So, finally the next chapter. It took me so long because I couldn´t think of something funny. This one is funny, but in a very very dirty way. So if you don´t like dirty, or you´re not 16, please just read until the "!" comes. And please review!
Chapter 24: Rather loud... blackmailing
"Hey you" Lorelai said two hours later when she walked towards Luke who was sitting on the couch with a beer and a sleeping Sara in his lap.
"And you found Rory?" Luke asked her.
"No, just Logan. He said Rory got kidnapped by some of her DAR friends. You got finally rid of Shirley? I swear if she will hit on you again, I´m gonna pull out her ugly blond hair and her false teeth!" Lorelai told him, what caused him to grin.
"She tried to make friends with Sara here, but she wasn´t impressed. She kept babbling about how William pulled off the head of her Barbie, but Shirley didn´t understand a word, so no success. Where are William and Laila?"
"Laila is asleep in Rory´s bedroom and William is with dad, who shows him around, while our son is charming the ladies. I wonder where he got that from!" she smiled and sat down next to him.
"I´m tired! When are we allowed to leave?" Luke asked.
"I don´t know. I think not before the last guest left. I´m exhausted, too. Being nervous, jealous, then angry and finally proud and happy wore me out."
"Why were you jealous?"
"Because this stupid bitch Shirley flirted with my man in front of me and then tried to make friends with my kids."
"But I did not flirt with her. So why did you have to be jealous?"
"I didn´t have to be jealous, I was jealous. It just happened."
"Crazy Lady!" Luke smiled and pulled her to him. He placed the beer on the table before she leaned her head against his shoulder and he kissed her forehead.
"Mommy, Daddy!" William said about two hours later when all the guests were finally gone.
"Psst, William, let them sleep!" Richard told the boy on his arm.
"Richard? Richard? Where are you? The caterers finally left and the cleaning staff is nearly finished. And the left-overs are in the kitchen and..."
"Psst, grandma!" William made when Emily entered the room. Emily walked over to them and stood in front of the sofa, looking down at Luke, Lorelai and Sara, who were all asleep.
"We need to wake them up, this is not comfortable." Emily said after some seconds looking at her daughter.
"Maybe you´re right, Emily. William do you want to wake them?" Richard smiled.
"Uhuh" he nodded and Richard placed him on the ground.
"Daddy! Daddy! Wake up!" he said loudly and tugged on Luke´s arm.
" Mmmh, let me sleep Will! Go back to bed!" Luke mumbled.
"Mommy!" William tried it now with Lorelai.
"Evil child, go back to bed!" she muttered and snuggled closer to Luke, who buried his face now in her hair.
"Mommy, daddy!" William yelled now.
"What does he want? Make him leave! I wanna sleep! Tired... he... bedroom... love ya!" Lorelai mumbled into Luke´s chest.
"Always me... love ya too!" Luke muttered and kissed her on the hair before he slowly opened his eyes.
"Oh god!" he said loudly and sat up when he looked into Richard´s and Emily´s faces and realized that they were still on the couch on his in-law´s living-room.
"What?" Lorelai said, opened her eyes and looked around. She lifted her hands and hid her face behind them.
"No,no,no,no. I can´t believe it! No,no,no,no!" she muttered. Then she took her hands away and looked at her parents who were grinning.
"Mum, Dad, I´m so sorry! We ´re so sorry! We never meant to fall asleep during your party. Believe me, I´m really sorry!" Then she turned towards Luke who was starring at his shoes, very embarrassed.
"And you! Why did you let me fall asleep? Why are you so comfortable! Couldn´t you wear an uncomfortable shirt and not this soft, blue one? Or why don´t you have a flower in your dress jacket? One with thorns? Shame on you Mr. Danes!" she ranted.
"Now this is my fault? Who snuggled up against me? I never forced you to! And then you started stroking my neck! You know how sleepy that makes me!" he said back, but was even more embarrassed when he remembered Emily´s and Richard´s presence.
"Stop arguing you two! You will wake up Sara! Why don´t you go upstairs and sleep in your old bedroom? Laila is already in Rory´s room and William and Sara can sleep there also, the bed is big enough!" Emily told them, still amused.
"No, thank you Emily but I think we should drive home." Luke said still with a red face.
"Luke it´s snowing outside, the girls are asleep and you are also tired. It would be irresponsible to drive back now." Richard said. Luke looked at Lorelai who was also standing now and yawned, then lay her head on his shoulder.
