When Suzuki Touichirou had left the house that morning he'd had only the one Daughter….
…and now he had two.
Son and Daughter were playing. That was normal. They were playing with Daughter's new dollhouse. That was understandable and acceptable, he had played dolls with her too. Daughter was wearing one of her blue dresses, the one he had gotten her. That wasn't anything out of the ordinary and, actually, and he felt good seeing her wearing something that he had gotten for her. Daughter also had her face painted up in makeup…which was becoming normal for her…and something which he was not going to argue with her about because he knew that criticizing a woman's appearance was dangerous ground. No, he was not going to say a word about her appearance or her actions.
There was nothing strange about what she was doing.
Son on the other hand…he occasionally wore his sister's clothes. This was not the first time that Suzuki had come home to see his Son wearing one of his sister's dresses over his clothes. No, this was not new at all….nor was the fact that he was wearing his sister's costume jewelry….he would have to get Daughter some real jewelry at some point….or his sister's headband. That….Son had done that before. The fact that he was wearing his sister's socks, too, wasn't that strange….no. He had seen this before. A dress was just a garment without leg holes. It didn't mean a thing, he knew that it didn't, and he knew that….that Daughter would never do anything to harm Son….
But wearing that dress could not have been good for him.
At least he was wearing pants. At least he was still wearing his own clothes underneath his sister's. Even though he was dressed up like a girl and playing with dolls and…and everything else. All of those things. All of those things put together….they weren't what bothered him. No. What bothered him was the fact that Son was just as painted up as Daughter was. If not for the fact that he could recognize his own Son's aura he would have thought that Daughter had made another friend. That she had found another female playmate….but no. That was Son.
That was Son.
She dressed Son up like that because she had been lonely for other girl children to play with. That had been his understanding of it, anyway, but now….now he didn't know. She had a friend. Her name was Asagiri Minori. Daughter spoke of her often. She was the one who had introduced Daughter to makeup and such…and Suzuki was just glad that she was spending less of her time around the opposite sex…and he may not have liked this development but he had assumed that with the addition of a new female friend, one her own age as well, that she would have stopped dressing Son up like this.
It could not have been good for him.
Suzuki could excuse the dress. He had worn robes before and they were basically the same as dresses….well he had felt that way before. Now that he thought about it dresses were a purely female garment. The decoration they had to them, the cut of them, and the fact that socially only women wore them…..yes. That could not have been good for Son. Not good for him at all. He was already….Suzuki worried for him. Well he had thought that he had been worrying for Son. What he had felt before…it didn't even come close to the worry that he was feeling right now in this moment in time. Son…he trusted Daughter when it came to raising Son…and if she didn't think that…that she should have worried about this, that it was a nonissue, then maybe it was a nonissue….but it didn't feel like a nonissue to him…but he didn't know much about raising children. That had been Masami's expertise. She…she would have known what to do…
She had taught Daughter.
Daughter had been taught by Masami and Masami was the greatest mother that the world had ever seen. In Suzuki's opinion. She always knew what to do when it came to raising the children and they had been very good to her. She had reminded him of his own mother, actually, or at least what his memories of her had been. Masami would have known what to do, she would have told him what to do, but she wasn't there…..she wasn't there anymore but Daughter…she was there. She was there and Masami had taught her what to do…and she wasn't doing anything….but it just…didn't feel like she should have been just…sitting there and playing dolls with Son….
Suzuki didn't know what he was supposed to do.
He really didn't. Daughter…she knew what to do. She was good with things like this, taking care of Son, and he trusted her judgement as much as he trusted Masami…so maybe this was fine…and maybe it wasn't. He honestly did not know. Daughter…she was good when it came to Son. He obeyed her and she never once had to raise a hand to him. Masami had taught her that…and he had no idea how she had managed that….so she knew what she was doing. She was doing….well…but this…this didn't seem like…like something that he should have let happen but….but if Daughter thought that Son….that Son was fine then….then this was fine?
Suzuki had no clue.
He had no clue what he was supposed to say or do or…or anything. So he just sort of…stood there and watched the children playing together. That was normal. He could have pretended that this was normal. He could have closed his eyes and pretended that this was normal and that his children were normal and that his Son was dresses like his Son and…and if he closed his eyes he almost could have made that into reality. He could have just closed his eyes and then…and then that was what he did. He closed his eyes and imagined that he had come home to the children playing and…and then Daughter would have gotten up and gotten dinner started…and then Son would have done something normal like…like drawing something or destroying something or just….some other normal thing that Son did….
