Hello, my lovely readers! Just a quick post with a small chapter, to let you know I haven't given up on this story! I've been very busy with work and haven't had much inspiration to write. So this is just a small text that'll tide me over until I get to the next part of the story, that's already written, and that will move the story along. Hope to complete this chapter by the end of the month and move forward then. Thank you for your patience and understanding! Enjoy.

April 11th, Thursday

0815 hours

5-0 headquarters

(13 days' radio silence since last text message; 58 days since first text message)

Steve and Danny rush to a crime scene, eager to at least wrap up the preliminary processing, with the help of HPD and the crime lab. They have to be at the courthouse at 3 p.m. for the opening statements of the terrorism trial that wreaked havoc on the island, on January 18th, and that is the last thing they want to miss, today.

Despite a huge work load that's kept the team super busy these last few days, Danny can detect an even greater shift in Steve's behaviour. His patience has been wearing thin on several, uncalled for, occasions; his answers have been snippier than usual and his attendance on 5-0 social outings non-existent, always with the same worn-out excuses. Danny had hoped that Steve's therapy sessions might've calmed the man down and brought out his mellower, nicer, more amused and sociable side. Instead, he notes that Steve is becoming more cantankerous, curmudgeonly, surly and moody. He almost refrains from asking, but in true Danny style, he can't help himself. Cargument it is.

"Steve, I'm going to preempt this conversation with a 'Sorry, but I have to ask'. You've been impossible these past few days, everyone's noticed. What is going on with you?"

Steve sighs, surprised it took Danny this long to press on the matter that everyone else has been so carefully tiptoeing around. But that doesn't mean he wants to go into the truth, though. "It's this trial, Danny. It's got me on edge."

"Steve, you know Zahed will most likely be found guilty and put away for life, so why the attitude lately? It can't be just that that's been going on with you?"

"Even when Zahed's trial is over, you know it won't be the end of this matter. We need to find Al-Nazri."

Danny looks at Steve, surprised. "You know damn well that we've been trying our best, Steve! We even allocated resources to that investigation, which the Governor ultimately scolded you on…"

"I know, Danny, it's nobody's fault. And yet… we found nothing else of relevance to the case. We're even stalled on the death of Alani Kealoha! The FBI were unable to find out more, and neither have we."

"That's how cases go, and you know it. At any moment, a piece of intel may surface that will move us along. You are well aware of this. Why are you taking this case to heart?"

"People died, Danny."

"Unfortunately, Steve, people die every day. It's the nature of the job and you know it. Tell me why this case, in particular, is affecting you so much."

"I guess it's because the mastermind behind all this is still missing. Laughing in our faces."

"He's not laughing in our faces, you chased him into the mountains of Afghanistan, right? He's probably living in a cave, afraid to show himself for fear of the US Military capturing him. That's not a life anyone wants…"

"But he's free to continue plotting against us. And we can't do anything about it."

"The Military is aware of the threat, you know that! You yourself, you went to Afghanistan and almost caught him. I'm sure they kept looking after you left, right?"

Steve thinks of his time in Shindand and cringes at how much has happened since then. "I guess, Danny, sure. But their motivation is nothing like ours was."

Silence. Steve can feel Danny's cogs turning in his brain and hopes it's not because of the use of a plural, where a singular should've been. "Ours? Who's WE?"

Damn. Crap. Breathe slowly and answer as casually as you can, without a hint of nervousness in your voice. "You and me, Danny, us and the team, who else? The people of Hawai'i we represent."

"I didn't go to Afghanistan, Steve, so the question was pertinent. Although, sometimes, I wish I had gone. Perhaps then I'd know why you came back so different."

"I'm the same as I've always been, Danny," Steve answers, hands on the wheel, eyes on the road, trying not to make a big deal of his sentence.

"You really believe that, don't you? Wow. Amazing. There is no worse blind than the one who doesn't want to see."

Steve looks at Danny, now amused. "Blind? Me?"

Danny is serious, though. "Yes. Blind to everything going on around you, apart from work. You changed, Steve, and not for the better."

Steve sighs, deflecting. "It's this trial, Danny, I need it to be over. I need us to find Al-Nazri. Then I'll get back to normal."

"And when will that be, Steve? If it takes him 10 years to surface, will I have to wait 10 years to have my friend, my brother, back?"

Steve slows down and heads for the curb, putting the car in park. He looks at Danny finally, realising what his friend has been trying to say. "Have I been acting that different lately, Danny?"

Danny joins his eyebrows together, annoyed. "Seriously, Steve? What have I been telling you ever since you returned from Afghanistan? I had high hopes for your therapy sessions, but they seem to have done more harm than good! You seem to have become disconnected from life with the Ohana! You never want to come out with us, you're always serious and on the go, job, job, job, no time for relaxation, no time to party, no time for sports, no time to even see Charlie, not even for your morning swims, lately!"

