Chapter 6

Six months passed and a lot had happened. Olivia had a long discussion with Amanda. If they were going to try this thing called a relationship, she was going to be in charge at least in the beginning. She felt like it was a good time to get to know each other and be friends. With Olivia on desk duty they were all crunched. It became a bigger issue when Amanda missed her period. She was pregnant and Declan was the father. She was on the pill, but when Olivia asked if she missed it at all, Amanda became silent. She hid it as long as she could, but in May she had to come clean. She was two months behind her friend.

Fin was the next to be hit hard. His son's fiancé was attacked in a hate crime and almost lost his life. Nick was next. His marriage completely crumbled and he was crushed. The stress of sharing custody with his ex was horrible. The biggest blow came in June, Cragen was framed for murder and woke up dazed and confused with a dead hooker in his bed. Everything was a mess and on top of that they brought in a temporary Captain. Steven Harris turned the whole squad upside down.

Amanda grabbed a piece of paper and wrote on it. Then she folded it into a paper airplane and threw it so that it hit Olivia. Olivia laughed and looked at the wing, "Open me." She unfolded it, "I want more! I want you!" Olivia smiled. They had taken their time and become friends without benefits. Olivia told Amanda it was healthy for both of them, but Amanda was growing inpatient. Olivia wouldn't even let her spend the night, because she knew what would happen.

Olivia was due to have her baby next week and Amanda not until October. She smiled and wrote on the airplane and folded it back. She smiled as she threw it back. Amanda opened it quickly, "After the babies are born and our hormones are normal, we can talk. Until then, dream about me." It had a cute face with a wink and a heart.

The next week Amanda was with Olivia helping her give birth. They agreed to be each other's birth partners. Brian was undercover and hadn't spoken to Olivia since February. Declan, who was undercover for Vice, found out Amanda was pregnant. They agreed that he was in too deep to be a father, but she could always ask for him. "Ok Olivia, push one last time for me and you will have a beautiful baby boy." Olivia pushed, "Ahhhhhh!" Amanda held her hand and rubbed her back, "You're doing so good." They heard the baby crying while the doctor held him up. "Liv, look!" They cleaned him up and gave Olivia a few moments with him before doing the tests.

Olivia was breastfeeding Noah and watching Amanda sleep on the couch. She loved her, but wondered if they could make it work. She saw her turn, "Liv, are you ok?" Amanda walked over. "Yeah. Why don't you go home and get in the comfortable bed, you're pregnant too." Amanda shook her head, "I'm good. He's beautiful."

Olivia had been at home for a month and Amanda was on desk duty. She agreed to take 2 months off, which meant her and Amanda would basically switch places. The squad wasn't the same. Olivia worked from home and took care of Noah. She had to clear Cragen. Olivia heard a knock on the door and luckily Noah stayed asleep. She saw a young girl with brown hair, "Can I help you?" She smiled, "My name is Lucy Huston. Amanda Rollins sent me. She said you could interview me for a nanny position." Olivia thought she was going to deal with her later. Amanda had been hounding Olivia for weeks about hiring someone. "Sit and tell me about yourself."

Lucy smiled, "I was in college, but I'm taking a break. I need to figure some things out and I need a job while I do." Olivia liked her honesty, "Do you have any experience?" Lucy handed her references, "I've been babysitting since I was 14. I even did some while going to school." Olivia flipped through several families. "I actually wanted something with stable hours and one family."

Olivia looked up, "Well, I need to tell you hours won't be stable, because I'm a detective and…" she thought about Amanda, "And Amanda will be with me, we're family, so it's going to be two babies." Lucy smiled, "She told me and I don't have a problem with the hours or two babies." Olivia laughed to herself.

Olivia thought she was too young, but Lucy agreed on a trial run, "How about you come here everyday and help me, so I can get some work done. When I'm ready to go back, we can see where we are." Lucy liked that idea. "What about Amanda? Does she live here too?" Olivia smiled, "No, we actually need to talk when she gets home." Olivia had an idea, "Can you do me a favor?" Lucy smiled, "Sure!"

