Chapter 5: Pieces of a Puzzle

Even with all the tension in the air, a star system sacrifice, Shepard's newfound debilitating condition affecting him, and whatever the Council was going to send after Shepard and his crew, everyone went back to their individual duties. Tali, after staying with Cole for a few minutes longer to make sure he was okay, went down to Engineering to work away the discomfort that came from the conversation she had with him.

After she had taken her leave, Cole couldn't help but put his head into his hands. "God… what a mess this has turned out to be. Destroyed a system, killed an entire civilization of people, and now… I have a rift developing between me and Tali." He lets out a heavy sigh.

He sat there in silence for a few minutes more, allowing the weight of the galaxy to wear him down and grind him into dust. As he plunged deep into his wallowing, he didn't bother to notice or hear Samara walk up and enter the Med-lab.

"Shepard, are you alright?"

His head immediately shoots up and turns to the familiar presence in the room. "Samara… sorry, I didn't hear you come in. What can I do for you?"

A small smile grazes her lips. "There's nothing I need Shepard. I simply came here to check in on you."

"Thank you for checking in on me." He gets up from the medical bed and straightens out his shirt. "I'm okay." He pauses as he looks to Samara and watches the smile she had quickly turned somber. "Sorry, I forget I can't bluff my way pass you."

"Unfortunately, with all that has transpired, there's no one that you could 'bluff'." Cole's head just lowers slightly. "I…" She pauses and looks to the windows, quickly realizing that the conversation she wanted to have would not be quite so private. "If you like, we could go to your quarters or mine for this conversation."

"To be honest," He said as he rubbed the scruff on his chin. "I'm not sure if I really up for any kind of conversation."

"I know." She takes a couple of steps towards him. "But sometimes there isn't a good time to have a necessary conversation. So, your quarters or mine?"

After a few seconds of hesitation, Cole just nods. "Your quarters are closer."

"Very well."

Even though the distance from the Med-lab and her quarters were short, every step he took was strenuous, as if someone had weighed his shoes down with lead. As exhausting as it was to take each step, it didn't bother him. What truly bother him was this talk he was going to have with Samara.

He had often enjoyed his talks with her, but most of those talks were about her life and life in general. Philosophy, morals, ideals, goals, all of it to offer insight into one another. The conversation that was about to transpire felt more like a mother about to console her child. He didn't need or want that. As they entered her room, she half turns to him and gestures for him to take a seat. Once he took it, she followed suit and sat right beside him.

Leaning forward, he half turns to her. "So uh, what did you want to talk about?"

She sat there for just a moment, not saying anything. "I know what you're feeling in this moment, and nothing will be the same until you deal with the problem ahead of you."

"I know." He said without emotion, without feeling. "I've felt this ever since Eden Prime."

"Perhaps. However," She turns her head to look at Cole, "this is different. This is the most you had to sacrifice." The color in Cole's face immediately withdraws and every ounce of his muscles tense up. "But it's not how much you sacrifice that bothers you most, it was how easy it was to make that sacrifice."

It felt as if she had sucker punched him in the gut. No words came to him, no thoughts, just emptiness. All he could do was move his mouth in such a way that it looked like he wanted to say something but if only in a mumble.

Samara just puts her hand up. "It's alright, no words need to be said in this moment."

For several minutes, they sat there in silence and let the words sink in, take root, and eventually unearth what it meant for Cole. Samara, after a minute of silence, repositioned herself to her more meditative posture without entering her biotic trance. Cole, on the other hand, was in constant movement. With every minute that passed by, he would shift his position and every time he would reposition, he would look to Samara to see if she would engage with him, but she remained stoic in her meditative stance.

Soon enough, the silence became too much for Cole, making him slowly get up and move over to the observation window. "This is the kind of thing that makes or breaks someone in my position. Hell, if Hackett had it his way, he'd promote me. Both him and Anderson."

"Do you believe you deserve a promotion?" She said in a calm, smooth tone.

He quickly responds with a low chuckle. "No proper soldier ever thinks along those lines. My life… and my career in the Alliance have always had some form of tragedy. Both my parents were killed when I was young. I joined a shit gang that was abusive, which made me escape to the Alliance. The rest you probably know."

"All that tragedy made you a capable warrior."

"Yeah… yeah it did." As he continued to stare into the abyss of space, a slight shiver went down his spine when he felt her hand gently grasp his shoulder.

"I have been where you are now, Shepard. Circumstances are different, but the… feel of it is the same."

"Then tell me," He says as he turns to her, "what more of myself will I lose before the end?"

"You won't. You have lost nothing."