With annoyance, Steve listens to Danny's rant, begrudging his every word. But suddenly, as he analyses his behaviour of late, he realises Danny is right. He also knows that if Danny knew what was going on, things would be much easier. For both of them. Well, not at first, to be sure. But once he'd get over the shock… "Fine, Danny, my place, tonight." And with that, he gets back on the road.

"Should I bring beers? A cake? Because this is a momentous occasion! Steve McGarrett is finally opening up!"

"Don't push your luck. If you want to talk, I'll talk. No sarcasm, Danny. I've not been in the mood, lately."

Danny looks at Steve again, suddenly struck by the sensation that whatever has been going on with his brother, it's much more serious than he ever thought. Again, he feels hurt that Steve chose not to trust him with this important, life-altering event, but decides to keep quiet about it, again. "Thanks, buddy. Tonight, your place. I'll be there."

The beginning of the trial goes as expected. The defense tries to paint Ahmed Zahed as a victim in another terrorist's plot and the prosecution tries to paint him as guilty, ultimately, of the death of several people. Both 5-0 and HPD put up a united front and make it a point of staying till the end of opening statements, before the trial breaks until the following week. As they are leaving, Special Agent Curtis approaches Steve, signaling to him.

"Commander, good to see you again."

"Special Agent Curtis, I didn't expect to find you here, today. What's the FBI's interest in this case?"

Special Agent Curtis nods in the direction of a quiet corner, happy that the rest of 5-0 seem to be regrouping elsewhere. "Commander, we've heard there's been movement in Afghanistan."

Steve stills, ramrod straight, adrenaline pumping within. "What kind of movement?"

"I know you probably expected to hear of new developments from your side of the forces, but no one knows anything for sure. My contact in the CIA gave me a heads up last week that some movement by Al-Nazri or his men has been spotted for the last couple of weeks, or so, but I don't know anything more."

Steve smiles, thoughts of Catherine in Afghanistan swirling around in his brain, doubly frustrated. "So… no other intel?"

"Like I said, the information is merely trickling through, you know how well the Agency likes to share information. I was just curious to see who showed up for Zahed's trial. I figured depending on who showed up, we might be able to gauge his importance in this whole affair. As it turns out, we got a surprise or two."

"He's just an entry-level terrorist. Why would Al-Nazri care what happens to him, unless…"

"Exactly, Commander," Curtis says, smiling sadly. "He knows more than he's letting on. We need to pump him for information."

"At this stage in the game? Good luck, his lawyer is guarding him like a hawk and believe me, nothing gets past that man."

"Well, we may have acquired some leverage, lately. Why don't you come to headquarters, say, 1900 hours? I'll show you mine, since you were kind enough to show me yours."

Without thinking twice, Steve smiles and nods. "Sure, I'll be there. Count me in."

"Alone, Commander. It's better that way and you may later convey the information to your team. But for right now, it's best we keep this under wraps and the fewer people witness the interrogation, the better."

"You got it. I'll see you at nineteen hundred hours."

He lets Danny know they'll have to postpone their beers and serious heart to heart till the next day and goes home to take a shower. This should be an interesting turn of events.

The "Conversation", at the FBI, turns out to be a complete surprise for Steve – it seems they've managed to "coax" Eddie Friske into helping, to a degree. If he's found guilty of helping a terrorist, ultimately – that is, if law enforcement can find a connection between his business dealings and to this case - he'll probably spend the rest of his life in prison and he knows it. So, he's not against sharing what he knows of William Prentiss' business dealings, where they pertain to the bombings on the island, in exchange for certain assurances against prosecution in this case. Besides, his hatred of William Prentiss and desire to distance himself between what happened and the good people of Hawai'i is a gold trump card that Agent Curtis is more than willing to exploit. He even hopes this will help him being found not guilty for his other "affliction" with the law. Agent Prentiss and Steve doubt that'll happen, but they're not about to let him know. Besides, it seems seeing himself embroiled in this affair has done nothing to help Friske's "man of the people" public persona. He knows things and he's willing to share. What leverage or compromises the Bureau has had to abdicate or make, is not Steve's concern. He also never asks. Honestly, he doesn't care. The ultimate prize is something entirely different and much bigger than one single man.

Steve watches the interrogation from behind the two-way mirror, itching to interrupt every five minutes or so; he just wants to remove Eddie Friske's smug smile with a punch, every time he claims not to know a detail it's obvious he's holding onto, for leverage. In the end, he provides the FBI with information that strongly suggests that William Prentiss has crossed the proverbial moral line into terrorism. This means he can be accused of domestic terrorism and tried under different, more serious charges. Agent Curtis and Steve decide to inform Zahed's lawyer of the new information and let him know they'll be amending the charges against his client. Maybe this way, he'll be more open to talking to law enforcement. This is good leverage and Steve is feeling upbeat by the time he gets home.

