Chocolate Tears
…a Saturday in October
The sound of the thunder stopped Emme in the middle of the stairwell. It made her heart
skip a beat and she thought of heading back upstairs in the security of her bed with her
boyfriend's arms wrapped around her. She wanted to bring up some late night snacks
they both needed to keep their strength up. The lightening flashes that seemed to come
though the windows brought back that frightened three-year-old feeling when she would
run to her Mother's room for comfort. If it was just rain she could've handled it. Maybe, it
was because the real terror was inside this house. It had nothing to do with the outside.
There was a loud krinkly noise coming from the kitchen. It sounded like pieces of tin foil
being torn off from its box.
All her mind saw were segments as if trying to protect her from seeing the whole image.
A hand with a twenty-five karat diamond on the ring finger clawing into the grocery store
cake and pressed into a mouth. Trying to sustain the body as the figure was hunched
into a corner. Emme's stomach turned over when a big hunk of cake fell to the floor and
the round plastic tray that the cake was on was licked clean.
It was like a mentally retarded child or a person of similar incompetence was in the
room and not the woman who got straight marks at the Simply Charming school back in
the day when models like Cheryl Tiegs were not thin as wafer cookies and the natural
look was "in". Not the woman who knew basic French and tried to teach her non-
interested daughter who would rather roll around the grounds. Getting grass stains on
her frilly-white party dress and then getting a strawberry scented bubble bath
afterwards.
Their laughter making them bond.
When she felt two hands on her shoulders she silently gasped, as she was terrified of
making a sound.
Mrs. Martinez shooed her along. Emme didn't need to see anymore. She took what
strength she had to run up the stairs. She didn't go inside her bedroom once she got
there she just slid down to the floor. The tears were not coming.
He sat next to her ten minutes later when his worries about where she was couldn't
keep him lying in bed without her any longer.
"Emme," He knew this had to be about Mrs. Watson, "What happened?"
Emme stood up unable to look her boyfriend in the eyes. Drake had the most beautiful
eyes. That she just couldn't look into them not when she was going to say what she had
to say.
"Drake, I don't think we should see each other anymore." She tried to stand up and turn
into her room, but he gently grabbed her arm to stop her.
He always made sure to let go after doing so.
"Where did that come from?"
He followed her back into her room.
"Relationships are supposed to happy wonderful things and every time we're together, I
have to bring you down with my family strife. It's not right. You deserve to be happy,
Drake." She started to cry. Her body needed the release.
"You're not bringing me down, Emme. I am happy in this relationship. And as far as
breaking up goes, that's just not going to happen."
He pulled her in for a tight embrace.
"But Drake, I love you so much. You don't need these burdens. You have cancer."
"So do you. I love you very much and there's no way I'm letting you run away."
"But I like I said I wanted to give you an out."
"Well, I'm giving you an in."
She pulled back to put her hands on his cheeks and went to kiss him on the lips.
"I have to get some bottled water out of my Mom's mini fridge."
"I'll walk with you. What happened?" She held onto his hand tight. He had every
opportunity to leave and he still wanted to stay?
"My Mother was on the floor in the kitchen like a dog in her usual drunken stupor eating
cake with her hands. Then she licked the round plastic tray like a dog. It was the most
disgusting thing that I've ever seen! And you still want to stay?" Emme handed him a
water bottle.
"Yes. My heart really goes out to you. My Mom told me last night that my aunt Patty was
an alcoholic. I didn't know because I was three years old when she went to rehab. And
the part that'll make you feel better is that she's been sober 1990. It's not something
anyone talked about as we sometimes keep everything inside in our family."
"I bet she had to hit rock bottom before going to rehab."
"Yeah. Mom didn't get into specifics and I didn't want to push it, as I know it was hard
for her to talk about her sister. But she wanted me to tell you that story. We're all
concerned for you and your Mom."
Emme closed the door when they got back to her bedroom.
"Tell your Mom thanks for me." They got back into bed and Emme wished that Drake
didn't have to go tomorrow morning. All of their time together seemed so fleeting.
"I will," Drake kissed Emme on the lips, "I hope that you feel somewhat better, honey."
"A little. Would you be disappointed if I just wanted to be held?"
"Never."
"You don't want that out. Do you Drake? You really want to be my boyfriend even though
the going is tough in this house?"
"Emme Jessica Watson," he kissed her shaking hands, "I'm afraid that you are stuck
with me forever."
"I'm afraid that you've got yourself a deal."
She fell asleep soon after their goodnight kisses. Her body and mind completely
exhausted.
Drake looked at the ceiling. He almost wanted to shake the sense back into Mrs.
Watson, but like his aunt Patty, they have to hit their own rock bottom to understand the
gravity of the situation. They don't want to be told that they have drinking problem. They
have to realize that they do, it was the only way Emme's mother would seek help.
It was the first time that Drake realized something. He wanted to keep blocking it out. If
he could put duct tape over the windows in his mind he would have done so.
If he could put his hand in his brain and pull out the unthinkable thought to flush it down
the toilet he would have done that also.
Drake bit on his lip to stop his own tears from forming. He kissed Emme on the head
and whispered a soft 'I love you' before falling into an uncertain sleep.
Emme could die.