He blinks a few times as he attempts to process what she said, but ends up shaking his head. "I'm sorry… I know we've had many conversations between one another, mainly philosophical and about your life, but I have to say this is kind of out of the ordinary."

She just smiles. "I know and normally I wouldn't allow myself to get this personal with anyone." This time, it was her turn to walk up and gaze into the abyss. "Thane came to me after your incident and asked if I was going to come after you for what you did. I assured him I wouldn't, and I echo that now, but it reminded me that as a Justicar, I am looked upon as a cold and calculated person. Someone unfeeling and bound to kill any in my way; all of which is true."

"But there is more to you than that."

She just nods. "And that's what I would like to remind you of." She said as she turns to back to Cole. "Because it was you who reminded me I was more than just a Justicar. That I am a mother to two wonderful daughters who deserve my affection even though it might be hard for me to do so."

Cole just remains silent, slowly digesting everything she was saying. "You are a warrior that has sworn himself to defend the innocent at all costs. Whether it is good or bad, it is not for me to say. That ideal is your armor, but you do not always wear your armor like I do. Who you are without your armor will never be lost."

"I… thank you. All of this is um… very raw and fresh. I think I just need time to process."

"Of course. The complexities of these moments are always difficult in the beginning." She lays her hand on his shoulder once again. "Rest now, you've long deserved it."

――――――

Five hours pass before the Normandy enters the Sowilo system. In those five hours, things aboard the Normandy slightly got a bit livelier and, in some form, back to normal. Also, within those five hours, Joker had been managing several messages from various crew members asking about their current situation. He would respond to them with a simple, 'The mission hasn't changed.' or 'Continue to find a way to stop the Reapers.'

"EDI, could you do me a favor?"

"Of course, Jeff."

"Can you make the messages I responded with as my automated response if I receive yet another question to what is going on?" He said as he shook his head.

"If you wish." A moment of silence passes between them before EDI chimes in once again. "Is it wrong to keep vital information from the crew?"

He just chuckles. "That's way above my paygrade. Hell, I don't even get paid anymore, so it's not my business."

"But if things continue to go the way they are going, the crew could be in danger."

"Well, that's for Shepard to worry about."

A few more minutes of silent pass by once again before she continues. "I worry about Shepard's safety."

"Can an AI worry?"

"Jeff…"

"I'm sorry, bad joke. I know you're more than that now." He lets out a heavy sigh. "I worry about him too, on many things. He's been through hell and came back from it, but everyone has their limits. With the Council slash Alliance bearing down on him and a Reaper in his head, I fear that something is going to give."

"I agree… one moment."

"EDI?" He asked after a few moments of silence.

"My apologies, Mordin is requesting my knowledge on potential solutions to Shepard's problem. I'll be unavailable for a while."

"Well, I hope a solution will present itself."

"I hope so as well." And with that, her blue, wireframe sphere blinks off from the console nearby.

"Man, I hate all this." He then reaches for his console and brings up Shepard's cabin to contact him. "Hey Shepard, we're about thirty minutes away from Hagalaz. Did you want me to contact Liara to come aboard, or did you want to head down to her?"

"I'll be heading down. No need to contact her though, I'm certain she's already picked up the Normandy on her sensors."

"Yeah, that's fair. Is anyone going with you?"

"Not sure, I kind of want to do this alone."

"Well… with everything that has happened, perhaps having someone with you might be best."

"I'll think about it."

Suddenly, the feed to his room cuts out. "Damn it, Shepard. What the hell am I supposed to do, be a good friend or obey my commanding officer? Fuck it." He quickly goes through his console and pulls up the Engineering room. "Hey Tali."

"Hey Joker, what's going on?"

"So, Shepard is acting all weird and is about to go to Liara's by himself."

"I mean, if that's what he wants to do."

A very bewildered look comes across his face as he shakes his head. "What the shit? Is there something going on between you two?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, based on the tone of your voice just now, it certainly lends to that line of thinking. I mean seriously, you were about to jump down my throat for not checking in on Shepard during his mission often enough and now you think it's alright for him to go by himself after what has happened?"

"I'll go down with him." She said after a few moments, then the feed cuts out.

"Jesus… things are far worse than I imagine if there's a problem developing between those two."

――――――

Twenty-five minutes go by as Cole prepares himself for his visit to Liara. He knew there was a high chance that she already knew what happened with his mission. She is the Shadow Broker and the Shadow Broker always was several steps ahead of the rest of the galaxy. Once he felt properly prepared for his conversation with Liara, he headed down to the hangar to get to the Kodiak. However, as the elevator door opened, he saw Tali over by the shuttle – seemingly preparing it for travel.

