Title: No Kiss But A Stolen One
Author: Nemesis
Feedback: HP/SS, implied HP/DM
Rating: R
Summary: Harry's bored with his current lover. What – or rather, who – does he do to amuse himself? Written for the Dawn-To-Dusk Fuh-Q Fest Wave VIII (Sex and Sensuality Challenge).
Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me. Just borrowing it for a while. I doubt Rowling would ever make Snape and Harry have wild sex.
Archive: Dawn-To-Dusk Fuh-Q Fest
Beta: The ever-amazing Chrysos. Bless her.
"Potter, what do you want?" Snape demanded of the new DADA professor.
Harry grinned. "Not much, Snape." The look Harry was giving Snape made him feel like prey.
"I suppose that explains why you're leering at me," Snape commented nonchalantly.
"Well, not entirely."
"Potter, you already have a boyfriend," Snape snapped.
Harry nodded. "I know that. But… well, life with him's so tame, so… boring."
Snape raised an eyebrow. "Draco Malfoy is a boring person? Now this I don't believe."
Harry shrugged. "Believe it or not, it's true. Amidst other things, we have no sex life whatsoever. Kinda sucks."
"No sex life whatsoever?"
"Are you only capable of repeating word-for-word what I'm saying? Yes, no sex life whatsoever. And after awhile, one becomes fucking horny."
"Uh-huh," Snape answered noncommittally. "So just why are you standing here and talking to me?"
Harry shrugged. "I heard somewhere: 'There is no fun without sin, no kiss but a stolen one.' I guess I'm here to steal a kiss."
Snape narrowed his eyes. "I don't want to be your fuck-toy, Potter!" he snarled.
Harry advanced on Snape, who backed away until his back was against the wall. Harry continued forward until he was mere centimeters away from Snape.
"Oh, but I think you do, Severus," he purred.
"What would ever give you such an idea?" Snape snapped, still attempting to maintain some control of the situation.
"The flush that's gracing your cheeks right now, the lust that shines ever-so-bright in your eyes, the desire that's in your every move. You hate it that I'm with Dray, don't you? You want me for yourself – you always have."
"Egotistical little bastard," Snape growled. He tried to hide that it was entirely too true.
Harry shrugged. "Maybe I am. So fuck me."
"And just what makes you think I'd betray my godson like that?" Snape demanded. "I do care about him, you know. I couldn't stand hurting him like that."
Harry laughed. Snape loved the sound, but bit back any reaction to it. "Do you honestly think I'm the only one sick of our nonexistent sex life? Damn, Dray's been cheating on me for months now. I think he's the one who told me that little quote. Dunno where he got it. 'There is no fun without sin, no kiss but a stolen one.' He won't care if I have sex with someone else."
"No. You're with someone else. I'm not going to touch a person who's got a lover warming the bed and tending the house."
Harry laughed. "Dray doesn't do the tending the house thing."
"I'm not going to have sex with a person who's tied down," Severus insisted.
Harry grinned wickedly. "Ooh, but I love being tied down," he purred.
Severus' breath hitched in his throat.
"It's very exciting…" Harry continued softly.
Severus licked his lips suddenly, then found his well-hidden resolve and sternly told Harry, "No. I'm not going to have sex with you while you're with Draco. I don't want to."
Harry shrugged and leaned forward, leaving a chaste kiss on Snape's lips. "If you say so. Come find me when you can stop lying to yourself."
He walked out, leaving a very aroused and confused Snape behind.
"'There is no fun without sin, no kiss but a stolen one,'" Snape murmured, his fingers barely touching his lips.
The next day, Harry looked up from arranging his notes after his last class to see Snape standing in front of him.
"Just what brings you here?" Harry asked nonchalantly.
"I've come to steal a kiss," Snape answered softly.
Harry smiled. "It's yours," he murmured.
Snape leaned it slowly, half-wondering if he would regret it later.
deleted scene
"There is no fun without sin, no kiss but a stolen one," a voice murmured. Harry looked up to see Draco leaning against the door, intently watching them.
"Hey, Dray," Harry greeted warmly.
Severus blushed a deep red and tried to hide under the covers.
"I can't believe this," he muttered. "I get caught in bed with my godson's lover. By my godson."
Draco tossed his fair head back and laughed. "Severus, didn't Harry already tell you that we've been cheating on each other for months – years – now? He's caught me in bed with… oh, what's his name?"
Harry thought for a moment. "Oh! The really assholish guy from the Ministry!"
Draco pretended to be indignant. "I'll have you know that he happened to have a fine asshole. Very tight."
"What did I tell you? Assholish guy from the Ministry!"
They laughed while Severus threatened to spontaneously combust from embarrassment.
"Then, of course, I got caught with Seamus," Harry added.
"And I with Blaise."
