Ooh, angst pudding!
Neo: I prefer chocolate myself.
Hee hee!
Neo: KOS-MOS rox doesn't own anything in this, so stop asking me!
He's cranky today T.T
The lyrics dialogue note from the last chap is applied to this one as well.
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Previously in Die Kraft der Liebe…
Jr. gasped hoarsely, breaking down into hysterical crying. "No, Albedo, no! No!" he bawled, throwing himself on top of his lost twin.
"Don't leave me here alone!" Jr. cried. "I'm going to save you, Albedo! I swear it!"
Jr. wiped the tears away and plunged his hand into Albedo's chest and fell limp against his body, diving into his subconscious…
And now, chapter 14.
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Xenosaga Episode II: Die Kraft der Liebe
Chapter 14: Lifeblood
When Jr.'s head finally stopped spinning, he found himself in a great white room that seemed to stretch for miles and miles in each direction.
This…this is Albedo's conscience? Jr. wondered. Looking around wildly, he began to run. He closed his eyes and ran as fast as his twelve-year-old legs could carry him.
After a few moments of nonstop sniffling and sprinting, he finally saw him. A young Albedo sat crossed-legged, his back facing Jr., clad in a white short-sleeved shirt and white pants, making it hard to distinguish him from the surroundings. The redhead grunted and took a flying leap, landing with a thud next to his brother. "Albedo…" Jr. muttered triumphantly.
At first, nothing seemed different about Albedo. But the more Jr. looked at him, the more changed. His face was pale…or at least paler than it was before. His amethyst eyes were dark, cold, and hard. Blood stained the front of his shirt and pants. Jr.'s eyes dropped to his brother's wrist, he noticed self-inflicted scars and scabs, and enclosed his right hand was a bloody knife. Jr. almost screamed in fright when he saw the crimson liquid dripping from the blade.
"You came," he said in a dark, yet sane, voice.
"A-Albedo?" Jr. asked.
"Why did you leave me?" he asked coldly, turning away. "Now I'm trapped in this place forever."
"You're not trapped," Jr. told him. "I've come to take you back."
Albedo shook his head, glaring at Jr. "This cold and dark tormented hell is all I'll ever know, so when you get to heaven may the devil be your judge."
"What are you talking about?" Jr. pleaded in a small voice. "Please, come back with me! Besides, this place isn't very cold…or dark."
"No. You and Nigredo don't care about me anymore." Tears began running down Albedo's cheeks. "That's why you were going to die and leave me alone. I know it. I could tell you didn't care anymore when you hit me."
"I never hi- Oh…"
"You idiot!" His fist collided with his brother's cheek. "Don't you ever pull anything like that again! If you die, you can't come back to life!"
"See?" Albedo remarked calmly. "That's why it's better here. I can be away from all the people who hate me."
Jr. looked at him, about to cry again. "But, the more I'm here…the more I realize that I'm alone…" Albedo said, looking at the floor again. "There's nobody to catch me as I fall…say that they're here, and that it's all over now…"
Tears began to run down Jr.'s cheeks despite his best efforts to hold them back. "Speaking to the blank atmosphere, no one's here and I fall into myself," Albedo continued, his body beginning to shake violently. "This truth drives me into madness, but I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away…"
If I will it all away…Albedo's words echoed in Jr.'s mind. The redhead gasped as Albedo cried out and lifted the knife in his right hand, making a fresh cut in his left wrist, gasping in pleasure and liberation as the blade broke his skin. As he flexed his left hand, bright red blood seeped from the cut. Albedo set down the knife and let out a sigh of relief.
"Wh-what did you do that for?" Jr. asked squeakily, feeling like he was going to pass out.
"The sweet pain, Rubedo…it's the only thing I can feel anymore…" Albedo answered, shuddering with delight as the claret liquid ran off of his arm, staining the pristine white floor.
"Touch it," Albedo commanded, holding out his bloody wrist to Jr. "It won't hurt me. I'm numb to everything now."
Jr. hesitated for a moment, staring at the cut. But when Albedo prodded him some more and moved his arm closer, Jr. reluctantly reached out and brushed his fingertips over it, feeling the slippery and warm liquid coated them. Bringing his hand closer to his face, he could see his own reflection…the blood was red, so red…
"Now, you do it too." Albedo held the knife out to Jr.
"No way!" Jr. exclaimed, scooting away from Albedo. "I'm not slitting my wrist!"
"If you don't…" Albedo said, twirling the knife through his fingers so that it pointed back at his body. "I'll stab myself in the heart. Just like you did...you stabbed me right in the chest."
