The world was a very strange place sometimes.

It could be strange in ways that Mob had never thought possible. Like the times when she caught dad drinking ketchup when he thought nobody was all alone. That had been strange. Or like the time she had caught Shimazaki chewing on a candle for the first time…well not caught because he had just pulled a candle from his pocket and gotten to chewing. That had been strange at the time. There had also been the first time she had seen Sho take apart a piece of pizza because he didn't like all the parts touching. That had been strange but she had gotten used to it eventually because he was her most favorite little brother in the world, she only had one little brother but the world was full of other people's little brothers and out of all of those little brothers Sho was her favorite. Her favorite friend could even be strange too. Like how Minegishi seemed to really hate sugar but then could drink a whole two liter of orange soda at once when they smoked together or like how they said that manga was not actual books but then they got Mob a Sailor Moon compendium….or also how they said that they were sick of anime but now they had put on the Sailor Moon show from when they had been little….

The world could be very strange sometimes.

Her friends could be very strange people sometimes…but that was ok because they were her friends and she loved them all very much. They loved her too and everyone loved everyone else. That was why she was sitting on the couch with her best friend eating a waffle cake made by her other friend while another one of her friends was laying down on the ground listening to the TV with her and her best friend. Everyone loved everyone else….and she knew that she loved her friends even though they could be very strange sometimes. She loved her friends even though they could be very strange sometimes.

She loved Hatori even though he could be her strangest friend of all.

"Somebody narrate. I have no idea what's going on. Do you have any idea how weird it is to hear dialogue and sound effects and have no idea what the hell is happening?" asked Shimazaki from his space on the floor. This was another one of those lazy days…and he hated those lazy days. The President had woken him up at some crazy hour of the morning just to tell him that he wasn't needed that day….which was like the day before that and the day before that. He wasn't exactly itching to spend hours and hours at Suzuki's side but boredom and Shimazaki…they went together about as well as toothpaste and orange juice. Baking soda and vinegar. Hatori and…well…anything. He needed something to do. Anything to do.

Anything besides listen to the TV and eat waffles.

Well he got to be near Toshi, which was always a positive, but he wanted to be nearer to them. He wanted to at least be able to do that thing where he laid down on the couch and then Toshi laid down on top of him and rested their head on his chest and then he could touch their hair and their face and feel them breathing and just…be with them….God. He had it worse than the kid. Crushes sucked, that's why they were called crushes. If they didn't crush you then they would have been called something else. How did he have a crush on Toshi? When had this even happened? And how did he make it stop? Did he even want to make it stop?

He focused on their presence.

He could feel them right there beside him. They were sitting slouched on the couch, they had their head resting on their hand, and they were so relaxed…chill Toshi was the best Toshi. Well any Toshi was a good Toshi but chill Toshi was one of his favorite Toshi's. He also liked sleepy Toshi, just getting up Toshi, fresh from the bath Toshi, high as a kite Toshi, drunk of their ass Toshi, reading in the garden Toshi, and even ketchup packet times Toshi. He liked every single flavor of Toshi they could think up….he liked Toshi….

God, he liked Toshi….but that was fine. It didn't change the outcome.

"Ok. Right now they're doing their magical girl transformation dance. When Usagi says 'moon power makeup' there's these colors….well you don't know what colors are…but…um…" said Mob. She was not good at narrating shows. This was Sho's thing. He always narrated what happened to Shimazaki when what they were watching didn't have a narrate button. It had always seemed sort of annoying to Mob, having to hear Sho talk over the whole Sho, but she had never said anything because it had to have been more annoying for Shimazaki not to be able to know what was going on. TV must have been so strange to him. He couldn't see it, not like he saw he world, he could only hear it….so Mob didn't really feel bad about having to narrate. She felt worse about not doing a good job of it.

"Are you sure you and Sho are related? Because he is one hell of a narrator while you…are putting forth effort. So, yay effort….I guess." Said Shimazaki. He was not about to tell Mob that she sucked at this even though she did kind of suck. If he told her that she sucked then she would get all sad and there were very few things in this world more boring than a sad person. Also If he made Mob sad then Toshi would be mad at him and then not only would he be bored he would be Toshi-less. He was already Sho-less, he wouldn't be Toshi-less too.

"Ryou, shut up. If you want it professionally narrated then go and find a professional narrator." Said Minegishi. Honestly. Mob or her little brother having someone narrate a show was just annoying and they did not feel like being annoyed right now. The boredom of it all was starting to get to them. Suzuki had no use for them and while they would normally have been happy about the lack of extra work being aimless was…well it was work in and of its self. One day bleeding into the day before. Over and over again…though it could have been worse. They could have had whatever Hatori's new job was. Whatever the President had him stumbling through the door at six in the morning for….

And no, it was not illicit sex.

