Mob was bored.
Not that she would show it, of course, because then that would have hurt dad's feelings. It was Sunday. On Sundays, from midnight to midnight, they spent time together. So she was not going to complain even though she was bored. Very bored. Dad had brought her to a big fancy house, in England people had big fancy houses that they opened up for tours so that people could see their big fancy houses, and she was supposed to be enjoying exploring this big fancy house. Dad had said, last night, that he was bringing her here because mom would have liked it…which had been weird….
Very weird.
He never talked about mom. He had never talked about mom before except to say that she was a traitor and that she and Sho should never talk about her ever again. That was normal. Normal for dad. But then last night when she was about to go to sleep dad told her that he was going to take her to a place that mom would have liked to go to. This big fancy house. This big fancy house from the show the she liked about the British people who wore pretty dresses and lived in big fancy houses and stuff. She liked that show and…and Mob tried to like it too…because mom liked it…and she wanted to be like mom.
Mom had liked some very boring shows, though.
Mom…she would have liked this. Dad had said so. He knew mom better than she did. She sort of remembered mom….sort of. She wore a lot of yellow and liked to paint her nails red and she liked to watch boring shows about fancy people in fancy houses but she also liked the Aristocats a lot and she cooked all the time and she wore perfume and her lotion smelled nice and she had the fuzzy socks that Mob had worn once when she was little but then they felt weird so Mob took them off…and also one time she had put on mom's yellow dress and it had been too big and mom had been upset because Mob should not have been in her closet and…and stuff like that…so she sort of remembered mom….
But dad must have remembered her even better that Mob and Sho put together did.
Dad was lucky. He knew all of these things about mom that Mob didn't know. Like what her favorite show had been and how she had always wanted to come and see a big fancy English house and stuff. Mob should have known that mom liked big houses. The Castle had been so big that there were parts of it that she and Sho had never even gone to. It was three houses put together. Dad had done that for mom. You were supposed to live in a big fancy house when you had a lot of money and stuff. Mob didn't really understand it. Why would anyone need that much house? The Castle she had lived in and also this house? Who needed that much space?
When Mob grew up she hoped that she could live in a Claw house.
Dad had houses and stuff all over the world for people to live in. Where they lived in England right now was called a row house. Dad hadn't built this one, he had bought it, but the ones that he had built for Claw were called prefabs. They all looked the same and were just big enough for the people living in them. She lived those best. You could move from house to house, they did that sometimes when Sho put too many holes in the walls or the house got too dirty, and also if you broke it you could just have it built again. That would be good if Mob ended up having boys. Boys were always breaking things and putting holes in the walls and stuff. She hoped that she lived in a Claw house but she got the feeling that after dad took over the world he would have a big fancy house like this built for them to live in. Her and him. Not her and him and Sho because Sho was a boy and boys got to have their own houses and stuff. Girls had to stay with their parents for the rest of their lives…or their parent's lives. Whoever died first. Mob didn't like to think about it but she figured that dad would di first because he was over thirty years older than her. Also people were always trying to kill him. But then again Fukuda was always there to heal him and stuff….
Mob wished that dad had brought Fukuda along.
He and Fukuda were the same age and they had both been friends with mom, well dad had been married to mom which was a level above even best friends with matching bracelets, so maybe they both would have had fun here. More fun than Mob was having. One room and then another and then another…this was an adult thing. Mob was not an adult and….and she was not having fun but…but she had to try. She had to try and have fun and stuff because dad had brought her, not Fukuda, and she was supposed to be having fun here just like mom would have had fun here….
She was trying as hard as she could.
She was looking around the room at all of the old furniture and paintings and just trying to have fun. She knew this room from the show. This was the room where the one sister had slapped the other because she had kissed a boy without being married to him…which was a thing in England. She didn't know why that was such a big deal here. She had kissed a boy without being married to him and nothing bad had happened…well she had never seen him again and she had spent a lot of time in love with him…but it hadn't been a bad thing. Minegishi had said that some people kissed a lot of people before being married, some people only kissed the person that they were going to marry, some people just went around kissing people with no intention of marrying them, some people only kissed one person but had no plans on marrying them, and some people never kissed anyone at all. All of those options were equally valid. So she really didn't get it but like she'd been told her whole life she was very clueless.
