The only thing Hatori learned today was that he was bad at math.
Not only was he not retaining a single thing that he had been taught but, also, he thought that he had maybe lost some math that he had already known. His times tables weren't coming to him anymore…and neither was adding…or subtracting…or counting. Maybe learning this many new things had pushed all of the old things out. Maybe he would end up having to sit at this table with Suzuki for the rest of his life relearning how to count and add and subtract and also what that check mark symbol meant….or something….
Or maybe he was just bunt out because they had been doing math for twelve hours.
"…so if you take a tetrahedron, consisting of four triangles, six edges and four vertices, you can turn it into a sphere because a sphere also has four triangles, six edges and four vertices and therefore we can…give me a piece of paper. Let me draw it for you." Said Suzuki. He held out his hand. It took Hatori a moment to find him a piece of paper. These were Son's. He wouldn't mind and if he did then Daughter could fix it. This was paper and paper was meant to be written on and he had to write this down for Hatori because he was having a lot of trouble visualizing this, it seemed.
Really, how hard was it to picture a tetrahedron and then round the sides out until it became a sphere?
Well, apparently, very hard. Hatori hadn't gone to school past his third year of middle school after all and Suzuki had gone as far into math as he could in university. It had been easy, and fun, going through all the math courses that university'd had to offer. It was still easy and fun. He so wished that his children had taken after him…or at least Son since Son was his only bod child…but he had heard Son carrying on about practicing his multiplication tables. He knew that Son would never have sat though this and Daughter…well she needed a calculator to add four columns….and he got the feeling that she would not have enjoyed this and he so hated it when she wasn't enjoying herself.
Besides, this was what he had Hatori for.
"So…that's a tetrahedron?" asked Hatori. He had never seen that shape before…or maybe he had and now he just couldn't remember shapes anymore. Shapes…those had been something that he had enjoyed learning about when he had been little….mom and dad had been so happy when he had been little and he had known what a hexagon was…but then geometry had happened and he had hated shapes with a passion….
And now, apparently, there was something with shapes that went even beyond geometry.
"Yes. This is a tetrahedron and then, if we express it as this, V – E + F = 2, we can turn this into a sphere. See? Well….believe that I've drawn a sphere. I hate the z axis. I wish my Son were here, he knows how to draw on the z axis. He's a very good artist." Said Suzuki. If Son had been home he would have asked Daughter to wake him up. He was a very good artist and…yes. There was some artistry to this. Actually making a visual representation of what these numbers meant. Well he could tell, just by looking, what this was supposed to be…and it was not what he had drawn. If only Son knew how to do this. Then maybe Hatori would have understood what it was that they were working on.
"Why don't you? I mean teach your son how to do this….I mean aside from the fact that he's ten and probably wouldn't get it." Said Hatori. Wow. Suzuki had never once said anything nice about Sho in the whole time they had been friends. Maybe he was getting better…or something. Or maybe this was just…how he was. He had been weirdly….open…today. Even more then when they played games together. He was still as flat as ever but his aura gave him away. He was happy. He felt happy. Maybe this was just how he was when nobody was around…or something. Hatori didn't know.
He just knew that this was weird…but his life was weird so this was just par for the course…or whatever.
"Son is tiresome at the best of times. No matter how old he was, even if he were your age, I know that he would not enjoy this…and Son is always insufferable when he has to do something that he does not enjoy. You enjoy this, though, so that's enough for me…though I do wish that one of us knew how to draw." Said Suzuki. Where did Son get his artistic talent from? He knew that he was incapable to drawing anything beyond simple geometric shapes….on the x and y axis. The z axis eluded him. Even cubes were difficult. Well that didn't matter. He knew what he was going for.
And soon so would Hatori.
It was amazing that he had sat through all of this. He used to do this with Fukuda when they had been younger. He hadn't enjoyed it. Not even in university when it really got interesting. Hatori was interested. He had no idea what was going, it seemed, but he was at least still interested. He so wished that Daughter would have shown some interest but she was like Masami in that way. Masami had watched him do this, he used to do this for fun back before Son had been born, and all she had been able to do was tell him to have fun with that and then she watched television. Daughter…well she didn't like math either…
For some strange reason nobody, well almost nobody, he had ever met had liked math.