Ryou had been convinced that the President was trying to get with Hatori…which made no sense. First of all Ryou could tell when people were having sex, fucking voyeur, and second of all if Suzuki was planning on taking his subordinates to bed he would have chosen better than Hatori. Not that Minegishi was volunteering themselves as tribute or anything. They would lay down on that wire if they had to, if Suzuki ever got close to starting to cross lines with Mob like that, but they were not going to lay down on that wire for Hatori Nozomu. He just wasn't worth it.

But nothing was happening anyway.

Well something had happened. They had woken up to Mob sitting in their living room with the TV still where Shibata had left it on the cooking channel. She had been waiting from them to get up, she had said, because sometimes strange had happened last night. Hatori had been in her house talking to Suzuki. Not being lectured by Suzuki, not being screamed at by Suzuki, and not being tortured by Suzuki. He had been talking to Suzuki. With words. Like normal people talked to each other….and Minegishi had been just as confused as Mob. They were sure that nothing was happening between Suzuki and Hatori…but there still had to be some explanation…but the only person who could explain was passed out in his room….and Minegishi was not about to go into that den of trash and filth so shake him awake and ask him what the President had wanted from him all night…

They would, however, watch Sailor Moon with Mob because Sailor Moon made everything better.

"My professional narrator is halfway around the world….God….I miss the little guy so fucking much." Said Shimazaki. He would come back eventually, and hopefully he would come back with the crush he'd developed withered and dead from neglect, but until that time Shimazaki was bored and would remain bored.

"I miss him too….but this is for the best. He's growing up and he likes away missions and we shouldn't bother him and tell him that we love him and miss him and that we wish that he would come home…because that would be smothering him and smothering people is wrong." Said Mob. She had a phone, Sho had a phone, and they both knew how to make phone calls but she was not going to smother him like dad smothered her. He was probably off having the time of his life in Seoul and she was not going to be so selfish as to stop him. He was happy and he was with his friend, he and Fukuda were still friends, and she was not going to take him away from that just because she was selfish. They had spent their entire lives together and…and it would have been selfish of her to smother him just because she missed him and missed spending time with him and missed seeing his drawings and how happy he got when he finished a drawing and also his little smiles….she would always miss his little smiles the most…just like she missed Mukai's baby smiles the most….

She leaned her head over on Minegishi.

She knew that Minegishi had said, before, that they were not the sort of friends who hugged…but they had hugged before….and she needed a hug now. Sho was halfway around the world and she knew that she shouldn't have wanted to smother him…but she did. She wanted to smother him with all the love she had in her heart because he was her little brother and she could not lose him. She could not be apart from him….and that was just so very selfish of her. To want to take his happiness away like that….

She could be so selfish sometimes.

"Yeah, then Suzuki would kill us." Said Shimazaki

"What?" asked Mob

"Nothing. Ignore him." said Minegishi as they let Mob rest her head on them. They kicked Ryou, he let them kick him.

"What? If we smothered Suzuki's kid then he would kill us. I mean that's his only son. Who's going to carry the bloodline if he's gone? You know how Suzuki is about this stuff." Said Shimazaki. Suzuki was going to be in for a big surprise when the kid was ready to be honest with himself. Could there have been a more ironic twist of fate? Suzuki plans world domination for decades only to have his bloodline end, possibly, because his only son is…something. Shimazaki had no clue what but the kid was something and that something had a crush on him and he needed that something to stop having a crush on him. It was a waste of the kid's time since nothing would ever happen, ever come of it, because he was just a kid. He was only ten and not even in a few years would Shimazaki want to. The kid was just…a kid. They were friends and they would never not be friends. Since the day that they'd met Sho had always been just this fun kid that Suzuki'd inexplicably had. Not like Mob. Mob had always been above him in her Claw hierarchy as well as Toshi's friend.

Not that he wanted Mob to have a crush on him either.

Crushes sucked. Romantic feelings sucked. He had never been able to return them….not in the way that people wanted him to. He had never been able to keep to one person, to keep his pants on if the opportunity to take them off came, and most people did not like that. Those that did got turned off, eventually, by the way he was. Not that he thought that there was anything wrong with the way he was. He was a lover of life. When had that become a crime? At some point it had and between his inability to be monogamous and the fact that he didn't treat life like a spectator sport it had been very hard to find a romantic partner…and also he just….aside from Toshi he just hadn't felt anything close to that since…all of that. That shit that he had taken and locked down in the recesses of his mind. Underneath all of that other painful shit. The shit that Toshi didn't even fully know about….and not that he would tell them…not that he was keeping secrets…they just didn't need to…well if they asked he would tell them….

Crushes sucked.

He prayed that nobody else got one on him. It wouldn't end well, it never did, and it never would. He hoped that crushing on him was not a family trait. Mob wasn't Sho. She wasn't that sort of person to him. Nothing would ever happen between him and Sho but Mob…well he'd revisit that when she got older. She was going to be his boss some day and when she was they were going to have a hell of a lot of fun. What sort of fun would be up to her but he was up for anything….just so long as she never caught feelings. He hated it when people caught feelings….