And then things would have been normal again in his household.
"Hi, dad." Said Daughter. She brought him back to reality. She made him open his eyes even though he would much rather have been inside of his own mind where things were normal and they made sense. But things didn't make sense and he couldn't hide from them…and also he wasn't going to ignore Daughter. She was his Daughter and it was always a gift to be able to speak to her.
"Daughter." Said Suzuki. He didn't know what else to say. Masami had always hated it when he questioned her parenting. Daughter…he didn't want to question her. He trusted her as much as he trusted Masami…but this was…he wasn't even sure what this was…but he knew that it was not normal. It was not normal and…and also it was beyond his understanding….and he hated it when things were beyond his understanding.
"Sho's here too." Said Daughter. He didn't know why she said that. Of course he noticed his Son. How could he had not noticed Son when he was in that state of affairs? He was in his sister's dress and painted up with her makeup. Who wouldn't have noticed that?
"I know." Said Suzuki. Son was looking at him…and he made an effort not to look at Son. If he looked at Son then he would say something to Son…and he knew that if he made something out of this then Son would do something like exclusively wear his sister's clothing just to be contrary. Suzuki couldn't have that. He had enough to worry about when it came to that boy.
"Sho, I think that dad's waiting for you to say 'hi' first." Said Daughter. Suzuki wasn't waiting for a greeting but it was nice how Daughter corrected him, how she took such an interest in her brother's social development. She cared so much for him even though he acted so terribly to her. She was so caring, his Daughter, the most caring person in the world. She would make a good mother someday. She had been taught by the best after all.
"Fine. Hi." Said Son. Now Suzuki would have to say something to him. 'Hello'. There. One word. That was all he had to say…so he had better get to saying it. He just…he had to say something…and that something was a normal greeting….but how could he just…use a normal greeting…in this situation? Lost. He felt lost. He hadn't felt this socially lost since…well since he had been young. There was something here, something that he was missing, and…and he just needed to figure out what it was that he was missing….so then he could understand what he was supposed to do in this situation…and he knew that he was supposed to do SOMETHING….or maybe nothing…because Daughter was treating this whole thing as a nonissue….
"Hello Son." Said Suzuki. There. He had said something…but not the something that he wanted to say. He wanted to tell Son to wash his face, put on his own clothes, and do something else. Something normal. To go and draw something or break something or play one of his videogames or…or something that did not involve playing dolls with his sister while dressed up like a little girl. He was not a little girl, he was a little boy, and Suzuki did not need one more thing to worry about when it came to Son.
He had enough to worry about.
Such as the fact that he had never so much as mentioned a girl. Not to him, they didn't speak that often, but to Daughter. Daughter…she was enamored with the idea of love. With the opposite sex. Most of the media she consumed ended in a romantic pairing, she had started painting her face to be more attractive to the opposite sex, and he had seen the way her aura looked when she was near Hatori….thank God he was a homosexual or Suzuki would have had two things to worry about when it came to his children, so Daughter was at least normal in that regard when it came to her development. She had never mentioned a boy to him…and he didn't know if he could mentally take that so, really, he was grateful that she kept that to herself. Son…he had never once mentioned a girl to Daughter.
Not once.
And he never seemed to seek them out, either. Daughter said that he spent his free time with Shimazaki doing all manner of childish things….because he was a child still…but he should have been an older child. When Suzuki had been his age he had already met the girl he had been planning on marrying. They both liked the Galaxy Express and it's expanded universe, they both thought that the laserdisc was the superior format to both VHS and CED…though it had taken a trip to his home to convince her that CED was not superior to laserdisc….and after that day he had decided that when he grew up he was going to marry her…and that had, obviously, not worked out but he had at least been interested….but Son seemed to show zero interest at all in the opposite sex. He would have told Daughter and Daughter would have told him, she told him everything and she had an obsession with love that he did not understand, so he would have been informed….
He worried.
