A/N: Wow…there are so many people I need to credit chapters to…I guess I'll start with the people who gave me the ideas that are featured in this installment of everyone's favorite Sue-bashing poem. Thanks to Anne and Kyoumi and NightShadows131 for sparking inspiration. There are other people who will have their ideas used in later chapters, so hold on tight until then. If anyone else wants to submit an idea, leave me a review and I'll gladly credit you in the chapter that it's used in.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my blinding hatred for Mary Sues. I think we can all be proud of that.
…
Canon characters.
They sound important don't they?
Not to a Sue.
What do you think Sues are for?
They sneak into our favorite animes,
And are always more beautiful
And skillful
And intelligent
Than the main characters.
In other words,
the characters that actually matter.
The Mary Sue always seems to have a more tortured past.
She's suffered this great tragedy,
Yet has remained ever kind and gentle,
Kind of like Cinderella,
Only in our eyes,
Sues are more like,
the wicked stepsister.
Oh, authors,
Can't you see?
You're not fooling anyone,
When you stick a Mary Sue in a story.
We all know what you're really doing.
You're trying to place yourself,
(Well, a 'better' version of yourself)
in with your favorite anime men.
It's one thing if you have,
a sick fantasy life,
It's another if you clutter up my fandoms,
With your stupid attempts at making yourself perfect.
Which brings me,
To another point.
Self-insertion fics.
Excuse me as I practice my projectile vomiting.
Enough said.
There's one more point I have to make,
Which will give Mary Sues a break,
From my constant bashing of them.
This goes out to all you fangirls,
Who love your Kagome x Sesshoumaru.
It's one thing to write a fic,
It's another to write the same fic fifty thousand times.
Basic Kag x Sesh plotline—
Kagome becomes Sesshoumaru's mate after:
a) Kagome saw InuYasha with Kikyo
b) InuYasha died
c) Kagome got kidnapped by Sesshoumaru
d) Kagome got kidnapped by Naraku and saved by Sesshoumaru.
Why,
Can't you ever,
Write about something else?
For those few of you who have,
I applaud you.
Somehow,
You have managed to break free,
Of yet another overdone,
Overplayed,
Overdramatic,
Overdose of stupidity.
The end.
A/N: Man, I just keep getting meaner and meaner. This time I know I offended someone. Just know, those of you who aren't too busy lighting torches and gathering pitchforks to still be reading this, I say it all in a spirit of good-natured parody. Write whatever you want with whatever characters you want. It's your right. And, after all, if it weren't for Mary Sues, I wouldn't have this poem. Happy readings, and be sure to review me with questions/comments/suggestions. Also, I have a livejournal that you may want to check out: http/ www . livejournal . com/users/hieiaijin1410/