Baby sis liked paper towel rolls.
Well she had liked them the last time Sho had seen her. She had been so happy to put her arm through them, She had laughed her little baby laugh and smiled her little baby smiles and she had licked her little baby legs she had been so happy…and he missed her so much….and he had missed her birthday too. That was why he was getting her all of these paper towel rolls. She liked them and she would be happy to have them to stick her arms through and…and then she might forgive him for not being around on her birthday
He hadn't forgotten, he just hadn't been around.
He had been on the other side of the world when her birthday had passed. She lived in Japan and he lived…well he lived everywhere…and he was still too little to just hop on a plane on his own and see her…so he had missed her first birthday. He had missed her first Christmas and her first birthday and she…she may have been mad at him…but maybe if he brought her enough empty paper towel rolls then she might have forgiven him. Then they could be friends. He just had to make sure that she understood that he hadn't forgotten her birthday. He was still a good big brother.
He was the best big brother ever.
Or at least he was trying to be. That was why he was unraveling all of these paper towels. He and Fukuda were in a house in Korea, he was too little to stay in a house on his own even though he was ten now, and in this house was a storage cabinet full of paper towels. Sho knew that if big sis had been there she would have told him not to be wasteful like that. She would have told him that those paper towels needed to stay on their rolls because otherwise they wouldn't be able to go on the paper towel holder in the kitchen. Well Sho already had a counterargument to that even though big sis was on her way to Australia or wherever. This wasn't wasteful because once he was done he planned on folding them back up and putting them in the cabinet where he had found them. There. Now if she tried to tell him to stop he could just tell her that he wasn't being wasteful and then-
Well there was no 'and then' because big sis wasn't there with him.
Big sis was off with everyone else. He was all alone…well Fukuda was there…but she was gone. The house was quiet, nobody was watching Frozen or Tangled or any of her other stuff. Her aura was gone too. No matter how much he spread his aura out he couldn't feel her…because she was far away. She was in one place and he was in another. She was gone and he was gone and they were both gone and they would be together again and he had no reason to feel like this but he did and-
And he unrolled the paper towels faster.
He was not a baby. He didn't need to have his big sis with him all the time. He was ten now and he could be away from her for a little while. He could be away from her and he would….he would be fine. He could take care of himself. He didn't need her to tell him when breakfast and lunch and dinner were ready. He didn't need her to draw him a bath and then check his hair to make sure that he had actually washed it even though she knew how much he hated getting his hair wet. He didn't need her to put him to bed at nine o'clock each and every night after reading him a story that he didn't need to hear because he could fall asleep just fine on his own. He was ten now and he didn't need anyone to take care of him.
He was fine.
He finished unrolling one roll and started up on another. Baby sis was going to love these. Yeah, he had to think about her. What kind of a big brother would he had been if he freaked out just because big sis wasn't there with him? No kind of big brother at all. Well he was her pretend big brother but that didn't matter. He still had to be a big kid for her. She looked up to him, and not just because she was very small, and he had to show her what she was supposed to be when she grew up….if she even remembered him….
He hoped that she still remembered him.
He hoped that she still remembered all the times that they had played together. He hoped that she could remember all the times where he had put a blanket over his head to trick into thinking that he had disappeared but then he took the blanket off of his head and she laughed….and she had been so happy to see him…and he hoped that she was happy to see him now. He hoped that she wasn't mad at him for missing her birthday. He hoped that she still liked to play with empty paper towel rolls. He hoped that she would still smile when she saw him. He hoped that she would still want to be his baby sis…even though she wasn't. Even though it was just for pretend….
Sho wasn't too old to play pretend.
He played pretend all the time. He pretended that he was ok even when he was so mad he wanted to just hit everyone around him. He pretended that he didn't have the swimmy feeling in his stomach whenever he thought about Shimazaki. He pretended that he still loved hanging out with Fukuda as much as he had when he'd been little. He pretended that he wasn't scared of dad. He pretended that he wasn't worried that one day dad would just have enough of him and just say 'fuck it' and decide that big sis could inherit the world and stuff even though she was a girl. He pretended that he was looking forward to seeing his girlfriend again, and he sort of was, but he pretended that he liked her as much as she liked him…
He played pretend a lot.