"Do you want to play too, dad? I mean it looks like you want to play…since you're just standing there and stuff…and maybe you don't know how to ask if you can play…so you can play with us if you want to." Said Daughter. She was making reference to something he had shared with her. He had told her, before, that in his youth he'd had trouble asking the other children to play with him or asking to join in on their games. He hadn't wanted to, of course, since nobody understood what he wanted to play and he hadn't been able to understand them wither, but mother and father kept on asking him to play with the other children even though it never ended well…and Daughter…she isn't mocking him. She isn't bringing up the weak little boy he used to be just to tell him that he shouldn't have cared what the other children had thought of him.
That is not who she is.
She is his Daughter and she would never be unkind of him. She was merely asking him to join her because he loved her company and she knew it. She loved his company as well. He had no enjoyed the game of dolls, before, when they had played it. The entire game was modeling various social interaction and he had gotten no enjoyment out of that in real life so, of course, he would not have enjoyed making a game of it…but he had still played for her. He is not going to play now, though, because Son is there and he does not want to play with Son. Being around Son is always so draining…
And also he does not want to normalize that sort of behavior for him.
"No thank you. You and your brother can carry on with that until you feel like making dinner." Said Suzuki. Daughter…he hoped that she felt like making dinner soon. He was hungry...a bit hungry. He had spent time with Hatori and spending time with Hatori always meant compulsive eating….and there was nothing wrong with eating ketchup bread….so he wasn't that hungry but…but he did want to get her occupied with something else…and then Son would find something else to do…
Like change his clothes and wash his face.
"Are you hungry now?" asked Daughter. She was thinking of him, again, and he loved her for it. There was a simple….a simple joy to it. Coming home and having someone there who thought about you, who cared about you, and who wanted to take time from their life to make you happy…just because they loved you. Not out of the loyalty based fear that the people who surrounded him felt but out of a genuine sense of caring and affection.
"I could eat." Said Suzuki. Her in the kitchen making something for him…the thought of it makes him…well it makes him happy…and he should not be this happy. Especially for no good reason. So she cared about him…she was supposed and he was supposed to have better control over his emotions than this…but he didn't. He needed to calm down…but she had….she had offered and…and it was ok for him to feel this way because if she was in the kitchen making dinner then she would not have been in here playing with Son…and maybe she should have been too busy to notice Son carrying on if he were to scrub all of that mess off of his face and dress him in his normal clothes and just….do everything in his power to make Son normal….
If that was eve possible.
"Do you want me to make breakfast for dinner again?" asked Daughter. Suddenly he was very hungry. Her omelets were like heaven to him. She always used four large eggs and beat them until they were light and fluffy and then she always used butter, a lot of it, and then she would mix in all of his favorites…and she would draw him something in ketchup on his omelet when she was done making it…and she was so talented…
She was such a talented little girl.
She was talented in all of the skills which Masami had worked so hard to teach her…and having her there was almost as good as having Masami there…almost. Masami was…she was Masami…but Daughter was Daughter and…and he knew that it was wrong to compare the two in his mind. One had left him and one would never leave him. There was no comparison to be made…but he needed to love Masami. Even if she had abandoned him he had to love her…not that he had any hope of her coming back or anything like that…but if she did come back then he would be there and ready and waiting for her….but she was never coming back….
But at least she had left him Daughter.
His only Daughter. The only Daughter that he would ever have and ever need. He had a Daughter, he did not need two of them, and he wanted to grab Son and drag him into the bathroom and scrub all of that mess off of his face and put him back in his normal clothes…but he doesn't do that. Daughter…she knows how to take care of Son…and she so hated it when Son carried on. Son would have carried on his Suzuki had taken him by the arm and dragged him kicking and screaming to the bathroom to sit him down and scrub all of that mess off of his face…or maybe just hold him down under the bathwater until he was normal again….Son would have carried on and then Daughter would have been bothered. He could never do anything like that to his own Daughter.
Even though he really wanted to.
"That would be wonderful." Said Suzuki. He knew that she would notice if Son carried on…and there was no way to stop him from carrying on. Even if he held him under the water his aura would still flare and he would still lose control over his powers and then Daughter would notice and she would be upset and then dinner would be ruined…and he didn't want any of that…so he would leave Son be and….and hopefully whatever this was got better on it's own.