"Tali… I wasn't expecting anyone to be here."

She stops what she was doing and looks up at Cole. "Well… to be honest, I wasn't expecting to be here either. I was going to give you some space so you could do your own thing. Then Joker contacted me and made me realize it was quite a dumb idea."

"I should have figured he'd tell someone." He lets out a sigh. "It's not that I don't want anyone to come with me, I just… I'm not sick. I'm not wounded. I don't need to be watched over or worried about."

Suddenly, Joker's voice comes over the coms. "That's a joke, right? I mean, it's not like you're in terrible danger with a Reaper in your head."

Cole pinches the bridge of his nose. "Joker… I'm not… I didn't mean…"

"No, no, it's okay. I get it." He then cuts off the com.

"Damn it…" He moves his hand from the bridge of his nose to his forehead. "I can't deal with this right now."

"Shepard…" Tali said as she grabbed a hold of his hand on his forehead and pulls it into her own. "if you are feeling this way, perhaps you should start to lean on those who matter most to you."

Cole says nothing for quite a while. He just shifts his gaze from Tali's eyes to their intertwine hands, then back to Tali's eyes. "I know. It's obvious to me that I need to do so, but… what's headed my way seems too much for anyone else to handle."

"Honestly, we are fighting the Reapers, Shepard. That's already something too big for us to handle, yet we're handling it. It hasn't been perfect, and we have suffered losses in this fight, but it hasn't stopped us from trying. Why should this," She reaches up to touch his scaring. "stop us from trying?"

He just lowers his head and leans into her hand. "I don't have an answer to that, so I guess there isn't a reason why anyone here shouldn't." He quickly smiles, then hides it away. "I just don't know what to do now. It was easier when the enemy was in front of me, but now it's inside me. I'm barely dealing with this. How the hell is anyone else supposed to help me?"

She reaches up with her other hand and places it onto the other side of his face. "One day at a time. Mordin, Miranda, and Doctor Chakwas will figure something out. You have the best minds looking out for you, let them."

"It's not as easy for me."

She lets out a soft chuckle. "I know. You have always been the center of us all, keeping us all in check. Having all of us check you won't be easy, but it's necessary."

"Just… don't push so hard."

"No promises."

A low chuckle passes between the two of them, welcoming the small moment of lightheartedness in the current chaotic storm they've found themselves in. The moment, however, quickly passes away, and they make their way into the Kodiak and begin their descent to Liara's ship.

As their ship drew closer to her ship, Cole had the feeling of butterflies creep into the pit of his stomach. Passing thoughts of what Liara knew and her feelings on what happened whiz through his mind – each thought becoming worse and worse.

If she truly knows what happened, would she understand why I did what I did? She's a close friend, she would understand… or would she? It's been a few months since she took on the mantle of Shadow Broker… what if that power got to her? I mean… she would gain a lot of favors, intel, credits, for any information about what I did. The Alliance and Council did react unusually fast after my conversation with Hackett… Suddenly, a spike of heat shoots through his spine and into his skull, causing him to wince in pain. No, no… this can't be true. She wouldn't do that.

A different voice enters his mind – making that spike in heat shift to a chilling sensation. Everyone you know works against you.

Tali, at the helm of the cockpit, went through the motions of guiding their shuttle to the hangar of Liara's ship. With the constant storms that whirl around the planet made it difficult to traverse, but once she received the information of where and how to dock into her ship, she programed the autopilot to take over and land the shuttle.

"This ship is a wonder. I'm still amazed that the Shadow Broker's ship is capable of using the storm to its advantage. I would love to study it at some point, but it really wouldn't have a use outside of a planet like this." A few seconds pass by with nothing but silence. "Shepard?"

There, sitting beside her, she saw Cole doubling over in pain. His eyes were tightly closed, his hands tightly gripping the arms of the chair, and his cybernetic scaring glowing much brighter with a white hue instead of a light blue.

"Shepard? Are you alright?" He only shakes his head no.

There is no escaping our grasp, Shepard. Even now, forces are working against you in your fight.

She quickly gets out of her seat and rushes to his side. "Talk to me. Tell me what's happening."

"Har… benger… in my… head." He said through his gritted teeth. "Like teeth… shredding… through me."

The next few minutes are fraught with panic as Tali moves back to the pilot seat and takes over once again – ignoring all safety measures and proper speed for a landing procedure. Inside the Shadow Broker's hanger, Liara was a few feet away from the landing area, patiently waiting for their arrival. A smile crossed her face as she spotted the shuttle off in the distance, but as she stared at the shuttle, she realized that its trajectory and speed were horribly off.

