?" Soubi sounded neither surprised or interested, but there was a note of unease apparent in his eyes.

"Yeah, they told me about yesterday."

"Oh."

Ritsuka frowned a bit. It wasn't exactly the response he had been looking for. He reached out then and slid his hands into Soubi's, scooting his body forward so that they were even closer. They were on eye level, inches apart, and there was nothing that Soubi could possibly hide from him. Not even Soubi was that good of a liar.

"Do you want to talk about it?" God, he felt like a woman saying that.

Soubi looked at him, and saw something that he didn't. His face changed, it softened. He smiled, and it took Ritsuka by surprise. "I don't think there's anything to talk about."

Ritsuka looked in Soubi's eyes, trying to figure out what the other man was thinking, what he was feeling. Then he saw it. He saw what Soubi had seen.

His own reflection stared back at him in the other man's pupils, and he looked terrified.