Sho would do whatever he wanted with his lunch.

He didn't care if it made the meal take forever. He didn't care if he made a mess. He didn't care that he was out in public where people could see him. He didn't care if he hadn't even done this when he had been a baby. This was his lunch and if he wanted to take it apart and eat each part on it's own then that was what he was going to do….and he didn't know why Fukuda cared.

He didn't know why anyone cared.

"Does he want to go somewhere else? I mean it doesn't look like he likes the food here and kids are notoriously picky." Said Higashio. He was one of Fukuda's friends…well sort of friends. He and Fukuda and the other guy. Ootski, worked together sometimes. They had all been fixing something that had gone wrong in Korea, Sho didn't know what, all he knew was that it involved a lot of filing and papers and was really boring. This was the boring kind of mission, not the fun kind that Shimazaki and the others went on sometimes, but it was still nice to get away from dad and his meanness and also Shimazaki and the weird feelings he made Sho feel….well actually he really missed Shimazaki….

He took another noodle out of his bowl.

He liked kong-gutsku. Big sis liked it too. It was cold soup in milk and soy broth and they both liked noodles and milk, well she really liked milk, it made sense that they both would like this. They had come here back when they had first come to Korea…it felt like a million years ago. Now he was here all alone and she could never come back because she went where dad went and dad hated Korea for some reason, probably a stupid one, and so he would never be able to eat this with big sis again. He would never be able to eat this with Shimazaki, either, even though this really would have freaked him out. It was cold and had noodles and sometimes, like when he was really tired or he had a lot to drink, Sho could convince him that cold noodles were really dead worms….and it would have been so funny if he brought Shimazaki a bowl of this and told him that it was worm soup. He'd laugh and stuff and…

And Sho felt weird again.

He took another noodle out of his bowl, used his powers to make all the soup drip off, and then put it in the empty bowl next to him. He didn't like it when his foods touched. He wanted everything to be separate in his mouth. This was his food and he could do whatever he wanted to it. He could throw it across the room if he felt like it…well he wouldn't do that because he was out in public and if he did that then they'd get kicked out and Fukuda would be all pissed off and stuff….but if he didn't care then he would have totally thrown his stuff across the room because it was his and he would do whatever he wanted!

"No, I heard that you aren't supposed to give into the pickiness because then they develop an unhealthy relationship with food. I think that you're just supposed to make kids eat and then they'll get used to eating a more varied diet." Said Ootski. Sho didn't much like being spoken about like he wasn't right there but that was normal for most adults, he'd noticed. It had been the same with mom and dad when he had been little. Dad would say something like 'is Boy hungry' and mom would decide if it was time for him to eat or not. Dad had called him Boy a lot back then…which was worse than Son…but better than Failure or Disappointment or Mistake that Makes Mistakes….or any of the other things that dad had called him over the years….

Better than 'Your Brother'.

Dad called him 'Your Brother' whenever he was talking to big sis about him. He would say things like 'Control Your Brother' or 'Your Brother needs something' or 'Should Your Brother be doing that' or 'Either force Your Brother to eat or let him starve I don't really care' and other stuff like that. He would say that stuff to big sis even though Sho was always right there in front of him. Dad never talked to him…adults were just like that it seemed. Normal adults. Not the adults he knew. Not his friends.

These were Fukuda's friends, not his friends.

"But I mean if he's hungry he deserves to have something that he can eat. I feel like forcing someone to eat when they don't want to it'll create an unhealthy relationship with food more so than just letting someone eat whatever they want to." Said Higashio. Sho wondered if anyone was going to actually ask him what he wanted. He wondered if anyone cared that he was fine, perfectly fine, and that he didn't care if they had to sit here until Christmas. He was going to get his food the way he wanted it.