"Well...uhm...maybe you´re right. Maybe we should spend the night just this once." Luke stammered.
"Wonderful! I will tell Alberta to put on new sheets!" Emily smiled and hurried towards the kitchen.
"Ok, then I think we will tug these two here in" Lorelai smiled, confused about her mother´s outburst and grabbed Luke´s hand before they walked upstairs with Sara and William on their arms.
"Good night, my boy! Sleep well!" Lorelai said to William and kissed him.
"Night Mommy!" he answered sleepily.
"Night Will! And keep an eye on your sisters tomorrow morning!" Luke told him and also kissed him. He held out his hand to Lorelai and pulled her up, off the bed.
"Come on, let´s go to bed. God, I´m so tired!" Luke yawned when they walked out of the room.
"There you are! Alberta is finished in your room. Breakfast will be at eight tomorrow, like always, and your nightgowns are all washed so you can wear one of them if you want. Luke I lay out one of Richard´s pajamas for you. Good night you two!" Emily smiled overjoyed and kissed both Luke and Lorelai on the cheek. They stood there stunned for some seconds and watched Emily walk into her bedroom at the end of the corridor.
"I will not wear one of your father´s pajamas!" Luke said then and made a disgusted face. Lorelai giggled.
"Well, be happy you don´t have to wear one of my mothers nightgowns! Although that would be very funny! I would take a picture and then you could never threaten me anymore, because I could blackmail you into anything I would want you to do."
"Like that isn´t the case right now!" he muttered and placed his hand on her lower back and pushed her towards the bedroom door.
"So,you mean that you do everything I ask you to? I don´t think so! What when I asked you this one time to paint my toenails? You refused! Or when I wanted to paint our bedroom pink? You refused! Or, or when I wanted to dress you up as a ballerina on Halloween? No such luck! So don´t lie to me here!" Lorelai rambled while he pushed her towards the bedroom, opened the door, pushed her in, and closed the door.
"Or when I wanted my own cinema in our cellar? Did not happen! A pink sparkling Christmas tree? No! You wearing Tweety shorts? Uh-uh! Go with me to a Karaoke-bar? No way!Or when ..."
"Would you shut up already? I´m tired, I wanna get ready for bed and sleep!" Luke said annoyed.
"I just want to prove you wrong! Ha, and remember when I wanted you to be my love slave for whole week-end? Or christen our kitchen? Watch an adult film and then make out in the living room? Do it in your boat in the garage?" she went on while they both undressed.
"And the quickie here in this room during a Friday night dinner? Never happened!" she still wasn´t finished. Luke turned around, lifted her up, before she could react and threw her on the bed.
"Aaaa!Luuuke!" she yelled and laughed.
He climbed in the bed beside her and covered them both with the blanket, turned off the light, then turned on his stomach and closed his eyes.
"No way you are going to sleep now!" Lorelai said and pulled his pillow out from under his head, then hit him in the face with it until he grabbed her arm and held it.
"Stop that!" he said.
"But I´m not tired anymore!" she grabbed her own pillow and hit him in the face with it again. Suddenly Luke turned around and pinned both of her arms against the bed and lay on top of her.
"You know exactly that you could make me do absolutely everything." he smiled.
"Is that so?" she smiled back
"You know it is!" he whispered and kissed her. Her hands tangled in his hair and she pulled him closer, parting his lips with her tongue. After some seconds she pulled away, though.
"So I finally get my quickie in here?" she grinned.
"I wouldn´t bet on a quickie!" Luke grinned back and then kissed her again.
"Richard, what are wearing?" Emily asked her husband fifteen minutes later when he came out of the bathroom.
"My pajama." he shrugged.
"But that is the pajama I lay down on Lorelai´s bed for Luke" Emily told him.
"Oh, I thought the maid forgot it there and took it with me when I closed the windows." Richard explained and lay down.
"But Luke won´t have anything to wear now. I will bring him another pajama." Emily said and opened Richard´s drawer.
"Emily, you don´t want to go into their room right now!" Richard said.
"Why not? He needs something to sleep in. He will be thankful"
"Emily, Lorelai isn´t a child anymore. And he probably won´t need anything to sleep in!"
"Richard why would he.." Emily trailed of when Richard raised his eyebrows.