You did fine, boss, I can tell that's supposed to be a circle." Said Hatori. It was a pretty crappy sphere…but he wasn't going to tell Suzuki that to his face. He worked hard on that….and all of this…and he was in a good mood, too. Even if he hadn't had the power to send Hatori to his death at any time he wouldn't have wanted to ruin Suzuki's good mood. He was a lot…well better…when he was like this. Hatori wondered why he hadn't become a math teacher or something….but then again if you could rule the world then why not? Well there was also the question of why anyone would have wanted to rule the world in the first place.
It seemed like a lot of work, honestly.
Suzuki was never this happy when he was working towards his whole 'world domination' goal. He always seemed either vaguely pissed off or vaguely bored…of course Hatori only had his aura to go off of. He wasn't an expressive man, that must have been where Mob got it from, but his aura…well it told a story…and right now he was happy. He maybe should have taught math or something else….because really it was better for the whole world if President Suzuki was in a good mood.
Really. The world did not need to deal with this man when he was pissed off.
"Sphere. It exists on the x, y, and z axis." Said Suzuki. Well now they would have to go over basic geometric shapes…and that would be wonderful. He wondered if they had any of that coffee Daughter liked left…but maybe he should ask her before he made any of her coffee. It was good…well her normal coffee. She also had birthday cake coffee but that was just disgusting. It tasted like it had been designed by children…and maybe it had been. Still, when she came back inside he would ask her if he could have some of her coffee since he was out of his…and also he would ask her to order more food, too, since for some reason they were almost out of pretty much everything even though she had just ordered more food for them…
He would ask her when she came inside, of course, because he knew not to disturb her when it wasn't Sunday. He hadn't been good about that, lately, and as much as he wanted to spend time with her he didn't want to end up hurting her down the line. He wanted her to grow up properly. He wanted her to grow up to be an adult….and adult who could be independent…but he also wanted her to never leave him and…and he wanted two things that were exclusive. A binary choice. Something easy to understand and express.
A more complex probability model was much more fun to express.
But he didn't want any complex probability when it came to Daughter. He wanted a binary choice. 1 / (1 + e^-z). That was what he wanted….and that was what he had. Either he did everything right and she grew up normally or he ruined her and then…well and then she would never develop independence skills and she would be stifled for the rest of her life. He wanted…he wanted to take care of her for the rest of her life and he could take care of her…for the rest of his life. He was forty four, she was only eleven, and one day he wouldn't be there for her….
So, no, he was not going to pick her up and bring her here and tie a rope around her waist so she could not get away from him…but she would have enough slack to make coffee since she made a very good cup of coffee.
"Right, that's what I meant. A 3D circle. So we can use that math to turn that shape into a sphere?" asked Hatori. He forgot the name of the shape that Suzuki had drawn before. It looked like a normal pyramid but it wasn't and Suzuki was going to tell him, again, what the difference between that and a normal pyramid was….and he didn't know if there was enough time left in the night to hear that explanation.
"Yes. We can do the same with a pyramid." Said Suzuki. He picked up a pencil, one of Son's, and got to drawing. He would have been much better. The z axis…that goddamned z axis. This wasn't true three dimensional drawing. This was just an optical illusion. Paper only had to two dimensions and expressing a three dimensional space onto a two dimensional space….this was just….he would do his best to express this in a way that Hatori would be able to comprehend. He was watching in fascination…and he couldn't remember the last time that someone had watched him do this in fascination.
Well Masami, that first time.
When they had moved into the house and he had been trying to figure out the most efficient way to set up their bedroom. He hadn't been doing this, specifically, but he had gotten out a paper and pencil and he had done his best to maximize their space. He had asked her how much walking space she thought that she would need and then she had asked why…and then he showed her what he had been doing…and she had called him amazing…
That was the last time she had ever shown fascination in what he did…what he enjoyed….well when it came to math.
"Wait….how do we do that with a pyramid? It's a totally different shape. You said so." Said Hatori. Suzuki liked talking about this so he would keep him talking. Suzuki seemed lonely in a lot of ways, to him, that was why he was so obsessed with his daughter. Also, really, he was nicer in general when he was…like this. He would be nicer tomorrow because they were hanging out today and that would be good for everyone, especially his kids.
