The universe had a loving embrace that everyone needed to feel at least once in their life.
Really. Shimazaki had been man of many problems, well he was still a man of many problems, but before he'd first felt the loving embrace of the universe he'd been a man of even more problems than he had now. He'd been weirdly pissed off all the time…and sort of lonely even when he'd been surrounded by people, and other such bad feelings that he never felt anymore. He'd been younger then, a lot younger, and he'd been filled with this sort of sense that he just…was not supposed to be there. That his existence was a mistake…of course that had just been his dad's voice ringing in his brain….and he had managed to drown that out…
With the loving embrace of the universe.
That was what MDMA was for…well it had been Molly back then and he wasn't entirely sure what the difference was…but it was essentially the same thing. It was a thing that was good for taking you out of your own head and showing you how warm and loving and perfect the universe was. Well it did that by ruining your ability to regulate your body temperature and also by taking your brain's whole cache of feel good chemicals and dumping them all at once….but it was still good. While you were high on it, and high was the closest thing that he had for it, you felt good. The world felt good. All the people in it felt good. You were as close to heaven as you could get. It was like the universe was giving you a hug and you were hugging it back and it was just…the most perfect thing ever…
But all good things came to an end.
Coming down from that high…it was the worst. You felt, well Shimazaki always felt, like he was just…nothing. That he was nothing and nobody and he shouldn't have even been there and….and other such thoughts that he liked to leave behind. Well there was a cure for that…more drugs! You could always cure one thing with another thing. You could cure insomnia with coffee and you could cure a jellyfish sting with piss and you could cure the deep existential depression that you got after your brain dumped all of it's feel good chemicals with drugs!
Specifically weed and Xanax.
"Ok kid, time to sit up. Let me fix you up real good and then we can do something fun today. We can dig up some more worms and leave them in Hatori's bed or we can go to the dog park or we can go to the department store and put on hats and then pretend that we're mannequins or we can see what will and will not blend or-" said Shimazaki as he sat the kid up. He had been awake for some time now. He had passed out, briefly, once it all got out of his system. Shimazaki maybe should have given him a Xanax then to help him sleep but the kid…well the kid had been drifting off and Shimazaki hadn't felt like telling any more stories…
Because he'd run out.
The kid had heard every single interesting story that he'd had to tell. Everything. Towards the end he had just been making shit up. Every single time he was done the kid said 'Ryou, tell me a story' given name and all…and Shibata wasn't the only one who couldn't say no to kids…and honestly Shimazaki would have gladly spent the rest of his life telling stories if it meant that the kid stopped with the declarations of love…the constant and never ending declarations of love…
Honestly, nobody needed that.
"Leave me alone, Shimazaki, leave me alone to die." Said Sho. He didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. He just wanted to lay there and wait for tomorrow to happen. He had said….so much stuff. He couldn't remember, all the way, what had happened but he could remember that he had told Shimazaki how he felt, again, and now all he wanted to do was just lay there until he went to sleep again and then…well he didn't know what would happen next.
He would wake up.
He would wake up and then he would do it all again. Everything. Every single day of his life was just like the one before it. He would get up, big sis would make him breakfast, he would spend the day having fun with Shimazaki, and then he would go home and have dinner and take a bath and go to sleep and then he would do it all again and again and again. Just like he had done the day before that and the day before that and the day before that. Each day was just like the day before. He would sit there and just be…this person. This person who he was.
Everything about him was wrong.
Big sis had been born right and he had been born wrong. She had been born with her powers, he had gotten his later. She was in love with someone who it was ok for her to love, he was a fraidy cat but he was also a boy and an esper. Sho was in love with a boy who was an esper too and she was in love with who she was supposed to be in love with. Sho was in love with…he was in love with Shimazaki. He was…he was not the person who Sho was supposed to be in love with. Not only was he failing pretty much the only thing that he was alive in the world to do, marry and girl and make more Suzukis, but also he was a trust breaker. There was a girl who was in love with him and he was breaking her trust every single day because he just couldn't stop having cheating thoughts…and there was nothing worse than a trust breaker….Fukuda had been a trust breaker and now he was gone…well he hadn't left but….but Sho wasn't talking to him anymore and….and he probably wouldn't have wanted to talk to Sho either….
Since he sucked. He sucked as a person. He sucked the worst out of anyone else in the whole world.