"So you're just going to leave me because dad wants dinner?" asked Son. Suzuki wondered if there was some way to shut him up without Daughter noticing…and there probably wasn't…but he could still try…or not. Daughter…he hate upsetting her…and he wanted nothing more than her constant and never ending happiness. That wasn't a lot to ask…was it?
"I'm just going to the kitchen. We can play later, ok?" asked Daughter. She said that and…and Son…he could have agreed….he would have agreed…and then in agreeing with her he would have been saying that he enjoyed…whatever this was…and then…well…that would have been the worst thing that he could have said. He had given Suzuki nothing but worry…and now he had even more worry…even though Daughter wasn't worried so there might have been nothing to worry about….or something…he didn't know…
All he knew was the he needed Son to wash his face and take the dress OFF.
"But-" said Son. Suzuki was not going to let him say another word. If he kept on protesting that meant that he had wanted to…to stay like that…which could have meant so many things. It could have confirmed all of Suzuki's greatest fears for his Son and only biological child…and he had no idea where Masami was so he couldn't have another child…and he would have preferred literally anything in the world to…to his worst fears being confirmed. Hell, he would rather Daughter have told her that she was carrying Shimazaki's child and she planned on marrying him above Son…about Son confirming his worst fears.
"Daughter, please go and make dinner now. Son….since your sister is no longer playing with you then…then you can take the time which she will be spending cooking to…to take a bath or something." Said Suzuki. If he told Son flat out to go and wash his face and change…then Son would have just gone on dressing up like a girl just to be contrary…and if he dragged Son kicking and screaming to the bathroom himself then Daughter would have gotten upset with him…and he had no idea what to do about any of this….
Parenting was hard.
Daughter was much better at it than he was. He trusted her in all things….even these things…and she…she seemed fine. She seemed like she was perfectly fine and that she…she understood these things better than he did…and he knew that if she saw this as a nonissue then it must have been….but it felt like an issue, a big issue, to him…and he just…he had no clue what to even do….and he wished that he could have asked for some guidance but Masami was long gone…..
Daughter knew what to do.
"I don't want to take a bath." Said Son. Suzuki…he forced himself to remain calm. He had told his Son to do something and now he had to do it…but he was being disobedient as always. He did this because he knew that his sister would protect him. As long as Daughter was around then there was nothing that Suzuki could do without running the risk of hurting her feelings and making her….just making her so upset…and he never wanted to see her upset…and he loved her so much….
"Sho….please? I won't check if your hair is wet this time." Said Daughter. Suzuki had no clue what the significance of that statement was but it sent Son off and that…that was what mattered. Son went off to take his bath and Daughter went off to make dinner and that just left Suzuki there in the living room staring at Daughter's dollhouse with nothing but his racing thoughts for company.
He wished that he'd had dolls instead of children.
In the most abstract sense, of course, he knew that he couldn't literally have dolls for children. He needed his flesh and blood children to secure his future. He needed his flesh and blood Son to secure the next generation….and that generation needed to be secured. He had nothing against homosexuals, one of his closest people he could maybe begin to call something of a friend was a homosexual, he just needed his Son to not be one. That was all. He needed more Suzukis and he only had the one Son and no way to make another….so there. That was that. Son…he had his worries about Son…but Daughter didn't seem to have any worries…and she knew more about these things than he did….but he still worried…and his worries made no sense….and this made no sense…
So he went to someone who could make sense of it.
He walked out the door and over to Fukuda's house. He always knew how to make sense of the unexplainable. Son was unexplainable. He knew Son, he had always enjoyed spending time with him, and his social skills were just as good as Daughter's so he would know what to do. He could not discuss this with Daughter. She might take it as a criticism of her parenting and he knew that criticizing a woman's parenting was dangerous ground. Even more dangerous than criticizing her appearance. He needed a second opinion and it could not be hers…
So he would ask the next best person.
He didn't care if he was disturbing Fukuda. He could disturb whoever he wanted to…and also he had a good reason to be disturbing Fukuda after a long day of work. Not that he needed one. He had never needed one, he had just always had one, even when they had been children. There had been so many times when he would just turn up to Fukuda's house at all hours and he had never been turned away. Not even those times when he let himself in through Fukuda's bedroom window and played his Famicom until he woke up. It never took long, thankfully, because all the games that he'd had back then had been terrible, and Suzuki…well there was a sense of déjà vu there…even though he was at the door and not the window…
He half expected Fukuda's mother to open the door, usher him inside, and make him sit at the table and eat with the family.
