For Ali and Fizzy

Mariano Investigations Part 3: Oy, With the Demons…

Rory Gilmore sighed as she hopped into her car. Friday night dinner had been fairly normal. Nothing new had been brought up…no one tried to kill anyone. In her book it had been fairly successful.

She set her thoughts on going back to school, as she pulled out of the driveway.

And then she set her thoughts on not going back to school.

New Haven or New York.

She took the New York exit.

She didn't notice the blue truck that had been following her the whole way.

Dean Forrester grimaced as he followed his girlfriend down the highway.

-----

Jess entered the dark, Sixth Street alley just in time to see Logan finish off the demon. "Huh."

Logan looked up and smirked proudly. "This one is mine."

Jess nodded. "Okay. Thanks." He turned to leave.

"Hey!" Logan called.

Jess stopped walking and turned around. "Yeah?"

"Aren't you pissed off?"

Jess gave him a confused look. "You just killed a demon. I don't have to risk my life. Why would I be mad?"

"Because you were coming to kill it!" Logan pointed out. "And I killed it before you did!"

Jess rolled his eyes. "Jeez, get over it. We're on..." He looked up blankly. "The same side... hey, Huntzburger?"

"What?"

"You really suck at killing demons."

The regenerated demon swooped down and gave Logan a rough shove out of the way before going after Jess.

"Hey there, Baby," Jess muttered, readying his sword. "Let's play."

He stalked after Jess, who was just about to slice its head off, when Logan jumped up onto the demon.

"What the hell, Huntzburger!" Jess cried.

"Kill it!" Logan yelled.

"You're in the way, you freak!"

"JESS!"

"Listen, I don't do well working with people I don't like," Jess told him. "If you were Dave, or Louise, it'd be a different story, but I just can't work like this. Either get the hell off of it or kill it yourself."

Logan snarled and hopped off the demon, rolling out of the way, just in time for Jess to slice its head off, and then slice the head in half. The body and the head burst into dust.

Jess turned a harsh glare onto the blond. "You suck."

"I woulda had it," Logan said dangerously.

"You really suck," Jess repeated. "Go home."

"Jess!"

He turned and sighed. "Hey, Dave."

"You killed it?"

Jess nodded. "No thanks to burger boy here," he snarled, pointing at Logan with his sword.

"Hi, Logan," Dave smirked. "Nice hair."

Logan glared and smoothed his short locks out. "I'm outta here."

"Good," Jess snapped. "Go cry to mommy about your ruined Armani sweater."

Logan flipped him off and then stalked out of the alley.

"That was mean," Dave commented.

"True or false?" Jess asked. "You don't go after a demon without knowing how to kill it first."

"True."

"He's such an amateur."

Dave sighed and looked around the alley. He watched as a man in black with a television camera slowly walked after Logan.

"Dude, Jess…"

Jess blinked and looked at Dave. "What?"

Dave pointed to the cameraman.

Jess squinted. "Huh."

"What do you think, man?"

"I think someone has too much time on their hands," Jess replied. "Come on. We've gotta check things out elsewhere."

Dave nodded and followed Jess, glancing back to look at the cameraman once more.

-----

"Did you see this spring's lipstick shades?" Louise asked in disgust. "They're awful."

"Well," Madeline replied, spreading red nail polish over her pinky. "That's why they release them in November. So they grow on you by like…April."

Louise sighed and sat back at her desk. The office had been quiet ever since the boys had left.

And then the door swung up with a fury only a woman scorned could possess.

Both Louise and Madeline got up as Rory Gilmore entered the office.

"Where is he?" Rory asked.

"Rory?" Madeline asked.

"Where's Jess?" Rory repeated.

"Jess, who?" Louise asked. "Jess the janitor? This is our-"

"Demon fighting office," Rory finished for her. "You fight demons, and he saved my life, and then he ran away. Again!"

The other two girls stayed silent.

"Well!"

Madeline sighed and gestured to the blue couch. "Have a seat."

Louise blinked. "What are you doing?"

"She deserves to know, doesn't she?" Madeline asked. "I mean…everything she saw…And…You know…"

Louise groaned. "Fine."

Rory began to sit on the couch.

"Don't sit there," Louise advised. "Jess bled there yesterday."

Rory's eyes popped open in horror, and she moved to sit elsewhere on the couch.

Louise sighed and sat down in her chair. "The stories told here tonight may or may not be embellished. These are the facts as told to me by a very delirious Jess Mariano."

Rory nodded.

Louise gave the tiniest hint of a grin. "It all started on a dark and stormy night…"

2 Years Prior…

Venice Beach had gotten stale quickly, but in a different way than Stars Hollow had.

But, as typical Jess Mariano luck had dictated, the moment he arrived in Los Angeles for a breather from the skaters, and his newly acquired family, it had started pouring rain. As such, his pre-planned pleasant walk had been anything but.

Also? He was lost.

Even so, he kept walking down the dim streets, until a bolt of lightening struck in a nearby alley. He jumped back, and blinked, worriedly. "What the hell was that?" he muttered.