Olivia grabbed the key that Amanda gave her so long ago. She had Lucy watch Noah. She sat in Amanda's apartment on that same pull out couch and waited. She heard the key turn and saw shock in Amanda's face, "Liv, what are you doing here? Are you ok? Where is Noah?" Olivia walked over, turned her around, and spanked her ass hard, "Owww Liv!"

Before Amanda could whine anymore she turned her back around to face her, "Do you think you run me?" Amanda shook her head. "So, you found a nanny even though I explained I wasn't ready." Amanda frowned, "She was good and I want our babies to be together." Olivia smirked, "Our babies or us?" Amanda smiled. "Amanda Rollins don't smile at me."

Olivia looked at her, "Well, I guess it's a good thing that I signed up for a four bedroom upstairs. We need a bigger place and one that I have zero memories of Brian." Amanda had a weird look on her face and Olivia didn't understand, "I thought you would be happy." Amanda looked down, "Liv, my water broke."

Olivia walked over to tell Lucy the news. Lucy stayed with Noah, while she rushed Amanda to the hospital. Amanda was a baby herself. She was freaking out. "It's too early! I can't have it. I'm not ready!" Amanda cried so bad that Olivia climbed behind her back and held her. The doctor gave her encouragement, "It's a little early, but everything is ok." Amanda pushed and Olivia kept her calm. "Ok Amanda let's find out what you're having. One more push."

Amanda pushed and delivered a baby girl. The doctor held her up while Amanda cried. "Wait, where is she going?" The doctor explained to the NICU just for precaution since she was early. A few hours later she was holding her baby girl. Olivia sat with her, "You did it! She's beautiful. What's her name?" Amanda smiled, "Jesse Quinn Rollins." Thank goodness for Lucy. Amanda moved into Olivia's guest room and they both put their names on the 4 bedroom.

Amanda saw Olivia working, "Liv, I can't believe I had her early and we are home together." Olivia smiled, "I can't believe we had babies together. I can't believe we ended up together." Amanda frowned, "Hey!" Olivia kissed her cheek, "I didn't mean it like that." Amanda looked at the files, "Still can't find the connection to free Cragen?" Olivia shook her head, "He didn't do it. Amanda, look at this, it doesn't make sense." Amanda read a page from the file and saw a name she recognized, Ganzel.

She didn't tell Liv, but she saw Brian at the pizza place she grabbed lunch from. He didn't see her and she thought it was a good thing. She remembered hearing him yell for Ganzel. Amanda sighed, "Liv, don't get mad at me." Olivia narrowed her eyes at her, "What did you do?" Amanda explained the pizza place, "See look at the name." Olivia looked. She knew Brian was undercover, "Well this isn't a coincidence. Damn you Brian." Olivia knew that Brian knew that Cragen was in trouble. She called Fin. "Got it Liv, Nick and I are on it."

Fin and Nick paid Mark Ganzel a visit and Brian answered the door. They pretended to be asking about some illegal activities and his name came up. Nick stared at him. They left and immediately called Olivia to explain. Olivia shook her head in distress, "What the hell happened to him. How could he be in on the setup?" Nick shook his head, "I don't know, but he's about to be picked up for a traffic violation." Nick hit his lights as he saw Brian pull out into traffic with no notice.

Nick took pleasure pulling him out of the car and when Brian resisted that was all he needed. They had him in the box and the questions began, but not without Olivia and Amanda watching from the outside. Captain Harris saw what was going on, "I want Cragen cleared like you. He's a good man. What's his deal?"

