Mob was not too old for dolls.

Minori said that she was but…but what Minori didn't know couldn't hurt her. Besides, the no dolls rule was just because she didn't want people to see her playing dolls or to find out about it, since eleven year olds were not supposed to play with dolls, but since she was across the ocean in America and Mob was in Japan then it was ok. It was ok for her to play with her dolls and wear her hair in braids and wear her Elsa t-shirt and the blue tutu skirt and her long Elsa socks with the snowflakes and her giant sweater and just…do kid stuff. Because she was a kid. She was a kid and she was going to do kid stuff and this couldn't have been so bad, what she had been doing, because Minegishi was playing with her and they were twenty eight years old which was a lot more than eleven.

Mob knew math.

She knew that Minegishi was seventeen years older than her so if they could play dolls with her then it was ok. Minori was older than her, she was born in January and Mob had been born in May, but a difference of years was worth more than a difference of months…or something. Mob didn't know. She just knew that she wanted to play dolls with her best friend so she would play dolls with her best friend and then that would be that. She was going to play dolls like a kid because she was a kid and kids did not think about the stuff that she had been thinking about all the time lately, her stupid brain was putting weird thoughts in her head all the time, and that would be that.

She was still a kid.

"Ok, now they can vote on if they want Belle to move in." said Mob. She picked up her pen from on the ground and inhaled without thinking. She could feel Minegishi's aura on her. She was still using moderation so it was ok. She had to smoke just a little bit. Her brain had been all…weird…since coming to Japan.

All really weird.

That was why they were at her house, and not just because she had this giant dollhouse with working lights and everything, because her house had nothing at all that would remind her of Hatori or any other boys who weren't related to her. Even all of her dolls were girls. Well she had some dolls of guys but they weren't important to the games. They were just for when she played at them falling in love and stuff…and she did not want to play at that around Minegishi…or at all…because playing at love made her feel that weird and gross feeling…

So instead they would be playing at the game of princess roommates.

"Why does everyone get a vote?" asked Minegishi as she spun Elsa around by her braid…which was not the way to play with Elsa…but Minegishi would never have intentionally hurt one of her dolls so that was ok. At least they were playing for real. Sho always tried to make them have fist fights and wrestling matches, Dad just sort of held them and stared at them, and Minori complained more than she played. She was glad that she had someone who actually played with her…even though they were an adult…

And she was much too old to be playing with dolls, too.

"What do you mean?" asked Mob. Everyone got a vote because Elsa was nice like that. She was the queen and she invited all of her friends to live with her in her giant house after they ran away from their homes and stuff. She was nice and she was going to ask people if they wanted to live with someone new. Especially since Belle would be moving into the library and that was a shared space. You had to always share the shared spaces.

"Well if this is Elsa's house then shouldn't she be the one to decide who stays and who goes? Isn't she the only queen?" asked Minegishi. Mob shook her head. Minegishi fundamentally misunderstood Elsa as a person…but that was ok. A lot of people did. A lot of people thought that she was selfish for hiding away from Anna but it made sense because she was afraid that she would hurt her sister. Mob could count the times when she had lost control and accidentally hurt Sho on one hand but she still felt terrible about what she had done. Elsa was a lot like her like that. She felt so bad about what happened to Anna that she stopped hanging out with or talking to her sister for years. So she was a nice person like that, just had to understand, and that was ok.

Sometimes people were hard to understand like that.

She was just glad that Minegishi was playing with her. She was too old for this, she knew that she was too old, but…but having someone even older around made this ok. This was ok and…and she was ok. She was ok enough that maybe she could take off her sweater…later. She just felt better with it on even though it was so hot that she had to wipe the sweat off of her forehead with her sweater.

She was fine, though, even if it was really hot and sticky even with the air conditioner on.