"He's eating though, he's just taking it apart. We should be happy he's not eating kongee or we'd be here all night." Said Ootski

"Don't tease him like that. You'll just make him do it more if you tease him like that." Said Higashio. Sho pretended that he wasn't listening. He wasn't doing this because of what people were and were not saying. He was just doing this because…because he wanted his food he way he wanted it. He could decide things for himself. He could eat what he wanted when he wanted. He wasn't stupid. He wasn't a disappointment. Not everything he did was wrong.

He took another noodle out of his soup and cleaned it off.

"I'm not teasing him, don't get yourself all worked up over nothing. I'm just saying that if he had to pick apart kongee instead of soup we'd be sitting here until we were as exhausted as Fukuda." Said Ootski

"He's fine. He just….does that. There's nothing that anyone can do to stop him." Said Fukuda. He took a drink after he said that. He was tired…well that was his own fault. He shouldn't have been up half the night trying to get Sho to go to sleep. He would sleep whenever he felt like it. Big sis wasn't around to put him to bed and Fukuda didn't know how…not that Sho needed to be put to bed or anything. Of course not. He was ten and ten year olds did not need to be put down to sleep. But if he had still needed to be put down to sleep then he would have wanted big sis to have been there. She always made sure that his bed was just right and that she left the light on until she was done reading, she liked to read out loud, and also that she left when he told her to. Fukuda said that he wasn't reading to him, that he was just reading out loud in the same room, but Sho knew better. Big sis always read out loud sitting on her bed because she needed to do that to get tired. Fukuda always stood above him and read and it was obvious that he thought that Sho was a baby who still needed a bedtime story and wet the bed and woke up all sad and lonely because big sis wasn't there on the other side of the room….and stuff.

Sho was not a baby.

He could feed himself and he could put himself to bed and he did not wet the bed. He had just…forgotten that he had been asleep when he'd had to pee that one time, that was all, or someone had broken in to play a mean prank on him or something. He had not wet the bed and he could decide for himself what he ate and when he ate it and also if he wanted to stay up all night watched movies where people got chopped apart with axes and drawing pictures, then he could stay up all night watching movies where people got chopped apart with axes and he could draw pictures until the sun came up.

He wasn't a baby anymore.

"I don't like it when my food touches." Said Sho as he pulled out more of his noodles. He didn't care that everyone was already done, mostly, because it wasn't like anyone was being held prisoner. Sho was ten now. They could just leave him all alone here. He could find his way home by himself. He was ten, not two, and he could take care of himself. Dad didn't even care where he went or what he did. He had even said that to Sho's face. Big sis was the one who worried about him and she wasn't there anymore.

"But…Leader, it's soup. If you take it apart then you just have noodles and broth." Said Higashio. He and Ootiski called him leader a lot. That was because his name was the character for leader. That didn't mean that his name actually was Leader but, hey, it was better than being called any of the stuff that dad called him.

"I want my broth and my noodles to be separate." Said Sho. What was everyone's obsession with how he chose to eat his food? He could put it in a blender and drink it like a smoothie if he wanted to. He could bake it into a pie and eat it face first like a dog. He could cover it in chocolate and pretend that he was eating a really gross melted ice cream sundae if he felt like it.

"But they're all ending up in the same place, your stomach, so why take everything apart?" Said Ootski

"Yeah, well, they don't have to start out in the same place." Said Sho

"He has a point. I mean you'll eat squid for dinner and then butterscotch pudding for desert but you wouldn't dip your squid in butterscotch pudding." Said Higashio

"I wouldn't eat butterscotch pudding in the first place. Are you secretly eighty or something?" asked Ootski. He kicked Higashio under the table but not meanly. He just sort of tapped his foot with his. Sho didn't get it. If you were going to kick someone then go big or go home…not that he felt like kicking anyone under the table. He had done that to big sis a lot when he had been little but he wasn't little anymore and he didn't do stuff like that to people anymore. Well to anyone other than Minegishi but they deserved it…and then he would have landed a good, too, hit if Shimazaki hadn't stopped him…and he shouldn't have stopped him anyway because Minegishi had been mean first…

Sho pulled out a hunk of noodles and pulled the broth off so fast it sloshed out of the bowl and onto the table. Fukuda sighed and cleaned it up with his napkin. Sho put his clean noodles in their separate bowl and when he finished that he totally would have helped….but Fukuda just worked too fast. He finished and sighed and sat back down in his chair. He was way too tired…but it served him right for trying to make him go to bed like that. He wasn't a baby. He could decide when and when not he felt like going to sleep.

