A/N: Delayed yet again by the perils of real life... I'm sorry! I hope you enjoy this chapter... :)
To my most dear and special friend, She'sAShipper: thank you for your help with the last few chapters, for your ideas and your talent. I'm so completely over the moon excited for you and that wonderful fiance of yours! The road may have been broken, but your love for each other is more than strong enough to survive everything. :) Giant hugs, kiddo...
Chapter 90:
Mac once again got their breakfast and packed their things before they checked out. They were headed back to Boston that day to walk the three mile Freedom trail. They were set to leave after spending the morning at the Wharf.
They walked through the wharf holding hands looking at the seafaring artifacts and such on display. On they way back to the museum that Mac insisted on returning to, Harm requested they side track to the House of Seven Gables. The gardens were lovely there and they asked a young man to take their picture in the midst of them.
Once they finished there, they returned to the museum where they once again sat through the reenactment before being led down into the dungeon. This time, Mac made it through. She held onto Harm's hand and made mention of the atrocities suffered inside those walls, but she came out the other side on her own two feet. "See, I told you I'd make it" she smiled, as they purchased a few postcard books as souvenirs.
"Yes, you did" he said with a smile, "and you were right. You ready to head out for Boston?"
"Let's go" Mac replied. "You up for the three mile hike?"
"You bet" he said. "Got my good shoes on, I'm raring to go."
Mac and Harm got into their rental and turned on the radio as they drove the hour down to Boston. "We have to find Boston Common" Mac said.
"Mac, do you have any idea how horrible it is to drive around Boston?" he asked. "Even with a map it's a nightmare."
"You were the one who requested we stop here, remember?" Mac reminded him. "I suggested we bypass it and you said, 'But honey, we can't not go see the USS Constitution.' But I said, 'Navigating that city is a nightmare.' And you said, 'You won't have to navigate it.' Is any of this ringing a bell?"
He smiled and shook his head. "Point taken. We can find the Common if you'd like to."
"If you want to go on the trail the brochure says we have to find the Common to get our passes" Mac replied.
"Ah, okay" he said. "I guess we're finding the Common!"
Two hours later, Harm finally found a parking lot in the vicinity of the Boston Common.
"Can you believe how much they charge just to park here?" he asked as they exited their vehicle. "Forty bucks to park ten blocks away!"
"And it's hotter than the blazes out here" Mac sighed, removing her over shirt and tying it about her waist.
They made their way to the Common and located the ticket booth. Together, they approached the window and Harm asked the girl inside for two tickets to the trail. Once the purchase was complete, they walked away and Harm complained that the ticket for the attraction was less than what it cost to park their car. Mac simply laughed and let him gripe.
They strolled the Freedom Trail, observing the statues erected in honor of the founders of the country they both defended. When they reached the home of Paul Revere, Mac marveled at the height of the doorway. It was less than 6' high, but as it was on a down step it looked deceiving. As Harm stepped through, he smacked his forehead on the doorframe.
"Oh, for the love of..." muttered Harm, hand on his head.
"Are you all right?" Mac asked moving into worried wife mode. "Step back and sit down on the bench. Let me see."
He did as she asked, mumbling to himself all the way. "They should put a warning sign on that thing!"
Mac started to laugh just then as she saw the sign above the door that read, "Watch you head."
"What's so funny?" he asked, still seeing stars.
Mac couldn't answer; she was laughing so hard tears ran down her cheeks.
Soon, he realized what it was that had her in stitches. "Oh, ha ha, very funny. They should make it low enough for people to see before they whack the living snot out of themselves on that stupid doorframe!"
Mac bit her lip at his tone, realizing her mirth was upsetting him. "I'm sorry" she smiled. "You just look so cute mumbling all the way over here about the sign that was already there. Are you okay?"
"Yeah" he said, still clearly disgruntled. "I'm gonna have a bump."
"Do you want to skip this one and get some ice?" Mac asked, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. "Poor baby."
"No, I'll be okay, I think" he said, slowly rising from the bench. "I'll be sure to duck from now on."