That was not something that she could help about herself.
If she could get a clue then she would have gotten one a long time ago. There was so much in life that she just…didn't get. She didn't get the big things like why mom had run away from home or why dad all of a sudden was talking about her again or even the little things like why Sho had to take apart all of his food, these days, before he ate it or why Minegishi let Shimazaki call them Toshi now even though they hated it. Mob wished that she could get a clue and had thought that she would be able to once she got older but, obviously, that was not going to happen. Dad hadn't been able to get a clue either, he had said, but it didn't matter because he was going to take over the world and stuff. It mattered to Mob, though, since she had no plans of personally taking over the world and also…also it was hard not being able to understand stuff.
There was so much stuff that she could not understand.
She caught sight of herself in the window. She could see her reflection but also the world outside of the window. There was so much snow on the ground, even more than had been in London, and she wanted to play in it. Preferably with Sho because they always had fun in the snow together. She wanted to go out there with Sho and make a snow fort and a snowman and a snowwoman for the snowman and then some snowkids to make the family and then some pets and then Sho would kick it down and stuff but that was ok because it was only snow. They could throw snowballs, well Sho would throw snowballs at her anyway, but that was ok unless he decided to put snow down her back again…but that was ok too because it made Sho happy even though she hated it…and sometimes you had to put up with things that you didn't like to make the person you loved happy. That was just part of loving someone. Like how she loved dad so she wore her yellow Belle dress even though it was getting too small and she came to this place with him because mom would have liked it and she didn't even ask to play in the snow even though there were kilometers of untouched snow on the grounds…
So. Much. Snow.
And this house was on a hill too. Sho would have loved this. They could have gone sledding together. They could have used their powers to go faster, well Sho did that, to go so fast that they shot off into the air. It wouldn't have been scary at all because she could have caught them. They could have used their powers to go up the hill backwards, too, so that they wouldn't have to get tired walking up and down the hill again. They had done that for Sho's last birthday, his ninth not his tenth, well not the part with the powers because there had been other kids there…but still. Snow was fun. Snow was a lot more fun than walking around through someone else's big, fancy, house….
But mom would have liked this…so Mob was going to try to like this…and also she was going to do her best to make dad happy.
"The view is very nice, isn't it Daughter?" asked dad. He hadn't snuck up on her, she had been able to feel his aura, but she still tensed up when he came near. She didn't know why. She knew that he wasn't going to hit her, and he had hardly ever hit her, but she still tensed up when he came near. She didn't know why. She couldn't understand herself sometimes.
"Huh?" asked Mob. She hadn't been listening. There was snow coming down again. Not a lot of it but a little bit. It was pretty. This place must have been so nice during Christmastime. She wondered if when they shot the Christmas special of this show it had been during the actual Christmastime. They should have, it was so pretty, and also when they stopped shooting the show they all could have gone and played in the snow…but adults didn't play in the snow. Well not most of the time. Shimazaki and Sho played in the snow but Shimazaki was always a little drunk or high, he had said, because it made life more interesting.
But dad didn't care about making life interesting.
"The view. You're looking out the window. It's nice. I enjoy it, anyway, being able to see for kilometers. They had the right idea when they had built this house." Said dad. Mob nodded. She didn't looked over at him. She could see him reflected in the window. The windows were tall enough to reflect them both. He was tall…or maybe she was just short. She was growing, her dress was kind of short now, but dad would always be bigger and taller than her. Even his aura was bigger than hers. She could feel his aura all around her. He was around her and his aura was around her. She stood still and watched them both. She watched herself watching herself. She watched dad watching her. Dad wasn't watching himself. He was watching her. Sometimes it felt like he was always watching her.
She could always feel his aura on him.