Which had been a stupid thing to expect since Fukuda's mother and father had been dead for some time now. They were just a couple of orphans now…that is if men their age could be considered to be orphans. Well they were orphans by the strictest of definitions, they had no parents, but now they were the parents. Well he was the parent. Fukuda had never married and never had children…and Suzuki had never been able to understand why. Women had always liked him better and he'd always wanted to be father. He had certainly done enough practicing with his children…not that he minded. Son needed the supervision and Daughter….Daughter didn't really mention Fukuda or spend time with him anymore…
Which was fine. He was here to ask about Son anyway.
"Suzuki. Hey….what's going on?" asked Fukuda after he finally came to the door. He had gotten dressed again…and Suzuki didn't know why he bothered. They had seen each other less than fully dressed thousands of times. They had even lived together briefly in university…and the less said about that the better. Suzuki hadn't had the time to wait for Fukuda to get dressed again. He barely had the time now to speak to him. Daughter cooked fast and he could not let her food get cold. She was an amazing cook and letting her food grow cold would have been a waste of her talents.
"I need to speak to you about something of great importance." Said Suzuki. Fukuda made room in the doorway for him. His aura was still, perfectly still, and Suzuki wished that his was the same….but it wasn't. Well it wouldn't have been if he had been able to just…keep it in his death grip. Calm. He needed to look and stay calm…and maybe he had no reason at all, none, because Daughter had treated the whole thing as a nonissue…and if she thought that it was a nonissue then it must have been….but if it was a nonissue then he would not have been feeling the way he was feeling now.
"Come in." said Fukuda as he made room. Suzuki stepped into the genkan, well the space that served as a genkan, but went no further. He didn't have the time or the inclination to go any further. He just needed information and then that was it. They weren't children anymore, he wasn't going to stay, and he knew that Fukuda didn't expect him to want to…right?
He didn't know. He had enough on his mind as it was.
"Do you think that Son wearing makeup and his sister's clothing is going to be detrimental to him in some way? Also do you think that he's a homosexual?" asked Suzuki. Fukuda turned around. He had been making his way into his home…so maybe he had meant for Suzuki to follow, but that didn't matter now. He turned around and stared at Suzuki….and he would have thought that he had said something wrong….but Fukuda's aura looked and felt fine….
So he didn't know.
"Sho….is wearing his sister's clothes?" asked Fukuda. Suzuki nodded. He didn't believe Fukuda for not believing him. The entire thing was unbelievable. Son in a dress….it had to have been seen to have been believed….and he did not want Fukuda to see. He did not want to have anyone see. He was Suzuki Touichirou, he could do whatever he wanted, but Son was not Suzuki Touichirou. He was Suzuki Sho and he was not going to…well he had no idea if this was even an issue…but this….it was….
He had no idea what this was.
"Yes. Her dress, her jewelry, her headband, her socks, and her makeup. Also he was playing dolls with her. I don't know if this is an issue or not. Daughter is treating this like a nonissue and I generally defer to her judgement…but this feels like an issue to me. You know Son and you know people so is this something that I should be worried about?" asked Suzuki. He may have spoken too quickly, or said too much at once, because Fukuda spent some time being silent. Time which they did not have. He had seen Daughter cook. He knew that she would have been on her own omelet by now, and then Son's plain one, and then…well it the rice would take time unless she used instant rice….he loathed instant rice…
He didn't have a lot of time.
"Sho…is ten. It probably doesn't mean anything." Said Fukuda. Son was ten. Suzuki knew that Son was ten. He was a decade old. Suzuki knew what he had been like at a decade old. He had been nothing like Son was at a decade old…but then again he had never been a thing like Son was. Ever.
"I know how old my own Son is." Said Suzuki. He sounded defensive there, mainly because he felt defensive there, but there….in there he could have sworn that Fukuda had implied that he hadn't known hold old Son was…or maybe that had just been residual emotion from Son's outburst back around his birthday.
"Then you know that ten year olds do weird stuff. Shigeko probably made him dress like that. He's fine." Said Fukuda. Fukuda…he hadn't been there. He hadn't been there and he didn't know. Son…in the past Son had been happy to get out of whatever dress his sister had put him in…but not this time….
