Suzuki's business was in Moscow, not St. Petersburg…but that didn't matter.
He had much more important business in St. Petersburg. It was Sunday and on Sundays he did things with his Daughter. This Sunday they would be seeing the winter palace. She liked palaces, he liked history, and they both liked architecture. They both liked it in the same way, a purely aesthetic level. He couldn't tell what any of it meant, the height of the ceiling, the shape of the windows, the height of the building, but he did know that it was beautiful. So did Daughter.
"People really lived here, dad?" asked Daughter. She held his hand as they walked up the steps of the winter palace. Her hand was warm in his. He could feel it through her little blue gloves. She was wearing all blue today. A blue dress, blue boots, blue tights, a blue hat, blue gloves, and a blue jacket. She stood out in a sea of black. He didn't know why she still let the elements affect her…but he wasn't going to complain.
She looked beautiful in blue.
"Yes, Daughter, they did." Said Suzuki. He held her hand tightly so they didn't get separated. There were other people around, not many in this dreary weather but enough to worry him, and he needed to keep her close. She was so small and so fragile and she could get swept away in the crowd or lost or…or she could leave…but he had to stop thinking like that. She would never leave him. She loved him. She loved him and….sometimes when people loved you they left…but she was not Masami. She was not her mother.
"It's so big. It's even bigger than the big fancy house we went to in England. I can't believe that one family lived her." said Daughter. There was some wetness to the steps. He kept her steady with his powers. He couldn't have her falling down and breaking a bone or dying. Fukuda wasn't around. He was off with the others. He was loathe to go so far from his only healer but this was his time with Daughter and Daughter alone.
"That was a manor house, this is a palace, and more than just the royals lived here. Their servants, the royal court, hundreds of people lived here. Of course when I build you your own palace there will be far fewer people in our space." Said Suzuki. They were inside now. The sudden burst of warmness was slightly uncomfortable but he didn't mind. Daughter must have minded more than he did. She was in full winter clothing. He wondered why she didn't just adjust her barrier to keep out the elements…but perhaps she just liked the way she looked all dressed up like that. She was…perfect….well she was always so perfect but she looked especially perfect in blue.
Because it was her favorite color.
He had been able to figure that out after going through her wardrobe. Eight seven percent of the clothing she owned had some blue in it. That was a very large percentage so therefore that must have been her favorite color. He liked her in blue because it was her favorite. Well he liked her best in yellow but blue was good too. She liked blue best and he liked to see her happy.
He wouldn't have wanted to see her any other way.
"You're going to build us a palace? I thought that you were just going to build us a really big house. You know, like when we lived in the Castle." Said Daughter as she unbuttoned her coat. He reached over and helped her out of it. She seemed confused for a moment. Hadn't anyone ever helped her out of her coat before? That was a thing that you were supposed to do. He had helped Masami out of her coat numerous times in the past. Back when they had gone places together. She had so liked it when they went out together…and maybe they should have travelled more together…
It would have been far too dangerous.
Even now he was uneasy. Daughter was so small and fragile….physically at least. She was a powerful esper in her own right but also something of a pacifist. That was why he had never truly shared kendo or naginata with her. She hated conflict of all sorts. He had no idea where that had come from. He had no idea what he was supposed to do about it. To change that aspect of herself was to change, well, who Daughter was as a person. He loved her for who she was. He loved her for the puzzle that she was. She always had something new for him to learn and he wasn't about to go changing her.
He never wanted her to change.
"The old house was just that, a house. You deserve a palace and I can give you one." said Suzuki. He took the hat from her head and put it in her coat pocket as he had seen her do time and time again. He brushed her bangs out. Her hair had taken on the shape of her hat. He didn't like it. He put her hair back to the shape it should have been. She stood still as he ran his fingers through her bangs. The long stands at the ends of them, the ones she never added to her braids, were thrown behind her shoulders. He put them the way they should have been.
There. Now she was perfect.