For this whole day his aura had been on her. His aura had been on her even if his eyes hadn't been on her. She wanted…she wanted him to pay attention to someone else…but she also wanted him to pay attention to her. She wanted him to pay attention to her because she knew how hard it was, how much it hurt, when dad stopped looking at her or talking to her or…or even letting his aura touch hers….and she didn't want dad to ignore her again…and that meant that he would smother her…but it was ok.
It was Sunday and he smothered her on Sundays.
"I like it." Said Mob. She liked the snow, she liked the trees, and she liked how if she looked out the window for long enough, if she looked at her reflection in the window, she could sort of see herself as being outside. She could see herself being outside and in the snow….but she wasn't. Dad was beside her. She knew that she was beside him. She could feel his aura. She could feel him.
He put his hand on her back.
She wondered if he was going to kiss the top of her head again. He had been doing that a lot lately. When she had been little dad had hardly ever hugged her let alone kissed her but now it felt like she was always being held and touched and kissed and stuff. She had always wanted that, for dad to love her and stuff, and she knew that this was how your parents were supposed to be….but it just felt…weird. Mom had held her when she had been little and kissed her and stuff like that. Dad hadn't. But then when she had gotten older mom had stopped…but dad had never started…so maybe he was just making up for lost times. She held Sho and kissed him all the time…but maybe she should stop. Maybe he didn't like it.
Not that Mob didn't like it. This was how dad showed love and she had spent her whole life wanting dad to show her love…so this was ok.
"When I build a house for you you'll have a view just like this." said dad. He had his hand on her back now. She could feel how warm he was. She felt sort of cold. She didn't know why. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with dad…and stuff. Really, she did. She loved her dad and…and stuff. She just…she had always imagined living either in the Castle or a house she had picked out herself…but this was ok too. She had to stay with dad for the rest of her life. That was what he wanted and she was his Daughter so she had to be with him for the rest of his life. She wasn't going to run away from him or anything like that. She knew how much t hurt when the person you loved just ran away one day. She didn't think that she could ever do that to anyone.
"Um…ok. We can just like in Claw houses." Said Mob. She didn't want to live in a house this big. She would never see her kids when she had them. Everyone would get lost in this house and they'd spend the rest of their lives trying to find each other. She had lived in a house so big that there were rooms she had never even seen, rooms that her family had never even used, and rooms that you could get lost in…and she didn't want that. She wanted to live in the Castle, if she had to live in a great big house, and then only…only with Sho. With Sho and dad, because she had to live with dad for the rest of her life, and also her friends because there was the room…but of course not while dad was still alive…
But really she just wanted a regular sized house where her family could live.
"No, you deserve better. I'll build you a house bigger than any that has ever been. Even a British manor house if you want. Your mother might have liked a real British manor house….or one better than the one she had." Said dad. Mob wanted to tell him that she had no idea what mom would have wanted. She wanted to tell him that if he wanted to know what mom wanted he should have found her and asked her himself…but she was sort of in a bad mood from being bored and also having to get up early after staying up late. She would never tell dad what she was actually thinking. She wasn't a mean person like that. Especially not to her own dad.
"Dad….I don't care where I live just so long as I live with Sho…and you…and my friends are there too." Said Mob. She didn't like it when he talked about the future. Well she liked it when he talked about how good the future would be for them and all of the other espers in the world and stuff but she didn't much like it when he talked about the future that they would have together. She didn't want to think about how she would spend the rest of her life with him and not be able to pick her own house or life or…or anything.
Mom had said that she could grow up to be whoever she wanted to be.
Mom had said that she would grow up and go to university and get a job and meet someone who she would love and then get married and have babies and stuff like that. Dad said that she had to spend the rest of her life with him and marry an esper and then she would have her husband and her kids and her dad and stuff…and she didn't get to pick…and she wanted to pick. She wanted to pick for herself but she couldn't. She couldn't even pick when she went outside to play in the snow so of course she wouldn't be able to pick her own life.