Olivia didn't lie, she even showed him what she knew. Brian raised his hands in frustration, "I know you hate me, but I'm undercover. Cragen got set up real good, but I can't blow my cover." Fin shook his head, "This is Cragen, you could have given us a heads up." Brian hung his head, he should have. This was his Captain at one time. "Look…"

The door swung open, "I'm Mr. Querns, his lawyer and this questioning is over." Brian reacted not to look suspicious, "It's about time." Brian and Querns left together, but not before making eye contact with Olivia. Over the next two weeks a lot happened, that look must have changed Brian. He started recording conversations and found dirt on the lawyer Querns, which prompted him to help. They had proof and recordings that Cragen was set up. The hooker was paid to drug Cragen, Ganzel had someone else murder the hooker, and put her in his bed. Cragen was off the hook, but he would have to undergo counseling to come back.

Brian did it all, but unfortunately Ganzel became suspicious of him after being picked up and helping them convict Ganzel, he was found dead in an alley. Amanda sat beside a silent Olivia who was holding Noah. Olivia was still in her dress from the police funeral. "Liv, are you ok?" Amanda took Noah and handed him to Lucy, "Noah has his eyes. He never even met his son Amanda." Amanda sighed, "Liv, that's not your fault. Brian left this for you." Amanda passed her a letter. Olivia looked at the front, "Liv and Noah." Olivia passed it back, "Will you read it?" Amanda opened it.

Liv,

I'm so sorry I wasn't the man you needed. I guess I didn't think I was husband and father material. It wasn't you or Noah, it's all me. It's all my baggage and junk. Please forgive me. This case went wrong, very wrong. I don't trust that I'm safe. I have left everything to you. Take care of my baby boy. Oh and Liv, take care of Amanda too. I wasn't blind, I know you and I know you love her.

All my love,

Brian

Olivia had tears falling. Amanda opened a second letter.

Noah,

I'm so sorry I didn't get the chance to meet you and be your dad. You have a terrific mommy and I know she has a special circle of family that will help you grow and protect you. Be great son and I will be you, Amanda's, and your mommy's guardian angel. I love you Noah Brian Benson.

Love,

Daddy

Olivia gasped, "How did he know?" Amanda smiled, "He called me and asked if we were happy together. I told him you were at the doctor and he came by. He met Noah and held him. We talked and I told him you never gave up on him and Noah had his name. Please don't be upset with me." Amanda went to her room and came back with a picture in a frame. "Here." Olivia smiled as she saw Brian holding his son. She looked and kissed Amanda hard. "I love you Amanda!"

Since Amanda had her baby early and they had Lucy, by October they were both back in the squad and on duty. Captain Harris was there to greet them, "Welcome back Sergeant and Detective." Cragen was cleared of charges, but he had to pass all mental health hoops before returning. Fin and Nick hugged them.

Fin waited for Harris to walk away. He was ok, but he wasn't Cragen. "Wait until you hear about the last case you missed." Nick dropped the book "Twenty Five Acts" in front of her. "Jocelyn Paley, that successful BDSM writer was raped. It was a tough case, but Barba was amazing." Liv rolled her eyes, Alex moved up and he was the replacement. He was cocky and Harris adored him. "Liv, he pulled out a belt in court and demanded the rapist choke him right there."

Amanda could hear them, but she opened the book and some of the things she saw blew her mind. She liked it rough sometimes, but this was a little out of her wheelhouse. She remembered when she first met Olivia and she would drop hints to spank her. She even remembered the time she had her on her knees and spanked her for moving.

Things were different now though. They moved in together, but they hadn't had sex in months since before finding out they were pregnant. Olivia saw Amanda deep in thought and she knew, "Earth to Amanda." Amanda looked up with those blue eyes that Olivia loved so much. "Liv, is this what you want?" Olivia sighed, "Can we discuss it at home after we put the babies to bed?" Amanda nodded, "Yeah."

After dinner was done, the kids were asleep, and Lucy was gone, Amanda sat on the bed and waited. She looked at the bed and realized they slept in it, but hadn't done anything more than give each other a goodnight kiss. Olivia came out of the bathroom, "Are you ready to talk?" Amanda nodded. Olivia sat down, "I've always liked being the dominant one, when I've been with women and I've always liked the guy to be a little dominant."

