The beach was hot and it was full of sand.
But Sho still liked it. Even though he had to be in long sleeves and long pants. Even though he had forgotten to put on sunscreen so his face was getting all red. Even though the bottoms of his jeans were wet and heavy and they were really annoying. Even though sometimes he stepped on pieces of shells and they really hurt. Even though he really wished that he could go swimming and he could have if not for these stupid scars. Even though while he was hot the water was cold and standing in it in wet jeans and no shoes wasn't really a good feeling. Even though-
-there's sand in his hair.
Someone dumped a hand full of sand in his hair. Wet sand. Now there's wet sand in his hair and on his back and his back is wet…and he can't just let this be. No, now he has to retaliate. It's the rules of sand. He reaches into the water with both hands. He raises his left and….yup. He went right…
-and got a handful of sand to the chest.
"Well somebody got clever." Said Shimazaki as he wiped the wet sand off of his chest. He was just in his shirt now, not his jacket, and it was weird seeing his tattoos after all this time…and in the light of day. There were people around, not a lot of people but enough, and it was just…weird that he was showing his tattoos to everyone. Tattoos were different here. People didn't care. Some people looked at him…and that wasn't very nice…but nobody said anything or tried to kick them out…so that was good.
He really wished that people would stop looking at Shimazaki though.
When people looked at him Sho got this feeling…like he was mad. Like he was mad and scared at the same time. He didn't know what was making him feel like this. Shimazaki was cool, and his tattoos were cool, and so of course people would want to stare….and he probably didn't even know that people were staring. Yeah. Sand made things look fuzzy and water made things look fuzzy so things just….looked fuzzy. He probably didn't even notice that guy over there who looked like he was reading the list of dates on Shimazaki's arm….dates that Sho didn't even know the importance of….it didn't matter. Sho was the one with wet sand in his hair.
And down his back too….but that was fine.
"No, you just got predictable. You can read my movements but then that just makes it easy to trick you." Said Sho
"Or maybe I just let you have that one." said Shimazaki
"You didn't. I got you fair and square." Said Sho
"Yeah…well water makes things hard to see. Just get back to collecting shells." Said Shimazaki. Sho reached back into the water and pulled out another shell like Shimazaki said. They were going to throw these at people later and then teleport away so they thought that they were going crazy. Just the broken ones. The perfect ones they were going to save. Sho didn't know what they were saving them for…maybe to put in people aquariums? He didn't know. He just knew that Shimazaki needed shells so that was what he was going to do, collect shells.
He would collect all the shells he needed.
He didn't care if his face was getting red and hot or his jeans were all wet and heavy and clingy or his hair had sand in it or his hands and feet had little cuts on them from all the broken shells. Shimazaki had asked him to come here and collect shells and that was what he was going to do. Shimazaki had asked HIM specifically. Not big sis…well she was off with some new friend she'd made…and not Minegishi. That was the big thing. He hadn't asked Minegishi.
Sho didn't know what he would have done if Minegishi had come along.
They didn't, though, because they hated the heat and they hated crowds and they hated ding extra work. They would have hated it here so they didn't come and Sho didn't know why he was even thinking about some alternate universe where they had come. They would have been sitting there on the sand reading a book, probably, and then Shimazaki would have been there too. He would have done that thing where he laid his head down on their lap and they put their hand in his hair and called him an idiot, which was mean, and instead of getting up and getting away from the person who called him an idiot he just kept his head there on their lap and….
Sho threw a shell.
He threw on at Shimazaki. He caught it. He didn't even turn his head…well he didn't have to. He saw in all directions with his powers. That had been so cool…and it hadn't been a jerk move either because that was just something that they did together. They threw things at each other for fun. That was just…a thing that they did. That was all. He never did things like that with anyone else. Not Minegishi, anyway, because they were boring. All they wanted to do was read books and paint their nails and color their hair. Well reading books was boring unless they were about animals or had gory pictures in them and there was no point in painting their nails or hair because Shimazaki couldn't see colors anyway. So really they were boring and if they had come they would have just made the whole day boring.