"I...ok dad, whatever you want." Said Daughter. Her hair was perfect now. Good. He reached down and pulled her gloves from her hands. He expected her nails to be red but they were blue. They were blue and they caught the light and they were….her. Blue. She loved blue. He had been expecting red but he got blue...and that was fine. Blue was fine because she liked blue, it was her favorite color.
She preferred blue dresser to yellow and she preferred blue nails to red nails…and that was alright too.
"Good. Now come along. Let's see the rooms they have opened for the public today. Maybe you'll get some ideas." Said Suzuki as he took his Daughter's hand once again. He held her little hand in his. He was amazed at how small her hand was in his. There had been a time when she had been able to wrap almost her whole hand around his finger. She had once been so very tiny….and she was small now. She was so small…but not as small as she had once been.
He missed it when she had been small.
He had no idea where these thoughts had been coming from. He had always been so anxious for her to grow up quicker, and he still wanted that, but he had found himself becoming more and more melancholy for those days when she had been small. She had been so small that he could lift her with one arm. She had run to him and thrown herself into his legs demanding to be picked up and held. She had called him 'daddy' in those days. 'Daddy, upsie' she would say. He would pick her up but…but he would put her down almost immediately. It had been such a gift to hold her and he had taken that gift for granted. Now she was too big for him to lift…
But she was not too big for him to hold her hand.
"I'm not going to run off, dad, you don't have to hold my hand." Said Daughter.
"I know that you won't….but I want to." Said Suzuki. He held Daughter's hand as they walked through an unnecessarily ornate hallway. There was a reason why most of the hallways at the HQs were bare. He was not a decorator. He just was not creative in that way. Son was very artistically creative. He was curious to see what he would do to the great buildings of Claw. The HQs. The Division HQs. Son would probably build his own divisions of Claw…and Suzuki couldn't wait to see what he did with them. Claw would be fine under his leadership…so maybe it would be already to give him the reigns a little earlier than planned….
Then he could spend more time with Daughter.
"But…none of the other kids' dads are holding their hands." Said Daughter. Suzuki looked around. Yes, some children were holding on to their parents. Smaller children than she was but children just the same. Children were supposed to hold on to their parents when they were out. On the rare times when he accompanied Masami and the children out in the world he had been told to hold on to either Son or Daughter. He simply kept them tethered to him with his powers. He hadn't known what a gift it was to hold onto Daughter back then. He had taken so much for granted…
But not anymore.
"There. I can see some children holding on to their parents. Therefore this is socially acceptable." Said Suzuki. She worried more about that, being socially acceptable. She was better at figuring out what was and was not allowed….but he had powers of observation too. He had to hold on to her. The children's Russian was terrible and this country was very foreign to what they were used to. Therefore he had to hold on to them…to Daughter. Son could take care of himself, mostly, and when he couldn't that was what Fukuda was for. Daughter…there were so many dangers around her…and he would protect her.
"Those are little kids. I'm not a little kid, I'm ten." Said Daughter. He watched the path her eyes took. She was glancing over at children her were closer to her age, if height was anything to go off of. She cared about blending in with others her own age…and he could understand that…somewhat.
"…as you wish." Said Suzuki. He slowly let go of her hand. He felt cold without her. She stayed by his side but she did not put her hand in his…even though there was nothing wrong with him holding on to her. What did she care what her close in age peers thought? She was Suzuki Shigeko. She was royalty, practically, and she should not have given a damn what others her age thought about her. She was her. She was the most perfect person…the second most…the most perfect person to him in her category…
He loved her so much.
And he so wanted to hold on to her. There was a gift to it, holding on to her, and there was not a time in which they were together when he did not wish that he was holding her in some way. Holding her to keep her safe. Holding her to keep her warm. Holding her to affirm affection. Holding her to make her feel what he felt for her. Just…holding her in some way. She was so very small and warm and soft….
But she did not want to be held.
And he would respect that. Even though the distance between them, only a sliver of light, felt like lightyears which separated them. She was there beside him, he could feel her aura and see her there physically, but…but at any moment she could stop being beside him. She could turn a corner and leave his sight and then just…leave. He had no idea where she could possibly go as a ten year old stranger in this strange land but he didn't want to find out. He wanted to grab her hand and keep it in his so she could not leave him….