He hated it when he caught feelings.

Toshi kicked him again. He let them. He just liked it when they paid attention to him. When they acknowledged him. They liked to mess with people and tell them that he had a condition where he forgot that he was alive if nobody was paying attention to him…and that was sort of true. It was hard to remember who he was without them, that he was there, because sometimes he just felt…nothing. Boredom. That absence of stimulation. Well that wasn't the case when he was with Toshi. When they were together then he felt everything. Every feeling that he had ever known….

God, he had it bad…and he wished that he didn't.

"I didn't mean in real life. I just meant that he might feel like dad makes me feel sometimes. That's all." said Mob

"No, you were being literal. You've had enough of him and now it's time to make yourself an only child. Sister killing brother in a grab for power. It's a tale as old as time." Said Shimazaki with a laugh.

"Shimazaki! I would never do that! And also why are you bringing Beauty and the Beast into this?" asked Mob. She would never kill Sho even for all the power in the world. She didn't want power, it was hard being in charge, but even if she were offered something she loved like her own milk factory or a basket of kittens or Minegishi offering to get their own Frozen dress, which they would wear pants under, so they could be twins Mob would never have agreed to that. She loved Sho and she would never have done anything to hurt him!

She really hoped that Shimazaki had been kidding because if not then they would have to have a talk.

"Yes you were, we all know you were." Said Shimazaki. If she had been Sho then she would have hit him or thrown something at him and then they could have fought, not seriously of course, or she would have started cursing at him…and Sho always thought up the most hilarious combos….but she was not Sho. All that he had gotten from that was a kick to the side from Toshi.

"Ryou, shut up." Said Minegishi. There. Short and to the point. Not even he would be able to misinterpret that as 'keep running your mouth'.

"Fine….and are you sure those two are related? Because Sho would have been all over that." Said Shimazaki

"I'm not Sho. We're related but we're different people. Also I love him and I would never do anything to hurt him…and I don't want us to fight so I'm going to believe that you were just kidding. Ok?" asked Mob. She didn't want to fight with him, she never wanted to fight with her friends, and he said crazy things all the time…so he must have just been kidding…and stuff. Like he did with Sho.

"You can believe whatever you want but, yeah, I was kidding. When's he coming back? Things are so dull around here without him." said Shimazaki

"If you're so bored then go find fun. Go to a hospital and climb inside of an x-ray machine or something." Said Minegishi with a shrug. If someone were to ask them, not that anyone would ever ask them, they thought that Sho brought out the worst in Ryou. He had always liked performing for an audience and now he had found the most captive audience imaginable. A ten year old boy with the mother of all crushes. This could only end well.

"…that's actually a good idea. Thanks, Toshi." Said Shimazaki. He wasn't going to play with the x-ray machine, there was no point unless Sho was there, but hospitals could be fun. Lots of people there and lots of charts to switch around and medicine to borrow. He hadn't done this since he had been a kid. Toshi always had the best ideas. He'd bring them back something fun. God, Toshi was so smart.

"…he's not really going to play with an x-ray machine…is he? Because we don't have Fukuda anymore and I heard that radiation can make people sick…and it also makes people giant…and I don't want any of those things to happen." Said Mob

"He's a grown man. If he wants to play with an x-ray machine then he'll play with an x-ray machine and if he won't then he won't. Stop worrying so much about other people." Said Minegishi. Ryou probably wasn't going to play with an x-ray machine, he couldn't see them anyway, but he was an agent of chaos and hospitals provided vast opportunities for chaos…..if he had even gone there. He could have just gone to hang out in a theatre and watch plays all day again or maybe he found a dog shelter and now he was making new friends. Hell, he could have gone to that giant grocery store and he could be on his way back now with one of those economy sized boxes of pudding.

"I can't stop worrying about other people…and I don't want to. If I don't worry about other people then I won't care about them and I don't want to become the sort of person who doesn't care about other people." Said Mob. She was always worried about something, it felt like sometimes, but that was a good thing. If she wasn't worrying then she wasn't caring about the people around her and she had to care about the people around her. What was the point of having friends if she didn't care about them? People needed other people and she needed her friends…and she needed her friends to be safe and happy and ok and she knew that they wanted the same for her.

That was what friendship was and stuff.

"Mob, you can care about someone without worrying yourself to death over them. I care about you but I acknowledge that you make your own choices and…bad example. You're ten, you're different. I care about Ryou. There. I care about him and, no, I don't want him to get hurt, but I do know that there's no way for me to control him and I don't want to. He's responsible for his own actions and the consequences of those actions because he's a grown man." Said Minegishi. Mob took on too much responsibility, that was her problem. Like that thing with her dad and Hatori. Nobody was going to dispute how weird it was that Suzuki had kept him out all night, but he was not Mob's responsibility. Minegishi wished that Mob could have just been a carefree kid for once in her life…even though they knew that the picture of an idyllic, carefree childhood was just that, a picture. Not everyone got that, in their experience very few people got that, and they so wanted Mob to join the ranks of those few select people who got to have good childhoods…

But that ship had mostly sailed by now.