Jr. imagined Albedo impaling himself on the knife, and his face contorted in pain as he coughed up blood…
"Gimme that!" Jr. snatched the knife from Albedo, wide-eyed, and held it in his right hand. He looked it for a few seconds, the image of Albedo slitting his wrist replaying over and over in his mind.
He hesitantly placed the tip on his left wrist, studying the menacing steel blade. Biting his lip and whimpering, he pressed down and dragged it, feeling the white-hot pain as it broke the surface.
Tears of hurt clouded his eyes as he set the knife down and looked at his cut. "Mmm…lifeblood…" Albedo moaned, moving across from his brother.
Jr. let out a grunt of pain as fresh blood ran from the scratch. "Now, put yours on mine," Albedo instructed, holding out his wrist. Jr. signed in defeat and pressed his own cut against Albedo's. It stung for a moment before Albedo's body ignited with purple aura and he said, "Now you can feel my pain."
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The next thing Jr. knew, he was standing in the courtyard of the Yuriev Institute. The sun shone bright into his eyes, causing him to squint. For some reason, he felt angry and abandoned…
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footfalls behind him. "What?" he asked, looking over his shoulder. But the voice that came from his mouth wasn't his…this one was more nasally.
Jr. inwardly gasped as he saw his fiery-haired past self, along with a calm-faced Nigredo, standing behind him. Rubedo looked angry, as if he was about to kill somebody. What the hell is going on? Jr. wondered. He looked down at his right hand, expecting to see the red number "666" emblazoned on the palm. Instead, he saw the number "667".
"What were you thinking? Number 623's badly injured!" Rubedo spat harshly, words laced with poison.
Having no control over his actions, Jr., or Albedo, heard himself say, "Is that what this is about? All he's got to do is just regenerate. What's the problem?"
"Re…generate?" Rubedo asked, flashing him a confused look. Nigredo narrowed his eyes and tilted his head in interest.
Before Jr. could react, he felt his right arm rise and move closer to his head. His powers activated, and he saw a blue energy orb form around his hand. "Regenerate…like this!"
POW.
Albedo, or Jr. (I'm so confused!) felt his head being ripped from his neck. The pain was unbelievable, but a few seconds later, he felt a tingling sensation as he regained vision and hearing. So that's what it feels like…Jr. thought, in complete awe at his brother's unique power.
"See?" he asked, closing his eyes and cracking his neck. When he reopened them, he saw himself and Nigredo with looks of utter horror and disgust on their faces. Suddenly…
"You idiot!" Rubedo's fist smashed into Jr.'s jaw, sending him flying backwards and to the ground. Nigredo hurried up behind Rubedo, taking his arm so that Rubedo couldn't punch Jr. again.
"Don't you ever pull that again!" Rubedo screamed, glaring menacingly at Jr. "If you die, you can't come back to life!"
Rubbing his cheek, Jr. felt fear and nervousness rising in his chest. "You mean…are you saying you can't regenerate?" the nasally voice asked timidly.
"Of course not!" Rubedo spat, lunging at Jr. again.
"Stop it," Nigredo whispered harshly, restraining Rubedo once again.
"That's a special ability only you possess," Rubedo explained to Jr., panting heavily.
"Only…me?" Jr. felt himself begin to cry. He had never felt so sad or alone before. "You're both gonna die…and leave me behind?" he asked through the tears. "No!"
Jr.'s body got to its feet and ran to Rubedo. He wrapped his arms around Rubedo's waist and buried his head in his chest.
"I don't wanna be alone!" Jr. heard himself yell hysterically. "If you die, I wanna die too!"
As Jr. continued to sob, Rubedo, embracing Jr., said, "Stop it…don't say things like that." He began to weep as well. "You're making me sad too!" Nigredo looked upon his brothers with sorrow as Jr. felt himself fade away, a dark demon gripping his consciousness…
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Then, Jr. found himself in the small garden area of the Yuriev Institute. Looking down at he saw the number "667" staring menacingly back at him. He looked around, the feeling of being abandoned relentless in his mind.
Dropping to his knees in front of a tree in the middle of the path, Jr.'s hands sunk beneath the soil, the biting cold causing his fingers to tingle. "I won't cry...I won't cry..." Jr. lectured himself, clawing at the dirt. He watched through blurry vision as the hole grew with each pull. Repeating his sacred mantra over and over again, he heard someone approach him from behind.
"667?"
Jr. turned to see a non-variant standing idly behind him. "Go away!" Albedo's voice spat, causing the U.R.T.V. to jump. "Leave me alone! And don't tell Rubedo or Nigredo where I am!"
The blonde gulped and nodded quickly, his bright blue eyes wide with fear. Jr./Albedo growled at him, and the blonde tore out of the garden, almost taking out a female unit on the way. "353? What's going on?" she asked, removing his hands from her back.