"Well I care where you live…but I will take what you want into account. There will be room for your friends…next door. Not in the house. Even if there is enough room in the house." Said dad. Mob smiled. At least her friends would be next door forever. That would be good. They could hang out together forever. She could hang out with Minegishi all day and all night and whenever she wanted…well when she wasn't hanging out with dad, too. Dad would want to hang out with her all the time. He would have more time once he took over the world and gave it to Sho…and that would be…something.
She didn't know what that would be.
For her whole life she had wanted to spend time with dad. Even when she had been really little and dad had lived in the house but had also been gone for weeks and weeks and weeks and stuff. She had always wanted dad to be there and to be with her…but now she had him and he smothered her…but also he had ignored her and that had been worse…and she just…she had no idea how she felt. She wanted to be with dad and she wanted to not be with dad and…and she also really just wanted to be out there playing in the snow. Even if it would have been all by herself because it was just her and dad not her and Sho….and stuff. She would have been out there all on her own. Dad wouldn't have wanted to play in the snow with her.
Probably.
"I would like that a lot, dad. Being near my friends I mean. But I like to be with you too! I mean I'm…I'm happy to be here with you." Said Mob. She was not lying. She had been about to say that she had been having fun but that would have been a lie. She was not a liar. She wasn't good at it and she didn't like to lie. So she told the truth. She liked being with dad. Even though he was smothering her again, with his aura and his hand, she still liked being near him. He was being nice…or at least trying to be. He had taken her to this place because he thought that she would like it here….because mom had…and Mob didn't know why dad thought that she would like something just because mom had liked it. They were mother and daughter but Sho and dad were father and son and they weren't alike it all.
"I'm happy too. I knew you would like this place. Your mother would have loved it. Come along now, we have so many other rooms to see. You can get some ideas for the type of house you'll want for us when you grow up." Said dad
"How many more rooms?" asked Mob. She was tired. She was bored. She wanted to go home to play with Sho…well she really wanted to play in the snow…but she also missed Sho. She didn't want to see any more rooms…but dad did. She knew that he did and she wanted to make him happy. Everything was just easier when dad was happy.
"Twenty." Said Dad. Mob made herself stay calm. She could…she could try to see all of the rooms...even though they had already seen so many…and seeing them in life wasn't really that interesting.
"Twenty? Do we have to see them all?" asked Mob. She had to walk through TWENTY more rooms? She knew that the Castle had been big but…but she'd didn't think that it'd had twenty rooms. That was…in addition to the rooms that they had seen…who needed that much space? Maybe people with big families. Maybe British people just had really big families. She had a little family, just her and dad and Sho, but she knew that some people had big families. There were even some families with twenty kids…so that was why someone would need that many rooms she imagined.
Mob didn't think that she wanted to have twenty kids
She had no idea how many kids she would have but she knew that more than ten was too many kids. She knew that she would love them all and stuff but…but it was hard enough to take care of Sho sometimes. She didn't know what she would do with twenty little brothers…but maybe she would have a bunch of girls. Baby Mukai hadn't been that hard to take care of when Mob had gotten the hang of it….but maybe that was because she was a baby. Babies were easy because they couldn't run away and stuff….
Or maybe she could now.
Mukai was almost one now. Mob had read, before, that one year olds could walk ad stuff…and she had missed her own sister's…pretend sister's….first steps. She was going to do so much and Mob would never see it…but she had her own mom who was there for her and who would take care of her and stuff…and Mob should have been happy about her having a family and stuff. They were just pretend siblings after all. She may have looked a lot like dad and Sho but she hadn't been her sister. She hadn't come from mom and dad so she was not her sister. She had come from Korea, not Japan, and her mom had been Korean. Mom was not Korea. She was half Japanese. So was dad. So was Mob and so was Sho. But Mukai was Korean. She was Korean with red hair and blue eyes…and not Japanese…and not her sister….
So why did Mob miss her like this?