"You care about him?" asked Mob with a smile. That was great! Well Shimazaki maybe thinking that she would kill Sho for power was not great, and him playing with an z-ray machine was not great, but Minegishi caring about him was the best thing ever! That meant that maybe they liked him back and then they could go out and be in love and go on dates like Mob had seen on TV and they would get married and have babies and be happy together for the rest of their lives!

"Of course I do. I've known him for longer than I've known you….and not like that. I don't care about him like that so you just get those ideas out of your head right now." Said Minegishi. Well Mob was in a better mood…that was always good. They just wished that they couldn't see the wheels in her head turning. They didn't know if they could deal with the shippening for much longer. Mob neeed to come off of this. Thank God for Sailor Moon. She liked Tuxedo Mask….for some reason….and she shipped him with Usagi even though she didn't have to…but she did and hopefully she would learn to live vicariously through TV shows like a normal person instead of trying to get her friends together. What she really needed was a guy her own age who she was interested in but that wasn't going to happen, it seemed, so TV was the next best thing. Hopefully she got more used to talking to people her own age…

Because this would only get worse as time went by, not better, and Minegishi didn't know how much more of this they could take.

"Which ideas? I have a lot of them." Said Mob. Dad said that she was good at having ideas. Like how she had written up a whole year's worth of birthday lists and then just set them to go out on a schedule, Hatori had showed her how to do that, or like how she had gotten the idea to keep everyone's plates and glasses on separate shelves because Sho REALLY did not like anyone eating off of special plate and drinking from his special glass…and there was no reason to tell him about the mistake that Hatori had made. She would have warned him if she'd had any idea that he would be hanging out in her house with her dad like that. But she'd had no idea. She didn't even know that it was possible for dad to just sit around and hang out with someone who wasn't her…and it had been so weird…

She knew that she should have been happy for dad, he was making a friend, but the whole thing was just too weird.

"The ones about me and Ryou getting together. It's not going to happen." Said Minegishi

"But if you wanted it to-" said Mob. Minegishi had said, before, that they didn't want to be in a relationship because their girlfriend had dumped them. They didn't see why anyone would want to dump Minegishi but for some reason they just blamed themselves…and she didn't know why. Minegishi was a good person and they had no reason to go blaming themselves just because someone else couldn't see how wonderful they were.

"Mob, what did I just say? It's not going to happen. I don't do the relationship thing and neither does he. You're ten, I get it, and you've been fed a very steady diet of monogamous relationships for your entire life but me and Ryou aren't like that. Neither of us does the relationship thing and neither of us ever will. Now let it go already." Said Minegishi. Mob needed a boyfriend or a boy for figure stuff out with or just one to pine after. They wondered if anyone had seen or heard from that guy she kissed back when she was nine. Whatever happened to that kid? Mob had liked that kid. That kid had been her age and, well, they weren't a big fan of kidnapping but how great could that kid's parents have been if they let Claw take him in the first place.

Not that they were advocating for kidnapping a kid so Mob could have a boyfriend….but the idea was on the table.

"Let it-" said Mob

"No. Not that song. Anything but that song." Said Minegishi

"Do you wanna-" said Mob

"Watch more Sailor Moon? Yes, I do. We have over a hundred episodes to get through before we can get to Crystal and I'd like to get back to it. Unless you want us to sit through Frozen for the thousandth time." Said Minegishi

"I do like Frozen…but I want you to be happy. We can keep watching this if you want because I know that you're getting a little bit tired of Frozen." Said Mob. She sometimes felt a little bit tired of Frozen too….but then she just remembered how great the movie was and how much better it made her feel and then she stopped being tired of it…but Minegishi was a different person from her and they had their own things that made them feel better. Like this. They really liked Sailor Moon. That was why they had a Sailor Moon t-shirt and pajama pants and why they kept on getting Sailor Moon grinders, too, but also because Shimazaki kept stealing theirs…which was not nice at all…and she would have to talk to him about that later.

"Good." Said Minegishi. There. Now they were at the end of it. They didn't hate Frozen….they had just seen it so many times that they could probably transcribe it from memory.

"But also, um, what if he liked you? Or what if someone liked you? Would you still never want to be in a relationship with them? Even though you don't want to get dumped again? Because you might not be. You're a good person and I don't know why wouldn't want to be with you forever." Said Mob. Shimazaki would have wanted to be with Minegishi forever, she had thought, because he had already been with them for years. They already kissed and cuddled and did adult things together so why not become boyfriend and theyfriend? And then they could go one dates and get married and have babies and then Mob could be friends with the babies and when she got older and had babies her babies could be friends with their babies, best friends, just like she and Minegishi were best friends. It all worked out so well….well it would have. Was there some way to fix Minegishi fear of being dumped? Mob had never been dumped before but she couldn't imagine a pain worse than the pain of being in love with someone and then them one day deciding that they didn't love you back. Well Shimazaki wasn't like that so Minegishi would be fine….if they even liked him back….