He was good at it. He should have been a professional pretend player. He was good at pretending and he was good at taking paper towels off of their rolls so that was what he was going to do. He unrolled them one sheet at a time and tried not to think of anything else besides how much fun baby sis was going to have with these. She was going to be so happy and he wanted nothing more than her happiness. She was his baby sister after all. His pretend baby sister…
But he was very good at playing pretend.
Like now. He pretended that he couldn't hear Fukuda's footsteps getting closer and he pretended that he couldn't feel Fukuda's aura pressing over onto him. He…he liked Fukuda a lot but right now he had stuff he had to do. Fukuda was one of the people that he had known the longest. He had always loved Fukuda and cared about him and stuff but….but Fukuda was still treating him like he was a little kid. He was always telling him what to do and stuff….and he didn't want to be told what to do and stuff. He was always trying to get Sho to play with him and spend time with him instead of his other friends…but that was just because Fukuda was lonely. Sho hadn't been able to see it when he had been little but Fukuda was super lonely and stuff so, of course, the nice thing to do would have been to have spent time with him and stuff. Like when he had been a kid. Back when he would have done anything to have been able to hang out with Fukuda like this….but now….
Now he mostly just wanted to be alone.
He wanted to get this done and then…he didn't know. He could draw something. He could draw a picture for baby sis, she would like that, and he could draw something for big sis too. He hadn't drawn her anything in a while. Her birthday was coming up. Maybe he could draw another picture of her hanging out with Elsa and Anna again. She had liked that. Yeah, he could put in the girl from Tangled, too, while he was drawing girl characters. She'd like that a lot…and he could draw baby sis a picture of the princess from the cauldron movie she liked…if she still liked that movie….and also he would draw something for Emmy too since he was drawing pictures for girls…
Yeah, he'd have to draw her something too.
He had a lot to do and he didn't have time to play with Fukuda. Maybe later. Sho wished that he would play on his own so he could put up a good game. Sho wasn't little anymore. Fukuda had been good at pushing him on the swings and playing menagerie and stuff like that. Sho was ten now and he liked videogames and stuff. Fukuda….he was bad at videogames. Very bad. Worse than big sis, even, and she let him win all the time. Sho just…did not want to play with someone who couldn't even remember the buttons…and stuff…
Which was not a mean way to think at all.
If someone couldn't do something then they couldn't do something. That was why he never got sad that Shimazaki couldn't play videogames with him….even though Sho got the feeling that he would have been really good at Mortal Kombat…or at least he would have really liked it. Shimazaki couldn't play anything that relied on a screen but they had fun together. They played outside a lot. Fukuda wasn't good at laying outside because he couldn't teleport and got all scared when Sho climbed trees and picked up wild animals and stuff. Shimazaki never got worried. Not even that time when they had found that family of skunks and Shimazaki had thought that they were cats because they felt like cats to him…but they hadn't been cats….
And then the tomato sauce baths….
Fukuda would never have let him do that. So it was ok for him to wish that Shimazaki had been coming towards him, not Fukuda. It was ok for him to wish that it was him and Shimazaki all alone in this house in Korea. It was ok for him to wish that he and Shimazaki were all alone and hanging out…and also…also stuff that he knew that it was not ok to wish for. Stuff that he knew that Shimazaki knew that he wanted. He wished that he had never kissed Hideki…well no he didn't…but also he did! Because if he and Hideki had never kissed at that stupid party then he never would have known how good kissing could be and he never would have even thought about kissing another boy and…and then he wouldn't be in the mess he was in now!
He ripped the paper towels on accident.