So what did he care if Shimazaki spent time with a boring person or not.
Something hit him on the back. Another shell. One of the spire kinds. Shimazaki had thrown that at him. Well now this meant war. Sand war and shell war but not splash war. They hadn't said anything but Shimazaki knew why a splash war would have been a bad idea. He knew that Sho didn't like the feeling of water on his face. He knew that Sho had been in an Awakening lab and he knew…well Sho didn't know if he knew what happened there since he was naturally a very powerful esper….but he did know that Shimazaki knew that he didn't like water on his face so he just didn't splash him.
And Sho wasn't going to splash Shimazaki either.
No water or sand in his face because it could get into his eyes. He could have water on his face when he took a bath or something because that water was clean. This water had sand and dirt and gunk in it. This was beach water and Sho didn't want to have to make him clean out his eyes ahead of schedule. He didn't like watching that and Shimazaki didn't like cleaning his eyes out so, yeah, nobody was getting splashed in the face anytime soon. It was important to be considerate of people like that. Your friends and stuff.
And they were friends.
Even though being near Shimazaki made him feel like he had an ocean's worth of goldfish in his stomach. Even though Sho wanted nothing more than to go over and just…..be near him. Hold his hand stuff. Even though he was mostly sure that this was what love was. Even though he was mostly sure that if Shimazaki knew that Sho was in love with him he wouldn't want to be friends anymore. Who would want to be friends with a guy who was in love with him? That was weird…and not the cool weird like the medical pictures that Emmy kept sending him. Like the twins who were conjoined at the head. That was cool. She was so cool….
And she was in love with him.
She loved him and he didn't love her back but…but that didn't matter because he could still make her happy. That was what his job was since he was the guy. Dad had told him, before, that the guy's job was to make the girl happy. He gave the girl a big fancy house and money and kids and stuff and then she took care of the big fancy house and spent the money and raised the kids. That was just what it was, how it went, when you were normal…and Sho had to be normal. What was he supposed to do? Rip his girlfriend's heart out like she ripped his out in Mortal Kombat? Tell his dad that he didn't like girls at all and that he had better find mom and make a little brother for him because he wasn't going to be making any new Suzuki's anytime soon? Yeah. Dad would take that VERY well. Sho would be lucky if he just got beat up for that….
And he didn't want to get beat up.
But most of all he didn't want to hurt anyone. Emmy liked him and she got that goldfish feeling in her stomach about him and he wasn't going to break her heart. Besides, she hadn't done anything wrong and she did not deserve to have her heart ripped out. She was a nice person and he made her happy and he was going to keep on making her happy since that was what the normal thing to do was and he was normal…well he had to try to be…..
And even if he wasn't, even if it was ok not to be normal, it wasn't like Shimazaki would ever have wanted to be anything other than friends with him.
He had liked big sis before. He said that he didn't but then if he hadn't then why had dad gone through the trouble of beating him up until he bled and stuff? Why would dad do that if it wasn't true? And why would big sis have let him get so near to her and touch her and stuff if it hadn't been true? She had liked him and he had liked her….but she was in love with Hatori now and she wanted to marry him and live in a big fancy house with him and have ten or twenty of his kids and the kids would all have square glasses so it would be easy to tell that they were his kids, not that big sis would ever cheat on him, and they'd be a family and then Sho could play with their kids and she wouldn't like Shimazaki so then he and Shimazaki could be best friends forever and nothing else because that's not how this works and-
-and there's a shell down his back.
"You let your guard down." Said Shimazaki. Sho stuck his tongue out and fished the shell out of his back. This one was nice. It didn't have any chips or cracks…and it was this really nice pearly white color. This was…this was a really nice shell. Shimazaki couldn't tell, though, what color it was. The way it was like white but also all the colors. That was pearl colored. He had a crayon that said that it was pearl colored but no crayon could really be pearl colored. It was a pretty color….and Shimazaki couldn't see it….because he couldn't see colors…
He couldn't see how red Sho was getting.