Relationships were sort of complicated.

"Nope. I'm happy the way I am. Now stop projecting." Said Minegishi

"Projecting?" asked Mob. She checked her phone really quick even though she got the feeling that Minegishi meant a different kind of projecting then when her phone decided to play stuff on the TV on it's own.

"You want a boyfriend so you think that I want a boyfriend. I don't." said Minegishi

"Oh…what about a girlfriend? There's got to be a girl out there-" said Mob. She didn't understand how anyone could be happy all on their own without being with someone else. Dad married mom, Sho had found a girlfriend, and she wanted a boyfriend…so why wouldn't Minegishi have wanted to be with someone? They were a good person. They were smart and nice and always knew what to do. Who wouldn't have wanted to be with them?

Well besides crazy people, probably, and those people who hated other people so they lived alone in the woods and stuff. Also Fukuda but he didn't like anyone who wasn't Sho.

"So, any progress on the Hatori front?" asked Minegishi. Mob was ten, they reminded themselves that she was ten, and she only wanted to see them paired off because she was ten. She was ten and in the beginnings of puberty and she just wanted to build an arc and pair the whole world off and then sail off to love island where everyone would live happily ever after in neat little pairs. They couldn't fault her for that. They could, however, change the subject.

"What about Hatori?" asked Mob. She and Hatori had made progress in their Minecraft world the other day, they were building a sky tower and it was so tall that the game was having trouble generating it, but that was the only kind of progress that Mob could think of.

"Is your intricate flirting plan, which consists of equal parts staring and giggling, working out for you at all?" asked Minegishi. They knew that they were being mean but there was no faster way to get Mob to come off of this than to let her know how it felt when someone went prying into your personal feelings…which they did not have for Ryou anyway. He was a nice guy, when he wanted to bed, and he was good in bed. That was all. He also made for a great heater when it got cold and sometimes he could be so…they did not have feelings for Shimazaki Ryou.

"I-I'm not….I don't have a plan about….I don't flirt with him! I don't even know how to flirt? I don't even know what that means! I mean I do but I don't know how to do it! And even if I did I wouldn't do it with him! Also…also he's getting up and maybe he knows were talking about him so…so let's talk about something else…um…Shibata sure made good waffles today!" said Mob as her eyes, which had been darting around the room, landed on her empty waffle plate. There. That was a good subject of conversation. Hatori could not know about the way she thought about him sometimes. He could not even suspect. She could feel him waking up and…and if he had heard Minegishi then she would have no choice but to dig a hole and live in it for the rest of her life. Yes. That would be the only way.

"See? How do you like it when people pry into your feelings like that? And say things that aren't true. I don't have feelings for Ryou and you don't want to date Hatori anymore. You think he's attractive…God only knows why…but you don't want to date him anymore. So I'm going to drop it and not make anything out of the fact that he hung out at your house all night." Said Minegishi. Sometimes you had to be hard on people. They didn't like embarrassing Mob but they didn't know how much more they could take of Mob trying to put them together with Ryou. It wasn't going to happen and she needed to accept that.

"He wasn't hanging out with me, he was hanging out with my dad….and stuff." Said Mob. She didn't know why she was so sad about that…and also this other feeling. Dad was her dad. Dad was her dad and if he wanted to play videogames and talk about them then he could have went and got her…even though it had been three in the morning and stuff…but still. She would have spent time with dad…unless he planned on smothering her. She didn't like it when dad ignored her and she didn't like it when he smothered her…but she did like spending time with him…if he could just be normal. But he was never normal. He was a very strange person, she loved him but he could be very strange, and now he was being strange towards Hatori…and she hoped that dad didn't plan on smothering Hatori or anything like that….

Being smothered was never a good feeling.

And she hoped that Hatori wasn't planning trying to be best friends with dad, either, and she…she didn't know how she had gotten such a selfish thought inside of her mind. She didn't know how it had gotten there, how it had taken root, and why it was growing into it's own whole selfish plant. She wanted her dad to be happy, she really did, but she also just…she wanted Hatori to be happy and…and also she wanted…she wanted to be happy with dad and…and she wanted dad to spend time with her but…but not like he was smothering her…

She didn't know what she wanted.

"They were hanging out? Like, hanging out hanging out? Him and your dad?" asked Minegishi. Well then that…the President of Claw did not make social calls with his subordinates. He was above such things. But if Mob said….they would have believed Ryou's sordid tales of illicit sex over….that. What reason could Suzuki possibly have to hanging out with Hatori?