"Sho? What are you…doing?" asked Fukuda. He had unpacked, gotten settled in, and had been about to see what Sho wanted for dinner…or lunch….or whatever meal this was going to be for them. He hadn't expected to see a mountain of paper towels on the floor and a pile of paper towel holders….but this was….ok. It wasn't like he had made an actual mess and it wasn't like he had never done this before. He had loved unrolling paper towel rolls when he had been about two or three. He had been so cute then. He wasn't cute now, no, all he looked like now was a vaguely pissed off little boy…but that was normal for him these days.
Unfortunately.
There was a lot in his life for him to be upset over. His father, his sister, his lack of a mother, the no doubt very confusing crush he had on a man three times his age, and the upset to his internal clock that this move had done. Well that was ok. Fukuda could handle this. He could handle whatever Sho threw at him, and thankfully he wasn't throwing anything so it was already going well. He wasn't shouting, either, or kicking holes in the wall. So he was doing better…well he had been doing well for a while now. Ten was a good year for him in terms of his anger issues. He was finally growing out of it. Thank God.
Fukuda hadn't been sure how much more of angry Sho he could take.
"Getting the paper towels off of these rolls for baby sis. She likes these and I missed her birthday….and Christmas….and I hope that she's not mad at me." Said Sho. He hoped that Fukuda wasn't going to go off on him for being wasteful…even though he wasn't being wasteful at all it just looked like he was.
"Right. Mukai had a birthday." Said Fukuda. He had almost forgotten…was that why Suzuki had been so…off kilter….lately? He had been off since Fukuda had brought him the baby…and Fukuda didn't blame him. It had to have been Earth shattering to find out that he was responsible for another human being's existence…but that was why they had invented safe sex. That baby was Suzuki's fault….well him and that woman…but that still might have been what had sent him running to his Daughter…..his adopted Daughter….
Well there was nothing that Fukuda could do about that.
Suzuki did not want to take responsibility for the baby and Fukuda didn't want to make him take responsibility for the baby. Suzuki had already messed up two kids already. What did he need a third one for? The baby was better off with its new mother…and Sho…well Sho loved her and he wasn't about to keep Sho from his sibling….even though one day he would figure it out. He would notice that his so called 'pretend' sister looked almost exactly like him. Red hair. Blue eyes. Red aura. Freckles. All if those very rare and very distinctive features that he had gotten from his father…
And that would not be a fun conversation for anyone involved.
"Yeah, she's one now. That's why I'm doing this for her. She likes these a lot and if I give her a lot of them then she won't be mad at me for missing her birthday and Christmas and stuff. We can play or something later. Right now I have to finish doing this and then I have to wrap them up for her to open and stuff. This should be enough to make up for Christmas and her birthday and stuff." Said Sho
"You know she's only a year old, right?" asked Fukuda. Sho was thinking way too much into this. She was a baby. She didn't even know what a birthday was.
"Yeah, I know. The note that came with her said when her birthday was. It's not like I forgot her birthday. I would never forget a birthday." Said Sho
"Really? When's mine?" asked Fukuda. Did Sho remember? He didn't have to. It would have bene nice if he did but Fukuda wouldn't have minded if he didn't know. He was only ten after all. He wasn't Shigeko. She always made a big deal out of birthdays. She liked people to like her. She was more of a carrot to Suzuki's constant use of the stick. It was ingenious, really, playing the part of the sweet little girl to secure Claw from right under her father. She did play it a little too heavy, though, especially around birthdays. She had been trying to get him to her side for a while now. He was useful to her as a healer. Well he would join her after Suzuki died and only if he decided to scrap his plans for his bloodline and have her inherit the world….not that there was a chance that it would happen. Not unless he married her or something….which Fukuda would definitely talk him out of if the thought ever crossed his head. He knew the mental gymnastics Suzuki was capable of. He knew that the thought could pop into his mind, the memory of the fact that she had been adopted, and he knew that if Suzuki ever let himself think like that….well…something would have to be done and Fukuda would be the man to have to do it…as usual.
