Sho was excited.

"Are we there yet?" asked Sho. He was practically bouncing up and down in his seat. They had said goodbye to Korea, finally, and now they were on their way back to Japan. Well not back to, he had come to Korea from Russia and then from England to Russia before that, but…it had been a while and he was Japanese anyway. He was headed back to Japan with Fukuda, finally, and he just could not wait…and not because he was Japanese and he would finally be back where he knew what everyone was saying all the time.

No, that wasn't it at all.

He was going back to Seasoning City, back to the Seventh Division, and back to see his baby sister. Well not his sister for real, no, but he liked to pretend. It was easy to pretend. She had red hair and blue eyes like him. She'd even had some freckles when he'd last seen her. He wondered if her new mom knew to keep her out of the sun. Her skin might burn and she might end up with even more freckles…not that he minded her freckles. No, he just knew how hard it could be to grow up in Japan being all different and stuff….how hard it could be…

And he couldn't be there for her to make it any easier.

He couldn't be there to tell her that it was ok not to look like anyone else. She looked like herself and that was what mattered. She was the best baby sister in the world and that was what mattered. That was what you were supposed to say to a younger sibling. That was the stuff that big sis was always saying to him. She was always telling him how it didn't matter what he looked like, how it only mattered that he was a good person, and that she loved him. He had been listening to her for his entire life and now he was glad. Even if she could be annoying and bossy and she could treat him like a baby sometimes she was still good at being a big sis.

And he was going to use what she had taught him to be a good big brother.

As good as he could possibly be, of course, considering the fact that this was not his little sister. She was an orphan that dad had brought home before his big three week away mission. She had been their pretend sister only but it had been very easy to pretend. She had fit right into their family…and he wondered if he fit into hers. He wondered if she even still remembered him. He wondered if she could walk yet, or talk, and if she would walk away from him and never talk to him again…because he had missed Christmas and her birthday…and she might not have even been able to remember that he even existed….

He needed to stop thinking that way.

He pulled at a thread in his sock as he pressed his head against the cool glass of the window. He could see the ocean underneath them. He had no idea how close to Japan they were. It felt like they had been in the sky for days and days now even though he knew that it hadn't been that long. Fukuda had said that it would be a short flight. Well how short was short? Sho wanted to see baby sis NOW before she forgot about him even more than she had before. Before she got any angrier at him than she must have been right now. He had missed some very important times in her life after all. He had been no kind of a big brother to her…and it hadn't been his fault. He wasn't even supposed to be seeing her, Fukuda had said, because if people thought that she was a for real Suzuki then she would be in danger. He couldn't keep her safe, bring her back with him, because then she would have a life like his. She would be dad's kid and then he would tell her mean things about herself and hit her and put her in an Awakening machine and then….and then she would have scars all over her body like he did but they wouldn't be cool because she was just a baby and a baby should not have had to go through what he'd gone through. She was better off with her mom and…and he hoped that one day she would be able to forgive him for not being there for her.

For leaving her.

"Are we at least almost there?" asked Sho. Fukuda was still looking down at his laptop. He had better not have been playing Minecraft or something over there. Sho didn't get what adults loved about that game. What dad loved about that game. Maybe because he was such a bossy jerk that he needed a whole game where his bossiness would be rewarded. He had to control everything after all. Dad was the sort of person who always had to be the boss, that was why he was going to take over the whole world, so of course he would love a game where all he did was build things. Seriously. He never went on quests or killed things or anything. He just built stuff over and over again. He sucked like that.

And Fukuda had better not have started to suck too.

Well he sort of….he had been so bossy on this trip. Telling him when to take baths and when to change clothes and when to eat and what to eat and how to eat and that he needed to pick up his stuff and that he shouldn't watch movies where people got their organs ripped out and eaten and stuff. Fukuda had been on his case for weeks now, weeks and weeks, but maybe this was just what he was like after all of this time together.

Even the last away mission hadn't taken this long.

And they weren't even anywhere near done with this. He had to do some stuff at the Seventh Division and while he was working then Sho could spend all the time with baby Mukai that he wanted to. They could watch her baby shows and play with paper towel roll holders and they could make socks talk and scribbled on pages and he could feed her…but not change her. That was what her new mom was for. He could maybe give her a bath again. She had liked bath time. He would be careful not to get any water in her eyes or hair or on her face. That was the worst…

Well for him.