"Yes. They were playing Minecraft and talking about videogames….and dad's aura was all…well he was normal but Hatori's aura was all….relaxed. Like when we hang out. It was weird." Said Mob. She shook her head. She wanted Hatori to be happy but also she didn't want dad to smother him…and also she would have liked to have been invited…that is if dad hadn't been planning on smothering her or anything like that. No, she didn't want to be smothered by dad at all. She just wanted…she wanted dad to be normal….but dad wasn't normal at all…so she had no clue what she wanted.

Well she wanted everyone to be happy…including herself.

She needed to stop talking about this. Not only was talking about this making her unhappy but also she had heard a door open and now she could feel Hatori's aura getting closer and closer to her. She felt….well she always felt all gooey inside, like she was made of waffle batter, when he was near her…well no because there was doki doki in that. Maybe more like a box of crayons that had been left out in the sun? She felt something like that when he was near her…but also…also she sort of wanted to tell him that…that he shouldn't hang out with dad because he would end up getting smothered….

And also because that was her dad and not his…but that was a terribly selfish way to feel…so she needed to exorcise that feeling.

"What about Hatori?" asked Hatori as he walked through the living room and stretched. He raised his arms high above his head when he stretched and Mob could see his stomach…and it was all fuzzy and stuff….and now she felt all fuzzy because she had never seen his stomach before…and she had no idea why that would make her feel all fuzzy inside but it did….

She had been feeling like that a lot lately…hopefully these feelings would go away on their own like when she got sad for no reason sometimes.

"Mob says that your aura is weird." Said Minegishi. They reached over with a vine and pulled his shirt down before Mob drowned in a puddle of her own drool. That was her type, apparently. Pale and inexplicably skinny. This was indeed a strange world they lived in.

"No I didn't! I mean….I just said that it was weird last night when you were hanging out with my dad. Usually your aura is all…scared…but when I went to get water you were all…calm…and stuff. And also you were in my house at three in the morning playing games and talking to my dad. That was really weird." Said Mob. She hadn't meant to be mean, she had never meant to be mean, and she hoped that Hatori didn't think that she was a mean person.

"Oh, that. Yeah, that was weird as hell." Said Hatori with a yawn. What time was it? Maybe he could go back to sleep…after he saw what Shibata had made. He always kept breakfast in the microwave for him even if he slept through it. He was a good guy like that.

"Wait….so you were seriously up all night playing games with Suzuki?" asked Minegishi. They wondered if they had taken something and then forgotten about it. They could not see that. They had seen Suzuki kicking the literal shit out of people, they'd seen him kill people, they'd seen him do all kinds of terrible things…and they could see him doing that. They could see him keeping Hatori around to do something terrible to him, even to have weird illicit unimaginably kinky sex with him, but just hanging out with him…that was….they didn't even think that Suzuki was capable of hanging out with anyone…

"Yeah, I don't think he needs sleep. We played Minecraft and we got to talking, too. Hey, do you know what's for breakfast?" asked Hatori. He needed more sleep…especially if he was going to show President Suzuki Terraria tonight. Or maybe tomorrow, it depended on if he got summoned or not. He could pull another all nighter with him. He was…he was a weirdo…and he could kill Hatori whenever he wanted…but he also liked games…weirdly enough. Hidden depths and all of that, Hatori supposed. Either way he would gladly take going over the history of games or whatever with Suzuki instead of fearing for his life and shit.

"Waffles today, not square pancakes. Shimazaki didn't try and make caramel waffles again." Said Mob

"He's not home, is he?" asked Hatori. Now he was awake. Was Shimazaki there? Was he planning on teleporting Hatori somewhere and leaving him out in public in his pajamas? Or was he planning on making him drink something or take something or…or something?

"No, he's the world's problem now….now what in the hell did you and the president have to talk about all night?" asked Minegishi

"Games, mostly, game history. You know he's actually kind of interesting when you get to talking about something he cares about. I mean he's weird and lowkey terrifying but he can be sort of….well…not that bad. I don't know. We had a nice conversation about early arcade games and stuff from when he was a kid. It was nice." Said Hatori with a shrug. He knew why he was being stared at. He knew that Suzuki was not the sort of person that you could imagine being into games and stuff…or being easy to talk to…but he sort of was. When he wasn't staring at you like he wanted to kill you or asking you weird questions it was sort of…easy….to talk to him.

Sometimes you could even forget who you were talking to.

Hatori had been way too tired. Eventually he had forgotten that he had been talking to his boss, his boss who was planning on taking over the world, and he had just been talking to….a guy. A Guy who had weird taste in games but another guy. Really when you got past the weirdness, the creepiness, the world domination plans, and the violent tendencies…he was a guy. He was a guy who….had gone to arcades and shit when he'd been a kid. He had interests besides taking over the world and shit. He had been a guy…and he was a guy…and he was kind of an interesting guy. Also he was kind of an early adopter, too, from what Hatori could tell…and he did kind of like retro tech….and he could talk about retro tech all night if it kept Suzuki liking him….

And not wanting to kill him.