"The same way we just did it with the tetrahedron. See? All we have to do is…." Said Suzuki. His pencil stayed still. He felt another aura enter his passive range. Well he had always been in his passive range but now he was even closer…and he had no idea what Fukuda was doing there…but he was a welcome addition. Suzuki had never considered himself to be a nostalgic man, he had always been more concerned with securing the future than waxing poetic about the past, but…well it had been enjoyable, a bit, when he and Fukuda had been younger. They must have been…thirteen or fourteen…when Fukuda had watched him in fascination. He remembered…
He remembers rain.
The smell of it. It had been raining and they had been in the First Division….well their version of the First Division…and they had been doing their homework together. Well Suzuki had been doing his homework, homework had to be completed before dinner mother had been very clear on that, and Fukuda had been complaining even though they hadn't been given anything difficult that night. Just more of what they had done in class. He hadn't been able to take Fukuda constant complaining, even if he got the answers wrong he still could have been done in the time he had spent complaining, and Fukuda had been amazed at how quickly he had gone through their entire night's homework….
He wondered if Fukuda still hated math.
He wondered what that day would have been like if Hatori had been there. if he had been there as a person the same age as he and Fukuda were, of course, not as a baby…a fetus…a zygote…well no, he hadn't even been a zygote then….he hadn't been anything…but if he had been something back then it would have been a thirteen year old. He wondered if Hatori would have complained incessantly, Fukuda had been something of a complainer when they had been younger, or maybe he wouldn't have even tried…or been in the same school, even, because theirs had been a school you had to test into and Hatori was not much of a scholar…but maybe if he'd had help….
It was pointless to think about what their lives would have been like together if they had all been the same age.
He wasn't above fantasy, he imagined things sometimes, but he always imagined the future, not the past. He had always dreamt of the future even when he had been small. When he had been very small his mother and father took him on weekly trips to the planetarium. There he had dreamt of a time when he would have been able to go to the places he had only read about…though that did not look like it would be happening in his lifetime….but he did still imagine that….among other things. He imagined ruling the world, a future in which he fulfilled his destiny, more than he imagined seeing the stars…but even imagining actually being able to see the stars, the planets, and to explore deep space….well that was more productive than imagining a past in which Hatori could have been his companion as well as Fukuda.
Though it would have been nice, having Hatori as his companion, since he complained a lot less than Fukuda had when he had been young.
"You ok, boss?" asked Hatori. He knew that they were friends and that it was weird to call his friend boss…but also he knew that Suzuki liked to be called boss because he was, literally, Hatori's boss. He had stopped and his aura had passed over Hatori like a wave…and he had no idea if that had been good or bad. Sometimes it felt like every morning Suzuki woke up, flipped a coin, and the all the rest of them could do was cross their fingers and pray. He liked nice…nice-ish….Suzuki. Suzuki the guy, the dad, the sort of weirdo. Not Suzuki the guy who ran Claw, left people to die in holes, and beat people up for every little thing….
Yeah, he liked Suzuki the friend better than Suzuki the boss…and he hoped that he was going to be spending the night with Suzuki the friend…he really did.
"Yes. I'm fine. Fukuda is near…and I don't know why." Said Suzuki. He was near but…but he wasn't coming close. That didn't make sense. For a moment he thought that Fukuda might have been speaking to Son, Son and Daughter sometimes played in the yard together in the middle of the night for reasons Suzuki could not understand, but no….Son was asleep…and next door. He could pick out auras more clearly when he focused and…and Fukuda was near Daughter….
Which was odd.
Fukuda had overstepped in the past with both of the children….but now only with Son. He mostly left Daughter alone…and Suzuki liked that….and he had no idea why he liked that. Maybe because he didn't want any men at all talking to Daughter…despite that fact that all but one of her companions was a grown man….but Fukuda was himself. He could trust…well it wasn't a question of trusting or not trusting. It was…instinct…maybe? His instincts as a man told him to keep men away from the women in his household…or something. That was why, despite having more than enough space, he hadn't wanted Fukuda to live with his family…with his wife. Well that made sense. He knew Fukuda and he knew that he could trust him but he wanted to make sure that his children were his children…not that he hadn't trusted Masami. No, he knew that he would always be able to trust her…even if she had left…
He was the one who had strayed, not her, and he hoped that if she ever came back she could find it within herself to forgive him.