"Shut up, I did not. I just let you have that one to make you feel better." Said Sho
"You keep telling yourself that." Said Shimazaki
"No, I'm going to keep telling you that." Said Sho
"Well you can tell me whatever you like, that doesn't mean that I'm going to believe you." Said Shimazaki
"Believe this." said Sho. He reached down deep, very deep, until he got a big handful of wet sand. His sleeves were soaked and his pants were soaked, and he was glad that he had a waterproof phone case, but it was worth it to get a big glob of sand...which did not make contact. Shimazaki didn't have to teleport to dodge, and he did dodge, and then all Sho did was make a splash….and also his phone fell out of his pocket.
He felt around for it.
It sank to the bottom. The water was, thankfully, shallow. That meant that his phone hadn't been carried off to sea. That would have sucked…or not. If his phone had been lost forever then he and Shimazaki could have spent forever here. It felt like they had spent forever here. They had been there long enough for the sun to get low in the sky, low enough to hit him in the eyes if he looked up, and low enough that he was sure that Shimazaki could feel it. It would be time to go soon. He was hungry and…and stuff. He was hungry and he knew that they had to go back…
But it was nice here.
"What'd you find?" asked Shimazaki. He came up close now. He made splashes when he walked though, thankfully, no water hit Sho's face. Most of it got on his shirt. He was all salty, he could smell it, and he could feel it. Big sis would probably make him take a bath when he got home….and then he would just take the damn bath and not fight with her because he was covered in salt. He wished that he could have just take a bath in the ocean. At least here the water was shallow.
"My phone." Said Sho. He held his phone up so Shimazaki could sense it. He knew that shape of things and that was about it. He could tell by the shape, probably, that this wasn't a shell…unless they made square seashells.
"Fuck. I'm sorry." said Shimazaki. Sho smiled. He smiled but not so big that Shimazaki could tell that he was smiling. He just….didn't want Shimazaki to be able to tell that he was smiling. He didn't know why.
"What the fuck are you sorry about?" asked Sho. He tried not to smile. He tried not to smile and he just…he tried and he failed. He had missed this so much. He had missed everything about Shimazaki but this…the way that he could just….be. The way that he just let Sho be and how he just…was….and how they were and….stuff…it was complicated.
"You're fucking phone got wet." Said Shimazaki. He motioned towards his phone and…oh. He couldn't tell that Sho had a case on it. He could only tell so much and Sho would have to get used to it again.
"I'm not a fucking moron. I wouldn't bring my phone to the beach without a fucking waterproof case." Said Sho
"Well aren't you a clever little bastard." Said Shimazaki
"Maybe you're just a moron, you bastard." Said Sho
"Well am I a moron or a bastard?" asked Shimazaki. He laughed when he said that…and Sho….he felt that all the way from his stomach to his chest and then down to his toes. It was like the goldfish had moved from his stomach to….to everywhere….before settling back down in his stomach where it had been living for…he didn't even know how long.
"You can be both. Morons can be bastards and bastards can be morons." Said Sho. It was so nice to be able to talk to someone without them going 'language' every ten seconds. He could curse if he wanted to. He wasn't a baby. He could say whatever he wanted to say and do whatever he wanted to do. Shimazaki didn't care. He was fun like that. The most fun person that Sho had ever met.
"Well of the both of those I am neither. My parents were married, first of all, and second of all I'm not moron. I left my phone at home." Said Shimazaki
"Well then you are a moron. What are you going to do if someone needs to talk to you?" asked Sho
"Well then they can just wait. I'm hanging out with you, anyway, what do I need to talk to someone else for." Said Shimazaki. Sho didn't have anything to say to that. He couldn't say anything to that. If he tried to say something he knew that he would have just said something stupid so he said nothing at all. He just stuffed his phone in his pocket and went back to looking for shells.
The water was cold.
