The Dating Game

Chapter 4

by. Brown Eyed Bakas

Disclaimer: Once and for all, we do not own Inuyasha.

BTW, "The Adventures of the Suicidal Bunny" is actually a book. It was really funny... but then again, so was the book about how to be a Canadian. Heheh... "Eh?" "Cold, eh?" "Real Cold, eh?" lmfao...

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"That was awesome!" Kouga exclaimed, babbling endlessly about the part where the rabbit grated its own head.

"No, it was funnier where the rabbit poured sulfur acid on itself." Kagura argued.

"Oh yeah, that part was hilarious. But you've got to admit that the grating was funny too."

Kagura gave Kouga dull look.

"No."

Kouga scowled, shaking his head. "You're hopeless."

---

"What did you say?" Kagome shot up from her seat, her popcorn spilling everywhere.

"Sit down lady!" Someone in the back yelled.

"I didn't say anything!" Inuyasha protested.

"Then who said 'I love you'?" Kagome demanded.

"Well, why would you think that I would say that to you?" Inuyasha defended himself nervously. Oops, did I say that out loud?

"Oh, right. Why would yousay that to me?" Kagome jabbed her finger at Inuyasha's chest.

"What do you mean why would I say that?" A vein popped on Inuyasha's forehead.

"Uh, excuse me." The man in front of them stammered.

"What?" The two turned to glare at the man.

"Umm, that 'I love you' that you heard? It was kinda meant for her." Said the man, pointing at the girl at his right.

"Really?" The girl beamed. "I love you too!"

"Oh, Sarah!"

"Oh, Jonathan!"

"Oh, Sarah!"

"Oh, Jon –"

"JUST KISS ALREADY!" Someone shouted impatiently from the back.

And so they kissed, just as the main characters in the movie did, behind them, on the big screen.

"Awww!" Everyone cooed, ignoring the movie completely.

Soon enough, everyone in the theater started to kiss.

Except Inuyasha and Kagome.

"Umm," Inuyasha stammered, "Should we be umm, kissing too?" He asked hopefully, twirling his thumb.

Kagome gave him an evil glare.

"We're going." She ordered coldly, while trying to get past a smooching couple. "Excuse me!" The couple ignored her completely.

Kagome shoved them aside and stormed out of the theater.

Inuyasha sighed wistfully, looking at the kissing couple, and followed her.

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"You know that I'm not attracted to you." Kagura stated on the drive home, while the car was lacking a bumper, exhaustion pipe, some screws and mice.

"Yep, I know." Kouga answered carelessly.

There was a period of silence.

"But I still think that the grating scene was better." Kouga smirked.

"Are you still on that?"

"…we're not on that anymore?"

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Next Day

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"Here Inuyasha, you can have my grapefruit – AYAME! – What are you doing? Stop sniffing me!"

"You smell like Dior! Kouga-kun! What did you do with Kagura last night?" Ayame asked shrilly, eyes filled with tears.

Kouga froze. Actually, the whole room froze.

"That might be a problem." Kagura sipped her coffee coolly. "I don't use Dior."

"Kouga, you still use Dior pour Femme after you shower?" Inuyasha asked disbelievingly.

"But it smells good!" Kouga mumbled to himself.

"You use perfume after you shower?" Miroku shook his head. "What, you have a home spa too?"

Shit… how did he find out?

"Well, Kouga," Miroku examined Kouga carefully. "Judging from the state of your nails, and the softness of your hair, you must have one of those home spas, complete with a waterfall shower and a rose-bath hot-tub."

"N-no I don't!" Kouga spluttered.

"Uh, Kouga," Sango picked out a rose petal from Kouga's hair. "How do you explain this?"

"…" Kouga's eyebrow twitched. "Guess what happened last night on our date! Oh, it was so much fun. We nearly killed a guy and he, with my 200-dollar bumper, flew five blocks up!"

"Oh, so that explains the guy and the bumper…" Inuyasha pondered – a rare sight.

"Don't change the subject." Ayame jabbed Kouga. "Now. Why would you have a home spa, complete with a waterfall shower, a rose-bath hot-tub, and a manicurist, without ever telling me!"

"Well, you see…" Kouga tried to explain.

"You invite whores over, don't you? Oh, Kouga, why?" Ayame sobbed.

Kouga nearly fell to the ground. "Now, why would I treat a whore, to my expensive 5,000 dollar spa?"

"HAH!" Inuyasha pointed. "So you do have a home spa!"

"Oh, I see." Miroku tapped his chin. "That's why he was so popular in high-school. It was the attraction of the 'feminine side'."

"Kouga has a feminine side," Inuyasha said in a sing-song voice.

Suddenly, a dull thud interrupted Inuyasha's singing. He froze and fell to the ground, a large bump on his head. Beside him was Kouga, holding his coffee mug.

"Oh, I knew those mugs would be a problem…" Kagome shook her head. "Do that one more time, Kouga, and you'll be using the over-used, crummy paper cups!"