She was not hm. She would never be awakened….even though they made awakened at the Seventh Division. If her new mom tried to put her in an awakening machine Sho would take her and run away with her. He didn't care if he was only ten. He didn't care if dad would hunt him down. He didn't care if he would be taking her from her mom. She did not need to be put through what he had bene put through. Even if she had no powers. Even if she barely even had any powers. She was not going to end up like him…and he would seriously hurt anyone who tried to hurt her.

He would keep his baby sister safe.

"Fukuda, can you at least tell me how much longer?" asked Sho. He got the feeling that he was being ignored. He got the feeling that Fukuda was just sitting there doing something stupid and pretending that Sho was just a mosquito buzzing in his ear or something. He got the feeling that Fukuda didn't want to talk to him or to be near him. He got the feeling that he had wished too hard, in those times when he was all alone in the night feeling small and scared and so painfully alone even if big sis was right there in the bed next to him, that Fukuda was his dad. For his entire life he had been wishing that Fukuda had been his dad and not dad. That Fukuda had been the one married to mom. That Fukuda was his dad and that…that….

Things that were not true.

But he was acting like dad now. He was sitting there and typing something and just….not looking at Sho or talking to him. This plane was so big. This plane was built for more than two people. They took the same kind of plane everywhere. This was where he and Fukuda would have been sitting if the others had been there. Minegishi would be using Shimazaki as a pillow, because they were just a jerk plain and simple, over there. Shibata would have been keeping Hatori calm in the seats across from them. On the other side would have been dad and big sis. Now it was just him and Fukuda….but it felt like it was just him. He was Sho and he felt all alone….

He needed to calm down.

He would be seeing big sis soon. He would be seeing her soon and then they would be able to play and have fun and…and they would have fun. It would be just like old times, Sho and Mukai, being brother and sister. But pretend. The only person missing was big sis but she couldn't have come even if she had wanted to. This was supposed to be a secret and she couldn't keep a secret even if her life had depended on it. So she couldn't know. Sho was alone in this secret. Sho and Fukuda….even though Fukuda was off in his own little world…and Sho was still there. He was still there with his face pressed against the cold glass of the window….

He didn't want to be alone.

Fine. If Fukuda was planning on ignoring him then Sho would make himself un-ignorable. Sho got up and thought about climbing out onto the wing of the plane….but then he thought about how stupid an idea that was. He couldn't teleport and Fukuda would totally notice the emergency door opening…and also he had no way of catching himself if he fell off because he couldn't fly from this height and at this speed….probably. He had never tested it out before.

He didn't go out onto the wing of the plane.

But he did go across to sit next to Fukuda. Fukuda didn't notice him. He was typing something out and then erasing it and then typing it out again. He always hit the keyboard way too hard when he typed. Dad did that too. Fukuda had said that it was because he and dad had learned how to type on old mechanical keyboards and typewriters. You had to strike the keys hard in those days, Fukuda had said, and he had never broken the habit. Even though it was way too loud, and sort of annoying, he hadn't broken the habit….but then he went and told Sho that cursing was a bad habit and that he needed to break it.

The hell with that.

Sho was good at cursing. Shimazaki had told him so and Shimazaki had never told him one lie in their entire friendship. He said that lairs were boring. He said that telling people lies could be fun, like when they told Hatori that they had put a poisonous snake in his bed when it had only been a garden snake, but most of the time the truth was much more interesting than fiction. Sho knew that Shimazaki had never lied to him and never about anything as serious as telling him that he was good at cursing. He was.

He was the best at cursing. The fucking best.

He thought about cursing to get Fukuda's attention. Telling him to type like a normal fucking person. Telling him to stop ignoring him like a goddamned mother fucking cock sucker. Sho had no idea what cock sucker meant but he knew that it would get Fukuda's attention. Fukuda always turned white when he said that, when he said that someone or something was a cock sucker, and Shimazaki had always said that there was no greater joy than freaking people out.

He was smart like that.