That was why, maybe, he hadn't wanted Fukuda around Masami. Maybe he had taken a flaw within himself, a flaw that he had not even been consciously aware of, and applied it to every man. Maybe he was still doing that, applying his own flaws to Fukuda, and that was why he didn't want her around Daughter. Daughter was the best, kindest, sweetest, most intelligent, and most beautiful woman…girl. Person. In the world. What man would have been able to say no to her? She was perfect. No man….well no heterosexual man…could say no to her…because she was so perfect….
And he was being ridiculous. Fukuda was not interested in her. He had said so.
"Maybe he wants to hang out. I mean you said that you guys were friends so I figured that maybe he wanted to hang out." Said Hatori. He knew that Fukuda was jealous…and he had no idea why. There was nothing stopping him from hanging out with Suzuki and, honestly, this guy needed all the friends that he could get. So what if he didn't like Hatori? The feeling was mutual but he was good at sitting there with people he didn't like. He had managed to live with Shimazaki for all of these months after all and that guy….Fukuda was a saint compared to that guy. At least Fukuda never shook up his drinks or jumped out and scared him when he was taking a bath….or purposely took bites out of his food when he stopped looking…and he didn't but it for one bit that Shimazaki had done that on accident. He was blind but he could still see…somehow…and he knew, he must have known, that is plate was the one right in front of him….not that he had said anything…
He knew, now, how to keep his mouth shut when he had to.
"This is not for pleasure, we're working, but…he wouldn't come here for work or for pleasure….well if this was something that needed my attention….if he had something that needed my attention right now in the middle of the night…then he would not have been outside with Daughter…" said Suzuki. Maybe he had something that he needed to bring to Daughter's attention. She was his direct superior after all. usually Fukuda came to him with things that he needed to know about but…but delegating to Daughter would have made sense…..though he wished that Fukuda hadn't disturbed her in doing…whatever it was that she was doing out there.
"Do you want me to tell her to come inside? I can if you want me to." Said Hatori. He didn't trust that guy around Little Sister-sama. No way. He had been weirdly ok with the idea of him and Mob….together…and he threw up a little in his mouth thinking about it. He swallowed before Suzuki noticed. That guy…he sucked. He was weirdly ok with an eleven year old girl dating a twenty year old guy…and that was not ok. There were a lot of guys like that, too many guys like that, and Mob…well she was a powerful esper and a mature kid but she was still a kid….
Maybe she'd like to learn some math, too, or something.
Something in this house where he could sit on one side of her, and her dad could sit on the other side, and then the two of them could keep her safe….not that he was about to go and tell Suzuki exactly what he thought of Fukuda…because there was no way to say what he thought and keep it clean…but he could make sure that Mob was safe. Her little brother, too, because he spent a lot of time with Fukuda…and how many away missions could there really be? Hatori knew when something big, big enough to send someone as high ranking as Fukuda was to, and none of those things ever happened in the Seventh Division of all places. He….wasn't about to go around making baseless accusations against Suzuki's best friend...since he had no proof….
But Mob and her brother really did not need to be alone with that guy.
"No, I don't want to interfere with her independence. Fukuda is probably telling her something important. She does outrank him after all." said Suzuki
"….this late at night?" asked Hatori. Suzuki…..well he sometimes wanted to see the best in people….some people….or maybe he was really just that oblivious. He didn't know. All he knew was that he had to protect Mob…but also he had to make sure that Suzuki didn't decide that he wanted to be friends with someone who didn't accuse his friends of….well being ok with things that…were not ok. Not that he said that Fukuda was DOING anything but…well he was weirdly ok with….yeah.
"Yes, even at this hour. He handles a lot of things, tedious things, that I would prefer not to do…but you know that. You're going to be him while he is away." said Suzuki
"Yeah…ok. Um…so. You were going to draw a pyramid?" asked Hatori. He was going to drop this before he pushed Suzuki from friend to boss…and pissed off boss at that. He drummed his fingers on his leg. His eyes went to the window. He wanted…well he wanted to drag Mob back into this house…but he also wanted to….well the bathroom was just down the hall. It was small and safe and he could live in…no he couldn't. He needed…he just needed to get somewhere small…and he didn't know why. It wasn't like Suzuki knew what he had been thinking about his best friend. No, he didn't know how to read minds because if he could well…
Claw hadn't had a purge in a while.