"Oh no, they wouldn´t! That´s just ... no, certainly not!" she said then and left the room with a pajama in her hands. She walked down the corridor fast. Richard followed her.
"Emily! Emily!" he hissed, but she went straight to Lorelai´s room. She quietly opened the door, because she thought of the possibility that they would already be asleep. The room was dark, like the corridor and Richard stood behind her. Before Richard could close the door or Emily could walk in, they heard their daughter and their son in- law.
"Oh right there! Yes!Oooh Luuuke!" Lorelai moaned loudly and Richard opened his eyes in shock and stared at Emily.
"Oh god!" Luke groaned. Richard and Emily still stood at the same place, staring at each other.
"Luke that tickles! Stop ! Luuke!Ooooaah!" Lorelai suddenly laughed, then moaned.
Emily snapped out of her shock and slammed the door shut. She heard both Luke and Lorelai scream in surprise. She grabbed Richard´s hand and ran with him back to their own bedroom and slammed this door shut, too.
"Oh my god!" Lorelai yelled when she heard her bedroom door shut.
"Who was that? William?" Luke yelled back and rolled off of her and turned on the lamp on the table beside the bed. Seconds later they heard another door slam shut. Luke stared at Lorelai.
She first started grinning, then erupted in laughter. She tried to say something, but every time she started to laugh again. Tears came to her eyes and then rolled on her cheeks, while Luke was just staring at her, waiting for her to calm down.
When she finally calmed down a bit she pulled Luke closer and pressed her forehead against his chest. Her laughter stopped as abruptly as it had started and with a red face she looked up at Luke.
"It must have been my parents. Or one of them. It was their bedroom-door!" she told him. His eyes got so huge that Lorelai thought they would pop out any second. There were so many shades of red on Luke´s face that she couldn´t count them anymore.
"Oh my god!" he mumbled and ran his right hand over his face.
"No, oh my parents!" Lorelai started to grin again.
"Lorelai, this is not funny. I can never look them in the eye again. I mean they saw us... while we were... ah jeez!" he said and shook his head.
"Luke, I´m sure they didn´t see anything. It was pitch-black in here. I mean you couldn´t see anything that´s why it tickled so bad when you... with your hand... well ... They couldn´t see us. But I´m sure they heard us."
"And that´s better?" he asked.
"I would say absolutely! Yes! I mean I wouldn´t want my parents to see when your..."
"Stop that sentence right there!" Luke interrupted her. Lorelai started to laugh again.
"Why do you think that´s funny? I mean this is even more embarrassing than when they caught us on the beach on our honeymoon. Then it were strangers and we never had to see them again, but these are your parents! Would you stop laughing!" he said annoyed.
"Luke... it´s just... just..." she took a few deep breaths before she could talk again.
"You know, this is the first time I do it in here and I get caught. I mean, I did so many forbidden things and I not once got caught. When I would have done it then, it certainly would have gone unnoticed. But now with my husband... be happy we weren´t on the balcony or the neighbors and my parents would have caught us for sure! I mean how strange is that. And it´s funny because we are married and not teenagers anymore. I mean they can´t yell at us. My father can´t beat you up and my mother can´t ground me. And then, not long ago we talked about that parents get caught by their kids, but here in the crazy Gilmore world, it´s the other way round. And when I think of the breakfast tomorrow morning, there are so many funny moments to come that I can´t decide on my favorite! I think we should film it" she started to laugh again.
"Emily, I told you not to walk into that room. Why wouldn´t you listen to me?" Richard asked.
"Because I couldn´t imagine that our daughter lost even that last part of her manners! Doing it under our roof with her little children just a few feet away... and then that loud! If they are always that loud they certainly wake up the whole house every time! I´m a loss for words, Richard. What are we going to do?" Emily ranted and paced in their bedroom.
"What do you want to do? There is nothing we can do!"
"They will never sleep in that room together again! They will get separate rooms!"
"Emily, they are married!"
"I know that they are married, but that is no excuse for such a behavior. I don´t even wanna think about what he did that she started laughing and screaming!"
"Did you ever think about the fact that they have three children who aren´t a year apart? That certainly indicates that they are... pretty active"
"Richard!" Emily shrieked
When Lorelai was finished laughing she rolled onto her side and looked at Luke.
"Luke, do you think they will come back?"
"I hope not!" he groaned and also rolled on his side to face her.