Slowly, he walked into the alley, and couldn't believe his eyes.

Lying on the soaked, grimy pavement, were…creatures. Dead creatures…well…dead or dying. Alongside them were equally dead and dying humans.

One moved, and Jess jumped. He inched closer. "Hey…uh…this may or may not be a stupid question, but…are you…alive?"

The man was bleeding profusely, a sword was sticking out of his stomach, and some sort of multi-colored slime coated his face and spiky, brown hair. Even so, he stared up at Jess.

Jess scrambled to kneel next to the stranger. "Hey! Whoa! Hold on, I'm gonna go find a payphone and call an ambulance. Just hang in there. I'll be-"

The stranger snagged Jess's wrist to stop him. "No!"

All at once a flash of blinding light filled the alley, and Jess flew back against a wall by an unseen force. He watched for a moment as the light covered the dying stranger, along with every other body in the alley, and they disappeared.

Jess passed out a moment later.

Present Day…

Rory stared in disbelief.

Louise and Madeline both nodded.

"This is ridiculous!" Rory cried. "Where is Jess!"

"He's not here," Madeline said. "And everything Louise just said was true."

"Story's not done," Louise commented, obviously annoyed.

Rory sighed. "You mean you have more crazy lies?"

"Just sit and listen," Louise ordered. "Believe me, I know it sounds crazy, but it'll all make sense once Jess gets home."

Rory sighed and sat back against the couch.

Yet again, 2 years prior…

He had no idea what to do with himself.

Not a god-damned clue.

Jess wandered through the rainy streets, wondering where he was, what the hell had just happened, and why he felt more weight than usual load up onto his shoulders.

A memory flashed unexpectedly through his mind and he stopped walking.

Another.

And then another.

He slowly realized that these were not his memories.

There was no Luke or Liz or Rory…No Jimmy…no stupid kid who tried to steal his bike in the third grade and got a fat lip instead. No meaningless, hot New York nights. No cigarettes or alcohol, or books. Where were his books?

He saw blood. He heard screams; felt teeth and swords. People beg him for their lives, and blonde girls proclaim their undying love for him.

He became dizzy and stumbled about, until he knocked right into someone.

"Whoa, there, Cutie. Take is easy."

He looked up and blinked, as a face came into view.

A green face.

With red eyes and red horns.

"AH!" Jess cried, stumbling back again. "Who…what…are you?"

"Questions later," the…whatever-he-was said. "You're obviously in need of a dry place to cool off and a cup of coffee."

Present Day…

Rory screamed loudly, which caused Madeline to scream.

"What!" Madeline cried, as Rory got to her feet.

Rory pointed to the blue creature in the corner.

Louise got up and looked at the direction she was pointing in. "Oh. Trogdor."

"What?" Rory asked.

Louise sighed and whistled. "Trogdor!"

The blue demon hopped up onto Rory's lap and then jumped to Louise, who caught him. He started purring.

"This is Trogdor," Louise said. "Dave's pet demon."

Rory blinked.

Trogdor flew from Louise's arms to Rory's lap again and began sniffing her.

"What…is it?" Rory asked, obviously scared.

"We're not sure," Madeline shrugged. "But he's cute."

"He eats make-up," Louise pointed out.

"Not since we've gotten him eating Go-Gurt."

"He eats Go-Gurt?" Rory asked.

Louise nodded. "Package and all."

Rory blinked at Trogdor, who licked her face.

"Can we get back to the story now?" Louise asked.

"Can you get him off me?" Rory countered.

Madeline sighed and took a Go-Gurt out of the mini-Fridge. She waved it in Trogdor's line of site, and he flew from Rory to Madeline.

Back to the Past…

Jess sighed and looked around blearily. Everything was hazy, and the bright colors in the empty nightclub weren't helping the throbbing headache he'd developed.

The green man…well, whatever he was, walked out from behind the bar, a couple of mugs in his hands. "Welcome to Caritas."

Jess blinked and accepted the mug of coffee. "Caritas…Latin for Mercy."

The whatever-he was grinned. "Gold star."

Jess started at him. "Who…what are you?"

"The name's Lorne," he grinned. "And I'm a demon."

"A demon."

"Yep."

"Huh."

"This is my club," Lorne replied, waving an arm to indicate their surroundings. "It burned down a few years ago, but I had a couple of guys I worked with over the past year put it back together. I just love this place."

Jess nodded slowly. "You're a demon."

"We covered that already, Angel-cakes."

"Don't call me that," Jess deadpanned.

"Well, that's what you are," Lorne replied grimly. "You're Angel."

Jess stared. "You lost me. I think I should go home."

Lorne held up a finger. "Not until you sing me a few bars."

"What?"

"Sing."

"No."

"Go on."

"Go to hell."

"Oh, now that's not very nice," Lorne pouted. "Just a couple of lines. That's all it'll take."

"This is gonna steal my soul, isn't it?" Jess asked, obviously paranoid.

"Oh, for Pete's sake, just sing!"

