Chapter 2- Life Goes On…For Everyone Else

It had been a few days since Buffy's confusing meeting with Spike in the graveyard. Since then things had gotten insanely crazy and then eventually calmed down ( for the most part).

Willow had been showing a growing addiction to her magick lately and Tara finally called her on it. The result was the biggest fight they had ever had. It began with screaming, lies, and Tara threatening to leave. But it had ended with sad embraces, tears, and Willow promising to quit for good. Things were still shaky between them but you could already tell that they were going to work things out.

As for the other Scooby Gang couple it was a slightly different story. Things between Xander and Anya seemed to be running hot and cold lately. One extreme to another. They were either so lovey-dovey that it made you physically ill to be in the same room with them…or…they were bickering like an old married couple (already). Either way anyone in their presence couldn't help but notice the obvious love radiating between the two. However, they had already begun the frighteningly large amount of planning that they had to get done and pre-wedding jitters were making them both extremely nervous. Being around them was, to say the least, intense.

The other Scoobies were also equally engrossed in their own lives. Giles had moved back to England (although he would return temporarily for Xander and Anya's wedding). He realized that Buffy was an adult now and she needed to deal with her life on her own. Learn from her own mistakes. Although she wasn't ecstatic about his decision, she understood where he was coming from and let him go with a sweet, slightly tear-filled goodbye.

And as for Dawn, well, she was completely wrapped up in her teenage life: friends, school, boys, and shopping. Buffy hardly ever saw her but when she did Dawn was as bubbly and happy as ever.

So all her friends (and even her little sister!) were entirely wrapped up in their own important lives.

But Buffy was still trying to figure out what she wanted to do with her life. She wished things were the way they were before; pre-Glory. When she was wrapped in her own life: college, loving human boyfriend, Scooby Gang, and slaying. She didn't even know yet if she was going back to college, but odds were she'd have some kind of job either way. The Scooby Gang was busy with their own lives and slaying was…well…slaying. And as for the whole boyfriend thing that brings her back to most recent problem: Spike.

Spike.

She just didn't know what to do about him. She had feelings for him. She did. But was that enough? If she allowed herself to fall in love with him what would happen? The way she looked at it she had three options.

She could completely deny her feelings for him and push him out of her life for good. Oh, yeah that sounds like fun. Break the man I practically loves heart. Great plan, Buff. Besides, how could I do that to him? After everything he did for Dawn? For me? No. That's not an option anymore. Too much has happened.

She could explain to him that all she wants is friendship with him and hope he'll be ok with that. I like that one. It's safe and easy and I don't have to admit how I feel. I could hide behind a mask of friendship until these confusing feelings go away. I won't be hurting him and I won't be risking anything…Yup, I like this plan.

But then there was the oddly tempting third option: tell the truth. Tell him I care about him deeply and could completely fall in love with him. See joy light up his eyes. I could potentially be incredibly happy if I told him how I feel…but I don't think I have the guts to do it. So many things could go wrong. It could ruin everything. And how would the Scooby Gang react?

Buffy sat on her couch weighing the decision in her mind.

What I am I going to do?

Hope you enjoyed. I promise Spike will be in the next chapter. Please review!