"Stand up straight a minute" Mac instructed.
He did as she asked. "Okay?"
"Do you feel dizzy?" she asked. Then stepped back and held up two fingers, "How many?"
"Two" he replied, "and no, I'm not dizzy."
"Good, you'll live" Mac pronounced. "Ready to go see what life as a silversmith was like?"
He nodded. "Let's get back to having fun."
They toured the home and Harm marveled at how it was possible to raise a family with so little. Mac smiled at they continued on their way until the reached her, "Old Ironsides." The line was at least an hour long.
"Oh, look at the line" he said. "No problem though; we're not in any hurry, and we've got to see this."
"You're lucky I love you, sailor" Mac smiled. "I want to get some water bottles. Hold our space."
"Okay" he said. Mac returned a few moments later with two bottles of water, and handed him one. "Thanks babe. You know, I'd love to bring Ainsley out here when she's a bit older. She'll love it, I'll bet anything."
"She's going to be a daddy's girl, big time" Mac replied. "You know I'm feeling a little guilty for not taking Mattie."
"How come?" he asked, taking a big drink of his water.
"I don't know" Mac replied. "I guess I feel like we ignore her sometimes. And I think sometimes she thinks she doesn't fit."
He nodded. "I know she feels like that sometimes, but part of that comes naturally with being in her position: adopted teenager with newlywed parents who have a baby of their own. She knows she fits, but you're right, sometimes she doesn't feel like she does."
The line moved and Harm and Mac continued to talk about things at home. When they were nearing the end of the line Mac asked, "How's the head?"
"Hurts a little" he said, "but I'll live."
"I'm glad..." Mac began put was interrupted by a Marine Corporal. "Any persons with military identification step to the right of the line."
Harm looked at Mac. "Let's go, maybe we'll get in ahead of the civilians."
Indeed they did. "May I see your ID, sir."
"Here you go, Corporal" said Harm, showing him his card.
The Marine snapped to attention. They didn't get many Senior Officers on active duty, "Sir."
"As you were, corporal" said Harm. "Do you need to see my wife's ID?"
Mac had all ready removed her ID from her billfold and showed it to the Corporal. Again he snapped to, "Ma'am!"
Mac smiled. "At ease."
"Any family with you today, sir, ma'am?" asked the Corporal.
"No" said Harm. "It's just the two of us this time."
"Step to the end of that shorter line" the Corporal invited. "You'll be in the next group."
"Thank you, Corporal" said Harm, reaching out to take Mac's hand and walk to the indicated line.
"Sir!" the Corporal called.
Harm turned around. "Yes, corporal?"
"She's got a low clearance. You'll need to slouch, sir" the Corporal warned.
"Thank you for the warning" said Harm, looking at Mac with a bit of a smile.
Harm did indeed spend the entire tour bent over. Still, he enjoyed seeing the older guns and cannons on board. They saw the Captain's quarters; they were smaller than Bud's first office. "I can't wait for that" she whispered.
"For what?" he whispered in reply.
"To throw you the biggest promotion party in the world when you make Captain" Mac replied.
He smiled. "Someday."
"Maybe sooner than you think" she smiled. "You ready to go or down you want to look around some more?"
"Let's go" he said.
Mac followed Harm up the ladder, "Be careful stepping off the gangplank" Mac reminded him.
"Oh, don't worry" he said. "Learned my lesson on the Lex."
Once they had climbed topside and he successfully stepped off the plank he stood up to his full height. "Feels good to stand upright again huh? You'd never have survived 200 years ago."
"Must be why I was born when I was" he joked, "and not 156 years earlier."
"And all this time I thought you were born just to marry me and father the most beautiful baby girl in the world" Mac smiled.
"Well, I was" he said in a cute, sexy voice. "But it's nice to also be able to stand up straight when I walk through our doorways."
"Let's go. We have ten more stops to make before dinner, and this Marine is getting hungry."
"So is this sailor" he said, their breakfast having long since worn off.
Mac took his hand in hers. "Lead the way."
