There were three chairs at the table. Only two were filled.
Mob sat at one side of the table and dad sat at the other. There were plates between them. There was tempura fish and rice and salad and pickled vegetables between them. That was good. She wanted something between them…not because she was mad at him or anything. No….she just….couldn't even look at dad let alone be near him right now. Not while she knew what she knew….a lot of what she knew…
She knew that on Fridays his mom had made him tempura.
She was going to focus on what she knew…that was about grandma and grandpa…and not about what she knew about…well stuff that she had never wanted to know about her own father. Stuff about how he used to be a kid. Stuff about how he used to be…about how he used to be a kid and he used to be in love and he used to kiss girls and wanted to find a girlfriend who wasn't mom…because he hadn't met her yet…and Mob had read a lot about more about that part of dad's life then about her own grandparents….and the only reason she had ever even read as much as she had was because she had wanted to know more about her own grandparents…and dad…to a lesser extent…
And now she knew plenty…about dad…at least.
She didn't even know her own grandparents' given names. She didn't know what they looked like. She didn't know what they did for jobs. She didn't know what their house had looked like. She didn't know what kind of shoes they had worn. She didn't know what shows they watched on TV. She didn't even know what their favorite colors were. Dad hadn't taken the time to write any of that down. Instead he mostly wrote about a girl he liked and also things he wanted for Claw. About how there would be ten divisions and how once he ruled the world there would be more….and what all the buildings would look like…and how he and Fukuda went around looking for espers all the time and didn't find any….and about a million other things that she didn't want to know about.
Somethings that she never wanted to know about.
She looked up at dad. He looked back at her. She looked down. She passed him the ketchup with her powers. He loved ketchup. He used to draw stuff and eat at the same time. Fukuda had circled red spot and written that it was ketchup and not blood. There was some blood in the notebook. Dad had stabbed Fukuda a few times with something called a compass…and she didn't know why. Well she knew that dad liked to hit people and stuff but she had never known him to like to stab people….but then again there was probably a lot of dad that she didn't know.
There was a lot about her that dad didn't know.
He didn't know all of her. He didn't know she felt about him, how she loved him but also she sometimes didn't like the things he did, and how she wished that he would change. She wished that he would just…love Sho. That was mostly it. She wished that he would love her like normal but she mostly just wished that he would just love Sho like he was supposed to love his son. She also wished that he would be nicer to people and not be so mean to them all the time. She also….well she had things about herself that had nothing to do with him…and there was no need for him to know about those things…so that meant that there was a lot to him that she had no reason to know about….
But still. Sometimes it felt like there was a whole person there inside of him that she didn't even know…
There was a whole bunch of stuff that she didn't know…there was stuff about dad that she didn't know and there was stuff about mom, too, that she didn't know. At least she had her dad right there and she had found, well Sho had found, a notebook that at least had some information about him that wasn't gross. She had no idea what to do with the information that she had that wasn't gross, like how his mom used to make him eggs and ketchup and rice with a slice of cheese for lunch on Sundays, or how his parents would have him use his powers to fix the satellite dish when the weather got bad, or how he used to look out into the sky and try and draw what he saw…and stuff. She had no idea what she was supposed to do with that information but at least she had it…at least she knew something about one of her parents.
She knew more about dad…she even knew more about Fukuda…than she knew about her own mom.
Mom was a mystery. Her name was Masami. Mob didn't know what her family name was before it was Suzuki, she didn't know what her parent's names were, she didn't know if mom's parents were even still alive, she didn't know where mom was from, she didn't know if mom had any brothers or sisters, she didn't know if mom had any friends when she was a kid, she didn't know if mom had ever been in love with anyone who wasn't dad, and she just….didn't know very much about mom at all. She wished that she had thought to ask. She wished that she had thought to ask mom all the stuff that she should have asked before she left…
But at least she had dad…if she ever wanted to ask him something….if he would ever let her ask him anything….or something.
She looked up at him again. He looked back at her. She looked down at her food…and he looked back at her again. He never stopped looking at her. His eyes and his aura were focused on her….and she didn't know why. She wasn't doing anything. She was just eating. She looked over, briefly, at where Sho should have been sitting. She knew better than to think that dad was looking at her because he realized that he was sad with only one of his kids around and he wanted Sho back and then he would love Sho and take care of him and all of that.