"March seventeenth. You're turning forty four." Said Sho. He had already done Fukuda's birthday drawing and gotten him one of those big chocolate bars he liked. Dad had a birthday coming up too but he didn't care about that. He would throw a card together for him and then that would be the end of it. Sho didn't even care if dad liked it or not. What was the point? He only cared about big sis anyway. Sho was just that kid who lived in the house with him.
"Wow. You actually remembered." Said Fukuda. He hadn't expected Sho to remember. That wasn't normally the thing that a ten year old would have been expected to know. Well Shigeko knew everyone's birthdays but she was a little information banker. When Fukuda had been ten he hadn't even been fully aware that the adults around him even had birthdays.
"Of course I did! I'm not my dad! I can remember someone's stupid birthday!" said Sho. He threw the paper towels that he had been holding on the ground and then dove under the kitchen table. He was mad, he wanted to kick the walls, he wanted to hit Fukuda, but most of all he didn't want to be anything like dad. Dad hit people when he got mad. That was wrong and Sho…he was not going to be that person anymore. He was not going to hit Fukuda. He was not going to kick a hole in the wall. He was going to do what the book had said. Minegishi may have been a jerk but they had been….they had been nice when they gave him that book. It was a good book and it was good….it was good for teaching him things….
Like how counting could help him calm down.
"Sho….I didn't mean anything by that…"said Fukuda. He crouched down by the table. He was unsure of what else he could do. Sho was doing that thing where he hid, closed his eyes, and started counting. He had started doing that a few months ago in an effort to calm down. Fukuda didn't know how he felt about that. On the one hand Sho had some very real anger issues that he needed to move past but on the other this was very close, scarily close, to the emotional exorcism thing he knew Suzuki did. His powers were tied to his emotions and that was why it was better for everyone if he kept a hold of himself…
And Sho was his father's son.
But he was not his father. Sho's control had been a hell of a lot better than Suzuki's had ever been. He didn't need to exorcise his emotions because it didn't seem like his powers were tied to them. He just had to learn how to control his anger. That was all. Fukuda…he had no idea what he was supposed to do to help Sho beyond just being there for him. He had so many very real reasons to be angry at the world. He was just a kid and he had to deal with his father's neglect and favoritism of his sister, his own new feelings that he couldn't understand, his lack of a mother….all of it. Sho had to deal with all of that at he age of ten…
And Fukuda had no clue what he could do for him but just be there.
"Hey….Sho? I didn't mean that you had forgotten her birthday. I just meant that….a one year old baby has no idea when her birthday even is…or even what a birthday is. That's all." said Fukuda. He got as close as he could without getting into kicking range, Sho tended to kick. He didn't seem like he would kick now, though. He opened his eyes and stopped counting.
"So…so she isn't mad at me?" asked Sho. Right. She was just a baby. They didn't know a lot of things. He hadn't even known what his birthday was until he was four. He sort of remembered his third birthday but he hadn't known that there would be another birthday and another and another until he was four. So baby sis didn't know when her birthday was or even what a birthday even was….so he was ok.
"No, she's one…and I think that your idea about the paper towels rolls….it's a good one but how about we get her a real toy, too, since you can never have too many presents. Am I right?" asked Fukuda. He didn't really want to spend his time unrolling paper towels but he wanted to be there for Sho. Ok, birthdays were a thing now. He had some feelings around birthdays and….and of course he did. His own father had forgotten his birthday….Sho was such a good person not wanting to put anyone through that.
Fukuda was so proud of him.
"Yeah….you're right….now help me finish. Baby sis may not know when her birthday is but I do and I am so late!" said Sho as he climbed out from under the table. He couldn't let himself get upset, not now, because he had a job to do. He had to be there for baby sis and he had to get her a good present. She deserved all the best things…and she would have them….the things that she thought were best….
Like paper towel rolls. She loved paper towel rolls.