"667 was back there," number 353 explained, panting heavily and pointing over his shoulder. "He was digging or something."
"Digging? ...were they graves?" the female asked. Number 353 could only shrug.
"When they die, I'll dig graves just like I am now," Jr. reassured himself, trying to hold back the tears that were pressing onto his eyelids. "That way, I won't cry. I won't get upset. I swear it!"
Don't you worry, you're not liked…how long until you break? A voice in his head stated with a scary sweetness.
"No!" Jr. heard Albedo's voice scream. "I won't believe you! Never!"
You're happy because you smile, but how much can you fake? You're torn apart by all this, aren't you?
"I don't know!" Jr. screamed in anguish, grabbing his head.
Not an ordinary boy, don't have an ordinary name...but ordinary's just not good enough today, now, is it?
"Stop it, please..." Jr. begged in a small voice, biting his lip roughly.
You're a monster! An abomination of nature! Both you and Rubedo!
Jr. felt himself begin to go insane. The dark and sinister hold on his mind grew ever more intense. "A monster, eh?" Albedo's voice asked, snickering. "We're both monsters...he's my twin, so he has to be!" Jr. threw his head back and began laughing like a madman.
His laughter was interrupted by the automated female voice of the loudspeaker. "Attention. Your attention please. U.R.T.V. units 660-669, please report to the dive room immediately. That is all."
"Perfect! Now my twin can learn his true nature!" Albedo's voice exploded with insane mirth. Rising from his knees and wiping his hands on his pants, he left the garden area and took off for the main building...
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Next, Jr. was standing in a room with a grated floor. When he looked up, instead of a ceiling, he saw a starry sky streaked with search lights. Purple light shone from a hole in the center of the room, around which non-variants and the three variants stood. Jr.'s blood ran cold when he realized what he was going to feel next…
Jr. felt himself involuntarily reaching out and grabbing the hand next to his. He quickly looked over to see Rubedo beside him, a look of total confidence on his young face. Nigredo stood to Rubedo's left, peering coolly into the chasm.
"All right, open spiritual link. All U.R.T.V.s match your individual waves to mine," Rubedo commanded. The rest of the boys held out one of their hands and activated their powers. A blue link formed between their hands.
Immobilized by fear, Jr. could only whimper. He heard Rubedo let out a frustrated sigh as he reached over and put Jr.'s right hand out. "Here it comes…" Rubedo muttered.
Amethyst waves erupted by the center hole, dying out as they crashed into the blue link between the U.R.T.V.s. One approached Jr., and he winced in fear. "I'm scared, Rubedo…don't let go of my hand!" Albedo's voice said squeakily.
"Concentrate, Albedo. Just do it like in training and you'll be f-" Suddenly, Jr. felt Rubedo tense. Looking up at him, he noticed that his bright blue eyes were wide with shock and terror.
"What the…" the link master stuttered, staring out in front of him.
"Rubedo?" Nigredo asked, tilting his head to look at his brother.
Rubedo began to back up, pulling his shaky hand from Albedo. I mean, Jr….God, this is confusing. "Emergency cutoff! Shutting down spiritual link!" Rubedo suddenly commanded, causing his brothers to gawk and gasp at him.
"I know what I'm doing. Even though we think of them as mental waves, the resulting anti-particle collision with us will be converted directly into thermal energy," Rubedo stated. His voice turned hostile as he exclaimed, "Dad knew everything…that bastard!"
"The link is already complete. We can't stop it," Nigredo informed him, narrowing his eyes. Rubedo glared at him and continued trying to back away.
"No! Rubedo, don't let go!" Jr. heard himself exclaim frightfully.
"No, I'm cutting the link," Rubedo said, struggling to break free of Jr.'s strong grasp.
"Don't let go!" Jr. begged, hot tears pouring down his cheeks. Rubedo grunted as he broke from Jr., tripping backwards over his own feet. "No!"
The link between the brothers faded as the U-DO waves loomed precariously over them. "Oh no," one of the non-variants uttered, his eyes huge with terror.
The non-variants absorbed the waves, screaming bloody murder. "L-let's get out of here!" Nigredo exclaimed hysterically before he and Rubedo began to run. Jr. was about to follow them when he saw a wave hovering over his head. Then, as if a hand of judgment came down heavily upon him, the wave entered his body. It felt like all of the good and sanity was being torn from him, his soul slowly dying as he screamed Rubedo's name…
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"Stop!"
Jr.'s scream echoed like a gunshot throughout Albedo's entire subconscious. He quickly broke away from his brother, stumbling backwards. "See how it felt?" Albedo asked darkly. "See how it felt to be alone? To be abandoned? To be contaminated?"