So Hatori would be fine and he just…he had to let Suzuki do his thing. He had to let Suzuki just…well he wasn't going to take Suzuki away from something he loved and start stressing him out of accusing…well he had been there on the plane when Fukuda had accused him of dating…and everything that came with it…Mob. Suzuki had heard his best friend say that and maybe….well maybe he hadn't gotten it. Maybe he just…he wasn't really the best at picking things up and…and maybe he had just….not gotten it. Yeah, he had a history of not getting things…
He had thought, even, that Mob had a CRUSH on him of all people….so, yeah, Hatori knew that Suzuki wasn't the best at…well anything that involved socializing with another human being in any capacity…but he was good at math….so maybe they should stick to math for now….
"Yes, right. Now watch. See? This can easily become a sphere as well." Said Suzuki. He worked as best as he could. He worked because….well also because this was fun…and work could be fun. Always enjoy what you did, father had said that, because if you enjoyed what you did then you would never work a day in his life. Father had loved his job. He had loved being an executive. He loved driving policy. He loved his long business trips. He loved planning for the next fiscal year….and Suzuki had always loved helping him.
Those had been good times.
Before father had gotten his computer, back when Suzuki had been small, he would sit in his father's office and help him go over everything by hand. A pencil, a paper, and a slide rule. Well Suzuki used the slide rule. Father had a calculator. A heavy machine that plugged into the wall…and there had been that slider for the decimal point…and that had always been enjoyable. Making the decimal point move. Father letting him, on those rare occasions when he would not only be allowed in father's office but at his desk, pound away on that calculator. He had been small then, three, when he had first figured out number…how they worked. Father had given him that slide rule to play with but he had done more than play…and then he had gotten older and father had shown him what to do…
Fiscal reports were more fun when he had been at his father's side.
They weren't fun now…well they could be…but he was pulled in so many different directions and…and he had forgotten how much fun this could be. Math. Adding, subtracting, multiplying, dividing. It was fun, a truly enjoyable time, and he so wished that his own children had inherited…well Son was the only one who could inherit anything from him, but neither child….neither child would have enjoyed sitting there with him and pouring over the first half of the year's fiscal reports…or the projections…..but not the budget because that was a headache and a half…and Daughter needed to stop giving people things…but he was not going to criticize his Daughter….
For anything. Ever.
"…right. That's cool and….um…I have to go to the bathroom." Said Hatori. He hadn't been listening…well he had and hadn't been listening. Following what Suzuki said was hard and it was only made harder with Fukuda's aura hanging out there at the edges of his perception. Fukuda had his phone in his pocket…and if Hatori had been sitting there with his own phone in his hand then he could have listened in on what, exactly, he had to talk to Mob about.
But he didn't.
He had his phone in his pocket because he was being polite and…and now he was excusing himself because he was being polite. He wasn't going to get up from the table like he wanted to, pick Mob up, and then hide with her in the bathroom until Fukuda left. That would have been weird and also it would have invited too many questions….and he didn't want to deal with any questions because there was no way to explain himself without pissing Suzuki off…but he could just…
Get up and check on Mob….and then if she needed him for anything….well he would be there for her.
"Don't become anxious and lock yourself in. I have no idea why you're always so anxious but I won't let anyone harm you so if you're afraid of someone harming you then you can stop being afraid of that." Said Suzuki. Hatori's aura was doing that thing again. He could see it, what little aura he had, and he was at a loss. What was this man always so afraid of? It wasn't as thought anyone would harm him Suzuki wouldn't allow it. He, of course, would protect Hatori from whatever it was that he feared. He wouldn't let harm come to him, he was his.
He never let harm come to what was his.
"I-I won't. I'll be right back." Said Hatori. He wasn't going to lock himself in the bathroom…even though he sort of wanted to. He wanted to lock Mob in there with him because…well he knew that she wasn't his actual little sister or anything like that but she was a person in his life who he cared about like he would have a little sister. He didn't need some guy being creepy…or worse…to her. She didn't need that in her life.
She had enough going on as it was.
She had a lot of responsibility for someone her age. When Hatori had been eleven years old his life had been Pokémon, RC copters, school, trying and failing to get girls to like him, and also trying to earn enough for a new DS after his exploded. It had not been helping to run the world's most powerful cult, doing so much babysitting that it may have counted as raising a little brother, and also dealing with a dad as overbearing, and as much as he loved Mob he was overbearing, as Suzuki. Mob had a lot of shit going on and she did not need all of that on her plate.