She may not have known a lot about dad but she knew him better than to believe a crazy daydream like that.
"What is it, dad? Are you ok?" asked Mob. She knew that she had to say something. Dad would never say anything. He had written down that he didn't like to start conversations with other people…well he had written that when he had been a kid but he was still that same person in a lot of ways.
"I'm fine. You were just looking at me. I was curious as to why." Said Suzuki. Daughter had been staring at him for the duration of this entire meal. Maybe she had been missing Son…though he didn't know why. This was such a pleasant meal. Nobody was deconstructing their meal, nobody was being tiresome, nobody was shouting or starting a fight….it was a very good meal. Not just because Daughter had made tempura….and he'd had no idea that she knew how to make tempura. She had fried shrimp and vegetables and she had done such a good job…he was so proud of her…
Well he was proud of her for more than her cooking.
He was just…proud of her for…existing. If that made any sense. He was just….he enjoyed the person who she was becoming. She was also so calm and she always took good care of him and the house and her brother, she had never once had to raise so much as her voice let alone a hand to Son, and he was so proud of her…and Masami would have been proud too. If she had been there….which she was not…but that was ok. Daughter was there and…and she wasn't Masami but…in some ways she was better. She was there after all. Just him and Daughter…
Even though it was only Friday it felt just like a Sunday.
"I was just thinking, that's all. Do you need anything? Is dinner ok?" asked Mob. She didn't want….well she did and did not want to talk to dad about….about everything. About how she knew what she knew and about…about all the questions that she had but also…well if she could avoid the gross parts then she would want to know…she didn't even know. Her grandparent's names, maybe? If he'd…if he'd been a good kid…like he expected her and Sho to be good kids. If he'd ever wanted any brothers and sisters. If he'd ever had any friends who weren't Fukuda. If he had even liked Fukuda back then since he stabbed him with a compass. How anyone could ever stab anyone else with a compass….all of that. She wanted to know but also…
Also maybe dad didn't want her to know…or something. She didn't know.
"It's perfect like everything you do. I had no idea you even knew how to make tempura." Said Suzuki. She really was very accomplished, his Daughter. Masami's Daughter. She was her mother's Daughter…well not by blood, obviously, but Masami had taught her well and…and he was proud of her. He cared for her so much and…and he had no idea how he had wound up with one child who was so perfect and another child who was so….Son.
Son was Son.
He didn't hate Son, hate carried with it the idea that he would wish harm or misfortune on Son, but he just…didn't care for him. Not really. If someone tried to kill him then, yes, Suzuki would save him and no matter how terribly the child behaved Suzuki would never cast him aside…but this really was a much more pleasant meal without him there. This would be a pleasant…however long Fukuda planned on keeping him away for. Days or weeks or months…maybe not months, he knew that he would not be so lucky, but he did know that he had to savor this time that he had with Daughter. The time when it was just him and her.
He had no idea how long this time would last.
"It wasn't hard, I saw on YouTube." Said Mob with a shrug. She had no idea if she had done this right. She had always been sort of afraid to do this. Having a pot full of hot oil around was dangerous, especially with Sho around, and she knew that they had a healer and all but she didn't want to get hurt. She was glad that she had made this, though, since dad seemed to be in a good mood. She hoped that she had made this the way his mom had…even though she might have used the mix. Mob didn't know. She had done it from scratch.
Shibata had always said that from scratch was best and there wasn't anyone in all of Claw, in all of her friends, who knew more about cooking than he did.
"Well it's very good, thank you." Said Suzuki. He hadn't had this in…he didn't know when. Homemade, anyway. He hadn't had this homemade since mother…well since that last Friday…no. it had been a…a Saturday. The last Saturday of school….and mother had let him pick because…because it had been the end of the school year…no. That wasn't right. It must have been after that since he had killed mother before he graduated…so he must have been remembering a different time…and he….he wished that he could have remembered that last time….
But it must not have been anything special.
Just a normal Friday night. Mother…well she had moved the tempura from Saturday nights to Friday nights because she had her ink painting group on Saturdays…and on a Friday night Suzuki would have…he would have eaten dinner with a book in his lap…or mother and father would have brought him into the conversation…or they would have allowed him to bring the big television into the kitchen and they would have watched something….well what they would have watched would have depended on the year and….and somehow it had all melded together in his mind and….