"That….makes no sense….but I know that you're telling the truth….I think." Said Minegishi. That was….well they had seen Suzuki playing Minecraft….and actually a few pieces came into place in their mind as far as Mob went. Her dad was apparently a murderous, socially awkward, geek….which was why she was into a non-murderous socially awkward geek. Huh. Well then that would explain…a lot. Also what the fuck? Hatori was…making friends it sounded like…with Suzuki.

Acid flashback maybe….no, those weren't real….well obviously they were….and if they were on acid in any way then they would have been tasting unpleasant childhood memories…so, no, the universe was just being weird again.

"Hatori….I'm glad that you and my dad are getting along but please don't let him smother you….because he does that sometimes…and also…um….I'm glad that you and my dad are friends." Said Mob. She had to be happy that dad and Hatori were getting along, she had to warn him about how dad could be, and also…also she had to not say something crazy like 'are you trying to be my brother or something' because obviously he was not. She had been wanting dad to show other people how nice he could be for so long now…and now he was…and she was happy for dad and Hatori and their new friendship…she really was….but she also would have liked to have been invited into the friendship.

"We're not friends but…but he can be kind of cool. I can see where you get it from, Little Sister-sama." Said Hatori. She liked it when he called her that. He got that she was worried about him and he had to put her fears to rest…even though Suzuki could smother him at any time and then dump his body in the desert…or something. But he wouldn't so long as they got along. Besides, one on one at three in the morning Suzuki was different from middle of the day 'let's take over the world' Suzuki. He was…well he was still a weirdo but…well he was a less angry weirdo. Maybe because it was his house and his kid was there and he could be himself…or something. Hatori didn't know. He was tired and he wanted pancakes.

"Thank you." Said Mob. She was cool…Hatori had called her cool…and he had also called her his little sister again…and he had also called dad cool…and he had also been hanging out with dad all night…and now she had no idea what to say or to do or to feel so she just said thank you…because what else could she say?

Well she didn't have time to say anything else because it was at that moment that Shimazaki had decided to come back home.

"Hatori, good, I need a guinea pig. Take these pills." Said Shimazaki as he shove some of these tiny little pills he had found in a square case into Hatori's hand. He had no idea what they were and he was not going to use himself as a Guinea pig…that would have been stupid.

"But you said never to take pills because they're dangerous." Said Mob. Shimazaki had said that pills were fun but also you could die if you took the wrong ones or you took too many. She didn't want anything bad to happen to Hatori. If he died then everyone would be sad….including dad now…and also he would be dead.

"Yes, they are. Hatori listen to the ten year old and get rid of those. We don't have a healer right now so, yeah, like Mob said this may not be the time to be taking random, and potentially dangerous, pills. She's a hell of a lot smarter than you'll ever be." Said Minegishi. Where to begin with the stupidity of Hatori? Trying to be friends with Suzuki? Being too much of a pushover to tell Ryou to fuck off? Or the fact that he was actually going to listen to Ryou and take the random pills while they had no healer.

They needed a drink.

"We don't know if they're dangerous until Hatori takes one. He's the Guinea pig so come on, down the hatch." Said Shimazaki. He took another one of those tiny pills from the blister pack and fed it to Hatori himself. That had been a hell of an adventure…and he wished that he'd had someone to share it with….but Toshi didn't like nonsense, Mob was too cautious to live her life, and Hatori was no fun unless you gave him something….hence why he was being given something right now.

"Maybe you shouldn't be doing that." said Mob. She sort of wanted to grab him with her powers and make him stop…but that would have been wrong. There was nothing scarier than when someone bigger and stronger than you used their powers against you. She knew. Dad had done that to her before…back before he had gotten all smothery and stuff.

"Morons…you're all morons. What are you even taking?" asked Minegishi as they pulled the pill pack from Shimazaki's hands. Well this could either be really fun or they were going to have to hold Hatori upside down until he threw up and then they would have to stuff him full of activated charcoal until he either got better or they had a funeral to plan….wonderful….and to think this day had started with Sailor Moon and waffles…

"Um….maybe this is a bad idea…and maybe you shouldn't take medicine if you don't know what it is….and maybe you shouldn't let him make you take medicine when you don't know what it is. Because this seems like it's kind of…not a very smart thing to do at all." Said Mob. She was bad at this, being hard on people, but this struck her as a very bad idea…Fukuda may have been sort of mean sometimes but at least if he had been here then this would not have been happening….and stuff….because from what she had been told something very bad could happen…and here was nothing she could do because she didn't have healing powers….

"Eh, you worry too much. Come on, worst thing that happens is we have to make him throw up." Said Shimazaki. How could such a worrywart have been related to Sho? He would have thought that this was hilarious! Honestly, he would never understand how those two could possibly have been related…or how they could have possibly both some from Suzuki of all people.

"He'll be fine. These are just birth control pills." Said Minegishi. They tossed the pill container back to Shimazaki and then turned to face the TV. Since nobody was going to die any time soon they could get back to….well they had missed the episode….but that was what the back button was for.