The muscles in her shoulders and upper-back tensed up over the next few minutes as the shuttle drew closer and closer. When the speed and trajectory didn't change, an onset of panic shot through her, causing her to retroactively ready herself for whatever was to come next. She watched as the shuttle rush in at near top speed, then shift and twist to its right side with its thrusters pointed straight down. The sudden speed drop would have rocked anyone inside the shuttle, but somehow it landed without an issue.

Liara, as the shuttle touched down, rushed to the door and bangs on it. "Is everyone alright in there?" Without missing a beat, the door opens revealing Tali barely holding up Cole, who appeared to be in and out of conscience. "Oh, Goddess… what's the matter with Shepard?"

"There's no time. We need to get him somewhere where we can properly take care of him."

Liara rushes to Cole's left side and helps prop him up. "There's really no medical area on this ship, but we can head to my bedroom and lay him down there." She said as both her and Tali head out of the hanger and into the halls of her ship. After rounding several corners, they enter the Shadow Broker's office and communication line – where they fought the last Broker.

"It's just up these stairs." Liara said, panting and sweating.

Barely pulling him up the stairs, they make their way on the last few steps to her bed before all of them collapse onto it. Both Tali and Liara, after taking a few breaths to compose themselves, quickly flip Cole over and look him over.

Liara just looks at him wide eyed as she watches the glowing cracks on his skin grow and lengthen. "What… what is doing this?"

Tali, with her hands on Cole's chest and face, hovered over him as she tried to assess how bad the attack was. "The Reapers are doing this to him." She said, giving Liara a quick glance before focusing back on Cole. "Shepard, are you still with us?"

Sweat drenched the entirety of his body. Eyes closed, and his body twitching and shaking, all that he could mutter out was mumbles and groans. With no real response coming from him, Tali moves her hand on his chest and cups the other side of his face and turns his head towards her.

"Shepard, you must stay with me. You have to shut them out."

You are weak, Shepard, you will break.

His cybernetics suddenly flash with an intense brightness just as his body arks up and off the bed – locking him in internal pain. The only response Cole could utter was a horrifying howl of pain and despair. Liara couldn't help but pull back in fear, nearly making a yelping sound as she pulled back with her hands clasped around her mouth. Tali was the exact opposite.

In one swift motion, she throws herself on top of Cole's abdomen and pushes him back down onto the bed. "Shepard." When he didn't respond, she places both of her hands on his chest and yells out. "Cole. I need you to look at me, Cole."

A chilling shock pulses through his body as through all the pain and dark whispers from Harbinger, he barely heard Tali call out to him – truly call out to him. "Tali." He gasps out, nearly sounding like an undead wraith, as he barely manages to open his eyes to gaze up at Tali.

"Yes Cole. Keep looking at me and take a couple of deep breaths." She then moves her left hand over his chest, near his heart, as well as grabbing his left hand and placing it over her chest, near her heart. "Breath Cole. Slow, deep breaths. We'll get through this together."

You cannot stop the inevitable Shepard. You will fail utterly and completely.

"Feel my heartbeat, Cole, feel the rhythm of it."

Even with the pain and dark whispers piercing his mind, every time Tali would call him by his name, the same chilling shock would pulse through his body and mind, allowing him to hear her words to him. With each pulse, he tried to put whatever remained of his strength into focusing on her heartbeat.

She cannot free you from our grasp. You will be ours to have.

"They will not have you."

What would have been a pulse turned into a jagged spike that pierced his heart and mind. The pain and dark whispers locking him in the torment subside in him. The more it lessened, the more his body would loosen up and his cybernetics would dim in brightness. Soon enough, the rhythmic beat of Tali's heart matched his own and, with the rhythm's tranquility, Harbinger's hold over him eventually breaks.

Tears run down the corners of his eyes and just breaths. "Thank you, Tali."

She shifts once again and moves her hands back to the sides of his face. "There's no need."

Liara, astonished by what had just transpired, slowly creeps back to the side of her bed. "That was… Goddess, that was unbelievably horrifying. Are you alright Shepard?"

"For the moment… I believe so." He gestures to Tali to get up so he can pull himself up to the head of the bed. "I hope you don't mind if I just stay lying here for a bit. I'm feeling a bit weak from the ordeal."

"Yes, yes, of course." Liara says as she sits down on the side of the bed. "Do you need anything?"

"No, no… just a bit of rest." Several moments of silence pass between the three of them. Tali kept holding his hand while Liara inspects his bright, glowing scars on his face and the few that had grown on his arms.

Once Tali felt Cole was stable, she gets up from the bed, but Cole was quick to tighten his hand on hers. "Wait, where are you going?"