But he didn't.
He watched her, though, he watched her as she watched everything. Her eyes were drawn to the walls, the paintings, the views out the window. She may have been looking out the window, though. She loved to play in the snow…and he would have loved to play with her if he hadn't lost that ability years ago. His back was beginning to betray him. He couldn't get down and dig and build and all of that….and he wished that he had spent more time playing with her when she had been younger…
But he was spending time with her now and that was what mattered.
"If you're thinking of playing in the snow you'll have to play with your brother. Stooping down like that is…not as easy as it used to be." Said Suzuki. He tracked the path her eyes took. She was looking past another family, one larger than his with three sons and a baby daughter, and out the window.
"I know, dad, I remember what happened before. About your back. I wasn't looking at the snow I was….looking around." Said Daughter. She tucked her chin into her chest and her face took on some color there. He didn't understand. Was she still cold? There was a chill which came in from the windows. They were in Russia, the winters were even more brutal than the ones of his childhood, and he would have thought that the people here would have done more to keep out the elements.
No matter, no matter.
There was a room opened for viewing. Everyone was on their way to the ballroom it seemed, and it was supposed to be amazing but she was chilled here and he did not want to see her chilled. He put his hand on her shoulder and attempted to lead her off into one of the other rooms, one full of paintings, but she…did not allow herself to be led. She stood still as he attempted to turn her around…and he didn't understand. He had led Masami like this so many times like this.
"We should follow the group, dad." Said Daughter. Her eyes followed the same family that she had been following this whole time. She did enjoy being around others…but she was chilled here. She was chilled and he could take her to a place where she would not be chilled…and she did not want that…and he did not understand.
"You're chilled. It's warmer in that room." Said Suzuki. His hand was still on her shoulder but she was still not moving. He didn't understand. He didn't understand her right then…but that was alright. Not understanding her was….was something in and of its self. Not a bad thing. There was a puzzle to her and he was simply picking up another one of her pieces. He had her piece in his hands, this piece of her, and he just needed to see where it fit in with the rest of what he knew about her.
He knew so much and so little about her.
He knew that she liked royalty. She was royalty so, of course, she would have an affinity to royalty. She was a princess, his princess, because one day he would rule the world. This was a European palace and she was obsessed with European royalty….and she liked it. She was happy but chilled but….but she didn't want to go. She wanted to go where everyone else was going and…and she was a much more social creature than he had ever been….so it made sense….he supposed….
He let go of her.
"I'm not cold." Said Daughter even though she was so clearly flushed.
"Yes you are. You skin flushes when you get cold. That's your body sending more blood to your outer layer of skin in an effort to ward off hypothermia. It's very pronounced because you have skin like a porcelain doll." Said Suzuki
"Um…I'm not red for…for that reason. Can we just…um….can we just keep walking in this direction? Where the…the other people are going? Maybe it's something good." Said Daughter. Her eyes followed that same family as they rounded the corner. Suzuki let go of her.
"As you wish." Said Suzuki
"Thanks Dad, we can come back here in a minute. Don't worry." Said Daughter. She spoke as though she were the one in charge…and he would let her speak that way. She was, in some ways, in charge. This was her day after all. This was the one day out of the week that he took from his busy life and gave to her….and she deserved it. She deserved this day and every other day. She was there and he hoped that she would always be there, right there, at his side. He cared so much for her….more than he had ever cared for anyone else…aside from Masami….
But there were ways in which he cared for Daughter more.
Daughter was someone who he could share every part of his life with. She was so much like him. An esper of unimaginable power and strength. Someone who knew that importance of emotional control. Masami had never been able to understand it. She had always been asking him to emote more, to share his emotions more freely, to show what he felt….and he couldn't. Most of the time he couldn't. Even when they were together sexually he couldn't. Not fully. Not without putting her in danger. Daughter understood him. She understand that she could not ask that much of him.