Jr couldn't respond. Who would be able to respond to something like that? Jr. pulled his knees up to his chest, hugging them tightly to his body. His blue eyes were wide with shock and anxiety. He felt like dying. He needed to die. He had killed Albedo's soul, and that was just as bad as murder.
"Say something, you coward." Albedo flashed him an angry look as his folded his arms in front of his chest.
Struggling to regain his bearings, Jr. stammered stupidly, "I…I never knew…"
"Of course you didn't!" Albedo spat suddenly. "You were always too busy with Sakura! You never noticed me vying for your attention…it was like I wasn't even your brother anymore!"
Jr. watched Albedo's face contort in hurt and neglect. Tears began to mist his purple eyes as he whimpered, "You didn't even care anymore…"
Jr. hung his head in sorrow as he moved closer to his weeping twin. "Look…I-I'm sorry…" he said softly, placing a hand on Albedo's shoulder.
"The only one who cares is that kid who keeps coming here," Albedo said, furrowing his brow.
"Kid?" Jr. asked. "The Mystery Boy?"
"Did he have really bright eyes and shiny brown hair?" Albedo asked suddenly, looking up.
"Y-yeah," Jr. stammered, taken aback by Albedo's knowledge of the child.
"He's been coming around here for the past few days…he told me that you would be coming soon, but I didn't believe him," Albedo said, cocking his head sideways. "He won't even tell me his name…yet, there's something so familiar about him…"
"Pssh, I hear ya," Jr. said. "He was the one who led me here."
A long, eerie silence lingered between the brothers. Then, Jr. blurted, "Albedo, I wanna know how you feel about me right now!"
Albedo stared at him for a few seconds, contemplating his response. "It…it's hard to…" Suddenly, lower lip trembling, Albedo screamed, "I love you, but I hate you…I can't get around you!"
Jr. gasped in surprise as Albedo ran over to him, hugging him tightly and crying hysterically. "I breathe you, I taste you, I can't live with out you!" he cried as Jr. hugged him back.
"I just can't take this anymore! I can't take this life in solitude!"
"A-Albedo…" Jr. whispered, feeling warm tears running down his cheeks and tasting saline as they ran into the corners of his mouth.
"But I thought you were never going to come, and that I was going to be here forever," Albedo coughed. "I grew to hate you and Nigredo for leaving me."
"But the truth is, I miss you guys! I miss everything! I'm so isolated here," Albedo said, holding onto Jr. for dear life. "Why would you tear my world apart?"
"Albedo…the truth is, I left my head around your heart…I missed you too!" Jr. exploded in a fit of tears, clinging to Albedo. "It's you when I look in the mirror, and when anyone talks, I hear your voice…sometimes you can't make it…on your own…"
Muffled cries sounded as the boys hugged each other tighter, wanting never to let go. "Wh-why did you go kamikaze on me out there?" Albedo asked Jr., rubbing his eyes.
"I-I dunno…" Jr. admitted. "It was…just…I saw the blood all over your hands…did it make you feel more like a man? Was it all a part of your plan from the beginning?" Jr. looked at his feet, ashamed. "The pistols were shaking in my hands, and all I could hear was the sound…"
Albedo gently patted Jr.'s back as the redhead began crying again. "It's okay. Don't cry," he murmured into Jr.'s silky hair, savoring his scent. The brothers cried together for what seemed like an eternity, twin heartbeats pounding softly together…
After a while, the mournful weeping of the brothers hushed to quieted, exhausted breaths as they held each other with shaking arms. Jr. felt himself falling asleep in his brother's warm embrace, when suddenly; he felt that warmth being torn from him.
"Rubedo!" Albedo cried desperately, grabbing Jr.'s right hand with his own as the white-haired boy began to rise towards a bright light above. The light shone into Jr.'s eyes as he jumped up and grabbed firmly onto Albedo, the red "666" and "667" meeting for the first time in what seemed like forever.
But the pull on Albedo's body was too strong…the link between them broke as Jr. was forced to let go, falling to his knees in sorrow as Albedo screamed his name, fading into nothingness in the bright light.
"No! Albedo!" Jr. cried, pounding the ground with his fists. "Dammit!" Suddenly, the redhead felt a sharp, white-hot pain just between his eyes. Urgently, he turned his head to the side and retched violently. His vision distorted, he wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve and screamed in frustration and pain…
And everything became blurry.
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Kekekeke, only 1 more review till 100! The 100th reviewer will get a special gift, but I'm not telling you what yet…yay!
Sorry for the shortness and repetitiveness…I just felt like leaving it there. Now all I need to do is think of a title for chapter 15…-Thinks-
Only 3 chapters left, and then an epilogue!
Until next time, this is KOS-MOS rox, signing off!