"We're the same age and you know it. If anyone's secretly eighty it's Fukuda." Said Higashio. Fukuda shrugged.

"Fukuda's only forty four though." said Sho. He had no idea what was so funny about what he said. He had only been telling the truth. Fukuda was forty four, the same age as dad, and he was not going on eighty anything because eighty was very far away from forty four. He was old, he was as old as dad, but he wasn't THAT old. Just old enough that he didn't really know how to play videogames and he couldn't stay up very late and he didn't climb trees or do anything fun like that. He was just…old-ish. Not super old just old-ish.

"I'm forty four going on eighty four." Sighed Fukuda. Sho had no idea how that worked. If anything he would have been forty four going on forty five. You didn't get to skip birthdays and you didn't get to have an advance on your birthdays either. You just had to have them in order.

"You look it. What happened?" asked Higashio

"Don't pry." Said Ootski

"I'm not prying I'm just asking a question." Said Higashio

"It's nothing, I'm fine. It's just…it's been a lot more work than I thought that it would be." Said Fukuda. Sho didn't get what everyone was giving each other looks for. Adults were weird like that sometimes. The ones that Fukuda knew, anyway. The adults that Sho knew, aside from Minegishi, were way more fun than this. nobody was fighting or stealing food from each other or freaking anyone out so they hid in the bathroom or talking about interesting stuff…like…um…what life would be like if we all lived underwater or why you could walk a dog but not a cat. Important stuff like that. These guys just talked about work, which was super boring, and people who Sho hadn't ever heard of. Who had a girlfriend, who had a boyfriend, who got promoted, who got reassigned, boring stuff like that. He missed Shimazaki so much…

The weird feeling again.

He decided to eat some of his clean noodles. He could feel the goldfish in his stomach swimming around when he thought about Shimazaki. When he thought about how funny it would have been to throw a noodle at him and tell him that it was a worm. How they could have dumped a whole bowl of noodles into Hatori's head and told him that they were worms…or dumped a bowl of worms onto Hatori's head and told him that they were noodles and then he would be all 'ha-ha very funny' but then the worms would star crawling around on his head and it would be so funny and then he would hide in the bathroom and it would be funny, too, even though big sis would be mad at him. Well Shimazaki had always said that it was better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission. He would just say that he was sorry and then she wouldn't be upset with him and then he and Shimazaki could go and find something else funny to do to Hatori or just fun to do together and…

And he hated this weird feeling.

He hated it and he wanted it to go away. It made him think things that he should not have thought and it made him want things that he should not have wanted. It was ok for him to want to hang out with Shimazaki and make fun of Hatori and stuff. It was not ok for him to want to be picked up by Shimazaki and held really close…like when Shimazaki teleported him into a tree and held onto him so he wouldn't fall out even though Sho could keep himself up with his powers. It was not ok for him to want that or for him to want to see Shimazaki's tattoos…well that was ok because they were awesome and when Sho grew up he was getting all of his scars covered up with tattoos too….but he should not have wanted to look at them close enough that he could see the scars that they covered up. The long stripes on his back, the thing on his stomach where he got stabbed, or the long slice from when he got into a knife fight when he had been little, or the ones that Sho didn't know the stories behind. Shimazaki never told him the stories until he asked and….and maybe it was ok to want to look at him and touch him and stuff because he just wanted to know all the stories. To know all of the stuff that had happened to him before he had gotten good at putting up a barrier. Back when he had been a lot younger, closer to Sho's age, and stuff…and it had been before Sho had been born…and maybe it was ok for Sho to…to want to be near him because…because he just wanted to know…

He wanted to eat his plain noodles so he that was what he did.