Jess stared for a moment, before letting out a wobbly verse. "When they kick at your front door, how you gonna come, with your hands on your head, or on the trigger of your gun…They can crush us, they can bruise us but they'll have to answer to Ooooh, the guns of Brixton."

"Well, at least you can carry a tune a little better than he could," Lorne muttered.

"I'm leaving," Jess snapped, getting to his feet.

Lorne leaned back and grinned. "Her name was Rory Gilmore. Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, to be exact."

Jess stopped.

"Kinda tall," Lorne went on. "Long brown hair, big blue eyes. Smart, and witty. Gone to Europe for the summer, but headed to Yale in the fall."

Jess turned with a glare. "You leave her alone."

"I'm not after her, Jessie," Lorne replied.

"Then how do you know all that!"

"You sang."

"So!"

"I read you," Lorne replied. "I know where you've been; I know where you need to be."

Jess slowly sat back down. "Keep talking."

The Present…

Rory blinked. "So he talked to the demon guy, and then what?"

"He headed on a plane back to New York," Madeline shrugged.

"He met Dave first," Louise corrected. "At LAX."

"At the airport?" Rory asked, obviously confused.

Madeline giggled. "This is the funny part."

The Past…

Jess sighed and sat down at the airport bar. He'd given his father the best explanation for leaving that he could muster up. He promised to write, and call, which he did intend to do. He actually didn't mind living with Jimmy and Sasha and Lily. It was awkward, but it wasn't as hectic as living with Luke could be, which was nice.

And he was leaving again. Always on the go.

"Can I help you?" the bartender asked.

Jess sighed, wishing he were actually old enough to drink, and hoped they didn't card. "Can I just get a Killian's, please?" he asked.

The tender nodded, and walked off.

Jess closed his eyes and waited.

"Jess?"

His eyes opened again, and glanced next to him, to find himself face to face with one David Rygalski.

"Dave."

"Jess!" Dave cried. "Oh, man, Jess! What are you doing here? What's up? How are you? You're not back east?"

Jess stared at his old acquaintance. "You're so drunk."

Dave giggled. "Nooo. No! I'm not drunk! I am so not drunk. You wouldn't believe how drunk I'm not."

Jess caught him as he almost fell off his stool. "How much have you had?"

"Milk, but it worked?" Dave tried.

The bartender returned with the beer and Jess nodded. "Thanks. How much did this one have?"

"Couple of shots of vodka, and a dry martini."

Jess blinked and turned back to day. "That's all?"

Dave shrugged and smiled. "Lightweight."

Jess sighed and took a long sip of his beer. "So…what are you doing here, and why are you so drunk?"

Dave frowned. "I'm on my way back to Stars Hollow. I was here…I was here…because…for a slayer."

Jess narrowed his eyes. "A what?"

A vampire slayer."

Jess stared for a long moment before slamming his beer down on the bar. "Not you, too."

"What?"

"Vampires…green demons with weird horns and karaoke bars…what's next? Ktulu in a tutu?"

Dave giggled. "That would RULE!"

Jess sighed. "So…a vampire slayer."

"I was supposed to get her and bring her to England," Dave said. "But…But when I got here…and I found her she was dead. And THEN! And THEN! I found out that the Watcher's Council had been…Exploded! Months ago, apparently, but did anyone ever tell me! Nooooo."

"You lost me."

"The Watcher's Council is…was…" Dave sighed. "They look after Vampire Slayers."

"Explain."

Dave rolled his eyes. "In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the forces of darkness. The Vampire Slayer. Young girls, usually. Don't normally live past twenty, cause they get taken down by some big…demon of vampire…or…yeah." Dave nodded. "Every slayer has a Watcher appointed to her. I was…supposed to…you know I was supposed to take her with me to England…but…but when I got here she was dead and I tried are so drunk," Jess said.

"Boom!" Dave cried. "Big boom!"

Jess sighed and took a long sip of his beer.

Present:

"So," Louise went on, filing her nails. "Jess took pity on Dave, and got his plane ticket changed to go to New York with him. That's where the four of us met up."

Madeline nodded as she studied a paperweight interestedly. "Louise got a vision, and that's how we found them."

Rory blinked. "Vision?"

Louise looked up. "I get visions of people who need our help. That's how we were able to save you. I got a vision of you being sacrificed to that…ick-demon and we suited up and moved out."

"That's kind of creepy," Rory said.

"And it hurts like a bitch," Louise nodded. "But that's the company history."

Madeline looked up and smiled, getting to her feet. "Okay. I think I've got this."

"Got what?" Rory asked.

"I…am going to make this paperweight come alive."

Louise sighed. "If that paperweight starts vomiting again-"

Madeline stuck her tongue out at the blonde and raised a hand. "tghiewrepap-"

At that moment, the door burst open, and Dean stormed in. "Rory!"

"Dean!"

Madeline world around in surprise and a pink burst of energy shot from her fingers right at Dean.

Seconds later, Dean was no longer standing by the door. All that remained was a miniature, fluffy white poodle.

Rory stared in shock, and Louise got to her feet, just as astonished.

Madeline smiled nervously and giggled. "Uh…ahehe…Whoops?"