"Elsa…I'm not sure if she's the only queen…but she is a nice person even if she does outrank everyone else in the house. I think that Ariel might have become a queen since in the second movie she has a daughter and also we never see Eric's parents around…and also maybe Belle is a queen since we never see a king or a queen…but there's still voting because Elsa is nice like that." Said Mob. Even when you were the most important person, the highest ranking person, you still had to be nice. Mob was the highest ranking person in her friend group but she never said anything…unless she had to…and she hated it when she had to.

"Alright, if you say so. I think that the red haired one votes that they execute her and Mulan seconds the motion." Said Minegishi. They had put Elsa down, now, and now they were playing with Merida's bow….and Merida didn't use her bow on people…and also Mob didn't know why Minegishi always went right to executions. They always made at least one of the dolls die when they played together. That was just how they were…even when it didn't fit…but that was ok. They could play however they wanted to play but Mob…well she would have liked to know why.

"Why do you think so?" asked Mob. Minegishi was her best friend, that was why they had these matching bracelets, but she didn't always understand them. She couldn't understand why such a nice person like Minegishi, and a person who could be sort of mean sometimes could still be nice, would make such sad things happen in their game…but Mob was bad at understanding herself let alone another person.

"Because they're the most bloodthirsty." Said Minegishi with a shrug. Mob shook her head. Just because Merida had a bow and Mulan had a sword didn't make them blood thirsty. It just meant that they were the only dolls that Sho would willingly play with.

"But…they aren't. They have weapons but that doesn't mean that they're bloodthirsty." said Mob

"Merida is, definitely, ready to start shooting people with that bow and Mulan, well, she did kill pretty much the whole Hun army. Once you start killing people it's hard to stop." Said Minegishi. They shrugged again. The seemed like they knew what they were talking about, sort of, since they talked like they did….but they wouldn't actually killing people…they just knew about things and stuff…from books. They were a nice person. They didn't go around killing people. They were Minegishi.

"Really?" asked Mob. Maybe that was why people killed other people. If it was hard to stop them, well, maybe that was why there were so many people out there who killed other people. If Sho's movies were to be believed the world was full of people killing other people…and in very creative ways…too. Ways that Mob, if she were in charge of the world, would make sure that they never put in the movies again. She didn't get scary movies sometimes…or scary things that happened in life.

"Really." Said Minegishi with a shrug. They didn't look at Mob when they said that…and Mob didn't know if that meant something or not. She got the feeling that it did but she knew not to trust her feelings when it came to things like this. Talking things.

"How do you know?" asked Mob. They wouldn't have….they wouldn't have actually killed anyone…would they? No, of course not. They were Minegishi. They were too nice to do things like that.

"I just know, Mob, so don't take up killing people, it's a bad habit." Said Minegishi. They didn't look at her when they said that. They looked down at the doll in their hands and then at the dollhouse…and Mob felt like maybe they were trying not to look at her…and she didn't know why. She also didn't know why they called murder a bad habit. A bad habit was how Sho left his stuff all over the house or like how dad never put his ketchup glasses in the sink or like how she spent so much time thinking about kissing Hatori…those were bad habits. Murder was murder.

"I think it counts as more than a bad habit." Said Mob before she inhaled again from her pen. She knew that she was supposed to use moderation…and she had been using moderation….moderation didn't mean stopping completely. It just meant not doing this too much. That was all…and she had a good reason. Her own bad habit. She just couldn't stop thinking about Hatori….and Shimazaki when he wasn't saying anything or doing anything….and also that boy who she kissed once…and one time she had seen this really cute boy in Starbucks…

Not a good habit at all.

Not as bad as killing people….if you thought about killing people as a bad habit….but it was still a bad habit. When she thought about boys she felt gross and when she felt gross…well she didn't like to think about that. She wasn't ready to feel gross. She didn't want to feel gross and she didn't want to….to think about stuff….stuff that she was not supposed to think about. Thinking about stuff could have made….well it made people think that she would do stuff…and she didn't do stuff. She was just eleven and…and she had only kissed one boy in her entire eleven years of life…and she just…even that was gross. She shouldn't have thought about that and…and she just…she just wished…

She wished that she could have been ten again.