Well that was what he would have done if Fukuda hadn't nudged him. Sho slurped up the rest of his noodles, which was not impolite at all and it wasn't like he was getting broth anywhere because his noodles were broth free, and then wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve, which was not rude because there had barely been any broth on those noodles. He still didn't know why Fukuda was all…like that. Making that face. He made that face every time they shared a meal. Sho would have thought that he would have gotten sick of making that face by now.

"Why don't you get some pictures? There's a pretty cool aquarium over there." said Fukuda

"What would be the point? Shimazaki's blind." Said Sho. That was a neat aquarium and all but Shimazaki would have enjoyed it better if he could have been there in person. He liked aquariums a lot. He said that it looked cool, being able to feel the fish and stuff, through the fuzziness of the water. He liked to ride in boats for that reason too. Sho wished that he could have brought Shimazaki with. There was so much stuff around here that he would have liked. They could have had so much fun together. They could have had so much fun just the two of them while Fukuda worked and stuff. Just him and Shimazaki…

Stupid weird feelings.

"….I meant for your sister….or your girlfriend. Yeah, I think your girlfriend would love to see pictures of that aquarium. You should go take some pictures to show your girlfriend." Said Fukuda. Sho had no idea what he was saying 'girlfriend' so many times but he did have a point. Emmy had never left England, she said, and she'd probably like some pictures. Big sis would like to see some pictures too.

"Does he mean…Shimazaki Ryou? Suzuki's hit ma-" said Ootski

"Take some for me too, ok Sho? Take a lot of them." Said Fukuda. He gave Ootski a look and Ootski gave one back. Sho didn't know what that was about and he didn't really want to ask. He figured that if he had been about to say something mean about Shimazaki then it was better that Sho didn't know what it was. When people said bad stuff about Shimazaki it was hard for Sho to not yell at them…and throw stuff…and other mean things.

"Alright…but don't dump my noodles back in the broth bowl or I'll get mad." Said Sho as he got up. They started talking after he left, really low and quiet, but he didn't care. They were probably still talking about boring work stuff or boring stuff about people he didn't know. Whatever, he had pictures of fish to take. They were a bunch of colorful fish, tropical fish, and stuff. They were cool. He wished that Shimazaki could have seen them. They were suck cool colors.

It sucked that he didn't know what colors were.

Sometimes Sho drew stuff for him. They wouldn't start out as pictures for Shimazaki, they would start up as pictures of just dogs and other stuff, and then Sho thought that Shimazaki would have liked the picture that he was drawing….but then he remembered that no matter what he drew Shimazaki would never be able to see it. Sho was a good artist, even dad said so, but no matter how good he got or what he drew or how well he drew Shimazaki would never be able to see it. He couldn't see things on paper. He couldn't see things unless they were something that he could also reach out and feel. Sho only knew how to draw….and he thought that he was good at drawing….and no matter how good he got Shimazaki would never be able to enjoy something that he drew. Maybe it was for the best, though, because if Shimazaki was ever to get at one of his sketchbooks then Sho would have no choice but to run away.

Because Sho may or may not have had a sketchbook that was mostly just pictures of Shimazaki.

He drew people sometimes, they were hard to draw so he had been practicing, and he had pictures of big sis and stuff. So it was ok to draw people…but this felt…different than drawing big sis. Well of course it was different. He never felt like this about his sister, that would have been wrong, and he shouldn't have felt this way about Shimazaki. Like he just…wanted to be near him all the time. Like he just wanted to reach out and touch him. Hold his hand. Touch his tattoos. Touch the scars they covered up. Feel how his hair stood up. Weird stuff like that.

Sho took a bunch of pictures.

He hadn't seen Shimazaki in a while and he wanted to see him so badly…and he missed him…and he wondered if Shimazaki missed him to. The thought of Shimazaki missing him makes his stomach feel like it was full of all of the fish from this aquarium. He had an aquarium inside of his stomach and he wished that there was some way to just let the fish free in the ocean. He hated these fish and he wanted them out and…and stuff. He didn't like the fish but…but he also sort of did, maybe, a little bit. Because the these fish were like the fish that showed up when he'd kissed Hideki…

All the fish swam away.