Poor kid.
Poor, lonely, kid. She really was lonely. That was why she had befriended him in the first place. She had wanted to have a friend her own age and he was the only person in all of Claw that was even close to her age. She had a friend her age now, some little girl, but she was still a lonely kid…and Hatori would do his best to make her feel better. Be it from loneliness or….well whatever she felt from whatever that had been he would be there for her. That was what friends were for and they were friends…just friends. He could be friends with a kid her age and it didn't have to be weird. Anyone who looked at the two of them hanging out and saw something weird…well they had something weird going on in their head.
Yeah, he was fine.
And he did not end up hiding in the bathroom. He'd had to use the bathroom, legitimately, and he'd prioritized that before seeing Mob. She was in her room and…and he hadn't known if it was ok to just knock on her door…she didn't feel like she was asleep but he didn't want to bother her…but he did want to see if she was ok…if she was feeling ok….
She seemed to have been feeling ok.
He could smell, from her room, those pens she was always smoking…and he didn't think that she should have been smoking that…or anything. She was eleven and eleven year olds were not meant to do that and…and she wasn't his actual little sister and he couldn't stop her but…well he could make sure that she was ok. Also she needed to be careful with that. He didn't think that Suzuki would have been ok with his kid getting high all the time, he was a nice guy sometimes but he wasn't THAT nice, so he really should have warned her.
So that was what he set out to do when he knocked on her door.
Her door swung opened as he knocked. She was standing on the other side of it with her pen in her hand and that giant sweater Shibata had made for her on….even though it was hot in there even with the air conditioner going. He didn't get it, the sweater, but Suzuki was the giver of good advice and he had said that nothing good ever came of criticizing a woman's clothes.
Mob wasn't a woman, she was just a kid, but he wasn't about to go and tell her to take that thing off before she gave herself heatstroke. He wasn't there to criticize her, he just wanted to talk to her, to make sure that she was alright. That was all.
"Hi Hatori…if you want to invite me to the math party…I don't feel like going. Thank you though." said Mob. She hadn't been expecting to have felt Hatori just outside of her door…but there he had been. He had been outside of her door and she had thought, for a moment, that she had been in one of her dreams. The kind where he came to visit her at night and then he kissed her and she kissed him and then he told her how much he loved her and then they kissed some more and….and then the weird feelings started…
But this was reality.
This was reality and she…she had maybe smoked too much. The world had…well edges…like she could see the edges of things. Like things were sort of like…like she could see the corners and feel them…and also the rug…and each little bit of the rug had edges…and she didn't know if she liked the edges…but she did know that she liked…well she might have liked him and…and him being there was just…just it made her feel like….she didn't know. She didn't know and she just…did he think about her? Like Fukuda did? She wanted…to wanted to know if he thought about her like that…or at all…and she didn't want him to think of her like Fukuda did but…
Fukuda was a jerk.
But she didn't care what Fukuda thought….because it was his mind and he could think of whatever he wanted…and she just…she was herself….and she just wanted to feel like herself again. That was all…and the only way she could feel like herself again was to smoke and…and she knew that she was not using moderation but…but maybe this was not the night for moderation.
"No I-" said Hatori. He knew not to invite her to that…even though she would have been a hell of a lot safer with him and her dad…but she was in her room and she may have been smoking but also she was safe. He just wanted to make sure that she was ok. He wasn't the bets at reading auras but she….well maybe she just felt weird because she had been smoking…and he maybe should have told her to stop…but he wasn't her actual big brother and also….also he wasn't about to make her feel bad about what she had to do to control her powers. That was why she did it, she had said, so that was ok, he figured.
He just wanted her to be ok, that was all.
"And if you want to invite me to come with you to the comic thing then, yes, I want to go with you. I would like that a lot. I decided." Said Mob. She spoke quickly, very quickly, because it felt like she was running out of time. She knew that she wasn't on a timer. She knew that she wasn't…and also she knew that she had interrupted him…but she had to say this. She had to say this because if she didn't say it right now, right this second, that she would never be able to say it again.
She had made her choice and her choice was…him. Him and…and whatever he wanted…from her.