The water was cold and he was warm. He was sunburnt. He was sunburnt on his face and hot under his wet jeans and shirt, long pants and long shirt, and that was why he felt like this. Not because of….of whatever the name for this feeling, this feeling's real name, and he didn't even care about this feeling's real name….because he was just…
He was just warm! That was all!
"Well this bucket's full. Come on, help me sort them. I need someone who knows what color is." Said Shimazaki. He patted Sho on the back and left a wet handprint. Sho knew that he must he left a perfect handprint because h could feel it on his back. In a good way, not the way he could feel dad's handprint when he hit him really hard, this was….this was good…
He went back to the shore.
Shimazaki walked. If they had been all alone then Shimazaki would have teleported with him. But there weren't so they walked even though it was a lot slower. He reached over when they got to the shore and took Sho's wrist. He couldn't tell which spot had been where they had been sitting and leaving their shells. The sand was too shifty, he said, and he had trouble seeing where things were. Sho didn't mind. He was happy to lead him.
He was happy to help out his best friend.
The walk to their spot was both too long and too short. Shimazaki was holding onto his arm right above his wrist. They were both wet and both slippery and maybe if they had walked more he could have slipped down so they were holding hands…and that's the thought that made Sho practically start running. He didn't know what was wrong with him. He KNEW that Shimazaki couldn't like him like that…and he KNEW that he had a girlfriend who loved him and stuff and he knew that he was having cheating thoughts and cheating thoughts were wrong to have….and even if he didn't like her like that he still didn't have any right to cheat on her. When you agreed to be with someone then you were with them until…until the agreement ran out. You didn't just leave without any warning. You…you didn't just…hurt people like that.
Also you didn't have cheating thoughts about your best friend.
"Arrange the perfect ones by color for me, would you?" asked Shimazaki. Sho just nodded. He didn't trust himself to talk. He knew that if he said something, if he said anything, it would just turn into….it would turn into him saying something stupid like 'I'd do anything for you' like he had seen in that movie that big sis liked where the people fell in love and kissed and stuff…and he was already thinking about kissing Shimazaki again….and he didn't even know WHY. He just….he didn't even know. He didn't know what he was feeling or how to feel about how he was feeling or-
He sorted the shells.
He sorted them by how perfect they were and by shape and color and….and sorting made him feel better. Feel better in the way that he didn't have to think about anything. There was just him and their buckets and piles of shells and his beach buckets and his Zootopia beahc towel and Shimazaki sitting there…and he sorted faster. The sun was going down and he was facing it and…and he looked really nice there. He looked nice all the time. He said that he faced the sun when it went down because he liked the way it felt….and not because the light hit him all nice….
And Sho was out of shells to sort.
He dug his fingers into the sand. Shimazaki was facing the sun while he sorted out his shells by broken and not broken. Sho would sort his perfect ones by color later. Right now he just….dug his fingers into the sand. It was itchy and got under his fingernails but he didn't care. He just…had to dig his fingers into the sand. He watched the people walking by as he dug his fingers into the sand. Both sets of fingers on both hands. He dug deeper and deeper into the sand a she watched the people walking by. People with kids, people alone, people holding hands, people running, people walking. People. Just…people. There were normal people all around them and they were harder for Shimazaki to see so…so he was watching people for a reason. He was digging his fingers in the sand and watching people and-
And he dug too far.
He hadn't been paying attention. He had been digging sideways until his hand met Shimazaki's leg. He had his pants rolled up because they had been in the water…and Sho had never just poked him like that…but he had and…and he pulled his hand away fast. He pulled his hand away and he pulled his aura close…and as he did that he realized how suspicious he was being. He could tell. Shimazaki could tell…and maybe he couldn't…..but he had no idea at all what he would do if Shimazaki knew how he felt…
He would just die right there on the spot if Shimazaki…if he ever found out.