They turned their steps towards the original Cheers restaurant, made famous by the hit comedy series. The place was crowded and there was a 30 minute wait for a table for two inside. "Do you want to wait?" Mac asked. She was bouncing with excitement over the idea of eating here, but if he didn't want to stand up in the sun that long they could go to one of the replicas.
"Sure" he said. "You've looked forward to this for weeks; we can wait."
Mac smiled and reached up to give him a kiss on the lips. "Thank you."
From behind them they heard a voice. "Remember when we were like that Joe?"
"Sure do" the older man replied as Mac turned to smile at them.
"Seems to me like you still are" she said, seeing the couple in their sixties at least holding hands.
"Joe Fletcher" the man introduced himself. "This is Mary."
"Sarah Mackenzie Rabb" she smiled. "This is my husband Harm."
Harm extended a hand to the older gentleman. "Where are you folks from?" he asked.
"Originally we're from South Carolina" Mary replied. "We live in Concord now with our daughter. She just had a baby."
"Are you honeymooning?" Joe asked.
"No" answered Harm, "just vacationing for a week."
"Ah...that's so nice. How long have you been married?" Mary asked.
"Seven months" said Harm with a smile. "How about you folks?"
"Forty one years" Joe answered. "We've got six children. Do you have any young ones? I don't see any."
"They wouldn't Joe" Mary sighed. "They just married."
"Um, actually" began Harm, "we have two daughters at home."
"Oh" Mary smiled. "How old are they?"
"Mattie is our teenager" Mac replied. "She's sixteen and Ainsley, our baby girl is ten months."
"I've got some pictures" said Harm as he reached for his wallet, "if you're interested."
"Of course we are" Mary replied. "Joe show them Kelly."
Harm proudly showed off his pictures of Ainsley and Mattie while Mac fawned over the infant hospital photograph of baby Kelly, Mary's oldest daughter's baby girl. "I remember Ainsley that little" she sighed, not realizing she said it out loud.
Harm put his arm around her, knowing the sight of any newborn, be it in real life or in a photo, made Mac sad.
"Feeling that urge already" Joe smiled. "She likes the young un, eh Son?" he asked Harm.
"Yeah, she does" answered Harm, momentarily re-thinking his stance on the whole birth control issue.
"Well you have all this week to start working on another little one" Mary smiled. "Our first four are only one year apart from one another."
"I don't think that'll be on this trip" Mac smiled sadly. "We want to try to enjoy Ainsley a bit."
She looked sharply up at Harm. He nodded and smiled, knowing beyond doubt the message his wife was sending him.
They couples chatted idly for a few more moments, the conversation passing the time quickly until "Cheers would like to welcome, Rabb party of two."
"That's us" said Harm, extending his hand to the couple one last time. "Pleasure talking with you."
They shook hands and were led to their table by a smiling hostess. After they gave their drink orders, Mac a tonic water and Harm a Sam Adams, she read the menu in silence.
He closed his menu and put it on the table. "You're upset, aren't you?" he asked Mac.
"What gave you that idea?" Mac asked. "I'm reading the menu."
"I know you, baby" he said. "You're not quiet just because you're reading the menu. Can we talk about it later on?"
"There's not much we have to talk about" Mac sighed. "You've made a decision and I have to respect that."
"I don't want you being upset about that for the rest of our trip" he said gently. "If you will be, I'd like to talk about it. If not, we'll table it until we get home."
"Harm, I'm not upset" Mac sighed. "Really, we are just on opposite sides. Just like before."
"Before?" he questioned.
"When I first got my diagnosis, you were ready to jump right in and I wasn't" Mac reminded him. "Now I'm ready and you're not. The difference is we're married now."
"Ah, yeah" he said, thinking back on the months following her diagnosis...
flashback
He was home that night, working on a case that wouldn't let him rest. Lost in his frustration, he was about to take a 15 minute shower break when he heard a knock at the door. With a sigh, he looked through the peephole, unlocked the deadbolt and greeted his visitor.
"Hi" he said as Mac stood before him.
"H," Mac echoed. "Can I...?"