"Nope. No dying today, kid, you can die after I die. How's that sound?" asked Shimazaki. That kid….that kid had better have been just being dramatic because…yeah. He didn't know what he was supposed to do if the kid legitimately wanted to die. Hide the sharp objects? Tether the two of them together so Shimazaki could stop him from doing anything stupid? Hide all of his pills and shit….
Well maybe he should hide that shit anyway since, well, that was how he had gotten into this mess in the first place.
"I don't know…don't die. I just….I don't know. I feel really…." Said Sho
"You feel like you'll never be happy again? That someone reached into your brain and stole all of your happy thoughts? That you want to go to sleep for the next hundred years? That maybe if you sleep for long enough then you might feel better…or even worse…but at least you'll feel something?" asked Shimazaki
"Yeah….kind of…but how did you know?" asked Sho
"Because I've been there before, kid. This is just how you feel after you come down and if you had asked me if you could have some of my MDMA I could have warned you about this. Seriously. Ask me next time. If you want to do something then just ask me and we'll do it together because, yeah, it brings me no joy to see you in this hole…and also it's easier to get out of that hole if you have someone in it with you and, since you took that shit without even warning me, I had to be there to babysit you. I'm your friend and if you ever need a sitter, a molly sitter or a trip sitter or even a pet sitter then, yeah, I'll help you…but you have to warn a guy first….and ask. Always ask." Said Shimazaki
"I know…I know that you told me not to go into your desk drawers…" said Sho
"And now do you know why?" asked Shimazaki
"Because you'll get mad at me." Said Sho. He knew that Shimazaki had been mad at him last night…and he never wanted to have to go through that again. Shimazaki was his best friend and…and he just…the thought of Shimazaki being mad at him made him feel like…like he would never be happy again…sort of like how he had been feeling before…and now he just had more bad feelings inside of himself. It was like it was just bad feelings on top of bad feelings…bad feelings all the way down….and he just wanted…he just wanted to feel better already….
"No, because the shit I have in there is really fucking dangerous. Listen, I love you like I'd love my own kid and the thought of you dying because of me…shit's hard. Ok? You could have gotten really hurt and, yeah, I guess that it's kind of on me for not explaining shit…but I can make sure this never happens again. Yeah…that's the responsible thing to do….so get your ass up so I can be a responsible adult for once in my life." Said Shimazaki. He didn't wait for Sho to answer. He just picked him up and sat him down in the desk chair. He didn't hear that little aural giggle he did whenever Shimazaki picked him up….and that was not a good sign. It might have just been normal post MDMA depression or it might have been…well he knew that people could break their brains on this shit….and the kid was little. The kid was so little and he was still growing and Shimazaki knew that you weren't supposed to give kids coffee because it would stunt their growth but….well that one might have been a myth….
But there was a reason that Shimazaki had told the kid to stay the hell out of his desk drawers.
This shit was dangerous. Shimazaki knew, mostly, what he was doing and if he messed up then the only one he was hurting was himself. The kid on the other hand was just, well, a kid. He was a powerful esper but he was still just a kid and he could have ended up really messing himself up like that…and Shimazaki…well weed was harmless and drinking was mostly harmless but a lot of the other stuff that he got up to was anything but harmless and…
And he may have been up this whole time listening to the kid breathing to make sure that he was still, well, breathing.
He wasn't going to let this happen again. He should have known that putting a blanket ban on his desk was just…not the best move when it came to Sho. He didn't do well with rules and he was a little magpie at the best of times, really he got into everything, and he had the excuse of being a kid…maybe he should put child locks on his drawers….well this was never happening again. He was going to go over literally everything in his drawers and then if Sho wanted to try something then Shimazaki could dose it for him and then he would be there to babysit him and then they could make sure that nothing like this ever happened to them again. Ever.
This was the responsible thig to do.
"Are you still mad at me?" asked Sho as Shimazaki sat him down in the chair. He just…he felt….he didn't know how he felt besides bad. Bad and a whole lot of….cold? Sort of like he was full of cold water…sort of like when he had laid down in the snow in his pajamas that one time…he was just…it was like his insides were trying to fall asleep. It was like the goldfish in his stomach, the one that was always swimming when Shimazaki was near, was in a frozen lake….like his stomach was frozen….but that should have been a good thing. The goldfish in his stomach should not have been swimming when he had been near Shimazaki. It should have been swimming when he was near Emmy….or any other girl….and he knew from the books that the way he felt was ok…but he also knew that he was Suzuki Sho and the only reason that dad had ever made him was because he had needed a son so that his grandkids could be called Suzuki too….
