Alexis found herself in a state of crisis, pouring a cup of coffee for the man she loved had proven to be more difficult than she'd originally planned, her eyes fixated on the rich dark liquid as it fell into the mug below, placing the pot back on it's burner, she picked up the mug and brought it to her nose, the abundant aroma filling her senses…maybe just one taste for old times sake.
"Don't even think about it"
Sonny's stern warning voice could be heard behind her, he stepped closer reaching around to pull the mug out of her resistant hand.
With her back still to Sonny she stuck her tongue out and made a face, not realizing Sonny was leaning forward frowning at her, she jumped in surprise at being caught in the act," one sip wouldn't hurt, you know."
"We both know what would happen after that, one sip would lead to another, then another, uh I think it's best you stay away from the stuff all together." Sonny said, setting the mug on the counter, deciding this would be the best time to talk to Alexis about health management, that is until she cut him off.
"Listen, I have control of my urges more than I can say for you Sonny," Alexis replied, growing nervous as Sonny's eyes shifted into dangerous territory," personally, I don't care what you think, this is my decision and if I want coffee, I'll drink coffee!"
Reaching up, Alexis pulled out a mug and realized this had little to do with his request and everything to do with avoiding the idea he'd soon be gone and she'd be without him once again.
He let her get as far as reaching for the mug, before extending his hand out to grab hers, turning her to face him, he backed her up to the counter and pinned her between his arms, searching her face, " you wanna tell me what this is really about?"
"It's about coffee and your incessant need to control me," Alexis retorted trying to ignore his pleading eyes," stop looking at me like that!"
"How am I looking at you Alexis" Sonny spoke softly, his voice husky, "as far as me trying to control you, I don't think that's possible… not that it's not fun trying."
"So you admit it!" Alexis exclaimed
"I admit the idea of seeing how far I can push you is a turn on," Sonny grinned at her shocked expression," come on, you know it… we're constantly dancing around who can control who."
"I never tried to control you!" Alexis said defiantly.
"No, I guess you didn't… but you tried to manipulate me into doing the right thing or teaching me how to wait, or asking me to go against my code."
"I find it insulting that you'd believe my attempts at friendship were in someway to manipulate you, the only thing I ever did was believe that there was more to you than a cold blooded killer… that wasn't a manipulation Sonny, that was desperation, I didn't want to see you do something that you'd live to regret."
"I always seem to say the wrong things to you… words have never been my strong suite, whether you were manipulating me or not… I wouldn't take any of it away, my memories are vivid, I carry them with me everyday."
Looking away, Alexis was unable to grasp the meaning behind Sonny's words, as much as she'd wanted to believe they were true, she was still hesitant, " then why did you leave me… you said you chose me, but in actuality you only used me."
Sonny stepped closer to Alexis, so close he could feel the soft swell of her belly against his, "I never want to hear that again Alexis," Sonny reached up cupping his face in his hand, " I don't know how to prove to you that I chose you that night, but lets be clear that I was planning to have you in my life as long as you'd have me… my future was summed up, would it have been a picnic, hell no my life isn't cut out like that… and it proved true didn't it… I screwed up, I believed my obligation was with Carly and Michael… there's no way that I can change what I've done, but I promise you this one thing Alexis and this is one I can keep, I will spend the rest of my life proving that you are my heart."
"I wish I could believe you Sonny… it used to be so easy to believe you… my heart believes you… but my mind can't forget the images, the abandonment of a friendship I cherished, and the hurt you caused the people I love most."
Sonny was silent, taking her hand he guided her through the kitchen into the living room, she sat down expecting him to sit down beside her, but he moved toward the window, looking out into the fall sky.
"Here's the truth Alexis… if Alkazar had never become a threat… if Kristina had never… if she'd never died, I'd still be with Carly, even though I knew she decieved us, I'd still be with her, trying to make the decisions I made work… I'm not saying it's right, but I needed to tell you that."
"I'd still be lying to you about the baby," Alexis admitted, "we both made mistakes… you aren'talone in that… I don't want you to think I'm trying to throw the blame solely on you… I was scared, and angry that my best friend who I thought I knew better than myself changed before my eyes… you weren't the same man I met three years ago at the Port Charles Grille."
"You hated who I was them, so what's the difference?" Sonny replied.
"The difference is… I didn't hate you Sonny, I found you smug and cocky… there's a difference between being full of one's self… or being a ruthless bully who hurts those that love him and that's who you turned into… that's the man I could no longer identify with." Alexis got up and approached him.
"I should've pursued you then…I thought about it." Sonny said regretfully, reaching up to rub his chin."
"Well, you did pursue me, as your mouthpiece… I wanted to haul off and slap you that day in Mac's office, still gets my blood boiling."
"There's that spark…that's what I love about you Alexis, all that fire in you," he grinned and wrapped an arm around her bringing her to his side, "how do I make you feel Alexis?"
"For the most part, you exasperate me," Alexis said giving him a sideways glance," but all in all, you make me feel loved… in only a way you can."
"I do love you Alexis," Sonny's voice became hoarse with emotion, " give me a change to show you and our daughter how much I love you both."
"I might just take you up on that offer," Alexis replied gently, "how long will you be gone?"
Sonny sighed and looked out the window, " I'm hoping everything will be wrapped up within the month… the idea of leaving you is driving me crazy, but it can't be helped.
"You know I do understand, it's business it can't be helped."
"You know I'd tell you if I could, but your still an officer of the court and I will always be tied to the mob, there's no going back for me."
"I know… it's not that I like it… it's not that I even want it in my life, but it's who you are and I for some unimaginable reason have decided to tolerate a mob boss… of all people to tolerate it had to be a crime lord, with a knack for cooking and great taste in clothes."
Cupping her face in his palm, Sonny pulled her in for a kiss, a slow deep, earth shattering kiss, and was surprised a her hungry response as she wrapped her arms around his waist.
"Did you say it Alexis?" Sonny asked breathlessly breaking the kiss," did those words come out of your mouth?"
"What words were those Sonny, I say a lot of things," Alexis smiled lazily up at him, her mouth inches from his, still swollen from their last kiss.
"Tell me again how you feel about me."
"Sonny Corinthos, you are without a doubt the most egotistical, sexist, condescending, selfish, unbearable man I know…with all that said… you are the man that carries my heart."
"How'd it happen that this beautiful, smart, sexy woman wants me?" Sonny said looking to the heavens and then back down into the warm pools that started back at him with full affection.
"Beat's me, I went from loathing you, to liking you, to caring for you and then one day I tolerated you… that pretty much sums it up."
"Loving you Alexis, is something I'm proudest of… I'm proud to love you."
"And Sonny, I'm proud to tolerate you, Alexis replied back, only to be silenced with a soul searing kiss.