Amanda smiled and could understand, "I get it. I like it rough sometimes." Olivia smiled, "You were so cocky and that mouth and that attitude made me feel like you could be my type. I know I threatened the belt, but I really don't get off on that, not like that book you were glued to. I really just wanted your reaction." Amanda looked sad. "Amanda, are you disappointed?" Amanda shook her head. "I also knew you were struggling with something when we met and when you told be about the rape…" Amanda stood up pacing.

Olivia could see by her body language she was frustrated, "Amanda, I never treated you differently. You pushed me away for a minute, so I had sex with you." Amanda rolled her eyes, "Great I'm a pity fuck." Olivia went to her and held her, "No you weren't. I never thought that once." Amanda threw her hands up, "Liv, we haven't had sex in months. Fuck Liv, I haven't even made you cum. Are we going to be together like married or just friends raising kids? Are you always going to be in charge? What am I the fucking kid in this…"

Olivia grabbed her face and kissed her softly on the lips, "Stop and slow down." Amanda took a deep breath. "Amanda, when I found out I was pregnant, I didn't know how you would feel. I knew you were dealing with the fallout at work, so I wanted us to have some time. Then you turned up pregnant." Amanda smiled a small smile. "You are a kid and I feel like it's my responsibility to be in charge a little more. I wanted us to get to know each other and be friends. I wanted us to have arguments and not have anything based on sex, because the sex we had before wasn't honest. It was sneaky and I was a cheater. I didn't want what we were building to have that stain on it."

Amanda looked up confused, "Stain?" Olivia nodded, "Yeah, you know how sometimes you can spill ketchup on your shirt and if you get it off quick enough with a little water, once you wash it it's gone, doesn't leave a stain." Amanda nodded, "But sometimes Amanda if you leave the stain too long without cleaning it, it's there forever. You might as well toss that shirt." Amanda blinked understanding, "You didn't want our relationship to be a stain, you wanted it forever." Olivia smiled, "I want you forever, not just a stain."

Olivia kissed her again softly. She pushed her tongue in and gently pushed her on the bed. She licked her upper lip and sucked on her bottom lip, before starting to push her hand down her sleep pants. Amanda stopped her hand and flipped Olivia over so she was on her back, "Nope, not this time. You have me 2 to nothing. Let's see if I am your forever." Amanda pushed her shirt up and saw her full tan breast with darker nipples. She licked around her left nipple and then sucked on it roughly. She listened to Olivia moan and watched her body wiggle and fight beneath her. "Mmmm Amanda!" Amanda smiled, "I'm not really a kid."

Then she attacked her right nipple in the same way before moving her tongue down her body. She licked a complete circle around her belly button and then placed a soft kiss between her stomach and her V. "Fuck!" Olivia sat up on her elbows, "Sensitive?" Amanda smiled and pushed her legs apart. Olivia was completely bare and baby soft. She split her lips with her tongue and dipped it straight into her wet core. "Fuck!" Amanda slapped her ass, "Watch your mouth!"

Olivia liked this side of her a lot." She licked and sucked hard until Olivia came hard. Olivia was shaking and screamed her name. All of her juices flowed into Amanda's mouth, "You taste really good, but I'm not done yet." Amanda licked upwards until she reached her swollen clit. She licked and sucked while she inserted one finger, causing Olivia to raise up.

Amanda moved up to see her face, "I love you." Amanda kissed her to cover her scream as she inserted the second, "Ahhh Mmmm!" Amanda pushed in and pulled out harder and faster. She felt her lower half clamp down and watched her body shake. "Ahhh ahhh Amanda!" Amanda waited for Olivia's body to release her fingers from the death grip, then she pulled them out, and licked them clean. Olivia shook her head, "You need a spanking." Amanda laughed and rolled on her back, "Yes! That's a good thing. So I'm not a stain?" Olivia kissed her, "You are definitely not a stain."