Love and Honor

Chapter 7 Honor and Love

On reaching the Rove house the Girardis split up. The parents decided to talk to Bonnie and Mr. Rove, not only telling her the good news but making sure she had a lot of grownup advice on spending the money wisely. This left Joan alone with Adam -- which was probably the idea. They went to the shed to talk, and that aroused a lot of poignant memories in Joan.

"So it isn't your child," Joan said.

"No," said Adam. "We always used protection. I knew from the start that her newer boyfriend was responsible."

"That's what Dad figured. But why did you get involved, then?"

"Bonnie was in trouble, Jane. And we had enough of a past that I felt honor-bound to do something."

"A past. So you're not in love with her now?"

"No. I wasn't really in love with her then. It was -- it's hard to explain to a girl. Lustful thoughts in my brain, and you wouldn't have any. I had the crazy idea that if I could satisfy the lust, I could deal with you better. Bonnie understood that at the time. To her it was one more hook-up, a pleasant game. To you, of course, it was a horrible betrayal."

"Yeah. I wasn't just jealous of Bonnie; I thought you were a jerk. That you had always been a jerk and that I had been deluded for a year. But now I realize that I was seeing you at your absolute worst. Now I'm seeing you at your best, showing a compassion and a sense of responsibility under a lot of stress. Adam, I - I'd like to start seeing you again. Pretend the last few months never happened."

His face lit up, then it fell. "Do you think it would work? The problems will still be there."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. You think I led you on and dropped you at the last minute. It wasn't on purpose, and I won't make that mistake again." She nerved herself to make the next statement. "I'm still scared of sex, Adam. And I don't think we want to embark on something new with senior year and a lot of decisions ahead of us. But I'll make you a promise. Before graduation, if you still want it, I'll make love with you."

"Let's not bind ourselves with promises, Jane. Just love, and be honest with each other."

They embraced, at last.

Joan wasn't sure how long it lasted; she was rather oblivious of the outside universe. But suddenly she heard her mother's voice behind her saying: "Well, it looks like THEY don't need our help."

Joan disentangled herself and turned around, to see the three grownups. "So what happened?

"Bonnie's agreed to give the child up for adoption, that she's not ready to raise a child," said Rove. "The money should be enough to pay the medical costs and then some. We're hoping that Bonnie's parents will forget about an abortion now that the pregnancy won't be a financial burden to them. If not, she'll let me set up a trust fund for her, to make sure the money doesn't get squandered. At least for the moment, she's relieved to have somebody else make the decisions. And once we know that she's staying for a time, we can make some changes in the house to accommodate her and us. I think that's a permissible use of the money. We'll tell Lily that we needn't depend on the charity."

"So she's going to be under my feet whenever I visit for the next six months," said Joan. "Crap!"

"Cheer up, Joan, it's for the best," said her father.

After a little more practical discussion, the Girardis got back in their car to drive home. Being summer, it was still light at this hour, and Joan spotted a familiar figure on the sidewalk: a bearded man, shabbily dressed, walking somebody's dogs for some extra money.

"Um, I left something back at Adam's," said Joan.

"Do you want us to drive back?"

"Nah, just let me out. I'll walk, and figure out a way home later."

They dropped her off, and she walked back to meet Dog-Walker God. She kept a few feet away, to make sure the various dogs didn't bite or pee on her. The Walker was divine, but his animals definitely weren't. Joan wondered if He had created them as part of his act or actually let himself be hired.

"I'm surprised that you didn't appear earlier, to make sure that I would do the right thing."

"I knew that you'd do the right thing, Joan. You've matured a lot in two years."

"Thank you," she said, startled and pleased. God was rarely that direct with praise. "But I wish you'd give the big picture. I know that you deliberately put me in touch with Adam and Grace two years ago, by having me enroll in their chemistry class. I know Grace's role now. But did you intend for Adam to be my life companion, or did you just send him because I asked for a boyfriend?"

"Do you really want to know what the future holds, Joan? Let your love be a mystery. Though I admit that I allowed recent events to unfold, so that you could learn forgiveness. Before you plunge into the study of law, you need to understand that some things are beyond the law. By the way, there is still one more task."

"I know. But I hate it."

"You'll feel better afterward, Joan. That, I can predict." He went off, controlling the dogs with one hand and making his characteristic wave with the other.

Joan went further back, to the Rove house, and rang the doorbell. The door was answered by Bonnie.

Joan glared. This was the girl who had seduced Adam, and fastened herself onto the family like a leach, and lied to Joan's Mom about the real situation. And she looked frightened, probably wondering if Joan was going to slug her.

What to do? Suddenly Joan's professional training at the bookstore came to her rescue. She willed her face into a smile, and addressed her enemy.

"Can I help you?"

THE END