He was smart and fun and funny and he was always up for something no matter how crazy. Big sis said that he acted like a crazy person and she was right. He said that when he had been very young he had vowed that he would live his life as freely as possible. He would do whatever he wanted to whenever he wanted to and he would live without any consequences, either, but that part was harder, he had said. Consequences were why he was in Claw. Well he was in Claw because he had let his dad die, because he had done a lot of drinking and smoking and stuff, and also because he had done gross stuff with a lot of people that he had not been allowed to do that stuff with. He had done all of that and now he could never go back.

And Sho knew that he should have been sad that Shimazaki had been kicked out of his yakuza family and all but he was happy, selfishly happy, because if Shimazaki had never been kicked out then he and Sho would never have made friends.

Sho felt it again, the swimming feeling in his stomach. He got this whenever he thought about Shimazaki. He got this feeling in his stomach and…and he wanted….he wanted something but he didn't know what it was. He wanted to be near Shimazaki but also…more. He sometimes had this weird feeling that he just had to be next to him. Like he wanted Shimazaki to pick him up or something. Pick him up and hold him close…and also kiss him…and that was when he woke up. He woke up after that part of the dream or daydream and did something. Anything. Sometimes he played videogames, sometimes he watched TV, sometimes he jumped on the bed, and sometimes he drew….but drawing pictures could be very dangerous. Sometimes his pencil had a mind of it's own. Sometimes he drew Shimazaki. Sometimes he drew….well he drew a lot of things…

He would not be drawing now.

He needed to stop thinking about Shimazaki so he decided to be nosy. He knew that he was not supposed to just go around looking at other people's screens but he did a lot of things that he was not supposed to do. He leaned over, Fukuda was too busy typing on his laptop like he was mad at it to notice, and he started to read what Fukuda was writing…

And he didn't get past the first two words.

"Dear Masami…..?" said Sho quietly. He must have been seeing it wrong. That said Masami. He knew that those three characters, the ones for true and fine and beauty, Ma Sa Mi. Masami. Mom. That was mom's name. He leaned in closer. Maybe he needed to get his eyes fixed. That was mom's name. Fukuda had written down mom's name…and not much else because he kept on restarting….but no matter how close he looked the characters didn't change.

Ma. True.

Sa. Fine.

Mi. Beauty.

Sho knew his own mom's given name. That had been one of the first given names he had ever been able to write. Dad had taught it to him, actually, when he had been little. Mom's name meant true, fine, beauty because that was what her parents had wanted for her. Parents have their kids names for the things that they wanted them to be. That was why he was called Sho with the character for leader. That was why big sis was called Shigeko with the characters for nurturing child. People's names were a reflection of who you were.

So did Fukuda mean 'guy who slammed a laptop shit in your face like a jerk'?

"What the fuck!?" shouted Sho. He jumped back into his seat. Fukuda had slammed his laptop shut and now his aura was flaring and he was breathing heavy….and if anyone had the right to be upset it was Sho! That had been HIS mom that Fukuda had been writing to! His mom! The mom who was his and no one else's! Well she was also big sis' mom….but she was his mom and not Fukuda's!

"Sho! Don't just lean over and look at people's private screens like that! It's impolite!" said Fukuda as he popped some ear plugs out….and THAT was why he had been ignoring Sho….so he was a friend ignorer and a mother…email….writer….guy….

He was a cock sucker that was what he was!

"Fuck you! A thousand times fuck you! You're a mother fucking mother email writing cock sucker!" shouted Sho. He stood up on his seat. He didn't care if his shoes were on the seat and people were supposed to sit there and he was getting it dirty and stuff….he didn't care! He just cared that…that…that FUKUDA had been emailing MOM!

His own mother….

She had been gone for so long…and the whole time….the WHOLE MOTHER FUCKING TIME Fukuda'd had her EMAIL ADDRESS! Like…..like….what!? Why hadn't he told anyone!? Mom could have been back with them! All Fukuda had to do was tell Hatori to tell dad where mom's emails were coming from, he could tell with his powers, and then they could have gone and picked her up and then…and then everything would have been better! Just like it had been before! She could have been back with them and then…and then they could have pretended that she had never left…and they could have gone back to the Castle…and they could have pretended that she had never left….