"What?" asked Hatori, his eyes wide. The picture on the TV went blue. What in…what was WRONG WITH Shimazaki?!

"Minegishi just said that they were birth control pills." Said Mob

"WHAT THE HELL?!" asked Hatori after spitting out the bitter pill that had been dissolving on his tongue. What in the hell was wrong with Shimazaki? What had he been thinking?! That…that could have been so bad! He didn't know what happened when you took birth control pills when you didn't even have any birth to control but it could not have been good.

"They are not. I remember when you were on the pill and the thing for them was round. This is square." Said Shimazaki. If those were birth control pills then that was hilarious and if they weren't well then he needed to find a more cooperative Guinea pig…maybe some actual Guinea pigs…Sho would have been all over that. He loved animals and picking them up and petting them and stealing them from pet stores and setting them free and stuff. Maybe he wouldn't have minded using them to test medicine. This was safe, right? They made sure that stuff was safe for animals before they tried it on people? Or was that just with chimps? Were there chimps that they could have borrowed? God, Sho would have loved that.

"They can make other container shapes, Ryou, that's the wonder of plastic, now put these back where they came from before someone gets pregnant and, actually, all of you get out of here. Mob and I are trying to fritter our lives away in front of the TV and you're both being very distracting." Said Minegishi with a sigh. They reached over and turned Mob around too. There was no reason for her to get all upset over nothing. She had said all that she could and now those idiots would have to deal with their own consequences. They knew that you couldn't die from taking those…unless you had a blood clotting disorder or something….but those idiots knew the risks. God, Ryou was so stupid sometimes…such an idiot….their idiot.

"Um…should we do something about that?" asked Mob as Minegishi turned her around. She felt like she should have done something about that. This felt like something that she needed to fix….but Minegishi wasn't letting her….but maybe they had a good reason. They were very smart about a lot of things.

"Nope. Not our problem. Don't create extra work for yourself, Mob, now watch TV with me and let them get all of that sorted out. Honestly. Ryou knows that he can't read, he knows that I can read, I have no idea why he's such an idiot sometimes. He could just have me read to him but no, he has to go and almost poison Hatori." Muttered Minegishi. Ryou was such an idiot sometimes. He was an idiot and a moron and a cretin and…and they needed to stop thinking about him. They could hear him getting chewed out by Shibata, Hatori had apparently decided that the best course of action was to run and hide behind Shibata's apron, and they needed to focus on this and less on Ryou's….Ryou-ness…

They turned the volume up.

"Is…is Hatori going to be ok? Fukuda isn't here and…and what even are birth control pills? I don't know about medicine, I've never really needed it." Said Mob

"They're exactly what they sound like. They're pills that people take, well people with working female reproductive systems take, to keep from getting pregnant. I'm sure he'll be fine and it's not our problem anyway." Said Minegishi. They were not going to have this talk with Mob. They did not want to have this talk with Mob so they wouldn't. They would in the future, they were apparently the only person in her life who resembled a functional adult, but not now. Now they just wanted to sit and relax and deal with the headache those idiots were giving them.

"Wait…so they make pills to keep you from having a baby grow in your stomach? But I thought that you had to do….stuff…with a boy for that to happen." Said Mob. It had been her understanding that people fit together like puzzle pieces and that was where babies came from. Mom had told her that to her face. When two people loved each other very much they did something very special that only adults were allowed to do and then they made a whole new person together. That was how it worked.

"Mob, first of all just say 'get pregnant' and second of all yes, you have to have sex first, if you have sex without being on the pill or taking other precautions that I don't have the mental energy to deal with right now. I'll tell you when you're older, ok?" said Minegishi

"Um….ok." said Mob. She sort of wanted to know now but she knew what it meant when Minegishi aura got all tired like that. They didn't always have the most patience and stuff because they didn't get a lot of sleep and also they had to put up with a lot of nonsense, they had said. Still, though, Mob did want t know…and Minegishi would tell her when she got older. Medicine to not have babies? Why would you do something so gross with a boy if not to have a baby? Well because it felt good…she had heard….but it also sounded very gross and embarrassing. Another person had to see you naked and stuff. Why would you let another person see you naked and do all of that other stuff with you if you weren't going to at least get baby at the end of it…or however long it took for them to grow inside of their mom's stomach. Well it did supposedly feel good and stuff….but Mob didn't get it….and maybe that was why it was an adult's only thing.

A very strange adult's only thing.

Adults sure were strange sometimes. They did strange things with each other, acted weird towards each other, and also could be sort of mean to each other. For as long as she would live she would never understand adults. Not her dad, who was making friends with Hatori, or Shimazaki who was always picking on Hatori, or Minegishi who couldn't see how much Shimazaki liked them and how he would never, ever, dump them for as long as he lived.

Really, all of the adults in Mob's life were just very strange people…except for Shibata. He made waffles and that made perfect sense.