He could give her what she did ask for.
He wanted to give her everything in the world. She was his and he treasured her and she deserved all that he could give and more. Unlike Masami she was someone who he could fully share every part of his life with. His powers, his dreams, his travels…all of it. She would always be there by his side. Masami would have loved this but he never could have been able to bring Masami to a place like this. To any place. There was a reason that he had been making some very serious plans to construct a walled in city for her.
She was fragile.
She was a normal human. Daughter abhorred conflict but if worst ever came to worst then she would be able to at least put up a barrier. Masami did not have that ability. She was helpless, a sitting duck out there, and he could not be by her side twenty four hours a day and she had refused guards time and time again. He may have disliked all of Daughter's friends but they were, mostly, capable of keeping her safe. Hatori was there mostly to keep her company and also to fix the Netflix when it froze and remembered the password for them. He also suspected that Daughter still had feelings for the man but, well, she could do better and that was why she never started anything romantic with him. There really was no man that was good enough for him but he would see her married to a department store mannequin before he saw her married to the likes of Hatori Nozomu. The children….the poor children such a union would create….
Not that he had to worry about anything like that now.
She was a child. She was still a child, a child on the cusp of the worst period in anyone's life was still a child, and she acted as a child did. He didn't have to worry about her meeting a man and running off with him and replacing him in her life with some moron who had no idea how wonderful she was and what a gift it was to love her. No, he didn't have to worry about any of that at all.
He wasn't worried about a thing.
No, only her happiness. He had followed the people to the grand ballroom. An exhibition of clothing and other artifacts from the tsars had been set up. Yes, this was interesting. Seeing how people lived in the past. The spiritual energy attached to these objects. Only the most sensitive amongst them could feel this. He was no medium, of course, so he could just feel the energy. They said that Mogami Keiji, the most powerful medium to ever live, had been able to tell the history of an object just by touching it.
He had never been so talented.
No. That man…that man and that show had been the first time he had ever opened his eyes to the existence of others like him. Mother and father had gotten him a VCR so he could tape the show, they had indulged him so and he did the same for his children, and he had poured over it religiously trying to copy what the man did. Aside from exoticisms and being able to push his soul from his body, always an unpleasant experience, he was no medium…and that had been….not a good feeling. Understanding that there were things in life that he could not do…but that was alright. Eventually he realized that he didn't need to have every power to be the most powerful being on Earth…and also he was grateful to have figured it out before he had met Fukuda or he might have been jealous of his power set.
Suzuki Touichirou was jealous of no one.
So what if he couldn't tell the history of an object just by touching it. He could grant and steal power at will. That was a much greater ability than anything that old, dead, medium had ever had. It had been such a relief, though, when he had hung himself…less competition….back when he had been afraid of such things. No, now he knew what powers mattered and what didn't….and besides. All of those objects were behind glass anyway so it didn't matter in the least bit.
That was a lovely dress.
He was here to enjoy things on an ascetic level so that was what he was going to do. That dress was lovely. He liked the pearls all down the front. Perhaps Daughter would like something like that. In blue, of course, because it was her favorite color. Even though she looked so much more perfect in yellow….no. Blue was her most perfect color because it was her favorite. She looked best in blue and….and he would have a dress made for her like that in blue. With the pearls…or maybe she didn't like them. Masami had always hated pearls. She said that they made her look old…even though of course they didn't….but women and their fashions were such a mystery to him even after all of these years so he had better ask Daughter.
"Daughter, would you like-" his words died in his throat. She had just been beside him….and now she was gone! Gone from his sight! The room rattled and the electricity cut out for a moment. Right. Power is nothing without control, Touichirou, you're almost forty four years old. It's time to put all of that behind you and…and find your Daughter before it's too late and she runs away from you forever….
She was in the room.
He felt her aura. He would have slapped himself across the face had it been socially acceptable. She was right there. She was right there not three meters away from him. She was there, a dot of blue in a sea of black and grey and other such muted winter colors, and she was…she was fine. She was standing next to another child talking and looking at an exhibit….