He had this irrational feeling that…that he should have done more to remember it…those times…even though it didn't even matter anymore.
Mother and father had been dead for some time now. They had been dead since he had been eighteen years old. That had been twenty six years ago. They were gone, it had been his fault, but now…now he had his own family. He had his own wife…she was gone…but he had his own children. He had Daughter and he would make sure to commit every single moment they spent together to memory. He hoped that one day, when he was dead and buried hopefully not by her hand, she would look back at her time with him while she had dinner with her own children and….and husband…who she would have to replace him with…eventually…
He would enjoy the time he had with her now…since he had no way of knowing how long these times would last.
"You're welcome. I'm happy that I came out right. I didn't know if I was making it right, while I was making it…I mean the way that your mom did it." Said Mob. She wondered if she had said the wrong thing. There was a feel to dad's aura now, and a look in his eyes, well a non-look. His pupils were tiny and the blue parts were big…and he was holding onto the table like he was afraid that he was going to float away…and she had to reach out with her powers to keep the stuff on the table from floating away and…
And maybe she had said the wrong thing.
"What now?" asked Suzuki. He almost choked. His aura…it took everything that he had to keep calm. Daughter…had said…something. Words were spoken. Words that she should not have spoken. She had been talking about….about things that she should not have known about. She should have just…he didn't know. He didn't even know why he felt…anything. When he had been a child mother had…she had made tempura every Friday.
There.
Daughter knew but…but there were several people she could have heard that from. Well only two. He couldn't recall telling her that…he never spoke of mother and father….but she could have heard it from Masami. He had told her…he had occasionally spoken about mother and father to her…back in the days when she would ask. He had no idea why she sought that information out. She had him. She didn't need to know about mother and father and…and maybe she had passed that information along to Daughter and…and he had no idea what Daughter would have needed that information for…or what she would have done with it…
Besides makes dinner.
She had made dinner and….and suddenly he wasn't hungry. When he found out who told her….well if he found out that it had been Masami and then he had found her then…well of course he would not have been angry with her but…but if it had been Fukuda…well he had no reason to be angry with Fukuda but…but he was Suzuki Touichirou and he didn't need to justify anything about himself to anyone…but he also needed to stop being irrational and…and he was being very irrational and…
And he needed to calm down before…before he lost control…and Daughter…she did not need to see that.
"Your mom used to make you tempura every Friday. You looked forward to it when you were a kid…and stuff." Said Mob softly. She didn't know if she had said the right thing. She wondered if it was even ok to talk about that, to talk about how he used to have a mom, about how she used to have a grandma. Dad had never told her about that…about any of that…and it felt sort of like a secret but she had no idea why any of that would have been kept a secret. She knew that when she had kids she would tell them all about dad and what it had been like to be a kid and….and not the gross stuff, of course, because no kid wanted to know that about their own parent but she would tell them the things that were ok for a kid to know….or something. She didn't know. She just knew that…that maybe she had said the wrong thing and maybe dad was mad at her now…or something…
Her stomach hurt.
"You….are correct. When I was small my mother did often make….she made tempura every Saturday to mark the end of the school week, it was longer when I was a child, but then she moved it to Fridays because she had an ink painting group….and yes….you have…done well. My mother…this tastes very similar to my mother's cooking." Said Suzuki. He was calm because he had no reason not to be. He needed his Daughter to remember him as a calm, rational, and above all else in control man. She did not need to remember him for…for the very worst times in his life. He needed…he needed her to remember him…as he wanted to be remembered…
And not as he was.
"Grandma knew how to paint? She was an artist? Like Sho?" asked Mob. She spoke quickly. The glass of milk beside her shook. Grandma…Sho had gotten his art skills from grandma and…and now it felt like….it felt like the time she and Sho had done that big hundred piece puzzle without the box and…and now…now it felt like the puzzle was missing pieces and…and she wanted to find them but…but without the picture she had no idea what she was even looking for.
"I…suppose some comparison could be made….though my mother was a trained artist and your brother…is a mystery." Said Suzuki. Mother had met father when she had Japan to study ink painting. She had spent some time in Japan following the pacific war. Her father had been a soldier of some kind and had lived on a military base. She had moved a lot….and he had never told the children this but…but this did not seem to be…any information that they would have needed. His parents had been dead for some time now and…and he had no idea what they would have even done with this information…and he had no idea what he was supposed to do with this information….information that he'd had within his mind for some time now….