And Sho…well he was bad at liking girls and bad a being Sho and just bad at…at everything…and he would not have blamed Shimazaki for still being mad at him….considering how bad of a friend he had been…
"No, not at all. You know this whole thing is kind of my fault….take that Toshi I am too capable of introspection…..and I figure that if I tell you about all of the shit I have then you'll know not to touch it…and also none of it is candy. Well I have sugar cubes in here but those are for dosing acid." Said Shimazaki
"Acid?" asked Sho. He could have ended up eating acid and then burning himself and then he would have had to go and see Fukuda…and that would have been better than staying up all night hugging Shimazaki and telling him over and over again how much he loved him….anything would have been better than that.
"Yup….this…well I'll show it to you if I can ever find it…never move stuff around in here, by the way, there's a limit to what I can sense….got it. Here. This little vial is full of acid. It's powerful. It can't kill you but it can break your brain. It makes you see shit and hear shit and walk down memory lane…and also it fucks with your ability to regulate your body temperature so drink plenty of water." Said Shimazaki
"…why do you do that, then, if it makes you see things and hear things…and remember things? What's the point? I don't get it…I don't get anything." Said Sho. He didn't get it. He didn't get it but….but he was happy that Shimazaki was talking to him. He was happy that Shimazaki still wanted to talk to him…and he should not have been happy about that. He should have been thinking about Emmy…he was the worst. He was like dad. Dad said that he loved mom but he never talked about her or thought about her and he didn't even care about her anymore. Sho…why did he have to be…the person who he was? He just…he felt like…he felt like….
He felt like he was just a collection of mistakes in the shape of a person…and it made him feel…cold…on the inside.
"Because sometimes those things that I hear and feel, not see but I do get the feeling like something is in my range but it isn't, are pretty damn good. As long as I stay off of memory lane, the bad parts of it, then I feel like I'm…well I feel like you did the other day. I feel like I'm being held by the entire universe and the world is nothing but love and understand and I feel just….good. At peace with everything. Yeah…acid is like MDMA but with hallucinations and…and also never take this without me. Ok? If you want to trip than only do that with me." Said Shimazaki. He omitted what he and Mob had gotten up to. Toshi was wrong, he did have tact, and he had enough of it at least not to make the kid feel like crap. His eyes must have been green since he was so jealous all the time.
"…I don't know…." Said Sho. He wanted to feel good again. Not even good like he had felt last night, he had been so happy last night he didn't think that he could ever feel that happy again, but he just…wanted to feel…warm…again. He brought his knees up to his chest. The chair tried to roll away. Shimazaki caught him. He was a good friend like that, always there for Sho and stuff, and Sho wished that he could have been a better friend to him. Friends did not have kissing thoughts about friends. Friends didn't fall in love with friends. Friends…he wished that he knew how to be a better friend…..
"Not now, obviously, you're coming down from the Molly…and never mix Molly and acid. It won't be a good time, trust me, I know. You can drink and do Molly, Molly is another word for MDMA but I think that there are some slight differences but I'm not a chemist, anyway Molly and drinking are good and Molly and weed are good but Molly and acid are bad. Ok?" asked Shimazaki
"….ok." said Sho. He was never eating anything that he found in Shimazaki's desk ever again. Not if it all left him feeling like this…and he didn't want to risk it. He felt like….he didn't even know. Cold. So cold. He wanted….he didn't even know what he wanted.
"Good. Man, this is going better than I thought it would…anyway here. These are the ones you took…and only take one of these at a time and always with me. These are good for parties and clubs and let me tell you fucking on this shit is…well no, I actually don't think that I should tell you that last part….because you're ten….anyway take one at a time and never without me and a close source of water because you will get dehydrated." Said Shimazaki. He was…well he was doing his best. The kid was learning some very important life lessons. Yeah, he knew how to be responsible. He knew what he was doing.