A male child.
He…he had the very irrational impulse to pull her away. She was talking to a male child and…and that was normal. She should only have spoken to other espers but….but she was a social creature…so that was normal. She was heterosexual, or at least he assumed that she was, so talking to members of the opposite sex was normal….and he should have encouraged it. He should have encouraged her to be heterosexual to secure the next generation…well she could reproduce as a homosexual but that was more steps and also if she chose a wife he would have to live with another woman and they were confusing and he had no idea what he would even say to a woman he was not related to or married to. He needed to encourage this…not walk up, pick her up his bad back be damned, and carry her away….
He let her speak to that boy.
Not without him being there, of course, because it was his job as her father to protect her from suitors…unwanted suitors…and she would have many suitors. Who wouldn't have wanted to be on the arm of someone as intelligent, thoughtful, kind, soft, warm, and perfect as her? No, she would have suitors and he would….he would chase them away if they became unwanted….and then when she grew up and had her family he would move her away from any and all men so nobody could try and take her away….take advantage of her. He knew how men thought, he was a man, and he wasn't sure if he would be able to control himself and not murder any man who thought about debasing his Daughter….
But she was just a child, still, and he had a while before he had to worry about any of that.
"My name is Suzuki Shigeko. I'm here with my dad, we're not Russian, we're Japanese, but we travel a lot. What about you? I mean I can see those adults there and they look like you but are they your parents….I'm sorry, Alexei, that was dumb….." He heard her say in stilted but passable Russian. Well now that was a surprise…but then again the children did have a greater capacity for learning than he did. Her Russian was very good and he was proud of her for that….but he still wanted to throw her over his shoulder and carry her away….
But he settled for eavesdropping even though he knew that it was socially inappropriate.
"No it wasn't, your Russian is very good. Yes, that's my family. My mom and dad, my brothers Timofey and Viktor, and my sister Anastasia…named for the princess. I don't know why my mother had to name her after a dead person. Seems like a bad omen to me but what do I know? I'm only twelve so what I say, apparently, means nothing." Said the boy. Daughter giggled at that. Suzuki had no idea what she was giggling about and if it hadn't been socially unacceptable he would have told her to stop.
"That's funny…you're funny. Um…I have a brother too, he's called Sho, but he's not here. He's ten. I'm ten too but we're not twins. I'm almost eleven…um…almost eleven." Said Daughter. She was flushed bright red and playing with her hair…and he wanted to reach other with his powers and tear her hair from her grasp but he didn't trust them in that moment.
"So….how are you liking Russia? Must be very different from Japan." Said the boy
"Um…it is…but I like it a lot. I like…um…this place and the snow and….and chicken keivs. I like those a lot…um…I like Russia." Said Daughter. She was stuttering and red and…and he had never seen her like this before….and he did not like it one bit.
"Well on behalf of my country I would like to express my gratitude that you like the chicken." Said the boy. She giggled and she flushed bright red and he wondered if she planned on stopping that anytime soon.
"Um…have you ever been to Japan?" asked Daughter
"No, I've never even left Petersburg. I bet it's nice there. Especially if all the girls are as pretty as you." Said the boy. Suzuki wanted to drag Daughter away….but he knew that he needed to give her space to…to develop properly….but he did not like the way she was laughing or the way she was letting that boy talk to her or how flushed she was getting….and he was bad at reading people socially but he and Fukuda had spent hours going over the cues a girl gave when she liked you. Fukuda had even put on his mother's dress and hat and they acted out a date….and they maybe had gone a bit too far acting out that day…but the lesson had still sunk in.