"What's up?" asked Shimazaki. Sho's eyes darted around. He needed to think up a good reason for poking Shimazaki and he needed to think it up quick. His eyes darted around until he settled on a guy walking over His eyes settled on the guy and then the shells and then the guy.
"Um…there's a guy coming and…he looks like a good target." Said Sho. There. That was a normal thing that they did. They threw things at people and then pretended that they didn't. There was nothing at all out of the ordinary in what Sho had said. So he was safe. Shimazaki had no idea what he had been thinking about or wanting or…or anything. He was safe and he was fine. He'd had a good idea. Shimazaki's aura went over in the direction of the guy….and he smiled a little…which meant that Sho was in the clear.
"Hold your fire. This guy's walking with purpose." Said Shimazaki. Sho didn't get it. He really didn't. That guy was the perfect target…but what Shimazaki said went. Even though the things that he said didn't always make sense. Like when he drank a lot and they did super fun stuff that sounded crazy but wasn't. Like when they went to that mattress store to jump on the beds. That had been fun. Swinging from chandeliers…that had been fun….until they fell and stuff…but it had still be a fun time! He trusted Shimazaki.
So he didn't throw the shell.
Even though, yes, he was walking with purpose. That guy reminded Sho of how, sometimes, girls would come and talk to Shimazaki. Those were the times when Sho had to be the bait. That was only so Shimazaki could get dog pets….Sho told himself. Because that usually happened when they went to the dog park. Girls with dogs let him pet their dogs and then they have him their phone numbers…and Sho really wanted to believe that it was for more dog pets….but he wasn't a baby….and he hated knowing what he knew…
But that was what you were supposed to do with girls and he wasn't a girl…
Well sometimes he wished that he was. When he was with Shimazaki and girls talked to him. Sho wished, in those times, that he had been Shoko. Then Shimazaki could have liked him…and the way that he felt about Shimazaki would have been ok….and stuff. Then it would have been ok for him to want to hold hands with Shimazaki and kiss him…and all of that other stuff. He wasn't entirely sure what all of that other stuff was but if he had been a girl and Shimazaki had asked him to do all of that other stuff then he would have…even though from what he knew it was sort of gross….but he still would have…
But he was not Shoko, he was Sho, so that wasn't going to happen.
So Sho just started sorting out Shimazaki's shells by color. He started on the broken pile just because those were going to be projectiles for later…or maybe tomorrow. They had been here all day…but they had gotten sort of distracted. Shimazaki may not have been able to see the sand that well but he did like to play in it. They had made a really cool sandcastle and then they had stomped on it and then they had built another one and then stomped on it….and it had been so much fun….
Shimazaki was always so much fun.
Which was why it made perfect sense that people sometimes came up to him and just…tried to talk to him. Like now. Sho kept on sorting. This wasn't a girl so he didn't have to act like a cute little kid. He didn't have to be the bait. That was good. He didn't like being the bait. Not even for dog pets….well yes for dog pets…but not for the stuff that Shimazaki did after the dog pets. The thought of Shimazaki kissing someone…and all of that other stuff…made him want to start throwing shells at him…but he wasn't going to do that because then Shimazaki would ask him why and he did not want to explain at all.
So he just went back to sorting shells.
"Hey, sorry to bother you. I just wanted to say that your sleeves are amazing." Said the guy in English. Shimazaki didn't need Sho to translate even though his English was much better than Shimazaki's. Sho didn't look up. Shimazaki did, though, he faced the guy…and he didn't even open his eye to freak him out even though he had the perfect opportunity. Freaking people out was always fun…but there was sand everywhere and of course he wasn't going to open his eyes with all of this sand blowing around.
"Thanks." Said Shimazaki in Japanese….which Sho didn't get at all…and then he laughed and said it again in English….which Sho also didn't get.