But Fukuda had been keeping this from him...from big sis….from dad…..from EVERYONE!

"Language!" said Fukuda. Sho didn't mean to do what he did next. He didn't mean to pull his fist back, he hadn't meant to make one at all, and he certainly hadn't meant to send his fist flying right into Fukuda's face. He hadn't meant to do that at all but he had done that and then Fukuda's laptop fell to the ground and he had a mark on his face….which healed…

And then he grabbed Sho's arm so he couldn't hit him again.

But Sho had another arm and this one also had a fist at the end and that fist also made contact with Fukuda's face. He knew that if big sis had been there she would have been so upset with him…he knew that she would have been telling him that hitting people was wrong. He knew that if baby sis had been watching him that she would have probably thought that hitting was alright because she was the baby sis and he was the big brother and if he did something then she would automatically think that it was alright.

He needed to stop.

He forced himself to stop. There was no fun in fighting someone who didn't fight back, Shimazaki had said, and if he had been there then he would have said…he would have told Sho to keep on hitting Fukuda because he liked a good fight and also he didn't like Fukuda for some reason….unless Fukuda was secretly emailing his mom too….like if he could email people from this side and his emails would get to the other side….or something….Sho didn't know!

He just didn't know…..

"Sho. Stop it. I can explain….well I could explain if you would just stop this. You are acting like a child right now and I need you to stop." Said Fukuda. He was talking like…Sho had never heard him talking like that before…but then again he had a right to talk like this. Like he was mad at Sho. Sho had hit him in the face a bunch of times after all….but for good reason! He hadn't just gone nuts! He had a good reason to hit Fukuda!

"I AM a child! I'm ten!" said Sho

"Then act like it and stop trying to hit me. Stop screaming and stop trying to hit me." Said Fukuda

"No!" said Sho

"Stop it and let me explain!" said Fukuda

"How the hell are you going to explain that you were writing MY MOM an email!? My own fucking mother fucking mother!" said Sho. He didn't know if he had been insulting Fukuda or mom then but he didn't care. He just needed words that could show how he felt inside. He felt…he felt like Fukuda had kicked him in the chest until his heart came out through his nose….and he needed words to show how he felt!

"Sho….stop cursing." Said Fukuda. He let go of Sho's arms and sat back in his seat. Sho pulled his arms into his shirt so that he would stop hurting Fukuda…even though he deserved it. Even though Fukuda had been keeping a very big secret and….and he'd just….he'd betrayed Sho. He knew what this feeling was. This was like when he had heard Shimazaki doing that stuff with Minegishi but….different…and also somehow WORSE.

"Why? Why should I listen to you when you've been keeping this a secret from me? Huh? Huh!?" asked Sho

"Because….you haven't let me explain. Sho your mother…she loves you and….and the thing she did…all the things she did….were because…." Said Fukuda. What the ever loving fucking fuck did that fucking bitch…bastard because he was a guy…think that he knew about mom?! Huh?! Mom was not his mom, she was Sho's mom, and Sho knew his own mother! Fukuda…Fukuda had been able to talk to her the WHOLE TIME! So maybe….maybe….maybe he knew mom better now….

Or something.

"You've been able to talk to mom this whole time….the whole time….and you never said anything…." Said Sho. He could feel tears coming from his eyes. He felt one run down his cheek and then onto his shirt. He reached his hands up through the neck hole of his shirt and wiped his eyes. Fukuda pulled his sleeve down over his hand and reached over to dry Sho's tears. Sho moved back out of his range. Fukuda could have reached farther but he didn't. He just sat back in his chair and sighed.

"Sho….sometimes things are more complicated than they appear to be at first." Said Fukuda. He had his head in his hands. Sho wiped more of his tears. He didn't care that he was stretching out the neck hole and that big sis would be mad at him for doing that. Mom would have been mad at him too…and maybe Fukuda should put that in the email…the email to mom….and then maybe she would come back…if only to tell him not to mess up his clothes….