"Then there was that brief interlude where we attempted monogamy," Harry said.
"Except we did it in public…"
"Right near the rose bushes outside of the castle…" Harry sighed dreamily.
"Under the full moon…"
"Near the stone benches…"
"And got caught," Draco laughed.
"By Albus and Minerva…"
"Who had the exact same idea!" Draco finished, both of them howling with laughter.
"After that, we decided polygamy was better…"
"After I caught you in bed with my father!"
"Well, you were doing a pathetic job, so your father decided to see how badly the Malfoy line had deteriorated."
"And?"
"He was a wonderful fuck, but so are you. If you bother to fuck me at all! Besides, you're not much better. I caught you in bed with Sirius and Remus. At the same time!"
"Hey, you can't take the moral high ground. You joined us!"
"True, true," Harry murmured.
"Then you got caught with Ron…"
"By you and Hermione, who wasn't as forgiving as you were."
"Well, I was in a great mood then. I had just finished being fucked through the mattress by…"
"If you say Crabbe and Goyle…"
"Well, it was!"
Severus managed to find his voice. "If you two are quite done," he managed to say.
"Oh, we still have about two and a half years of infidelity to get through," they said at the same time.
Severus moaned and dropped his head onto the pillow. "Do you two do this every time one of you is caught in bed with another?"
Harry shrugged. "Not every time. But we've done it before. It drives people nuts to know exactly how infidel we are."
"And we don't even mention all the people we were with! We don't get caught that often!"
"That thought alone makes me shudder violently," Severus answered icily.
Draco and Harry smiled.
"Perhaps we should try monogamy," Harry pondered.
"And have you break it again with my father?" Draco demanded.
"How many times have you been caught with Lucius?" Severus asked.
"Oh, several."
"At least ten," Draco added.
"Probably more," Harry contemplated.
Draco nodded.
"Anyway, when I don't break it with Lucius, you break it with Sirius and Remus. At least I've never fucked Narcissa!"
"You would if she weren't a woman!"
"Not necessarily."
"Uh-huh," Draco answered dubiously.
Harry glared. "Well, it's certainly not like you haven't had your fair share of lovers!"
"Didn't fuck my family members."
"Neither did I. My mom and dad are dead, and if you even think I would think of touching the Dursleys, you're an idiot!"
"Sirius and Remus?"
"Godparents, not relatives."
"So much better form, shagging one's godparents."
"Now, if you were to join us, you could be doing the same. Then, of course, we'd be even."
"We're never going to be even again! You've fucked my father!"
"True, true," Harry murmured. "And what a delicious fuck he was… is."
"That is far more than I need to know," Draco answered archly.
"I agree," Severus put in hastily. "Far too much."
"Who keeps telling me there is no fun without sin, no kiss but a stolen one?" Harry demanded.
"Yeah, but I never meant for you to shag my father!"
"Obviously. Although Lucius told me he taught you that quote himself."
"Please tell me he didn't tell you…"
"When you caught him in bed with McNair."
"Too late," Draco sighed. "Who are you having a relationship with? My father or me?"
"You. I just fuck your father on the side. Er… no pun intended."
Severus finally managed to pull himself together. "I am leaving," he announced.
"Why, Severus?" Draco asked. "The fun's just started."
Severus nodded dubiously. "This is not my idea of fun," he snapped. He turned to Harry accusingly. "You told me he wouldn't care if you had sex with someone else."
"And I don't mind at all. I just came from fucking Sirius and Remus again."
"And you guys didn't invite me!" Harry shrieked indignantly.
Draco laughed. "Not this time. Besides, you were busy with Severus. Oh, Severus?"
"Yes?" Severus asked with a hint of exasperation coloring his tone.
"If you're ever looking for some fun, the two of us would be happy to oblige."
Severus glared, then sighed. "I might just take you up on that. If you don't go through all of your past lovers again."
He quickly donned his clothes and swept out of the room.
Draco and Harry looked at each other and laughed.
"We will definitely have to get Severus in our bed again," Draco sighed.
"It's funny, though," Harry said.
"Mm?" Draco asked with a raised eyebrow.
"To see how many people we've screwed over the past five years."
"Often together."
"Well, not just. We're so unfaithful to each other…"
"And yet we love it."
Harry frowned. "Love what?"
"Everything. Our infidelity, our love affairs, our threesomes… foursomes, catching each other in bed with someone else, joining them…. Each other."
"Yeah."
"I s'pose that's life."
Harry smiled and leaned against the headboard, closing his eyes in thought.
"What are you thinking of, love?" Draco asked.
"How to get Severus to do this again."
Draco smiled wickedly. "I'll help."
Down in his dungeons, Severus contemplated on how to do it with both of them. He knew there would be another episode. He just didn't know when.
-- End.