"Yeah, sure" he said, opening the door and welcoming her inside. "What brings you to my neck of the woods at this hour?"
"I wanted to um, talk to you" she replied fidgeting with her hands.
"Okay" he said. "Let's have a seat. You thirsty?"
Mac smiled. "Some water would be nice."
"Sure" he said, going to the fridge and returning with two bottles of water. He handed her one, and sat on the chair next to the couch before opening his and taking a drink. "So, what'd you want to talk about?"
"This isn't easy for m," she began and played with the top of her water.
He grew instantly concerned. "Is it bad? Is everything okay?"
"I think so" Mac replied. "Um, do you remember when I had the accident on Christmas Eve?"
"I'll never forget it" he answered softly.
"I don't really remember the accident but...I was sort of out of it for while and I remembered this conversation I had with a Navy doctor. Harm...I'm not sure how to say this...after I've pushed you away for so long" she sighed and rose from the sofa. "I shouldn't have come."
"No, Mac, don't" he said gently. "Please, whatever it is, you felt you needed to talk about it. I'm here, I'll listen."
Mac took a deep breath. The more she tried to introduce her decision, the harder it became. "I'm ready" she declared.
He was silent for a moment as her words took their time registering in his mind. "Ready?" he asked. "As in...'ready' ready?"
Mac nodded. "I'm ready to tr," she replied. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to fail, but I'm ready to try."
He leaned back in his chair. "Let's make sure we're talking about the same thing here" he said. "By 'try', you mean...try to have a baby, right?" He knew there were only two things Mac would come to him and say she was ready to try: having a relationship, or having a baby.
Mac nodded. "The five years are up" she reminded him.
"I know" he replied with a little grin. Though she didn't know it, he'd been keeping track since they first made their "deal" the day baby AJ was born, and it broke his heart when the time was up and nothing had come of it. "So, uh..."
"If you still want to try those options, I'm game" Mac replied.
He smiled just a little. "I do still want to try them" he said. "Mac, I...wow, this is hard..."
"It can't be any harder than this" Mac smiled. "Just spit it out."
He took a deep breath. "If we're gonna do this, you know, try to have a baby together, we should talk about having a relationship."
"Relationship like a mommy and daddy relationship?" Mac asked. "Like a Bud and Harriet type thing?" She clarified.
"Well, hopefully we'll eventually have that" he said. "But before then, I...Mac, I've said this before - I'm tired of looking in on your life; I wanna be a part of it. I don't want this to only be about conceiving a child; I want more than that."
Mac smiled a bit and reached out to touch his cheek. "So do I."
He put his hand on her cheek in kind. "I love you, Mac. Are you really sure you're ready for all this?"
She nodded, "I'm ready to try" she replied. "All of it. I'm just not ready to fail. Promise me we won't?" she requested holding his gaze with hers.
"I can't promise you that we'll be able to have a baby" he said. "But I've loved you for so many years; I can promise you that you and I, we won't fail." He moved towards her slowly, hoping for a kiss.
Mac obliged him, leaning in to meet him and letting him claim her lips. When the soft sweet kiss ended she met his eyes and whispered "Harm, I love you too."
He gave her another soft kiss. "So, uh, how do you, um...wanna go about things?"
"Well, there's this doctor..."
"You think we should go right to the medical stuff?" he asked.
"I think we should get a professional opinon," she replied. "Then we'll see."
"Okay" he said. "You know, they'll, uh...they'll probably want to know how long we've been trying. Do you think we should...you know...try at all, or wait and see what they say?"
"Let's just go with the flow of things" Mac replied. "I don't have much time and I don't want to waste what we do have. I want this too much. I want this too much with you."
He thought his heart would burst at those words. He gave her yet another kiss, and pulled back with a smile. "How soon do you wanna do this?"
"Does tomorrow work for you?" she asked.
He looked at her, blankly at first, and then a smile crept over his face. "You already have an appointment, don't you?"
Mac nodded, "I'm sorry. I just did it on a whim and...Please, come with me?"