Suddenly, after dropping his keys on the side table and kicking his shoes under the table, he realises he's been so engrossed in the day's events, he hasn't even looked at his phone in hours. The day's good news allow him to hope, like he's scarcely allowed himself to hope lately, that there may be a message or some kind of "proof of life" from Catherine in it. There's no real, logical reason for expecting today to be any different from the past two months – 'God, has it been THAT long'? – but he's feeling semi-happy today, so he's hoping harder, or hoping, at all. It's high time for some good news, time for his personal life to take a turn for the better. Time, he thinks, to start healing.

Imbued by such positive thoughts, he checks his phone. He brings it to life, presses his finger into the scanner and dials the voice messaging system. "You have 0 new messages. To hear the previously recorded messages, press 2." A dull pain settles in his chest. It's not as though he didn't know that this was the most likely outcome. He did. But hope springs eternal and… fuck it. Fuck hope. Fuck happiness. Fuck changing and putting on a happy face for the sake of others. Fuck Danny. Fuck the Ohana. Fuck Catherine. He briefly considers an evening swim, but gives up on the idea, he's too angry to enjoy the zen experience as it should be enjoyed. Then he thinks of Danny and his promise, that afternoon. Is he really willing to have to go through the whole explaining what happened, only to hear Danny scold him and throw him nasty looks and tell him "I told you so's" from here to the moon? He's an adult, for fuck's sake! He doesn't need to justify himself – or feel guilty for sleeping with a woman whom he once loved. Even if it meant going back to an emotional point in time where he wished he'd never have to go back to. But unfortunately, it seems he's back there. Not due to his own fault, but there it is. Nothing he can do about it. All he can do is try to forget her, because clearly, she doesn't want to be contacted. Then, he thinks of Dr. Alana's words, but he's angry and doesn't want to consider the possibility that he touched on a valid point. How often does Catherine check her phone? How well does she manage to check messages, voice or otherwise? Or answer them safely, for that matter? 'Details, details, I don't care about details. It's been long enough, she should've managed to get back to me by now. I'll just have to forget about her. I'm tired, I'm done. I've suffered enough for this love, I am fed up'.

He moves to the kitchen, feeds Eddie and climbs the stairs to his room. Despite his anger, he can't truly let go, without knowing what happened. It's not in his nature and he knows that once he tells Danny what's been going on, he'll ask him if he did everything in his power to contact Catherine. He'll want to make sure the matter is truly well done and dusted, so Steve can really move on – and maybe accept one of his romantic setups. He cringes, just thinking about it.

As he's contemplating all these thoughts swirling around in his brain, he unwittingly scrolls down his call log a little bit too fast, landing on a call made a few weeks earlier, in the middle of a quaint little Hawai'i twin, halfway around the globe. Throwing caution to the wind, he redials the same number and leans against his headboard, in the dark, looking out into the brightly shining full moon, hoping it's a sign that he should be doing this. Four rings later, he hears a click and a pleasant voice greets him.

"Steve, hello, how are you doing?"

"Mrs. Rollins, how are you? I am sorry for calling so late…"

"It's Elizabeth, Steve, we've been over this enough times."

"Sorry, Elizabeth. How's the Admiral?"

"Oh, you know, always busy, running around. Seems I hardly get to see him, during the week. But never mind that. is everything OK with you?"

"Me? Oh, yes, everything is fine."

"Were you able to meet up with Catherine, last time?"

Steve tries, but fails, to detect any hint of knowledgeable pretension, hidden under the guise of ignorance. Elizabeth Rollins seems to genuinely not know what transpired between them. "Yes, I called her up and we met. Thank you for getting in touch with her."

"Don't mention it, Steve. Whenever you need, you just give me a call, you know that."

"Actually, Elizabeth, I've been hesitating to call for a few days, now," he goes on, not wanting to alarm her with the disclosure that it's probably been weeks, not days. "I kind of need to get in touch with Catherine again, and she hasn't answered my texts, so I was wondering if you might know if she's on an assignment, or something." While he says it, he silently prays for a logical explanation, but dreads it at the same time. Not that Elizabeth Rollins would so calmly talk to him if something had happened to her own daughter; not that she'd know, anyway, if anything had gone wrong, until the final bad news had to be given. He breathes deeply, trying to ward off bad thoughts, and waits for her answer.

"Steve, you can call anytime, you know that. I haven't spoken to her for a few weeks, but you know, that job of hers keeps her so busy, sometimes she stays off the radar for weeks. We've gotten used to it, so I try not to worry or even think about it, really. Not much I can do. That daughter of mine has always had a mind of her own."

Elizabeth Rollins smiles as she says it and Steve can't help but smile too, despite his disappointment. The fact that she's been maintaining radio silence even from her parents is not reassuring at all. He can't draw any conclusion from her absence, he'll have to go on in ignorance. And he just hates it.