"Oh…well yeah, I was going to ask you and your brother to go but…you know. During the day." Said Hatori. That wasn't what he had come here to talk about and…and he could talk about this now. She seemed excited to go with him. Suzuki must have told her. Well she seemed pretty pumped and…and that was good. A good sign. If she was still ok enough to get excited about spending the day shopping and doing fan stuff, and she seemed like she would have been really into fan stuff, then Fukuda…well he must not have been too bothered by…whatever Fukuda had ran over here in the middle of the night to talk to her about.
"Oh…you want Sho to come too?" asked Mob. Well that was…she loved Sho. She loved him and if he wanted to come too the he could come too. She had wanted….well he wasn't sure what she had wanted. She had wanted whatever Hatori had wanted…and that was easier. It was easier to want what he wanted than to figure out what it was that she wanted.
Besides a kiss.
She wanted him to…well she had seen this in an anime.
"Yeah, I figured that he'd get a kick out of it, too." Said Hatori. He didn't know what he would do with both kids. Mob was a really mature kid but her brother….well maybe he was better without Shimazaki egging him on. Maybe he was an ok kid…and either way he would bring her brother if he wanted to come, too. It wasn't a choice, Mob or Sho, he could be friends with both kids…even though one of them as more hurricane than kid.
"Um…I can ask him but…if he comes he might want to bring Shimazaki…and I know that you and Shimazaki don't get along…" said Mob. She wanted Sho to come with but…but she also wanted everyone to get along. Yes, that was it. She just wanted everyone to get along and Shimazaki had a lot of trouble getting along with Hatori. Even though he didn't like Minegishi like that anymore, and also he may have wanted to eat them but he didn't eat people in life only in his mind, but even with all of that Shimazaki still didn't like him. Shimazaki went wherever Sho went and…and she knew that they would fight…and she didn't want them to fight…
And it had nothing to do with her wanting to be all alone with Hatori…
Because that was not what he wanted. She wanted whatever he wanted and she knew that if she started to think about what she wanted then…then she would have been all confused about what she wanted. She would have…well she wanted things. Sometimes the things that she wanted were the opposite of other things that she could want. That she did want. That she just…the whole thing was very confusing so…so she would just go with what he wanted….
And if he wanted Sho to come with then that was ok….it really was.
"Yeah, well, I deal with him for a few hours if it means I get to hang out with you guys." Said Hatori. These were the loneliest kids that he had ever met, really, and they could always use more friends. Mob seemed to be happy that her brother was coming, he could see it in her aura, and if it made her happy then he could put up with whatever tornado that the kid could come up with.
"Ok…um…ok." Said Mob. That felt…she knew that he had meant hanging out with her and Sho as friends but…but she wanted…she wanted to…to feel like he was….saying that he wanted to hang out with her. She wanted him to lean down and kiss her…she had seen it in an anime and she wanted…she wanted him to just…just lean down and kiss her even though she had seen that in anime and not in real life…and also he didn't like her like that but…but she wanted him to just…to just….
She decided to smoke her pen some more.
The window in her room was opened and dad knew, anyway, that she smoked. She just…she needed to stop thinking about Hatori in the way that she had been thinking about him. The thoughts and feelings came and….and she just….she felt gross. She still felt gross about Fukuda and….and what he thought about her and…and she didn't care what he thought anymore but….but she did care what Hatori thought and…
And he could never know what she thought about him.
"Cool. So for the comics market wear your most comfortable shoes and if you want to wear one of your cosplay things you can, some people dress up, and pass the message along to your brother, too. Ok?" asked Hatori. This was going to be so much fun! There were a million other things he had to tell her but…well it would come to him later. She was ok, ok enough to make plans with him and that…well that was ok. That was more than ok. She was happy and that…that was more than ok.
"Um…sure. I can do that….yes." said Mob. She needed shoes…and she needed….she needed to find an Elsa dress in her size. That was…that was her favorite and…and Hatori liked it when she was all dressed up…so she would get all dressed up for him and…and then he would think that she was pretty and…and she really wanted him to think that she was pretty.
"And Mob…listen, don't take this the wrong way but Fukuda….um….he didn't say anything to you…did he? Anything weird or….weird?" asked Hatori. Her voice wavered there…and maybe she had been….maybe she had been bothered and he had just been reading her wrong. Maybe he had just been reading her wrong and, yes, she was excited to go with him because she was a kid and kids got excited….but also she could have been bothered and…and this was hard. Being there for a kid was hard…but he had to be there for her. He was her friend after all.