"Ok." Said Sho
"Also, as you know, it leaves you feeling like crap…but that's ok. See the thing is we can fix this with more drugs. See? This is why you do this shit with me. Always have a Sherpa. Well I'm not an actual Sherpa, obviously, since those are the guys who help people not die on Everest, but I am going to be the guy who's going to guide you through this so you don't accidentally kill yourself…and yeah, you could die if you take too much Molly or…well….hang on." Said Shimazaki as he dug around his desk drawers. He was a dam good Sherpa. When he had been a kid there hadn't been anyone to tell him to slow down, that he was courting death everything he mixed up a handful of…whatever, and Sho should have been happy that he had someone to guide him through all of this.
Well he would be happy later once he was capable of being happy again.
"What's all of that?" asked Sho. He wondered if that was that stuff that Shimazaki had been talking about, the stuff that would make him feel better, because he wanted to feel better…even though him feeling better wouldn't have changed anything at all. The outcome would have still been the same. He would still be Suzuki Sho, he would still have been bad at being Suzuki Sho, and he would still have been a mistake….he felt like a mistake….
The only reason that he was even alive was because dad had needed someone to…to be everything that Sho was not….everything that Sho would never be.
"These ones here are all research chemicals that Kai, the tattoo guy, thinks I'd like. He's got everything, by the way, so if you're ever in Tokyo and you're looking to buy…well when you get older. When I can trust you to dose yourself without, you know, accidentally killing yourself you should look him up. Anyway don't ever fucking touch these for any fucking reason, you understand that you little mother fucker?" asked Shimazaki. Come on kid, smile, at least a little. You love to curse and fuck, and it's many conjugations, are your favorite. Come on, don't be like this for the rest of your life. You know how boring sad people are and you know how I hate to be bored….and you know how much I care about you and shit….
Come on already.
"I know….I won't touch anything in your desk ever again." said Sho. He knew that he should have cursed back. He knew that curing back…that would have been normal for him…that was how they had fun and stuff….but he just…he didn't have the energy. He just…he wanted to lay back down…or take the stuff that would make him feel better…or something. Anything…even though him feeling better would not do anything at all to change the outcome.
"Come on, don't be like that. Ask me about anything other than the research chemical, seriously never touch those if you value your life, and we can have fun together, ok? Like….here. This is fun. This is coke and it's fun…and it might be enough to bring you out of….but then you'll be all coked up….actually we'll do coke later, ok?" asked Shimazaki. As much fun as it would have been, doing lines of coke…well he got lines. The kid got bumps because he was still little…well maybe he could hand a line…no. He could have lines when he proved that he could be responsible with bumps. There. That was good almost parenting. He'd get a line and the kid would get a bump, a key bump, and….well….but as much fun as it would have been to do coke and then run around Tokyo like a couple of coked up morons….now was maybe not the time. The kid was too down and his headspace was probably bad too….
Damn. The kid could have really liked coke…next time. Once he felt better.
"….I want I coke…" said Sho. He wanted a soda. He had never gotten his reward soda last night…because he hadn't taken a bath last night…and all they had at the house was value brand cola and Pepsi…and neither of those was coke….and he really wanted a coke…because he liked coke.
"Ask and you shall receive." Said Shimazaki before he teleported away. He didn't bother with shoes, he wouldn't be going far, just to this distribution center he took things from sometimes. He grabbed the first rectangle he felt, this was where they kept the soda so he had a good chance of finding coke, and teleported back with it.
The kid had better like this…and he had better start to feel better…because he was making him feel like absolute crap.
"This is carbonated lemonade." Said Sho as Shimazaki came back from some place with a twelve pack of something that wasn't coke…but Sho wasn't mad. Shimazaki was blind and they didn't put braille on the outside of boxes. That wasn't fair. When Sho ruled the world he was going to make a rule that everything had to have braille on it. Maybe doing something nice like that could make up for the fact that he was in love with Shimazaki and wanted to hold his hand and kiss him…and for Shimazaki to tell him that he was cool again…that had been so good…
The memory of it, the way Shimazaki told him that he was cool, didn't wake up the goldfish in his stomach…or anything. He still just wanted to…to put his head down for a little bit….or longer…
"Damn it…hang on. I'll be back." Said Shimazaki. He went back, grabbed another rectangle, and stacked it on top of the first one….and then he repeated that action four more times. It would have gone faster if he had brought the kid with but that would have involved moving the kid and, well, Shimazaki knew first hand that the kid would not be wanting to move any time soon. Well that was ok. He would be feeling like this for a while, this was normal, and Shimazaki could deal with this. He could deal with whatever the kid threw at him…and honestly if it was a choice between this and the unrequited love he would take this any day of the week.