"I… I need to check in on the shuttle. We came in quite hot, and I need to make sure it's alright. After that, I'll prep it for our departure and come back as soon as I can." She attempts to pull away but gets impeded by his hold on her hand.

"I need you with me. I don't know if I can…"

"Peace Cole. I won't be long, and Liara will be here to help if something happens and contact me." She then places her hand onto his shoulder. "Besides, you have some things to discuss with Liara. That should help distract you from Harbinger." After giving him a few moments to think about it, he nods and lets her go.

Once she had left the room, Liara repositions herself to sit cross-legged beside Cole, who also repositioned himself so that his back laid against the wall. "So… I take it a lot happened since the last I saw you."

"Yeah… yeah you can say that." He said, sheepishly.

"Well, for expediency, I'll just let you know what I know, and you can fill in the blanks." Cole nods. "I know you were given a secret mission from Admiral Hackett. I also know that the Normandy was the last ship to leave the Bahak system before it was destroyed. If I were to assume, whatever happened to you happened in that system."

"That would be a good assumption."

Over the next several minutes, Cole goes over what Hackett wanted him to do, how he went about the mission, the information given to him from Doctor Kenson about the Reaper invasion, and finally his interaction with the Reaper artifact along with his escape.

"After that, I met with Hackett once again and basically told me I would most likely have to face trail for everything that happened. The idea was to come to you first before I turn myself in. All that changed when this happened to me."

She shakes her head. "I can't believe this happened to you."

"Yeah, me either." He pauses for a moment and thinks about something Liara said before he broke everything down. "How exactly do you know that the Normandy was last in the system?"

"The original Shadow Broker had installed cameras on every Relay in the galaxy. I had received a video recording of the whole thing, and to be truly honest with you, the only reason I allowed you here is because of what I found in that recording."

"Wait what?" Doubt creeps into his head. "Why?"

"Please believe me Shepard, the last thing I wanted to think was that this whole thing was done with ill intent." She looks down immediately, head tilting in such a way as to cover her face from Cole. "I am ashamed to have jumped to conclusions, but at face value, all of this looks bad."

I told you. Harbinger's voice slowly booms in his head, though Cole was quick to shake off his voice.

"I… part of me understands. Like you said, all of it looks horribly bad and I can't blame you for that."

"But you are my friend Shepard. I should know better than to jump to conclusions like that."

He reaches up with his right hand and grabs hold of her shoulder. "You and I both know that people can change over time. Don't worry." Liara looks back up to him, eyes watering. "Besides, you clearly found something if you allowed me here."

She nods. "I did." She then wipes away the beginnings of a tear from her right eye. "I had to magnify various sections of space, but I found the Reaper armada waiting outside the system's edge. After that, it all clicked to me on why all of this happened."

"I assume you still have this video?" She nods once again. "I'm going to need a copy of that."

"Of course, Glyph." A few seconds pass by and the light blue hologram of the Shadow Broker's assistant glides into the room.

"Yes, Shadow Broker."

She turns to look at Glyph. "I need you to make a copy of video recording A324C602. Send it to Shepard's omni-tool once you have it."

"Of course, Shadow Broker. It will be done."

"Glyph, huh?"

"Well, it's better than calling it Shadow Broker's assistant." She said as she turned back to him. "There's one other thing. Ashley managed to contact me through some of my old contacts back on Illum. Apparently, she kept tabs on me at some point. Either way, she asked about your whereabouts."

"Terrific."

"I didn't say much. She asked how I was doing. I asked how she was doing. Shortly after, in pure Ashley fashion, she got straight to the point and asked me where you were. Of course, I said that I didn't, but I pointed her to the Osun system."

Cole just gives her a raised eyebrow. "Isn't that a bit close to revealing where you are?"

"Not really. Remember, it took me a lot of time, money, and… deaths to find this place. I doubt whatever Ashley has at her disposal can find me. However, the reason I pointed her there was for you to encounter her on your terms."

"So, you know that she's coming after me."

"Well, it's pretty clear she wants to find you if she's contacting me."

"Who's contacting you?" Both Liara and Cole look at the doorway and watch Tali enter the room. "Is there someone we should expect?"

"Ashley." Replied Cole.

"What? We don't need her muddling things up right now."

"I agree." He grunts and groans as he shifts and turns to get up off the bed. "But we can use this to our advantage. I know where she'll be, and we'll be waiting for her."

"To what end? She'll just try to capture you."

"Well, she's welcome to try but it won't go that way." He looks down at the floor, then back to Tali. "Yeah, we'll be there, and we'll use her to our own means. If all goes well, she'll buy me the time I need to cut my connection to the Reapers."