"Oh! You're Japanese." Said the guy
"Well spotted." Said Shimazaki
"Sorry, I just didn't want to assume." Said the guy
"Hey, assume away." said Shimazaki
"Well then I'm going to assume that you know how amazing both of your sleeves are." Said the guy. There was a look to him and a tone….and Shimazaki had the same look and tone….and Sho had no idea why he wanted to start throwing sand at people. They were just talking….even though it didn't seem like just talking. Shimazaki was talking to him the same way he talked to girls…but that made no sense because that was a guy and not a girl.
"If you think those are amazing you should see my back." Said Shimazaki
"I would like to…if I'm not imposing." Said the guy
"You're not. Here, check this out." Said Shimazaki as he pulled his shirt up over his head and tossed it over to where Sho was sorting shells. He caught it and put it down next to him. He stuck to what he was doing. What did he care if some guy thought that Shimazaki's tattoos were cool? They were. They were the coolest tattoos ever and of course people liked to look at them….and it didn't matter. Sho was the one who knew that stories about some of them. Like how the dragon on his back was to cover up where his dad had sprayed hi with a hose and then hit him with a belt. Or like how the dragon on his chest covered up where he had been shot and stabbed and stuff. Or like how the dates on his arm were important stuff that had happened to him or people he had met. Or like how the picture on his arm of Minegishi was just because they let him touch their boobs, which weren't anything to write home about anyway, and all of that other adult stuff that Sho wasn't entirely sure of….and stuff….
What did he care if someone thought that they were cool?
"Wow. Those are amazing….and I know that I said that before but just…wow. I've been meaning to get something besides, well, this but I can't think of anything." Said the guy. Sho turned and looked over. That guy just had an arrow on his arm…and not even in color. So stupid. When Sho grew up he was going to cover himself in tattoos from his wrists to his feet even though he'd probably end up living in Japan and nobody liked tattoos there….well whatever. He would be the king of the world and he would be able to do whatever he wanted.
And he'd get something better than some arrow in black and white.
"He's blind, he can't tell that that's an arrow." Said Sho before Shimazaki could say anything. He felt Shimazaki's aura against his. Sho didn't get why. Shimazaki was blind and he never had any problem with people knowing that he was blind before. Sho didn't know what he was being so weird for.
"Oh shit….seriously? I thought you were just closing your eyes….sorry. Wait if you're blind then why….that's none of my business. Just…your tats are amazing. Sorry to bother you and your son." Said the guy before he walked off. Sho hated that, when people thought that he was Shimazaki's son, because he so clearly wasn't! They were friends…just friends….and being friends was better than being his son…and stuff….
Whatever.
Sho went back to what he was doing…and then ended up with a bunch of sand in his hair.
"What the fuck was that for?!" asked Sho as he shook the sand out of his hair. He spat as it got into his mouth and he blinked as it got into his eyes. He took a handful of sand with his powers…and then put it back down. That would have been a jerk thing to do, throwing sand in Shimazaki's face, even though he was the one who started it. Sho had no idea where that had come from. Some guy had said that his tattoos were nice. It had happened and it was over and now they could go back to hanging out and stuff.
"For being a terrible wingman. Seriously, I set you up with the love of your life and this is how you repay me?" asked Shimazaki. Sho blinked? Huh?
"Emmy is my girlfriend not the love of my life…and how was I supposed to know that I was supposed to be your wingman? And how could I even be your wingman in the first place? That was a guy!" said Sho. Shimazaki made no sense at all…and also Emmy was the last person he wanted to talk about now! He did not want to talk about his girlfriend when he was with his bets friend!
"So?" asked Shimazaki
"What do you mean so?" asked Sho
"So what? Yeah. I know that was a guy. I'm not sighted by I'm not blind, and I like people to figure that out on their own by the way for future reference, I know when I'm taking to a guy. You were still a shitty wingman…but you're ten so I'm going to let you off the hook." Said Shimazaki. Now….Sho was….a lot of things. Confused but also….very confused…and…..good? Because Shimazaki had just admitted to…but….what? Why would he admit to….? And if he did then….but he liked…..and he could…and how could he just…..and….and….
Sho had a headache.