"What's complicated? You've been talking to my mom….you betrayed me. You knew….you knew how to talk to mom this whole time…and you….you betrayed me. You're a traitor. You're a traitor and you belong in a traitor hole….you traitor." Said Sho. He stared at Fukuda. He stared at Fukuda the way dad stared at him. With all of his focus…with all of his angry focus. Because he was angry. Fukuda…he was a traitor. Fukuda who he had loved more than his own dad for all of these years….he was a traitor….and traitors rotted in traitor holes.

"Sho…you would really throw me in a traitor hole?" asked Fukuda. He was scared then, good, he should have been. He had been keeping secrets, a big secret, not some little secret like he bit his toe nails or used girl shampoo, a big secret about mom. About how he had been getting into contact with her. That was….that was the sort of thing a traitor would have done….and traitors rotted in traitor holes.

"Yes. You know how to talk to my mom. You're been keeping a big secret from me, the biggest secret, and that's something that a traitor would do…so that means that you deserve to be in a traitor hole." Said Sho

"Sho…that's very hurtful." Said Fukuda. Sho didn't care. Sho didn't care if he made him break down and cry like baby sis when her bottle ran out. He didn't care how bad he made Fukuda feel. Sho felt bad…he felt so bad…and he wanted to make Fukuda feel WORSE.

"So is what you've been doing! You've been talking to my mom behind my back. You know where she is!" said Sho. He didn't care if he was talking too loud or if his aura was flaring or if Fukuda was getting scared of him. He wanted Fukuda to be scared of him. He had been keeping….keeping this secret…this huge secret from him…like it had been….ben nothing.

"Sho-" said Fukuda

"How could you just keep something this big from me? Do you…do you know….I haven't seen her in so long! I haven't seen her or spoken to her or…or anything! And she's my MOM! And you've been talking to her this whole time like it's been nothing at all! Like…like…like you've been….like you've been talking to someone else…someone who's just like everyone else….but my mom….she's not like anyone else in the whole world…because she's my mom…and she's gone. She's my mom and she's gone and I just…I want my mom back! I want my mom back and you've been keeping her from me! You've known where she's been this whole time and you've been keeping this from me for….for how long?! How long have you known where my mother is!? What the FUCK is my MOTHER?!" screamed Sho. Fukuda put a hand on his shoulder. Sho pushed it off so hard he wouldn't have been surprised if he ripped his arm from his socket.

"I don't have the first clue where your mother is." Said Fukuda. Sho narrowed his eyes. Of course he knew. He had been emailing mom for…well he didn't know how long this had been going on for but he knew that it would not have been any trouble at all for Fukuda to ask her for her new address.

"Liar." Said Sho. He hated being lied to…and now Fukuda was lying to his friend….and he had claimed that he and Sho were friends…but now he was lying. Lying was bad enough but lying to a friend was even more terrible than usual lying.

"No, I'm not." Said Fukuda. That was exactly what a liar would have said. A liar would never have said that he was lying. That was the point of being a liar, for people to always think that you're telling the truth even though you were lying like a big, fat liar!

"Yes you are." Said Sho. He kept his eyes narrowed and his aura focused. Fukuda had been lying before, for years, and he was lying now. Just lies on top of lies on top of lies…like a big, fat, mother fucking, mother emailing, liar!

"No, I'm not." Said Fukuda. He was still trying to be calm but Sho could see the cracks in his aura. He could see how Fukuda was grabbing his knees so hard that his knuckles were turning white. He could see how Fukuda's nails were digging into his pants and how his aura was trying to flare….and stuff….and he was a liar because if he hadn't been a liar then he wouldn't have had to try and make himself calm like that!

"Are too!" Yelled Sho. He yelled so loud that his throat hurt. Spit flew out of his mouth and onto Fukuda…and maybe that had been the last straw…because now Fukuda was letting his aura flare. His aura was flaring and…and Sho was not afraid.

"No! I am not a liar! I….I have no clue where your mother is. I swear on my life that I have no clue where your mother is." Said Fukuda. His hands went wrong being fists to just being normal hands. He was leaning back in his seat now. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Sho saw….Sho saw what looked like a tear collect in the corner of his eye…or maybe that was a spit glob…either way Sho felt like a jerk…because even if Fukuda had been a lying betrayer….Sho had still hit him and spat at him…and that had been a lot of very jerky stuff to do to someone who he loved and who loved him.