When she had been ten she didn't have to worry about thinking about stuff or feeling gross. She just….she had been able to worry about other stuff. Like running Claw and taking care of baby Mukai and dad being gone off on a very long away mission without even telling her where he would be going or when he would be back….normal stuff like that. She would have gone through all of that again, even saying goodbye to baby Mukai, if it meant that she could go back to normal.

But she couldn't go back, she could only go forward, so this was what life was….but at least she got to smoke more often.

"And speaking of bad habits…" said Minegishi as they took her pen from her hand. Mob let them even though she was using plenty of moderation. She wasn't getting stoned, that was when she went too hard, she was just…making the thoughts in her head shut up or slow down. Minegishi didn't understand, probably, since they didn't worry about stuff like this. When they wanted to kiss a boy they just kissed Shimazaki and they never felt gross about it. When Mob wanted to kiss a boy she couldn't just find a boy and kiss him, no, she could just sit and think about it…and then the weird and gross feeling would come back…and sometimes she would even just….she didn't even want to think about what happened next…

And she was not going to explain it to Minegishi.

No. They were, well they had been born a girl, so maybe they knew what all of…that…was. That stuff that…that Mob needed to stop thinking about. She just…she wanted to know but also…also she was not going to talk to anyone about that. Especially not her best friend. This was private, so private, and…and she knew that Minegishi would never make fun of her…so she just…just…would not be asking them about…any of this…anytime soon.

Besides, smoking helped…when she was allowed to.

"I'm using moderation." Said Mob. She sounded like Sho there…at least she thought that she did…and she wished that she hadn't. Sho was little and he could sound like that but she was not little…but she wanted to be…but she was….she was and she wasn't and it was complicated and…and she had been using moderation so there was no reason to get all twisted up over this.

"Really? Because that's the third time I've seen you do that in an hour. Slow down." Said Minegishi. Mob reached for her pen but Minegishi wouldn't give it back. They wouldn't keep it forever, they never did, they would just keep it until they had decided that enough time had passed…and then by the time that came around she would just…have to start all over again.

"I am being slowed down." Said Mob. She felt like Sho….but Sho was little and he could act like…like he did. He could cross his arms and stomp his feet and tell her that she was being mean…and she wouldn't act like that…and stuff. She would just…she just needed one more and then…and then she could be done.

"Yeah, because I'm slowing you down. Now come on, let's get back to dolls." Said Minegishi. She picked up her Elsa doll…and she did feel like playing…but she also felt like…like she didn't know. She wiped the sweat from her head. She was…gross feeling….and she just…one more. That was all she needed. Just one more and then she would be done.

"Ok…but one more? I just…have a lot on my mind." Said Mob. Minegishi sighed and passed her back the pen.

"What's on your mind, Mob? Is your dad being weird again?" asked Minegishi as Mob inhaled. She shook her head and exhaled slowly. Dad was always weird but he hadn't been any more weird than normal lately. Well clingy and weird but he always got weirder and weirder as the summer went on. Maybe because he was sad about Mob. That was why she and Sho were sad during the summers. Mob could remember that last summer they'd had together. They had spent a lot of time with mom and taken a lot of long walks…and it had been nice…until they woke up and mom was gone…just…totally gone….but she didn't want to think about that.

"Dad is always weird, that's how he is, but that's not what's on my mind just…I can't tell you." Said Mob

"Mob…well you say cryptic things like that, that you can't tell me, then I worry about you. You know that you can tell me anything, right?" said Minegishi

"I know…but this is just…it's not a bad thing just….a thing that I don't want to talk about." Said Mob

"Mob, you sure it's not a bad thing? Because you're talking like it is." Said Minegishi. Mob shook her head, she hadn't meant to make it sound bad.

