Black Light Princess- Oh no, bitch, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU. Glad you enjoyed the story!

Darkle- Well then you'll love the desecration of her corpse that will follow.

Alright, I considered dropping this on account of the writing being half-baked and shitty, but I got a few laughs, so I'll finish it. Without further ado, the climactic and death defying end to the first part of Some Kinda Fish Sauce, part 1…

Oh Hell, Oh Damn… part 2.

…

Bitches.

Marth had stopped making his cheese sandwich. Zelda was now a twitching corpse, cranium splattered by the mighty power of the Viking™ Rotisserie-style Oven's door. It fries, it bakes, it crushes women's heads.(1) Roy and Link had ended their extended lip-lock. For a moment, there was silence.

But, as was customary in shallow fictions like these, the door(2) burst open. Out stepped Samus and Fox. They ignored the swordsmen completely, heading for the corpse.

"Whaddya think happened, Sam?" asked Fox askingly.

"Don't know," the bounty hunter said saidfully. "Looks like blunt trauma. Probably murder."

Marth interjected. "What the hell is going on h-"

"We'll ask the questions, tiara-boi!" The Arwing pilot looked him up and down. "Where were you on the night of 5 minutes ago?"

"Um, right here?"

Samus struck the Prince of Altea with her blaster. "Don't lie, motherfucker!"

Fox stepped to his other side. "Don't worry, Marth. We know you didn't do this."

Samus grabbed a bucket of cold water(3) and threw it all over Marth's face. "Maybe you did, maybe you didn't. But I'm in the mood to fuck you up and be done with it."

"Are you trying to Good Cop, Bad Cop me!"

Fox started to answer, before his ears perked up. "EVERYBODY DOWN!" The group hit the deck, and Fox withdrew his blaster and fired three quick shots. When the dust cleared, Zelda's corpse now had three glowing holes in it. Fox coolly blew the smoke rising from the barrel.

"See that? Killer always returns to the scene of the crime."

Before anyone could react,(4) a large sword pushed through Fox's chest. The anthromorph gasped, and expired pitifully. Roy was the wielder of the sword. Samus readied her blaster. Link unsheathed his blade.

Like, fifty fucking wireframes burst through the door.

Marth dropped to his knees, breaking the tense air of the situation.

"All I wanted was a fucking cheese sandwich!"

D A R K N O T E S

They're like Sparknotes, only if anyone else makes that comparison I'll fucking kill them.

(1) DM was paid $50,000 for this advertisement. Also, if you notice a continuity error, pat yourself on the back, and then kiss my ass.

(2) Either somebody keeps closing the goddamn door or there are way too many fucking entrances to the kitchen.
(3) Varia Suit Power Up - Bigass Bucket of Water gained.
(4) I'd like to get serious here for a second. This is a common plot device used to continue the actions without breaking for boring dialogue or movements. A cameo role will be given to the user that explains another way to keep the action fresh without comic book style interruptions.

And so that's how it happened. What went on next? Screw you, why the hell do you care? Next part will probably involve Kirby, because Kirby loves food like a fat kid loves ca-

Shit, wait.