"Um…thank you? I mean….um…..I forgot Russian…for a minute there. Sorry." giggled Daughter
"No, you're still speaking it and very well, too. Maybe you could teach me some Japanese, though, that way we could understand each other better." Said the boy
"Um…you want to keep talking to me?" asked Daughter
"Of course. I've never met a Japanese person before. The only things I know about your people is that you wear wooden sandals all the time and you love tea." Said the boy
"Um…we wear regular shoes….sorry." said Daughter even though she had nothing to apologize for. Suzuki had encountered that assumption time and time again. Why did the rest of the world still think that they wore geta? He would never understand that…just like he did not understand this. What he was seeing. She was too young for this? Right? Well there had been Hatori…and that mess with Shimazaki…so she was getting to that age….but he was not ready for her to get to that age.
"Oh, well I was right about the tea, wasn't I?" asked the boy
"Um…yes. We like tea…I mean I like tea…I mean…" said Daughter
"Well there's a teashop in the palace. They have little cakes and biscuits and things too. It may not be Japanese but I think you might like it….if you'd be willing to have a cup with me. My treat." Said the boy. Suzuki….was about to pick Daughter up and carry her away. No. Nope. None of that. She was too young and…and that boy was not an esper or Japanese and….and she was only ten. There. Those were socially acceptable reasons to pick her up, toss her over his shoulder, throw out his back, and carry her away.
"Um….I am kind of hungry…." Said Daughter. And that would be the last thing that she ever said to that boy.
"Daughter. Come along. Now." Said Suzuki in Japanese so he would not be misheard. He had her by the hand again. Daughter looked up at him. He looked down at her.
"….this is my dad…and he says that I have to go now….but it was nice meeting you….bye." said Daughter. That was the last thing she ever said to that boy. She walked beside him. He had her by the hand. Maybe he as walking a little too fast. Maybe he had her hand gripped too tightly in his. He didn't care. He wasn't going to let her say one more word to that boy. She was too young for all of that. She was too young to let herself be taken advantage of. She was too young to get mixed up in all of that. She was too young to even think about all of that.
"Dad? What's wrong? Where are we going? Why are we going? We just got here? Where are you walking me off to?" asked Daughter. Suzuki slowed down and then stopped. Where was he going? Right. He needed a destination. She had…she had said that she was hungry…so he would feed her. She liked chicken, she had said, and he knew a very nice place in St. Petersburg….better than some little tea shop…and that was where they were going.
"Lunch. You said that you were hungry. You're hungry so I'm going to feed you. Right now. Do not argue with me." Said Suzuki. He would eat something and she would eat something and then in the time that their meal took he would be able to emotionally regulate like normal again. There. That was a good plan.
"But I don't….I mean I was….yes, dad." Said Daughter. Good. No arguments from her. Compliance. He loved that about her. She so rarely fought him….which was so good because he so constantly gave in to her. He….would not have allowed her to continue speaking with that boy let alone to share a meal with him….because he was a man and he knew what that meant…but he so hated seeing her upset….
But he hated seeing her with another man, with a boy her age, even more.
He held out her coat. He had been carrying it for her. He had carried Masami coat for her a thousand times….even though he was perfectly capable of keeping her warm…and now he carried Daughter's. He held it out for her like he had held Masami's coat out for her a thousand times. Daughter looked at him confusedly for a moment before putting her arms through the arm holes. He turned her around and did her buttons.
"Dad….I can dress myself." Said Daughter
"I know you can but I want to dress you." Said Suzuki as he did her buttons. He usually used his powers for this but he was out in public. Time to look normal when he was out in public. He didn't mind doing this by hand for her. He didn't mind doing this at all for her. He loved her.
"…yes, dad. Whatever you want." Said Daughter. He reached into her pockets and put her hat on her head. It took a few tries to get it absolutely perfect but it was worth it when he did. There. Now her hair wouldn't be smashed down into her hat. Her gloves came next. She lifted her hands for him and he got them on, the ice queen on top and the snowflakes on the bottom just as they went, and then he even made sure that she had enough finger room as he'd seen her do a thousand times. There. Now she was perfect.
He took her hand in his, this time she said nothing, and they made their way back out into the cold that was Petersburg. It didn't matter that this was a cold and strange land. He had her by his side, he always would have her by his side, and that was what mattered the most of all.
Her little hand in his.