Everyone gasped. "Oh, not the paper cups!"

"Yes, the paper cups." Kagome said firmly. "Now, no more mug bashing."

"Wow, your hair is soft." Kagura poked at Kouga's hair. She narrowed her eyes and soon enough, her face was inches away from Kouga's, a fiery look on her face. "What's your secret?"

"Uh," Kouga stammered.

"I wonder if I can find hair softer than yours…" Kagura looked around, and spotted Sesshoumaru, trying to exit the shop quietly. "Oh, Sesshoumaru!"

Sesshoumaru spotted the evil glint in her eyes. He gathered up his hair and tried, once again, to exit the shop.

An idea hit Kouga. He's my ticket out of this! "Not so fast, Sesshoumaru."

Grabbing him by his shoulders, Kouga lead Sesshoumaru to right in front of Kagura. "Softer hair? I should think."

"Oooh, it's so soft…" Kagura gasped, running her fingers through it. "It's like silk…"

Kagome and Sango gathered. "Wow, it's so healthy!"

"He probably has many split ends." Inuyasha retorted.

"Ah! Sugoi! No split ends!" Ayame gasped.

A nervous drop of sweat formed on Sesshoumaru's forehead.

"Is this real?" Kagura gave his hair a tug. Sesshoumaru's head was jerked back violently.

Inuyasha, Miroku and Kouga froze. "Uh… Oh…"

"Guess it's real…" Kouga looked at Miroku fearfully.

"Yeah," Miroku turned to Inuyasha.

Inuyasha eyed the exit.

Sesshoumaru slowly turned to Kagura, his eyes glowing murderously.

Kagura raised her eyebrow gracefully. "What are you trying to accomplish."

Inuyasha, Miroku and Kouga gasped. "She talked back to him!"

"Oh boy…"

Kagome, Ayame and Sango sensed the problem. They slowly inched away.

"Goodbye mugs," Kouga closed his eyes and faced upwards, as if praying.

Sesshoumaru raised his hands, grabbed Kagura by her shoulders, and pinned her down to the love seat. There was a deadly glint in his eyes, and a low growl rose from his throat.

Kagura's eyes widened. Her heart fluttered with fear. Sesshoumaru inched closer, until their faces were inches apart, as he bared his unnaturally pointy teeth…

"GAAH!"

The spell was broken. Everyone turned to look at Inuyasha. In his hands was a grapefruit peel, and tears were streaming down one of his eyes.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome swooped down, her eyes filled with concern. "What happened? Why do you have a grapefruit peel in your hands?"

Inuyasha shrunk into a little boy, his eyes bursting with innocent tears. "Kouga gave it to me!" He pointed at Kouga.

Kouga gulped. (Cue the thought-bubble.)

"Here, Inuyasha, you can have my grapefruits – AYAME! – What are you doing?..."

"It's not my fault!" Kouga raised his hand in defense. "Inuyasha squirted himself in the eye with the grapefruit peel!" (And here we go, the bubble again.)

'Hey, I wonder what this does…' Inuyasha thought, examining the peel. 'I think I'll squeeze it dangerously close to my eyes…'

Kagome raised her eyebrow at Kouga. "So you're telling me that Inuyasha purposely squirted grapefruit oil from the peel into his eyes."

"YES!" Kouga exclaimed.

"Even he's not that stupid, Kouga." Sango nodded.

Inuyasha gulped nervously. "Yes, not that stupid."

An awkward silence filled the room.

Kagura coughed. "Uh, Sesshoumaru, as much as I enjoy your presence, mind getting off of me?"

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Author's Note:

The italics after Inuyasha yelled were flashbacks. SilverWolf-Ryuki personally feels it's awkward to put 'flashback' and 'end of flashback' in chapters that flow so gracefully, so excuse the minor confusion. And the 'cue the thought-bubble' also gives it away, but those were added on during edit. We also don't know if Dior makes perfume or not, but we couldn't spell Chanel without it looking like Channel. It's slightly awkward for a writer to write that… but it really doesn't matter.

A bit of… love/hate-ish fluff. Of course, you must all know that it's not a Kouga/Kagura. In fact, we hate the pairing. We think it is bull how people pair them together, just because Kagura killed Kouga's whole gang, and such. Love/Hate is great, but that's just going much too far.

The grapefruit incident… well, while writing this chapter, Dark Lavender did squirt orange peel oil into her eyes, while we were fighting over whether Sesshoumaru should pin Kagura or not. Because of Dark Lavender's minor injury, and while Dark Lavender rinsed her eye out, SilverWolf-Ryuki proudly says that she won by default, and that's why there's the minor fluff. (Dark Lavender: Thanks…)

Anyways. This was a longer chapter than we planned – be grateful, people! But then again, we could be contradicting ourselves, seeing that Word's word counter is messed.

R + R!