"Then…then why are you emailing her…..behind my back…and stuff…?" asked Sho through a sniffle.

"Sho….these emails…they don't go anywhere. Your mother…she hasn't checked this email address in years. She hasn't replied to one of my messages since…since she left." Said Fukuda quietly.

"Then….they why are you even sending them? If she can't read them then what's even the point?" asked Sho. Fukuda…..he was telling the truth….but the truth made no sense. Mom….mom never emailed him back…..because she was gone.

"Because…because I miss her. I miss her and when I write these out….I just…I feel better. I write these when…when there's a lot going on in my life…or yours…and your sister's. I like to pretend that she can read them. That she's out there somewhere reading them and thinking about me…thinking about all of us." Said Fukuda. Sho sniffled again. Fukuda missed her too. He missed her and…and Sho missed her…and big sis missed her…and maybe it was like how he missed big sis. How he would wake up in the middle of the night, roll over, and not see her there. How he would bring his phone over with his powers and just…send her text messages but delete them…or how he would just…hold his phone and pretend that he was talking to her….and stuff. He couldn't call her. He was not a baby. He was not the useless baby that dad said he was. He could do an away mission. He was not a baby….even though he did feel like one sometimes….and so did Fukuda…and that made him feel….sort of….better. At least a little bit better….because at least he wasn't the only baby on that plane.

"That….that makes sense. Like how sometimes…sometimes when I wake up and I'm lonely I pretend that big sis is there….even though she's not." Said Sho

"It's not quite the same." Said Fukuda with a dry laugh. The kind of laugh that had no happiness or joy in it at all.

"How do you figure?" asked Sho. Missing someone was missing someone…..and missing someone made you a baby…so they were both babies together. Right?

"Because you can call your sister whenever you want to. Your mother….not a day goes by that I don't wish that I could just…call her." said Fukuda. Sho frowned. He missed mom like that too…but he had come from her. He had been her son for most of his life. He loved his mom and it made sense that he missed her that much…and he knew that big sis missed her too even though she knew that she was not supposed to miss their mom and stuff….and also dad missed mom too because if he hadn't missed her at least a little bit then he wouldn't have made the rule about not talking about her. He would have just not cared at all….or maybe not because he didn't know how to love anyone other than himself….himself or big sis….

"Why?" asked Sho

"Why what?" asked Fukuda

"Why do you miss my mom so much? I mean she's my mom and I miss her…and she's big sis' mom and she misses her…and she's dad's wife but he doesn't know how to love anyone other than himself and big sis….so why do you miss her so much?" asked Sho

"Because…she was a very good friend to me…and I cared about her a lot. It's painful having someone you love leave you…and you know that more than I do. You lost your mother….I just lost….a very good friend." Said Fukuda

"Oh…I guess….it makes sense…but don't tell dad that we were talking about mom." Said Sho. Dad would put them in a traitor hole together if he had heard even a word of this conversation…and it wasn't fair. He couldn't even talk about his own mom…but dad was dad…and nobody argued with dad about anything ever….unless they were big sis….

"I wouldn't dream of it. I know how he is about her…and you know how he is, too. Please don't tell your dad about me having had been friends with your mom. Your dad…he can't tell love from…from wanting to possess someone. He never let her have friends because he wanted to be her everything….and that's unhealthy. When you love someone you want them to be happy….and I know that if he knew that your mom and I were friends then…then he would get upset." Said Fukuda

"I get it…dad would get mad because he only wanted mom to be friends with him." said Sho. Dad was the same way with big sis. She had to be his only friend and she had to spend her whole Sunday with him and she had to sleep in the same bed as him and watch TV with him and go places with him…and stuff. Yeah, Sho knew how his dad could be.

"Exactly. So you should keep this to yourself. Ok? Don't tell your friends or your sister, ok? You know what your dad would do to me…and it would be worse than a traitor hole." Said Fukuda. Sho knew what he meant. Dad….he did all sorts of things to traitors…but it made no sense for dad to be mad at this. He and Fukuda had been friends before, when they had been kids, and then it would have made sense for dad to have wanted his wife and his best friend to be friends. Like how he wanted Emmy and big sis to be friends…or maybe it was like how he didn't want Shimazaki and big sis to be friends….and stuff. Yeah, he could see it now. How upset dad would have been to know that he hadn't been invited to all of those dinners and movie nights and sleepovers and stuff.