Mob didn't know. She didn't know why she felt like this and she didn't know how to make it stop. She leaned into dad's hand. Dad was there. She had been so alone and…and now she was less alone. She was with dad and…and he was there for her and she was there for him…so there was no need to have this alone type feeling inside of herself. She leaned into dad's hand. He pulled her close and moved his hand so he was holding her across her body. He was strong and she was small but…but him being there for her was better than him ignoring her.
"Are you getting tired? If you're tired I can carry you….possibly. How much do you weigh?" asked dad
"Thirty seven kilos." Said Mob. She knew that dad could lift her with his powers but they were in public now. She didn't know if dad could lift her on his own though. She weighed a lot, Minegishi couldn't lift her, and she knew that dad was a lot older than Minegishi and also his back hurt him a lot. Sometimes he even hurt his back getting out of bed. She didn't know what would happen if he tried to lift her up.
"No, I can't lift you out of my own strength, I don't know if my back could take it, but we can rest if you want to." Said Dad. Mob looked out the window again. She mostly just wanted to play in the snow. It was just so…nice. The snow in city had already been stepped in and played in and stuff. The snow here was white and smooth and she would have been the only person to have played in the snow….but they were not here to play in the snow. That was a Mob thing. They were here to look at stuff and get ideas for what their house would be like when she grew up. That was a dad thing. Well they were here because this was the house where mom's favorite show had been shot…so really this was a mom thing….and maybe he should have brought mom here when she had been here and-
And she was tired and bored and she was having mean thoughts and she was not supposed to be mean so she just…stopped thinking mean thoughts like that.
She calmed down. She was tired and when she was tired sometimes she thought mean thoughts. Like how Minegishi could be especially pointy when they were tired or if it was their laid up time. She had to think of dad. She had a lot of friends to do the things that she liked with but dad had no friends at all. That meant that she had to be his friend and do things with him that he liked. Mom had run away from him too so she had to do mom things. She had to go to places mom would like and stuff…
But what about what she wanted?
She had friends to have fun with and…and that should have been enough…but she just…she knew that she had to do what dad wanted. Dad was the boss and she was just the kid so she wasn't the boss…and also dad was the President of Claw and she was just the under vice president. That meant that she had power second only to dad and the vice president. She couldn't tell dad what to do…but what she wanted to do…did that matter? She wanted it to matter….and stuff….she wanted to do things that she liked to do. She wanted to play in the snow…and also she had a fun vape pen in her bag but she would not be smoking that now….but she really wanted to play in the snow…and she wanted…
She wanted to at least ask.
"OK…we don't have to rest but when we're done….can I go outside and play in the snow? I just…like to play in the snow." Said Mob. She thought that maybe it would be ok to ask. Even if he got mad he had said that he would never hit her…and he had hardly ever hit her to begin with…and stuff…so maybe she could ask.
"They don't allow people to play in the snow here, I apologize…but we're in the country. I can find a place with snow for you to play in if that's what you want. If that's what would make you happy." Said dad. Mob blinked. He had just…said yes? But he never said yes…he never said yes to Sho. She wasn't Sho. She was Daughter and Sho was Son and…and dad liked her better. Dad had always liked her better and…and she wanted dad to like Sho as much as he liked her…and stuff…but also she was sort of happy to play in the snow…even though if Sho asked he would have said no…
Was it ok to play in the snow?
"Um….I would like that. Let's go and…and see the twenty other rooms." Said Mob. She held dad's hand so they wouldn't get separated. Dad held her hand tight, he was the one who had been worried about them getting separated since he was the one who started the hand holding thing, and she let him. Even though he was strong and he was holding her hand too tight…but that was just how his love was. His love was too much sometimes, and sometimes it was hard, and…and stuff. But that was ok because sometimes it was nice. Sometimes she had to go to boring places from shows she didn't like and also wear dresses that didn't fit because dad said that she looked nice in yellow. Sometimes she had to do things that she didn't like but….but that was ok because sometimes in doing things that she didn't like she could do things that she did like…and that made it all worth it….
Even if she had to be bored a lot of the time.