"…he protested, though, when I told her to stop playing with him and make dinner." Said Suzuki
"Well….I guess he just wanted to play with his sister." Said Fukuda with a shrug. He knew what that shrug meant. It meant that Fukuda was being dismissive. It meant that Suzuki was blowing things out of proportion, which Fukuda had accused him of doing on more than one occasion, and it meant that….that maybe he was….but he felt like he wasn't. He felt like….like…
Like he was about to watch thirty years of work go down the drain.
Thirty years. That was how long he had been working at this for. Since he had been around thirteen or so and he had realized that he stood head and shoulders above all other espers as well. When he had realized that he could store power, give it, and take it away. He had been planning this since he had been a little boy with one single follower and a fort in the woods. He had been working up to this point for most of his life….and his work was still nowhere near complete…and when he did complete his work then it would have all been for nothing if he couldn't secure the next generation and the next and the next…and he did not feel like having any more children.
Masami was gone.
Masami was gone but they were still married. He would not be unfaithful to her…any more than he had been already. He had one biological child, just one, and that one biological child needed to have more than one biological child…and that child needed to be his. He needed to make sure that Son's child was from his bloodline…and if he were to spend his life with another man then there would be no guarantee of that…and also his children would grow up without a mother…unless he gave them to Daughter to raise….but then she would be stuck raising her brother's children as well as her own….and then he would be stuck raising his Son's children as well as the ones he and Daughter would have together….and that would have been a lot. He'd planned to leave the world to Son once he got too old or too tired to rule it and then he would retire and spend the rest of his life with Daughter. That had been the plan, the version of the future he had seen before…but now…
He had always been so…assured of what the future would bring…but now he was just….worried.
"I worry. I worry about him." said Suzuki. Fukuda was one of the few people in this world who had seen him lose control….so therefore it was alright to talk about how out of control this whole situation made him feel. He had a Son and with the existence of that Son the next generation should have been secured…but now all of that was up in the air. Maybe. He didn't know. He didn't know if it was going to go as planned or…or he didn't even know. Homosexuals could have children, it was a lot more steps, but….it would be easier if Son had been heterosexual…a lot easier. …
"So now you worry and Sho?" asked Fukuda. He had a tone there that Suzuki could not read. His aura was just as calm and placid as normal…so maybe it wasn't a bad tone…though it had seemed like one…
"I worry about the future and he is a key point in the future. I worry about him. I wouldn't worry…I mean if I couldn't worry then I wouldn't…but I do. Daughter….she's treating this like a nonissue and I know that I should defer to her…but I thought that I could use a second opinion." Said Suzuki
"Sho's fine and the future is fine. You don't have to worry about him. He's a good kid." Said Fukuda. Suzuki….wasn't sure if that was an accurate assessment of Son. Son was just….a handful. He was loud and he fought with his sister and he was defiant and…and he had been this way his whole life. It made it very difficult to even get close enough to judge if he was or was not a good child. Suzuki had seen him at his worst but Fukuda….had seen other side to him…so Suzuki didn't really know if he could make an accurate summation of his Son's character.
"I…will take your word for it. I haven't spent enough time with him to be able to accurately describe his character. Maybe he's different when he's with you." Said Suzuki
"You know…you could spend time with him. He could use some positive attention from you." Said Fukuda
"If he wants positive attention then he can behave in more positive manner. He can be kind to his sister and not make her life more difficult, he can be quiet, and he can stop acting like such a-" said Suzuki
"A ten year old?" asked Fukuda
"He acts younger than that. I never acted the way he does, not once, when I was ten." Said Suzuki
"Well you were an unusually…mature….kid." said Fukuda
"That is true…but he has you and you give him attention. He speaks of you often and he's always spending time with you…and you know him better than I do. If you say that I don't have anything to worry about, that he's not a homosexual, then there is nothing for me to worry about. Thank you." Said Suzuki
"Wait! Just…hypothetically. If Sho were….what would you do?" asked Fukuda
"I…have no idea. It's inborn, I think, and….and I know that it's not something that can be beaten out of him…so I don't know what else I could do to fix this if it even can be fixed." said Suzuki
"Yeah….maybe don't try that. I thought you had stopped hitting him all together actually." Said Fukuda
"I've left correcting him to Daughter. She gets better results than me." Said Suzuki
"Maybe because she doesn't hit him." said Fukuda. There was a tone there, too, and he couldn't read that tone either.