"OK, I'll keep to myself. I get why dad would be upset. You and mom were having dinner and hanging out with me and mom and having sleep overs and stuff back when me and big sis were little." Said Sho. He hadn't known that Fukuda had cared so much about mom…but he had. He had cared so much that his normally calm aura was slamming into Sho's now like it was trying to run away.

"You….remember all of that?" asked Fukuda. He looked so sad now…and Sho didn't blame him. Dad was no kind of friend to him now and he hadn't been any kind of friend to him then, too, so it made sense that Fukuda would have picked mom to be his new best friend…and it made sense that Fukuda would have been sad to see his best friend gone.

"Yeah. You and mom would have sleepover sometimes where you would hang out all night and jump on the bed and stuff. I remember." Said Sho. Those must have been fun. Mom had been sort of sad and tired all the time, sick, he remembered but Fukuda had made her feel better when he had been around. They had done friend stuff. Maybe it was like no matter how sad he was feeling being with Shimazaki could always make him feel better. That was what best friends were for.

"Sho….don't ever tell your dad about that. Ever. Or he will kill me. I am not exaggerating. If you ever breathe a word of that to your father he will murder me with his own two hands and then you won't have me anymore. Do you want that?" asked Fukuda. He had Sho by both shoulders now and he was staring into his eyes….and Sho didn't get it. He wasn't stupid. He knew what dad did to people he didn't like.

"I'm not an idiot and I'm not a traitor. You know that I don't want dad to kill you. I can keep a secret. God!" said Sho as he shoved Fukuda's hands off of him. It was hard because his arms were still in his shirt…and he put them back through his sleeve holes.

"I never said that you were….and you're right. You can keep a secret. You're old enough to keep my secrets…and I'll keep yours." Said Fukuda

"Well, duh, we'd both get in trouble if dad knew that we were talking about mom." Said Sho

"Not only that, I'll keep any and all of your secrets. Ok? Just….I will never betray you. Everything that I've done, and everything that I will ever do, has been and will be for you. Ok Sho? Remember. It's always for you." Said Fukuda. Sho knew why he was saying that. Accusing someone of betrayal….he had gone very far. Too far. He knew that being a traitor was the worst thing that you could be. That was why traitors rotted in traitor holes and were used for experiments and other stuff. Traitors were the worst sort of people….and he had accused Fukuda of being the worst sort of person.

He had fucked up.

But he could fix this. He got up on his knees and leaned over. He didn't care that his dirty shoes were getting all over the seat. He didn't care how stretched out the neck hole of his shirt was. He didn't care about any of that. He just cared about leaning over and hugging Fukuda as best as he could. About making this better.

Because he had fucked up.

"Fukuda….you're not a traitor…and I'm sorry that I called you that. I'm sorry that I called you a traitor and that I said that you betrayed me. You didn't and you never will. I'm sorry about all the things that I said and did." Said Sho quietly. He felt Fukuda's arms around him after a delay. Fukuda was holding him close. He was holding him close and rubbing his back….and Sho held him close right back…

"Sho….it's ok. It's ok. It's….it's always going to be ok. You and me….we're ok. We're always going to be ok so let's….let's just put all of this behind us. You're going to see your sister again. Aren't you excited? Think about that. Think about…about her and how much you love her. How we're going back to Japan. Aren't you excited?" asked Fukuda. Sho nodded. He nodded into Fukuda's shirt and then he pulled away and nodded like normal.

"Yeah…I am. I'm excited." Said Sho. He was excited. He was going to see his baby sister…his pretend baby sister…again. He was going to see her again and they were going to spend time together and…and if she had forgotten him then she would…she would never forget him again. She would always know that she had a brother and his name was Sho. She had a brother named Sho and he loved her and even if they couldn't be together he always wanted to be with her…and then one day when she got older, old enough to write, she could email him…and he would email her right back….

And he was so excited for when that day would come.