"Of course I'll go with you" he said. "From here on out, we're in it together."
End flashback
"We're in this together" Mac sighed. "That's what you said. Only now it seems we're apart again."
He looked down at his closed menu. "I'm sorry, Mac. I guess...I dunno, I guess this kind of thing can happen to couples in our situation. They say infertility has ups and downs, I suppose this is part of what they mean by that."
Mac nodded. "I suppose it is."
The tension was broken for a while when the waitress appeared to take their orders and Trish called to tell Harm and Mac about Ainsley's busy day out with her grandparents. Once they finished their meal they walked back to the car and drove to the hotel they'd reserved in Lexington. It was a nice place, with large spacious rooms and a nice king size bed. Once Harm and Mac arrived inside and unpacked just for the one night, they both dropped on the bed, a bit hot, a bit sore, and a lot tired.
"Oh, what a day" said Harm.
"You said that right" Mac sighed. "Boston has to be one of the most humid cities in the country."
"I dare say it is" he sighed, kicking his shoes off and curling up with a pillow.
"What do you want to do tonight?" Mac asked. "After you shower because you don't smell too pleasant there, sailor."
He laughed. "You can say it, I stink."
"Yes you do, and I'm sure I do too" Mac sighed. "I haven't felt this gross since I was pregnant."
"What do you mean?" he asked. "You were beautiful when you were pregnant."
"When you're pregnant any temperature feels ten degrees hotter" Mac sighed. "Some of those 100 degree days...ugh" she sighed. "Go shower, unless you want me to first."
"You can go ahead" he said, knowing she was more uncomfortable than he was.
"Thanks, honey" Mac smiled and headed off to take her shower. Twenty minutes later she came out to the bathroom dressed in one of Harm's old tee shirts. She smiled when she gazed upon the bed and found Harm had fallen asleep in the very place he'd been laying when she went to take her shower. She went over to the bed and slid in next to him. "Harm, wake up" she said gently.
"Huh?" he asked, awakening with a little start.
"Honey, wake up and go take your shower" Mac told him, poking him a bit.
"Can I just wait till morning?" he whined. "I'm comfy."
"If you're a good sailor and go take a shower" Mac cooed like she was dealing with Ainsley or little AJ, "I'll give you a massage."
"Okay" he mumbled, moving slowly from the bed. "I won't be long."
True to his word, Harm took only 8 minutes in the shower. He emerged from the steamy bathroom dressed in his boxers and sleep shorts, the pair Mattie have given him for Father's Day. He went straight over to the bed and climbed in, totally exhausted from the day.
"You still interested in that massage?" she asked. "It comes with a catch though."
"I don't think I have the strength for any catches tonight, babe" he said. "But tell me what it is."
"Once I finish you, I may need one of those foot massages you are so good at" she smiled. "All that walking."
"Oh, I can probably handle that" he sighed, his eyes already falling shut.
Mac knew there was probably no way he'd do it, he'd be asleep before she even finished his back, but the thought was still nice. "Anywhere special?"
"Usual" he muttered, fighting to stay awake.
Mac sighed and found to spot that gave him trouble and started to rub the tissues there, "Honey?"
"Hmm?" he answered, nearly asleep.
"I think I owe you an apology" Mac sighed, gently manipulating the soft skin on his broad back.
"Why?" he asked weakly.
"Because I've been trying to influence you with my moodiness and that's just not fair" Mac replied. "We're in this marriage together and I have to at least respect your opinion enough not to try to influence you. I'm so sorry, sweetie."
"S'okay" he replied. "Love you anyway."
"So I have been doing that, haven't I?" Mac asked.
"Mm-hmm" he said.
"I didn't want to, it's just...this really isn't making it into your head is it?" Mac asked, seeing how exhausted he was. "You're really tired aren't you?"
His reply was silent this time, for he had drifted off to sleep.
Mac continued for a moment longer to rub his back before leaning over and kissing his shoulder, "I love you, Harm. Sweet dreams."
A/N: Chapter 91 coming within a week, hopefully! We're almost finished...or are we...? ;)