Love and Honor
Chapter 3 Judging Joan
(Author's Note: The episode TRIAL AND ERROR went out of its way to introduce a character named Judge Patricia Claymore, and I wondered at the time if she was intended to play a role in Joan's future. So I decided to bring her back.
Luke and Grace's vacation is described in another fanfic, RURAL ARCADIA.
The title, of course, is based on Barbara Hall's other series, JUDGING AMY)
Joan yawned.
Bad idea, she thought. If a certain Deity thought she was bored, He might come up with a new task for her to do. But then, the Deity could see into her soul, and would know that she was bored whether she yawned or not, so why bother suppressing it?
She understood perfectly well why she was bored. Her evening job at the bookstore had expanded into daylight hours during the summer, but the patronage hadn't picked up, so she was stranded at the store now with little to do. And there was nobody to talk to even when she left. Luke and Grace knew about "God" now, but as their first mission God has "suggested" that they go on a vacation down in North Carolina, where some relatives of Joan's ran a farm. Since they had agreed not to mention their secret in writing, their Emails about their activities were very uninformative: Grace was learning how to ride a horse (!) and Luke, less surprisingly, was upgrading the cousins' computer.
Adam and Friedmann were both still in the doghouse, from Joan's point of view. Adam had betrayed her by sleeping with Bonnie; Friedmann had made a crude pass at her while high on drugs. She wasn't ready to forgive either one.
She was feeling a little distant from her parents at the moment. Simply living through this summer reminded her of the terrible last summer, in Crazy Camp, and the faithfulness of Grace and Luke reminded her by contrast of how her parents had treated her like a lunatic last year. Besides, her mother had seemed particularly moody last night, though she wouldn't say why.
At least Kevin and his new wife were back from their honeymoon, and would dine at the Girardi's tonight. Joan wanted to get to know Lily better, now that the ex-nun was her sister-in-law. At the least she would be another older female that she could talk to, when she wasn't getting along with Mom. Though nearly thirty, Lily acted like she wanted to be in Joan's generation.
The door of the bookshop opened, causing the bell to tingle. The visitor was a tall, well-dressed black woman. For a moment Joan wondered if God had picked a new disguise, but the woman turned toward Joan and asked "Ms. Girardi?"
Definitely not God. He/She/It always called her "Joan", and never in a questioning tone. On the other hand, this wasn't a standard customer.
"Yes. May I help you?"
"I'm Patricia Claymore." A second's hesitation. "Judge from the Superior Court."
"Have I done something wrong?" asked Joan in dismay.
The woman laughed. "Oh, no. Quite the contrary. Is there a place that we can sit?"
"Back here," said Joan, guiding her to the reading tables.
Ms. Claymore seated herself and gestured for Joan to do likewise. "A few months ago I visited a high school class conducting a Mock Trial. You played the prosecutor."
"Oh!" she said, suddenly remembering the day -- and also remembering why she wanted to forget it. It was the day on which she learned of Adam's betrayal.
"I was very impressed by your performance -- the combination of passion and logic. And since I was passing through Arcadia, I thought I'd visit you and tell you personally. Have you considered a legal career?"
"Oh, no. You don't understand. The boy playing the accused was my ex-boyfriend, and I was furious at him. The prosecution was just a pretext for grilling him. I don't understand anything about jury puddings."
She laughed again. "You mean jurisprudence. Still, I liked your style, the way that you challenged him. My friend Mr. Harbison is teaching an AP Law course this fall at your high school; I think you should try it out. Even if it doesn't appeal to you as a career, it may impress the colleges you look at."
"Thank you, your honor."
"Oh, I'm only honorable in court. So long, Ms. Girardi."
Joan accompanied her guest to the door. Once she was alone again, she smiled in triumph. At last, a grownup who thought highly of her! Aside from God Himself, and a few eccentrics like old Driesbach the history teacher, most grownups seemed to like taking her down, like Vice-Principal Price.