He hadn't thought about mother and father in any great capacity in years….
"Was that grandma's job? She was an artist?" asked Mob. That was another piece of the puzzle. What had they done, her grandparents? What had they been like? She didn't….she had no idea what her family….what dad's part of her family…or even mom's….she didn't know anything. She knew more about her friends' families than she knew about her own. It felt sort of like…like something was missing but…but she hadn't even noticed…or something.
"My mother never worked…she was a trained artist but she never worked. She took care of me and our home. My father provided for us as was his role in our family." Said Suzuki. Mother and father…they had discussed….well he could remember them being very small and mother wanting to work so that….somehow she had thought that her going to work and earning money would have meant that father could have spent more time with them…but then both of his parents would have been gone…mother had been odd like that. Father had told him, when he had been small, that mother was a foreigner and that things were done differently in her country. Here things made more sense. A man provided for his family, father had said, and a woman made sure that the house and children were in order. Men provided for women and women took care of men. That was the order to things, father had said, and from what he could remember father had been a very intelligent man….
He could barely remember his own mother and father…just little snippets of their familial lives…eighteen years and all he had were snippets…moments…of their lives together….
"Oh…ok. What did grandpa do? Did he try and rule the world too?" asked Mob. She had always wondered why dad had wanted to rule the world. He had said, before, that his destiny was to rule the world because he was the most powerful esper ever….and she knew that his parents had been normal people….but normal people could want to rule the world too. It happened all the time in anime.
"In a way, yes. He was an executive at a company which no longer exists." Said Suzuki. Father….it was amazing that father could have given his entire life to a thing and then the thing that he gave his life to could be swallowed up by some international conglomerate. Well that would not happen to Claw. Claw swallowed up other esper groups. It did not get swallowed up. He had spent his entire life building up Claw and he would not lose it. Ever.
"Oh….what happened to the company? Why did grandpa lose his job?" asked Mob. She had never imagined…well she had never imagined anything when it came to her grandparents. She had just imagined…well two red haired people with dad's eyebrows….but both of them could not have had red hair…because one of them was Japan and people who were all the way Japanese did not have red hair.
"My father did not lose his job. The company was swallowed up long after his death. They were simply acquired by a larger computer company….that was what he did. What his company did. They made and sold computers…well computers and calculators and other consumer electronic goods…and he provided well for us. There was a boom in consumer electronics at the time…and the economy as well. They were very good times. I wanted for nothing…just as you want for nothing…and you never will want for anything because I will always provide for you." Said Suzuki. He would make sure that she was provided for after he died just as his parents had made sure that he had been provided for after they had died. The money that they had left him, along with the sale of what had been left of the house, had put him through university and provided the seed money for Claw. That money had allowed him to travel the world and build up not only the cult portion of Claw but the business and less than legal business portions of Claw as well. He had done well with what he had inherited…and it had only been money. He was going to leave his children an entire world…
He wondered what the children would do with the world that he would leave them…
"Oh…ok. But I could have a job too…I mean I already help out in Claw a lot…and I can take care of myself." Said Mob. She knew that when dad had been little girls hadn't had jobs but Minegishi said that things like that were old fashioned and stupid. Dad almost never asked her to help him work anymore, he said that her place was here, but….well she might have liked to have been able to work in Claw…or at another job…like at an animal shelter like mom had used to back before she had gotten married and had her and Sho….or something….
"No. You will always be provided for. While I am alive and after I die. I will be leaving you and your brother the world…well your brother will have the world…but he cares for you and he will take care of you. Even after I die you will never find yourself alone in the world. Ever. I will leave you….you and your brother…everything just as my parents left me everything after their…passing." Said Suzuki. He wished that he had made her. He wished that, eleven years ago, before he had met Masami had had been more romantically or at least sexually successful and then there could have been a chance that Daughter could have been his child by blood. Then she could have ruled the world. But she was not his child by blood, only by law, and the world would be left in Son's hands….may God have mercy on them all…
"Ok….but I don't want to think about you dying. It makes me sad." Said Mob
"Don't be. All who've walked this Earth have died." Said Suzuki
"I know but…but I love you and I don't want you to be dead. I mean…I know that one day I'll be an adult and stuff and…and you'll be old but…but I want you to be my dad forever. Even if you can be mean to Sho sometimes-" said Mob
"I've been making an effort to be kinder to him just as you asked me to." Said Suzuki
"….you have, thank you for that. I still just….I don't want you to die. I mean there's so much about you that I don't know about and…and I was thinking that if you died or…or something then I would never know those things about you…and stuff." Said Mob. She knew that dad would never leave her, he had told her before that they would spend their lives together, but also…also she knew that if something were to happen to him…or something then…then there would be a lot about him that she just…didn't know about. That she wanted to know. That she wanted to be able to tell her kids when they were born.