"Um…it is…and it isn't just. I don't know. I feel gross because of….stuff…and I don't want to feel gross but….but I do. So that's what's on my mind." Said Mob

"Gross…because of what? Mob, if something's wrong you can tell me." Said Minegishi. They were playing with their t-shirt now and they did that when they were worried sometimes. Their aura was stretching out looking for plants, too, and Mob didn't know what they were so worried about. Nothing was wrong…nothing serious…at least nothing that they could fix. Nothing that they would be able to fix so…so maybe she shouldn't have wanted to tell them…but she did want to tell them and…and they were always such a good listener…and they would never make fun of her.

"Just...I feel gross because of…of what Fukuda said…about me…and stuff." Said Mob. She pulled her sweater close around herself. How could Fukuda have thought that about her, that she did stuff, and that she would do it with Shimazaki of all people? He was…Shimazaki. Also he was in love with her best friend and also he was best friends with Sho and that was not something that she was going to mess with…and also she didn't even want to kiss him let alone do naked bed adult stuff with him!

"Is he running his mouth again? Because if he is he's said the last thing that he will ever say. That fucking-" said Minegishi. No, no, no! She did not need her friends to fight! Even if Fukuda wasn't her friend anymore…she just….she did not need anyone fighting with anyone else. She hated it. Friends should never fight….well Fukuda wasn't anyone's friend but dad's…not even Sho's anymore…but he was still coworkers with everyone…and coworkers shouldn't fight either. Nobody should ever fight with everyone.

"No, no, he hasn't said anything else and he hasn't been an f-wording….whatever you were going to say after that. I'm just still….I still feel gross about what he said before and….and sometimes I think about…about stuff that's gross to think about and….and I try not to think about that kind of stuff because it's gross and it makes me feel gross but my brain keeps on making me think about that stuff and…and I don't want to but…it just…I've just been feeling very gross lately." Said Mob. She wondered if she had said the wrong thing. Minegishi was drumming their fingers against the ground and taking deep breaths. Mob watched them sitting and breathing…and she knew that they had said that they would never be mad at her…but there was a first time for everything….and she didn't want them to be mad but…but if they were then she would have understood.

But they weren't mad.

They just reached over, took her pen from her hand, and inhaled. She let them. Friends didn't always have to ask….though they had just been telling her about moderation….but that was ok. They were twenty eight and she was eleven so the rules were different between them two of them…and Mob wanted to be an adult…but also she wanted to stay a kid…and stuff. She wished that she could have been a younger kid. Then she wouldn't have had to feel so gross all the time…most of the time…

Growing up…it wasn't always good.

"Ok…Mob, fuck Fukuda. Fuck him. Fuck everything he says and does and just fuck that man." Said Minegishi as they exhaled. Mob shook her head. She would never…f-word…anyone. Even someone who was mean to her, well not nice, and also who had to fight with everyone.

"Minegishi…that's mean." Said Mob. That was a lot of times to say the f-word…and she didn't want…well she didn't want to f-word anyone and she just wanted…she wanted everyone to just get along. Fukuda may have had trouble making friends, he didn't have a friend in the world besides dad and dad wasn't a good friend most of the time, but he didn't deserve to have such mean things said about him. He just….he was a person who had been nice before and…and she didn't want…she didn't think that he deserved that. No matter how mean he was he didn't deserve that.

"I don't give a fuck. Fuck him. He shouldn't have shot his mouth off like that and now you have all of this shit in your head…and get that out of your head. Just….I wasted years of my life with that shit in my head and I am not going to let you do the same." Said Minegishi. They shook their head and closed their eyes…and Mob watched them. They had said….that they had felt the same? Minegishi? That Minegishi? The Minegishi who she had known since she had been eight? Minegishi who kept their hair super short, died it lavender, and wore boy's clothes everywhere? Minegishi who wasn't scared of anything, who called themselves 'they' even though people thought it was weird and still called them 'she' sometimes…lots of jerks in the world….and who told the jerks of the world to f-word off? Minegishi who was just….Minegishi? Minegishi had felt gross?