Though it was getting to be kind of a lot….the kid being sad….but that was fine. He could fix this. He knew what he was doing.
"The one on top is vanilla coke…but I'll take it." Said Sho. Shimazaki handed him a can of coke…and he hated vanilla coke….but he hated being thirsty more. Was this all that he was going to be able to feel from now on? Bad feelings? Maybe he deserved it for all the times he had hit his sister and for all the times that he'd had cheating thoughts about his best friend…and all the times he had wanted to cheat on his girlfriend with his best friend…and also just…he was a bad person, maybe, and just….he sucked. He sucked so much…and he had no idea how to stop sucking….
So he just drank his coke.
"Good, good, bring up your blood sugar. We skipped dinner last night…and Shibata made mackerel and potato stew and rice and salad…and you never know how much you miss the taste of home until you've been away from it for months…anyway whatever. Drink your coke and we'll eat in a minute." Said Shimazaki. He helped himself to one of the cans because, hey, he had been the one to steal them so that entitled him to at least one…and he regretted that sip. Disgusting. Room temperature vanilla coke was a crime.
And if the kid wasn't complaining about it then….yeah. Of course something was wrong.
He wouldn't just bounce back because he was a kid. He needed someone to help him through all of this. Something to help him through all of this…and Toshi was going to kill him when they found out. That was a definite 'when' and not an 'if'. Toshi always found out. The kid would tell his sister and then she would tell Toshi and then Toshi would be pissed at him…even though he was being responsible….but he would worry about all of that later…or never. He hated worrying, it was boring, and he didn't do boring.
All bad feelings, all negative emotions, were boring and he didn't want to have to deal with being bored. He had dealt with enough of that in his lifetime.
"….I'm not hungry." Said Sho. He didn't want to eat anything, he just wanted to go to sleep, that was all. He just wanted to go back to his bed and go to sleep. Not the one in the house he was staying at now, no, he wanted…he wanted to go back to his room. His actual room in his actual house. He wanted to go back to the Castle…but he could never go back and….and he didn't want to go back to the bed that he had now. Even if the Zootopia bedding was the same he didn't want to go and sleep in that bed…he wanted….he wanted to go back to Shimazaki's bed…
It was warm and soft and far away from his family…from his dad…..because he knew that if he were to go and see dad right now he would just…be very upset…and he didn't want to get in trouble for being upset.
"You will be in a second. Just….ok. You see these rectangles? These…well they're for fun and they're medicine. Toshi takes them to sleep and for anxiety…but don't tell Toshi that I told you about that. Anyway they're good for when you just need to reset your head…and I can tell that you're in a pretty bad headspace right now. Well I can help. Eat one of these…I think one is enough….well I take four at a time but I'm me…oh! Never take more than four a week or you'll start to have seizures. Anyway here, take this and…hang on I thought that I had….hang on." Said Shimazaki. He put a Xanax down in front of the kid, one should have been enough, and then he started digging through his drawers. He knew that he had, somewhere in this mess, he had some gummies. He'd picked them up back on their last stop of their never ending world tour, it was hard to get good shit like that in Japan so he'd stocked up, but the kid had moved everything around and…
And now he remembered where he'd hidden those.
He'd had actual foresight, and yes he was capable of foresight, to hide these in his coat pockets. These he knew the kid would mistake for candy, since they were candy, and he'd eat them. Well maybe someone should have told him that MDMA looked like candy too….they felt just like pills…but whatever. What was done was done. Now he just had to give the kid both of…well not both because that might have been too much….yeah. Both would have been too much.
He wanted to help the kid…not make his life any harder than it had to be.
"Stay out of my coat pockets, too, ok? These may look like candy but they aren't. These are pretty much the same stuff we smoke but in gummy form. Now eat this and take that Xanax and then you'll feel better…eventually. Maybe I should give you some beer too…no. Death combination….but beer is barely…nope. Not doing that to you. Just….take those and….and then lay down and…yeah…." Said Shimazaki. That was how he came back from this…well all of that and Toshi cuddles….but the kid would not have liked Toshi cuddle since he considered Toshi to be his mortal enemy…but he could hold the kid. Yeah. To make him feel better…
Because sad people were the most boring people in the world and the kid being sad was starting to infect him with sadness…and he did not want to waste any more of his life being a boring sad person.