"I am not going to die anytime soon and…and if you want to ask me something then…then you may." Said Suzuki. He had no idea what she would ask him, what she needed that information for, and what she even…she wasn't there for him to understand. She was there for him to care for and love and…and he would do anything for her. Even talk about….whatever it was that she wanted to talk about….
"Really? You won't get…mad at me?" asked Mob. She could ask dad….anything. She didn't…she had no idea what she even…she had always known dad to keep a lot of secrets but…but now he was being an open book to her and…and she had no clue why. Well he loved her and he was always really nice to her and all but….but he had also always gotten sort of mad when she had been little and she had asked him things….
She had been asking, well she had been trying to ask, about mom then.
She had been trying to ask about mom and dad….he hadn't liked that at all. He had said mean things to her, picked her up by her braids, and then threw her…but that was before. She had been little then, only seven or eight, but she was eleven now and dad loved her. He loved her and he had said before that he would never hurt her…and she wished that she knew how to get him to love Sho as much as her…if that was even possible…
She could ask him.
"No. I could never be angry with you. I love you." Said Suzuki. He knows that he had been able to get angry with her before but….but that had been before he had learned what a gift it was to have her. To have someone who cared for him. To have someone who could never leave him. To have another human being who he could share his life with. To have a human being in his life who would never leave him. He knew that he was a full and complete person on his own but…but he could be an even more full and complete person with Daughter. Like an omelet and ketchup. An omelet was a meal all on its own but when paired with ketchup it became something truly perfect and even more complete. That was what she was, ketchup. She was his ketchup and he was her omelet….or tempura since that was what she had made for tonight's dinner.
"Ok…um….why do you hate Sho?" asked Mob quickly. She closed her eyes and tried her best not to put up a barrier. She knew that maybe she had gone too far or maybe this wasn't any of her business and maybe dad had only meant that he would try not to get mad at her or-
"I don't hate him. He's my Son. Hate implies that I would wish harm upon him. I don't enjoy his company, I find him tiresome as a human being, but I do not hate him." said Suzuki. That was half of Masami. That was half of him. Hating Son would have been like hating himself and Masami at the same time…and also it took effort to hate someone and he did not want to put forth that sort of effort towards anyone let alone someone who had done nothing to deserve it. Well aside from being a very annoying and tiresome little boy…but that wasn't enough for him to hate a person, just dislike them immensely.
"You…you don't hate him at all?" asked Mob. She was glad but also…very confused. She had been dad's Daughter and Sho's big sister for her entire life. She had been watching the way that dad treated him and…and dad really acted like he hated Sho….the way he hit him all the time and told him mean things. Things like he was stupid and bad at everything and that…well a lot of other things that she'd had to listen to him say until she got old enough to be able to tell him to stop. Those were not the words or actions of someone who…who loved their Son…but dad had never said that he loved Sho. Just that he didn't hate him.
"No, not at all. I could never hate something that I made." Said Suzuki. He could never hate his own Son. Even if he'd had another Son to compare him to, he so wished that Masami would have wanted more children, he wouldn't have hated him. That was half of him and half of Masami. He would never harm him out malice. Frustration and anger, yes, but never out of malice.
"Ok….I was just worried about that because…because you can be really mean to Sho sometimes." Said Mob. She wanted to tell dad that he needed to love Sho, not just….not hate him…and that should not have been too much to ask, but she had no idea how to ask that of him. For dad it seemed like maybe it was.
"I know. He deserves it." Said Suzuki. Son had always been…Son. He carried on and…and Suzuki had never felt anything close to Son as he had with Daughter. Even the day he brought her home he had felt closer to her than he had ever felt to Son…maybe because he'd had to acquire Daughter…and Son…well he had made Son…and also…well Son had almost killed Masami when they'd had to filet her like a fish and….and he knew that it had not been an act of malice on Son's part but also…also he'd maybe never forgiven Son...