"Then, Mr. Danes I think we should finish what we started. I´m lying here pretty unsatisfied and can´t sleep!" she grinned and to her surprise Luke obliged without another word.
A knock on the door woke them up the next morning.
"Mr. And Mrs. Danes? Mrs. Gilmore ordered me to tell you that breakfast will be ready in half an hour."
"Thank you!" Lorelai groaned. Luke who was spooning her, kissed her shoulder and sat up.
"We should get up and take a quick shower. The kids will be up any second." He sat up and got out of the bed.
"You obviously can´t wait to see my parents again, hon´!" she giggled and smacked his butt.
"You know I though about it and I think it´s not our fault. I mean we are a married couple and whoever it was should at least have knocked", he said and picked up his clothes from the floor.
"Remind me after the shower to take a camera with me! I want the scene on tape when you tell´em that!" she laughed and also got out of the bed. Luke just rolled his eyes and walked in the bathroom.
Twenty minutes later Luke peeked out of the room and when he saw that the floor was empty he walked to Rory´s bedroom.
"Morning daddy!" William yelled and ran towards Luke with a shirt around his head, so he could hardly see anything. Richard was kneeling on the floor, trying to get Williams shirt over the boy´s head.
"Good morning!" Luke smiled and pulled the shirt over Williams head.
"Good morning !" Richard and Luke both mumbled at the same time when they had looked at each other and then both looked away as fast as possible, neither knew were to look at.
"Daddy, not wet!" Laila smiled, climbed off the bed and hugged Luke´s leg.
"No wet diaper this morning! That´s great sweety. But do you need to go to the bathroom now?" he asked her and stroked his hand over her curls. She nodded.
"Me, too basroom! Not wet" Sara said and jumped off the bed.
"Wow, I´m so proud of you two! Then let´s go to the bathroom. Will, what´s with you?"
"Yes. But I go after them!" he stuck his hands in the pockets of his trousers.
"Okay, wait here, I´ll be right back." Luke picked up Sara and Laila and walked into the bathroom with them, glad that he could leave the room.
"Good morning Mom!" Lorelai greeted Emily downstairs in the dining-room.
"Good morning Lorelai!" Emily replied coldly. Lorelai stared at her, waiting for her to say something, but then rolled her eyes when she felt that Emily really seemed to be angry.
"Okay, let´s break right through that. From your tone I assume it was you who walked into my old bedroom last night?"
"Your father took the pajama I lay out for your husband. I wanted to bring him another one. But obviously he didn´t need it!" she scoffed.
"That was really nice of you, but it never occurred to you that knocking might be a possibility?" Lorelai got defensive and crossed her arms in front of her chest.
"It is our house, so why should we knock?"
"We? So dad was there, too? Great!"
"There is no reason for you to raise your voice or to get angry. We would have the right to do that, not you!"
"Mom, are you serious? You are angry with me because I was sleeping with my husband?" Lorelai asked, still standing beside the table.
"I´m not angry because you were sleeping with your husband, but because you had sex with him, under our roof, in your old bedroom, rather loud, a few feet away from your children!"
"A few feet away? Mom, they were in another room down the hall! At home Will´s room is right next to our bedroom."
"Then I just hope that he´s a deep sleeper! With all that yelling!" Emily mumbled.
"Mom, god, I can´t believe I´m having this conversation with you! Where is Luke? Anyway: I´m sorry that you opened the door when we were in that... possition. But I don´t assume that you saw something...?"
"God, no!"
"Good, that means that you just heard us. Look, mom, why aren´t you just happy that we are still so crazy about each other and enjoy... consuming our marriage so much. See it that way! And about being loud... I think that runs in the family!" she grinned, a glint came to her eyes and Emily´s chin nearly hit floor.
"What... when...?" she stammered and blushed.
"When I was sneaking out at night as a teenager I sometimes heard some things... I think nearly the same things you heard last night. But not just once and sometimes very... detailed. So if you try to rub Luke´s nose in it or embarrass him during breakfast or any other time I will give you and dad a full audition of what I heard then and what is haunting me till this day. Luke is embarrassed enough and I don´t intend to live in celibate for the next twenty years." Lorelai grinned and Emily narrowed her eyes.
"I won´t say anything. Let´s just forget about it!" she said then and grabbed a roll, avoiding Lorelai´s eyes.
"I think I´m gonna go and help Luke with the kids", Lorelai grinned and walked back upstairs.
TBC Review please!