"Ok…if it'll make me feel better….can I lay down now, too? Or do you have more stuff to show me?" asked Sho. He was tired….he had just gotten up and he was tired…and he just wanted to lay down and just…wait for tomorrow to happen…even though tomorrow would be just like today and today was just the same as yesterday and everything was always the same and it always sucked….
Or maybe he was the one who always sucked.
He didn't know. He just ate the stuff on the desk, the pill was bitter, and washed it down with the coke. He didn't see how a gummy bear and another bitter pill was supposed to make him feel better, bitter pills were what had made him feel bad in the first place, but he trusted Shimazaki. He trusted that Shimazaki cared about him and wanted him to be happy….
Even though Sho had told him over and over again that he was in love with him….and that was not what friends did…..not what they did at all…
"Lay down and….hang on. You're going to be hungry soon….hungrier than you've ever been in your life. I mean you always get hungry when you're stoned, I've never seen anyone eat that many poptarts in one sitting before….but then again I've never SEEN anything…you used to think I was funny. Anyway edibles make you hungry…well all weed does…and so does Xanax so you just sit tight and I'll find us some food." Said Shimazaki. There. He knew what he was doing. The kid needed food, comfort, something to ride out the complete depletion of all of his brain's feel good chemicals, and someone near him who cared about him. Shimazaki could do all of that. He was good at this. He knew how to take care of a kid. He could totally take care of a kid…and Toshi was wrong…about him not being able to take care of a kid. He took good care of the kid.
He took very good care of Sho.
Even if he could have died yesterday….well Shimazaki would have obviously taken him to the healer if his heartbeat had started to waver even in the slightest. He knew that Suzuki would have beaten the shit out of him but, yeah, he didn't want the kid dead….and he had kept him alive and he was still keeping him alive. He had brought him soda and now he was teleporting over to this pizza place he knew with broken security cameras and inattentive staff.
Hopefully the kid liked one of the three pizzas he managed to take off of the counter while nobody was around.
It seemed like he did…well he tore into the top pizza with both hands….and Shimazaki got the feeling that he would have to wash his bedding again soon…but that was ok. The kid was on his way to feeling better and that was the only thing that mattered. He had felt the loving embrace of the universe, had been pulled from it, and that was a lot….but he was on the mend. He was and…and if he wasn't well…well it was a big drawer and something would have to work. He had to have some combination of chemicals that would make the kid all better….
Or maybe all he needed was a hug.
The kid had worked his way over to where Shimazaki was sitting and was leaning against him. He had a slice of pizza hanging from his mouth like a dog, and he actually growled when Shimazaki tried to take it away, so maybe that was progress. He didn't know. All he knew was that his room smelled like cheese and marinara, the kid was getting grease all over his good pants, and he needed sleep more than the kid did considering the fact that he had NOT spent the night in the universe's loving embrace. He had spent the night with the kid in his embrace…
And it seemed like he would end up spending the day like that too.
He put an arm around the kid as he ate like a little savage. He could be there for the kid. That was something that he could do and something that he would do. He would have done this for his own son, if he and Toshi had one, and he would do this for the kid. The kid was like a son to him and…and he had no idea what he would have done if he had lost him….and he needs to stop thinking about this. Worry is such a boring emotion. Regret is such a boing emotion. He doesn't have time for these things. He doesn't have time to sit there and think about how close he had come to losing Sho…because he hadn't lost Sho and worrying about losing him….well that would do him no good at all. Sho was there and he was ok and he was eating pizza and…
And Shimazaki held him closer.
He was eating like some kind of feral ghoul, he had slices of pizza in both hands and he wasn't even bothering to take them apart like normal, but that was good. At least, unlike an actual ghoul, he was alive. He was alive and…and Shimazaki had no reason to worry. So he wouldn't. Next time things would be better. Next time he would only give the kid half a dose…and there's be plenty of water around…and he'd walk the kid through everything that he was feeling…and then when they came down and felt like crap they'd at least feel like crap together….once they came down from the universe's loving embrace…
Yeah, it was always better to come down with someone else. The universe's loving embrace was one thing but having another person there…well that was a whole other thing entirely.