Charlie is sitting on the beach, watching the waves. He's got really big ears, bright blue yes, that are gray. And other I imagine. Claire is a pregnant lady with long, blonde hair and a surly disposition. Claire approaches, armed with a small child.
They had a fight. blah, Charlie isn't on drugs, but Claire's a stupid bint. No explanation needed.
"Hiiii, Charlie!" She crooned in her most flirtatious voice, whipping her blond locks are her as she smiled. Charlie began to cry unduly. Claire continued to smile. Charlie continued to cry. Dr. Jack walked up to them from the MYSTERIOUS JUNGLE.
Dr. Jack is a tall, skin-headed doctor of mythology from Crayola University. He is always squinting, even at night, he is squinting. Always- rain or shine, and it doesn't snow on islands, but if it did, well then Squinty would be sure to keep up the good work. Doesn't his face hurt after a while? I guess he's just used to it.
Squinty squinted and stated the obvious to Claire. "Charlie's crying." Claire nodded. SUDDENLY- a grapefruit thrown by a jealous Fugitive Kate smacked the backside of Claire's head. Jack, whose squint has gotten rather tighter lately, doesn't see what happens, but hears a thick clunk.
"Wha-wha-wha happen-ned?" He stammered perfectly. Claire screamed, "SHE'S TRYING TO HURT MY BABY!" And Squinty, thinking that Charlie was extremely effeminate, pressed the lock-shaped button on his super-conveyor-belt and John Locke, a bald exparaplegic, beat the crap out of the still wimpy Charlie. This really didn't make any sense so they cut to a Wireless Commercial.
TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER TWO