The ones in the actual aquarium, of course, not the ones in his stomach. The ones in his stomach were swimming harder and faster than they had in a while….and that was because he hadn't thought about kissing Hideki in a while. How god it had felt. How it had been good and bad at the same time but the most good and the most bad…and how he wanted to…again. He didn't think that…he didn't think that he should have been thinking about that. So he stopped. So he made himself stop. He took a deep breath and…and made himself stop….he made himself think about…

About how hungry he was.

He hadn't eaten a lot because it took a while for him to get his food just right. So that was what he did. He went back to where Fukuda and the others were sitting. It wasn't a long walk but it felt like it. It felt like he was being looked at, like everyone knew what he had been thinking about, and all he wanted to do was climb on onto a table and start screaming 'I have a girlfriend!' and 'She's named Emmy' and 'I'm normal because I have a girlfriend and her name is Emmy' and stuff….but he didn't. He just walked faster. He walked so fast that he was practically running…and then when he got to his chair he practically threw himself down.

Everyone was staring at him.

"I'm super hungry." Said Sho before he went back to taking his noodles from his broth. They really gave you your money's worth here. He wondered how many centimeters of noodles he had. If Shimazaki had been there then they would have taken out all the noodles and stretched them across the place and out the door and around the world together because it would have been fun and Shimazaki and him always had the most fun when they were together…

He stopped using his powers and just shook the noodles out himself.

He didn't care if he got broth everywhere. It was just broth, not toxic waste, and it would dry on it's own. Really it wasn't that bad and he wasn't getting it on anyone else. Big sis would have been mad if she had seen him doing this, though. She would have used her powers to take his bowl away and she would have gotten the broth off of his noodles for him. Well Fukuda wasn't big sis and no matter how much he pretended to be big sis he would never be able to come close to being her.

She would never had tried to make him stop. Not even if dad said something like 'tell Your Brother' to eat normally or let him starve. I don't care.

"Sho….you know when you do that it makes the whole meal take longer, right?" asked Fukuda. Sho shrugged. He knew how to read a clock. He didn't know what the problem was, though. It wasn't like when he had been little and he'd had stuff to do. When he'd been a little kid and Fukuda came over to help mom make dinner on those times when he accidentally bought extra food. Sho was ten now. He didn't need to finish dinner so he'd have enough time to play before bedtime.

"You guy can go if you want. I know how to get home from here. I can read Korean, I'll be fine. It was nice seeing you guys again." said Sho. He would have been happier on his own. Then he could sort his thoughts out…and maybe call….no. He did not need to call big sis. He was not some little baby that couldn't be away from his big sister for more than ten seconds. He was fine and he didn't need to call her and…and he didn't want to call Shimazaki either…because he had never done that before and he missed him but not that much…and stuff…

"No, Sho. I'm not going to leave you alone. I was just saying…well it's kind of boring sitting here while someone takes their soup apart….since there are so many parts…and I know how you hate being boring. I mean I know that your friends hates boring peop-" said Fukuda. Sho stopped listening. Boring. He was being boring…and Shimazaki hated being around boring people….

Sho drank his soup.

He hated it. He hated how there were hard pieces, noodles, in his soup. He hated how he had to chew and drink at the same time. He hated how he couldn't just be able to eat his food the way he wanted to. He hated how wrong he felt. How he felt like everything that he ever did was wrong. He was wrong in the way he did…everything. He had been born wrong and everything that he had ever done was wrong and there was just something wrong….there was just something wrong about him and….he hated that about himself…but he kept on drinking his soup. Shimazaki at least liked him. Shimazaki said, he had said a million times before, that Sho was great the way he was.

But maybe it was better that he didn't eat his lunch however he wanted to…because he had been sort of boring before…and he never wanted to be boring.