"You think?" asked Suzuki. Hitting Son had been the only thing that had seemed to work. Since he had been about three or four…or maybe even two. He didn't know. All he knew was that it had been the only thing that worked and when something worked you stuck to it.
"Yeah….anyway….Sho's….it wouldn't be the end of the world if he were gay, you know." Said Fukuda. The end of the world, no, that would come when the sun exploded. The end of his bloodline, yes, and that may as well have been the end of the world. Fukuda didn't understand. No woman had ever wanted to have children with him. When he had someone who wanted to continue his bloodline, and then when his bloodline was continued, he would realize how important it was without even having to have been the ruler of the world.
"It would possibly be the end of my bloodline. I know how homosexual reproduction works. This could be the end of my entire bloodline." Said Suzuki
"They…don't reproduce. I mean not with each other…remember? Health class back in middle school?" asked Fukuda
"I know that they don't reproduce with each other. They find a surrogate and then each man inseminates her and then whoever's genetic material can swim the fastest wins." Said Suzuki. It had amazed him when he had first heard it too, that was why Fukuda was looking at him like that. Suzuki hoped that he didn't have a lot of follow up questions. He only knew so much. He would direct any follow up questions to Hatori. He was the expert after all.
"What?" asked Fukuda. He blinked, there, a lot. Suzuki didn't blame him for being shocked. The whole thing was very shocking.
"That's how it works. It's a race to the egg. It makes sense since you'd want to have the strongest offspring…and that's what worries me. I need my grandchildren to be MY grandchildren." Said Suzuki
"So…your understanding is that each guy….goes at it…with the surrogate and whoever's…guys…swim best are the winners?" asked Fukuda
"I assume that they use some sort of medical tool since the men involved are homosexual but that is what happens, yes." said Suzuki
"Uh-huh…and where did you hear about this?" asked Fukuda
"Hatori told me." Said Suzuki
"Hatori….the kid with the glasses and the acne?" asked Fukuda
"Yes, though his face is clearing up nicely." Said Suzuki
"Right….can I ask….when did this even come up?" asked Fukuda
"We were talking." Said Suzuki
"Talking….what were you talking about that this even….came up?" asked Fukuda
"Videogames." Said Suzuki. That was what they usually talked about. The two of them talked about game and their history but also life as well. Sort of like the things that he and Fukuda used to talk about back when they had been young.
"So…you were talking about videogames with Hatori of all people…and then….you got to the subject of how surrogate pregnancies work?" asked Fukuda
"Yes." said Suzuki
"You know….you might want to google that. Hatori might not be the best person to ask about…anything sexual. I'm pretty sure that he's never even been with a woman before." Said Fukuda
"Obviously not." Said Suzuki
"Right…." Said Fukuda
"So you can see why I'm worried about Son. I need to secure my bloodline. I need my bloodline to continue and it won't without Son." Said Suzuki
"What about your daughter?" asked Fukuda. There was a tone there, too, and he wished that Fukuda would just speak normally. He knew for a fact that tones gave him trouble. He said Daughter so oddly. What about Daughter? She was a child but she was not his child. Not in the way that counted. She wouldn't continue his bloodline. She was just…herself. She would continue someone else's bloodline...and he accepted that. He had no choice but to accept that. She was and was not his Daughter.
"Daughter is not my biological child, you know that." Said Suzuki. He so wished that she had been but she wasn't and that was what it was. She was adopted and he knew that…but he couldn't blame Fukuda for forgetting. Suzuki himself forgot sometimes.
"No I meant…never mind. If you're so worried about your bloodline then why not just…have more kids?" asked Fukuda
"Masami is gone. You know that." Said Suzuki
"…yeah. I know. I meant….with someone else." Said Fukuda
"I would never be unfaithful to my wife." Said Suzuki lowly. His aura…he kept his aura close. He had to keep his aura close. He could not lash out at Fukuda. He had no reason to. Fukuda had never been married. He didn't know, didn't understand, that even when your wife was gone you had to still be faithful to her…and Suzuki was going to be much better about that. He had slipped once, an only once, and he would never slip up again. He never even thought about Pang Sujin and if she had ever finished that novel or what her thoughts on-
He loved Masami and he hoped that she would forgive him if….if she ever came back.