"This….doesn't make any sense. You like girls. I've seen you talk to them! And you like Minegishi! You have a picture of them tattooed on your arm!" said Sho. He pointed just in case Shimazaki forgot about the picture of Minegishi that he had on his arm. Shimazaki faced him now and his aura was focused on him and Sho didn't get why Shimazaki thought that he got to be the confused one here! Because he didn't!
"Toshi is Toshi." Said Shimazaki. Sho wanted to throw sand and shells and whatever else at him. He knew that Minegishi was Minegishi but he also knew that Minegishi had boobs and if they had boob then that meant that under their clothes they were a girl and that meant that Shimazaki liked girls and not boys and if he did he would have said something and also Shimazaki had liked big sis and she was a girl and…and Sho was right there and he was only a year younger than big sis. If Shimazaki had liked boys then…then the two of them….they could have….Sho wouldn't have had to have lived in an alternate universe where he had been Shoko….
He could still just be Sho.
"Minegishi has boobs and I know that under their clothes they're a girl and you like them…well you kiss them and all of that other stuff….and…just….I know you like girls!" said Sho. No. If Shimazaki could like him then…then the way he felt…well it wasn't ok. It wasn't ok for him to feel this way about him because…because even if he could feel the same way….Sho still couldn't feel this way in the first place!
"I like both." Said Shimazaki with a shrug…and Sho….he felt like the time he had plugged his phone in and it caught fire. It was just…what….what….WHAT?! How was that even POSSIBLE!?
"What…..?" asked Sho
"I'm bi like you are…well I assume you're bi anyway I never sat down and asked you. None of my business. I just assumed by the girlfriend that you were bi." Said Shimazaki
"What are you…..what? Just…I'm not-" said Sho
"Well you are what you are and what you are is none of my business, kid. You be you and I'll be me." Said Shimazaki
"I-I-I….why didn't you ever…ever tell me?" asked Sho. He didn't know how he felt or what he thought or…or anything. Shimazaki….he could have…he could have liked Sho back this whole time. He could have…but he couldn't have. Sho still…the way he felt was not ok. Not for him. The way he felt was….it was….it was not ok…even though Shimazaki thought that it was ok….and stuff….
"I thought you knew. It's just not one of those things that ever comes up, really. Anyway are you sorting those shells yet?" asked Shimazaki
"But…I don't get it. I just….I don't really get it. You like…but why would you just…say that you liked guys…like that? Aren't you worried about people thinking that you're weird or…or making fun of you…and stuff." Said Sho quietly. He drew his legs up to his chest even though his pants were still all wet and he was all sandy. He felt Shimazaki scooting closet to him.
"Kid, look at me. Does it look like I give a fuck what other people think? I don't. I wasted a lot of my life living under people who told me that the way I am, my existence, was wrong and I am never living like that again. I'll fuck who I want and I'll like who I like and I'll fuck who I like. Ok? And you…you are who you are and you like who you like and that's alright...and also you're not a bad wingman if I take into account your age….ok? Now come on, don't turtle up like that. Let's go throw some broken shells at people and then we'll go home and have Shibata feed up. How's that sound, kid?" asked Shimazaki. Sho nodded and brought his knees down from his chest.
"Sounds good." Said Sho. He had to say something so he said that…even though he had so many things that he wanted to…to say…but he didn't know how. He wanted to ask Shimazaki how he had figured it out, that he liked guys, and how he could just….say it. How he could just say it loud and clear where anyone…anyone who spoke Japanese could hear. How he could just….be like that…just admit it and…and admit it to Sho. He had trusted Sho with this information…and stuff…and Sho….he had never felt so trusted in his life. The goldfish in his stomach was trying to swim away through his chest…and his heart was beating fast to stop it and…and he just….there was some hurt there, too, because….because he knew that Shimazaki had liked big sis….and Sho….he had been right there….and….and Shimazaki could have liked him back this whole time….and…and….
And he stopped thinking about this. He focused on the beach. It was hot, full of sand, and….that was perfect.