How…did that…even work?

"You…felt gross….too?" asked Mob. They could not imagine Minegishi being her. Mob could not imagine Minegishi being eleven and waking up in the middle of the night from weird dreams…worrying about being…weird and stuff. Mob could not imagine Minegishi as a kid at all. To imagine them as a kid meant imagining them as a girl, since they hadn't been a 'they' since they had been older, and Mob just…could not imagine Minegishi as a girl. This whole thing was just…beyond something that she could…she could not begin to understand.

"Well, yeah, it's hard not to feel gross when you're a kid and everyone is telling you that you're disgusting for even thinking about…you are not me. You're thinking…I'm guessing that you've been thinking about guys a lot." Said Minegishi. Mob….could not picture Minegishi being her age….but they must have been her age before…and they…knew? They knew…well she had no idea how much they knew…but she knew that they knew about the thoughts about boys…and stuff? They just…they knew? Well they liked boys…boys and girls….so they must have thought about them then….and kissing stuff too since they kissed Shimazaki all the time…and that was….that was….

That made her feel better.

"Um….yes….but don't tell anyone." Said Mob. This could not get out. Then people would think that she…she would do the things that she thought about…and worse things. Not that she thought about the worse things, the naked things, she never thought naked thoughts. Just…just kissing thoughts…but everyone would think that she thought naked thoughts if they knew about the kissing thoughts…and Fukuda already thought that she not only had naked thoughts but did naked THINGS and she did not need people, more people, thinking that she did stuff like that….because she didn't! And especially with Shimazaki of all people! She would never do anything like that to her best friend….and also Shimazaki was…himself.

"Is my name Fukuda? No, I am not going to go around telling everyone your business." Said Minegishi. Mob let out a breath that she hadn't know that she had been holding. Of course they wouldn't go around telling people. They were her best friend and best friends did not talk about stuff like that to people.

"Thank you." Said Mob. She leaned over and hugged Minegishi. They reached over and hugged her right back. They were the kind of friends who hugged. They had said, before when they had first met, that they would not be the kind of friends who hugged. But now they were…so maybe…maybe time passing, getting older, and all of that wasn't so bad. At least she got Minegishi hugs.

"Yeah, you're welcome. Anyway you're thinking about guys a lot and it's not gross, ok? It's normal. Think about all the guys you want to and…yeah. That's normal." Said Minegishi with a shrug. Mob wished that she could have recorded that forever. Minegishi telling her that she was normal. That was…she felt…normal. Minegishi said that she was normal. She didn't feel normal but…but she at least felt…a little less gross.

"Even if…it's just…something that makes me feel all…weird…but also…good weird?" asked Mob quietly. She couldn't look at Minegishi with her eyes and her aura while she said that. She didn't want them to know but….but she needed to know what all of this was about and…and she knew that it was weird but…but Minegishi had said that it was normal and they had never lied to her before. They were her best friend and their best friend was not a liar.

"Yeah, that's a normal feeling. You're normal, you're perfectly normal, and fuck anyone who tells you that you aren't. Ok?" asked Minegishi. Mob nodded. She nodded so hard that her braids hit her in the face. She just…she was normal? But if this was normal then why hadn't it happened before? Why…no. If Minegishi said that this was normal then….well they didn't know the whole story of it…but she was not going to go into that now or ever.

"Ok…thanks. Thank you. Um…we can have them execute Belle if you want…so that's what we're going to do…if you want to." Said Mob. She wanted to get back to what they had been doing. That had been too much…too much talk about…about stuff. She was normal. Minegishi had said that she was normal and that was…that was a good feeling and all but….but she would rather not think about this….about all of her weirdness and her weird feelings….about all of it…

So she played dolls with her best friend like a kid…because she was a kid….and she was still young enough to play dolls even though it didn't always feel like it.