She went back in the stacks and found a book that she thought would make a good introduction to the subject. When she had sat at the reading table again and looked at a few pages, she heard a familiar voice behind her say: "'Law for Dummmies'? You're no dummy, Joan."
It was "Old Lady God". After Luke and Grace had joined in the secret the trio had decided to put labels on all the strangers, so they wouldn't have to keep saying things like "You know, the one with the earring and black lipstick."
"I figured you'd be by, after the judge visited," said Joan. "Have you seen Grace and Luke?"
"I see all," said the old lady.
"You know what I mean. And I don't mean that I want to hear about Grace's horse or Luke's latest computer."
"Everything is proceeding according to plan."
"Which is?"
"I'd rather not say. The less you know, the more freedom of action you have."
Joan sighed. "And I suppose your latest advice to me is equally cryptic."
"Not really. Take the Law course, Joan, and do your best at it."
"Wow, that's straightforward. So the Law's really important?"
"Yes." The old woman got up and started toward the door, then suddenly turned as if she remembered something. That was part of her act; Joan was sure that She never forgot anything for a second. "But there's one thing you should keep in mind, Joan. Two thousand years ago, somebody asked a wise rabbi to sum up the Law. He said 'Whatever is hateful to you, do not do to others. That is the Law, the rest is commentary.'" With that, and her customary wave, the Deity rounded a bookcase corner and disappeared.
Dinners at the Girardi's were always festive, given the combined culinary talents of Mom and Dad, but tonight's was especially so. Not only were Kevin and Lily back from their honeymoon, but Joan could deliver her own good news. Both Kevin and Will were familiar with Judge Claymore's name, and were suitably impressed. She left God's role out, of course.
After the meal Joan's parents exchanged an odd glance, and Will said: "Kevin, why don't we go into the garage and look at the boat?"
"Sure, Dad, though after seeing Niagara Falls, I feel defeated already." But he said that last statement cheerfully. Everybody knew that the boat was a lot more fun to build than it would be to float.
"Why don't you go with them, Joan?" asked Mom.
Joan could tell what was going on: clearing the menfolk and the virgin teenager out of the room so that she could have some frank girl talk with Lily. But virgin or not, Joan wanted to be included. She was nearly 18, dammit. "But, Mom, I haven't worked on the boat for nearly two years--"
"But it was your project to start with, and you might get interested again--"
"All right."
Joan followed her father and brother, but deliberately hung back. "You guys go ahead. I, um, need to go upstairs and pee." As they disappeared into the garage, Joan tiptoed near the kitchen window. She didn't think she should feel guilty about eavesdropping. Mom would tell Dad the important stuff, and Lily would tell Kevin, and Joan would be left out of the loop. It wasn't fair. And if she was being naughty, God would probably pop up and tell her so.
Mom's voice: So how went the honeymoon?
Lily: Just great. The falls were magnificent, one of the jewels of God's creation.
Mom: And--?
Lily: The American side was all industrialized, but the Canadians built a lovely park. I strolled there several times with Kevin.
Mom: And--?
Lily (severely): "If you're asking, Helen, whether Kevin and I were able to consummate the marriage in spite of his disability, then I'm going to say one word, and then I'm going to ask you to stay the hell out of my sex life.
Mom: (flustered): And the word is --?
Lily: Wow!
Joan snorted, to keep from laughing out loud. Not only was Lily's joke on Mom hilarious, but Joan at last knew that the accident hadn't deprived Kevin of one crucial pleasure. Which Joan herself had not experienced yet.
Mom: Well, now that I'm forbidden from discussing THAT subject, I might as well bring up something serious. I've come across a girl in trouble, a pregnant teenager. I hate to bother you with a counseling situation just after your honeymoon--
Lily (all business): I understand; crises are never convenient. Name?
Mom: Bonnie McLean.
Joan gasped. What the hell was Mom doing with Bonnie?
Lily: Address?
Mom: She's staying with a family called the Roves. Two hundred--
Joan couldn't stand to stay in hiding any longer. Charging into the house, she cried:
"Bonnie and Adam are together again! And that bitch is having his baby!"
(to be continued)