"Right. I never said that you would have…I just…forgot that you were married. I mean you never mention her….so…" said Fukuda
"You're not married so I'll forgive what you said. I don't have to mention my wife to be married to her and even when she is not here she is still my wife. You don't understand. You're single and you always have been…and I don't know why. You're an intelligent person, you look normal, you're very loyal, you're always very punctual, and you enjoy spending time with children. If I were a woman I would have been happy to have you." Said Suzuki
"Sorry. I didn't know what I was saying." Said Fukuda quickly.
"That's alright, I forgive you." Said Suzuki. He didn't care. Fukuda sometimes spoke out of turn but that was just a flaw that he had. They had been together for decades. They were used to each other's flaws.
"Thank you. Anyway, about Sho…he's fine. He's perfectly fine. Just…you want him to be interested in girls, right?" asked Fukuda. He looked away, now, and Suzuki just did not know why.
"That would be best, yes." said Suzuki
"Well….how would you feel if he had a girlfriend?" asked Fukuda. Suzuki would have been happy…but when would that have even happened? He was only ten years old…..
"That would be a weight off of my shoulders." Said Suzuki
"You wouldn't try to kidnap the little girl or anything, right?" asked Fukuda
"If she were an esper, of course, but if she were a normal person then of course not." Said Suzuki
"Well….Sho's normal. Back in England he met a little girl…and he started something of a relationship with her." said Fukuda. Suzuki…had no idea what to think. On the one hand that was a major weight off of his shoulders. On the other hand…this had been kept from him? Secrets were being kept from him? Daughter had been keeping secrets from him?
He feels like is heart is being ripped out.
He forced himself to stay calm. Daughter was keeping secrets from him. Daughter could not be keeping secrets from him. Daughter….was his child. She was his child. She was his companion. She was his reason and his life. She was the person he was going to spend his life with. They were going to live their lives together in happiness and….and they could not do that if…if she was keeping secrets from him.
"Daughter kept this from me….Son kept this from me…and you kept this from me….I hate secrets…" said Suzuki. Daughter….she….he needed to trust her….but how could he trust her if she was keeping things from me…and how could….he forgave her. He loved her and he forgave her. She must have had her reasons.
"I'm not sure if she knew but Sho….well you never talk to him so why would he have told you? And me, I'm telling you now." Said Fukuda. Suzuki felt himself calm down. Right. He never spoke to Son. He never spoke to Son without getting upset with him and…and Daughter knew how he got upset when she spoke of Son….and Fukuda was telling him right now….but still….
He would have liked to have been informed.
"Right. Well…thank you for…assuaging my worries. I'm going to have dinner now, Daughter's making dinner. So thank you very much." Said Suzuki before he left. He felt better now…mostly. Son…he had found his most perfect person. He was only ten and he found his own person and…and that was….Suzuki had missed this. He had missed this and….and he would have wanted to….to have at least have heard about this….but this was….alright. This was alright. Son was doing exactly what he should have been doing….though he would have preferred it if Daughter had said something…..
It was Son's birthday all over again.
He would have to talk to her about keeping him informed of the happenings of their household. He would have liked to have been informed…but this was what it was. He didn't even know why he cared. Son was doing what he should have been doing. This was a nonevent. This was a nonissue. Son had found his most perfect person and….and it was a nonissue….so of course Daughter hadn't told him. He…he was oddly curious about this girl. Her name, what she was like, why Son had been drawn to her….but if this was something that he needed to know about then Daughter would have told him.
She always told him the important things.
"Dad, dinner's ready." Said Daughter as he came through the door. He took his shoes off in the genkan and made his way to the kitchen….where he found his Daughter. His one Daughter. His Son was his Son again, in his normal clothes sitting at the table sketching something out while his food cooled in front of him. Good. So it really had been a nonissue. He had no clue what all of that had been about. He trusted his Daughter and if something was a nonissue to her then it was a nonissue end of discussion. He trusted her in all ways. She was his Daughter.
She was his only Daughter. He had come home, again, to find that he only had the one Daughter…and that was just the way that things were supposed to be.