"No, he didn't. He didn't say anything to me at all…not really…and I got tired of that so I was kind of mean and…and I kicked him out of the yard…because he was just…being….I don't know. Too polite but…but weirdly polite…like I was dad…or…something." Said Mob. She didn't know how to say it, how to tell Hatori that Fukuda kept on just…lying to her. Telling her that he still liked her, telling her that he never thought about her like…like he had said that he thought about her. She just…did not want to get into all of that with Hatori. She didn't want him to start thinking about her like that too because…
It would have been….
Not like how it was when Fukuda thought about her like that, gross, but also not….not something that she wanted. She wanted…if he thought about her like….like he wanted to kiss her then…then that was ok. That was ok but anything about…about her without clothes on or something…well that would have been too much…and she didn't want that….but she did want him to like her…maybe. She wasn't even sure about that.
This whole thing was so confusing.
"Hey, don't feel bad. You weren't mean, Mob, not at all. If there's a guy and he's being weird with you then you have every right to tell him to get away from you…or you can tell your dad, too, or me. Anyone really. We're all here for you." Said Hatori. He just needed to make sure that she knew that she was not alone. It was a terrible feeling, being all alone in the world, and nobody needed to know how that felt. Especially not someone as young as her. If he hadn't been able to handle that at fifteen then she would not in any way have been able to handle that at eleven. She had people. She had him and she had the others and…and she had herself…but even though she was powerful she still needed the rest of them. People needed other people….especially people as little as her.
"Ok…ok. Um…I will….um….and….do you want some of my pen? I mean…if you want some you can have some….I mean…" said Mob. She wanted….she wanted to change the subject…because those thoughts just kept on coming…and she was feeling like he liked her again and…and she knew that she should not have been feeling this way and…and she just….
She liked to smoke and he might have liked to smoke, too, so maybe they should just…do that and think about that.
"Um…sure. Thanks." Said Hatori. He had a choice to make…and as soon as he inhaled he realized that he had made the wrong choice. He had made the wrong choice but he didn't stop inhaling, not until his lungs hurt, because she had offered this to him and…and he hadn't wanted to make her feel bad. She did this because she had to and…and he wasn't going to make her feel bad…or be rude….because she didn't need that…
But this was just….not very good at all.
"It's kind of harsh….I should have warned you…sorry." said Mob. Shimazaki said that because they were in Japan he could only get the terrible ones…and they weren't terrible…but they were harsh…and maybe giving some to Hatori had been a bad idea. She had just wanted to change the subject and she had but…but now she would only think about the fact that he had been using HER pen and…and then she could use her pen after him and…and she knew what an indirect kiss was….and she also knew that both Minegishi and Minori had said that indirect kisses were ridiculous…but if she used that pen after him then it would have been an indirect kiss…
And she just….didn't know how to feel about that.
"No, no, it's ok. I'm…I'm ok. I'll just let you get back to….your night. Talk to you later." Said Hatori. That was….how did she do this all the time? He didn't know but he did know that….that Suzuki would be missing him and….and also he would not have been happy to know that Hatori had been getting high with his kid and…and now he was just….going to head back to the math party…that was what she had called it and….and that was what they had been having and….and that had been just….just….
Just really adorable…God. She was such an adorable kid…and he had no idea how Fukuda could have been so…just the way he was…with her.
"Yeah….um….I'll see you later." Said Mob. She took her pen back and she wiped it off with her sleeve. Ridiculous or not she did not want to think about what an indirect kiss with Hatori would have meant…if it had meant anything. She didn't know. She just knew that….that he had to go to bed and…and that he had said that he would see her later and…and that she wanted to see him later…if that was what he wanted….because she knew that it was what she wanted…and also other stuff…but mostly that….and also….
Also she wanted to go to sleep…..yes….that would have been….very good….
"Oh, and remember, comfortable shoes." Said Hatori as he walked back to the table. He felt…well he felt like maybe he should not have shared that pen with her…but he also felt good…and not just because of the pen but also….also because she was ok and….and that was all he wanted, for her to be ok. He wanted her to be ok and also…
Also he wanted to be able to keep it together for the rest of the math party….because maybe he should not have shared that pen with her.