"Were…were your parents like that? Mean to you I mean?" asked Mob. That would have made sense. If dad's parents had been just as mean to him as he was to Sho then everything would have made sense. It wouldn't have been ok but it at least would have made sense.
"Mother and father were always very kind to me. They provided for me, raised me, and I wanted for nothing. I never carried on in the same way that Son carried on. I never would have dreamt of it. From a young age mother and father made it very clear what my role in the family was. I was to be obedient, never bothersome, and I was to do well in school and then in life so I could provide them with grandchildren and then the bloodline would continue." Said Suzuki
"Grandma and grandpa told you that?" asked Mob. That seemed….like something mean to tell someone…or not mean but just…not nice…and that would have explained dad pretty well…but maybe she needed to stop trying to explain him. Maybe she should just…accept him or just….she didn't know. She just wanted dad to be ok and her family to be ok and she just wanted…she wanted to be ok and she wanted to know and….and she wanted to know more and…and stuff.
"Mostly my father but yes." said Suzuki. Father had made himself perfectly clear and…and he had….never…stopped listening…..
"Ok…are you like him? Grandpa?" asked Mob. She tried to picture…she couldn't picture anything. She tried to picture her grandpa but she just pictured dad with white hair and…and she maybe she should have looked for pictures…back when she'd had the choice.
"I…am in some ways. We both enjoyed math…we would just sit and go through my math books or his reports from work for hours…and we both loved breakfast…and we both loved kendo…he was the one who taught me, actually. As a child he had been a kendo prodigy and he would have gone on but he had to…well he had to provide for himself and his family…and I suppose that I am also a good provider…" said Suzuki. He was getting…he didn't know. He felt like he wanted a drink even though it was best for him….and the rest of the world, if he went his entire life without ever touching a drop of alcohol. He did not want to think about mother or father or…he was done mourning. It had made no sense to mourn, then, when he had been young and it made no sense to mourn now. They had died years ago…and because of him…because he had lost control….
Like he was about to now.
He was going to lose control if he didn't…if he didn't keep his emotions in check. Daughter…he could not lose her. Not by his hand, not to time, and not to some other man who would sweep her off her feet and take her away from him. No. She would not…she would not leave him in any way and he would not…he would not allow her to…to leave her. Even in death. She would outlive him.
If only by one day she would outlive him.
"Do you…do you miss them? I mean I would miss you and I miss…if you died then I would miss you." Said Mob. Even with how mean he could be, how smothering he could be, and how weird he could be she knew that he would be missed…by her. Sho would probably throw a party for dad instead of a funeral but she would miss him…somebody had to. She would miss him like she missed mom…and she did miss mom and….and she knew better than to ask him if he missed mom too.
"I…I do…I did….I mean…I'm done eating. I'm going to…to go to my room now….don't disturb me." Said Suzuki. He didn't wait for a reply. He got up. He pushed his chair back, got up, and left. He had to. He did not want to…to sit there and…and he only wanted to make her happy and he loved her so much more than anything or anyone and…and he was loathe to leave her but…
But if he lost control then she would be the one leaving him.
"But…your tempura….ok. Goodnight…dad." Said Mob. She had been given permission and she hadn't asked him anything about mom….or anything at all. She knew more things now, things that she had never known that she even wanted to know, and she…she could have known more and…and maybe she wanted to know more but mostly….mostly she just…
She just wanted the other two chairs to be filled.
Dad was gone. He was gone to his room and Sho was gone off with Fukuda and she was all alone and…and she had all of this tempura that she had made…and dad had said that he liked it but he had left. Sho would have liked it…with the batter on it's own plate separate from the shrimp and vegetables. He liked tempura but separate…and she wondered where he had gotten it from. He might have gotten that from grandma like he got his art skills…or maybe from grandpa….or maybe from mom's parents…she didn't know…and she wouldn't ask because dad was gone to his own room and…and she was all alone…
She was all alone with two empty chairs…but at least she had more answers, now, and also a lot of tempura to herself….and maybe….maybe Minegishi and the others were hungry…..and maybe there was a chair for her there, too.